THE CORD WEEKLY Number 9 Thursday Volume Oct. 27, I'.'ss Wilfrid Laurier University OMB says no to Turret staff

By Bryan C. Leblanc would be placed in Wilf's or in Turret and Wilf's staff have the Liquor Services Manager's made a proposal to the Students' office to ensure that all staff have Union which would allow them access to it. Sign-ups must occur to gain access to WLUSU liquor on the day they are to be used, facilities without waiting in line and the privilege must be ex- like the rest of us. ercised before 10 pm. Should a The proposal was turned staff member who has signed up down by the WLUSU Operations for entrance privileges not ex- Management Board at their Octo- ercise them, he or she will not be ber 23 meeting. WLUSU Execu- eligible to participate in the pro- tive Vice-President Wendy Wat- gram for two weeks. son stated that "a proposal such In the case of Wilf's, six this never be implemented as will Wilf's and four Turret staff will because it is not fair to the be allowed to exercise entrance who have been waiting patrons in rights using the same system as line for hours to have people walk the Turret. in front of them and get in before they do. There will never be an Watson was initially in favour initiative implemented which of the proposal. "Wilf's and Tur- would allow people to be es- ret staff do a lot of work for us. It corted up in front of other was giving them a kind of a perk patrons." that they had never really had be- fore." Watson did have problems The reasons for this request with "the fact that the staff would centre around the fact that staff basically be escorted up the stairs "devote many hours to the two front of patrons." liquor controlled operations and in operate establishments to ensure According to Student Pub that business runs smoothly and Manager Lisa Fee, this is "some- efficiently," according to the thing that the staff has wanted for proposal. Staff are financially years and it would be a nice idea compensated for the time spent if it was workable. But it isn't fair operating liquor the services. to the students and the rest of the A sign-up book would be employees of the Union, like the us once again, giving us yet another ex- available which would give ten Games Room and Info Centre Happy Hallowe'en!!!: That yearly costume ritual is almost upon are wearing a Turret and five Wilf's staff the staff, because it would not allow cuse not to do homework. Whatever Hallowe'en means to you, just remember that if you fireproof. Cord photo by Kat privilege of entering the Turret them the same privileges." costume at some point this weekend, make sure the darn thing is without waiting in line. This book "It's unworkable. There are just too many people that the proposal would have to include WLUSU looks for elevator cash for it to be fair," said Fee. By Earl Camenbert - A new exterior ramp for the application that WLUSU's action INSIDE SUB. on the issue of the physically- Watson echoed those senti- New facilities for the - An accessible, challenged may a NEWS unisex student "set ments. "We have volunteers who physically-challenged may be in washroom facility. standard of accessibility for our are getting paid nothing an hour offing for the Students' Union Besides the $50,000 requested University Administration to fol- It's Graduation time again! Fall the and they probably deserve a perk Building. WLUSU has applied to from the ACCESS FUND, low in improving its facilities." Convocation takes place this more than our part-time staff the provincially-funded ACCESS WLUSU is hoping for $165,000 week-end.../5 She also dubbed the SUB the does", she said. "We are paying FUND for a $50,000 grant to go in student donations over the next "living-room" of the campus, and the staff for every single hour that towards the construction of four years. WLUSU itself Learn how to scam big bucks has al- as such it must be made readily they are working, and they are $275,000 worth of new services $40,000 to - ready committed the through political contributions a available to all students. Current- getting a large amount of tips. for physically-challenged stu- proposed project, while the uni- report on the Student Party.../7 ly, Bird wrote, access to the up- Really, it is their job to be work- dents. versity itself has pledged permost level of the SUB, the ing up there. Yes, they are giving Among those services would $20,000. SCENE Turret, is confined to those who up a lot of nights that they would be: The application made was are physically able to climb the rather be going out, but that is - A four-story elevator to pro- after planning A lesson in music - taught in several months of 68 stairs to the top. really their prerogative by taking vide access to SUB facilities, in- on the part of the Students' Union Basic English so you'll all know the job." cluding the Turret. and its Board of Directors. A mo- how to rock and r011.../13 Of the $275,000 in expected tion passed on July 16 by the expenses for the project, over Board (BOD) noted FEATURE of Directors $210,000 will go towards the pur- Maybe prof is too hot that accessibility for the chase of the elevator and the con-

-- physically-disabled and the elder- struction of the elevator shaft. Ooooh scary Feature on Witches DENVER, Co. (CPS/CUP) A University of Notre Dame profes- ly to SUB facilities was needed, and all sorts of weird tradi- sor set fire to his classroom September 19 while trying to enliven new ramp is expected to and that the BOD therefore ap- The tions.../8 a seminar. cost $7,384, while the new G. Herb True said proved $40,000 for the project. Amateur magician and adjunct professor washroom is budgeted at just "flaming Final approval of the $40,000 is SPORTS he was trying to spice up a lecture with his hand" trick over $10,000. An additional this flame out of my waiting on the decision of the in which "I flip with my finger and comes $10,000 has been budgeted for jerked his ACCESS FUND on the question. Football Hawks soar into the hand, or at least it looks like it." True was distracted, five years of maintenance fees, on WLUSU submitted the ap- playoffs! Thrash U of T 38-5 in hand the wrong way and accidently set fire to a wad of papers plication on September 30, 1988. and $35,000 is to be set aside for weekend action.,./17 his desk. professional fees to pay consult- immediately and was In the application, WLUSU The fire was extinguished almost there ing architects and engineers Garvey. President Karen Bird wrote that little damage, said university spokesperson Michael in project. the "physically-challenged stu- called on the DON'T FORGET! Daylight True, who suffered a minor burn, said he intends to keep dent must have the same choices Should the provincial funding Savings Time ends this weekend using the trick in class as an attention-getter. audience?" he and opportunities for self- come through, the SUB project so your clocks go back one hour "When was the last time you set fire to your as a development as his or her more may be completed as early as at 2:00 a.m.. This means MORE replied to a question about the effectiveness of the trick teaching able peers." Bird also noted in the September 1989. Hallowe'en partying!! v tool. The Cord Weekly 2 Thursday, October 27, 1988 GO TO TEST PATTERN TONIGHT THE CORD WEEKLY

' I i.#fniKi EYE examinations CDCC CO A fUiCO with ™e purchase October 27,1988 Volume 29, Number 9

Editor-in-Chief Cori Ferguson

NEWS Editor Bryan C. Leblanc Associate Jonathan Stover Contributors Will Powell lan C. Morton CONTACT LENSES & QUALITY FRAMES \ Earl Camenbert Anna Muselius Pl'wll Contact Lenses from 149complete. Glasses From 49complete with FREE frame Cori Ferguson Sarita Diaram COMMENT Bi MH BBS IHB M J! Contributors Steve Giustizia Mark Hand Colin J. Munn Sarita Diaram FEATURES GO SEE TEST PATTERN TONIGHT!! Editor E.A. Sajnovic Contributors ENTERTAINMENT Editor Neville J. Blair Contributors Tony Burke Jonathan Stover Dave Lackie Jordan Lay John Oberholtzer Doranne Domik Anna Naranowicz SPORTS Editor Brad Lyon Contributors Serge Grenier Scott Morgan Stephan Latour Shelley Burns Raoul Treadvvay Mary Ann de Boer Brian Owen Paul Tonin Dave Agnew Jeff Dragich DESIGN AND ASSEMBLY

Production Manager . Kat Rios Assistants Sandy Buchanan Sarah Welstead vacant Systems Technician Paul Dawson Copy Editors Shannon Mcllwain Keri Downs

. Contributors n n „ /rk x . 1 e ec Helen Skibinski Andrew Cash PHOTOGRAPHY Manager Vicki Williams Technician Jon Rohr HAH Graphic Arts Paul Tallon Contributors Bryan Leblanc Kat Rios Shelley Burns Bonnar Beach The Federal Voting Process For Students Ross Smellie Tim Sullivan Paul Tonin Brian Craig The riding where you vote is then appear on the Voters' List. ADVERTISING determinedby where you con- If you will not be able to vote sider your ordinary residence to on Election Day itself,remember Manager Bill Rockwood ~ be located. that you may vote ———■ Classifieds Mark Hand As students, you must decide advance or by [— Manager Scott Vandenberg in Production whether you consider this to be proxy. 1 National Advertising Campus Plus your family's or the (416)481-7283 residence Tf) FJNJ) nuT place where you are currently morf pick up - living (if CIRCULATION AND FILING they are two separate THIS PAMPHLET Manager John Doherty AT YOUR STUDENT = Make sure you are enumer- UNION OFFICF OR ated in the polling within Canada division CALL YOUR Eight month, 24-issue CORD subscription rates are: $20.00 for addresses where your and $25.00 outside the country. Co-op students may subscribe at the rate of $9.00 per four "ordinary residence" ELECTIONS month work term. is located. Your name should CANADA OFFICE. X}? ELECTIONS CANADA STUDENT PUBLICATION BOARD President Chris Starkey Directors Kirk Nielsen Gail Strachan William Penny Doug Earle

The Cord Weekly welcomes all comments, criticisms and suggestions from its readers. Letters to the Editor must be typed, double spaced and submitted by Friday at 6:00 pm for the following publication. All letters must bear the author's full name, telephone and student number. Letters must not exceed 400 words in length. The Cord Weekly reserves the right ELECTIONS to refuse any submission. All submissions become the property of The Cord Weekly. The Cord offices are located on the 2nd floor of the Student Union Building (Nichols CANADA Campus Centre) at Wilfrid Laurier University. Telephone 884-2990 or 884-2991. The Ccrd Weekly is printed at Fairway Press, Kitchener. The Cord Weekly is published weekly during the fall and winter academic terms. Editorial opinions are approved by the editorial board and are independent of the University, WLUSU, and Student Publications. The Cord Weekly is a member of the Canadian Uni- versity Press. Copyright © 1988 by WLU Student Publications, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the permission of the Editor-in-Chief. The Cord Weekly news 3 Thursday, October 27,1988 Standardized testing in the cards? TORONTO (CUP) — High school students across school in Elliot Lake should not be judged by the Ontario should write standardized province-wide same standards as a school in Missisauga," said exams before entering university, says the Council Jackson. "Standardized tests are written for a stan- of Ontario Universities. dardized group in society." The skill-testing exams would evaluate stu- Bill Lipischak of the education ministry's Pro- dents' language and mathematical abilities which gram Implementation and Review Branch, said the are vital for critical analysis and communication, substitution of Ontario Academic Credits (OAC) according to Will Sayers, COU communications for Grade 13 has provided provincial uniformity in director. terms of course content and hours. per cent ' "We just want to see if students have the tools Forty of the final mark is based on for- for basic university work," he said. Ontario Feder- mal examinations, and each credit involves 120 ation of Students Chairperson Shelly Potter does hours of classroom instruction. not agree with the concept of standardized testing. As well, the ministry has been providing "Teachers teach the test, which is not what we want secondary school teachers with model English ex- at all", said Potter. "The reason people are looking ams. It is the teachers' responsibility to use the structure adapting at standardized testing is because they believe of the exam while course content to meet the needs of their particular students. people are not getting what they should out of the "We want to put onus (of education) back system. Testing does not address the underlying the belongs — teacher," problems in education in Ontario, it merely where it with the he said. highlights them." Wilfid Laurier University Vice-President: Aca- demic Russell Muncaster believes that "some stan- Provincial Conservative education critic Cam dardized assessment is necessary in Ontario" be- said such a move would Jackson further isolate cause of a variation of grades throughout the pro- which traditionally have groups poor access to post- vince. He fears, however, that a tendency of education, secondary such as low-income students teachers "teaching the test" is an inherent dis- Gazctf and native students. Standardized tests not do take advantage to the system. regional, cultural and aptitudinal differences into According to Muncaster, it would be more pro- account. ductive to have "well-rounded educated students "Each university its constituency. A high knows than those who can answer standard questions." Graphic/Dalhousic Independent Free Trade analysis gets rough ride By Colin Embree was written last July and has ing 20 per cent is worth negotiat- panies such as the Chicken Pro- and is trying "to limit debate" on reprinted from the Charlatan since found its way across Cana- ing an agreement and risking ducers of Ontario and RCA, Ltd. the subject. da and into a printing shop in Canada's future. Kanstrup learned of the text "Any non-partisan critical An independent analysis at- downtown Ottawa which is sell- Hart said this is "misleading" be- through a "mutual friend of Mar- analysis is pressured by the tacking the Free Trade agreement ing copies of the study. cause Bowker doesn't account for jorie". He is surprised over the government to shut up," said between Canada and the U.S. is Along the way however, the trade that doesn't get through be- demand for the text calling it "a Arneil. misleading, confusing, and full of study has gained a "notorious" cause of various "barriers" such grass roots kind of thing". Hart said there is "no shortage mistakes said a former member of reputation. as quotas and anti-dumping laws. Although Hart disagrees with of information that is opposed to many of ideas, it,"and five the team which negotiated the "Would you ask your dentist "Her premise is infantile and Bowker's the ex- said he had books in surgery?," ecutive assistant to Liberal front of were deal. to do heart by-pass anti-intellectual," said Hart. MP him that all opposed Bowker Lloyd Axworthy feels to free The allegations were made by asked Hart, implying that "She's just wrong." Bowker trade. Hart, was in no position to write the has some valid points. Michael who is on leave Bowker could not be reached "I have never seen a govern- Negotiation text. "Not knowing anything "The gist of it's right on," said from the Trade office for comment. ment release more on an issue (TNO) responsible for the trade about international trade...she's Barbara Arneil. Arneil concedes, Despite Hart's reservations, than this," said Hart. "You can't agreement. currently a not well placed to understand however, that there are "some Hart is lec- demand for the text is very high. accuse the government of holding what this text (the free trade text) small errors because she's not a turer at Carleton's school of pub- Michael Kanstrup of Print back a lot." about," said Hart. trade expert," but, "the substance lic administration. is 2000 said the response has been "many complained of her argument is correct". Arneil said she has had The analysis was done by Hart about one of "overwhelming." Kanstrup said "The inaccuracies are requests for it," but cannot fulfill Marjorie Bowker, a retired family Bowker's fundamental premises he's distributed "upwards of 3000 no worse than what the government them because the text is 60 pages court judge from Alberta. The 60 where she questions the need for in the last couple of weeks." gives us," said Arneil. long and costly to print because page document entitled "What an agreement. Stating that 80 per Requests come from every- Arneil said that the govern- the government isn't allowing her Will the Free Trade Agreement cent of our trade is tariff free, where, including government de- ment is "frightened by this paper" to use their facilities. Mean to You and to Canada", Bowker asks whether the remain- partments and concerned com- Student runs for council By Cori Ferguson and Imprint not feel that holding the two Staff elected offices would be too much of a time constraint. His UW Federation of Students duties as Vice-President begin Vice-President of Operations and winding down in the winter Finance Shane Carmichael has semester, with the next student entered the political ring at the representative elections taking municipal level. place in February. He has, how- Just minutes before the Octo- ever, taken a leave of absence ber 17 deadline for nominations from his duties as Vice-President expired, Carmichael entered his to hit the campaign trail. name as a candidate for one of Carmichael sees the potential the eight Waterloo City Council for conflicts of interest to arise seats. due to his possible dual role with "My main reason for running the Feds and the City. "Some is to open up communication conflicts may occur, but if they lines between the City and stu- do I will certainly declare them," dents," Carmichael explained in he stated. Carmichael may be put an interview with UW's student in the position of dealing with Imprint. newspaper, The Al- Federation of Students President events though he feels that like Adam Chamberlain both as Vice- the Canada Day celebrations, President and as a councillor. Ad- Shinerama and the Terry Fox Run mittedly, he "would have to tread are step right direction a in the in lightly in that area" if elected. relations between the City and Carmichael will concentrate students, "we need a lot more co- on municipal subsidies of uptown operation and working together". development projects, the Not only does Carmichael elimination of exclusionary by- want to make the City aware of laws and what he sees as a lack of — ——— "" student issues, he also hopes to meti •- , adequate recreational facilities all that cash we fork over to our illustrious WLUSU Karen Bird gets job at McDonald's!: It seems that make the City's concerns known available in the City. meet. She has recently been seen moonlighting as a President Karen Bird just isn't enough to make ends to the universities. "I want to Although he plans to sell him- though, the whole thing was part of McHappy Day , where open some burger-slinger at McDonald's. Seriously, up eyes on both sides self to the community and stu- charities for every Big Mac sold. Karen did her part by of the fence," he McD's gives a buck towards various children's explained. dents alike, Carmichael realizes serving up a mess of burgers and, reportedly, thousands of fries. As the council meets one CORD photo by J. Jonah Jameson night a week, Carmichael does continued on p. 6 The Cord Weekly 4 Thursday, October 27,1988 netus ENVIRONMENTALLY Speaking by Ian C. Morton

