ASIAN AMERICANS AND THE IMPOSTOR PHENOMENON

A *5 30 A Thesis to the faculty of San Francisco State University In partial fulfillment of A a -=> The requirements for * ^ 3 The Degree

Master of Arts

In

Asian American Studies

By

Vincent Kwan

San Francisco, California

May 2015 Copyright by Vincent Kwan 2015 CERTIFICATION OF APPROVAL

I certify that I have read “Asian Americans and the Impostor Phenomenon” by Vincent

Kwan, and that in my opinion, this work meets the criteria of approving a thesis submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirement for the degree Master of the Arts:

Asian American Studies at San Francisco State University.

Allyson Tintiafigco-Cubales. Ph.D. Associate Professor, Asian American Studies

Grace Yoo MPH, Ph.D. Professor, Asian American Studies ASIAN AMERICANS AND THE IMPOSTOR PHENOMENON

Vincent Kwan San Francisco, California 2015

Asian Americans are viewed as the group of minorities that made it through racial discrimination however, this assumption that they are successful continues to be a burden on some. The model minority stereotype labels Asian Americans as the academically and economically successful minorities by hard work, dedication, and being quiet. This stereotype creates a high expectation on some Asian Americans, to the point where they are unable to meet these standards. As a result, some Asian American may experience the feeling the impostor phenomenon. The impostor phenomenon is a feeling of phoniness that high achieving individuals, who believe that their success is through luck or a fluke, but never believes it was their abilities and intelligence, are afraid that others will discover their failures. Some Asian Americans may experience the impostor phenomenon because they are unable to meet such high expectations from their peers, teachers, and some family members. This constant pressure is continued racial microaggressions that some Asian Americans may be experiencing in their school environment.

I certify that the abstract is a correct representation of the content of this master thesis.

May Date Acknowledgements

Ate Ally son: Thank you for always being there and always open hearted when I’m going through my own impostor feelings. Thank you so much for everything that you have done for me. I’m grateful that we got together! You’ve taught me so much about caring for the community. You will forever be one of my mentors. Thank you so much! Grace Yoo: Thank you for providing the love and care that is needed in the program. I am grateful that you called me out on being an impostor. You’ve always been there to listen and always checking up on me. I am truly grateful to have you on my committee. Thank you. I will tell everyone to have you on their committee! Wei Ming Dariotis: Thank you so much for being there when I needed someone. You’ve become a mentor of mine and I hope to become a great professor like you. Thank you for the amazing two years at San Francisco State University. Without your open arms, I feel like I would have been lost. My Family: You all have been there for me since day one. Thank all of you for being so supportive of my decision to pursue a master’s degree in San Francisco. My Cohort: #dasMarx. Thank you every single one of you. You’ve truly helped me grow into a more mature and caring human being. We’ve had our ups and downs; we’d probably eat our feelings out. I will miss you and I know our friendships will stronger than ever. I love you all. My Partner. Thank you for all the things that you’ve done for me. Thank you for reading my thesis and supporting me through this endeavor. Thank you for setting aside time to help me out. I love you with all of my heart. I’m glad that I am able to share this experience with you. Friends: This goes out to every one of you. You are all truly my support system. Impostor Survivors: You’re worth it. Don’t let anyone knock you down because they think you’re not good enough. You set your standards, don’t let someone do it for you. TABLE OF CONTENTS

List of Tables...... vii List of Appendices...... viii Chapter 1: Introduction...... 1 Statement of Problem...... 3 Purpose of Research...... 5 Significance of Thesis...... 6 The Perpetual Foreigner to the Model Minority...... 6 Theoretical Framework...... 11 Summary...... 15 Chapter 2: Literature Review...... 19 The Impostor Phenomenon...... 19 The Standard of Being an Impostor...... 22 The Performance of Impostors...... 23 Impostors as High Achievers...... 26 Psychological Distress Being an Impostor...... 29 Racialization and the impostor phenomenon...... 30 Formation of the Asian American Identity: Imperialism...... 32 Formation of the Asian American Identity: Whiteness...... 35 Formation of the Asian American Identity: White Supremacy...... 36 Asian American Achievement in Education as Model Minorities...... 40 Family Expectations...... 41 The Model Minority...... 44 The Effects of the Model Minority...... 46 Racal Microaggressions and Stereotype Threat: Effects on Mental Health 51 Racial Microaggressions...... 51 Stereotype Threat...... 53 Conclusion...... 57 Chapter 3: Methodology...... 59 Rationale Approach...... 60 Participation...... 62 Measures...... 63 Procedures ...... 66 Limitation...... 68 About the Researcher...... 69 Chapter 4: Quantitative Findings...... 71 Results...... 73 Impostor Feelings...... 74 IP Measures Across Populations...... 78 Summary...... 81 Chapter 5: Qualitative Findings...... 84 Findings...... 84 Racism and Racialized Bullying in K-12...... 87 Academic Performance and Lack of Attention for Asian Americans...... 93 Family Expectations: Striving to be Successful...... 102 Comparison as a Way of Competition and Family Tension...... 107 Racialized College Experiences and the Impostor Phenomenon...... 111 The Results of the Model Minority...... 115 Conclusion and Analysis...... 120 Chapter 6: Coping Mechanisms...... 123 Support System ...... 124 Self-Worth/Self-Determination...... 129 vii Reflection Through Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies...... 132 Reflection Through Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies...... 135 Chapter 7: Conclusion...... 139 References...... 152 Appendices...... 160 LIST OF TABLES

1. Table 1: Demographics of the Study...... 73 2. Table 2: Mean Scores of the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale...... 73 3. Table 2: Mean Scores of the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale Cont...... 74 4. Table 3: Studies on the Impostor Phenomenon Mean...... 79 5. Table 3: Studies on the Impostor Phenomenon Mean Cont...... 80 6. Table 4: Background of the Respondents...... 85

IX LIST OF FIGURES

Figures 1. Figure 1: The Correlation Between the Model Minority and the Impostor Phenomenon...... 77 2. Figure 2: The Correlation Between Being Smart and the Impostor Phenomenon ...... 78

x LIST OF APPENDICES

Appendix Page

1. Appendix A: Asian American Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale...... 160 2. Appendix B: Implied Consent for Survey...... 164 3. Appendix C: Interview Consent Form...... 165 4. Appendix D: Interview Questions...... 168 5. Appendix E: Email Consent From Dr. Clance ...... 170

XI 1

Chapter 1: Introduction

“You ’re Asian, you ’re supposed to be good at math! ”

At the age of 16,1 started questioning my self worth. My parents always enforced this idea that hard work and determination would lead to great success. They told me to get good grades and always make sure to make the family proud. However this pressure for academic success quickly turned into a nightmare. During my last year of high school,

I faced a life changing moment when my high school college counselor told me that I was at risk of not graduating because I was not meeting the math graduation requirement. It was devastating. I was afraid to tell anyone this news. For the remainder of the year, I told myself to work harder so I could cover up something that I could not do, just so I could fake my way out of situations that might expose my failures. My college counselor provided countless opportunities for me to graduate because she believed in my abilities; however, I never really believed in what she said. I studied and studied just so I could prove to myself that I could do it. Even though I worked hard, there was this constant fear that I would fail again. I did not want to be seen as a failure to my parents, my friends, nor my teachers. I thought that I was the one who struggled the most, but I managed to hide these failures behind a mask to “fool” everyone and to show them that I was capable.

Then, there was a moment when I felt a sense of relief. When I finally managed to pass a simple math test that allowed me to graduate. I was relieved, however the feeling of failure continued to loom over my head. Throughout high school and college, I was 2

perceived as this model minority, where I was supposed to be the epitome of success in academics. I started to compare myself to everyone that was around me. I started thinking that I was not smart enough to be at the university level. I was too afraid of my failures, and the results were catastrophic. My grades suffered, my mental health suffered to the point where I suffered—and still am suffering from—chronic depression and anxiety, and my relationship with my parents strained. I did not know how to make them proud anymore. I did not know how to make myself proud. I continued to push through and never really had the passion to continue through college because I feared that I would never be as successful like my brother or my little sister. I felt hopeless. I had a hard time believing in my abilities and myself. I continued to wear this mask that fooled people around me to make them see that I was successful. I emphasized areas that I was deemed as skilled but never highlighted my failures because I was afraid to admit my shortcomings. I wanted to know more about these feelings of failure.

In order for me to understand these feelings, I applied to graduate school. When I entered graduate school, I finally understood why I continued to live with something that was out of my control and why it continues to impact my life to this very day. I was being an impostor. The experiences that I was having throughout my entire life were part of something even bigger. I wanted to know more about these feelings and behaviors. I wanted to understand where these feelings were coming from. When I started talking to other people about these feelings, they admitted that they also had these behaviors as well. I was not alone. 3

I realized that I was an impostor through talking to my advisor. I mentioned that I

did not feel that I was good enough to be in graduate school because of my grammar,

writing, and my intelligence. I told her that I felt that I wanted to drop out because almost

everyone in my cohort was smarter and more versed in the topic of Ethnic Studies than I

am. She told me about the impostor phenomenon. She said that I was showing symptoms

of being an impostor. She recommended that I should take the Clance Impostor

Phenomenon Scale. I took the scale and I scored 95 out of 100; a near perfect score. She

reassured me that I was fit for the program; however, it took me a while to realize what

she said was right.

My story is part of a larger experience. These feelings hindered me from growing

as a person and realizing that being an impostor is a major roadblock in my road to

healing. There are tons of expectations that Asian Americans may face throughout their

educational experience. So many Asian Americans are expected to uphold the Asian

American model minority stereotype of being academically and economically strong.

What happens when an Asian American does not uphold these standards? How are they

portrayed? What contributes to the feelings of being an impostor? What contributes to the

feelings of the impostor phenomenon among Asian American students who have been

successful in some traditional ways? This thesis will explore the impostor phenomenon

and how it impacts Asian Americans throughout their education experience.

Statement o f Problem 4

Doctor Pauline Rose Clance created the impostor phenomenon, which is “the perpetual feeling of being an intellectual fraud, which obtained success through luck, connections, and hard work but never believes that their success was through their own ability or intelligence” (Clance 1985). There are only a handful of studies that show the connection between the impostor phenomenon and educational performance (Clance,

1985; King & Cooley, 1995; Kumar & Jagacinski, 2006; McElwee & Yurak, 2010Want

& Klietman, 2006; Cokley et. al 2013; Peteet et. al 2014; Thompson et. al 1998, 2000;

Sonnak & Towell 2001; Castro et. al 2004; Ferrari 2005; Ferrari & Thompson 2006;

Kumar and Jagacinski 2006; Gibson-Beverly & Schwartz 2008; McGregor et. al 2008;

Cokley et. al 2013; Peteet et. al 2014). These studies show there is a correlation between the impostor phenomenon, educational achievement and the experience of students in college, where students have been influenced by some kind of expectation that they must uphold from their parents, peers, and teachers. As a result, the impostor phenomenon has a crucial impact on student performance and achievement (Kumar & Jagacinski 2006).

These studies show there is a connection between the impostor phenomenon and the mental health of impostors (Ross et. al 2001; Bernard et. al 2002; Clance, 1985).

According to current research, there is a link between the mental health of students and how these struggles trigger the impostor feelings.

Although these studies do provide a lens into how the impostor phenomenon impacts student performance in education, the research that has been done does not mention how people of color may experience the impostor phenomenon, more 5

specifically Asian Americans. Asian Americans are often overlooked because of the model minority stereotype. The model minority is a stereotype that labels Asian

Americans as the academically and economically successful and claims that thusly, they are able to achieve the American Dream (Bascara, 2006; Byun & Park, 2012; Henfield et al, 2014; Lee, 2009; Park, 2010; Ngo & Lee, 2007). From the research, the model minority lumps the Asian American experience together, as a result, ignoring different

Asian ethnic groups’ experiences (Lee 2002; Ngo & Lee, 2007). The countless research that has been done to debunk the model minority stereotype shows that Asian Americans do experience more expectations from their peers, family, and school administration compared to other races. These expectations of Asian Americans are formulated through the formation of the United States imperialism and white supremacist policies.

Purpose of Research

The focus of this research is to discuss how the impostor phenomenon impacts

Asian American students and to address the burden of the model minority stereotype on

Asian American students. As a result, we can continue to add onto the literature that is presented about the model minority and aim to debunk the stereotype. The research questions that I will use to explore this topic are:

• How do Asian Americans college students experience the impostor’s

phenomenon?

o What are the impostor characteristics that Asian Americans experience? 6

o Is there an association between experiences of racialization and the

impostor phenomenon?

• How does the racialization, in particular the model minority, impact how Asian

American college students have and are currently experiencing the impostor

phenomenon?

o What have been the experiences of Asian American college students and

the racialization in their K-12 studies?

o What have been the experiences of Asian American college students and

the racialization as the model minority in college?

• How do family expectations factor into the development of the impostor

phenomenon in Asian American college students?

• How do Asian American college students cope with the impostor phenomenon?

In addition to these questions, I examine the possible influences that family, peers, teachers, and societal expectations have over Asian American students’ impostor feelings. I also take a look how culture and cultural hegemony reproduce the impostor phenomenon amongst Asian Americans.

This thesis on the impostor phenomenon will shed light onto the model minority stereotype that has harmed and not benefited Asian Americans and other students of color both academically and psychologically.

Significance o f Thesis 7

The purpose of this study is to find an association between the impostor phenomenon and race. This thesis will contribute a body of literature on the study of the impostor phenomenon and its association with the racialization of Asian American college students. The study provides a lens into the Asian American educational psychology where it analyzes the pressures to succeed academically and the consequences of this expectation on Asian American student’s mental health. For Asian

American college students, their experiences in both education and psychology are overlooked because of the model minority stereotype (Lee 2009; Terranishi 2010). The model minority stereotype continues to have an impact on the growing population of

Asian American college goers.

The Perpetual Foreigners to The Model Minority

Asians and Asian Americans are seen as one of the fastest growing racial groups in the United States (US Census 2010). According to the 2010 US Census, the Asian and

Asian American population grew 43 percent between 2000 and 2010. In United States history, Asian Americans were the first racial group to be excluded from immigration to the United States. Throughout the United States history, Asians and Asian Americans were often seen as “strangers from a different shore” (Takaki 1998). Asians were seen as the perpetual foreigners that did not belong in the United States; however this perception soon changed in the 1950s as Asian Americans were seen as the model minority. This experience of being excluded shaped and influenced the Asian American identity. 8

Asian Americans have experienced racial discrimination throughout history in the

United States. One way that Asian Americans faced discrimination is as a result of the perpetual foreigner stereotype. In the 1870s, Asian immigrants started to come to

America from all comers of Asia to pursue opportunity in the United States (Takaki

1998). Asians were pushed out of their home countries because of hardship while being pulled to the United States due to the demand of labor. The first wave of immigrants was the Chinese, who came to the United States in pursuit of Gold Mountain (p. 80). As more and more Chinese came to the United States, the country enacted the Chinese Exclusion

Act in 1882, which limited the number of Chinese immigrants from coming to the United

States. When the Chinese were excluded from immigrating to the United States, the

Japanese came to the United States in the 1900s in pursuit of economic opportunity that was limited in their home country (p. 45). The Japanese, as well as Asian Indians, soon experienced limitations of immigrating to the United States. From the Gentlemen’s

Agreement to the Immigration Act of 1924, Japanese, South Asians and the rest of Asia, were banned from immigrating to the United States. Furthermore, Filipinos were considered nationals, which allowed them to immigrate to the United States. They later were excluded from immigration due to the Tydings-McDuffie Act of 1934. In 1942,

Executive Order 9066 issued by President Roosevelt forced many Japanese and Japanese

Americans into internment camps and stripped away their rights for due process and equal protection under the law (p. 391). These laws and orders supported the idea that

Asians and Asian Americans did not belong in a country that demanded the labor from 9

them. According to Lee (2009), many non-Asian people believed that Asian Americans

were foreign. However this image soon changed.

The image of Asian Americans soon changed drastically after World War II. In

the 1950s, the McCarran-Walter Act allowed Asian Americans to become citizens within

the United States (Pew 2013, p. 36). In the 1960s, the Immigration Act of 1965

“abolished the national-origins quota system and classified immigrants according to

whether they originated from the Eastern or Western hemisphere” (Hsia & Hirano-

Nakanishi 1989, p. 249). This allowed about 20,000 Asian immigrants to migrate to the

United States (p. 250). The population of Asian immigrants began to grow as more and

more continued to enter the United States. These groups were primarily first generation

Asian immigrants coming from their native homelands. Asian immigrants believed that

education was associated with socioeconomic upward mobility, which would give Asian

Americans status and respect in the United States (pp. 253-254). With this value in mind,

Asian Americans had the lowest drop out rates, highest grade point averages compared to

other racial groups, and an high graduation rates compared to other races in the United

States in the 1980s (pp. 254 - 255). In the 1980s, NBC Nightly News, McNiel/Lehrer

Report, and CBS’s 60 Minutes, started to air the success of Asian Americans highlighting

their high achievements in high school graduation rates and going onto higher education

(Takaki 1998, p. 474). This boosted the image of Asian Americans from the perpetual

foreigner to a positive stereotype called the model minority. 10

The model minority is a stereotype that labels Asian Americans as the successful racial group that has overcome racial problems and has achieved economic and academic success (Bascara, 2006; Ngo & Lee, 2007; Lee, 2009; Park Terranishi 2010; Byun &

Park, 2012; Henfield et al, 2014;). According to the United States Census, 88 percent of

Asian Americans have graduated with their high school diploma, and 52 percent of Asian

Americans have graduated from college and learned a higher degree. Compared to other racial groups, Asian Americans are seen to be achieving higher than white American students. The emergence of the model minority originated from different news outlets in the 1980s when they wrote stories about the successful Asian Americans and their determination to succeed in the United States by overcoming racial disparities (Takaki

1998; Lee 2009). With the educational success that Asian Americans had obtained,

United States politicians believed that Asian Americans did not require such support from the government. The model minority, however, continues to “hide the reality of the many

Asian students who are not successful” (Lee 2009, p. 52). The model minority stereotype ignores the failures of Asian Americans of other Asian ethnic groups while highlighting the successes of others. The model minority lumps together all the Asian American experiences. Park (2010) explains, “the myth [stereotype] also works to pit Asian

Americans against one another: academically successful ‘good’ Asian Americans versus

‘bad’ Asian Americans who could not live up to the image” (p. 622). The model minority imposes the idea that Asian Americans have climbed over other racial minorities in success (Lee 2009, p. 107). This stereotype places a tremendous amount of expectations 11

onto Asian Americans. As a result, if one does not meet these standards, they are questioned for their authenticity as being Asian American.

Theoretical Framework

In order to understand the Asian American Impostor Phenomenon we must understand the different influences that trigger the impostor feelings. Grounded theory allows me to have flexibility in formulating common themes in this research. It also allows me to use theoretical frameworks to analyze the experiences of Asian Americans.

These frameworks are imperialism, whiteness, and white supremacy.

The first theoretical framework that I am using is imperialism. Galtung (1971) describes imperialism as, “the center nation has power over periphery nation, so as to bring about a condition of disharmony of interest between them.” (p. 83) Center nations represent the country with imperial ideals, while periphery nations represent the countries that suffer from these ideals. Galtung provides five types of imperialism: economic, political, military, communication, and cultural; and three phases of imperialism, past

(colonialism), present (Decolonization), and future (instant communication). For this thesis, I will primarily focus on the political and cultural imperialism introduced by

Galtung.

Galtung (1971) describes political imperialism as the, “concept of a ‘mother country, the Center nation, is also an indication of how the decision-making center is dislocated, away from the nation itself and towards the Center nation. These decisions may then affect economic, military, communication, and cultural patterns” (p. 91). 12

Political imperialism influenced the foundation of the Asian American culture where imperialism controlled the outcome of one nation’s political situations. Bascara (2006) explains that the United States imperialism created a condition where Asian immigrants desired to go west. (p. xxii) Political imperialism shaped how immigrants saw the west and ultimately, pulled them to it. In addition Galtung explains that cultural imperialism is,

“the division of labor between teachers and learners is clear [where] it is the Center always provides the teachers and the definition of that worthy being taught.. .and the

Periphery always provides the learners.” (p. 93) This helps us understand that imperialism does have influence on how a nation with power can teach and shaping historical favors of the imperial country.

Galtung introduces three phases that explain the consequences of political and cultural imperialism. The first phase that he explains is the past which is associated with colonialism, where, “[a] precise control over another nation would have excised by physically transplanting one’s own center and grafting onto the top of the foreign body— in other words, colonialism in all its forms best known in connection with ‘white settlers’” (p. 94). This means that the country that has imperial intent will seek out and colonize a weaker country because the weaker country is a major resource to the dominant country’s economy. The next phase is the present, which is linked to neo­ colonialism. He explains that, “neo-colonialism came; and in this present phase of imperialism, control is not of the direct.. .but a link; and this link takes shape of international organizations” (p. 95). Imperialism, now, has taken up a different form that 13

does not benefit the dominated country because of the constant involvement from the dominant country. This might push people to other countries because of the constant involvement. Finally the last phase is called the future, or instant communication, where,

“the agents [colonizers] have now been successful...[where] elites have emerged in the

Periphery nations, strongly identified with the well harmonizing with the Center elites.”

(p. 96) The imperial country finally has a firm control over the weaker country where an elite class is established. This creates a separate class system within the weaker country.

With that, resources are distributed differently. With minimal resources, people might be forced to migrate out the country to seek better opportunity. The United States is an example of imperialistic country that has colonized and forced people out because of white supremacy.

The second theoretical framework that I am using is whiteness. Whiteness can be defined as, “the concept of gaining access to a set of public and private privileges that can protect white individuals from hostility, distress, and voice through affirmed laws”

(McIntosh 1988, Harris 1993). Weilbacher (2012) argues that whiteness has become a sense of standardization for students across the United States. He writes, “White people and agendas have historically and deliberately controlled U.S education and its inception.

Members of the White corporate America stand to make significant profits through the creation of tests, test-preparation materials, and computer-based educational programs being implemented across the country” (Weilbacher 2012, p. 2). This shows that whiteness has dominancy in our very own education system, meaning that the standards 14

that are imposed onto individuals are through white expectations. Teachers, in some way

are “pressured.. .into increasing their attention to meeting standards (especially reading

across the curriculum), using test-prep materials, and teaching scripted curricula”

(Weilbacher 2012, p. 2). This implies that teachers are influenced to continue the

standards of whiteness. Whiteness controls the fundamental aspects of how students are

supposed to learn and succeed. When some students do not meet these standards, they are

seen as not good enough.

Another theoretical framework that will be used to analyze the treatment and the

creation of the model minority is white supremacy. White supremacy, along with whiteness, has created stereotypes in the United States. White supremacy is a socially

constructed idea where, “non-whites.. .have been denied the privilege of normativity, and

are marked within the West as marginal and inferior” (Gillbom 2005, p. 490). This means that non-whites, or any person that is not white, is seen as inferior to the dominant race.

Those who are non-white lack certain privileges that are granted to white individuals.

Any one that is not part of the “normal” is seen as inferior. Smith (2006) explains that white supremacy allows people to label others, as different who will always be foreign threats to the nation (p. 68). White supremacy has the power to categorize others because they do not fit into the normal white culture. As a result, stereotypes and racial superiority are created to concretize the dominance of white supremacy.

In this research, I will be using these three frameworks to help explore how the

Asian American identity is formed, how the impostor phenomenon impacts the lives of 15

Asian Americans, and how impostors might handle their feelings of inferiority.

Imperialism will help explain how Asian Americans are influenced by the values of the dominant country. It will illuminate the influences of the imperial country and the values of the parents of Asian American children within education. White supremacy will help analyze how stereotypes may influence the development of the impostor phenomenon in

Asian American students. Racial formation will help illustrate how racism plays a factor in the formation of the Asian American identity, especially the creation of the model minority.

In some ways, the themes that are expressed in this study are correlated with the theoretical frameworks. The K-12 experience is influenced through imperialistic ideals, familial expectations are formulated through the expectations of whiteness, and the racialization of Asian Americans is a continuation of white supremacy.

Summary

The impostor phenomenon is formed through different factors that many people experience in their lives. For Asian Americans, their identities are formed through the experiences they have in the United States because of racial formation and white supremacy. Asian Americans are placed onto a pedestal due to the formation of the model minority. Through the standards of such the model minority stereotype, Asian

Americans are pressured in fulfilling this expectation. This leads to the development of the Asian American Impostor Phenomenon. 16

The next chapters will further engage grounded theory and discuss my research on

the Asian American impostor phenomenon. Chapter two reviews the literature that has

been written on the impostor phenomenon and the Asian American experience. This

chapter is separated into four sections. The first section will analyze the impostor

phenomenon. The second section will analyze how imperialism, whiteness, and white

supremacy are associated with the Asian American identity. The third section will

analyze the model minority and Asian American educational achievement. The last

section will analyze how racial microaggressions and stereotype threat are associated

with the formation of the Asian American Impostor Phenomenon.

Chapter three will go over my methods that I will be using in this study. I will be

using a mixture of quantitative and qualitative methods to conduct the research.

Quantitative data will allow an understanding of the population that I will be sampling,

while the qualitative data provides a voice to the empirical findings. This chapter will

address why I chose to use the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Survey and in-depth

interviews. I believe that these methods will provide a new perspective to the Asian

American experience and the impostor phenomenon.

