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The Book of Modern Irish Anecdotes

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The Book of Modern Irish Anecdotes LONDON GEORGE ROUTLEDGE & SONS.l NOVELS AlfxWO SI^LLW&GS. ^ : Novels at Two Shillings. — Continued. By Author of " Whitefriars." Whitehall. | Owen Tudor. | Caesar Borgia. | Whitefriars. By Fielding and Smollett. Fielding. Smollett. Tom Jones. Roderick Random. Joseph Andrews. Humphrey Clinker. Amelia. Peregrine Pickle. By W. H. Maxwell. Luck is Everything. Wild Sports in the Captain O'Sullivan. Stories of Waterloo. West. Wild Sports and Ad- Captain Blake. Hector O'Halloran. ventures in the The Bivouac. Stories of the Penin- Highlands. Flood and Field. sular War. By Theodore Hook. Gilbert Gurney. Cousin William. Jack Brag. The Parson's Daugh- Man of Many Friends, Maxwell. j ter. Passion and Principle. Cousin Geoffry. All in the Wrong. The Widow and the: Merton. Fathers and Sons. Marquess. Peregrine Bunce. Gervase Skinner. Gurney Married. By G. P. R. James. Agincourt. Forest Days ; or, The Man-at-Arms. Arabella Stuart. Robin Hood. Mary of Burgundy. Arrah Neil. The Forgery. The Old Dominion. Attila. The Gentleman of the One in a Th»usand. Beauchamp. Old School. Philip Augustus. The Black Eagle. The Gipsy. Richelieu. The Brigand. Gowrie ; or, The The Robber. Castelneau. King's Plot. Rose D'Albret. The Castle of Ehren- Heidelberg. Russell. stein. Henry Masterton. Sir Theodore Brough- Charles Tyrrell. Henry of Guise. ton. The Convict. The Jacquerie. The Smuggler. Darnley. John Marston Hall. The Stepmother. Delaware. The King's Highway. A Whim and Its Con- De L'Orme. Leonora D'Orco. sequences. The False Heir. Morley Emstein. The Woodman. My Aunt Pontypool. Published by George Routlcdge and Sons. — Novels at Two Shillings. Continued. By Various Authors. The Night Side of Nature. Emily Chester. Mrs. Crowe. Phineas Quiddy. Scottish Chiefs. Jane Porter. Lewell Pastures. Rory O'More. Samuel Lover. Gilderoy. Who is to Have it? Black and Gold. Feathered Arrow. Gerstal'cker. Capt. Patten Saunders. Each for Himself. Gerstaecker. Vidocq, the French Police Spy. Sir Roland Ashton. Lady C.Long. The Flying Dutchman. The Young Curate. Clarissa Harlowe. Richardson. Matrimonial Shipwrecks. Clives of Burcot Hesba Stretton. Mrs. Maillard. Dr. Goethe's Courtship. The Two Baronets. Half a Million of Money. Lady Charlotte Bury. A. B. Edwards. Country Curate. G. R. Gleig. The Wandering Jew. Handy Andy. Lover. The Mysteries of Paris. Lamplighter. Miss Cummins. Ladder of Gold. Gideon Giles. T. Miller. The Greatest Plague of Life. Ben Brace. Captain Chamier. Nick of the Woods. The Hussar. Gleig. Whom to Marry. Guy Livingstone. A Cruise on Wheels. Running the Gauntlet. Con Cregan. Lever. Edmund Yates. Arthur O'Leary. Lever. Kissing the Rod. Edmund Yates. The Pirate of the Mediterranean. Sir Victor's Choice. Kingston. Annie Thomas. False Colours. Annie Thomas. The Two Midshipmen. Will He Marry Her. John Lang. Captain Armstrong. The Ex- Wife. John Lang. Outward Bound. Author of The First Lieutenant's Story. " Rattlin the Reefer." Lady C. Long. The Secret of a Life. M. M. Bell. RAILWAY LIBRARY. Price is. 6d. each. The Clockmaker. I The Vicomte de Bragelonne. 2 I vols. Dumas. NEW SHILLING VOLUMES. Routledge's Readings (Comic). The Book of Modern Irish Anec- Routledge's Readings (Serious). dotes. Routledge's Read ings (Dramatic). The Book of Modern English The Book of Modern Scotch Anecdotes. Anecdotes. Published by George Routledge and Sons. THE BOOK OF MODERN IRISH ANECDOTES. EDITED BY PATRICK KENNEDY, AUTHOR OF " THE FIRESIDE AND BARDIC STORIES OF IRELAND," " THE BANKS OF THE BORO," " EVENINGS IN THE DUFFREY," ETC. ETC. " By Mahomet," said Sultan Solyman, " That ragged fellow is my very man." Sir Walter Scott. LONDON: GEORGE ROUTLEDGE AND SONS, THE BROADWAY, LUDGATE. NEW YORK; 416, BROOME STREET: LONDON BRADBURY, EVANS, AND CO., PRINTERS, WH1TEFRIARS. PREFACE. The numerous collections of this kind extant, each heralded by its preface, have agreeably removed from the present com- piler any obligation of bespeaking his readers' favour by an elaborate introduction. Like its predecessors, this Irish medley has no higher ambition than that of agreeably occupying a leisure hour during quiet evenings at home, or periods of forced inaction in steamboat or railway carriage. If, when read out in a family circle, it interests and amuses its young and old hearers, the editor's self-complacency will be still further augmented. The English and Scotch and the present Irish compilation, taken in combination with each other, must contribute to some extent in drawing the social bonds which unite the three peoples still closer. Every one of the compilers has had at heart to bring forward the more estimable qualities of his subjects, their ludicrous faults and failings serving merely as a shady background