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March 26, 1981 3 the Final Crunch: Common to Us All "Do It"

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THE VERYWEAKLY Wimpy Laurier CorrectionalInstitute, Kitcheeloo, Bill's Place Thursday March 261981 Volume 21 Number 22 A female biz prof?? with Me-, scoffed at the idea of by Frizz Senators being unaware they had WLU's Business School is just hired a woman. "Those old boys marking International Women's knew what they were doing allright. Year a little late. They just weren't sure of Miss A decision made by the Senate Jamieson's qualifications offsetting Thursday night means WLU will the fact that she is a woman." have a female lecturer in Business in Dr. Jamieson has three the person of Dr. Pat Jamieson. doctorates, one of which is an "We're glad to have those honourary degree from WLU. She screaming feminists off our backs" has been chief lecturer in Marketing was the comment of one high at the London School of Economics administration official. "Now that and guest lecturer in Industrial we've hired a woman, they can't say Relations at Harvard Business they're being discriminated School. For the past ten years, she against". was Marketing Promoter at One Senator, whopreferred notto McDonald's. be identified, said he believed that don't know about the rest of many Senators had not been aware the faculty, but I'd be willing to let SUPERPERSON that Dr. Jamieson was in fact a her in on the probation," Mc said. woman. "A lot of those old geezers "It's going to be a problem" was haven't seen a woman in so many Director of Physical Plant and Plan- years they've forgotten what one ning's Wes Robinson's comment. looks like". The source continuedby *We*ll have to put a woman's (NONSEXIST) explaining that many Senators are washroom in the Peters Building". only allowed off the geriatric wards Robinson said that facilities would BY of Sunnydale Nursing Home every be set up in the Atrium for the Construction crews have begun to dismantle the Peters Building in order to make way for a new PIC ten years to go to Senate meetings. convenience of Dr. Jamieson. parking lot for staff and faculty. Students will still have to park In the lots by Fairway Mall. One Business prof, whose name "We're exploring offers from Porte- could not be confirmed but started San and Johnny-on-the-Spot". New parking lot for Laurier by V. P. Scarlett blue or fuchsia pink", said Dr us that a groupof Arts students has Today Dr. Tayler's office made Tayler. been chosen from the tenderers to the F.C. public plans to demolish Tenders have been submitted to take the building apart brick by in order to provide Peters Building destroy the building. Dr. Tayler tells brick. better parking facilities for the university Physical Plant and Planning staff, better known as the "janitors". Chandeliers and crystal When asked why the new room like this could "greatly aid in building, home to thousands of by Jean-Guy Brideau developing my and other profs' was no nesting Business students, In a recent meeting of the School prestige on campus". He merrily longer.seen as a necessary part ofthe of Business and Economics, plans mentioned that he would be replied, Laurier campus, Dr. Tayler were finalized for a new Private pushing hard to see that shelves and "Heck those guys have gotta put Dining Lounge for executive shelves of textbooks would be their mopeds somewhere.The Peters members of the faculty. available in the room, "We like Building looked OK for a whilebut Commenting on the new facility, books you know, lots and lots of we're a progressive university-gotta Dean of Business Dr. M. Stewart 'em". keep ahead of the gameand it looks stated that in addition to eight Boda When Prof. Glen Carroll was like parking lots are where it's at. We chandeliers and the Tasmanian rugs, asked whether or not he felt that the already got it in the Laurier film the new Restaurant/Club/Com- new area would be at all in anyway." muter Lounge will feature taped competition with Wilf's, he The parking lot is going to be recordings of French 101 lectures. cautiously replied "there are no silly called the N.H. Tayler Parking Lot Explaining the reasons for the tapes, French tapes in Wilt's". on named after a notable figure Dr. Stewart further stated that there Many of the other faculty campus. "It will be a deep indigo, was a need to instruct profs in members declined comment on the withstraight almost black in colour, French. Apparently, since English new lounge, as the finalmembership .s <oc lines canary or schoolbus yellow did not seem a sufficiently list for the room had not, as ofyet, a. areas where the designating the understood language witnin tne been completed. m> mopeds are to be parked. We're faculty, a substitute language was Millie Reiner, in Food Services, o we positive on the layout and now deemed necessary. also was reluctant to talk about the a. up our minds just have to make Dr. Trevor Crick, having just proposed menu and prices for the Pat Is the Cord Mascot. It Is a requirement of the Cord's about the colours. John and I are his doctorate and new "club". She did, however, say recently received incorporation to have her picture published In the Cord at least torn over the canaryyellow andPete thereby gained eligibility to use the that "after several trips to Ottawa" baby year. wantsto branch outinto either new facility, said he felt'that a dining she has many new ideas in mind. once a "That's alot of bull." IN THIS TISSUE: words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words absolutely nothing words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words word words words words words words words words words words words words words theplebes will notice words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words 2 The Very Weakly, Thursday, March 26, IWI Some Spring Whimperings This warning is written for the Tom Waits put it best when he sang Wahdda ya mean you don't believe you lost enough to benefit ofall innocent, unsuspecting of benefits of bachelorhood. me? If get to someone, you and unattached guys. BEWARE! become involved withsomeone, you "I'm gonna sleep in till the kiss the whole summer goodbye. Spring is upon us. With the season can crack of noon, comes extreme dangers to both your You'll be swept right into a Midnights howlin' the lifestyle and independence. at whirlwind, and therewill besnow on moon. the ground before you know it. Spend my drinkin, Unless youyou are doubly on guard evenings What's worse, you won't even care coming home when I please, you and in control of yourself, you will about all the time you waste. prey to that No need to ask permission ifI undoubtedly fall The stupidity which that state-of weaselly-winged cretin with his wanna go out fishin', Never have to ask for mind puts you through is incredible. bows and arrows. You know who I the I keys." The brainturns intoa marshmallow. mean. Logic leaves on the next flight out. moment's lapse olof Indeed. Does afish need a bicycle? A mere Still not convinced?Well, ifyou're concentrationand could end up Is the pope Polish? oops, never concentration you — dumb enough to want to play gushinggushing all oveiover mind that one. twinkly eyedeyed and Romeo, kiss your wallet goodbye. the place.place. So watch it! You and your florist will be on a Before delving intointo the effect!effects obligations and Gentlemen, the first name basis, because you'll be which relationship headaches a seeing a lot of each other. ...l:_uwhich »i-_the coup defoudreJ- r 1 could..l-j haveI would cause you far outweigh any upon you, carefully contemplate fleeting moments of happiness However, you'll offset thatcost by the carefree splendour of your which you might possibly ex- the savings of wear on your shoes, PICBYMIKEY present situation. perience. seeing as your feet will scarcely ever Mike is this week's Cord Boy. In his spare time Mike likes eating Would you want to give it all up? touch the ground. caterpillars and pondering the merits of spring. Not a chance. Don't find out the hard way. Conscious of your appearance? You'll be so meticulously neat, clean shaven and proper that even your friends won'trecognize you. Tucked in shirt, combed hair don'tforget your — THESE PEOPLE to wash behind ears. Is that any way to spend the best part of the year? In addition to being completely DID NOTREST dazed and unaffected by earthly events and day to day happenings, your entire countenance will change. Whistling every inane tune or ON THEIR jingle which comes on the radio, and perpetually marked by an ear to ear grin, you may find yourself a ACADEMICLAURELS candidatefor the happy house. A university or college education Stranger still, the most potentially annoying or irritating bad news or BERNICE FIAMELLI LEO WYNNYCKY) will definitely stand you in good setbacks are unlikely to disturb you. BA,B.Com.,MBA, Dipl.B., RIA stead.
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