Chapter Four will discuss the quantitative findings that were found through the

Clance Impostor Phenomenon Survey (CIPS). The survey will conclude that there are different impostor feelings that the samples have experienced by providing the averages of each statement. The chapter will provide a correlation between the racialization and 17

the impostor phenomenon. Finally, the chapter will give samples of other research that has been done using the CIPS as a measurement.

Chapter five and six will address the qualitative findings. In chapter five, it will

examine the experiences of 10 Asian American college students by analyzing their k-12

experience, family expectations, and college experiences. These three topics are

associated with the themes that are found while using grounded theory. These themes and

experiences will be analyzed through the theoretical frameworks of imperialism, whiteness, and white supremacy. Chapter Six will analyze the coping mechanisms that

the interview participants have recommended.

The last chapter, Chapter Seven, will address the conclusion. The conclusion will

discuss the implications to mental health problems and educational recommendations in

addressing the issues of the impostor phenomenon. I will provide future research that can be done to further the impostor phenomenon and the Asian American experience.

Terms:

Impostor Phenomenon: A feeling of phoniness that high achieving individuals, who believe that their success was due to a fluke or luck and never their own abilities or

intelligence, are afraid that their failures would be discovered by others. (Clance & Imes

1978; Clance & O’Toole 1978; Clance 1985; Holmes et. al 1993; Chae et. al 1995; King

& Cooley 1995; Henning et. al 1998; Thompson et. al 1998, 2000; Sonnak & Towell

2001; Ross et al 2001; Bernard et al 2002; O’riel et. al 2004; Ferrari 2005; Ferrari &

Thompson 2006; Want and Kleitman 2006; Kumar and Jagacinski 2006; Gibson-Beverly 18

& Schwartz 2008; French et. al 2008, Legassie et. al 2008; McGregor et. al 2008; Castro et. al 2010; Cokley et. al 2012; Dudau 2013, 2014; Peteet et. al 2014).

Asian American Impostor Phenomenon: The immense fear of failure and phoniness that Asian Americans, who experience racial microaggressions and stereotype threat, experience due to inadequately being able to meet certain standards based on their race.

Stereotype Threat: the threat of being viewed through the lens of a negative stereotype, or the fear of doing something that would inadvertently confirm that stereotype. (Steele

2003, p. Ill)

Racial Microaggressions: Subtle statements and behaviors that unconsciously communicate and designate messages to people of color. (Nadal 2011, p. 470) 19

Chapter 2: Literature Review

“Do you ever feel like an impostor? ” “Everyone here is an impostor. ” Piled Higher and Deeper (Movie)

The impostor phenomenon is a complex feeling that many people experience in their lifetime. The purpose of this literature review is to discuss the current literature done on the impostor phenomenon and the Asian American educational experience. In order to understand how Asian Americans may experience the impostor phenomenon, researchers must analyze how an individual develops the impostor phenomenon, and how the Asian

American identity is shaped within historical and contemporary issues. First, the literature review will discuss the origins and further understand the impostor phenomenon. Second, the literature review discusses how the Asian American identity is formed through imperialism, whiteness, and white supremacy. Finally, this literature review will address the experiences of Asian Americans in education in regards to stereotype threat and racial microaggressions. This literature review aims to show the gap in the literature on race and the impostor phenomenon.

The Impostor Phenomenon

To understand how the impostor phenomenon impacts Asian Americans in education, there needs to be an understanding of how one develops the impostor phenomenon. The impostor phenomenon impacts an individual’s life by hindering them from seeing their true potential. The impostor phenomenon is the feeling of phoniness that high achieving individuals, who believe that their success is due to a fluke, luck or 20

great effort and never from their own abilities, experience with the fear of being discovered by others (Clance & Imes 1978; Clance 1985; Clance & O’Toole 1988;

Holmes et. al 1993; King and Cooley 1995; Bernard et al 2002; Kumar and Jagacinski

2006; Ross et al 2001; Want and Kleitman 2006). Clance (1985) used client case studies to further explore the impostor phenomenon, and the development of the impostor mask.

Clance (1985) explained that individuals who suffer from the impostor phenomenon (IP) wear a mask that hides their faults, secrets, and shame. With this mask, impostors, or IP victims, were able to disguise their weaknesses and fool their friends, peers, teachers, and parents. However with this guise, IP victims experienced dissatisfaction of themselves (p.

28). This encouraged IP victims to continuously strive to prove they are successful, while wanting to believe in their success (p. 17). The mask could trigger different levels of misery, anxiety, depression, as well as feeling hopeless and helpless (Clance 1985; Ross et. al 2001; Bernard et al 2002;).

Clance stated that the origin of the impostor phenomenon derives from fundamental family values (p. 32). Parents constructed and controlled how their children are supposed to act. From this construct, children began to take on characteristics that are enforced, creating a negative self-image through the parental construct (p. 32). Clance listed four elements that create the impostor phenomenon: 1) family’s image is not the world’s image; 2) being smart; 3) the family’s square peg; and 4) lack of praise. From these elements, impostor children are often confused by the mixed messages from home and schools. At home, they were often compared to other family members’ success, while 21

being told they should strive to become smart and accomplished. At school, teachers praised impostors for their abilities and skills (Clance 1985). Furthermore, impostor children felt like their skills and abilities were different from their family’s abilities. The accomplishments of impostor children may not be celebrated due to the fear of becoming arrogant and the fear of admitting their mistakes (p. 34).

In addition, Clance explained (1985) that individuals experiencing two or more characteristics developed the impostor profile. Five different personalities comprise the impostor phenomenon: the impostor mask, fears of failure, the superwoman and perfectionist male, denial of competence and discounting praise, and the fear of and guilt of success. The impostor phenomenon is the result of, “the feeling of anxiety, self-doubt, and dread increase the amount of stress involved with success and decrease the sense of satisfaction that should come with it” (Clance 1985, pp. 51-52). IP victims believed that they must work harder and aim higher out of the fear that others might discover their failures and inadequacies (p. 52). Clance explained that the impostor mask was, and still is, a major part of the impostor phenomenon. The impostor mask maybe difficult to break, and it hinders impostors from functioning and accepting their success (p. 53). Until impostors can handle their impostor feelings and behaviors, they may continue to experience these feelings when assigned different tasks (Clance 1985).

With the impostor phenomenon, Clance (1985) claimed that first generation professionals, children of successful families, and students experienced the impostor phenomenon. Clance argued that first generation professionals feel guilty about their 22

success in the family due to making their loved ones feel less important and less intelligent (p. 106). In addition to first generation professionals, children of very successful parents also experience impostor feelings. Clance explained that children of

successful parents have a strong need to be the very best and most special compared to others due to the expectations to be successful (p. 108). The children developed their

impostor feelings while trying to be perfectionists (p. 108). Students tend to underestimate their abilities and remember the deficits more than their strengths due to the fear of failure (p. 111).

From the works of Clance, further studies are made to comprehend how the

impostor phenomenon impacts individuals’ lives. With the following scholarship from

other researchers of the impostor phenomenon, a standard is set to determine who is an

impostor and who is not.

The Standard of Being an Impostor

Discovering an impostor is a difficult task for some individuals. The Clance

Impostor Phenomenon Scale (CIPS) and the Harvey Impostor Phenomenon Scale (HIPS) became the two leading scales that helped identify impostors. Holmes et. al (1993)

conducted a study in comparing the CIPS with the HIPS. For their sample, they used 62 people. The imp scored an average IP score of 86.87 (SD=5.38) while non-impostor averaged 70.30 (SD=8.50). This revealed that their sample size had frequent impostor feelings. This meant that the sample often felt the pressures of the impostor phenomenon.

These populations were identified as either impostors or non-impostors. From their study, 23

they found that the CIPS had become a valuable tool in separating impostors with non­ impostors due to its sensitivity to the respondents (Holmes et. al 1993). Their finding suggests that 62 should become the cutoff for determining an impostor for both the CIPS and HIPS. With this new knowledge, impostor phenomenon researchers began to use this standard to find the characteristics and feelings were associated with the impostor phenomenon.

The Performance o f Impostors

Scholars began to associate different ways that individuals may experience the impostor phenomenon. One area that scholars started looking into is the performances of impostors (Ferrari 2005, Ferrari & Thompson 2006; Want & Klietman 2006; Dudau

2014). One way is through self-handicapping, self-presentation and, social desirability.

Ferrari and Thompson (2006) studied how individuals experienced self-handicapping and self-presentation as a way for social acceptance. They conducted two studies. In the first study, they sampled 165 undergraduate students to examine perfectionistic thinking, the impostor phenomenon, and social acceptance. In the first study, Ferrari and Thompson used the CIPS to measure the impostor phenomenon. To analyze perfectionistic tendencies, they used two measures. The first measure was Perfectionistic Self­ presentation Scale, a 27-item scale that measured perfectionist characteristics of self­ promotion, no display of imperfection, and fear of disclosing imperfections. The second measure was the Perfectionistic Cognition Inventory (PCI), which measured thoughts and avoidance of imperfection in social settings. To measure social desirability, they used the 24

Balanced Inventory of Desirable Responding. In the first study they found that that perfectionism was highly associated with the impostor phenomenon (Ferrari &

Thompson 2006). In addition, Ferrari and Thompson concluded that impostors wanted to make a impression on others. Impostors often behaved in a perfectionistic way due to their thought process of being perfect (p. 345).

The second study that was conducted by Ferrari and Thompson examined how self-presentation affected impostors’ performance. In the study, they sampled 72 female undergraduate students where they studied them through three situations. The first situation was face-saving, where they studied poor performance using an excuse. The second situation was humiliating failure, where no excuses were used. The last examined success, where it measured how effective these failures manipulations (Ferrari &

Thompson 2006). At the end this study, the participants evaluated their performance and anxiety. The study concluded that individuals claimed self-handicapping in the humiliating failure situation due to poor performance (Ferrari Thompson 2006, p. 350).

In addition, further studies examined self-handicapping. In some studies, they examined how self-handicapping and the impostor phenomenon may be contributed through different parenting styles. Want and Klietman (2006) conducted a study on how self-handicapping (SH) and parenting styles factor into impostor phenomenon. The article defined self-handicapping as “one strategy used to avoid negative evaluations, providing for possible failure to be attributed to the handicap, rather than the person”

(Want and Klietman 2006, p. 962). Want and Klietman surveyed 115 students from a 25

psychology class using the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale (CIPS), which measured the how the impostor phenomenon impacts individuals’ lives. In addition to the CIPS, they used the self-handicapping scale, which measured the tendencies of self- handicapping behaviors. Furthermore, they used the parental bonding instrument, which measured the relationship of the individual with their parents through parental care and overprotection. Finally, they used the Esoteric Analogies Test, which evaluates reasoning, verbal skills, and confidence in judgments. The research concluded, “the parent may view the child as a reflection on themselves, and to avoid the possibility that the child might fail at something, the parent takes over projects and tasks which the child is responsible for” (p. 964). Moreover, “the child then fails to develop a sense of self-based on their own abilities. The individual feels they do not deserve affirmation from other people, since they did not earn it” (p. 964). From the results, Want and Klietman found that self- handicapping was correlated with the impostor phenomenon due to a lack of self-worth.

In addition, they discovered that parenting styles were linked to self-handicapping and the impostor phenomenon. Students, who were raised by controlling and overprotective parents developed impostor feelings. Want and Klietman found that “overprotective fathers [paternal care] may have had a narcissistic involvement in his child’s achievements, and self-criticism imposed on themselves [child] by impostors may be an internalization of the parental desire for success” (p. 970). In addition, a lack of maternal care contributed to an increase self-handicapping feelings in the students, while provided minimal change to impostor feelings. The study concluded that impostor feelings were 26

triggered by overproteetive paternal care.

Furthermore, perfectionism, along side self-handicapping, is another area of literature that discusses the impostor phenomenon. In the study conducted by Dudau

(2014), she examined the association between perfectionism and the impostor phenomenon. In her study, she sampled 129 undergraduate students. In the study, she used the CIPS and the Perfectionism Inventory (PI), which measured two areas of perfectionism. The first area was conscientious perfectionism, which is defined by, “high standards from others, organizations, and striving for excellence” (p. 131). The second area that the PI examined was self-evaluative perfectionism, which was the “concern over mistakes, need for approval, parental pressure and rumination” (p. 131). She concluded that self-evaluative perfectionism had a positive association with the impostor phenomenon (p. 132). She found that impostors often sought validation from others, being highly sensitive to feedback, and dwelled on imperfect performances (p. 132).

Impostors as High Achievers

Scholars started to associate the impostor phenomenon with college students’ academic performance. One way that scholars conducted this association is through achievement. In 2005, Ferrari studied academic dishonesty and its association with the impostor phenomenon. He believed that impostors used self-handicapping as a way to prove to others that they did not deserve the success and thus commit academic dishonesty (Ferrari 2005, p. 12). Ferrari studied 124 college students using the CIPS and the Academic Practice Survey, which was a 24-item scale that measured plagiarism, 27

cheating, and student understanding. In the study, he found that impostors were less likely to use academic dishonesty to achieve (Ferrari 2005, p. 17) while nonimpostors cheated their way to the top. Ferrari (2005) concluded that impostors do not report that they commit academic dishonesty (p. 16).

In addition to academic dishonesty, some scholars examined how male and female students in education experience impostor phenomenon. One of the studies found that under the achievement goal theory, male and female students experienced the impostor fears in achieving success. Kumar and Jagacinski (2006) conducted a study on how the achievement goal theory was linked to the impostor phenomenon. The achievement goal theory “examines the effects of qualitatively different goals people adopt in achievement situations” (Kumar and Jagacinski 2006, p. 149). The achievement goal theory has three goals that can help show the connection with the impostor phenomenon. These goals are task-involving, ability-approach, and ability-avoid goals. Task-involving goal focused

“on learning and understanding the task, such task mastery is an end in itself’ (p. 149).

Ability approach goal objective was to compete and outperform other individuals (p.

149). Ability-avoid goals aimed to avoid “failure to others...[which] derive from an underlying fear of failure motive” (p. 150). They wanted to analyze how women and men develop the impostor phenomenon through the achievement goal theory by examining their achievement. They surveyed 135 psychology students with the CIPS, the Patterns of

Adaptive Learning Scales, which measured task, ability-approach, and ability-avoid goals of the Achievement Goal Theory, and the Dweck’s measurement of students’ intellectual 28

confidence. Lastly, they measured students’ test anxiety. The participants were placed into a group of 15 and completed a questionnaire packet. From the findings, both men and women develop impostor fears, such as anxiety, which impacted their intellectual confidence. Furthermore, women and men’s impostor fears lie within different achievement goals. Women’s impostor fears were associated with ability-approach goals while men’s impostor fears were associated with ability-avoid goals. The achievement goal theory had a positive association with ability-goal with low confidence and lack of intelligence (Want & Klietman).

Furthermore, some scholars conducted studies on high achieving females in education and how they developed the impostor phenomenon. The study from Gibson-

Beverely and Schwartz (2008) examined the association of attachment theory and entitlement with the impostor phenomenon. Attachment theory is defined as, “the way that early relationship with primary caregivers influence one’s emerging views of self and others (Gibson-Beverly & Schwartz 2008, p. 121). Entitlement examined how individual expects to be treated from others in society (p. 122). In their study, they studied 170 female graduate students using the CIPS. In addition they used Entitlement Attitude

Scale, which is a 17-item scale that measures entitlement. They used Experiences in

Close Relationships Scale, which is a 36-item scale that measured attachment. They found that students who have high levels of anxious attachment experienced the fear of failing and avoided evaluations due to the stress of meeting the expectations of their attachments (parents) (p. 128). They also found that individuals who have a narcissistic 29

sense of entitlement expected favors, manipulated others, and disregarded social standards (Gibson & Schwartz 2008). These narcissistic individuals cared little about others’ feelings and rights compared to individuals who nonnarcissistic individuals (p.

123). These performances could contribute to the development of mental health issues in impostors.

Psychological Distress of being an Impostor

In addition, the impostor phenomenon can cause mental health issues for individuals. Studies linked the impostor phenomenon to psychological distress (Peteet et. al 2014; Hennings et. al 1993, Thompson et. al 1998; Sonnak & Towell 2001; Ross et. al

2001; Bernard et. al 2001 McGregor et. al 2008; Legassie et. al 2008). Legassie et. al

(2008) conducted a study on the impostor phenomenon and bumingout syndrome. They defined bumingout syndrome as the feeling of being emotionally exhausted, depersonalization, and feeling inefficient (Legassie et. al 2008, p. 1090). They studied 48 medical residents using the CIPS and the Maslach Burnout Inventory (Human Services

Survey) (MBI-HSS), which is a 22-item questionnaire that measured three domains: emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and personal accomplishments (Legassie et. al

2008). They found that impostors felt the pressures from new challenges, expectations, and responsibilities that were placed onto them (p. 1093). They concluded that impostors experience psychological distress due to that lack of confidence and feeling inadequate medical doctors (p. 1093).

Furthermore, a study shows that there is an association between mental health 30

complications and the impostor phenomenon. The complications are: Depression, anxiety, and self-doubt (Cokley et. al 2013; Peteet et. al 2014; Hennings et. al 1993,

Thompson et. al 1998; Sonnak & Towell 2001; Ross et. al 2001; Bernard et. al 2002

McGregor et. al 2008; Legassie et. al 2008). McGregor et. al (2008) conducted a study examining the association between depression and the impostor phenomenon. They sampled 186 undergraduate students. They measured the experiences of these students by using the CIPS and the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI). McGregor et. al (2008) concluded that impostors struggled from depression. They believed that that their depression impeded on the success of impostors due to the frequent self-evaluation on their performances (p. 47). They concluded that some impostors’ thoughts may be linked to different symptoms of depression (p. 47).

Racialization and the Impostor Phenomenon

Two studies were conducted to see the association between racialization of students of color and the impostor phenomenon. Cokley et. al (2013) believed that people of color were susceptible to the impostor phenomenon, similar to the various studies conducted on middle- and upper-middle class professional white women (p. 85). They predicted that different minority groups experienced different levels of the impostor phenomenon. One of their predictions was the association that lower academic performance would develop the impostor phenomenon. Cokley et. al found that Asian

Americans (M=3.09) experience the impostor feelings more than African American

(M=2.56) and Latino/a American (M=2.80). They found that Asian Americans show 31

perfectionistic tendencies, dealing with academic stress from the model minority, and parental expectations. The model minority may in fact be highly associated with the impostor phenomenon because some Asian Americans felt that they did not have the intellectual abilities to fulfill this stereotype (Cokley et. al 2013).

Peteet et. al (2014) studied the association between African Americans and the impostor phenomenon. Their study examined the relationship between the impostor phenomenon and psychological distress and self-esteem issues within African American college students. They found that there was support for impostors developing low self­ esteem, psychological distress, and the impostor phenomenon. The feeling of being “the other” triggered impostor feelings because of its relation with self-esteem (Peteet et. al

2014). Their report supports other studies that show an association between mental health issues and the impostor phenomenon (Henning etl a. 1998; Ross et. al 2001; Bernard et. al 2002).

Overall, the impostor phenomenon can impact any situation. The impostor phenomenon can come from family, school and occupation. From the expectations that some impostors have to go through, they develop psychological distress and other feelings. They develop: depression, anxiety, self-doubt, guilt, feeling inadequate, and the feeling of being a perfectionist (Cokley et. al 2013; Peteet et. al 2014; Hennings et. al

1993, Thompson et. al 1998; Sonnak & Towell 2001; Ross et. al 2001; Bernard et. al

2002 McGregor et. al 2008; Legassie et. al 2008; Ferrari 2005; Ferarri & Thompson

2006; Dudau 2014). With these feelings, impostors are hindered from proceeding in life. 32

Some impostors may feel the pressure from their jobs, schools, or their family. They hide their mistakes by developing their impostor mask. This mask is used as tool of self- handicapping their abilities and persuade people that their success comes from luck. In the next section, the Asian American identity and the educational experiences of this group will be discussed.

The Formation o f Asian American Identity: Imperialism

Imperialism has an influential control in developing and weaker countries. Galtung

(1971) defined imperialism as, “the center nation has power over the periphery nation, so as to bring about conditions of disharmony of interest between them” (p. 83). He explained that imperialism has five different approaches: 1) economic, 2) political, 3) military, 4) Communication, and 5) cultural. Galtung defined economic imperialism as the exploitation of resources, either through looting or force (Galtung 1971). He defined political imperialism as, “The concept of a ‘mother’ country, a Center nation, is also an indication of how the decision-making center.. .these decisions may then affect economic, military, communication, and cultural patterns” (Galtung 1971, p. 91). Galtung described, “military imperialism as the extraction of resources from the periphery nation, who will need to be dependent on the center nation’s military” (Galtung 1971, p. 91).

Galtung defines communication imperialism as the “the nature of the division of labor in the field of communication.. .and developing the latest transportation and communication technology” (Galtung 1971, p. 92). Lastly, Galtung defined cultural imperialism as, “the division of labor between teachers and learners... [where] the center always provides the 33

teacher and the definition of that worthy of being taught.. .and the periphery always provides the learners” (Galtung 1971, p. 93). He claimed that through these five types of imperialism, disharmony was created between the center nation and the periphery nation through the domination of power (Galtung 1971, p. 81). He explained that through cultural imperialism causes the brain drain students and workers moved from their home country to the imperial country to gain benefits (Galtung 1971, pp. 93-94).

The United States imperialism has a long and detailed history that created the

Asian American identity. Espiritu (2014) argues that the United States imperialism has an important role in the formation of the Asian American experience. He focused on the relationships between the European powers (England, France, and Spain), the United

States, and Japan as the major imperial power throughout history and the Pacific region.

He used two key terms to help him analyze this experience, empire and inter-imperial conflict. Espiritu (2014) defined empire as:

“A state exceeding other states in size, scope, salience, and sense of task.’

Moreover, the ‘scope of the interests and involvements is coterminous with the boundaries of the system itself, rather than the narrower security zone or habitats.’ In addition, ‘no other state can ignore it,’ and ‘all other states...assess their position, role, and prospects more in relation to it than closer neighbors or to local conflicts’” (p. 239-

240).

According to Espiritu, inter-imperial conflict is defined as, “conflict [that] can encompass a wide range of actions—ideological conflict, propaganda, diplomatic 34

maneuvers, economic competition, territorial land grabs, acts of violence, espionage, military campaigns, and total war involving two antagonistic empires” (240). Espiritu argued that in order to understand Asian American history, Asian Americanists must analyze United States imperialism through the lens of inter-imperial conflict and see the country, not only as a superpower or nation-state, but as an empire. In addition, he argued that in order to fully comprehend how the Asian American lives are shaped, scholars must see the relations between different imperial powers and its relations to others imperial forces.

In addition to Espirtu’s work, Bascara (2006) analyzed the how the United States reemerged as an imperialistic nation through the use of Asian American cultural politics.

Bascara defined United States imperialism as:

“The ideologies and attendant discourse of how the United States imagined and

explained its varieties of growth. At times it alternately excused, glorified,

excoriated, bemoaned, self-pitied, and puzzled” (Bascara 2006, p. xxix).

According to Bascara (2006), the legacy of United States imperialism has been shaped through race, economics, and the beginnings the country’s empire ideologies.

Bascara used Asian American cultural politics, the emergence ofUnited States imperialism, and the unburdening of the empire to critique the United States’ imperialism

(Bascara 2006). Bascara also engaged these three themes to critique the United States’ contribution to globalization and multiculturalism (Bascara 2006). Bascara stated multiculturalism and globalization influenced United States imperialism to perform a 35

disappearing act, which takes the blame away from imperialism. In a way, he believed that Asian American cultural politics allowed critique on United States imperialism by

addressing institutions and hegemonic movements through Asian American class

formation, racialization, and history (Bascara 2006).

The Formation o f the Asian American Identity: Whiteness

Whiteness shapes the formation of Asian American identity. Whiteness is an

important concept in Asian American identity due to its role in maintaining hierarchy within education (Lee 2009, p. 98) through expectations and standards (Weilbacher

2012). Whiteness was defined as the concept of gaining access to a set of public and private privileges that can protect white individuals from hostility, distress, and violence through affirmed laws (Harris 1993; McIntosh 1988). According to Gillbom (2005), whiteness was developed through the experience of white individuals through structured

supremacist assumptions, which labeled people of color as biologically and culturally inferior (p. 490).

Through whiteness, Gary Weilbacher, an associate professor of curriculum and instruction, believed that whiteness is the standard that students must meet. His article, although a critique, engaged critical race theory as well as the understanding of whiteness in education. He used whiteness to explain that the United States has developed the educational standards through corporate America’s profits from test prep, exams, and educational programs (Weilbacher 2012, p. 2). Weilbacher analyzed whiteness through the transformation of the United States’ education to standardization. He explains that 36

accountability is a way that teachers are being pressured to teach students to meet the set

standards (Weilbacher 2012, p. 3). He explained that through the lack of culturally

responsive teachers, whiteness continues to be the set standard in the United States (p. 2).