In trying to perpetuate environmental (197 billion disintegrations/second). Ar- awareness to Laurier students, I thought senic, cobalt, nickcl, and manganese are it best to give an example of an impend- also present in the hazardous quantities. ing environmental catastrophe closer to The Welcome site discharges into local our home. Since its beginnings in the surface waters. The other radioactive 1930'5, and right up to the present day, sites within the town of Port Hope are the Eldorado radium refineries have dis- landfills (municipal dumps) or simply posed of their radioactive wastes by ravines into which Eldorado dumped its dumping them in and around the town of waste. In 1977 it was discovered that a Port Hope. Close to a million cubic children's school had been built with metres of radioactive wastes in the area waste material from Eldorado's refinery. are now a subject of close federal scruti- In addition, the Eldorado property is ny. home to 2,500 cubic metres of mag- One of these sites is the Port Hope nesium fluoride waste contaminated with get crazy contaminated that Rhinos harbour, which is so uranium and its decay series elements. water as ?s thirty the contains much This material is stored in drums on a nar- MONTREAL (CUP) -- Senior year Jagiellowicz, a third year McGill student uranium allowed under Cana- row pier between the inner harbour and times the students must get a $100,000 grant to running in Montreal. inter- Ganarska River. Eldorado now plans da's drinking water standards. The the study the effects of increased income on "I won't lie," he said, "I'm in it for Commission desig- to as as 3,000 tonnes of national Joint has add much their life-style, according to the leader of the money." as an calcium fluoride waste to this nated Port Hope's inner harbour radioactive Canada's fastest growing political party. Jagiellowicz promised if elected he to This is not suffi- official "Area of Concern" due the existing inventory. pier International Rhino Party Humble would float the island of Montreal down cubic metres of radioactive ciently protected in the event of a severe 90,000 General Secretary Charles McKenzie to the Caribbean for the winter. "After there. A second site, Port Granby, windstorm or tornado. sludge says he is "100 per cent committed" to the hurricane season, of course," he said. contaminated liquid directly Most of the waste at Port Hope, Port discharges his student study program. "Think of all the heating costs it would on eroding Granby, and Welcome is left over from into Lake Ontario, and sits McKenzie and co-leader Francois save, not to mention saving on road salt." shore. The Atomic En- the refining of uranium for the American bluffs above the Gourd say originality gives the Rhinos He also promised a 24 hour-a-day Board has said that the and British nuclear weapons pro- an ergy Control edge in the promise race. all-Barbara Frum news channel and a to grammes. the dump will present serious threat "They steal from each other. Turner eight day week, with the extra tacked Ontario unless it is contained and The Federal Task Force established Lake comes out with something and then a onto the weekend. third site, Welcome, lo- to study the dumps in Port Hope found cleaned up. A day later Mulroney comes out and Jagiellowicz is a veteran of the 1984 of Port Hope, contains that a cleanup of this waste alone may cated just outside promises the same thing," he said. election where he ran as a Rhino in his cost as much as 780 million dollars - 220,000 cubic metres of Eldorado McKenzie said the Rhinos have hometown of Cambridge, Ont. He's refinery waste and soil Eldorado, the polluter, will pay less than wastes, including hunted down 83 candidates across Cana- hoping the student vote will whisk him materials contaminated with one-twenty fifth of the clean up costs. and other da. One of them is 23-year-old John past the conventional competition. radium 226. Total radioactivity at the Taxpayers will foot the final bill. Welcome site is estimated to be 197 bßq Part Two: Next Week.

| o_..0 _.. I HALLOWE'EN IN THE TURRET! Sat Oct 29 Doors open at 8 pm

WF*, the volunteer fair A WET / DRY EVENT Nov. 1, 2, 3in the concourse I n izati°ns include from the audience answer Some or9® Participating Contestants , - n . . . K-W Parks and Recreation trivia questionsx great pnzeslll . Lutherwood doors open at Bpm IB IB 11 - Global Community Centre FREE -Canadian Mental Health : The Cord Weekly n 112lus 5 Thursday, October 27, 1988 Fall Grad on weekend pensive the food gets. Now I'll calm down here for a By Cord Staff minute and be a little more rea- NEED sonable. One of my colleagues Splane, a distinguished WE ALL Richard Canadian social worker, will ad- told me that I'm being petty. Well 470 graduates at dress about the annual fall convocation of Wilfrid maybe I am, but it is nonsense University at the Kitchener TO KNOW Laurier auditorium on October 30th. He that this ends up costing us a lot receive an Honorary BY will also Doctor of Laws Degree. of money. And I know that I can It will be 77 years to the day since the official opening of POWELL spend that cash more efficiently, Laurier's forerunner, Waterloo Lutheran WILL Seminary. perhaps on my $250.00/month A senior civil servant in Health and Welfare Canada from 1952 to rent. If we allow stuff like this to 1972, Splane has been considered the principle architect of the Cana- go on it just opens the door for da Assistance Plan, the basis for federal-provincial four individually wrapped stacks) cost sharing for What the hell is on going with these people to make more small income security and social services. is $1.40. I just bought a box at food services at this school? but significant price increases. A He also played a critical role in the development Valdi's last week and they were of legislation little bit at a time adds up to a enabling universal health care to be administered the top of the line - Premium by provincial It is not enough that they great deal in the end. governments and partially funded by the federal Plus. Food services probably gets government. serve greasy food to all of the There is a committee set up Internationally, Splane has served on committees nor them for much less because they of the United residence students, that they by the students to look into these Nations and the International Council of Social Welfare. should have the good sense to charge these same students quite kinds of problems. Maybe they was buy in bulk. He awarded the Centennial Medal of Canada in 1967 and in a hefty amount of money to eat it. didn't consider the actual - mark- 1985 was the recipient of the first of at five cents for two crackers award the Canadian Association Nor is it enough that the up on crackers (286%). Maybe of Social Workers for outstanding national Food Services is hauling in four service in the field of so- residence students have no other they all dislike soda biscuits and cial welfare and the profession of social work. you live dollars per box. That's right folks option for their food. If they don't care. Food Services is Now a professor emeritus of the University of British in must buy a full FOUR DOLLARS PER BOX. Columbia, residence you not run by an independent food Splane is currently involved in a comparative study of health meal plan that is available only According to my figuring that is a policy service company like at other in 26 countries. breakfast to Friday gross profit of two dollars and from Monday schools. If things like this are Honorary of conferred supper. No, really bug- sixty cents per box. An Doctor Letters will also be upon artist what is going on, perhaps the Adminis- Woldemar Neufeld. A 1930 alumnus of College School, ging my ass is they now have This is unacceptable. There is Waterloo that tration should take a good look at Neufeld is well established an artist in City, audacity to charge cents no preparation time in soda bis- as New York New En- the five the way it does things and take gland and the local for two bloody cuits so cooking is not a legiti- area. He has maintained close ties with Waterloo saltine crackers. tenders from other companies. Region and frequently features its scenes in his work. This isn't just for someone who mate food cost, though there is I don't know about you but I Neufeld, a Russian native, had already begun train an artist wants to buy crackers to have the receiving person and the per- to as sure as hell will not pay that when he immigrated to Canada at with peanut butter. No way. This son who puts the crackers in that the age of 15. After graduating money to have two crackers with from Waterloo College School, he at even applies when you have very sanitary, anybody stick your studied the Cleveland Art my eighty cent soup. School, now the Cleveland Art Institute. bought a bowl of soup. What pos- hand in, plastic box. The Fall Grad Class Committee has put together a weekend of ac- sible justification could they have What about freshness? Crack- tivities for WLU's newest alumni: for incurring this charge? ers are notorious for going stale

- Friday October 28 - Golden Years Pub Night at the Turret 8:00 I did a little figuring with the quickly. I sure as hell don't want pm. Grads only until 9:00. help of some people I know who the two that have been sitting out - Saturday, October 29 - Brunch in the Dining Hall hosted by the live on Albert Street (thanks) and since 11:00 am when I get my Alumni Association 11:00 am until 1:00 pm. Formal Dinner and here are the results. soup at suppertime. Ofcourse one Dance at Bingeman Park. Cocktails at 5:15, dinner at 6:00. There will - the average package of soda bis- could say that they (the crackers) be a shuttle bus available from the Athletic Complex. cuits would contain approximate- are checked regularly for fresh-

- Sunday, October 30 - Family Brunch 10:00 am to noon at the ly 160 individual crackers. ness and thrown out if they are Waterloo Motor Inn. Convocation at the Kitchener Auditorium 2:15 - the approximate retail price of a unsatisfactory. Food costs: the pm. President's Reception in the Torque Room and the Concourse box (one of those ones with the more one throws out the more ex- 4:30 to 6:00 pm. Battling With Your Body Image ? PREOCCUPIED WITH FOOD ??? DON'T LET WEIGHT PREOCCUPATION ROB YOU OF A HIGH QUALITY OF LIFE!!!!! Don't miss our six week programme focusing on healthy forms of weight management and methods that avoid the binge-diet roller coaster. TUESDAYS

Thursday, November 3, 8:00 p.m. Seigfried 11:30 AM - 12:30 PM LIBRARY ROOM L235 Hall , University of Waterloo. FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT : JULIE HARVEY ext 2253 or HEATHER FIELD ext 2805 A Satiracal look at APARTHEID presented by ANOTHER PROGRAMME BROUGHT TO YOU BY WLU COUNCELLING serv. SOUTH AFRICAN citizens. i ke\ly/7 | rent a car § i SAVE $5.00 i ■ ON ANY CAR RENTAL I

| 205 ST. N. "Surley an event of this nature is long WEBER j overdue here in Canada, for it is true that I 886-9190 ■ I I culture, more than a political speech, has an I Free Customer Pick-up And Delivery | | impact that is everlasting to the human mind" -actus- Student in municipal race STUDENT, GO HOME. .JL continued from p. 3 Carmichael has a lot of work that he will need strong student ahead of him. He must not only CHEAP. (Your parents are support if he hopes to win a seat get support from the community in the November 14 election. He and the students to be elected, he a sale. Any hopes that on-campus campaign- must also get those students out having garage ing with buttons, flyers and radio to vote. He is hoping that concern ads will raise awareness of the over housing in Waterloo will get of the stuff in your room you election and increase the number the students to the polls. of students who vote. In the past "Everyone considers me an really want to keep?) there has been a 6.5 % student underdog," Carmichael says, "but turnout in municipal elections. I'm going to sell them on In tho next three weeks myself. News Writers Meeting GrayCoach Today at 4:00 pm. If ya can't make it, see Bryan 9s'mm in The Cord office any- Student Union Info Centre, Student Union Building TelephoneBB4-5210 time or call 884-2990.

& UNIVERSITY I SI YORK BECOME AN I elementary teaoher I THROUGH YORK'S INTENSIVE TEACHER EDUCATION PROGRAMME: I AN INNOVATIVE, SCHOOL-BASED, ONE YEAR PROGRAMME I York University's Faculty of Education offers an innovative, practice-teaching- intensive, one year programme leading to teacher certification in the Primary and Junior divisions.