to enhance the brighter tints of the picture. It has entered into the present writer's design to draw the attention of his readers to the principal events in the history . of his country since the revolution of 1691, and to refresh iv PREFACE. the portraits of the most remarkable characters who, well or ill, played out their allotted parts during the same period. The little prefatorial speech being now spoken, nothing remains to be done but to refer to the chief works from which materials have been borrowed. These are—Doctor R. R. " ;" Madden's History of Irish Periodical Literature Mr. W. J. Fitzpatrick's " Sham Squire," and its sequel, " Ireland before the Union;" Mr. |J. T. Gilbert's " Streets of Dublin," from " " " the Irish Quarterly Review ; Sir Jonah Barrington's Per- sonal Recollections;" Papers by Mr. P. J. Murray in the ; " Irish Quarterly Review " " Recollections of Ireland," by Mr. M.; and the "Bar Life of O'Connell," by Mr. J. R. O'Flanagan; and " Ireland Sixty Years Ago," by the late Rt. Hon. Edward Walsh, Master of the Rolls. — MODERN IRISH ANECDOTES. the victory for him, and being IRISH PRONUNCIA TION. asked what he wished to be done for himself, he answered : The Irish of our day complain " I wish to be made a justice o' of the treatment of their pro- de pashe agra."— " But Teague, nunciation byAmerican and Eng- you would not be fit for the lish writers, who remorselessly place."—" Oh fait, I will sho. I drag such words as ftraste, thafe, can make my mark, and take de and paither out of their mouths oats (oaths). I vill be a very to their great disgust. It is pro- honesht man meshelf, and keep bable that they were no better a great rogue for a clerk." In a off in the end of the seventeenth modern farce Teague would have century. Their own countryman, to say kape. poor George Farquhar (1678— N.B.—No Irish peasant mis- 1707), could afford no better pronounces ie or ee. pronunciation nor phraseology to Teague in the " Twin Rivals" than the following : JAMES II. AT THE BOYNE. " Yesh agra, I'm a great thra- veller. I did visit France and THE last monarch of the Shpain agra. I did kish de Stuart line is scarcely a greater Pope's toe : dat 'ill excuse all de favourite with Irish Catholics sins I commit in dis life, and fen than with English Protestants. I'm dead Shaint Patrick 'ill Our peasantry can afford him excuse de rest." no more respectable title than Teague is suborned to swear Shamus a choka. (Natives of that his own master is the England will do well in not at- younger of two brothers, but tempting to pronounce this last when the trial comes on, and he word, nor seek after its mean- sees him grieved and surprised ing.) The poor king has been at his treachery, he acknow- wrongly suspected of cowardice ledges before the Court that he by both parties. He was pos- has received a bribe, which he sessed both of personal courage offers to share with his dear and military capacity, but Eng- master. Having, by his good- lishmen lay nearer to his heart natured blundering, obtained than Irishmen, and he could set " — — MODERA IRISH ANECDOTES. no more than half his abilities let these mere Irish depart with- at work when in command out some punishment. The Wil- against his British subjects, liamite Chaplain, Story, thus rebels as they were. We will relates the circumstances : not vouch for the truth of the "They (the Iniskilliners) stript following tradition, still told at most part of the women, and the hearths of the peasantry, forced a great many arms from and illustrative of the inclina- the men, and took it very ill tions of the chief, who, when he that the duke did not order them saw at one point of the battle all to be put to death, notwith- the foreigners retreating before standing the articles. But he the natives, cried out, " Oh spare knew better things, and so rude my English subjects!" Now were the Irish Scots, that the for the tradition. duke was forced to ride in Burke, the cannonier, catch- among them with his pistol in ing a sight of William on the his hand to keep the Irish from rising ground beyond the river, being murdered. The poor Irish adjusted his piece, so as to put were thus obliged to fly to the him out of all worldly care and soldiers for protection." pain, and cried out to King Schonberg, not being able to James, who was standing near, force the passes beyond Dun- 11 I'm going to present your Ma- dalk, was obliged to form a jesty with three crowns. I have camp, and winter in its neigh- William covered." — "Oh, you bourhood, and wretched winter- " wretch ! answered James, strik- quarters his army experienced. ing the cannon angrily with his Three Dutch soldiers incau- cane, " would you make my tiously straying beyond their daughter a widow ! " Burke was lines were taken prisoners, and anything but pleased with the brought before King James.
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