White Supremacy

According to Gillbom (2006), white supremacy is the “political, economic, and

cultural system in which whites overwhelmingly control power and material resources,

conscious and unconscious ideas of white superiority and entitlement.. .of white

dominant and non-white subordination are reenacted across a broad array of institutions

and social settings.” (p. 320) White supremacy was perpetuated through two different

examples: racial grammar (Bonilla-Silva 2012) and walls of whiteness. In the Bonnila-

Silva (2012) article, racial grammar was used as a way to maintain white supremacy

through media. Racial grammar is the “cognition, vision and feelings of racial

matters... that normalizes the standards of white supremacy as the standards of social

events and transactions” through racial hegemonic domination (Bonilla-Silva 2012, p.

173). Racial grammar is used as a way to maintain racial order and to limit, or exclude,

racism as social phenomena (p. 174). Racial grammar continued to normalize perception

of people of color as it may affect their self-image (body, hair, skin color) to become

lighter (Bonilla-Silva 2012, p. 186).

In addition to racial grammar, from Brunsma et. al (2012) found another way that white supremacy was maintained was through the historically white colleges and universities (HWCU). In the article, they analyzed the reproduction of white supremacy 37

through the walls of whiteness. The researchers define wall of whiteness as the, “walls— protecting them [white students] from attacks on white supremacy—that have multiple layers and therefore are even more difficult to penetrate,” (Brunsma et. al 2012, p. 717).

In this study, they examined white supremacy through three different concepts: spatial wall, curricular wall, and ideological wall. Spatial Wall refers to the separation of white and non-white students in HWCU (p. 721). Curricular walls refers to the social life on campus, and hidden symbols and rules that teach students about cultural capital, which are often excluded or ignored (p. 725). Lastly, the ideological wall refers to scholarships that mainstream white supremacy through racialized systems, (p. 728) Educational institutions are reproducing and are acting upon white supremacy through their policies

(Bonilla-Silva 2012; Gillbom 2005).

In addition to Gillbon, Smith (2006) argued that white supremacy was the result of three frameworks: slavery (capitalism), genocide (colonialism), and orientalism (war).

She examined that these pillars have affected people of color in the United States.

Through capitalism, white supremacy treats African Americans as slaveable commodities that enforce a racial hierarchy in society (pg. 67). Smith explained white supremacy allows individuals to become owners of land and resources from disappearing population

(pg. 68). Orientalism and the justification for war enabled the United States to treat people as inferior and threats to the country (pg. 68).

The United States’ imperialism shaped the experiences of Asian Americans. Asian

American identity is shaped through the United States’ agenda of imperialism. 38

Imperialism caused whiteness and white supremacy to exist by allowing these concepts to be excused in society. From imperialism, whiteness is developed as a way to maintain a hierarchy among people of color. Whiteness is used as a tool to maintain the power structure of the dominant group by creating assumptions of superiority. The idea of imperialism and whiteness maintains white supremacy ideals through racial grammar and walls of whiteness. Racial grammar allows the media to control the way Asian Americans are perceived as the model minority reinforcing the stereotype in schools. The walls of whiteness allow the dominant group to ignore the racial inequities that Asian Americans may be experiencing thus, creating the idea that Asian Americans identity revolves around the model minority. Through white supremacy, the United States’ culture is allowed to view Asian Americans as different, and as threats to the country by using the model minority to separate Asians and other people of color. The Asian American identity is formed and perpetuated through the ignoring of such the racial experiences, whiteness, and white supremacy. Imperialism has influenced this formation as it allowed the construction of the racial hierarchy. In the next section, the Asian American achievement will be analyzed.

Asian Americans Achievement in Education As the Model Minority

Asian Americans are one of the highest student populations to enter college.

According to Maxwell’s article (2007), 4.2 percent of Asian Americans enroll into a university or college (Maxwell 2007). Throughout the University of California (UC) system, people see Asian Americans as “overrepresented” in different universities 39

(Maxwell 2007). People believe that within public education, Asian American culture benefits Asian Americans the most compared to the other racial groups. Asian Americans and their families see education as a way to gain social mobility and achieve the

American Dream (Maxwell 2007; Samura 2010). However, there are some Asian ethnic groups that do struggle to get into higher education (Lee 2010).

In contrast to “overrepresentation,” Terranishi (2010) explored Asian American achievement in higher education. In the literature he provided, he problematized the treatment of Asian Americans and Pacific Islander (AAPIs) in the education system

(Terranishi 2010). He explained that because of the model minority stereotype, Asian

American challenges were often overlooked by researchers, policy writers, and educators

(p. 2). He conducted research using both data analysis and personal narratives to explore the experiences of Asian American students and provided data from different organizations such as the United States Census, National Center of Education Statistics

(NCES), and the California Basic Educational Data System (CBEDS). From these organizations, he provided the bigger picture of AAPI experiences in the United States

(Terranishi 2010). From the personal stories, he sought to provide a voice of AAPIs and their experiences within the education system (Terranishi 2010). From his research, he found that some AAPIs experience many obstacles, including poverty, language barrier, and limited access to social capital. He found that Southeast Asian and South East Asian

American (Vietnamese, Hmong, Cambodian, Laotian, and Thai) faced higher language barriers and poverty levels (Terranishi 2010, p. 137). He explained that from parental 40

education levels, these issues were linked to lack of cultural capital, where some AAPIs had little to no cultural knowledge (Terranishi 2010). Terranishi provided an understanding of the experiences of struggling AAPIs and recommended that schools should hire AAPI educators and leaders to have role models in order to increase retention within the education system (p. 149).

From the literature provided by Terranishi, further studies were conducted on

Asian Americans and the achievement gap within education, especially in the sub Asian ethnic groups. Pang et al (2011) explained that new Asian Americans, such as Samoan

Americans, experience the achievement gap. Pang et al studied Chinese American and

Samoan American students and their achievements within the public school system compared to white students (Pang et al, 2011, p. 380). In their conclusion of the research, they found that Samoan Americans have a lower achievement rate compared to Chinese

Americans and white students, while Chinese American students scored higher than white students (p. 385). Because Asian ethnic groups were all lumped together, creating a homogenous population of Asian Americans, the lower achievement rate of groups such as Samoan Americans are obscured by the higher rates of groups such as Chinese

Americans. As a result, Asian ethnic groups have a higher achievement gap and were less likely to go onto higher education (p. 386). This is directly related to Asian Americans going onto higher education because of the low achievements of sub Asian groups. With the lack of representation of these groups, some Southeast Asians and Pacific Islanders students are less likely to think of higher education (Pang et. al 2011). 41

According Henfield et. al (2014), there was a misunderstanding about Asian

Americans in education. The purpose of the study was to observe Asian Americans students’ experiences in honor and collegiate programs. They examined each student’s experiences in the programs, the resources that the students are given, their ethnic identity, their aspirations, their label of gifted students, and their needs and hopes

(Henfield et al, 2014, p. 137). Based on the model minority stereotype, society labeled

Asian Americans as successful, regardless of their parents’ educations, and gifted students because Asian Americans students earned the more advanced degrees than other racial groups (Heinfield et. al 2014; Terranishi 2010; Lee 2009). Their study examined

Asian Americans and gifted students and found that Asian Americans suffer from external and internal stress to achieve academically. They focused on high-achieving

Asian Americans, who are enrolled in undergraduate honor classes that are in White institutions in the Midwest (Henfield et al, 2014 p. 145). They report that whereas gifted students have low social interactions with other people, Asian Americans sacrifice their social lives in order to become competitive with other students (Henfield et al, 2014, p. 145).

Family Expectations

Family expectations shape the way that Asian Americans children set goals in education. Education became an important role in many Asian American students’ lives where it has become a way to their parents’ happiness. With these high standards, Asian

Americans were placed into a position where they must not fail. With a four-year 42

university becoming a social norm for the upcoming generation, students are now looking to these universities for social mobility. Goyette (2008) stated that during the 2007

Democratic presidential nomination, there had been a significant emphasis on education and that college is for everyone. More and more students pursued a bachelor degree for their future occupations (Goyette, 2008, p. 462). With socioeconomic status, which indirectly influences students’ educational expectations, can directly impact students’ performance. Students who come from a lower socioeconomic status perform worse and receive lower test scores and grades, compared to students who come from a higher socioeconomic status family. However, for Asian Americans, there is a greater expectation from their family to achieve a higher education. According to Xie et al

(2003), Asian Americans believed that achieving higher education symbolized honor and mobility. Asian Americans were more likely to pick an occupation that they could use to cope with discrimination and other disadvantages through achieving credentials (Xie et. al (2003). Asian Americans were more attracted to the degrees that would allow them to earn the most money.. Through U.S racialization of minority groups, Asian Americans were seen as individuals whose culture values education (Xie et al, 2003, p. 470).

Through this study, themes of culture, structure, marginality, and adaptation were applied to understand Asian American expectations. Through structure, first generation Asian

Americans are occupying low-wage labor. Through marginality, Asian Americans are split between cultures, where they have to choose between the United States’ culture and their parents. Adaptation combined structure and marginality that would account for their 43

expectations. Thus, Asian American youth place a significant amount of effort into education as a way to move their families up the social ladder (Xie et al, 2003, p. 470).

According to Saw et al (2011), Asian American familial values emphasize that children must live up to their parents’ expectations. This study focused on the perception of meeting parental expectations in White American families versus Asian American families. Through the ethnic differences, they emphasized (1) the frequency of worry in school and family, (2) and worry as a global tendency (p. 189). They use these goals to predict that Asian Americans will experience higher levels of parental expectations and worrying (p. 189). Saw et. al (2011) used the theory of self-discrepancy, which was the relation between the way that one actually acted, ought to act, and the way that the individual believe they should act (p. 188). These themes reflect on how the individual represents emotions because of the fear that they are not living up to some expectation and the fear of punishment (p. 188). The study examined 836 Asian American and 856

White American college students. In this study, they predicted that Asian Americans might show extreme levels of worry compared to other races (p. 187). The link between personal standards and living up to family standards contributes to some cases of extreme worrying among Asian American college students (p. 188). Some Asian Americans have expressed that they felt pressure from expectations due to their cultural values (p. 188).).

Through their analysis, they found that Asian Americans did experience more worry in school and family compared to white Americans (p. 197). Although they may have different experiences, they had similar worries when it came to global tendencies (p. 44

198).

Similarly, Dundes et al (2009) discussed Confucian values having significant influence on Asian Americans and education. These values emphasized two dichotomies: happiness and honor. For some Asian American parents who are low-income, uneducated, and working low-skilled jobs, the expectation for Asian American children to succeed in academia was greatly important (p. 136). The parents constantly reinforced the idea of achieving academically in order to bring the family honor (p. 136). In this study, they compared Asian Americans and White students in regards to parental demands when it comes to education choices and parental influences on academic success. This study measured happiness by concluding that mothers had an important role in their children’s choices of school, which correlated happiness to both Asian American and white students. 68% of white students ranked happiness for their education choice while 28% of Asian Americans chose happiness for their education (p. 139). Within the

United States, whereas happiness was emphasized more than success, Asian parents constantly reminded their children about the sacrifices that they made in order to for their children to gain an education. Furthermore, by encouraging competition, Asian parents believed that it would bring out the best characteristics for their children (p. 147). For

Asian Americans, happiness was seen through living their parents’ dreams and the sacrifices to give their family mobility.

The Model Minority

The model minority stereotype is essential to the Asian American identity and 45

achievement. The model minority is a stereotype that labels Asian Americans as

successful, hard working, quiet, self-motivated and able to achieve success, overcoming

any challenges of discrimination (Ngo & Lee 2007; Lee 2009; Park 2010; Trytten, Lowe,

& Walden 2012; Henfield, Woo, Lin, & Rausch 2014). Lee (2009) conducted an intense

research on how the model minority stereotype impacts Asian and Asian American

students in school. In her study, she split different Asian groups into four identities,

Korean-identified, Asian-identified, New-wave Asian students, and Asian American

students. She analyzed the relationships of the Asian and Asian American students with

other students, teachers, and administration. In addition, Lee explained that the model

minority stereotype was used as a hegemonic device to maintain white dominance in the

racial hierarchy by setting expectations and behaviors of how minorities should act (Lee

2009, p. 7). According to Lee (2009), the model minority puts the Asian American as the

example of meritocracy (p. 8). With this stereotype, and the idea that Asian Americans

were innately successful or were able to overcome adversities without help, the model

minority placed Asian Americans into a position where they were excluded from support

(Lee 2009, p. 8). This generalization lumped all Asian and Asian Americans together into

one category by non-Asians (Lee 2009, p. 120). Furthermore, Lee explained (2009) that

this lumping ignored the different barriers, such as poverty and less access in navigating the education system (p. 14). In addition, Lee (2009) argued that the model minority

stereotype reinforced the United States racial hierarchy and puts the attention on other

ethnic minority students while taking the attention off of white privilege (p. 106). Also, 46

the model minority stereotype creates an environment of competition where Asian

Americans are the targets of jealousy from other students of color. Lee (2009) explained that, “Asian Americans are used to blam[ing] victims (i.e. African Americans) for their problems. Thus whiteness is erased, and people of color are left to fight among themselves” (p. 106). The model minority stereotype protects the interests of one group and while others were pitted against each other (Lee 2009, p. 9).

The Effects o f the Model Minority

According to Park (2010), the model minority stereotype has negative effects on

Asian American students in schools (Park 2010, p. 620). In his study, he conducted an ethnographic study and in-depth interviews with 22 Korean immigrant students. Park

(2010) explained that Korean immigrant students believed that becoming the model minority was a coping mechanism for the marginalization and discrimination with the racial hierarchy in the public school system (p. 628). He discussed that the Korean students were using the model minority as a way to acculturate into the United States

(Park 2010). In a way, the Korean students used the model minority as a way to gain the honorary status from white students (p. 623). The model minority stereotype, not only impacted Asian American students, but also adversely affected other students, because students who do not meet the standards were blamed for their individual fault rather than addressing the issue of competition roused by racial stratification (p. 621). Furthermore,

Park explained (2010) that the model minority divides Asian Americans between the

“good”, who were able to live up to the expectations, while the “bad,” who do not, cannot 47

live up to the image, (p. 622) In this study, the Korean students believe that in order to become “good” Asians, they must adjust to the model minority and become honorary whites (Park 2010, p. 622). At the end of his study, Park (2010) concluded that Asian

Americans embraced the model minority stereotype to be portrayed as honorary whites in order to become real Americans, however, this continued to perpetuate Asian American students as outsiders, (p. 631)

Because the model minority stereotype lumps together all Asian Americans, sub

Asian ethnic groups are obscured by the false image of success. According to Ngo et. al

(2007), the model minority sends out a message that the Asian Americans have achieved success and the American Dream (Ngo et. al 2007; Lee 2009; Park 2010; Terranishi

2010). Ngo et. al (2007) explored the struggles for Southeast Asians examining how new

Asian groups, such as Vietnamese, Cambodians, Hmong, and Laos, struggle between fitting and failing to fulfill the expectations of the model minority. Ngo et. al (2007) believed that the model minority stereotype is a tool that is used to silence and control

Asian Americans and also other racial groups (Ngo et al, 2007, p. 416). The model minority failed to take into account incoming refugee waves and their experiences, where overtly played a significant factor in these ethnic groups’ success (Ngo et al, 2007, p.

419). With socioeconomic statuses being a contributing factor, the model minority over looked this struggle for the new incoming Asian group. Within these ethnic groups, dropout rates of Vietnamese, Cambodians, Hmong, and Laos are higher than other Asian groups, score lower on standardized tests, and have lower grade point averages, (p. 432) 48

According to the 2000 census, 52% of Cambodians, 59% of Hmong, 49% of Laos, and

38% of Vietnamese Americans have less than a high school education (Ngo et al, 2007, p. 419). From their research, they concluded that the model minority hid the variations of academic attainment and achievement between Asian ethnic groups (p. 439). For these new Asian immigrants, their families were dependent on the success of their children.

Similarly, Wing (2007) conducted a study on the model minority and how it caused Asian Americans to feel invisible. From her studies within the Bay Area, she found that some aspects of the Asian American experience were ignored. Asian

Americans quickly earned the title of overachievers because they were entering top schools (p. 460). However, due to the success of Asian Americans, the model minority quickly started to hide the obstacles of some low income Asian Americans (Wing 2007,

Ngo et. al 2007; Lee 2009; Terranishi 2010; Park 2010). She interviewed six Asian

American high school students to understand the impact of the model minority. She found that some high school students believed that Asian students were high achievers, excelled in math, carried strong family values in education, shared similar traditions and culture, and did not suffer from racial discrimination compared to other students of color

(Wing 2007). From this experience, she found that the interviewees were dealing with obstacles due to cultural conflicts, experiences, and their views on their opportunities

(Wing 2007). With other people who believed that Asian Americans are “voluntary” minorities, she argued that researchers were unable to explain the low achievements of some Asian Americans (Wing 2007, p. 476). Wing (2007) and argued that educators, 49

administrators, and other public institutions have to realize that some Asian Americans students need great support.

According to Henfield et al (2014), the model minority stereotype caused poor well-being and psychological distress for Asian Americans (p. 138). In their study, their participants are high-achieving Asian American students enrolled in honor classes. They interviewed the students and measured their experience through six different categories: experiences in honors program, resources, perception of ethnic identity, career aspiration, suggestions for gifted students programs, and needs and hopes. For Asian American participants, they had parents that placed high standards in high school and an emphasis in pursuing a career in medicine, engineering, biology, or business (Henfield et. al 2014, p. 139). The model minority stereotype impeded Asian American students from being socially active because of the stress and pressure (p. 142).

According to Trytten et. al (2012), the model minority controlled how other racial groups behaved (p. 461). The authors studied how the model minority impacted Asian

Americans within the engineering field. In their study, they used six different facets of the model minority: extremely intelligent, hard working (good work ethics), high economic attainment and goals, seeking educational prestige, and not complaining about racial issues and problems (Trytten et. all 2012, p. xxx). They examined how these facets upheld a hegemonic control over Asian American students. The authors also used critical race and cultural theory to examine these facets. Their participants were primarily Asian

American students in the engineering field. They analyzed the students’ transcripts, 50

conducted surveys, and interviewed 159 students of the 227 participants. They found that the participants are more likely to be associated with hard work that is linked to their race and how these hard working ethics fit more into the U.S culture. (Trytten et. al 2012, p.

451) The participants stated, “white people are willing to accept mediocrity, while

Asian/Asian Americans are driven to excel... and are willing to sacrifice sleep and social activities to excel” (Trytten et. al 2012, p. 451). Thus, the model minority stereotype created a negative impact of Asian and Asian American students because of how these students were pressured into engineering careers from society (p. 458).

The model minority stereotype impacts Asian American students because of their success in higher education. However, some Asian American students cannot meet this standard. For those who cannot meet the standards, they are seen as different from the other Asian American students. The model minority continues to enforce the impostor phenomenon because Asian Americans internalize the difficulties of feeling incompetent if they are seen as the failures. This stereotype has consequential effects on Asian

Americans and their achievement. From the facets of the model minority continues to place pressure on Asian Americans to strive to be successful. For those who do not succeed, they are often seen as “bad” Asians and for those who do want to fulfill such stereotypes are seen as the “good” Asians and honorary whites. The model minority is a constant reminder of microaggressions and stereotype threats of Asian American achievement and success. In the next section, we will be analyzing racial microaggressions and stereotype threat. 51

Racial Microaggressions and Stereotype Threat Effects on Mental Health

Although the United States sees success within Asian American population, Asian

Americans face racial aggressions from other racial groups. These racial aggressions may label or deduce the Asian American experience. These labels further develop into the stereotypes such as the model minority and perpetuate a stereotyped threat. These stereotypes impact Asian Americans because of how they are seen within schools. This section, will analyze how racial microaggressions impact Asian Americans in education.

Racial Microaggressions

Racial microaggressions are statements and behaviors that send negative messages to people of color (Sue et. al 2007; Nadal 2011). Nadal (2011) explained that race has a dire impact on people of color, as it will impact mental and physical health, self-esteem, self-efficiency, and performance (p.471). Although individuals may state that they are not racist, they may unconsciously express racial messages (p. 470). He addressed themes such as the “Alien in One’s Own Land”, which is the idea that minorities are foreign; the

“Assumption of Criminality,” which is the idea that minorities are criminals; the

“Second-Class Citizen,” when people of color receive lower standard service compared to Whites; the “Ascription of Intelligence,” which views minorities as less educated or received a lower education; the “Assumption of Inferiority,” which assumes that minorities hold lower standard jobs; the idea of “Colorblindness,” where individuals claim that they do not see race; and the “Denial of Racial Reality”, which is the act of denying that the individual is racist (p. 471). These themes were related to the idea of 52

racial microaggressions. He used REMS, Racial and Ethnic Microaggressions Scale, to conduct research in regards to experiences of racial microaggressions for people of color.

He conducted two studies, which he calls, Principal Components Analysis and Initial

Reliability and Validity, which measure the degree of microaggressions. The results of his study showed that there were 45 microaggressions that fit into the six themes (p. 477).

His study concluded His study concluded understanding the experiences of individuals that suffer from racial microaggressions was difficult and complex (Nadal 2011).

Alvarez et. al (2006) conducted another research on the impacts of the model minority on Asian Americans. Studies have shown that racism can cause psychological problems for people of color (U.S Department of Health and Human Services, 2001).

Alvarez et. al (2006) explained from other research that people color experience six different types of racial stress: life stress (housing, education, occupation); blatant racism; microaggressions; inadequate living conditions and limited access to resources; understanding the consequences of racism; and historical racism (See Harrell 2000 in

Alvarez et. al 2006). They analyzed the effects of racism on Asian Americans through racial identity theory, which is defined as, “the individual's’ intrapsychic and interpersonal reactions to societal racism” (p. 479). In this study, they examined 154 college students with the People of Color Racial Identity Attitude Scale, which measured the responses of people of color to different racial statements. They found that age, socioeconomic status, sex, and ethnicity contributed to an individual’s perception of racism (p. 484). They argued that racism is significant to the Asian American experience 53

however, they found that there was no correlation between Asian Americans and racial stress while taking ethnic studies courses (p. 488).

Alvarez and Shin (2013) also examined the impact of racial microaggressions on the mental health of Asian Americans. Alvarez and Shin (2013) argued that racism and racial discrimination induce stress in people of color. They found that age, gender, socioeconomic status, and educational level contribute to racial stressors in Asian

Americans (p. 159). They argued that racism contributed to the development of different psychological distress, depression, anxiety, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

(Alvarez & Shin 2013, p. 160). Asian Americans that have experienced racial discrimination experience a higher level of depression than others who did not (Alvarez

& Shin 2013, p. 160). Alvarez and Shin (2013) explained that children and adolescents were at a higher risk of developing low-esteem due to racial discrimination (p. 162). In addition, they found that racial microaggressions could lead to poor physical and mental health (Alvarez & Shin 2013). They argued that social support allowed individuals to cope with high levels of psychological stress (p. 166).

Stereotype Threat

These microaggressions are results of stereotype threat. Stereotype threat is defined as, “the threat of being viewed through the lens of a negative stereotype, or the fear of doing something that would inadvertently confirm that stereotype” (Steele 2003;

Johnson-Alhorlu 2012). Steele (2010) explained that stereotype threat harms students’ academic performance through identity threat. Steele defined identity threat as, “the 54

subset of identity contingencies that actually threat[en] the person in some way—is a primary way by which an identity takes hold.. .in sense of shaping how we function and even in telling us that we have particular identity” (Steele 2010, p. 71). Identity threat is influenced through identity contingencies, which is a given social identity in a certain circumstance in order to gain through the situation and circumstance (Steele 2010, p. 3).

Through his research, he studied the outcomes of stereotype threat on African American students in high school and at the college level. He used the Scholastic Aptitude Tests

(SATs) and Graduate Record Exams (GREs) to evaluate students’ academic performance. Through these exams, he and other researchers have conducted a comparison between White, Asian, Latino, and African American students. In their research, they adopted different situations for their participants. Steele (2010) explained that,

The psyche of individual blacks gets damaged, the idea goes, by bad images of the group projected in society—images of blacks as aggressive, as less intelligent, and so on. Repeated exposure to these images causes these images to be ‘internalized,’ implicitly accepted as true of the group, and tragically, also perhaps one’s self. This internalization damages ‘character’ by causing low self-esteem, low expectations, low motivation, self-doubt, and causing the like. And in turn, this damage contributes to a host of bad things such as high unemployment, poor marriage success, low education achievement, and criminality (p. 46).

In addition, Steele (2010) discovered that, “if simply sitting down to take a difficult test of ability was enough to make black students mindful of stereotypes of their race, these students might complete more fragments with stereotype-related words than when they were told the test was not a measure of ability” (p. 53). Through his research, 55

Steele found that some people strive to disprove such stereotypes through a term called over-effort (p. 107). Stereotype threat places pressure on students to not conform to society’s stereotype (p. 107). This leads to stress and distraction in academic performance for students due to the amount of effort placed to dismantle stereotypes that is associated to different racial groups (p. 111).

Another study was conducted to see how stereotype threat might impact African

Americans. Johnson-Alhorlu article (2012) discussed the effects of stereotype threat of

African American undergraduate students. In the article, she discussed how stereotype threat had caused impairment on students’ academic performances, such as memory and the ability to remember simple tasks (Johnson-Alhorlu 2012). African American students stated that they were often looked down on because of their race (p. 388). From these stereotypes, students were consistently pressured or suffer from anxiety. When facing stereotype threats, students believed that they were inferior and believed they did not belong in a university. Johnson-Arhoulu (2012) explained that stereotypes and stereotype threats have a dire consequence to African American students.