• full-time immersion in theory and practice teaching;

• school placements for two days each week (plus extended blocks) throughout the school year coached by experienced teachers;

• highly respected, child centred preparation for teaching in grades JK to 6. Applications are available from the Ontario Universities' Application Centre at Guelph, from any Ontario faculty of education, or by writing to the York Admissions address below. I APPLICATIONS DUE BY DECEMBER 16, 1988 Applicants should:

• hold, or be completing the final year of, a three or four year degree with Honours standing

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• intend to teach in grades JK to 6 (Primary-Junior grades)

For application forms, write or call immediately: Office of Admissions York University West Office Building 4700 Keele Street I North York, Ontario M3J IP3 I (416)736-5000 The Cord Weekly neius 7 Thursday, October 27, 1988 Student Party platform brings lots of chuckles with it tion," said Longley, "because it's two-lhirds rent increase, then I'm

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(CUP) In great — BURNABY 1985 there's a deal of cognitive "(The -investigations) cul- not a deduction from income going to throw your furniture out Longley told voters they out said refusing to say it Blair T. dissonance there," minated in them it's a tax credit. So all these the window into the snow.' The actually make a profit from to explain to say it was could Longley. "When I tried was legal, refusing causes can be turned into regis- chairman of the board looked at contribution. No one to to they a political the loophole and it's benefits not, and refusing say tered political activities. It would me, and looked at the TV, and it was believed him. people, they just didn't believe would not try and prove the single biggest looked at me again, and looked at openly become Elections Canada certainly me. They had to disbelieve me not. But I've been doing it fundraising mechanism you could the TV, and when the vote came to didn't want to believe him. because if they believed me then for so long that their chance imagine." they voted the increase down." said But Blair Longley isn't the the logic of the situation would appeal it has long passed," So far Longley is the only After his student loan money to type who's content let Cana- drive them to do it." Longley. nominated candidate of his party, ran out, Longley spent two years wallow in political ig- Student Party's political dians Longley first tested his The running-against Liberal leader living in an elaborate tree house He's formed his own platform includes the legalization norance. scheme while working as an John Turner in the Vancouver in the woods surrounding SFU, political party - the Student Party of marijuana and an end to age agent for the Rhinoceros party in Quadra riding. and stealing his food from SFU Canada - to make sure every- restrictions on voting, but of 1985. As well as funnelling tax For Blair Longley, this federal Food Services. on a lucrative Longley his party is one can cash in creditable contributions through admits that election campaign is just one When the SFU administration in the federal Elections largely a scam to get people more loophole the Rhinos into various environ- milestone in a long and con- tried to rip his trechouse down to in government. Act. mental groups, he also created involved voluted political history. At 38, expand a parking lot, they were Longley's Loophole, as he "The idea is to get more "bursaries" by get'.ing students to Longley has already spent half forced to build around him rather dubbed it, is based on the people to learn about and partici- has pay their tuition fee to the party, his life in universities, and boasts than bulldoze him. Longley's known fact that political pate the political process. The in little which in turn wrote a cheque to in having held temporary jobs al- Last Stand, as he calls it, can still employees are still eligible to it profitable party the university. Students got their strategy is make most every sector of the economy be seen as an indentation in the tax if they so," for a federal credit tuition paid, and got a maximum for them to do he said. without ever paying a cent in otherwise rectangular shape of B- a to the party. get people's at- make contribution of $500 back at tax time. "If you can't taxes. Lot's southeast corner. In practical terms, this means that Longley estimates that his tention with $500 of their own Longley spent 10 years work- Longley has also been active to give to it's possible cash the loophole would cost Revenue money, then what can you get ing on his bachelor of General in student politics, both at SFU Party, have most of the Student Canada $10 billion annually if 95 their attention with? The simple Studies degree at Simon Fraser and at the University of British paid to you as money back per cent of Canadians took ad- fact here is that it's always in the University, while actively Columbia, where he is now wages, and get "campaigning" vantage of it. But at the same material interest of every Cana- campaigning against every facet studying political science. "I used still more money back from the time, he thinks it will be difficult dian to contribute to some party of The System. to run for the Student Society as tax department. to sew the hole up without through this mechanism. It puts a Longley claims to be the only sort of my annual fun, but I ran $100, ex- for -- For an outlay of damaging the major parties' own price tag on apathy. It makes it student radical who has ever suc- Rhino style I never really contributor, earn a ample, a will fundraising efforts. The federal cost something not to partici- cessfully fought SFU administra- wanted to win. I believe student $75 tax credit on their next Tories, Liberals and New Demo- pate." tion. When SFU threatened a 66 societies violate the fundamental the Student Party will return, and crats all rely heavily.on campaign Longley wants to in- per cent rent hike for tenants in a freedom of association. You have additional $75 in by pay them an donations made with the expecta- stitutionalize his system hav- university residence in 1979, no choice but to join the student now wages. The contributor has tion of a tax credit. ing the Student Party officially Longley invited a television society." $150, $25 is skimmed Only recognized and after Elections Canada says that recognized. a camera crew to the crucial board "The petty bureaucrats and to tax, or she is left can funds off income he nothing Longley is doing con- political party solicit of governors meeting. resume hacks who staff 95 per $125, or a net profit of $25. election campaign is with travenes the Elections Act. after an Said Longley: "I stood up at cent of student society positions main problem with But the Revenue Canada, after three over. the meeting, and they asked me to really don't represent student this loophole isn't the arithmetic, political years of investigations and audits, "A contribution is sit down. I said 'no, I'm not opinion, that's reflected by it's getting people to believe him. and is still silent about the legality of about three or four times more ef- going to sit down. If you're going participation sys- "It's worked very well for me lack of in the the loophole. fective than a charitable dona- to start evicting people with a They bullshit." and a small group of friends, but tem. know it's all 112? IWE LIKE DIRT! U.T.& T. RESUMES, POSTERS I Do you? If so I AND ANY DESIGN & WThere are justtwo positions still M PRINTING YOU NEED jg|available at Student Publications.. RESUMES (professional quality at student prices)

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COME AND SEE US ON THE 2ND FLOOR OF NECESSARYI 1 THE STUDENT UNION BUILDING OR CALL I NO EXPERIENCE j AT 884 -2990. (ask for Tony) 8 . The Cord Weekly 8 Thursday, October 27, 1988 Hallowe'en Hallowe'en. Where did it start and why do we celebrate it faithfully each year? Do witches really exist? Why the pumpkin for the traditional Jack-o-Lantern? Why do we say 'Trick or Treat'? Some of the above questions don't have any answers other than being long lost traditions. However, to answer if witches really do exist or not, you could be surprised. The following are excerpts from previous features that will hopefully explain the mayhem of ghost, goblins and goolies on Hallowe'en.

The bonfire blazes. The witches nature goddess. Many Traditions gather for their Sabbat. There's (or sects) also worship a God who a full coven of thirteen as- is the Consort of the Goddess; in sembled around the fire. They one of his aspects the God pos- dance and chant in adoration of sesses deer antlers and is part their Master, his Satanic animal in his role as Lord of the Majesty. Hunt and Lord of Death. The Goddess has three aspects linked Fantasy! Pure fantasy. There to the phases of the is litlle historic evidence that any Moon —Maiden, Mother, and such rite every took place. Crone—corresponding with the In fact, this description of a waxing, full and waning phases. witches' Sabbat is purely the pro- Wiccans believe in never-ending duct of the imagination of the In- cycles of birth, death, and rebirth, quisition, which raged across just as the Moon's phases and the Europe in the 16th and 17th seasons are continually in cycle. centuries. In the Church's effort Upon death, people travel to the to root out heretics they widened Summerland where they grow their focus decade after decade young again and are eventually until the conditions were ripe for reborn upon the Earth. the Witch Craze. Eventually, the There are eight festivals in the definition of heretic included Wiccan religion: the Great festi- witches; the definition of witch vals, which are October 31st, encompassed ceremonial February Ist, May Ist, and Au- magicians, herbalists, midwives, gust Ist; and the Lesser festivals the few remaining pagans, and which are the solstice and anyone who did not conform to eqionox phases. These eight festi- the dominant religion. At the vals compose the Wheel of the height of the Witch Craze, a Year. In addition the Wheel of 'witch' could be anyone you the Year, Wiccans celebrate the didn't like; and most of the full moon. people who died in the Terror Hallowe'en, or Samhain (pro- were simply unpopular people in nounced So-wen) is the New their respective towns and vil- Year's Eve for Wiccans, in cor- lages. respondence with the old Celtic It was horrifying to be ac- calendar. It is the time of year cused of being a witch, for the In- when the boundaries between this quisitional courts were designed world and the next are the thin- so that it was easy to prove the nest and thus it is a time to pay accused was a witch and very dif- homage to the dead. As well, ficult for the accused to prove Samhain is also a time when it is that she was not. The majority of possible to connect with the next people accused of being witches world. were tortured into confession. Wiccan festivals are a rather However, according to the histor- unsensational affair. Some Tradi- ic record there is no evidence that tions worship in the nude, some diabolical witchcraft ever existed. worship robed. The rituals do not Far more substantial evidence ex- involve orgies, but they do in- ists that the Witch Craze was clude dancing and chanting, with nothing but Christian fiction. a sacred meal of cakes and wine Regardless, there are witches afterwards. Aside from the fact today. Do these people worship that some covens work in the Satan? No, they don't! nude there is little shocking about There is no link between the the Wiccan faith, except that fictitious diabolic witchcraft cre- Wiccans are not Christian—but ated by the Christian Church and neither are Jews, Muslims, modern witchcraft, or Wicca. Hindus, Sikhs and Buddhists and Wicca is a religion that is part very few people find that shock- pagan survival but mosdy modern ing. re-creation. In Europe, especially Morality and ethics are simply Britain, there is evidence of defined in one law. If it harms no pagan survivals, though the evi- one, do what you will. All Wic- dence is minimal and mostly cans strictly adhere to this law, Christainised. Wicca would ap- and anyone who does not is not a pear to be in part a non- witch. Christianised pagan survival in which the gaps were filled in and My name is Windcrow, I am a embellished by Gerald Gardner, student at WLU and a practic- the founder of modern witchcraft. ing witch of the Independent So what is Wicca? Wicca is a Tradition. I believe that the Neopagan religion. It does not Wiccan Law is one of the best worship Satan, in fact Wiccans and most sensible moral codes consider Satan to be a Christian in existence as it involves the creation and therefore irrelevant. positive aspects rather than Wiccans consider Satanists to be being a string of thou shalt backward Christians. The primary nots. deity of Wicca is the Goddess, (the Cord Weekly, October who is basically an Earth Mother FEATURE 30th, 1986) The Cord Weekly 9 Thursday, October 27,1988

Witches ETC...

WITCHCRAFT AND MEDI- As you dole out the sweets to the children that come a- CINE IN THE MIDDLE knocking at your door, or while you make your way to the AGES: Turret or elsewhere in costume this Hallowe'en, you may Witches lived and were be interested to know that you are participating in a festi- burned long before the develop- val of ancient origin that has metamorphosed several ment of modem medical technol- times in the last two millennia. ogy. The great majority of them It had its beginning as a pre-Christian feast of the dead were lay healers serving the among the Celtic peoples of Britain and Ireland. The festi- population, and their sup- peasant val, Samhain, was the most important festival in the pression marks one of the open- ing struggles in the history of Celtic year; it was the New Year's Eve celebration. The women as healers. Celtic year began on the Ist of November, the date that The other side of the suppres- marked the beginning of winter. Samhain was the night sion of witches as healers was the between the old year and the new, a time when the border creation of a new male medical between this world and the Otherworld was most thin. under the protection profession, The Celts believed that Samhain was the time when the and patronage of the ruling classes. souls of all those who had died during the year travelled The age of witch-hunting to the Otherworld. At such a time it was felt that the souls spanned more than four centuries of the dead might choose to mingle with the living, and (from the 14th to the 17th thus people gathered to bake offerings of food to the dead century) in its sweep from and light bonfires to honour them and guide them on their Germany to England. It was born in feudalism and lasted—gaining journey. in virulence—well into the 'age The Christians attempts to eradicate Samhain failed, of reason'. The witch-craze took though not through lack of trying. The first attempt was different forms at different times with the creation of All Saints' Day on November Ist, a and places, but never lost its es- feast to commemorate all saints, especially those which sential character: that of a ruling didn't have their own special day. All Saints' Day was class campaign of terror directed The Goddess of the Moon—the witches' goddess. against the female peasant popu- also known as All Hallows, Hallow meaning sanctified, lation. Witches represented a reli- is obvious: The witch-craze did painkillers, digestive aids and and thus Samhain became known as Hallows' Eve, Hal- gious, political and sexual threat not arise spontaneously in the anti-inflammatory agents. lowe'en. to Protestant and Catholic Chur- peasantry. It was a calculated The witch-healer's methods The supernatural forces that wandered the earth on this well as to the state. ruling class campaign of ter- threat (to the ches alike, as were as great a night were now believed to be evil and malevolent, but Two of the most common rorization. Catholic Church, if not the were food theories of the witch-hunts are The most fantastic accusation Protestant) as her results, for the the old customs basically the same; and drink basically medical interpretations, of all was that witches helped and witch was an empiricist: She were left outside to placate them. As time went on the attributing the witch craze to un- healed those who had no doctors relied on her senses rather than on practice of mumming evolved. People would dress up as explainable outbreaks of mass and hospitals, and who were bit- faith or doctrine, she believed in ghosts, demons, or skeletons and travel door to door on hysteria. One version has it that terly afflicted with poverty and trial and error, cause and effect. Hallowe'en performing antics for food and drink; the went mad. Accord- disease. The church told these was not religiously the peasantry Her attitude modern trick or treating by costumed children is a direct ing to this, the witch craze was an sufferers that their torment was a passive, but actively inquiring. of custom. epidemic of mass hatred and mark of sin. She trusted her ability to find descendant this panic cast in images of a blood- But the gout and apoplexy of ways to deal with disease, preg- In recent years there has been a growing trend among lusty peasant mob bearing flam- the rich got plenty of attention. nancy and childbirth —whether adults to reclaim this festival from the children. The ing torches. Another psychiatric Kings and nobles had their court through medications or charms. adults rarely trick or treat; they do however, dress up in that the physicians who were men, some- In magic was science of interpretation holds short, her costume. Most bars and clubs now hold costume contests themselves were insane. times even priests. The real issue her time. witches Hallowe'en parties But, in fact, the craze was nei- was control: male upper class on Hallowe'en and many adults have ther a lynching party nor a mass healing under the gaze of the This article is excerpted from in their homes. In some cities, Hallowe'en takes on the suicide by hysterical women. church was acceptable, female Witches, Midwives and Nurses aura of a Mardi Gras, notably New York in the United Rather, it followed well-ordered healing as part of a peasant sub- by Barbara Ehrenreich and Deir- States and Vancouver in Canada, which celebrates the culture was not. procedures. dre English (Glass Mountain night with fireworks. Resilient and adaptable, far from Commonly, the accused was The wise woman, or witch, Pamphlets), and is available from being wiped out by Christianity, Samhain in the guise of stripped naked and shaved of all had a host of remedies which had New Hogtown Press, Toronto. her body hair, then subjected to been tested in years of use. Many Thanks to the Voice for this fea- Hallowe'en continues to live on. of the herbal remedies developed thumb-screws and the rack, ture. (the Cord Weekly, October 29th, 1987) spikes and bone-crushing "boots", by witches still have their place in (the Cord Weekly, October starvation and beatings. The point modern pharmacology. They had 31st, 1974) By Windcrow The Cord Weekly 10 Thursday, October 27,1988

THE CORD WEEKLY They call it Democracy One can't say enough about the Mulroney govern- ment's support of education. Think back on what those rascally right-wingers have done for Canadian students (and the general citizenry too!) over the last four years: * Cut funds for summer student employment by 12 per cent, from $201 million to $180 million in four years; * Cut funding to native students who wish to attend post-secondary institutions of learning; * Let the Canadian Student Loans program become an underfunded dinosaur in a time when, with rising tuition and cost-of-living, those loans are more impor- tant than ever; * Slash transfer payments to post-secondary educa-

— tion in the provinces drastically — by about one-fifth during a time of rapidly-increasing enrollment. Provincial education programs haven't had to bear the last cross alone, at least. The Tories have been mer- rily slashing away at medicare at the same time. Six billion dollars has been stolen from medicare and post- secondary education by the PCs. It's all part of a bigger picture. The Mulroney government has capped funding going towards ap- prenticeship programs for those who wish to learn I'll have a Biz burger and fries, please skilled trades. It backs a "free trade" deal which could While eating something in the Dining Hall

lead to rapidly - increasing tuition, an end to today (I'm still not sure what it was), I was struck government-sponsored medicare, and perhaps an end with an astounding idea, an idea that would solve COMMENT on a BY to Canadian culture itself. It threatens freedom of ex- all of Food Services' problems. I was chewing particularly grisly chunk of "meat" while sur- and of thought with Bill C-54. MARK HAND pression freedom rounded by exam stressed-out business students, What sort of government attacks the young and the when for some reason I thought of Jonathan Swift's sick, while attempting to tell everyone how to think as A Modest Proposal. For the biz-knobs, Swift's lhan trodding through the line and then discovering well? Need we note that 'Progressive Conservative' is proposal was a solution to the overpopulation of that they're serving Second Year biz-flesh tonight. an oxymoron, and that the actions of the Mulroney Ireland with poor folk-they should eat all the chil- "Give me a slice from under the Ralph Lauren tie population and government over its seemingly interminable term-of- dren thus controlling the size of the there," you could say to the nice lady behind the supplying a yummy food source. "Why, Wilfrid counter. Mmmm, yummy. On Fridays they could have on office placed the accent heavily the 'moron'? Laurier could do much the same thing with the biz- serve Third, maybe Fourth Year Eco-bunnies, and Or that the new campaign slogan of the Progressive knobs," thought I, thus creating a plan to rid the on really special-occasions like Christmas or Easter Conservative party, in imitation of its British counter- world of a few useless riffraff, and at the same time we could get some coveted Business Diploma meat, part, is "All's well that's Orwell." saving Food Services mega-bucks (since it is so ob- served up with an apple in the mouth and every- The federal government doesn't need those nuclear vious that they must be losing money or why else thing. Sure beats an Egg McLaurier or a cheese to us so much?). two of most war the would they have charge melt, the vile compilations of pseudo- submarines. It has already declared on Cana- Looking around our fair campus it is obvious to food ever called into creation. dian populace, and is doing a crackerjack job of beat- anyone who doesn't have their face buried in the When all things are considered, the plan is per- ing the hell out of us. Without ever having to fire a Globe's Report on Business that we have a problem fect. The campus would be cleaned up, Food Ser- shot... of our own with overpopulation. That is, there are a vices would save money from not having to buy the They call it democracy. Welcome to the gulag. hellish number of biz-knobs cluttering up the place. meat, and they could even charge more for these Being a sort of armchair environmentalist, it seems delicacies (I know that since I'm already condi- to me that the only way to beautify our campus is to tioned to paying $2.25 for a few scraps of chicken get rid of a few of these rabble. So let's eat them. finger I'd have no qualms about forking over a five- The average business student has been reared spot for some good food). No doubt some entrepre- A big Thumbs Down for the life of dollar signs and executive washrooms neuring young cattle would think really big and sell since birth, fattened up for the good life, you might our meat to other Universities for exorbitant prices Thumbs down to all those jerks who walk two and say. Since their mummies and daddies no doubt and make even more money. The real beauty of the their children plan is that since there are so many biz-knobs slim- three abreast (and sometimes even in teeming hordes) saw to it that the housekeeper fed well and kept them healthily plump and thoroughly ing around no one would ever miss them! seem to ex- down the sidewalks of Waterloo and then pampered, they would make perfect fodder for our This evening as I feast on roast hamster and pect anyone coming the other way to leap up on the cafeteria tables, tender and juicy (although some- cream of zucchini soup, I'll be imagining it's Biz- grass, in front of a bus or into an open man-hole to what stringy in some areas). What could be better knob, I only hope I don't choke of the polo. avoid them rather than deign to break formation. Hey, all you cute little oF gals and guys, whatever happened to politeness, civility and acting like human beings in- U2 reviewer off base on Rattle and Hum stead of self-centered brain-dead zombies from hell? ination of the American way. Yet Editor, The Cord: they are expected to do this and reflect their "proud Irish roots". writing reply to last LETTERS I am in Even Lennon or Dylan would be week's review of U2's latest al- TO Editorial opinions are approved by The Cord Editorial Board on behalf of Cord unable to satisfy the illogical University, the Students Union and the Student bum, Rattle and Hum. There was staff and are independent of the THE EDITOR demands of this review. The au- Publications Board. no name attached to the review, seems unable to cope with and it's clear why. Did The Edge thor EDITORIAL BOARD the changing style of a band—the run over this guy's dog? Did nallmark of a conservative Leblanc, News Editor Bono shoot his (or her) parents? I ducts. U2 has given new life to Cori Ferguson, Editor-in-Chief Bryan C. moron. And a meanminded one at Jonathan Stover, Associate News Editor Brad Lyon, Sports Editor can see no other reason for creat- and furthered the messages of Neville Blair, Scene Editor Kat Rios, Production Manager mudslinging piece of "Helter Skelter" and "All Along that. ing such a "If the Erika Sajnovic, Features Editor shit. the Watchtower". It is refreshing To quote the review: band were not so set on using terms. U2 was condemned in the to see a band that recognizes and The Cord is published during the fall and winter academic Offices are lo- performances taped on the Amer- cated on the second floor of the Student Union Building, at Wilfrid Laurier Uni- review for the use of cover songs pays tribute to previous musical ican leg of the tour, better per- versity, 75 University Ave W., Waterloo (519) 884-2990. The Cord is a member by such greats as Dylan and The works. 112annHian Community Newspaper Association. could have been in- of University Press and the Ontario Beatles. I would rather see these Surprisingly, the author formances Copyright 1988, WLU Student Publications. No part of The Cord may be cluded". We to assume, then, songs used by musicians than by recogizes an important facet of are reproduced without the permission of the Editor-in-Chief. continued on page 11 Coke or Nike to push their pro- Rattle and Hum: a cynical exam- The Cord Weekly 11 Thursday, October 27, 1988 Reviewer 'bugs the hell' out of reader continued from page IT) Editor's Note: The name of the dents of WLU. Question that the globe-trotting author has reviewer was not purposely left Mr. Stockholm's often con- witnessed U2 concerts in Europe off the U2 article. Inadvertently fusing tirade was aimed at Ms. and all over the world? it fell off the flats. The reviewer Toth's attempts to get the ob- The album is said to suffer was Tony Burke. viously violently sexist game, from "muddy guitar sound and known as "Double Dragon" out lousy vocals". First, regarding of the the Week of the Games Room. sound: my version on CD sounds Thanks a bunch! Yes, Mr. Stockholm, you are great. Perhaps the reviewer Editor, The Cord, By Bill Rockwood and Jon Rohr no doubt correct that this action listened to a tape of an album. will, in itself, do little to decrease More likely the mud is in his (or On behalf of the Oktoberfest Who is your favourite cartoon hero and why? the amount of rapes in Canada or her) ears. Bono's vocals are Committee, I would like to thank the World for that matter. lousy? This is news to most all those people who helped make Nor could WLU, for example, people who can't hear a dif- the show such a success. The prevent singly-handedly the ference from previous releases, Committee consisting of Marc depletion of the ozone layer by except a greater vocal range. Navabi and Dave Lanza wish to banning styrofoam cups in the Some people get off on maligning express their gratitude to Molsons Torque Room. All we can do is Wonder Woman. She's a total obviously talented people to com- for their sponsorship as they sup- attempt to keep our own house 80's woman who's representative pensate for their own pathetic plied us with door prizes and con- j clean. of today's feminist movement shortcomings. test prizes throughout the This is supposedly an institu- Then there is the raving con- festivities. Morty was cool Feminist bitch from hell tion of higher learning! Surely, clusion: "In their pomposity as enough to help out as well. here of all places, the trivializa- the demi-gods of rock, U2 have Thanks! The Administrative staff tion of important social issues attempted to redefine the medium was superb! Special thanks to should be condemned, in their own image". All one can Marray Jose, Marie Gillicksar, not en- couraged. say to this example of bad gram- the dining hall, and the Turret Rather than stupidly accepting the mar, incorrect word use and staff - Paul you're so cool! for social norms that popular paranoid thinking is...well I don't their patience and perserverance. culture espouses, particularly violence really know what to say but O.K. now for all the friends who towards women, we should ap- "Huh?!". gave up their Oktoberfest Party plaud and encourage the efforts The tribute to John Lennon is Nights to volunteer, we want you jf the likes of Anna Toth and even !!" a to we you're criticized. "God Part is know that think all other social activists. much-needed rebuttal to Albert so cool! We couldn't have done it without just stay as Batman, because I love his car Goldman's dirty character assas- you. So cool, Samuel D. Kuhn sination,"The Lives of John Len- you are! I guess it's about time to non". I can't believe that U2 feels start school, so once again Danke Mike Levinski that Lennon is indebted to them, Schon! Ass. News Ed. A Communist? 2nd year Geography as the author postulates. Thanks for lettingusget this in I am not comparing U2 to the late.Cori, you're a super Editor. legends of rock. Nor am I sug- Editor, The Cord: gesting that Rattle and Hum is the Oktoberfest Committee. next Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Dave Lanza Regarding the article "Bizarre Club Band. I am,however, speak- Marc Navabi. Duality in Supreme Court ing out against musical ig- Ruling" (The CORD, October norance, horrendous writing and Writer insulted 20th) by Jonathan Stover, let me the total lack of reasoning skills say lhat, while I agreed w'tli Mr. showcased in this pitiful excuse Stover's opinion on the main sub- for a review. You say Bono bugs Toth and WLU Editor, The Cord: ject, he said many things thai you? Well, unknown reviewer, were both ignorant and wrong (I you bug the hell out of me! Last week's letter by Sean hope this last work doesnt offend Bugs Bunny because he is a was cally Stockholm was an insult not only you, I know how you in the lcft- wabbit like me Sean Stokholm to Anna Toth, but also to the stu- continued on page 12 Juliet Grau Bloom County 4th year, Hons. Biz by Berke Breathed

Mighty Mouse because he only sings "here I come to save the day!"

Frank Reilly 2nd year, Cartoon Studies

Popeye, because I like spinach

Sheri Parker Ist year Sociology The Cord Weekly 12Thursday, October 27,1988 people let them I continued from page 11 even a three year old to keep retarded are with severe know what think. developmental handicaps. The However, I feel sufficiently wing world shudder whenever them from doing this? I don't Cameron responds mentally ill are quite often small-1 peeved that I want to bitch here hear it.) recall ever tying my mentally you liberal big-M Moron types who as well. Editor, The Cord: with, mentally retarded sister down, but maybe To start gravitate to such occupations as I have no complaints about retarded people do not "jump off Mr. Stover's family does that sort journalism and eventually reach the quality of the food. It is nei- I find it strangly hypocritical balconies" or even "stick their of thing. complete mental and moral cor- ther better nor worse than any that the CORD would heads in ovens" as Mr. Stover Mentally retarded people are refuse to ruption, because that is the logical other institution food. However, publish "political suggests they do. When was the not crazy. Why do you insist on mud slinging" extension fo new liberalism. the prices are ridiculous. Dinner letter, time you had to tie down a lumping them together with the then you turn around and last And why the continued preoc- at the Torque Room today was 10-year-old, or a six-year-old, or mentally ill? The mentally publish a personal attack on me cupation with Fascism? Other chicken burgers. At 5:30, when I from Wendy Watson, Executive columnists in the CORD have went to eat, they had run out of V.P. of WLUSU, who, in her own loudly denounced South Africa buns. Thus it was chicken patties words, puts my "competence into Halifax (£O/10 and Chile, without noting that the that they were selling, rather than - question". Dec. 22 Jan. 02 JhvH other countries in Africa and chicken burger. Out of sheer Regarding my Guest Com- South America are doing remark- curiosity, I asked if we were ment about the inability of ably less well than eith of these being charged less because of the WLUSU to make decisions CD c , and ■ i Saskatoon <£inQ two countries economically (and lack of buns. Surprise, surprise, follow the rules, I believe that the Dec. 21 - Jan. 04 what good is a vote if you can't it was the same price ($2.25) spirit of the law was broken by V—< eat?) and far worse than South without the bun. The lady at the certain WLUSU officials. I never Africa on human rights (e.g. Zim- cash register politely informed questioned the competence of the babwe, Mozambique, Angola, me that it would amount to only administration though; I believe CO idmonton <£3£Q Ethiopia, Unganda, Zambia). about 20 cents difference that it IS incompetent. There is Dec. 21 - 04 I Jan. Now we have Mr. Stover calling anyhow. no question about it in my mind. Margaret Thatcher a Fascist! Apparently, their attitude is, This is illustrated by the serving What does that make you, oh "What's 20 cents one way or the of alcohol in a non-licensed area. Vancouver mighty associate editor? a Com- other?" I would feel the same This- is blatantly illegal, yet was departure - Dec. 21 or 23 (tA, Q munist? or maybe someone who way if it were not for the fact that done with the full knowledge of U gets politics Billy Bragg I am charged 10 cents for every return-Jan. 03 or 04 his from WLUSU, including the President records. pap of butter and 15 cents for Karen Bird. This is the best rea- CO You also talk about "knee- every spoonful of jam that I use. son that the entire executive All departures from Toronto. jerk shit". What, may I ask, is I won't mention that a single should resign. more knee-jerk than liberalized banana costs 55 cents. W Departure tax not Included. Fares While it is true that I do not baby-murder laws? or levying I object to paying $2.25 for a a position WLUSU, . subject to government approval. hold within it heavier taxes on corporations? piece of chicken that costs 85 is wrong to say that I am not in- There are the knee-jerk reactions cents at A & P ( yes, I checked book volved. I am a paying member of Contact IRAVELCUIS I of big-jerk people who refuse to it!!!), and a bun that I didn't get. WLUSU, and therefore have a responsibility or control over . your trip home for the holidays. take No doubt Food Services gets their say in how it should be run. their own lives. Let me add, most food in bulk, and thus, even WLUSU was, the last time I gracious commentator, that the cheaper than this. It is even more University Shops Plaza, checked, based on the principle of bet way to gain implementation offensive when you consider that democracy. I am involved in 170 University Ave. W., is to allow the of insane programs we are supposed to be poor stu- politics on a provincial and feder- Waterloo (519) 886-0400 insane to vote for them. dents on a budget and that we al level, and I consider that far SZh have no choice but to subscribe to more important than this petty, '. THE Craig THE RAVEL COMPANY OF Dellandrea the meal plan during first year. dogmatic, incompetent adminis- y CANADIAN FEDERATION OF STUDENTS Sure, this is predominantly a tration. Obviously this adminis- The price ain't right Business and Economics school, tration feels they are somehow and Food Services has a right to "demi-gods" that rule from the **** Editor, The Cord, try and make a profit, but there is throne of the Student Union Us** 1 a difference between being profit- Building. I will not thank execu- 5 TRAVELCUTS— The purpose of this letter is to minded and being penny- tive members of WLUSU be- ■hhmhhhi GoingYour Way! vent my spleen regarding Food pinching. cause I don't feel they deserve it; Services. I recognize that the I give credit where it is due. Yours, proper place for this is the "sug- gestion box", and I have indeed David Broderick Robert Cameron Birds ofa feather BLOOM COUNTY by Berke Breathed m flock to Casey's