In addition to Johnson-Alhorlu, a study was conducted on African American and

Latino/a students in scientific fields. Woodcock et. al (2012) discussed stereotype threat’s impact on an individual. From the article, they created the concept of domain disidentification. Woodcock et. al (2012) explained that domain disidentification was the social identity that is reduced in society (Woodcock et al 2012, p. 636). They studied

1,420 African American and Latino students, who are high achieving within the science 56

fields. They measured stereotype threat impacts on disidentification through three methods: Stereotype Vulnerability Scale (SVS), which examines the impact of stereotype threat; Scientific Identification, measured disidentification in the science field; and the persistence in the science field, which was a scale that measured pursuit in the field.

Their study lasted for three years to measure how stereotype threat affects students over time. Their results showed that there is minimal effects of stereotype threat on disidentification in samples’ pursuit in the science field (Woodcock et al 2012, p. 642).

They saw that the African Americans sample experienced more stereotype threat during their first year in the science field and whereas stereotype threat has a negative impact on different races and ethnicities, it has a significant impact on the Latino/a population (p.

642). Woodcock et. al explained that the research on stereotype threat must be explored further in other fields.

Racial microaggressions and stereotype threat can affect all groups’ academic performances. Asian Americans experience racial microaggressions because of their skewed sense of belonging that is shaped by the perpetual foreigner. However, with the creation of the model minority stereotype, Asian Americans are given statements that question their abilities in academia, where one may not succeed to their environments standards. This leads to the development of stereotype threat that hinders academic performance. Stereotype threat may be different for Asian Americans because of the model minority. Being seen as a positive stereotype to others, Asian ethnic groups may have to accomplish the stereotype, fulfilling the threat. For Asian Americans who do not 57

fulfill the model minority characteristics, some may develop the impostor feelings of the

fear of failure.

Conclusion

Based on the 2010 U.S Census, Asian Americans are currently one of the highest

achieving racial groups within the United States compared to other groups (US Census

2010). Despite such success, there is minimal research that has been done on the impostor

phenomenon and its impact on Asian Americans students and academic performance.

Research has shown that the impostor phenomenon impacts the confidence of students

through achievement goal theory and self-handicapping. Scholars also have shown how

stereotype threat and racial microaggressionimpact the academic performances of

different racial groups. Finally, there has been research done on the model minority

stereotype and how it negatively affects Asian ethnic groups. However studies done on

stereotype threat and racial microaggressions focus on the white and black binary.

A majority of the studies that are done on the impostor phenomenon are focused

on gender. While it is important to address how the impostor phenomenon impacts

gender, race continues to be ignored from this conversation. The studies on the impostor

phenomenon primarily focused on white people as their topic. From the literature above,

there has been minimal research done on the association between race and the impostor

phenomenon. Only two studies had a focus on the discussion of how people of color

experience the impostor phenomenon. This thesis aims to fill the literature gap on

racialization and the impostor phenomenon. This thesis aims to add onto the body of 58

literature that has been done on Asian American education and psychology. The next chapter, will discuss the methods of this study. 59

Chapter 3: Methodology

From the literature review discussed in Chapter Two, there are many studies that have been done on the impostor phenomenon in the past 20 years (King & Cooley 1995;

Thompson et. al 1998, 2000; Sonnak & Towell 2001; Castro et. al 2004; Ferrari 2005;

Ferrari & Thompson 2006; Kumar and Jagacinski 2006; Gibson-Beverly & Schwartz

2008; McGregor et. al 2008; Cokley et. al 2013; Peteet et. al 2014). These studies that primarily focused on the academic performance and psychological distress of male and female students. However, race is often excluded from the discussion of the impostor phenomenon. The sample populations from these studies are primarily white students, while students of color are often left out. Asian Americans are one of these groups. With the academic success of Asian Americans, their problems and stress are often overlooked because of the model minority stereotype.

This study serves to connect both of these concepts because it provides awareness to an experience that is ignored due to the racialization of Asian Americans. The overall objective of this study is to understand how the impostor phenomenon impacts Asian

Americans college students in education. My research questions consist of the following:

• How do Asian Americans college students experience the impostor’s

phenomenon?

o What are the impostor characteristics that Asian Americans experience?

o Is there an association between experiences of racialization and the

impostor phenomenon? 60

• How does the raeialization, in particular the model minority, impact how Asian

American college students have and are currently experiencing the impostor

phenomenon?

o What have been the experiences of Asian American college students and

raeialization in their K-12 studies?

o What have been the experiences of Asian American college students and

raeialization as the model minority in college?

• How do family expectations factor in the development of the impostor

phenomenon in Asian American college students?

• How do Asian American college students cope with the impostor phenomenon?

This chapter covers the purpose of the study, the methods, and both quantitative and qualitative research. The chapter also covers the procedures of recruiting participants, steps of conducting the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Survey, and conducting in-depth interviews, in order to obtain my data. Finally, the chapter addresses the limitations of the study.

Rationale for Approach

More than twenty studies have used the quantitative approach in studying the impostor phenomenon. These studies show that the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale

(CIPS) is an effective way of determining one’s impostor feelings. The study conducted by Holmes et. al (1993) concluded that the CIPS had reliable outcomes because of the sensitivity of responses. I choose to use CIPS because of the reliability to produce 61

accurate impostor scores. CIPS will also help me determine which characteristics Asian

American college students are experiencing.

In addition, there is minimal research that has been done on connecting both the quantitative and qualitative approaches in understanding the experiences of individuals and the impostor phenomenon. From the quantitative approach, there is an understanding of how the impostor phenomenon impacts an overall population of individuals. Using qualitative and personal stories allows people to relate and reflect on their own personal experiences (Clance & Imes 1978; Clance & O’Toole 1988; Clance 1985). For this study, using both the quantitative and qualitative methods can address how Asian American college students are impacted by the impostor phenomenon. This study serves to be a medium in finding a way to address and cope with various impostor feelings.

The use of the quantitative and qualitative approach allows Asian American

Studies scholars to understand the experiences of Asian Americans in multiple ways.

Using both quantitative and qualitative research allows both a basic understanding of the demographics of the population that is being studied and provides a voice to the demographic (Kwon 2009; Samura 2010; Terranishi; Trytten et. al 2012; Jo 2012). The blend of both quantitative and qualitative research allows a complete understanding of how a population is being impacted by a phenomena and a perspective of how individuals may be experiencing it.

Furthermore using a mixture of both methods provides two different perspectives about the impostor phenomenon. Quantitative research provides a demographic snapshot 62

of who are the impostors and the characteristics prevalent in the sample. As a result, I decided to use the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Survey (CIPS) and 10 in-depth interviews. The CIPS provides general empirical evidence of how and which feelings an individual is experiencing. I used in-depth interviews because it provides a voice for the empirical data. Interviews provided a clear understanding of where the origins, contributing factors, and coping mechanisms that participants used to cope with their impostor feelings. Using these two methods provided me an understanding of how individuals share similar stories of developing impostor feelings.

Participant Selection

For this research, I surveyed 173 San Francisco State University students from different Asian American Studies classes, students from all different disciplines register for these classes for their general requirements. In order to part take in they survey, the students must identify as Asian American and must be 18 years or older. I used the

Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale (CIPS) and two statements associated with being

Asian American, which helped put a value on how the impostor phenomenon had impacted the participants’ life.

In addition, I conducted 10 interviews with Asian American college students from different disciplines to understand the experiences associated with feelings of being an impostor. In order to qualify to take part in the study, participants must be Asian

American, upper division and/or post bachelor degree students, be between the ages of 20 to 40, and be enrolled or have taken at least one Asian American Studies course. The ages 63

of 20 to 40 was chosen because many in this age group experienced some kind of

impostor feelings due to decision-making (Clance 1985) Clance explained that students

experience the impostor phenomenon more than nonstudents because of the stress and

expectations from school and other pressures.

I interviewed ten Asian Americans from San Francisco State University to

understand how the impostor phenomenon may have impacted their lives. There will be

an equal balance of males and females. From the research that has been done, both male

and females may experience different types of impostor feelings (Lapp-Rincker 2003;

Kumar & Jagacinski, 2006; Legassie et. al 2008). I chose to do in-depth interviews as a

supplement to the scales that students took. The interviews gave a personal narrative

about how the students have developed their impostor feelings, particularly about how

they doubted their own abilities, where expectations came from, and how they overcame

their fears of failure. The scale can provide a minimal amount of detail to how someone

is impacted by the impostor phenomenon. Through the interviews, it allowed me to fully

understand where these feelings were developed. For confidentiality, all the names that I

used in the qualitative analysis are pseudo-names.

Measures

In the research, I used the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale (CIPS), which is a

20-statement scale that has values 1 to 5, 1 (not true at all) to 5 (Very true). A sample

statement from the scale is, “I often compare my ability to those around me and think

they maybe more intelligent than I am” (CIPS, Clance 1985). This statement is used to 64

analyze self-doubt and ability. The survey was conducted in different Asian American

Studies classes where many students were from a variety of majors. The participants had to complete the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale. Other statements in the scale were used to measure doubt, ability, and a sense of failure. The total score that an individual can receive is from 20-100. In addition to the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale, two additional statements were added to measure how Asian American students experience racialization. A sample statement is, “I believe that people think I am smarter than I really am because I am Asian American.” These studies are formulated from other studies that looked at the model minority stereotype and assumptions of Asian Americans (Lee

2009; Teranishi 2010; Jo 2012; Samura 2010; Kwon 2009) These two statements are deducted from their scores.

Other researchers have used the CIPS to understand how other people have dealt with the impostor phenomenon. Many of the researchers have connected the impostor phenomenon with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression (Ross et. al 2001;

Bernard et. al 2002; Oriel et. al 2004; Ferrari 2005; Ferrari & Thompson 2006; Kumar &

Jagacinski 2006; McElwee & Yurak 2007, 2010; French et. al 2008; Legassie et. al 2008;

McGregor et. al 2008; Gibson-Beverly & Schwartz 2008; Peteet et. al 2012; Cokley et. al

2013; Dudau 2014). Researchers have discussed the mental health associations, such as neuroticism, conscientiousness, with the impostor phenomenon. Others have researched how perfectionism, one of the feelings of the impostor phenomenon, and self- handicapping is associated with the impostor feelings. 65

Minimal research has been done that examined the association between race and the impostor phenomenon. Cokley et. al (2013) conducted a study on college students of color and how they experienced stress, mental health, and the impostor phenomenon.

From their results, they concluded three significant themes in their research. Their results measured how the students felt fake, discount, and luck (Cokley et. al 2013, p. 87).

Further claims for the study on racialization of minorities and the impostor phenomenon will be addressed in the next chapter.

Along with the scale, there were in-depth interviews to help support the data. The interview encompassed different areas of experiences: a) cultural and societal expectations; and b) impostor phenomenon experiences. The questions that were asked during the interview were open-ended. The participants were asked additional questions to further add to their experiences. These interviews were conducted at a San Francisco

State University’s library in a private room. The interviewees answered various questions regarding their educational experience from K-12 and from college. Then, they were asked about their experiences with the impostor phenomenon.. In this study, syndrome and phenomenon are used synonymously. All of the interviews were transcribed verbatim and were given back to the interviewee for consent to use what was said during the interview. The participants had to sign off on a consent form that started the procedures of the interview, and they had the option of withdrawing from the study.

Using the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale allowed me to answer the question about how Asian Americans experience the impostor phenomenon. Along with this 66

question, further research questions were developed to help find if there was any

association between the racialization of Asian Americans with the impostor phenomenon.

In order to answer the second question, I used my interviews as a way to see how Asian

American individuals have and are dealing with their impostor phenomenon. Questions

were related to their experiences of feeling like the model minority as well as addressing

the impostor phenomenon. Through the in-depth interviews, I wanted to see how Asian

Americans cope with the impostor phenomenon and how they managed to control these

feelings.

Procedure

The participants were recruited using the “word-of-mouth” methods. Students,

who believe that other friends may be interested, will be asked to be part of the survey

and interview process. I contacted the students through email to schedule a time and date

for the interviews. The interviews were conducted at locations that were chosen by the

research participants and lasted between one hour to one hour and a half. The

interviewees were given a consent form, with the agreements and conditions of the

interview process. The interviews were auto-recorded and later transcribed and analyzed.

During the interviews, I took notes on important themes that were said. Since this topic

may trigger emotional trauma, it was important for the participant to know that they were

able to drop out of the study. A list of mental health services was attached to the consent

form for the interviewees to use after the interview.

Data Analysis 67

When analyzing the empirical data, different methods were used to answer the research question regarding how Asian American college students experience the impostor phenomenon. The participants completed the CIPS, which included two statements that addressed the Asian American educational experience, and recorded their total score that they received. The researcher manually input all of the surveys into

Qualtrics, a survey system, and the system calculated the total participant impostor mean.

Two statements were included to help analyze how raeialization had any association with the impostor phenomenon. These two statements were removed from the overall impostor scores. This study used the Pearson’s Correlation to find any association between the raeialization of Asian Americans and the impostor phenomenon (See Figures 1 & 2).

Grounded theory was used to analyze the qualitative data. Glaser and Strauss discovered this theory in 1967. This theory used data from the interviews as the creation of theory in both quantitative and qualitative research. In order to create these theoretical frameworks, coding of the interviews was done to make different themes or categories for the information (Glaser & Strauss 1967). As a result, different themes were created in this study to fit areas that answer different questions about the experiences of Asian American college students and the impostor phenomenon. Grounded theory provided the foundation and the flexibility of different themes that were present after coding the interviews to help me answer my research questions. The second aspect of the research was an in-depth interview that showed the experiences of Asian Americans dealing with the impostor phenomenon. 68

Limitation

The limitation of my research was that the sample was not a random sample; therefore, this study cannot be generalizable. Furthermore, individuals did not properly fill out the survey information. In the surveys, some students did not fill in the information that was requested. When the students were asked to fill out the survey, some have left out their name, gender, age, and their ethnicity. In addition to not having much information, the participants were asked to add up their total impostor scale score. Some of them did not add their total correctly. Some of the participants left some boxes blank.

The survey did not ask the students about their generation, which may have showed something about their impostor feelings. The population was limited to only San

Francisco State University students. Since this study was conducted in San Francisco

State University, there may be different results in other places with large Asian American student population. As a result, this may have potentially skewed the results of the score and as well as the responses that were used as analysis in Chapter Four.

Another limitation of the interviews was that the questions might have been too personal for some of the participants to answer. When asked questions in regards to their experiences, they might have felt uncomfortable and chose not to answer because the questions may have triggered some emotional trauma from their past. The questions were reworded in order for the participants to feel more comfortable.

The Researcher 69

I am writing this research to help heal Asian Americans and people of color that may experience impostor feelings. This study will shed light into how racial stereotypes may impact the experiences of people of color. As an Asian American, I have experienced impostor feelings and low self-esteem. This positionality has allowed me to see similar themes or patterns that other Asian Americans may have experienced in their life. Having similar experiences to the participants may allow other Asian Americans to feel comfortable with sharing their experiences dealing with the impostor phenomenon and gain a new perspective in supporting others with these feelings.

My positionality may have bias towards my research. While my participants and

I may share commonalities such as race and impostor feelings, we are different in other ways, for example, socioeconomic class, gender, and education. I identify as an Asian

American and Chinese American, first generation college student. Some of the participants may share similar identities. Through my experience of being an impostor, I developed depression and felt that I was not good enough as a student. Some of the participants may have experienced such emotional trauma and questioned their own self- worth. One way that I developed my impostor feelings is through the pressures and stress from society to uphold the model minority. Another factor that developed my impostor feelings is I managed to slip by. Teachers never told me to improve because they thought that I was skilled as a scholar and a writer. For some of the participants, they may address similar stresses and expectations from society. This thesis aims to address stories of individuals that have experienced the impostor phenomenon. 70

In the next chapters will focus on the findings from the research. Chapter Four will address the quantitative findings to see if there is an association between race and the impostor phenomenon. Chapter Five will address the qualitative interviews and findings.

In this chapter, we will see how the participants developed and experienced the impostor phenomenon. Chapter Six will detail the coping mechanisms that are recommended by the participants. Finally, Chapter Seven will conclude with future directions of the study. 71

Chapter 4: Quantitative Findings

The purpose of this chapter is to analyze how the impostor phenomenon impacts students in education. In Chapter Two, the literature shows that there is a gap in literature between race and the impostor phenomenon. In order to address this gap, this chapter examines the following questions: 1) How do Asian Americans college students experience the impostor phenomenon? 2) What are the IP characteristics that Asian

Americans college students experience? 3) Is there an association between racialization and the impostor phenomenon? In order to understand how the impostor phenomenon impacts Asian American college students, a survey was administered to 173 students using the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Survey. This chapter covers the results of the study which include analysis of impostor characteristics and the association racialization and IP. Also, this chapter reviews past literature on the measurement results of impostor phenomenon in relationship to my current findings.

For this study, 173 (53% Female, 47% Male) Asian American students at San

Francisco State University that were enrolled or taking various Asian American Studies courses were surveyed. The results came from all grade levels from San Francisco State

University. 14% identified as freshmen, 26% identified as sophomores, 28% identified as juniors, 27% identified as seniors, and 5.2% identified as post-undergraduate or have received a bachelors degree or higher. All the participants identify as Asian American. In this study, both male and female were pooled together for analysis (see table 1). 72

Each student had to fill out the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale (CIPS), a scale that measured the impact of the impostor phenomenon on the individual. Towards the end of the survey, the participants added up their total scores to find out how the impostor feelings had been impacting their lives. In the scale, there are four ranges that the participants could have fallen into: 0-40, 41-60, 61-80, and 81-100. Total scores from

0-40 mean the participants have minimal experiences of the impostor phenomenon in their lives. Total scores from 41-60 mean participants may have experienced moderate impostor feelings. If the participants scored between 61-80, they have had frequent impostor feelings that impacted their daily lives (CIPS, Clance 1985). Finally, if the participants scored between 81-100, this meant that they have had intense impostor feelings, and the phenomenon is hindering their daily life. The students had to evaluate if the statements were true based on a scale of 1 (Not True of All) to 5 (Very True). When the participants reached the end of the survey, they were asked to add up their total scores. The participants could score from 20 to 100. Holmes et. al (1993) determined that individuals that scored a 62 or higher are considered impostors. For this study, both non­ impostors and impostors are pooled together for analysis. 73

Results

Table 1: Demographic of the Study Total (n=173) Gender Female 91 (53%) Male 82 (47%) Year Freshmen 25 (14%) Sophomore 45 (26%) Junior 48 (28%) Senior 46 (27%) Graduate/Post Doc 9 (5%)

Table 2: Mean Scores of the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale

Clance Impostor Statements Mean SD I have often succeeded on a test or task even though I was afraid that I 3.39 .74 would not do well before I undertook the task. I can give the impression that I ’m more competent than I feel I really 3.46 .96 am. I avoid evaluations if possible and have a dread of others evaluating me. 2.86 1.08 When people (i.e. parents, teachers, or peers) praise me for something I’ve accomplished, I’m afraid I won’t be able to live up to their 3.10 1.20 expectations of me in the future. I sometimes think I obtained or gained my present success because I happened to be in the right place at the right time or knew the right 3.14 1.09 people. I’m afraid people important to me may find out that I’m not as capable 3.04 1.19 as they think I am. I tend to remember the incidents in which I have not done my best more 3.49 1.04 than those times I have done my best. I rarelv do a project or task as well as I’d like to do it. 2.92 1.02 At times, I feel success has been due to some kind of luck or through 3.28 .99 great effort. I ’m disappointed at times in my present accomplishments and think I 3.43 1.11 should have accomplished much more. Sometimes I’m afraid others will discover how much knowledge or 2.98 1.24 ability I reallv lack. 74

Table 2: Mean Scores of the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale Cont.

Sometimes I feel or believe that mv success in life, in my job, or in my 2.22 1.12 education has been the result of some kind of error. It’s hard for me to accept compliments or praise about mv intelligence or 2.93 1.17 accomplishments. I’m afraid that I may fail at new assignments or undertakings even 3.14 1.08 though I generally do well at what I attempt. When I’ve succeeded at something; and received recognition for something I’ve accomplished, I have doubts that I can keep repeating 2.84 1.15 that success. If I received a great deal of praise and recognition for something I’ve 2.79 1.11 accomplished, I tend to discount the importance of what I’ve done. I often compare my ability to those around me and think they may be 3.47 1.18 more intelligent than I am. I often worry about not succeeding with a project or examination even 3.14 1.04 though others around me have considerable confidence. If I’m going to receive a promotion or gain recognition of some kind, I 3.47 1.17 hesitate to tell others until it is an accomplished fact. I feel bad and discouraged if I’m not “the best” or at least “very special” 3.04 1.17 in situations that involve achievement. MEAN OF TOTAL SCORE 3.12 0.62 TOTAL AVERAGE OF ALL SCORE 62.3 12.3 **Italicized = concerns that contributed to impostor feelings. **Underlined= minimal concerns towards impostor feelings.

Impostor Feelings

After completing the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Survey (CIPS), each student displayed different characteristics of the impostor phenomenon. The CIPS allowed researchers to see how their participants were dealing with their impostor feelings. The purpose of CIPS was to determine which impostor characteristics and behaviors participants were feeling. The top five concerns among the participants included the following “impostor” feelings (see table 2):

• Incompetency 75

• Not being successful

• Intellectually inadequate

• Self-doubt

• Guilt of success

These domains reflect a negative aspect of the participants’ fears and doubts. The participants fear that they have not accomplished much or they sometimes compare themselves to others; this shows that they do not believe in themselves. With the highest

averages in these domains, the participants constantly feel the impostor feelings when they question their own abilities or compare themselves to others’ successes.

The three lowest concerns for participants included the following impostor behaviors (see table 2).

• Avoid evaluations from others

• Accepting praise for achievements

• Repeating successful assignments

With these two domains showing that the participants are able to receive feedback and understand that their achievements are not from some kind of error, these two factors do not contribute to their impostor feelings. On the other hand, the fear of not succeeding,

feeling incompetent, doubting one’s abilities, feeling that others are more intelligent, and

feeling guilty about one’s success contributes to the participants developing impostor

feelings. The results from the table show that doubts of one’s abilities leads to the 76

development of the impostor phenomenon, while concerns about one’s achievement and receiving feedback is a minor factor that does not contribute to the impostor feelings.

Racialization and Impostor Phenomenon

In order to understand racialization and the impostor phenomenon, two questions were created. Item 1 stated, “Because Asian Americans are considered the ‘model minority,’ I feel pressured to meet those expectations.” The statement was evaluated on a likert scale of 1 (Not true at all) to 5 (Very true). Item two stated, “I believe that people think I am smarter than I really am because I am Asian American.” This statement was evaluated on a likert scale of 1 (Not true at all) to 5 (Very True). In order to understand the association between racialization and IP, a bivariate Pearson’s Correlation was conducted between each item and the overall mean IP score. The results indicated for the first item that there is a statistically significant (pc.OOl) moderately (r=.382) positive relationship between the perceptions of the model minority and the overall impostor phenomenon (see Figure 1). The results indicated for the second item that there is a statistically significant (p=.004) weak (r=.215) positive relationship between the perception that Asian Americans were associated with being intelligent and the overall impostor phenomenon (see Figure 2). 77

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 Because Asian Americans are considered "model minorities," I feel pressured to meet those expectations.

Figure 1: The Correlation between the model minority and the Impostor Phenomenon (r=.382;p<.001) ' 78

Figure 2: Correlation between Being Smart and the Impostor Phenomenon. (r=.215, p=.004)

IP Measures Across Populations

Studies of impostor phenomenon using CIPS have been conducted over the last

20 years. From 1993 - 2014, there have been 21 studies conducted using the CIPS as

measurements. These studies were based in psychology and higher education because the

goal was to find an association between success, mental health, and psychological

distress. Of these studies, four studies were conducted in Australia, London, Canada, and

Korea while 19 studies were conducted in the United States. The sample populations

were primarily white college students. 79

Table 3: Studies of Impostor Phenomenon Mean, 1993-2014 (n=22)

Studies ______Type of Sample Mean Ranges (SD) Holmes et. al (1993) 62 people 86.87 (5.38) King & Cooley (1995) 127 College Students 53.40-55.47 (11.15-14.59) Chae et. al (1995) 654 Korean citizens 56.2 (9.7) Henning et. al (1998) 477 health professionals 52-59.4 (12.4-15) Thompson et. al (1998) 164 Australian students (I) 73.05 (8.28) Thompson et. al (2000) 60 Australian students (I): 78.83 (6.56)

Sonnak & Towell (2001) 107 UK Undergraduates 70.59 (6.16) Ross et. al (2001) Midwest: 129 College students 50.28 (9.28) Bernard et. al (2002) Midwest: 190 undergrad psych 52.6(12.7) students Lapp-Rincker (2003) Kansas 109 Honor students, 59.17(11.19) freshmen Castro et. al (2004) South: 213 Counseling Psychology 55.19 (14.82) graduate students Oriel et. al (2004) Midwest: 185 participants 54.3-58.5

Ferrari (2005) Midwest 124 College Students 54.24(13.27) teaching university in Psychology class Ferrari & Thompson South: Study 1: Study 1: (2006) 165 Undergraduate students 55.75 (13.97) Study 2 Study 2 72 females; at urban private 62.68 (12.54) Want and Klietmen Australia: 115 people ranging 53.6 (13.22) (2006) from different occupations Gibson-Beverly & South: 170 graduate students for 54.37(13.22) Schwartz (2008) Legassie et. al (2008) Ontario: 77 medical doctors 61.2(14.2) McGregor et. al (2008) Southwest: 186 students 56.33 (11.59)

Cokley et. al (2013) Southwest: 240 ethnic minority 51.2-61.8 (13-14.4) students Dudau (2013) 139 Romanian high school 55.62(15.39) 80

students Table 3: Studies of Impostor Phenomenon Mean, 1993-2014 (n=22) Cont Dudau (2014) 128 Romanian students and 52.37 (14.06) volunteers Peteet et. al (2014) 112 African American college 54.48 (14.74) Students

The studies from Holmes et. al (1993) and the CIPS (1985) have determined that the scores from 62 to 100 are considered to be the impostor scores. Other studies found that scores above 62 were associated with low self-esteem, feeling inadequate, depression, guilt, anxiety, and perfectionist tendencies (Holmes et. al 1993; Thompson et. al 1998; Thompson et. al 2000; Sonnak & Towell 2001; Legassie et. al 2008). From the

study from Holmes et. al (1993), their study confirmed that their impostor sample lowest

score was 62. This score is significant because it determines the frequency of individuals experiencing the impostor phenomenon. This study showed that Asian American college students experience frequent impostor feelings because their impostor feelings are associated with incompetency, feeling unsuccessful, feeling guilty, and feeling intellectually incapable.