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When the curtain falls to no applause, When no one goes to sell out shows, You're pushing up daisies... Life goes on and on. The Scene - The Colourfield The Fundamentals Of Basic English By Neville Blair of the audience by suprise. Ter- rific three-part harmonies, pro- I was skeptical, to say the vided by lead guitarist and co- least, as I descended the stairs songwriter, John Davis and bas- into the acoustical and architec- sist Sean Ryan, gave a unique tural labyrinth of The breadth to the song. Bombshelter last Saturday night. The band was applauded I thought to myself that smarter loudly after this initial number folks would either be indulging and, unlike so many pub bands, their alcoholic vices in less cav- after each song that was thrown ernous venues or, at the very out. Numbers such as Armour's least, be lying on a couch at home "Outside and nursing the hangovers they had The Law" Davis' "Images Of were lovingly earned themselves the night be- Love" intertwined with some cover fore. I cuddled up nice and close songs that were refreshing simply to one of the speakers and con- because one rarely vinced myself it all might be hears them covered: Dylan's "Highway 61", worth it. The advance word on Leonard Cohen's "Avalanche", the Toronto based quartet, Basic and a powerfully committed ver- English, was impressive to say sion of "Maggie's Farm" are the least: recipients of the 1987 three notables. CASBY (Canadian Artists The sound of English Selected By You) Award for best Basic has at com- non-recording band; winners of various times been pared to likes R.E.M., the 1987 Q-107 Homegrown con- the of the Georgia Satellites and, not sur- test which had attracted some 750 prisingly ,the early Stones. There entrants; a recent single, "Images Basic English: reading from left to right are band members Roger Whyte, Tim Armour, Sean Ryan and is a pure, guitar-edged sound to of Love", was now being aired John Davis. Last year's Q-107 Homegrown winners will play the Turret on Wednesday, November 9th. this band, and their lyrics display and shown on MuchMusic. I a dangerous intelligence comforted myself further with a com- bined with a distinctly literary ity material stopped only long perfect example of a phenomena their live shows can be trans- couple of tall-boys until the band bent. The addictive, un- enough to allow Armour to com- that we hear a lot about but see muted onto record. If not, it's took the stage. compromising nature of ment on the mirrors surrounding very of: a group with a everyone's loss. The music that immediately the little material does, however, leave one them and to ask how many people definite future. The songwriting shook the half-filled hall was tru- If you're even a little bit skep- unsure whether to to had heard of Leonard Cohen. team of Armour and Davis has ly unlike anything I have heard listen the tical of this glowing review, show music or to just dance to it. Armour also displayed an ad- proven to be a powerful combina- live in quite a while: tight, com- mirable penchant for breaking up at the Turret on Wednesday, tion. One can only hope that at fortable yet imposing music The second set of the evening strings during the band's num- November 9th and prove me the of year, as guarantee jarred only slightly by a perfectly saw the band attack the stage with bers, giving a fairly good indica- end the their Cana- right. Because I you in dian tour comes to a close and the slack-jawed lead vocalist named unflagging enthusiasm which was tion of the amount of drive be- a few years, you'll be saying: Tim Armour. "Lost In The willingly reciprocated by an ap- hind the numbers. band prepares to enter the studio "You know, I saw those guys Shadows" barrelled along with a preciative crowd. The band's to record an album, that some of when...". Basic English is the real fervour and energy that look most seemingly endless stream of qual- Basically, Basic English is a the drive and inspiration found in thing. Reansbury Wins Some New Friends At Wilfs at "that place" down the street. To Merritt as his major influence, By Tony Burke calm the ugly mood he had care- Reansbury humbly said: "Scott lessly generated, he quickly broke Merritt is to music what Gretzky "This is so much like a living into the humourous "Vampire is to hockey. But I'm blue col- room. Don't spill anything!" a Beavers", a song written by Joe lar." Reansbury able to With those words, singer was con- Hall of The Continental Drift. vince the audience of his Doug Reansbury established the own Reansbury rounded off the sixty musical genius as he played mood at Wilf's on Saturday night. minute opening set with "You "Dance and Sing", "Waiting", The audience was thoroughly Really Got A Hold On Me" by "All Your Blues Away", delighted by his musicality, and "Smokey Robinson and filtered "Tonight I Sat And Thought" be- humour, and energy, and were through the Beatles". He followed fore closing the three hour show surprised to find themselves with "Ship In A Bottle" and with "The slowly being Ballad Of John And drawn into the "Shamus 303", two of the songs Yoko". show, becoming, in effect, part of featured on his album. It was evident that Doug the band. It wasn't until the second set Doug Reansbury began his that the fun really began. Reans- Reansbury gained many new fans musical career as a sideman for bury passed out shakers (pop cans among the audience at Wilf's on Scott Merritt, a classmate at St. filled with sand), so that the Saturday night, as the pleased John's College in Brantford, audience could provide percus- listeners scooped up copies of his Ontario. The two guitarists sion to such songs as Van Mor- album at twelve dollars a shot. played the college coffee house rison's "Moondance", Bob Mar- I'm sure his own following will circuit for a number of years, in- ley's "One Love/People Get grow as he brings his "Anything creasing Merritt's repertoire and Ready" and the reggae-tinged For A Buck" tour through Water- establishing a cult following for "Rasta Pasta Tune". Reansbury loo once again during the new his new style of modern folk also persuaded the crowd to year. music. Eventually the pressures whistle along to Otis Redding's Playing in such an intimate of touring proved too much for years to create. Joined on stage attached to his acoustic guitar, "Dock Of The Bay". Revealing setting as Wilf's , and with so Reansbury and he was forced to by Craig Jones, a singer and bass Reansbury made full use of his himself to be a man who listens little stage room, it is difficult to leave the band. player of formidable talent, freedom of sound and movement to Carly Simon albums rather provide a show that is both inter- Reansbury romped through two to entertain the crowd. After one than one who just looks at the For the past seven years esting and exciting. Doug Reans- sets of music from his new al- lap around the cafe, Reansbury covers, Reansbury crooned Reansbury has worked as a bury is a special performer who bum, classic cover tunes, and reappeared at the microphone to through Simon's "Anticipation". school teacher and a social proved that he would not r songs from his folk sing "Talk To Me", a song he He's a pretty sensitive guy. be worker servicing Federal prisons litUe-known limited by any physical confines; contemporaries. wrote about The highlight of the show in his home town of Kingston. music communication. he made the entire stage began with a display came when Reansbury strapped room his Doug raised enough money to in- The first set In a rash of courage, and the Employing an on an electric guitar to play Scott audience his dearest dependently release his debut al- short instrumental. Reansbury revealed to us that he friends. a unit Merritt's "Transistor". Citing bum in June; a record that took array of pedals and remote was involved in undergrad work The Cord Weekly 14 Thursday, October 27, 1988 Cool School Daze By Jordan Lay vu. The film deals with the con- Spike Lee is a genius. He is flict and contradictions that Dun- Inside in lop to see his fellow stu- Tracks the best young film-maker comes in America. Lee's latest movie, dents. The light-skinned blacks although brilliant, are pitted against the dark- huge areas of the Amazon Forest. Growing evi- School Daze, by Dave Lackie not terribly accessible to skinned blacks in a series of con- dence points out that the destruction of the forest, may be student. frontations that are as painfully responsible for roughly one-third of the world's your average Laurier album, Rattle And Hum, has quickly be- the humour and the humourous as they are all too U2's oxygen, is largely responsible for the disruption of Much of come the best selling album in Britain this year, and of the sadly true. Lee makes his state- the global climate. The destruction also takes a asides will be outside it appears that it will do the same in Canada. In one grasp. ment cleverly; the ending is as staggering toll on the varied wildlife of that audience's cultural week alone, the album sold 300,000 copies in usually in- satisfying as any you will ever region. ...Nimbus Records in Britain believe that Lee startled the Britain and immediately entered the charts at num- cinematic com- they have come up with a four hour CD and are sular American ber one. It is the second highest weekly sale of any releasing a currently testing the disc, which has double the ca- munity last year by album the history of the British Music Industry titled She's in pacity of existing CD's. But even if the four hour low budget feature with the highest weekly sale of an album going to It. NYU cinema discs become technically feasible, there are doubts Gotta Have The Michael Jackson's Bad earlier this year. Rattle as a that the record industry would accept the idea. They graduate was heralded And Hum did have the highest weekly sale ever of a for depiction of the do not want to go off making four hour al- prodigy his double album, easily beating the previous record set bums....Steven Duffy is back with a new band relationship a New York woman by Frankie Goes To Hollywood's Welcome To several different men; called The Lilac Time. You will remember Duffy has with The Pleasure Dome. A spokesman at the Virgin was a stylistic showpiece the the film Mega Store on Oxford Street in London reported as the founding member of Duran Duran and while simultaneously engaging sang dance classic, "Kiss Me". Duffy that Monday they had sold 500 albums before 9:30 artist who the the viewer throughout. taken an turn with his new band which a.m. and they had sold a total of 1000 albums and has artistic Lee's follow-up film, School to and Garfunkel. The new 600 tapes before lunchtime. Store employees had to sounds similar Simon Daze looks at the way in which single Got To Love". This band fill the shelves every half hour. U2 mania con- is entitled "You've the students of the fictional Mis- grows on you with each listening and is highly tinues....Bryan Ferry returns with a new single this sion College choose to deal with is planning a Spin-off week entitled "Let's Stick Together". The 1988 recommended....CKMS the problem of apartheid in South Pledge scheduled from midnight Octo- remix is backed with "Trash" by Roxy Music and Fundraiser Africa. Like a good stand-up co- ber to midnight October 28th: Please support the 12" single contains the previously unreleased 27th median, everything that Lee radio in Waterloo. version of "Let's Stick Together", "Shame, Shame, alternative satirizes is exaggerated but still is see, despite its quirky surrealism. Shame" and a dance mix of Roxy Music's "Angel so true that it hurts. School Daze is a disturbing Eyes". The new single will appear on a forthcoming The hero of the film, Dap movie, but one that, should be greatest hits album entitled The Ultimate Collec- Dunlop, (Larry Fishburne), is the seen. It is a positive film in tone, tion....Annie Lennox has teamed up with A 1 Green only one who truly is dedicated to and on artistic terms it manages for the release of an A&M single, "Put A Little See getting the all-black university to to be clever and sage at the same Love In Your Heart", featured on the soundtrack My divest in South Africa. The irony time. for the Bill Murray movie, Scrooged. The song of an all-black university having School Daze plays at the Prin- was produced by Eurythmic's colleague, Dave Baby investment in South Africa is dis- cess theatre this evening at 9:00 Stewart....Sting has challenged the Brazilian turbing to the politically pre- p.m. and again tomorrow night at government to arrest him for speaking out against Jive occupied students of the school, 7:00 p.m. Don't miss this op- the destruction of the Amazon Forest and the plight but not nearly as important as portunity to see Spike Lee's in- of the nation's Indians. Sling is adding his voice to going out on Friday night. Deja sightful and brilliant work. the growing world condemnation of the clearing of