Furthermore, this study examined Asian American college students. Past studies have examined Asian Americans. Cokley et. al (2013) conducted a study on the association of mental health and the impostor phenomenon on ethnic college minorities.

This study and Cokley et. al study used the CIPS with a likert scale of 1 (Not true at all) to 5 (Very true). From Cokley et. al (2013) research, their average impostor phenomenon mean for Asian Americans was a 3.09 (Total average score: 61.8). Compared to this 81

study, Asian American college students scored a total impostor score of 62.3 with an

average total score of 3.12. These two studies show that Asian Americans do experience

frequent impostor feelings due to the model minority stereotype (Cokley et. al 2013).

This study shows that there is a moderate positive relationship with the model minority

and the impostor phenomenon.

Race continues to be ignored because of the lack of research that has been done in

this field. Peteet et. al (2014) conducted a study on the impostor phenomenon on African

Americans. They sampled 112 African American college students (83 female, 29 male).

These students came from different disciplinary areas and socioeconomic backgrounds.

The participants averaged an IP score of 54.48 (SD= 14.74). The study found that the

impostor phenomenon was associated with psychological stress and lack of self-esteem

(Peteet et. al 2014; Hennings et. al 1993, Thompson et. al 1998; Sonnak & Towell 2001;

Ross et. al 2001; Bernard et. al 2001). Their study revealed is a lack of research on the

African American impostor phenomenon. They believed that this study would provide

further understanding of African Americans’ psychological distress. This study further

supports the idea that the impostor phenomenon is linked to development of low self­

esteem, depression, and other mental health complications (Peteet et. al 2014; Bernard et.

al 2001; Ross et. al 2001; Hennings et. al 1998, Ferrari 2005; Ferrari & Thompson 2006;

McGregor et. al 2008).

Summary 82

There must be more studies conducted on the association between race and the impostor phenomenon. Race is the gap in the literature on the impostor phenomenon. A majority of the studies have examined the relationship between gender and impostor phenomenon and have examined a large sample of white professionals and college students. White professionals and college students are examined at a higher rate than people of color. The CIPS does an excellent job in identifying the feelings and the characteristics that individual experience, however it does show how one develops these feelings. With the limited research that has been done on the impostor phenomenon and racialization, the experiences of college students and professionals of color continue to be ignored. Race is an important perspective that needs to be addressed through the CIPS and other qualitative research.

This study proposes that Asian American college students experience the impostor phenomenon. These feelings are often overlooked due to the assumption of the model minority stereotype and the assumption that Asian Americans are more intellectually capable than people of other races. As a result, racialization of Asian

Americans does in fact contribute to their development of their impostor feelings. This association supports other research that claims that Asian Americans experience the impostor phenomenon because of the model minority stereotype (Cokley et. al 2014).

The model minority stereotype continues to enforce academic stress for Asian Americans to strive to be successful. Given the data shown above, the model minority stereotype contributes to Asian Americans feeling that they are not successful. Further studies are 83

needed to examine the association with the racialization of Asian Americans and their development of the impostor phenomenon. The next chapter addresses the experience of

10 Asian American students with the impostor phenomenon. 84

Chapter 5: Qualitative Findings

The purpose of this chapter is to analyze how Asian Americans experienced the impostor phenomenon in their education. In chapter four, the quantitative findings have found that there is an association between racialization of Asian American as the model minority and the impostor phenomenon. In this chapter, qualitative research is conducted to further support the quantitative findings by providing experiences of impostors. The chapter examines the following questions: 1) How does the racialization, in particular the model minority impact Asian American college students have and are currently experiencing the impostor phenomenon; 2) What have been the experiences of Asian

American college students and racialization in their K-12 studies; 3) How does family expectations play a factor in the development of the impostor phenomenon in Asian

American college students; 4) What have been the experiences of Asian American college students and the racialization as the model minority in college?

Findings

In order to understand how the impostor phenomenon impacts Asian American college students, 10 in-depth interviews about the participants’ educational experiences provide insight to find where their impostor feelings have originated. Grounded Theory allows flexibility for analysis in the qualitative research by using coding to find how the participants’ impostor feeling originated. Based on the frameworks of imperialism, whiteness, and white supremacy, the interview questions were directed towards the participants’ racial identities and how being Asian American is related to their academic 85

experience. It is important to draw from the personalized experiences and situations of where the participants have felt like an impostor through their racial identity as Asian

American college students. This chapter covers the following themes that emerged from the qualitative interviews:

• The racialization of Asian Americans students in K-12;

• Academic performances of Asian American students;

• Socialization as a cover-up;

• Family expectations and the stress to be successful;

• Comparison as a tool to be competitive; and

• The racialization as Asian American college students as the model minority.

Trying to find where the impostor phenomenon originated takes multiple approaches. The intersection between racial identity, academic performance, socialization, family expectations, being compared, the effects model minority, and the impostor phenomenon may be tied together. The link might be within the participants’ personalized experience as an Asian American and being projected as the model minority stereotype that contributes to the development of the impostor phenomenon. 86

Table 4: Background of Respondents (n=10) Gender Male 5 Female 5 Ethnicity Chinese, Taiwanese, Filipino, Vietnamese Age Range 20-36 Majors Asian American Studies, Biochemistry, Physiology, Education, Psychology Participants Aaron Aaron is an undergraduate student Kevin Kevi is an undergraduate student Lex Lex is currently an educator in the Bay Area Jessie Jessie is an undergraduate Karen Karen is undergraduate Gretchen Gretchen is an undergraduate Sara Sara is currently an educator in the Bay Area Regina Regina is currently a graduate student Carlos Carlos is a undergraduate student Glen Glen is currently a graduate student

From the interviews, academic, social, and family expectations influence the development of the participants’ impostor feelings. Clance (1985) wrote that, “because of their [students’] terror of failure, their need to be the best or to be perfect, their tendency to underestimate and doubt their abilities, and their propensity to remember only their deficits and forget their strengths, IP victims often find being a student one of the most difficult times of their lives” (p. 111). This expectation from other people contributes to students’ development of the impostor phenomenon because of the stress to not fail.

Clance (1985) explained, “the type of demand placed on students seems to create condition which contribute to an increase of IP behaviors and feelings” (p. 110).

Education and schools shifted their curriculum to focus on the performance of students in 87

2001 with the No Child Left Behind Act (Education Research Center 2011). As success has shifted to evaluation through testing, these “decisions are made will profoundly affect their [students’] lives and determine whether they can proceed toward their goals”

(Clance 1985, p. 110). When students develop impostor feelings, they constantly believe that they cannot succeed because they have a constant feeling of not being good enough.

Impostors are “afraid they would experience shame, self-hatred, and total loss of self­ esteem if they failed in their own eyes or in anyway appeared less than capable to others.

And they’re afraid they couldn’t possibly live through such humiliation. Their hard work, perfectionism, avoidance of difficult endeavors, and their push to excel and be special are all meant of preventing any kind of failure” (Clance 1985, p. 64).

Based qualitative findings, Asian Americans and their experience of fear is even greater since they are placed at a high pedestal because of the model minority stereotype.

They have an expectation that they have to be smart in schools (Lee 2009). This racial stress that schools and other influences that contribute to the heavy burden on Asian

American students has dire mental health consequences. Some Asian Americans develop depression, anxiety, or physical health problems. From the interviews, the participants addressed that they have been racialized throughout their K-12 and college experiences.

Racism and Racialized Bullying in K-12

Five of the participants stated that they were racialized in during their K-12 studies. From K-12, Asian American students are faced with an expectation that they must portray the smart, hardworking, and obedient students. In some ways, external 88

forces, such as teachers and peers, contribute to an Asian American’s impostor feelings because of microaggressions about their race. These microaggressions are formed through stereotypes from the dominant culture and their assumptions regarding Asian

Americans. For some Asian Americans, they may not have noticed that others have racially stereotyped them in their K-12 experience. In some ways, the model minority stereotype influences the way that other students see Asian Americans. The participants’ academic and social experiences contributed to their development of the impostor phenomenon because of bullying and institutional racism.

Sara, an educator in the Bay Area, expressed that she experienced racism during her primary and secondary education. She expressed that:

I heard them say, “Don’t let them sit with you, we don’t like Chinese people” and “Sorry this seat is taken, you can’t sit here!” I did not know what to do, what to say, and how to protect my younger brother and sister from all the hateful comments, laughs, and dirty looks... As we proceeded with the bus route, I observed an African American male get on the bus and three students moved out of the way and gave up their seat. He looked at me and scooted all the way to the window and told us to sit with him. He said, “Welcome to Riverside. They hate people like us.”

Other students assumed that she was Chinese, along with her siblings. With the raeialization as being Chinese, Sara felt stressed about the situation because it was out her control. She was defenseless and she did not know how defend her siblings from the racism. As this situation progressed, an African American student came onto the bus and told them that the people in Riverside did not like people of color. This feeling not belonging in a new environment shaped her future experience as a Filipina. When she 89

continued her experience in secondary education, she took on the identity as a Latina because this identity gave her a sense of belonging. She exclaimed:

You had to make friends with bullies. You had to find backup.. .1 had to figure out where I fit in so I don’t get beat up at school. I ended up hang out with the Chicanas. For the longest time, I said, “I’m not Asian, I’m Mexican...I’m Spanish because the Spanish took over the Philippines.” I told that lie over and over. “You’re not Mexican!” “No, I’m Filipino, but we’re Spanish.” “O h.. .okay, c’mon chinita!” They let me kick it with them and I made really good friends out of it. It wasn’t me.

She had to develop an identity in order to feel that she belonged in her school environment. In her K-12 experience, she chose the Latina identity because of the colonization of Philippines by the Spanish. By telling this lie, other students accepted her.

Although she made friends from this lie, she knew that it was not her. She had to find her own community to feel safe from bullies. Even though the Latinas knew that she was

Filipina, she continued to express the lie that they were Spanish to find acceptance. They still referred her as “Chinita” (Chinese) because of assumption that Asians were Chinese.

She separated from her Filipina experience because her ethnic identity did not feel that it was welcomed. With the racialized experience in her primary education led her to accept the Latina identity because of the racism and the treatment associated with being Filipino and being Asian American.

Similar to Sara’s experience, Lex, an educator within the Bay Area, experienced racial bullying during his K-12 journey because for being Asian American. He explained:

When I moved to Riverside, I experienced explicit racism where my classroom was majority white, Latino, and black and there was less than one percent of the student population was Asian. I was emotionally and physically bullied regularly 90

by white students. They called me "Chink, Gook, Nip, etc." on the daily. I had encounters on the school bus, on the playground, and in the classroom.. .Everyday I was bullied on the bus. “Aye bruce is here!” “Oh do you know Karate? Kung Fu? I bet you can’t whoop my ass!” They would whoop my ass on the bus.

Being in Riverside, Lex felt racialized for being one of the only Asian American in his classroom. Being called racial term such as Chink, Gook, or nip, takes a toll on his mental health because of the consist threat of being targeted by other people’s perception of his identity. The other students’ assumption on Asian American contributed to the violence against Lex. The stereotype of Asian Americans being martial artists made Lex look like a threat to other students. With the constant bullying, Lex expressed that, “This played a role in my identity because it [racism] created insecurities and it also made me shift my identity to become "white" at a young age.” He expressed that because of racial terms, he felt insecure about his own racial identity and wanted to become white. The desire to develop a sense of whiteness created a sense of protection for Lex. Adapting to whiteness was Lex’s way out of the bullying. He chose to separate from his Filipino identity because having a Filipino and Asian American identity presented him problems.

As a result, Lex wanted to change his identity to whiteness.

Similar to the experience from Lex, Glen, a graduate student, questioned his own identity. He explained that other students perceived him as another Asian ethnicity. He explained:

Growing up, I was not knowledgeable or confident in my Filipino heritage and so a lot Black and Mexican kids just called me China boy because that was the only ethnicity they knew. I began to believe them...In high school or middle school, it was shocking to others that I received a low-test score or did worse on an 91

assignment than a Black person. It was expected that I always receive high grades and it would be “easy” for me, almost as if because I was smart that I didn’t have internal problems of my own. This impacted my identity in the sense that being smart or successful was a marker of being “Filipino” or “Asian.” So therefore, if I was failing at school, it meant I was failing my family and my heritage.

The students from Glen’s school assumed that he was Chinese because of the association with being Asian. With other students assuming that he was Chinese, he started to believe that their statements were true because others and himself did not validate his Filipino identity. Glen felt that there was an expectation for Asian Americans to be smart and successful. He and others believed that it would be easy for him to succeed. When he received a low-test score, he felt that needed to score higher because of the standards associated with being Asian American. Witnessing how he was unable to achieve success, he felt that he was failing his family and heritage because he could not fulfill the standard of being Asian American, Filipino, and being smart.

Some of the participants did not experience blatant racism. Gretchen, an undergraduate, did not feel that racialization of Asian Americans, however, environmental racism was prevalent in her K-12. She explained:

When it came to race, I don't think my peers and I ever really had the chance to stop and think about what race we are when we were so busy trying to fit in and not get jumped or shot. They were really just trying to survive. Had I known then what I know now about race, I think it would've been much easier to dissect the intersections between surviving as young people of color in the face of gentrification and violence.

Although Gretchen was unaware of the racism when she was in K-12, she was the subject of environmental racism. She felt that she needed to fit in with her environment. Her 92

school environment was focused on surviving; racialization was not part of her thoughts.

Environmental influences impacted the racial culture of her school. She believed that she was taught about race, she believed that she would be able to understand the racial issues at her school. With the violence that she witnessed, she felt that racism was not an important issue that she experienced. With the constant fear, she believed that survival was more important than experiencing thinking about racism.

Similar experience happened with another participant. Carlos, an undergraduate, believed that institutionalized racism affected his sense of identity. He believed that the denial of Ethnic Studies was his source of racism. He stated:

I don't remember experiencing any blatant racism in school that affected me. If taking this question very general however, not having any curriculum or material that catered to my identity, as a Filipino American in the public school system, with a diverse population of students in a concentrated area of Filipino families should be mentioned.

Although Carlos did not experience blatant racism, he believed that the institution caused the racism. He thought that the lack of Ethnic Studies affected his identity. He expressed that not having Filipino American curriculum, he felt that he was denied his cultural identity. Not having this type of curriculum, he deemed as racist because of not learning about his cultural history and his placement in the United States. He believed with the addition of Ethnic Studies to the curriculum, he would have a stronger racial and ethnic pride. The denial of ethnic curriculum would have helped him create a stronger sense of identity. 93

Racial identity is associated with the impostor phenomenon because of accepting a false identity and racism. The participants had to take on other identities in order to survive in their K-12 experience. With the assumptions on Asian Americans, they result in bullying or isolation from other groups. Some have expressed that the stress of being

Asian American took a toll on their educational experience. Some even started that other types of racism had impacted their education. From these experiences, academic performance is greatly impacted.

Academic Performance and Lack Attention For Asian Americans

People have this expectation that Asian American students must perform academically well. As a result, Asian Americans are given less attention in the classroom.

Academic performance and the lack of attention may contribute to the formation of the impostor phenomenon. Asian Americans are seen as more academically successful minority compared to other ethnic groups. According to Lee (2009), “Significance of race, it is usually to identify Asian Americans as model minorities. Here, Asian

Americans’ success is used as proof that equal opportunity exists” (p. 6). This racialization of Asian Americans as the model minority may have contributed to the development of several participants’ impostor feelings because how the stereotype defines Asians. In this section, the participants discussed their academic performances and their feeling of slipping by in K-12. 94

Aaron, an undergraduate, explained that he was separated from the other students into an English Language Learning class because of his race. Later, he was placed into a learning proficiency program. He grew up in Philadelphia and began his K-8 education there. He answered:

I remember in kindergarten, you know, they put me in an English as a Second Language (ESL) program, but I was not a foreign exchange student. I guess by default that because I was Asian, they threw me into an ESL program...In the second or third grade.. .1 pretty much ended up in a learning proficiency program.. .1 was always pulled out for an hour and went to another classroom filled with kids that they believed didn’t learn at the same level.. .1 would always question myself that the things that I’m reading are super elementary to my level. I don’t know and I still don’t know if my parents threw me in there or if it was something that the school forced, or if the school recommended and my parents didn’t know what and just threw me in there.

For some Asian Americans, they may be placed into an ELL program because of the assumptions associated with their race. Aaron’s experience reflected the idea Asian

Americans may have been treated differently, regardless if they were born in the United

States or not. Some Asian Americans twere placed into programs that made them feel different. Being placed into an ESL program may affect Asian American academic performance because they would start to question their own abilities. The results of

Aaron being placed into his school’s ESL program contributed to him being placed into a learning proficiency program. Aaron explained that he was pulled out of the classroom based on his perceived abilities. He began to question why he was placed into a program when he felt that he was more capable than his school believed. He further explained how he felt about this experience. He stated: 95

It was so weird and I never appreciated that I was in there [ESL]. It was just kind of pulled me down.. .1 felt that like I didn’t really fit in. so when I was thrown back into the normal classroom, I just felt, “Damn.. even today, I still feel the full effects of it...

Being isolated and being singled out because of one’s abilities has a huge detriment to

Aaron’s confidence. As a result, Aaron started developing the impostor feelings because his school underestimated his capabilities. Aaron’s experience showed that some Asian

Americans did feel like their confidence was lowered because of the separation into different specialized classes based on their language or learning abilities. He felt that he did not belong in the classroom; he was discouraged. Samuel’s confidence in his English abilities and future endeavors with English was greatly impacted by the decision by the school to place him into the ESL program.

Gretchen had a different experience from Aaron. She experienced different treatments for being Asian American between the African American students because of racial stereotypes, such as the model minority. She answered:

In high school, I think that’s where I experienced the most stereotypes like the model minority. Since the school was predominately African American and Asian American, a lot of the African American students were involved, I don’t want to say street gangs, but for the it was more about being able to survive in that area than achieving academic success. So I think our teachers in that school, the primary concern was getting them through the system, the education system. Since I was Asian, even though I never really took the time to improve my academics, I just kind of slipped by because I guess I looked like the other achieving Asians. I took that class [Creative English] and the teacher always tried to make a specific example of me because I took a specific interest in writing. So I think it was okay. But he made it a point to share my work and it was pretty embarrassing. 96

Gretchen believed she slipped by because of a system that assumes that Asian Americans were seen as successful. Her teachers and peers did not pay attention to her educational needs because they assumed that she was successful like the other Asian Americans based on how she looked. In some ways, she was unable to meet the standard of some

Asian Americans. From her experience, her abilities were lumped together because of her identity. In the topic that she was excelled in, she was the token person that people should strive to become. Being used as the example in the class, other students had to strive to be like her and be successful. She felt embarrassed when her teacher shared her writing with other students. In some ways, she met the teacher’s standards; however, she felt she did not improve as a student.

Another student, Glen questioned his own academic performance. As one of two children in his family to graduate with a bachelor’s degree, he reflected on his experience in K-12. His teachers and peers believed that he was smart because he was Asian

American. When asked about his experience in K-12 and being sent to summer school, he answered:

I actually did fail the seventh grade. I was required to go to summer school to compensate those grades. They would sit me down and say, “Glen, you’re going to summer school. What’s going on? You’re really smart. I know you’re capable of larger things...” I was unhappy. I honestly felt defeated because I was one of the only two Asian guys in summer school. The other guy was only there because of a language barrier. He just got here from China. Even people in summer school were like, “Dude, you’re really smart. Why are you even in summer school?” It kind of added to the expectations. 97

Being sent to summer school, his teachers thought something was wrong. His teachers

knew that he was capable, but something caused him to be unhappy. Other assumed that

he was too smart to be in summer school. Being sent to summer school, he knew that he

was able to do what was required in school, but other external things, such as social

inclusion, held him back. With others stating that he was smart and why was he even in

summer school, their statements reminded him that he needed to meet those expectations.

With the expectations that he had to be successful, attending summer school complicated

his own expectations. With other people seeing that Glen was in summer school, he felt

that he could not meet his own expectations of being successful or being at his full

potential. This event caused him to feel defeated.

For another student, he had an expectation that he needed to meet. Lex explained

his thought process about the immigrant experience as a factor to meeting his teachers’

standards:

In the immigrant mind set, if you don’t get it, you better try harder because there’s something wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong the teacher. The teacher set the standards and you need to meet where they are at. At the time, I didn’t know. I was like, “Fuck! I’m fucking stupid!”

Teachers were responsible for creating the standard that he had to meet. Being unable to meet these standards, he felt that he was at fault for not meeting the teachers’

expectations. When Asian Americas were younger, they never question the standards set by the teacher. Immigrant parents believed that their children should follow the rules and meet their teacher’s expectations. If they cannot meet these expectations, the child was at 98

fault. Lex also expressed that getting into Gifted and Talented Education (GATE) program was important to him. He felt stupid because he could not meet a standard that was created for students in a different education background than his own. He stated:

They tracked the GATE kids into the special class and I was in the middle class. I always felt that I needed to be in that class because that person was in and I scored higher than he did in these different tests. Then you have to take specific GATE tests to get in. It’s either you pass the test to get in or the teacher identified you to get into the class.. .1 tried my hardest and I was still getting S’s on my report card. I was like, “What the fuck!” That kind of shot my confidence down. I felt that I wasn’t good enough.

He felt disappointed because he could not meet the expectations of GATE. He knew that he could meet the expectations or the requirements for the GATE program. When he got his report card and still earned satisfactory grades, he felt that his confidence in his intellectual abilities lowered because his hard work was not paying off. Even though he felt that he was ready to be part of the GATE program, teachers did not recognize him again. Impostors want to be part of something where they feel that they belong. Lex felt that he should be placed into the program because he believed that being in the GATE program would allow him to feel competent. However, these standards were created to separate the ones that could and could not. His confidence was shot down because of how the standards shaped who belonged and who did not. He felt defeated for getting the

GATE program. The rejection caused him to feel that he was not good enough.

Teachers, peers, and social environments are influential to the development of the impostor phenomenon. For Asian Americans students, their teachers, peers, and social environments have a critical influence on their academic performances. For some, being 99

placed into an ESL program impacts their abilities because it causes them to feel that they lack certain qualities compared other students. For others, teachers acknowledge their abilities, however assumes that they are able to succeed without much support. With this assumption, teachers and other students assume that Asian Americans are smart and capable of achieving success. However, with this idea, Asian American impostors, who know that they are capable and are rejected, question their abilities and lowers their self­ esteem. Some students may turn to extra curricular activities or compare themselves to others in order to feel that they belong in their school environments.

Socialization As a Cover-Up

Socialization is used as a way to cover up the imperfections or the desire to fit in.

Teachers and the education system create the standards for students to strive to achieve.

As some students are unable to make it, even if they were to work hard to accomplish these tasks, they may feel that they are not good enough. The participants are placed into a system that has standards that were high for some individuals. Through extra curricular activities, such as sports, it is used to cover their flaws when it came to academics.

Sara reflected on her experience as a student in high school. When Sara was in high school, she exceled in sports. She stated:

I was a jock. I loved sports. I enjoyed seeing my name in the newspaper everyday for winning every [tennis] match I played. I enjoy hearing my name on the intercom when they announced, “Girls Tennis varsity won yesterday! Sara, singles.” I love hearing that shit. I was like, “Fuck yeah! Recognize mother fuckers!” Everyone thought that I couldn’t do shit because I was this little ass Asian girl. You know, not too smart, not too athletic, but I mean I got by because I was good at shit [sports]. 100

From her academic experience, people thought that she was not smart enough, however, she was talented in sports. Using social activities such sports allowed her express that she did belong. For Sara, using sports allowed other to see that she was good at something.

She felt that everyone thought that she could not do much because she felt that she was not athletic. But through the victories that she had in tennis showed others that even though she was not academically successful, she was excelling in something through sports.

In addition to Sara, another situation highlighted the importance of socialization.