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, SHORT NOTICE ill FRIDAY OCTOBER 29th 1988 II II •Admittance without waiting HI nfl for patrons with costume jnj U|| King & Erb St. Uptown Waterloo HUI Ws] 885-5840 k£| The Cord Weekly 15Thursday, October 27, 1988 Demigod of the Week Satire by John Oberholtzer make-up to cover up a bear and George: Hare Krishna, hare moustache. Even Lennon, who by krishna, hare... his own admission was very at- John: I can't stand it tracted to Fidel Castro, was sick- anymore! America is making me ened by the idea of doing love daft! Look at George, he's a zom- scenes with a "fuckin' bearded bie! It's all too much! ex-Mouseketeer". Revelation #3: John Lennon's Ringo: Now calm down, John. 1965 statement that the Beatles I'll handle the press, I'll make the were more popular than Jesus record deals, and I'll handle the Christ was an unfortunate slip of songwriting. Leave everything to the tongue. Lennon had meant to me. You just play your guitar. say that they were more popular And John, I don't want you hang- than Jerry Lewis. Despite much ing around that Japanese bird of the anti-Beatle sentiment that anymore. Got it? sprouted up in the southern U.S. John: (humbly) Yes. Thanks, when Lennon uttered his original Ringo. Demigod* Albert Goldman statement, Starr speculates that While this is all fascinating the Beatles would have offended stuff, there are still a few ques- the entire country had Lennon I don't believe in Kennedy, tions that come to mind. First of mentioned Lewis instead of I don't believe in Elvis, all, how did a man whose last Jesus. I don't believe in Zimmerman, writing was done with a crayon Revelation #4: I don't believe in Beatles. The other actually Write an entire book? Beatles were jealous of Starr's Starr admits that noted popularity - America and John Lennon in in 1967 ghostwriter, Klaus Voorman, who they conspired to replace him is reported to have contributed to with Mickey Dolenz of the Although the Beatles split up Richard Nixon's Crimes I Monkees. But when Ringo Knockouts Deliver Punch more than eighteen years ago, pre- Haven't Committed and Dan sented them with the 13 songs their music remains incredibly Quayle's that would constitute Sgt. Pep- Golf Tips For U.S. popular today and almost sacred with the Despite Poor Attendance per's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Senators, helped him to some, despite Lennon's stated writing of the book. By Doranne Domik disbelief. While the power of so- they had a change of heart. It On the evening of Wednesday, October 19,1 sat in the Turret in a cially aware performers such as would not last long, though. Finally, and perhaps most im- state of confusion. From 8:00 until 9:30 there were only four concert- Bruce Springsteen, U2 and Rick Shockingly, Starr was thrown out portantly, it could be suggested goers, other than myself, waiting to see the Knockouts. The night ad- Astley is unquestionable, the pub- vanced, and by 10:00, when the band appeared, there was an im- lic remains fascinated by the pressive crowd of seventeen in attendance. Beatles. Dozens of books have This lack of Laurier support perplexed me. The Knockouts played been written about The Fab Four, in Waterloo Park during Frosh Week and were very well received by many by group insiders and one icebreakers and frosh alike. by George Harrison himself. After voicing my disbelief, I was quickly informed that there were In the wake of the recent con- several items working against the band that evening: the World Series troversy over the publication of was on, Gretzky played in Edmonton against the Oilers for the first Albert Goldman's "The Lives of time, and of course, mid-term exams. John Lennon", yet another defini- When the band appeared on stage they seemed somewhat shocked tive biography is about to be un- at the size of their audience; keyboard player Victor D'Arsie leashed, but unlike Goldman's humourously describing it as "a jam session". At that point I began to tasteful yet vicarious wonder about the quality of the concert to come. However the open- psychoanalysis of Lennon, the ing number, an original called "Head Over Heals" set the mood for an focus of this opus is on another evening of loud, energetic rock and roll. member of the group. As the night advanced, it became obvious that the Knockouts The Real Starr by Richard were not the run-of-the-mill cover band, rather they played mostly Starkey is being lauded as the originals, interspersed with their own interpretations of songs by such true story of the Beatles. Richard musical greats as Buddy Holly, Deep Purple and the Doors. Starkey is, of course, Ringo Starr, The technical virtuosity of the band was impressive. Each mem- which would lead one to believe ber had superior control over their instrument, and a cool stage that this would be an accurate and presence. warm account of the Beatles. Their rendition of the Doors classic "Love Me Two Times Babe" While it is difficult to question was absolutely amazing. If ever Jim Morrison had a sound-alike, it Ringo's accuracy, since he was was Victor D'Arsie. there, many will criticize his bru- When asked how they would describe themselves, bassist Anton tal honesty in exposing the Evans simply said "We're a very hard working band. We perform idiosyncrasies of the other three constantly." Lead singer/guitarist Michael Zweig does most of the Beatles. In rewriting the entire song writing, but all four members contribute. The Toronto-based history of the group, Starr is sure band has definite recording plans; wanting to have a blues-based rock to create a controversy of his and roll sound. own. Following are some When asked how they felt about the attendance of the concert, heretofore unknown facts: drummer Terry Martell stated "It's tough cooking a good meal for Revelation #1: Starr actually yourself. They understood the circumstances surrounding the low wrote, or rewrote, much of the turnout, and would love to play at Laurier again. Hopefully next time Beatles' material. He claims to they won't be scheduled during exam time. have transformed Len- of the group in 1969 and was re- that Starr is cashing in on the I think we'll be hearing a lot more about The Knockouts in the fu- non/McCartney songs "She placed by Sonny Bono for the controversy created by Mr. Gold- ture. Loathes You" and "I Want To final two albums. man's recent book and other Mortgage" into "She films whose focus is on Hold Your While Starr has nice also the Loves You" and "I Want To Hold some Beatles. After all, The Real Starr things to say about his former Your Hand", respectively. Eighty is completely different from any bandmates, the following excerpt other songs were totally written other history of the group. But shows what really happened be- by Starr, but Lennon and McCart- Starr bristles at the accusation hind closed doors. The scene is a ney showered him with gifts in- that he only did it for the money: hotel room in New York City "I resent the fact that some cluding new drumsticks and during the 1964 tour: people are accusing me of writing Twinkies, so that Starr Ringo: I think we Hostess need a this book only for the cash," he over songs. change in our stage act, would hand the fellows. says. "Hell, I don't need the Craig Revelation #2: Starr had to There has to be a certain unique- money. I still get the royalties other three into starring in ness in everything Paul, talk the we do. from the two songs the others film, A Hard Day's Night, be- from now on you the play guitar left- didn't steal from me. And bes- they wanted to appear in handed. Understood? Brian cause ides, I'm narrating a new chil- Bingo instead. Paul: Yes, sir. by Beach Blanket dren's cartoon show. I always convinced the other What finally Ringo: Good. George, I've knew I'd end up on top in the three was an ugly incident where decided that you can do one of end". that their co-star, it was revealed your songs on our next album. If only Mr. Goldman were so heavy Photos Annette Funicello, used What do you think of that? lucky. The Cord Weekly 16j Thursday, October 27,1988 The Count Makes Scary Halloween Video Picks

by a guy in an evil-dead-genre revealed as the monsters they are. "Count Floyd" no less!). A fine example of artful by Jonathan gets Whatever you do, don't watch Stover movie who his hand replaced film-making, kids. them to keep everybody happily one alone! by a chainsaw. Viewing hint: Get this scared. If you've got access to a Angelheart - It's a complex a large group of people together - Hey kids, Count Floyd here. Videodrome Featuring the big-screen TV, Floyd would ad- and get wasted before watching one, kids, and Floyd wouldn't ad- It's that scary time of year again scariest TV set ever! David vise you use it, especially for the this film, kids. Ooh, you'll really vise any drinking before this one, — no, not exam time, kids. That's Cronenberg goes crazy in this first one, because otherwise you be scared! or you won't know what's going ! — one, with people developing VCR can't see a damned thing in some too scary even for old Floyd on at acting - all. Lisa Bonet's Hellraiser Featuring the slots in their bellies, television will of the scenes. no, I'm talking about Halloween scare you senseless, but she at time! Awooooooo! Rubik's Cube from Hell! The sets sprouting breasts, and Dawn of the Dead - If you demanding least appears nude to make up for Hahaha! Scared you that time, moral of this film, kids, is never Deborah Harry James can get a copy that hasn't been at- mess Woods to bum holes her with it. Robert DeNiro makes a guest didn't I! around with Rubik's cubes, in tacked by those scary guys on the Seeing as they cancelled Ontario Censorship Board, you'll Monster Chiller Horror Theatre, really enjoy this film. Everyone the Count doesn't have anyplace in the world is a zombie, or so it to show all those fine horror films seems, and all they want to do is he loves so much. Like Blood- hang around at shopping malls sucking Monkeys from West and eat the flesh of the living. Hampton, Pennsylvania. Oooh, Well, actually there's more to this there was a scary one! Or how film than that, and it even has about Dr. Tongue's 3-D House some subtleties of plot and of Pancakes. All those pancakes character, which is really scary! and syrup leaping right out at The Sound of Music - you! The scariest for last. Has Boy, those were the good old there ever been anything more terrifying days. Now, all I get is three lousy than Julie Andrews singing "The minutes every week on Ed Grim- Sound of Music" while dancing ley's cartoon show. Oooh, boy, all over the Alps? Or that scary I'm telling you, it almost makes Canadian actor, Christopher me want to be an alcoholic again! Plummer, singing "Edelweiss" Anyway, enough of all that killing terrifying sentimental crap. The and a Nazi horde with his because you might call up hor- lit cigarettes! It's a kinky one, appearance as ultimate evil, and awful voice? Or all those old Count can still tell you what hor- rible white-fleshed creatures kids, but Floyd thinks you'll en- Mickey Rourke is so unbathed rifyingly movies to rent out over Hal- cutesy kids? Or those called Cenobites who are happy joy the hell out of it. and unkempt looking, it's Boy, loween, so get those pens and nuns? there's nothing to spend their time dismembering downright horrifying. There's paper ready! scarier than a whole bunch of

you for the rest of eternity. See a - blood coming right out of the Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn Return of the Living Dead nuns, believe you me! Maybe the man ripped apart before your rent ceilings at you in this one, kids, - This may be the funniest horror Whatever you do, don't the scariest movie of all time. Bring a eyes by about 20 million fish- so wear old clothes while you're movie ever made, in a really sequel to this baby, because it's a barf bag for this one, kids! hooks! See a woman kiss a guy real stinker! This one, though, is watching it! stupid sort of way. There isn't Well, that it for who doesn't have any skin! - about does any plot to speak of, just lots of the second-funniest evil dead Alien and Aliens Still two Boyoboy, this is one of Floyd's this Halloween, kids. a fine gore effects and hilarious movie ever. Corpses run around classics, although the second Have favorites! scary one, dialogue. See, there's these evil yelling "Live brains!" and gener- alien is scary mostly because its and make sure you toss

- like first one on to back a few Halloween cocktails dead people (have you ever seen Slinky: Toy from Hell Hey, ally having a great time in the the steroids afterlife. This one even has a ter- make it bigger and faster. for the Count. That damned a movie with good dead people, kids, this one'll scare you right * Grimley runs a set, and kids?) who you have to dis- out of your pants, or whatever rifying rock soundtrack, and the Sigourney Weaver has never dry there's nothing scarier member to kill. Bruce Campbell you're wearing! Those evil best decapitation of an evil corpse looked better than in the first than that. Awoooo! Hahaha... gives the finest performance ever shapeless slinky toys are finally ever (with a Louisville Slugger, film, but there's also lots of Midnight Oil Burns Brightly In Toronto

By Jordan Lay flies around the stage, arms flail- cause he O.D.'s or goes solo, lier concert at the Masonic Despite this, Garrett still won ing; six-foot-six inches of bald- Midnight Oil came very close to Temple, the show on Sunday over the audience through his Maple Leaf Gardens is not the headed intensity. To take part in a losing Garrett to the Australian night was a bit of a disappoint- sheer frenzied passion. When this place to see Midnight Oil. The little U2 bashing, which seems to senate. Garrett ran for senate as a ment. Opened by the lukewarmly guy says he demanded that the Diesel and Dust to Big Mountain be a favourite pastime here at the Nuclear Disarmament Party rep- received Native Indian group, Molson Canadian banners be tour passed through Toronto last Cord, when Garrett engages the resentative in 1984. Kind of Graffiti Man, and Australian taken down from over the stage, Sunday to a crowd of about 5000. audiences with patter between refreshing to see a rock and roll Aboriginal band Yothu Yindi, the one is inclined to believe him. Lead singer Peter Garrett, songs, he is very articulate, very singer concerned with something concert lacked some of the pas- Garrett tempers his seriousness who bears a striking resemblance funny, and much appreciated. other than his hair or the girl in sion of the Masonic Temple date. over world troubles with a cyni- to the zombie from Scooby Doo, While most bands worry the fourth row. With the departure of Peter cal, half-sung humour, so the less has a gripping stage presence. He about losing their lead singer be- Compared to the band's ear- Gifford on bass, the band seemed socially conscious in the crowd slightly out of sync. At times, the can still get to sleep at night. bass drowned out the guitars of Jim Moginie and Martin Rotsey, While everyone who watches but it was still a great concert. MuchMusic knows that Midnight The crowd was rather strange. Oil is dedicated to Aboriginal (I've never been asked to sit rights and land claim settlements down at a concert before). They in Australia, the band has also be- did not deserve anything more come involved with North Amer- than the one encore they received. ican Indian struggles. The Oils The crowd was most familiar will be playing a special benefit with the Diesel and Dust material concert at Big Mountain, Ari- and was a little lethargic when zona, in support of the Hopi and faced with some of the older, Navajo Indians who are being stranger songs from previous al- pressured off of their mineral rich bums. reserve.

Errol Blackwood, seen above in mid-riff, played the Bombshelter last Thursday night and wowed the house with solid renditions of reggae originals and covers. Cord photo by Bonnar Beach The Cord Weekly 17 Thursday, October 27,1988

Football 5. Western Soccer 5. St. Mary's 6. ÜBC 6. LAURIER 1. St.Mary's 7. Guelph 1. Alberta 7. St. Francis Xavier 2. LAURIER 8. Saskatchewan SPORTS 2. Toronto 8. Laurentian 3. Calgary 9. Queen's 3. Western 9. McGill 4. Bishops 10. Ottawa 4. Sherbrooke 10. ÜBC

Football Hawks Oust Toronto — Host Guelph in Playoffs

By Scott Morgan season with 661 yards. The fifth punter lan MacKenzie year player broke Ken Evraire's mishandled a poor snap and was Joe Nastasiuk and Steve record of 609 yards set in 1987- tacklcd in the end zone but scored Rainey gave record breaking per- 88. Field goal kicker Steve three points on Rainey's field formances to lead the Wilfrid Rainey, also in his final year, goal in the second quarter to take Laurier football Golden Hawks to broke Jerry Gulges' mark of 37 a 17-5 halftime lead. a 38-5 victory over the University career field goals by one with a At 8:19 of the 3rd quarter, of Toronto Blues last Saturday at 15 yard kick in the second slotback Doug Reid got behind Seagram Stadium. The Hawks, quarter. his defender and caught a 12 yard ranked fourth in Canada, finished WLU gave a solid, consistent pass from QB Rod Philp for six the regular season with a 6-1 performance on offence against points. Cecchini, who led the record, which is good enough for the Blues, getting five TD's from OUAA in rushing before the second place behind Western, the four different performers. game, ran four yards up the mid- only team to beat the Hawks this Nastasiuk opened the Hawks' dle at 13:27 of the fourth quarter year. scoring in the first quarter with a to push the score to 31-5. Backup Wide receiver Joe Nastasiuk 30 yard reception at the goal line. quarterback MacKenzie posted caught 7 passes for 135 yards and Running back Andy Cecchini the Hawks' final score of the day one touchdown in his final regu- added another major score with when he kept the ball on a 13 lar season game for the purple 14 seconds left in the first quarter yard option play with 10:39 to and gold, and he set the WLU to give Laurier a 14-3 lead. The play in the game. The last two receiving yardage record for one Hawks gave up a safety when touchdowns were set up by Toronto fumbles on their own 6 and 32 yard lines. The Hawks totalled 336 net yards, 212 on the ground and 173 Cord Photos by Ross Smellie. in the air. Head Coach Rich New- brough was pleased with the per- over 100 points. minutes to hold on for the vic- formance as he commented, "It Newbrough was also enthused Gryphs powerful was the best offensive display about the special teams and tory. The have a we've had." singled out the kickoff coverage offence as they showed in their team as they stopped Toronto's 53-53 tie with Western last Defensively, Madden and Bill dangerous return men inside the weekends Newbrough suggests Veron Stiliadis led the from way Blues' 30 yard line on every kick- the game will be "a real, real their defensive line positions. challenge for our defence." off. "It was very good coverage Luc Madden, a 250 year veteran lb. third and I was proud of those guys." Gerritsen, WLU's veteran from Brampton, was in fullback, will likely start Saturday Toronto's backfield a lot. This weekend, Laurier will after missing the second half of Stiliadis added a fumble recovery host the Guelph Gryphons at 1:00 the U of T game with a sore and helped Madden create havoc p.m. at Seagram's Stadium in a shoulder. Neil Chin, however, is for the Blues' offence. The semi-final game. Toronto plays doubtful as he has a knee injury. defence held the Blues to just 5 Western in the other semi-final completions in 18 attempts and match. Laurier defeated Guelph Note: At all playoff games yielded only 140 total yards. The 27-20 in their only meeting ear- ALL fans must pay to attend. Hawks gave up just 81 points this lier this season. The Hawks Tickets are $3 for students with year, which was the best in the siopped Guelph inside WLU's ID and $4 for adults and are league. Every other team gave up five-yard line in the last two being sold in the A.C. Hawkey Hawks Grab First Victory The Best in Ontario Outlast Marauders in Goalfest OUAA Football All-Stars team. The result was a favourable one, as the second team, quarterback Rod By Brian Owen Special to the Cord Hawks earned their first win of the season, by a 7-4 Philp, guard Bill Bryer and slot- margin. back Doug Reid were selected. The Laurier Hawkey Hawks rough start to the The Ontario University 1988-89 season continued last Thursday evening, as This was a noticeably better performance for the Defensively, 1987 All- Hawks, as they outshot the Marauders 44-22. But Athletic Association released its Canadian end Veron Stiliadis : they travelled to York University to face the list of football all-stars this week, coach Gowing observed that this game was closer linebacker Jon Graffi, nose tackle defending CIAU champion Yeomen. The Yeomen with Laurier placing eight players held the Hawk pucksters under control most of the than he would have liked it to have been. The score Bill Madden and cornerback Dove were selected first game, trouncing them 5-2 in a relatively easy win. was tied at 4-4 going into the third period. Rohan halfback The traditionally strong York squad came out The feisty Mac squad repeatedly got the Hawks team all-stars. Defensive Geoff Belanger was named to the flying in the first period, putting three goals behind off their game, forcing them into taking stupid Hawk netminder Chris Luscombe. According to penalties by playing a rough and dirty style. How- second team for the second coach Wayne Gowing, the Hawks simply lacked in- ever, by the third period, the Hawks were wisely ig- straight year. Rainey tensity through the first 20 minutes. This carried on noring the Marauder tactics, and they iced the game Place kicker Steve was selected to the second team, through the next two periods as the Hawks were with a strong three goal outburst in the final period. by netting as never close to threatening York's early lead. Maurice and Puhalski led the attack well. The powerful York squad shut down the big two goals apiece, with Marc Lyons, Peter Hellstrom singles. line of Greg Puhalski, Mike Maurice and Dan and Pete Choma adding This Rintche, keeping them off the scoreboard. This match-up may be the game that will give of the of- seemed to take the steam out of the rest the Hawkey Hawks some confidence in themselves. to replace Lus- fence, as well. Gowing decided In the first few games of the season, the rink rats opened Brian Breckles combe with Rob Dopson after the Yeomen seemed to lack enthusiasm and intensity in their though, Leads 8 Hawk offensive players a 4-1 lead in the second period. This game, play, as they let opportunities slip away from them to the All-Star teams. was over after the first period. continually. At this point in the season, though, a both Rookie defenceman Pete Choma had talented squad such as the Hawks has no need to corps on the first team and four on the Laurier markers. Said Gowing on his young push panic button, as yet. the second squad. of players, "We're not as strong as in previous Chips: Pete Hellstrom had a good game against Ice On offence, wide receiver Joe years, and we're working to get a playoff spot. We Mac, centering Puhalski and Maurice for the first Nastasiuk led the way on the first have to execute better with more intensity." time this season.... The Hawks next home game team, with centre Brian Breckles, should be a good one, as they host the Toronto offensive tackle Mike Choma and Jon Graffi Blues. So let's get behind our boys and turn up at Laurier 7 McMaster 4 1987 OUAA Rookie of the Year Checks in with 3 other Bubble at 7:30.... Last night, the Battle of the Andy Cecchini rounding out defensive Hawk stars as Saturday Waterloo was renewed as the Hawks hosted arch- Laurier then travelled to Hamilton on Laurier's contributions. On the Ontario's best. to square off against a weaker McMaster Marauder rival Waterloo Warriors. The Cord Weekly 18Thursday, October 27, 1988 sports A Group of Gutsy Individuals Challenge the Waves Preparations for the Special Olympics

By Shelley Burns this process. He is the founder of improvement in the front crawl, Most of the volunteer coaches This year, a group of 20 the program, which has now been and most of them have mastered are Laurier or University of swimmers are out in full thrust, What is the first thing that operating successfully for ten the butterfly, as well. Waterloo students, who are there ready for a new season. The when you years. want to comes to mind think of Calder feels very fortunate because they help. This swimmers' ages range from 14 to The swimmers have not been year's the Athletic Complex? Is it the that the university makes the pool team of coaches includes 40 years. Most of them suffer exams or maybe the only participants to derive Gretchen Frenzel and squash courts, available free of charge for this Shelley from Downs Syndrome, although the jocks in the weightroom? program. He also provides a con- benefits from the sessions. Calder Burns, both students at Laurier. and his coaches have gained valu- once they are in the water, they What comes to my mind is what tagious enthusiasm that sets the They became involved because it able experience from the the AC, and its pool, has to offer tone for the rest of the volunteers. pro- was a field placement for their gram. The "The program a to the community of Waterloo. interaction between psychology courses, although the is lot of On Friday afternoons between There is a core of ten swim- volunteer coaches and the swim- experience and the fun that they fun, and we wouldn't miss been with pro- mers is fantastic, and the hours of 4:00 and 5:30, there mers who have the everyone are gaining makes this program it for the world." is a regular swim open to all. But, gram since its inception. These seems to come away with posi- seem more like recreation than swimmers have made impeccable tive results. work. there is something else that also have no handicap whatsoever. occurs within that space of time. Twenty mentally challenged indi- When a few of the swimmers viduals get together to practice were asked what they thought of their swimming techniques, speed the program, the responses were and stroke improvements. The all positive. "The program is a lot reason for this is that these of fun, and we wouldn't miss it Twenty mentally chal- for the world. Winning a ribbon at the Special Olympics is the people practice lenged best feeling in the world," said weekly to improve their one participant. swimming strokes. The program runs from Sep- athletes are training for the Spe- tember to May every Friday cial Olympics, showing that the afternoon. If you have any swim- Laurier pool is the home of ming abilities, and you are com- champions, no matter who you petent in the four basic strokes, are or what you do. then the organizers would be glad History professor Loren to see you out there to help. Calder is the mastermind behind Cord Photo by Shelley Burns. SoccerRam Ryerson,Roughie TieHawksinGryphons By Stephan Latour at the edge of the box, and strik- effort. "We seemed to be dragged In the eighth minute, a free kick merited that "the boys tried very ing a powerful shot into the net. down to the level of the other from the right from Ned Mandic hard." Fifteen minutes into the At first, the strong wind at Darren Thompson collected team and lost our composure." was deflected to Joe Formica, but second stanza, Mandic connected Centennial Stadium in Toronto Player of the Game honours as Nonetheless, the team put up he was stymied. Joseph's lightn- with Rob Horvath in front of the was blowing hard. But then the awarded by the Duke of Welling- a good effort. In the third minute, ing legs left him with the best net, yet his shot missed. For the Hawks came up with a storm of ton for his solid all-around game. a corner kick was placed in the Laurier chance in -the 25th most part, though, the Laurier of- their own, in defeating the host box among a sea of red and yel- minute, but his breakaway was fence stuttered in the second half. Ryerson Rams 4-1 on Saturday. Laurier 0 Guelph 0 low Gryphons, where Lyndon thwarted. Uwe Kraemer had to Upcoming Games: This Hooper's well-placed shot was make an equally nice save weekend, Laurier will be up for a Laurier 4 Ryerson 1 On Sunday, the Hawks were stopped. Frank Anagnostopoulos minutes later, yet he managed to true test of their abilities, as they up against ten defenders, a goalie displayed his ever present send both teams to the dressing face both Western and Windsor. The first 20 minutes went to and the man in black. The affair dribble-mania, as a number of room, deadlocked at zero. Kick offs are scheduled for 1 pm Mother Nature. The strong wind was rough and choppy. Coach quality opportunities were The second half was more in- on both Saturday and Sunday at bewildered both teams, and the Barry Lyon was frustrated by the coughed by the Gryphon defence. tense and soccer guru Lyon corn- Bechtel Park. Hawks had a difficult time set- tling into their game. However, in the 20th minute, the Hawks Basketball Hawks Stomple gathered their forces for the first marker. Fullback Tim Girling struck a long pass into the 18 All Over Visiting Rams yard box. The ball was cleared to the edge, where Lyndon "Ace" By Mary Anne deBoer Hooper announced his return, not with a fanfare, but with an in- The Ryerson Rams were taken by the horns, last week, as the credible half-volley shot which defensively strong 1988-89 Men's Basketball Hawks beat them 77-64 was placed in the uppermost in Laurier's exhibition opener. corner, completely out of reach of Although the competition was evenly-matched throughout the the Rams goalie. game, Laurier's outstanding defensive performance ensured the In the 41st minute, Girling Hawks victory over the Rams. sent another long pass into the The Laurier offensive onslaught was led by high scorers Paul box, where the lanky Lucky DeSantis and Tony Marcotuillio who contributed an impressive 24 Chhina made no mistake with a points each. Mike Alessio, another double-digit scorer, showed his brilliant header, to give the ability to free throw by not missing a shot, giving him an even 10 Hawks a 2-0 halftime lead. points on the evening. The wind kept howling, but Adding strength to the already powerful defensive line-up was the Hawks applied their forces Nino Miksic, a promising addition to this year's Laurier squad, who just two minutes into the half. displayed great determination by staying in control and contributing Rohan Joseph showed some seven points towards the final score. smart moves. His nice pass was "Nino played very well", said coach Coulthard, despite the fact carried down the wing by Frank that it was only Miksic's second game since winning the 1987 All Anagnostopoulos, where Joseph Ontario Championships as a starter for the St. Jeromes Lions. Miksic followed through, climaxing with spent the past year at Laurentian University where he chose to sit out a low shot into the far corner. in hopes of returning to his home town to play ball for the Golden Soon after, Laurier's defence Hawks. took a nap, back-peddling too "It's tough coming back after a year off, said Miksic "but with much, thereby allowing the Rams every game I play, I become more comfortable on the court". to take advantage for their only Coulthard lauded praise on the Hawk defensive performance. "In marker of the match. terms of our intensity, we are better now than at any time last year. However, the Hawk offence Even though Coulthard is optimistic in terms of this year's defensive was not done for the afternoon. ability, he adds, "our offense is a question unanswered right now". Substitute Mike Krauss The Hawks will be heading out to Calgary this weekend to take celebrated his first score in the on the University of Lethbridge Broncos on Saturday and the Calgary Laurier stripes, collecting a pass Dinosaurs on Sunday and Monday. Cord Photo by Tim Sullivan. The Cord Weekly sports 19 Thursday, October 27,1988 Lady Hawks Grab "A" Division Bronze in Gold Rush