Glen explained that he was distracted by his social life. In his K-12, he explained that he was unhappy during this time. He explained during the interview that he wanted to fit in and find a community than his grades. He explained that:

I remember the first time I told people that I got Cs and Ds and people were like, “Dude, you’re hella smart, why are you getting such low grades?” It was necessarily that, to be honest, it wasn’t that I didn’t comprehend. It was more so I wasn’t trying or care since my thoughts were somewhere else. I became confused with social aspects: not having friends, clothes, or having a girlfriend. So that became my focus. I didn’t really care about grades at the time. I was so unhappy.

He felt that the social aspect held more importance than his academics. He understood and comprehended the material at hand, but because he lacked a network of friends.

People constantly told him that he was smart, however Glen did not feel that he belonged because of his desire to fit in. The social peer pressures from the school environment impacted students. He wanted others to know he can be like them. He started to self­ handicap his experience. Impostors did not express their failures, instead they internalize 101

those feelings of inadequacy. For Glen, he felt his social life hindered him to grow academically. As a result, he may have felt as an impostor because he felt that he did not belong. By the need of having friends, clothes, or having a partner flooded the mind of some individuals during their K-12 experience.

Kevin had a different social experience. When asked about his experience, he often compared himself to other students, especially his friends. He stated:

I compared myself to my friends because I wanted to be more social. Especially in senior year, my best friend, he was out there.. .He knew all these people, he was on good terms with them. I wanted to be like him. I wanted to get a long with more people.. .1 wanted to be that guy that everyone said hi to, and always get invited to stuff.

For some individuals, they felt that they needed to be similar to their friends who were socially successful. With this pressure, often times some individuals may think that socializing will allow them to have that kind of success by being accepted. For Kevin, his he wanted to be like his popular. He wanted to be socially accepted by others. The need of being social was critical for some impostors because of the networks of friendship.

Through friendships, some individuals can establish a support system to handle their feelings of not being good enough. He saw that his friend was getting recognition for something that he did not have. The recognition that he wanted soon became a task for him to strive to be during his K-12 experience.

Taking on extra curricular activities and the desire to be involved is important to some of the participants. Asian American students are capable and are able to comprehend tasks and assignments, however things distract them from achieving. The 102

desire to fit in is crucial for some Asian American students. They would compare themselves to others because they want to be liked, while some may use sports as a way to fit in. For Asian Americans students, academic success still holds a stronger value over

socialization because of their family’s expectations.

Family Expectations: Striving to be Successful

Family expectations contribute to an individual developing their impostor

feelings. According to Clance (1985), “many of our fundamental views about

ourselves—and eventually our views on our own competence and our potential for

success—began with our families and how our parents and/or siblings saw us and how they conveyed what they saw” (Clance 1985, p. 32). In Asian American families, there

are expectations that some of the participants expressed in how they to meet their parents’

standards. External forces shaped the way that their parents set their expectations for their

child’s success. There are factors that contributed to the Asian American families, from imperialism and whiteness. Through cultural imperialism, Galtung explained that, “the brain drain (and body drain) where by ‘raw’ brains (students) and ‘raw’ bodies (unskilled workers) are moved from the periphery to the center and ‘processed’ (trained) with ample benefits to the center, the picture becomes complete” (pp. 93-94). This means that culturally developing countries are taught that the developed countries are a place to provide more benefits. Immigrants have an influenced mindset of what is successful in the United States. They push their children to pursue careers for financial stability. 103

Carlos expressed that he always wanted to become a school psychologist.

However, he explained that he had this expectation to become a nurse from his family.

He stated that he wanted to become an English teacher, but his family had an expectation for him. His mom wanted him to achieve an occupation with a high paying salary. He explained:

I was telling my mom that I wanted to become an English teacher. My mom was like, “What!? Where’s the money in that?” I was like, “What? What’s wrong with that?” We went back forth, I was just, “Fine, I’ll become a nursing major.” She bought me new pair of shoes as a reward for switching majors...So I went from Kinesiology major to nursing major, then I didn’t feel right, my heart didn’t feel right.

Becoming a nurse, most Asian Americans experience this kind of expectation from their parents. This expectation for Carlos to become a nurse was highly expected because it was an occupation that would pay well. Carlos felt pressured to succeed and to become nurses because that was how his parents saw success. As a result, there was a conflict of interest between both Carlos and his mother on careers. When he became a nursing major, he realized that he did not feel right because becoming a nurse was not part of his passions. His mother rewarded him for with shoes for going into the nursing major. He knew that his passion was not in the nursing field but with another field, such as psychology. He did it to make his mother happy.

Furthermore, Karen, who is currently an undergraduate, expressed how her family’s expectations and how it impacted her mental health. During the interview, she opened up about her mental state. She expressed that: 104

Right now, I’m dealing with a lot of anxiety issues. I think it does stem from trying to please my parents. I always felt like that they expected things from me. It felt like I can’t live up to that. Because of that, I would always feel like a disappointment and clashed with my family. At the same, I felt that I had to consider what they said though.

The expectations from their parents have a great impact on impostors’ mental health.

Karen felt that her expectations were coming from her parents. As a result, she felt like a disappointment because she could not meet her parents’ expectations. She developed anxiety because of the fear that she would not meet her parents’ expectations of success.

Karen felt that her parents expected to meet their expectations in order to please them.

Her anxiety comes from her parents’ expectations and the purpose of pleasing them through her major or study. As a result, she expressed that her relationship with her parents were strained through the anxiety.

In addition, Glen explained that his expectations to succeed came from his father.

Glen explained that the first part of his education, he grew up without his mother. He explained that:

Absolutely. So what’s actually important to note, I did grow up without my mom. Growing up, it was just my dad, my brothers, and I and having the same name as my dad, played a huge factor. Bringing home C’s and D’s to my dad, while he’s doing everything he could do things on his own, I felt the guilt trip. I felt defeated, a failure; I just wasn’t doing his name justice.

Bringing home C’s and D’s showed disapproval from Glen’s father. He expressed that he felt like failure because he was not meeting his father’s expectations. His impostor feelings grew because of the fear of failing his father. Fear of failure is prevalent in 105

students because they do not want to fail anyone that they loved or seen as important. He

expressed that he shared the name of his father and that he was a reflection of his father.

As a result, he believed that he was not giving his dad’s name justice. He was not able to

make his dad proud. Glen’s standards were shaped through his own expectations of what

success was. He felt defeated and guilty because of the sacrifices that his father went

through in order to have a better life. His expectations of bringing home C’s and D’s

lowered his confidence.

Regina currently a graduate student, expressed that being the oldest child, she had

expectations because she had to be the role model for her siblings. As a result, her parents

wanted her to pursue a career in a high paying occupation. She explained:

My parents? They really don’t know what I’m doing. They don’t get Asian American studies. Their thoughts are not what your major is but it’s the thought about the career of I’m going to be. So, I explained to them with this degree, I’ll become a teacher. So they’re like, “oh you’re going to be a teacher?” So that’ll make more money.

Regina expressed that her parents did not understand why she majored in Asian

American Studies. She knew her path and how to become a teacher. However, she

expressed that her parents did not understand her degree. For her parents, they expected

her to go into something with a title and have a license. They wanted her to pursue a

stable career. When she expressed that, “Their thoughts are not what my major is, but what my career I’m going to be [in]” There is this career expectations. With her parents not acknowledging her major, this might have contributed to her developing the impostor phenomenon because of the lack of praise of her achievements. 106

In addition, Gretchen felt the pressure from her parents when she was applying to college. She saw that some Asian American children are pushed into the University of

California (UC) system. She stated:

My parents really wanted us to achieve academically.. .they all wanted us to go to Berkeley or University of California Davis (UCD) or University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) or any of the UCs. Being the rebellious kid I was, “No I’m not going to do what you want.” So I didn’t apply to any of those schools. I think that the prestige of going to a UC or being at a CSUs is okay, but going to community college is kind of looked down upon, especially if there’s an expectation to be at that level, whatever that meant. We were under a lot of pressure.

Her parents wanted her siblings and her to succeed academically. Gretchen explained that there was an expectation for her siblings and herself to go into the UC or California State

University (CSU) systems. She believed that individuals who go to community college were looked down upon because it was seen as less prestigious. Both her siblings and her had experienced extreme levels of pressure from their parents. With UC ranked at the top, she felt the pressure to applying to the UC system. She chose not to apply to those schools. Gretchen expressed that she felt a lot of pressure to achieve higher education because of how parents saw the school systems. When rejected, they would develop the impostor feeling of being a failure because they could not meet the expectation of what is required at the UC system. Impostors would feel inadequate and question their abilities.

For an impostor, they continue to strive to be successful because of pressure from others, especially from family. From the participants, they express that their families have high expectations for them to succeed. Sometimes, this stress is too much for an impostor to handle. They may develop anxiety or feel like a disappointment because they could not 107

meet their parents’ expectations or make them proud. As an impostor, developing anxiety and constantly feeling inadequate is a common feeling for most individuals who suffer from this phenomenon.

Comparison as a way o f Competition and Family Tension

In addition, the participants have expressed that their parents often compared their experiences to other family members, their own siblings, and other family’s children.

According to Clance (1985), she wrote, “the child perceives his or her abilities and talents to be atypical of the rest of the family’s. For example, a child may be a mathematical genius while the other members of the family care nothing about numbers but tend to have artistic or musical talents. The child begins to feel that he or she is ‘different’ and even begins to feel like the proverbial square peg trying to fit in the family’s round hole”

(pp. 33-34). Family’s express that their child’s abilities are not as good as others. Parents would often compare the impostor’s abilities to other people because they believe that their abilities are more valued. In addition to denying the impostor’s abilities, Clance explained that, “Some parents may simply have chosen another sibling to be the ‘star’ or bright one in the family, and they don’t want to admit their mistake...Some parents may brag to friends and relatives about what their offspring have done, but they rarely let these children know how proud they are of their achievements” (Clance 1985, p. 34).

When the family chooses the star child, they often compare the impostor to the older or younger child. When the child achieves something, they usually do not acknowledge the success. 108

As the middle child, Karen explained that she felt that she was often compared to her siblings’ success. She explained:

I always felt like, ‘well you should be grateful that you got into a college.’ Then, I always felt like when we were talking to other about it, my parents would always be like, ‘My eldest daughter went to UC Davis or she graduated from UC Davis and my little brother is going to George Washington University achieving all these goals. And she goes to SFSU.’ And that’s it. They didn’t really say much about it. Other people would be like, ‘”Oh that’s not like a bad college.” And they’re like, “Yeah it’s okay.”

There was an expectation that she had to live up. When one of her siblings graduated

from a UC school and the other sibling is currently attending a prestigious university, she

felt pressured from her parents because she was attending a state university. Being told

that she needed to be grateful for attending a university lowered her self-esteem and self- worth. The United States education system, UCs or even other prestigious universities were seen as something that proved success. At a state university, this success failed to

compare. Karen always felt compared to her siblings’ success. Her success did not meet

or compare to her siblings’ achievements. Her siblings often overlooked her

achievements.

In addition to Karen, Jessie, an undergraduate, shared a similar experience. She

explained that she has often been compared to her older sister that went to UC Davis. She

stated:

My mother, especially when she sees friends in Chinatown, just random friends from the village in China or friends from her past jobs. She would be like, “Oh this is my youngest daughter!” and they would be like, “Oh she’s so pretty! She’s so tall!” “Oh well, my other one is in Irvine right now. She’s doing really well.’ 109

My parents would also sometimes say that they wished that I went to a UC just because it’ll sound better when they compared us to their friends’ children.

Jessie expressed that she had a similar experience of when her parents compared her older sister’s achievements. Parents used their children as bragging material to compare to other family’s children. Both Karen and Jessie experienced some kind of comparison to their family friends. For Jessie, there was this expectation to attend a UC school. Jessie stated that her parents wished that she went to an UC School. UC schools to her, was seen as a top school that people strive to get admission. Due to the name of the schools, parents often believed that their child should attend a top public university.

Moreover, Sara explained that she felt that she was the black sheep of her family.

She explained that she often felt the pressures to live up to her sibling’s expectations. She stated:

I have a younger brother, a sister, and an older brother. The older brother was the one that was hella smart, the one that got good grades, the one that would go to the UCs, the one that can get into Princeton, and getting good scores on the SATs. I tried to live up to that expectation, but it felt that I wasn’t being myself. I love my brother and I know all my siblings are smart. They all went to UC Irvine, except for me. I went to UC Riverside. I was like the fucking reject! I wanted to go to Irvine so bad.

Sara felt like the black sheep of the family because she could not meet her siblings’ achievements. While her siblings all went to UC Irvine, she went to UC Riverside. She explained that she tried to live up to her older brother’s expectations, but she felt that she was not being herself. When she compared to herself with her siblings, she felt like a reject for not getting into the school of her dream. Her confidence was low because of 110

feeling like a reject. She knew that she could do what her siblings could accomplish. She was unable to get into the school that she saw as success.

Glen explained that the family comparison and expectation actually caused family tension between him and his own younger brother. He explained that:

My younger brother was the one who outshined me. There was this unease between us and we were close in age. We were treated as twins. When he started getting good grades, and kept up the good grades, I started to trail off is when I started feeling inferior to him. I started to compare myself to him. I definitely felt the role reversal. We were put on the same pedestal. It didn’t matter that, ‘Oh, I’m older, he’s looking to up to me.’ It was more like, ‘he’s surpassing me.’ And at that time, he felt miles away.

Glen experienced the comparison with his younger brother. In some ways, this comparison led to family tension between his younger brother and him. Glen expressed at a young age, they were often treated like twins. When they were younger, Glen’s younger brother exceeded him, switching the family roles and being placed at a similar expectation. When he found that his brother was excelling, he felt that inferior towards his brother. As a result, this tension between them started. He felt that his brother excelled while he was failing while he was trailing off.

For impostors, they would compare their abilities to other people. From the interviewees, they express that their families do compare themselves to other people.

These people include family members or friends. From the impostors, the parents seemed to have minimal things to say about their child’s accomplishments. With the lack of praise, impostors may feel that their achievements are not as successful as their siblings or cousins. Impostors strive to be the best in order to please their parents and meet their Ill

expectations. For some, competition forces people to strive to be better than the other.

This competition can cause tension within the family and relationships with friends.

Racialized College Experience and the Impostor Phenomenon

The Asian American educational experience is shaped through the model minority

stereotype. The stereotype labels Asian Americans as “motivated, self-sufficient,

successful, and hard working” and is able to achieve the American Dream without much

support (Lee 2009). The model minority stereotype sets a standard that Asian Americans

must meet. From the interviews, the model minority stereotype has done some damage to

the participants’ abilities and mental health. According to Lee (2009), she explained that,

“the [model minority] stereotype masked the variation in achievement among Asian

American students and was being used against underachieving African American

students” (p. 18). The model minority renders Asian Americans as the perfect

individuals that have achieved success regardless socioeconomic backgrounds. The

stereotype does mask the flaws of some Asian Americans. The model minority is used as

a microaggression to control Asian American college students.

Jessie explained that she believe that going into the Biochemistry would get her a job because she thinks that the science field is a lucrative for Asian Americans. She

expressed that:

It’s [science majors] something that a lot of Asians people strive for because it’s a lucrative field and I thought that a lot of Asians are really good science. I think it’s because science is universal compared to like being an English Professor or something that is affected by a language barrier. 112

Jessir believed that many Asian Americans go into the science field because any other job would be hard due to a language barrier. To Jessie she believed that the science field was a lucrative field. In a way, she believed that Asian Americans were seen as people that cannot speak English as well as others. This might affect their chances in any other occupations that they might be interested in. In the science field, it might be different for them because of how science was universal. The language barrier affected many Asian

American college students in the United States. With this assumption of Asian American college students of having a language barrier, they may have gone into the science field because of the racial microaggression. This was a constant microaggression towards

Asian Americans ability to speak fluent English that might affect their chances in different majors.

In addition to Karen’s experience, Gretchen dealt with internalized racism because of the assumption of the model minority. She stated:

My math scores were bad and I was placed into remedial math when I came to SF State. I think I somewhat internalized those feelings.. .1 realized that I was one of the only Asian kids in the class and I felt, ‘Wow, maybe I am supposed to be good at these things.’ But I’m not.

Gretchen experienced some kind internalized racism when she started at San Francisco

State University. When placed into the remedial math courses, she started to believe that

Asian Americans a were supposed to be good at science or math. When she realized that she was the only Asian American student, she internalized the idea that she was supposed to good at math. The internal microaggressions that she went through her mind 113

contributed to her lack of confidence because of being the only Asian American in her remedial math class. She felt that she needed to be good at math because of the model minority. This experience reminded her being incapable in math.

Furthermore, Lex expressed that when he entered college, his father continued to push him towards the science field. He explained that,

Those letters kept coming in for STD [Subject to Dismissal], I was already over STDs; it was to get my GPA over this hump. We saw the advisor again. My dad was disappointed that I got kicked out of the major [Biology], I was able to get my major GPA above state eligible at UCR. My dad was like, “Okay, you’re ready to go into Biology now so you can become a medical doctor.” I was like, “N o.. .mom says I can do whatever I want.” “No you need to become a medical doctor so you can become rich.”

During his college experience, Lex’s GPA dropped below the GPA average for the UC

Riverside. As a result, he received letters of dismissal because of his grades. Lex felt like a failure because he was kicked out of the major and as a result, he disappointed his dad.

His new goal was surpass the minimal GPA requirement for UC Riverside. Once he got the minimal requirement to stay at UC Riverside, his father continued to pressure him to get back into Biology. His father stated, “No, you need to become a medical doctor so you can become rich,” was a reminder of the microaggression that Asian American may face in college from their parents. Asian Americans were constantly reminded that their place in society is through the science field. Although that his father wanted him to go into the medical field, there was tension between his father and him. Lex had a different goal that to what his father wanted. When he expressed that he wanted to do whatever he 114

wanted, however his dad reminded him that he needed to pursue a career that can earn money.

In another experience, students may assume that because one is Asian American, they should be skilled in one subject: Math. Karen had been racialized during her college experience. She stated that:

Freshmen year, in the dorms, my first memory in the dorms was walking through the hallways, this girl stuck her head out of her dorm room, and asked me, “Oh you’re Asian! Can you help me with my math homework?” I told her, “I’m not really good with math.” “Oh don’t worry, you’re probably better than me in math.” She automatically assumed that I was good at math because I looked Asian. Then I went to help her and I didn’t know how to do this math.

Karen was reminded about the expectations that people had of Asian Americans. People assumed that because Karen was Asian, she was supposed to be good at math. When she expressed, “I’m not really good with math,” the individual did not believe that she was telling the truth. Due to Karen’s race, the other college student assumed that she was really good math. The statement, “Oh you’re Asian! Can you help me with my homework?” was a racial microaggression that some Asian Americans received. This showed that it was a constant reminder that Asian Americans were good at math. When pressured, Karen expressed that she was not able to help other college student. She forgot and did not know how to accomplish the task. She felt ashamed for not being able to do the math.

The model minority stereotype is associated with the impostor phenomenon. The model minority sets the standard that most Asian American college students must meet. 115

The model minority is a microaggression that controls Asian American college students and reminds them about the standard that they must uphold. Whether it is the career or study, Asian American college students are expected to go into hard sciences because that is seen as the standard. The model minority stereotype is constantly used to remind Asian

American college students the skills they need to be good at. From the experiences from the participants, some have been generalized due to this stereotype. With this constant aggression, the challenges Asian American college students face comes into light.

The Results o f the Model Minority

The model minority is a dangerous stereotype that harms Asian American college students because of how it masks issues of some Asian Americans. From the masking of their underachievement, research has shown that “there are harmful effects associated with its internalization such as psychological distress and poor well-being” (Henfield et. al 2014, p. 138). This internalization is the model minority stereotype and its effect on one’s self. Some of the participants were racialized during college because the model minority expectations. Due to the stress of the model minority, Asian American college students often experience psychological distress because different factors contributing to their impostor feelings.

Based on assumptions, Karen expressed that other students, other than her, fit into the stereotype. She stated:

Basically, my classmates assumed that I was a good kid, and thought that I would do fine, and that I would get good grades: not true. They would be surprised that I got a lower grade than them. I guess always felt like I was more of a 116

disappointment to them than my siblings. They were always more studious and had better grades. They’re more fitting to the Asian standards than I was.

Karen knew that she did not fit into the model minority stereotype, even though people saw her as the good student and excelling students. However, the model minority hid this experience. She struggled compared to her siblings. Her siblings received better grades and she believed that they fit into the model minority stereotype. She saw that her siblings were the studious children that received good grades. She felt that she did not fit the Asian standard and was seen as the disappointment to some because she could not fit the model minority stereotype. Her siblings on the other hand, in her perspective, fit into the standard of being Asian. Furthermore, from Karen’s experience, her classmates expressed that they were shocked to find out that she got a lower grade than them.

In addition to Karen, Carlos expressed his frustration for not meeting the expectations during parts of his college experience. He explained:

[The] semester that I took a semester off, I felt like I was failing my family, my education, and myself. I was thinking suicidal thoughts. I just thought, “This is the end of it. Why continue to grind, only to grind?’ I’m going through the grind and there will never be a perfect and polished me.

During the interview, Carlos stated that he had to take a semester off because of family issues. He believed that he was failing his family, himself, and his education because he believed that he could not be perfect. As a result, he developed suicidal thoughts because he constantly believed that he could not achieve the perfect model minority image. The statement, “Why continue to grind, only to grind?” showed that he constantly sought to be perfect because of how society continued to put onto Asian Americans through racial 117

microaggressions. The grinding took a toll onto his mental health because of the pressures of being Asian American. This constant pressure that Carlos experienced showed that detriment of microaggressions on Asian Americans reminder to strive for perfection. This is related to the impostor phenomenon because of being perfectionist.

For some Asian American students, some may not believe that they face any struggle. For Gretchen, she believed that the model minority stereotype has impacted in how people have perceived her in college. She explained that:

When I think about the model minority, the three main words that I think of are perfection, achievement, and standards. Fellow peers come to me for advice, whether it is personal issues, how to navigate leadership positions, or other things and they come to me with an idea that I have everything together. If I were to disclose that I’m struggling, they seem to either connect with me or share their struggle or they don’t seem to believe that.

Gretchen expressed that the model minority can be described in three words: perfection, achievement, and standards. Gretchen had to portray an image that she had everything together because of people’s assumptions due to the model minority. She believed that if she was tell other individuals, some may not believe that she was struggling because

Asian Americans were seen as the perfect minority. With the constant hiding, she felt pressure not to expose her issues because of how society saw Asian Americans. Asian

Americans had to portray that perfect minority and uphold expectations that others. They have to achieve these standards that were placed on to them. 118

Furthermore, Lex explained that that microaggressions was the cause for someone to develop the impostor phenomenon. The racialization of Asian American contributes to one’s impostor phenomenon development.

When we talk about the impostor feelings, I’m just thinking about all these expectations from the parents, expectations from all these people. I always had this guilt that I had to be better than what was expected.. .Once I understood that, it was like...it’s rooted in colonialism, it’s rooted in imperialism, it’s rooted in race. I always relate it to health.. .as a diabetic, it’s not something that was my fault.. .You didn’t create these standards, it was created by somebody else. That’s why you feel like an impostor. Being an impostor, it contributes to the detriment to a lot of people’s health.. .People go through microaggressions, that’s for real. Microaggressions as the impostor phenomenon, that’s for real. People being depressed, it’s not because they’re sad, there’s shit that is imposed on them.

Lex expressed that the expectations came from external forces such as parents and others.

He felt the pressure and the guilt that he needed to be better to show others that he could do it. He realized that the impostor phenomenon was built from imperialism, racism, and colonialism. The model minority and the impostor phenomenon have an extreme impact on an individual’s health because it led to depression and other health problems. He expressed that racism played a factor to someone developing the impostor phenomenon because of the mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. He addressed that the impostor phenomenon expectations were contributed by external standards that influences someone developing these feelings. Due to the stress of racialization of Asian

Americans, Lex developed diabetes as the result of the pressures and expectations that he had to meet. He felt that he needed to succeed and as a result, he developed chronic disease that impacted his daily life. 119

Sara expressed how pressures of the model minority had impacted her experience in college. She believed that the model minority stereotype is a hegemonic force that places these expectations on Asian Americans. She stated:

It [UCR] was 40% Asian Americans during that time, it was a huge amount of Asian Americans. How many of those were committing suicide out of the dorms because of that pressure and expectations of being the model minority?.. .It’s like this unspoken expectation. Hegemony is a bitch, ain’t it? It’s like everyone knows this myth exists and no one challenges it unless you’re critical of it. Even in spaces of education, the myth is strong and if this is how education and educators see Asian Americans then how does that translate into the classrooms? It’s one helluva myth and it seeps into a lot of folk’s expectations. This can cause so much stress, depression, and mental issues with Asian American both young and old.

From her experience at the UC Riverside, she was an activist for Asian American

Women issues. She expressed that there was a high suicide rate of Asian Americans because of the model minority stereotype. UC Riverside’s Asian American student population was at 40% when she attended. Asian Americans faced depression issues because of the expectations from the model minority and racial microaggressions. She explained that the model minority was an unspoken expectation that was placed onto

Asian Americans in education. The model minority stereotype set the standards that

Asian Americans to meet. She believed, and still does, that the model minority has a detriment onto Asian American mental health because of the pressures when they could not meet a certain expectation. Through hegemony, no one challenged the stereotype because of how embedded it was, and still is, in society. Even in education, Asian

Americans developed depression through the classroom because of how some teachers saw their students. She explained that the model minority seeps into the standards that 120

were present within the education system and can be translated into the classroom setting.

She expressed the model minority stereotype can impact Asian Americans, both old and young in society.

The model minority stereotype has a great impact on Asian American mental health. From the participants, they developed their own mental health and physical health problems such as diabetes. The model minority stereotype placed a standard that Asian

Americans must achieve. As a result of the pressure to be the perfect, achieving students, it impacts the health of Asian Americans because of impostor phenomenon. Through the internalization of the model minority expectations, Asian Americans develop their own impostor phenomenon because of feeling of not meeting the expectations from society.

Conclusion and Analysis

The racialization of Asian Americans as the model minority does impact an individuals’ life because of establishments of standards and expectations. The model minority stereotype sets different standards that Asian Americans must meet. This image of perfection, high-achievers, and being smart are the standards that are placed onto

Asian American students. Some Asian Americans are able to meet these standards, however, some may not. These standards are constantly reminded for Asian Americans college students to pursue a successful career in hard sciences. Peers, teachers, and family members would use microaggressions in order to maintain certain power over Asian

American students. These microaggression would remind Asian American students the areas that they must excel in. The model minority hides the flaws and obstacles that some 121

Asian American college students who do not fit into the stereotype. As a result, for those who do not meet these standards may somewhat develop the impostor phenomenon.

The model minority does influence the impostor phenomenon. Impostors constantly have the urge to be perfectionists. The urge of being a perfect person comes from the stress of the model minority stereotype. The stress to be perfect comes from society and families. This stress continues to be placed onto Asian American college students because of how they are perceived. Some Asian American college students strive to be the best and the perfect student and child. As a result, Asian American college students are afraid of failing and having other people find out about their flaws. The stress of the model minority and the impostor feelings that can create takes a toll onto their health. This constant fear and stress create psychological distress in Asian American college students. From the participants, they have developed symptoms of depression and anxiety that is associated with the racial stress and the impostor phenomenon. Some even developed a life changing disease such diabetes.

Understanding the experiences of Asian Americans who are dealing with the impostor phenomenon continue may be difficult due to the model minority stereotype.

The model minority prevents any exploration of Asian American issues. These issues consist of mental health and poor academic performances. As a result, some Asian

Americans students may feel isolated and helpless because they do not know how to cope with such feelings. Learning to manage these feelings may present some trouble In the 122

next chapter, it will discuss and go over the coping mechanisms that other Asian

Americans have recommended to managing the impostor phenomenon. 123

Chapter 6: Coping with the Impostor Phenomenon

“Do your best and try your hardest. That’s all I ask for. ” - Lex

In Chapter Five, the participants discussed their experience with racialization and how it led to their development of the impostor phenomenon. The purpose of this chapter is to discuss the different coping mechanisms of handling the impostor phenomenon.

Each person has their own way of handling and managing their impostor feelings. Clance

(1985) wrote, “but change isn’t always easy, especially when the patterns have existed for a long, long time, and especially when the IP victims have the superstitious notion that he or she has to suffer in order to be successful. Trying to believe otherwise often can be frightening too” (p. 138). According to Clance, it might be hard for IP victims to feel like they believe, “it’s important to understand, too, how the success that occurs actually reinforces the whole, making the impostor very wary of change (Clance 1985, p. 134).

All 10 participants were asked how they coped with their impostor feelings and how they learned to manage their impostor feelings. During the interview, a majority of the participants stated three major themes around how they dealt with their impostor feelings:

• Establishing a support system;

• Validation of self-worth and self-determination.

• Reflecting through Asian American and Ethnic Studies courses; 124

Support System

For IP survivors, it is important to find a support system, a community that they can go to talk about their feelings. One thing that Clance highly emphasizes as a remedy to the impostor feeling is finding that support system. According to Clance (1985), IP victim supporters should, “help IP suffers identify what is happening to them. Assure them that they are not alone in their suffering or in their beliefs that they can’t continue doing well. Tell them that many successful people are haunted by the same kinds of fears” (p. 188). IP survivors, in a supported system, can help reinforce their positive accomplishments and make them feel valued. Having a best friend, a romantic partner, or a mentor may help IP survivors’ address their emotional issued through feeling inadequate.

As the second interviewee, Jessie sought support from her boyfriend when she felt like an impostor. She believed that talking to her boyfriend helped her understand her current situation. She stated:

He would say things like, “this will be over soon, just two more months. Two months to go and after that, you won’t see them anymore. You won’t have to be dependent on them. It’s a not a big of a deal.” I feel like I’m making things into a big deal. I’m overly dramatic.. .1 feel a little better, but not much because he’s a sophomore and I’m a junior.

Jessie sought support from her boyfriend. Even though she stressed about her academics and her extracurricular activities, she was able to find that support from her boyfriend because he was able to tell her that she should not worry about the things that were holding her down. Although she felt that her boyfriend may not understand how she felt, 125

she was still able to see him as a support system that she needed in both academics and in her student organization.

In addition to Jessie’s experience, Glen created a social support system during his first year as a MA student. He stated:

The only time that it [the impostor phenomenon] was most prevalent was last semester. It was the time that I felt like an impostor.. .how did I cope? My brother was a big factor; I talked to him, hung out with him. The support from him, support from a professor because she is actually one of the supportive faculty that was on my team. She reached out and said, ‘Value what you have,’ and support from my martial arts school. I remember going back sometime in November, it felt like coming home. They said, ‘I know you’re not at performances anymore, but we’re all very proud of you.’ To know that I’m not writing for myself, I’m doing it for them.

Glen created a connection with his younger brother and a support system at San

Francisco State University’s Asian American Studies faculty. His brother, who is pursuing his doctorate in Psychology, became his support system because they were able to relate to each other’s obstacles. In addition to his brother, he felt that the professor was a great support system when he was struggling through the program. Having a faculty member that valued his input made him feel that he was valued and that he had a place at the Asian American Studies MA program. Outside of the program, he had his martial arts school that he saw a great support system. They knew that he was busy with school, and being able to go back to his school, he felt like he was home. The communities that he established at San Francisco State University and his martial arts program allowed him to cope with his self-doubts about his abilities. He realized that his thesis about Filipino

Martials and how it is hidden within Filipino dance is not about himself, but for a longer 126

purpose, it was for his community. From his support system, he was able to cope with his impostor feelings, and he is now finishing up his first year as a graduate student.

Furthermore, Karen reached out to professional help and the community to help her cope with her impostor feelings. She stated:

Mostly through a lot of therapy. I mean, I’m still in therapy. I’m not taking anti­ depressants. I still have issues with anxiety and stuff. I mean talking to the therapist, to my professor, actually talking to my parents a little bit, and having my boyfriend there to encouraging me, it basically helped me get out of your comfort zone so I can expand it. By doing this, I helped me look at things at new perspective and realize that if you look at it slightly differently, you can change your whole entire view, it wouldn’t be as bad as you thought it was.

Karen explained that going to therapy allowed her heal from her impostor phenomenon and her anxiety. She also reached out to therapist and addressed her issues. This allowed her to get out of her impostor zone. Finding that support system for her allowed her to grow and realize that it was a perspective that she got to experience by reaching out to other people like her partner, a professor, and a therapists. These supporters allowed her to change her views and the way that she thought about herself. When she was experiencing self-doubt about her abilities, she reached out of her friends and addressed her feelings to others. She gained a new perspective that allowed her to grow into a new person and be able to manage her impostor feelings. She learned how to change those negative feelings into positives by talking to her support system.

Gretchen stated that talking with her friends allowed her to address her impostor feelings. She explained: 127

I’ve been able to share it with my friends. It’s tiring to constantly to reassure somebody, but when they know what you’re going through, it’s easier. So for my friend that I shared my impostor feelings is, having another moment, and the need to let it out, they would be like, ‘okay, let’s talk about it.’ They ask, ‘Why do you feel that way?’ They’re kind of my therapists and that’s what friends are for. They kind of know and it’s kind of the matter where, if they go through it, that I’m there to listen. It’s constant dialogue of reflecting and listening. So we’re there for each other. Building the network of support is really important, especially if you feel that there’s no support. It’s the hardest position to be in. I am lucky to have people that support me, who listen, and affirm when I need it.

When Gretchen first learned about the impostor phenomenon, she started talking about her impostor feelings to her friends. She felt that it might have been tiring to reassure some body about their abilities, but if they can understand where she was coming from, it was easier to address the feelings. She felt that she could easily talk to her friends about her impostor feelings because she felt that they were able to connect with her. They shared similar feelings and they knew her the best and saw that she was able to accomplish so much. She felt that that her community was like her own therapists because they were able to listen to each other and communicate their impostor feelings and reassure each other that they could do it. She felt that through constant dialogue and listening, she was able to build a closer bond with her friends. Her friends asking, “why do you feel that way?” allowed her to address and affirm her accomplishments. She stated that building a support system was important because dealing with the impostor phenomenon alone was hard for her. She believed that she was lucky to have supportive people around her and who affirmed her best qualities and achievements. 128

For Sara, she had mentors that she was able to rely on when she and her students were going through the impostor phenomenon. She stated:

If it wasn’t for really good mentors for kicking me in the butt an was like, “If you had a student in PEP right now, who was struggling the way that you are struggling, they came to you and was like, ‘Yo, I can’t do this. I quit. I give up.’ What would you say to them? I would tell them, “Get it together! You know who you’re doing this for; it’s for a larger purpose!” Then he looked at me, “Then follow your own advice.” You know, you’re right! It only takes something like that to change my attitude. There are some people in your life, who will not hold back and tell you, “Bitch, get it together!” I am blessed to be surrounded by people to do that to me, even my students and my mentees.

For Sara, she was able to work with mentors that pushed to think about how others may be experiencing the impostor phenomenon. Mentors asking her to place herself into the person’s shoes taught her that she should practice what she preached. By telling other people that their purpose was a far greater one than they expected, she realized the importance of realizing her community’s belief in her. Having a community was important to her in coping with her impostor feelings because of the support she received.

She had people to tell her, “Bitch, get it together!” and seeing that her role in the community was important, she felt that she could not let her own doubts dwell. IP survivors need a community to manage their impostor feelings because within their communities, their contributions were important and helped others. When her mentor gave her the scenario, she realized that she needed to remind herself that she needed to encourage herself to overcome her doubts. Like her students, she needed to reflect on her own doubts to able support others that were going through the same impostor feelings of doubt. Her community was important for her to cope with her feelings. 129

Self-worth/Self-Determ ination

It is important for IP survivors to find their own self-worth. From connecting with a support system, they learn about their positive qualities and learn to accept that their own imperfections. For an impostor, it might be hard to hear the positive compliments from other people because impostors are focused on their flaws. Being able to recognize alone, truly can build confidence in the person. Learning to have self-worth and self- determination is a way to maintain one’s impostor feelings.

Sara stated that there was no playbook in life and that individuals have to go onto their own roads:

No body knows what the fuck you’re doing. You haven’t lived 20 years to know what you fucked up 20 years before. You make it up as you go. Same with parenting, you’re not a fucking parent unless you have kids. When you do have that kid, what are you going to do to keep this kid alive!? There’s no playbook for life, there’s no playbook for anything. Whatever you create and do down the road, you gotta be okay with it.. .You never know. Life’s too short for doubts. Sometimes, you just have to do it, even if people hold you back or hold yourself back. I think that I always have to say that to myself because I have children. I tell them the same thing: don’t give up. If I tell her not to give or him not give up, I have to tell myself that too.

Sara expressed that because one person has not lived for this amount of years, they could not reflect on their own accomplishments. Different individuals made up their own paths and grew from it. As a mother, she made mistakes and she grew from those errors. She stated that in life there was no playbook for anything that one person strived to accomplish because some college students have not lived long enough to experience and grow from their failures. She expressed that students should follow their own road, take 130

risks, and be okay with their decisions. She expressed that life is too short to dwell on self-doubt. When people hold a person back or they hold themselves back, they have to take the risk and do it. As a mother of two young children, she expressed that she never wants them to give up on what they want to do. When she told her daughter and son not to give up, she had to remind herself that she could not give up on what she was meant to do in her life. She grew from her impostor feelings because she found her self worth because she was able to grow as a person and become a mother with minimal support.

She found her self-worth and believed that she couldn’t give up on her herself because of the two new lives that she needed to support. Through reflection, she found her self- worth as a person and was able to overcome and manage her impostor feelings.

Lex expressed that as a father, he explained to his daughter that one should never give up. He stated:

If you strive for something that’s someone else’s standards, it’s going to hurt you.. .If she fails on a test, “did you try your best?” “Yeah” “well that’s all you can do.” But if I ask her, “did you do your best?” “Nah, I could have done this a little better.” “Good you learned from your mistakes. Move on.” Whenever she falls on her ass and feels disappointed, I would tell her, “Don’t feel disappointed, these are learning moments. This is what’s going to make you stronger at the end.” I feel like you have to get it to them young as possible. Normalize it for them, instead of, “Damn, you fucking suck!”.. .Don’t do that to your younger brother because as the younger sibling, my brother would say that to me, “Are you stupid? Look at you, you’re crying again. Look at you, you’re not strong enough.” When your brother grows up, he’s going to compare himself with you all the time. You’re the older sister. You gotta tell him, “you gotta do what you gotta do.”

As a father, Lex taught his children to have self-worth because he believes that their mistakes will make them stronger. He stated that he wanted his kids to know that they 131

should do their best and try their hardest. They should never try to meet someone’s standards because it would hurt them in the long run. As a result of his experience from his brother discouraging him, he never wanted to treat his children to believe that they are not good enough. He stated that he would encourage his children to grow from their mistakes and never dwell from their disappointments and that they should move on from their mistakes. He stated that people should normalize the importance self-worth onto their children. He stated that normalization of self-worth and the idea that not giving up and grow from failures was important. From his experience, his brother constantly told him that he was stupid, degrading his self-worth. Being a father, his goal was to teach his children that failure would only make them stronger in the long run. He wanted his daughter to know that her younger brother would compare himself to her in the future.

The idea that individuals, “gotta do what you gotta do,” is important. Saying, “you gotta do what you gotta do,” tells others that you need to do what would get you to the place that you feel successful. He also stated the importance of finding your purpose and not following one’s expectations for standards. He stated: “I think it’s two things. One is finding your purpose and second, what are the standards and who developed those standard to impose onto you that you’re not good enough.” Realizing that greater forces imposed the standards, he felt that finding your personal purpose was key to dismantling one’s impostor feelings. This way, he saw that finding a purpose allowed one to feel validated and allowed them to find their worth in themselves. 132

When Gretchen was working on her curriculum vitae, she doubted her abilities because she felt that she did not accomplish as much. However, through, her own reflection, she was able to find her own self-worth. She stated:

Even when I’m working on my CV, I couldn’t write anything because I couldn’t recall on the achievements that I did. When I sat and saw the things that I did achieve, I had several pages. I saw that I have achieved more than I actually did because I kept blocking it out. I kept thinking that I needed to work harder and that these things don’t count. There’s a lot of convincing that happened.. .it.. .confirmed a lot of good feelings.

Being able to reflect on the achievements allowed Gretchen to develop good feelings about herself and her accomplishments. When she stated that she “couldn’t recall on the achievements,” she removed those achievements and focused more on her faults. She felt that she needed to work harder at the small things that did not really have much impact on her overall success. As an impostor, she often stressed over the failures instead of focusing on the positive outcomes. She dwelled on her failures because she felt that the positive achievements did not really matter or had more significant meaning to her. After she reflected on her achievements, she realized that she was able to fill in several pages of her vitae. Seeing how she was able to do this, she felt good about herself because she did a significant amount of work in her life.

Reflection Through Asian American Studies/Ethnic Studies

Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies courses serve as a tool to allow students to reflect on their experiences and share them with other individuals. Through a strong community and connections, some were able to learn to manage and cope with 133

their impostor feelings. The participants’ stated that they believed that through Asian

American Studies and Ethnic Studies courses, they were able to embrace their struggles and realize, that through solidarity, they could connect others that were going through similar problems with the impostor phenomenon. According to Clance (1985), supporters should, “be willing to support the victim when they experience sadness, fear, and anger as they recognize more about themselves and their families” (p. 190). Asian American

Studies or Ethnic Studies allow for students to find a sense of support from their classes.

Carlos believed that recognizing that other people that were going through the impostor phenomenon can help acknowledge and heal the pain from the impostor feelings. Carlos introduced unity clapping called “Isang Bagsak” (Tagalog: One Down).

He stated:

When you take things one at a time, you prioritize and get to relieve that problem and move on. There’s saying in Tagalog, “Isang Bagsak!”.. .It differs from organizations. For the most part, it’s recognizing the struggle that you went through.. .1 know [my professor] did it in her class. It [the clap] recognized that we went through this moment together and it’s moving on.. .To connect back to the impostor feelings, you take it as it comes and deal with it one by one and always move on to the next, so that you’re not always stagnant stagnate.

Isang Bagsak allowed him and others to realize that they shared similar obstacles in their lives. For him, Isang Bagsak allowed him to realize the importance of moving on instead of dwelling on failures. Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies allow solidarity between racial groups. This participant saw that the clap united people through similar obstacles or struggles. He connected the clap back to the impostor phenomenon because he saw that dwelling on the past failures made him and other feel stagnant. With him 134

stating, “You take it as it comes and deal with it one by one and always move onto the next,” he expressed that in order to deal with the impostor phenomenon, the IP victim needs to take their struggles one a time and tackle each thing individually. Through

Ethnic Studies and Asian American Studies, he felt that the clap allowed him to move on from his past struggles.

Karen expressed that through Asian American Studies, she learned how to connect and realize why her parents had such a huge influence on her impostor feelings.

She stated:

They have their views and the reasons why they think of what’s right and wrong. It made a societal difference, which is why my professor’s class was really helpful because it made me able to connect to how my parents grew up.

Through Asian American Studies, Karen was able to realize where her pressures were coming from. Asian American Studies allowed her to see that her anxiety was coming from an external force, from her parents and other things. This study allows students to learn about the external forces that were present that shaped their parents’ views of success and the pressures that they exuded.

Lex came to study at San Francisco State University to change the world.

Through his connections with Asian American Studies, he learned another importance of allow voices to be heard. He stated:

I went into Asian American Studies to change the world. I didn’t go into Asian American studies to get a master or move to San Francisco. I wanted to voice the experience that I was going through and the experience that did work. Yo, this is the shit that works to building leaders in terms of taking down this impostor phenomenon. A lot of the time, there’s all these things that are imposed on you, 135

and if you feel like you don’t fit it, then you’ll feel like a failure. I learned throughout my life, these standards of me not getting tenured track position or me, for about five years of applying sporadically and not getting it, it’s their fucking lose.

He expressed that Asian American Studies allowed him to share the experiences of Asian

Americans. Through this, he felt that sharing these experience allowed others to dismantle their own impostor feelings. He wanted to share the ways that he dismantled his impostor phenomenon and it was through voicing his experiences of self-doubt and failure. By going through Asian American Studies, he realized that the reason why he didn’t fit in and why he felt like failure was due to external institutional forces that caused him to develop his impostor feelings. He dismantled his impostor feelings by being involved in a community where he could foster leadership.

Conclusion and Analysis

Finding a way to cope with impostor feelings are tough. For Asian American college students, they may feel hopeless and isolated. From the interviews, the participants’ relied on different factors in helping them manage the feeling of hopelessness and loneliness. They believed that finding a system of support, self-worth, and Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies courses. These themes that the participants stated helped them cope with their impostor phenomenon.

Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies courses can help cope with the impostor phenomenon. In some way, these courses provided solidarity among students because it allowed them to see other students were going through the same feelings and 136

issues. Some participants believed that through these classes, they were able to establish a sense of connection between their classmates, having a better understanding of the relationship they had with their parents, and having a voice to address an issue that was currently harming their communities. Some expressed that a unity clap allowed them to see that they overcame a problem that others have gone through. This created a safe place for others to learn and grow from their problems. From attending an Asian American

Studies course, others found an understanding of why their parents were contributing to their parents. For one participant, through the guidance of her professor, she learned the experiences of her parents being in the United States. Asian American Studies and Ethnic

Studies provided her the resources to understand where her impostor feelings came from.

Lastly, Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies courses provided a student a podium to address an issue that impacted him. Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies courses validate the experience of individuals who have experienced something detrimental to them. These courses provided students a voice to address their concerns.

Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies courses became a place for healing and coping for the participants.

Creating a support system can further help an individual that is experiencing the impostor phenomenon. Most of participants reached out to people such as their partners, mentors, professors, and therapists. One of my participants reached out to her partner to address feeling of success. She believed in the support that she got from him during a complicated time when she felt like a failure. Two of my participants reached out because 137

they felt that they could trust other these people with their impostor feelings. Having

friends that would ask questions like, “why do you feel that way?” or have a teacher that

would tell you, “value what you have” was important to my participants because it helped

them express their concerns about their talents. One participant stated that she had a

mentor that helped realize her purpose in her organization. Being able to realize that her

skills were needed in helping students in her organization was the support that she wanted. She expressed that the support that she got from her organization was crucial in

coping with her impostor feelings because of how they continue to encourage her because

it provided her a sense of value of being in her position. Finding a support system is

crucial in coping with the impostor phenomenon. In addition to finding a support system,

Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies courses provide a sense of healing for some

impostor survivors.

Validating one’s self-worth is crucial to managing the impostor phenomenon.

The participants have stated that they reflected to find their self-worth. Two of participants believed that reflection allowed one to find self-worth in your

accomplishments. Through reflection, they felt better after realizing that they have done tremendous work for their communities. These two experiences highlight that reflection truly allowed them to manage their impostor feelings because it allowed them to see their

successes. One participant believed that normalizing failure allowed him to feel that their

successes meant something, even though they failed. Normalizing failure may allow future IP survivors, for example his daughter, to learn, grow, and move on from her 138

failures and take them as learning experiences instead of dwelling on the mistakes that she might have accomplished in her early stages of her life.

These three themes: a place of healing through finding a support system, self- worth, and Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies allowed me to answer my research question about coping. These themes allowed my participants to learn, cope, and manage their impostor feelings. They learned that they were not the only ones that were going through these feelings. From personal reflection to self-worth, finding one’s own support group, and sharing personal stories and healing from them in Asian American

Studies and Ethnic Studies courses, provided my participants the sense of belonging and the strength needed to overcome their impostor feelings. 139

Chapter 7: Conclusion

It has been a journey for me to even write something this extensive and

meaningful thesis. This study examined how the impostor phenomenon impacts Asian

Americans college students in education. Their experiences were traced from the their K-

12 schooling to college. My thesis was guided by these questions:

1. How do Asian Americans college students experience the impostor’s

phenomenon?

2. How does the racialization in particular the model minority impact how Asian

American college students have and are currently experiencing the impostor

phenomenon?

3. How does family expectations play factor in the development of the impostor

phenomenon in Asian American college students?

4. How do Asian American college students cope with the impostor phenomenon?

Summary of Findings

Figuring out how the impostor phenomenon impacted Asian American college

students was a difficult task. By using a mixed method approach allowed me to see the

experiences of Asian American college students who were and still are dealing with the

impostor phenomenon. This mixed method approach gave a complete narrative of which

impostor feelings they experienced. Through the quantitative research, it allowed me to

see the impostor feelings that Asian American college students have developed. I learned 140

how and where Asian American college students developed their impostor feelings

through the interviews.

Quantitative Findings. My research questions were: a) How do Asian American college

students experience the impostor phenomenon? b) What are the impostor characteristics

that Asian American college students experience? and c) Is there an association between

the experiences of racialization and the impostor phenomenon? From the surveys, Asian

Americans averaged a total score of impostor score of 62.3, which meant that Asian

American experience frequent impostor feelings. Compared to other research that is done

on the impostor phenomenon, this score is considered to be high. The top five impostor

characteristics that Asian American college students felt were: the feeling of being

incompetent, feeling of not being successful, feeling intellectually inadequate, self-doubt,

and feeling guilty of success. The three lowest concerns that the students were: avoiding

evaluations from others, accepting praise for achievements, and repeating success.

The second goal of the quantitative research was to find the association between

the racialization of Asian Americans and the impostor phenomenon. Two additional

statements were included to figure out the association between these two concepts. Item

one addressed the model minority stereotype. Item two addressed the assumption that

Asian Americans are smart. A Pearson’s correlation was done to figure out the

association. For item one, there is a statistically significant (p<001) moderately (r=.382) positive relationship between the perception of the model minority and the impostor phenomenon. For item two, it indicated that statistically significant (p=.004) weak 141

(r=.215) positive relationship between the perception of Asian Americans being associated with being smart and the impostor phenomenon.

Qualitative Findings. After interviewing 10 Asian American college students about their educational experiences, I had a better understanding how and where their impostor feelings came from. From chapter five, it answered the questions of a) How does the racialization in particular to the model minority impact how Asian American college students have and are currently experiencing the impostor phenomenon? b) What have been the experiences of Asian American college students and the model minority stereotype in their K-12 studies? c) What have been the racial experiences of Asian

American college students? And d) How does family expectations play a factor in the development of the impostor phenomenon in Asian American college students? The six major themes are:

• Racialized experience in K-12

• Academic performances of Asian American students;

• Socialization as a cover-up;

• Family expectations and the stress to be successful;

• Comparison as a tool to be competitive; and

• The racialization as Asian American college students as the model minority

The racialization of Asian Americans contributes to the development of the impostor phenomenon. Their racial identities become a tool that hinders them from their true potential and intelligence. They become insecure and vulnerable about their 142

intelligence because they are often victims of bullying and isolation from others.

However Asian American students must continue to strive to be the best because of their parents’ standards. This continuation of success from others and their parents is projected

through the model minority. The model minority stereotype becomes the threat that harms Asian Americans. They fear that they are not good enough and feel inadequate because some are not able to meet this expectation. As a result, the projection of the

model minority contributes impostor phenomenon in Asian Americans because they

develop the characteristics of being an impostor. The model minority stereotype and the

impostor phenomenon cause mental health complications, such as depression, anxiety,

self-doubt, and guilt, within Asian American students.

From chapter 6, it answers the question of: how do Asian American college

students cope with the impostor phenomenon? The major themes that are associated with

coping with the impostor phenomenon are:

• Establishing a support system

• Reflecting through Asian American and Ethnic Studies courses

• Validating self-worth and self-determination

There are ways for Asian Americans to manage their impostor phenomenon. By

attending Asian American Studies or Ethnic Studies courses, creating a support system, and validating one’s own self-worth helps an individual manage their impostor feelings.

These environments allow an impostor to reflect on their experiences and reflect with others. Having an environment where they are accepted and will be heard provides 143

solidarity among other impostors, which Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies courses can provide. These classes provide listening, understanding, and patience which are important when addressing impostor feelings. Given these areas, an impostor can learn that others experience similar situations and learn how to validate their own self- worth. Reflection, community, and self-worth can let someone learn that it is okay not to be perfect.

Implications for Impostor Phenomenon Survivors

This study addressed how the impostor phenomenon impacts the Asian American experience in education. People often see that Asian Americans are the successful and achieving racial group because of the model minority stereotype. They often discount the mental health issues that are associated with the Asian population. They often believe that the expectations for Asian American students are from their parents, but they never really looked outside of what system has influenced their parents’ values and standards. I hope that my research opens doors to understanding the pressures caused by the model minority stereotype and societal pressures on Asian Americans. I want to provide a foundation to help others to learn about the Asian American educational experience and let them see the Asian Americans face obstacles and struggles as well.

There has plenty of studies on the impostor phenomenon and how it has affects across genders, however, there is not much research done on the Asian American impostor phenomenon or other racial group impostor phenomenon. My interest in the impostor phenomenon started when I was talking about my experience with my current 144

advisor. I reflected and saw that I am a survivor of the impostor phenomenon and wanted to base this study on my participants experience and my own healing from something that stopped my full potential. In the research, my participants and I provide three ways of handling the impostor phenomenon: take Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies courses, establish a supportive community, and through these two things: find yourself.

The impostor phenomenon should not stop you from living your life. Realize that you are not the only one that is suffering from this phenomenon. You are strong. You are worth it. You are not victims, but survivors. This thesis is for IP survivors to learn that this phenomenon is manageable. Know that your parents do not create these standards, but they are made from imperialistic ideas of success. These ideals of success are created by a larger system of power that controls every inch of our society. You need to make your own path, learn, and grow from it. Society will try to confine you into the box created by imperialism. The purpose of this research is to help alleviate the stress and pressures of the model minority stereotype and the expectations that is imposed onto the individual.

Implications for Communities with IP Survivors

The family is an IP survivor’s first community. It is important for to normalize that competition does not always end well with IP survivors. They will compare and doubt themselves to other people if there is not understanding of the impact of the impostor phenomenon on the individual. Families should strive to normalize a supportive environment that helps the IP survivor grow and not hide behind an impostor mask. 145

Families should learn that the standards of whiteness for some IP survivors are hard.

Whiteness has determined what is considered success in academic and occupation.

Families must learn that these standards are fundamentally to allow only a few to achieve success. These standards can damage the survivor’s mental health. The pressure, expectations, and competition contribute to one developing the impostor feelings. These values can lead to IP survivors to develop depression, anxiety, and self-doubt about themselves. Families should always strive to create an environment for all their children to prosper and feel valid, worthy, and able to embrace their own decisions.

Besides the family, school communities should not hold such high expectations on Asian American students. The pressure and stress that accumulates on them will prevent them from embracing their full potential. Teachers must learn to embrace students from all abilities. All students are capable. Teachers must create a welcoming environment for IP survivors and allow them to thrive in the classroom. Educators should never use microaggressions to use against the students, they embrace the students’ choices in life and be a supporter that they need. Through white supremacy, this idea of that Asian Americans must uphold the standard of the model minority. Educators should not force Asian American students into the box that confines and defines them. Both the school and family community must learn to embrace their students or child’s in life.

I hope that this thesis allows others to learn about the experiences of Asian

Americans in education. This thesis should teach other communities the detriments of the impostor phenomenon, racial microaggressions, and obstacles that Asian Americans face 146

today. There should be dialogue with Asian Americans about their mental health issues when it comes to discussing the impostor phenomenon, racial microaggression, and the experiences of this racial group. This provides a tool for Asian American IP survivors or other IP survivors to handle and manage their impostor feelings.

Contribution o f Thesis

This thesis examined how the impostor phenomenon impacts Asian Americans in education, where people continue to place high expectations and pressures onto the racial group. Through the analysis of imperialism, whiteness, and white supremacy, these expectations are not from the family, but through a system of power that dictated what should be the standard of success. This system influenced the minds of Asian parents, as a result created an expectation that Asian Americans must achieve or fail. This leads to

Asian Americans developing the impostor phenomenon. From the past research that has been done on the impostor phenomenon focused on the gender differences of males and females. The literature of the impostor phenomenon is literature on different racial groups like Asian Americans. Minimal research has been done on Asian Americans with most of the research revolving around the white and black binary.

This thesis aims to fill the hole the impostor phenomenon and its impact on Asian

Americans. Using this population of students, I am able to open the doors to more research that could be done on Asian Americans in regards to the educational experience, family, mental health, and racial issues that have impacted this community. This thesis allows a new type of dialogue to start between individuals that are IP survivors and to 147

address the racial experiences of Asian Americans. This research provides personal

experiences from Asian American IP survivors and their experiences may reflect other

experience. This research serves to provide a sense of healing for IP subjects and

survivors.

This research contributes to the growing literature about the impostor

phenomenon and the Asian American experience in education and mental health. With

the focus on both education and mental health, I want this field to grow and have

researchers to use this information to help grow the conversation about the lack of mental

health, the negative consequences of the model minority stereotype, and

microaggressions on Asian Americans. This literature can help add more literature in

Asian American Studies, psychology, and education psychology. With the lack of

information about Asian American mental health and psychology, I hope that that this

thesis bridges that gap between health and education.

Future Direction of Research

When I conducted the interviews with the ten SFSU students, they addressed

family, education, mental and physical health, and the impostor phenomenon. In the

study, I focused primarily on the educational experiences of Asian Americans and how

they developed their impostor feelings. After completing the interviews and scales, multiple topics came to life. The idea of family and cultural values became a topic that was not addressed in the paper because of how dynamic culture and family played a

significant role in some of the participant’s lives. Asian American families and cultural 148

values have an abundance of literature. Addressing this topic would shift the topic off the educational experience and the impostor phenomenon. It would be interesting to see how cultural values of Asian American families contribute to the impostor with the concept of saving face.

Another area of research that could be done on the Asian Americans and impostor phenomenon is focusing on the middle child. Some of the participants that are interviewed are the middle child. They expressed that being the middle child may have contributed to their impostor feelings. I believe this might be true because of how the middle child tends to slip by most things that happen in the family. With an older sibling, who is supposed to set the standard, and the youngest, who receives might receive the most attention; the middle child may have to resort to other paths to make them feel noticed. They may go into different careers and educational paths that are different from the other siblings. It would be interesting to see a comparison done on middle children with a variety of families

Another topic that emerged from the research is Asian American mental 1 health and the impostor phenomenon. According to Chu and Sue (2011), Asian Americans are less likely to seek mental health support than other groups (p. 3). Other studies (Henning et. al 1998; Ross et. al 2001; Bernard et. al 2002; Castro et. al 2004; Oriel et. al 2004;

Gibson-Beverly & Schwartz 2008; McGregor et. al 2008; Cokley et. al 2013; Dudau

2014; Peteet et. al 2014) have been done on the relationship between psychological distress of students and the impostor phenomenon. These studies have found that students 149

who suffer from the impostor phenomenon are more likely to develop symptoms of

depression, high levels of anxiety, self-doubt, having low-self esteem, low confidence,

and more psychological distress. Having a name on an issue that may play a factor in the

mental health and Asian Americans. From the would be interesting to see how the

impostor phenomenon contributes to the physical health of Asian Americans and other

races in order to see how these feelings contribute to the physical and mental health of

Asian Americans.

Conclusion

This thesis addressed the issue of the impostor phenomenon and how it impacts

Asian Americans in education by addressing the standards and expectations placed onto

them. These standards are shaped and formed by a larger system of power. Through

imperialism, whiteness, and white supremacy have created the standard that people must

meet. Through the control of institutionalized powers, these standards will continue to

cause harm onto different ethnic groups. In order to address these issues, one must accept

their flaws and become vulnerable. They must learn that being imperfect is okay. As a

result, healing is highly required when addressing the impostor phenomenon because it

debunks years of depression, anxiety, and fears. In order to address this phenomenon, it

requires individuals tremendous amount of courage and will to address their flaws in the

open. Through this healing, IP survivors will be able to move on and live through their

successes. Through community and self-determination, IP survivors can feel special and

worthy of their accomplishments. 150

IP survivors must be able to grow in an environment where there is no such thing as competition or comparison. If they do grow up in such environment, they must remember that their skills, talents, intelligences, and abilities make them unique. These environments should normalize that competition and comparison is not the key to success.

Through the courses like Asian American Studies and Ethnic Studies, communities, and self-determination, it can provide IP survivors the healing that they need to feel that they are worth it. According to Sara:

Life’s too short for doubts. Sometimes, you just have to do it, even if people hold you back or hold yourself back. I think that I always have to say that to myself because I have children. I tell them the same thing: don’t give up. If I tell her not to give up or him not to give up, I have to tell myself that too.. .1 think that everyone goes through the impostor syndrome because you’re always trying to put yourself into a standard or an expectation or there’s something that you envy and what to be that or you want to do that, or all my friends got this. I think everybody does. I think the thing that we need to do is recognize that we need to envious of ourselves. We need to be envious of the accomplishments of that we have for our own self. Nobody else has that. The knowledge that you accumulate through the years, nobody can take that away from you, even if you’re in debt later on. Fuck the debt! Nobody can take away my knowledge; no body can take away my passions, loyalty, and love for people. I think you always have to remember what is your core values, something that makes you, you. If you’re trying to live up to something, whatever makes you, you because of somebody else, you gotta reevaluate. You gotta find your uniqueness and it’s something that I tell my daughter the other day: people who famous who are singers or very good at what they do, do you think they’re trying to be somebody else? No, because they stand out. That’s why they’re fucking famous. There was something about them that stuck out that was different from everybody else. Whatever you have, “I’m not like her or I’m not like him or whatever,” who cares! You are you and stick to that! If you love you, you’d stand out! 151

When IP survivors reflect on their successes or talking it through with people that truly care about them, they can overcome their fears of failure, anxiety, and self-doubt.

Through self-determination and the establishment of a positive and supportive community, an IP survivor can feel that they belong and never feel like they are not worthy enough to be there. It can open the doors to IP survivors to truly feel that their success is meaningful and special to them. Love yourself and never let any one tell you are not worth it. 152

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Appendices

Appendix A: Asian American Clance Impostor Phenomenon Survey

Name: Gender:

Ethnicity:

Major/Class Standing: Age:

Directions: For each question, please check the number that best indicates how true the statement is of you. It is best to give the first response that enters your mind rather than dwelling on each statement and thinking about it over and over.

1 2 3 4 5 Not true Rarely Sometimes Often Very at all true 1)1 have often succeeded on a test or task even though I was afraid that I would not do well before I undertook the task. 2) I can give the impression that I’m more competent than I feel I really am. 3) I avoid evaluations if possible and have a dread of others evaluating me. 4) When people (i.e. parents, teachers, or peers) praise me for something I’ve accomplished, I’m afraid I won’t be able to live up to their expectations of me in the future. 5) I sometimes think I obtained or gained my 161

present success because I happened to be in the right place at the right time or knew the right people. 6) I’m afraid people important to me may find out that I’m not as capable as they think I am. 7) I tend to remember the incidents in which I have not done my best more than those times I have done my best. 1 2 3 4 5 Not true Rarely Sometimes Often Very at all true 8) I rarely do a project or task as well as I’d like to do it 9) Sometimes I feel or believe that my success in life, in my job, or in my education has been the result of some kind of error. 10) It’s hard for me to accept compliments or praise about my intelligence or accomplishments. 11) At times, I feel success has been due to some kind of luck or through great effort. 12) I’m disappointed at times in my present accomplishments and think I should have accomplished much more. 13) Sometimes I’m afraid 162

others will discover how much knowledge or ability I really lack. 14) I’m afraid that I may fail at new assignments or undertakings even though I generally do well at what I attempt. 15) When I’ve succeeded at something and received recognition for my accomplishments, I have doubts that I can keep repeating that success. 16) If I received a great deal of praise and recognition for something I’ve accomplished, I tend to discount the importance of what I’ve done. 17) I often compare my ability to those around me and think they may be more intelligent than I am.

1 2 3 4 5 Not true Rarely Sometimes Often Very at all true 18) I often worry about not succeeding with a project or examination even though others around me have considerable confidence. 19) If I’m going to receive a promotion or gain recognition of some kind, I hesitate to tell others until it is an accomplished fact. 20) I feel bad and 163

discouraged if I’m not “the best” or at least “very special” in situations that involve achievement. 21) Because Asian Americans are considered “model minorities,” I feel pressured to meet those expectations. 22) I believe that people think I am smarter than I really am because I am Asian American.

Total:______

The Impostor test was developed to help individuals determine whether or not they have Impostor Profile (IP) characteristics and, if so, to what extent they are suffering.

After taking the Impostor Test, add together the numbers of responses to each statement. If the total score is 40 or less, the respondent has few Impostor characteristics; if the score is between 41 and 60, the respondent has moderate IP experiences; a score between 61 and 80 means the respondent frequently has Impostor feelings and a score higher than 80 means the respondent often has intense IP experiences. The higher the score, the more frequently and seriously the Impostor Phenomenon interferes in the person’s life.

Note: From The Impostor Phenomenon: When Success Makes You Feel Like A Fake (pp. 20-22), by P.R. Clance, 1985, Toronto: Bantam Books. Copyright 1985 by Pauline Rose Clance, Ph.D., ABPP. Reprinted by permission. Do not reproduce without permission from Pauline Rose Clance, [email protected], www.paulineroseclance.com * * 164

Appendix B: Implied Consent For Survey

Implied Consent to Participate in Research

Hello, my name is Vincent Kwan, and I am currently an Asian American Studies graduate student at San Francisco State University. My current thesis is on the Impostor Phenomenon and its effects on Asian Americans in education. The data collected from this confidential survey will be used for completion of a master’s degree in Asian American Studies at San Francisco State University. The information gathered will be used for research on Asian Americans and the Impostor Phenomenon. The Impostor Phenomenon is the feeling where an individual feels inadequate regarding their success compared to their peers. For example, Asian Americans may experience the impostor phenomenon as a result of the model minority stereotype, wherein Asian Americans are expected to succeed. This survey will help to show the individual how the impostor phenomenon has impacted their lives.

The survey questions will be about to evaluate levels of impostor in the person. You have been invited to participate because i. You are Asian American. ii. At least 18 years or older.

You must be 18 years of age or older to participate. There are no risks or benefits to you in participating in this survey. You may choose to participate or not. You may answer only the questions you feel comfortable answering, and you may stop at any time. If you do participate, completion and return of the survey indicates your consent to the above conditions. If you do not wish to participate, you do not have to complete the survey and there will be no penalty whatsoever.

Please do not put your name on this form. The survey should take approximately 20 minutes to complete. Any questions or concerns should be directed to the principal investigator, Vincent Kwan, at [email protected] or the research advisor, Professor Allyson Tintiangco-Cubales, at [email protected]. 165

Appendix C: Informed Consent for Interview Participants

San Francisco State University Informed Consent to Participate in Research Asian Americans and the Impostor Phenomenon

A. PURPOSE AND BACKGROUND The purpose of this research is to study Asian Americans who have experienced the Impostor Phenomenon and their experience in education. The study will explore the impacts of racial micro-aggressions, racialization of Asian Americans, and the Impostor Phenomenon on individuals within their educational experience. The Impostor Phenomenon is the feeling where an individual does not feel intellectually competent compared to their peers and will start to self-doubt their abilities.

The researcher, Vincent Kwan, is a graduate student at San Francisco State University conducting research for a master’s thesis in the Asian American Studies Department. You are being asked to participate in this study because you are an Asian American who may have experienced the Impostor Phenomenon and are at least 18 years or older.

B. PROCEDURES If you agree to participate in this research, the following will occur: • You will be interviewed for approximately 60 - 90 minutes. • The interview will be audio recorded to ensure accuracy in reporting your statements. • The interview will take place at San Francisco State University’s library in a private room. • The researcher will contact you 4 to 6 weeks following the interview to clarify your answers. The researcher will contact you through the phone. • Total time commitment will be 90-135minutes

C. RISKS • There is a risk of loss of privacy. The researcher and his advisor will have sole access to the data received. Following the study, transcripts and notes will only be used in future research purposes consistent with the original purpose of the research. Furthermore, a physical draft of the transcripts will be shared in person with the participant for their review to ensure accurate statements. Participants will be given the opportunity to omit, comment on, or correct responses; they can reach the researcher via phone or email if they decide to make changes. The participant will have one week to submit any changes once the initial email containing the transcript is sent out. Transcripts will be collected at the same meeting in order to protect the 166

participants’ privacy. Participants are free to discontinue involvement in the project at any time. Participants’ names will not used in the study. • There is risk of emotional trauma. Questions about bullying, racism, and the Impostor Phenomenon may invoke feelings of depression. The researcher will minimize the risk by having all meetings at San Francisco State before 5:00PM to give participants a chance to arrange an appointment with a mental health clinic to address any type of distress they experience. Although the researcher may not have experience with recognizing emotional discomfort, he will provide a list of mental health clinics to all participants.

D. CONFIDENTIALITY The research data will be kept in a secure location and only the researcher will have access to the data. All research data will be stored in an encrypted document on a password-protected computer. Audio recordings of interviews, transcripts, and surveys will be destroyed after three years. During data analysis, all files will keep in a password- protected laptop. All other physical files such as surveys and interview notes will be shredded after being scanned and saved to the password protected laptop. Identities of participants will be hidden and not be used during research. All identifiable research data will be given and stored with researcher’s faculty advisor in their locked campus office at San Francisco State University. All research data will be kept for three years after research is complete.

E. DIRECT BENEFITS There will be no direct benefits to the participant.

F. COSTS There will be no cost to you for participating in this research.

G. COMPENSATION There will be no compensation for participating in this research.

H. ALTERNATIVES The alternative for participants is to not take part in the research.

I. QUESTIONS You have spoken with Vincent Kwan about this study and have had your questions answered. If you have any further questions about the study, you may contact the researcher by email at [email protected] you may contact the researcher’s advisor, Professor Allyson Tintiangco-Cubales at [email protected]. 167

Questions about your rights as a study participant, or comments or complaints about the study, may also be addressed to the Human and Animal Protections at (415) 338-1093 or [email protected].

J. CONSENT You have been given a copy of this consent form to keep. PARTICIPATION IN THIS RESEARCH IS VOLUNTARY. You are free to decline to participate in this research, or to withdraw your participation at any point, without penalty. Your decision whether or not to participate in this research will have no influence on your present or future status at San Francisco State University.

Signature______Date:______Research Participant

Signature Date: Researcher 168

Appendix D: Interview Questions

Research Questions: • How do Asian Americans college students experience the impostor’s phenomenon? o What are the impostor characteristics that Asian American experience? o Is there an association between experiences of racialization and the impostor phenomenon? • How does the racialization in particular the model minority impact how Asian American college students have and are currently experiencing the impostor phenomenon? o What have been the experiences of Asian American college students and the model minority stereotype in their K-12 studies? o What have been the experiences of Asian American college students and the racialization as the model minority in college? • How does family expectations play factor in the development of the impostor phenomenon in Asian American college students? • How do Asian American college students cope with the impostor phenomenon?

Interview Questions: Let me begin by thanking you for participating in my study. The purpose of this interview is to learn more about the educational experiences of Asian Americans in higher education. 1) Before we delve into your experience in college, what was your experience like K-12 in general? a. Elementary? Middle? High School? b. How did you do in school? What kind of grades did you get? Were you successful? c. How were your relationships with your teachers, administrators, and friends like? Any expectations? d. Did you have any moments where they treated you differently? Was it because you were Asian? The Model Minority? e. Did you experience any racism when you were in K-12? How did this impact your identity? 2) What kind of expectations did your parents have of you growing up? a. Why do you think your parents have these expectations? b. Has your parents ever compared you to anyone? Brother? Sister? Cousins? 3) So, let’s shift to talking about your college experience. What was college like for you? OR How has college been for you thus far? a. What was your major in undergrad? What is your current major? b. What are your parents’ thoughts about your major? 169

c. Can you describe the most memorable experiences that you’ve had in college? d. Can you describe what kind of student you are or were? e. Did you experience any racism when you are/were in college? 4) In terms of your college experience, have you ever felt like you were an impostor? a. How often do you feel anxiety about in college? Can you describe a time when you felt anxious in college? b. Have you ever felt like a failure in college? Can you describe a time when you felt like a failure in college? c. Have you ever feel like a perfectionist in college? Can you describe a time when you felt to be perfect in college? d. Whenever someone gave you negative feedback, how would you respond? e. Whenever people gave you positive feedback, how would you respond? f. Did you ever dread over an assignment? Can you describe a difficult assignment that you had to do in college? Why do you think it was difficult? g. How often did you question your intellectual abilities in college? Can you describe a time when you doubted yourself in college? 5) How did the impostor’s phenomenon impact your overall college experience? How did it impact your identity? 6) How did you cope with feeling like an impostor? a. What are some the strategies that you used to cope? What were some of your coping mechanisms? i. Did you talk to someone? ii. Did you write it in a journal? 170

Appendix E: Email Confirmation From Dr. Clance

3/10/2014 Gmail - Using Clance IPScale Permission

Using Clance IP Scale Permission

3 messages

Vincent Kwan Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 10:47 AM

To: [email protected]

Dear Dr. Clance,

My name is Vincent Kwan and I am a graduate student at San Francisco State University studying Asian American Studies. My master's thesis is focused on Asian American stude nts and the Impostor Phenomenon and how it may impact their experiences in education. I would like to ask you for permission to use your IP scale for my master's thesis research . I will be certain to cite your work appropriately when writing my master's thesis.

Thank you, and I hope to hear back from you soon.

Vincent Kwan

Vincent Kwan University of Washington 2013 Political Science and American Ethnic Studies

San Francisco State University 2015 Master of Arts - Asian American Studies andra gailis Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 9:48 AM

Cc: Pauline Rose Clance , andra gailis

Dear Vincent, 171

I am replying to your IP (Impostor Phenomenon) request on behalf of Dr. Clance. You ha ve permission to use and make copies of the scale (CIPS) and I have attached it along wit h the scoring. Also please read the permission form and reply with your consent. I have f urther included an IP Reference list (not all inclusive) for your use to make available for participants if they want to know more about the IP and you could refer them to Dr. Clan ce's website:

There may be a dearth in the literature on IP research with Asian American populations, s o it is wonderful for you to pursue this and we wish you well on your research!

Sincerely,

Andra

Andra Gailis, M.S., NCC

Professional Counselor

725 Wood Valley Trace

Roswell, GA 30076

(770) 594-76163/10/2014 Gmail - Using Clance IPScale Permission https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ui=2&ik=6e756a2de2&view=pt&q=Dr.%20Clance&q s=true&search=query&th= 144894592f64d 1 e4&siml= 144894592f64d 1 e4... 2/3 [email protected]

"To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; that is to have succee ded."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: FW: Using Clance IP Scale Permission 172

Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2014 12:20:35 -0500

Pauline Rose Clance, Ph.D., ABPP

404-593-3128 www.paulineroseclance.com

Email is not a guaranteed, secure form of communication. If you choose to engage in ema il communication with me, you are accepting any and all risks associated with email securit y- Information in this email may be confidential. If this email is not intended for you, please let the sender know you received it in error, and delete it immediately.

From: Vincent Kwan Sent: Monday, March 03, 2014 1:47 PM To: [email protected] Subject: Using Clance IP Scale Permission

2 attachments

IPTest-Score-PERMISSION-MOST RECENT.pdf 196K

IP Ref List-MOST RECENT-l-28-14.doc 302K

Dear Andra and Dr. Clance,

I give my full consent and agree to the conditions of using the CIPS and the terms listed i n the PDF.

Thank you again!

Vincent Kwan