By Jeff Dragich produced an overwhelming The loss to the Raiders rebounding edge. relegated the Hawks to the bronze Laurier's Lady Hawks Bas- Little led the squad with 22 medal game against Michigan's ketball team kicked off its 1988- points, and ten rebounds. Peel Highland Park Community Col- 89 season this past weekend by added 13 points, going six of lege. The opposition was loaded hosting the third annual WLU seven from the field, while Ryan with talented players, each with Gold Rush tournament. Created had an outstanding all-round good individual skills. However, mainly to gain experience and game, contributing 8 points, 9 they displayed very little under- evaluate player progress, the rebounds and 7 assists. The team standing of the team-play con- tournament featured an expanded Ann Weber shot 60% from the field, and out- cept. of eight teams. It also al- Highland Park managed to format The All-Star guard is one of the rebounded Carleton 46-16. stay close to Laurier throughout lowed the basketball program few players not returning to the the first half, trailing just 34-30 at some practice in preparing for the Lady Hawks this season. York Sr. Raiders 61 Laurier 55 championships the game's midpoint The Hawks, Sue Little I OWIAA that Dystra is expected to fill Renata though, fully exploited Laurier will be hosting in March. her shoes. The second-round opponent compared to Highland's 28, and lack of team play in Despite having practiced for league all-star for the Lady Hawks proved to be Highland's had 24 attempted free throws, as Despite having lost to prior to - the second half, holding them just three weeks the Ann Weber to graduation, coach a much tougher foe a team of opposed to Highland's 5. The tournament, enjoyed just 4 points in the first ten the Hawks a Jeffries feels the duo of veteran senior women from Toronto. margin of victory could have minutes. reasonably successful debut. The Dystra rookie Janice This experienced club took been even greater had the Hawks Renata and Coach Jeffries took this op- team unveiled its playing style, Field will be able to effectively Laurier by storm, in the opening been able to make more than 45 portunity to give everyone ample % and the squad appears to be well- fill her role, as well as adding minutes of the game. An aggres- of their free throws. to to victory. playing time. As a result, there tailored follow it height to the line-up. Both played sive, physical defence and pin- were no gaudy individual The Lady Hawks used an aggres- extremely well on the weekend. point passing saw the Raiders Tournament Notes: Laurentian statistics. Several team stats were sive, man-to-man defence, and Veterans Kris Peel, Catherine jump out to a 20-10 lead. University took home the win- quite impressive, though. The quick passing to kick their fast- Foulon, Ryan Sue However, the Hawks soon ad- ner's trophy this year. They Coleen and Hawks out-assisted break offence into high gear. Little also enjoyed strong tourna- justed to the rough style of play, Lady defeated York Sr. Raiders 56-47 Highland 20-4, took only 15 fouls Coach Gary Jeffries indicated ments, showing their desire to and fought back to only trail 34- in the final, coming back from a that this would be his approach lead the squad this season. 31 at halftime. They cut the 16-2 deficit early in the first this season. "We have ample deficit to one point twice in the half....Toronto defeated Western, ability, and with the depth and Laurier 94 Carleton 43 opening minutes of the second 50-47, in a nail-biter to claim the experience on this team, reaching half, but the Raiders pulled away consolation championship....Kris the national championships is a Laurier's first round op- again, aided partly by the sudden- Peel was named to the All- realistic goal," he added. ponents, Carleton, proved to be ly fatigued Hawks missing Tournament team. She was joined This year's squad is the most completely overmatched by the several baskets. by two Raiders, and one player experienced and deepest Hawks. Peel ran the fast break to Peel led the team with 14 each from Western and Highland talentwise that the coach has had perfection, as the Ladies scored points. The Raider defence, Park.... Tournament MVP was at Laurier. The club features a several uncontested lay-ups. though, held Laurier to a team Laurentian point guard Shirleen number of solid senior players, These easy baskets were genera- field goal percentage of just 37%. McLean....Little led the Hawks in but there are several rookies ted by a swarming Hawk defence tournament scoring, averaging vying for playing minutes. that intercepted errant passes, and Laurier 69 Highland Park 55 I Catherine Foulon 15.7 points per game.

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The Lady Hawk Soccer squad suffered only its third defeat of the season last Wednesday, as the OWIAA leading Western Mustangs outlasted the Hawks 1-0 in a defensive struggle. The lone Mustang marker was notched on a penalty kick that resulted from a questionable call from the referee. This kick resulted from an unintentional hand ball, which the officials will often not deem as serious enough for a penalty shot. In this case, though, the call was made, and in the words of veteran star Heather Purdy, "There's not much you can do against a good penalty kick." Offense was a problem for the Lady Hawks all afternoon. Their play was characterized by good individual play, but not great team play. Several potential offensive rushes were squelched by poor passes that were not as crisp as usual. The Laurier offence was also shut down by superb Mustang defence, which protected the slender lead throughout the second half. Next action for the Lady Hawks sees them host the Windsor Lan- cerettes in the season finale on Sunday at Bechtel Park. This game should decide whether the Hawks qualify for post-season play, as the The Lady Hawks have only given up two goals to the Western Mustangs in both their encounters top three teams from the division advance to the OWIAA finals at this season. Unfortunately for our squad, the 'Stangs have not allowed any. Here, Kathleen Doyle Queen's. attempts to break through a rather staunch Western backline. Cord Photo by Paul Tallon Lacrossers Lose Tight One Exams Knock Steam out oftennis Team By Paul Tonin By Shelley Burns matches resulted in losses. The poor weather conditions were definitely a factor against the Hawks, as well as some organiza- Once again the Wilfrid Laurier Lacrosse Club just fell short, It seems that it is not only the students who are tional problems on the part of Windsor. The courts losing 16-14against Brock University in an exciting match. complaining about Saturday exams. Dennis Huss, were not fully available to the varsity teams due to Laurier Tennis team also Despite the loss, the impressive effort illustrated the ever- the coach, finds them conflicts with other club teams that were practicing. bothersome, increasing potential of the Club. Chris Kerho, as has become habitual, as they interfered with his ability to It seems that the only thing the team came home in led the Laurier attack with five goals. Joao Francisco and Steve field a full team the past two tournaments. This with was a bad cold. was one of the major factors Graper added four and three goals respectively. Gord Chalk and Mark in Laurier's inability to record a the encounter in Huss has a hopeful outlook for his team, and Cochrane both chipped in with single goals. Kevin Parchment was win in weekend Wind- sor. feels that this team is becoming stronger each year. equally impressive, winning 85% of the draws. Kelly Hazel received recognition for being the most After closing out the regular season at home against Western on Again, the team did their best with Monica improved player this season. The coach also ex- October 30, the Club will travel to York on November 4-5, to partici- Heindrick almost pulling off a win against her plained that "the team made a really fine effort, but pate in the playoff tournament. Guelph opponent. Other than that, all of the Hawk they continue to be victims of circumstance."

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33 University Ave.,Waterloo, Ontario COMING MONDAY OCT. 31 30 Ontario St., S., Kitchener 741-8325 WLU FILM CLUB BASH r******************************** BEST PRICES WE DELIVER sports The Cord Weekly 21 Thursday, October 27,1988 Results: OUAA Football October 19 Western I.LAURIERO Team GP W L T F A Pu Guelph 1, Waterloo 0 Western 7 6 0 1 258 103 H Western 4, Brock 1 LAURIER 7 6 1 0 170 81 12 SCOREBOARD Octobcr 22 Guelph 7 4 1 2 206 135 10 Waterloo 2, Windsor 1 Toronto 7 3 3 1 110 132 7 McMaster 0, Guelph 0 Windsor 7 3 4 0 119 122 6 October 23 McMaster 7 3 4 0 1 27 157 6 Windsor 6, Brock 3 Yorit 7 1 6 0 65 192 2 Western 3, Waterloo 0 Waterloo 7 0 7 0 54 187 0 OUAA Soccer OUAA Hockey Central Upcoming Games: Results: Windsor at LAURIER (Sunday 1 pm) Team GP W L T F A Team Pt£ October 22 GP W L T F A Pts 3 2 0 1 17 13 5 LAURIER Western 12 10 1 33 7 21 38, Toronto 5 1 Waterloo 4 2 1 1 16 14 5 McMaster Yoik LAURIER 12 8 2 2 29 8 18 14, 10 Western 3 1 0 2 14 13 4 Intramural Hockey Division I Windsor 15 Windsor 23, Waterloo 11 12 7 4 1 26 14 2 1 0 1 10 7 3 4 4 Guelph Western 53, Guelph 53 McMaster 12 4 13 12 12 LAURIER 4 1 2 1 15 16 3 Team GP W L T F A Pis Guelph 4 15 12 4 4 12 12 Toronto 2 0 2 0 9 12 0 Decapatators 1 1 0 0 21 3 2 Upcoming Games: Waterloo 12 2 6 4 8 23 8 Strangers 1 1 0 0 9 3 2 Brock Guelph at LAURIER (Saturday 1 pm) 12 3 8 1 11 21 7 Pleasure Pack 1 1 0 0 4 0 2 Ryerson 12 1 10 1 10 42 3 Results: Toronto at Western October 20 Peanuts 1 10 0 10 2 Yoik 5, 2 Little House 10 10 0 10 Results: LAURIER October 21 Pil Dogs 1 0 1 0 0 4 0 OUAA Rugby October 19 7, Toronto 6 Mohicans 1 0 1 0 3 9 0 Western 4, Windsor Queen's 1 Waterloo 3, Brock 2 Brick-Red Barons 1 0 1 0 3 21 0 Team GP Pis October 22 W L T F A October 22 Waterloo 7 7 0 0 110 18 LAURIER 4, Ryerson 1 14 Guelph 7, Queen's 4 Results: McMaster LAURIER 7 4 3 0 91 70 8 Guelph 1, 0 LAURIER 7, McMaster 4 Peanuts 1,Little House 0 Trent Western 3, Brock 0 7 4 3 0 78 70 8 October 23 Strangers 9, Mohicans 3 Brock 3 4 0 60 84 6 Windsor Waterloo 0 7 2, Western 2, Waterloo 2 Decapatators 21, Brick-Red Barons 3 October 23 Toronto 7 2 5 0 70 74 4 Upcoming Gaines: Pleasure Pack 4, Pil Dogs 0 RMC 7 1 6 0 32 125 2 Brock 2, Windsor 1 Western at LAURIER (Saturday 1 pm) Upcoming Games: LAURIER 0, Guelph 0 pm) October 22 Windsor at LAURIER (Sunday 1 pm) Toronto at LAURIER (Oct 29,7 Results: McMaster 2, Ryerson 0 2,7:30) Brock 7, Trent 6 (November 1) Guelph at LAURIER (Nov Western 6, OUAA Semi-finals Intramural Hockey II October 19 LAURIER 18.RMC6 Waterloo 0 Division Waterloo LAURIER 3 6, Waterloo 17, Toronto 0 Team GP W L T F A Pis Soccer The Lonely Guys 1 1 0 0 9 1 2 OWIAA Vertical Smiles 1 1 0 0 6 1 2 Creasers 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 T F A Pts Team GP W L Biff 0000000 9 0 23 5 20 Western 11 2 Mad Hackers 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 10 6 10 14 McMaster 2 2 21 Brew Crew 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 LAURIER 10 6 3 1 17 5 13 Snappers 10 10 16 0 Guelph 10 4 4 2 9 13 10 Molson Whalers 10 10 19 0 All offering 11 6 1 6 17 9 we're Waterloo 4 Windsor 10 1 8 112 23 3 Results: Brock 10 1 8 112 27 3 The Lonely Guys 9, Molson Whalers 1 is the vrorld. Vertical Smiles 6, Snappers 1

You're about to receive your degree - you're probably feeling proud of yourself. We're proud of you, too. But when you come back to earth consider this. Touche Ross has been around the world. Worked around the world. Gainedrespect around the world. And established offices around the world. In fact, Touche Ross Canada, as a founding member of Touche Ross International, has provided the opportunity for interna- tional experience and travel to most partners and staff. Many have taken advantage of these opportunities and all we get for updates are postcards and pictures. If you're looking for a place in the sun, contact the Touche Ross office of your choice. Make it a Halloween party you won't forget! We have all you need for disguise: makeup, wigs and warts. Costume sales only. Hours Regular 9:30 to 5:30 i Extended Oct. 21-26 Huether Hotel King Street

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FACULTY OF A vnm/ m YORK ENVIRONMENTAL WI!N,vtRSITY STUDIES The FACULTY OF ENVIRONMENTAL STUDIES offers those interested in pursuing the Master in Environmental Studies degree a unique opportunity to design interdisciplinary, individualized, and flexible programs within a broad spectrum of natural, built, social, and organizational environment perspectives, including:

• urban planning • environmental politics • social policy and economics

• resource management • Native/Canadian relations

• organizational • environmental education environments • regional planning and • biological conservation development • environmental thought • tropical environments • international development • impact assessment • women and environments • environment and • human services and health behaviour • environmental policy, • quality of working life planning and design • action research • northern studies • housing • communication, advocacy • cooperative management and social change • recreation Contact: Coordinator of External Liaison Faculty of Environmental Studies York University 4700 Keele Street North York, Ontario M3JIP3 Tel. (416) 736-5252 The Cord Weekly ■ sports 22Thursday, October 27,1988 Runners Invade Quizzically Hawks of the Week Bechtel Park Speaking By Serge Grenier

Waterloo's Bechtel Park was Joe Nastasiuk (Football) By Dave Agnew awash with cross country runners Saturday Wide receiver last as WLU hosted the 1. Name this season's new addition to the Ontario Hockey League. Joe Nastasiuk had annual Laurier 7 receptions for 135 yards and Invitational Cross 2. Who is the coach of the Houston Oilers? Country meet. Running one touchdown in Saturday's win The 3. The Columbia Lions recently snapped a Division I record 44 game placed against Hawks a respectable sixth losing streak. Who did they beat, and by what score? Toronto. Joe leads WLU in receivers in the meet, tied with Sheridan 4. Who scored the first goal of this NHL season? number of touch- College. downs (17) and is the all-time 5. Name the oldest player currently in the NFL. leading receiver (117 receptions 6. Opel Hershiser was the 1988 World Series MVP winner. Frank for 2275 yards) in WLU history. Veteran Adam Wellstead was Viola and Bret Saberhagen also accomplished the feat in the 1980's. the top ranked Laurier runner in Before them, you must go back to 1968 to find an MVP pitcher. the competition with a 29th place Name him. finish. He was followed by 7. The Philadelphia Flyers traded Doug Crossman to the L.A. Kings Roland Maechler, who finished for another defenceman. Who? 44th, and Brian Keast, Kris Peel (Basketball) who 8. Canada's national soccer team was recently eliminated from World placed a close 48th. Cup qualifying by which country? Veteran point guard Kris Peel led The remaining WLU 9. Who is heavy weight champ Mike Tyson's next scheduled op- participants hung close together, the Lady Hawks to a third place ponent? with Andrew Gordon, finish in last weekend's Gold Wayne 10. Name the tallest player ever to be on an NBA roster. Riley Cory Rush Invitational. Kris collected and Lipovsched triple teaming to take the 62th, 63rd 34 points in 3 games and was and 64th places. other Hawk named to the tournament all-star The runner, Jeff Tomlin, not team. was far from the pack as he ended in 67th position. Hawks "Scrum" ble to Victory Riley, a four-year veteran of Strock Don Cleveland's 5. the squad, confided that he did Marois Daniel rookie Toronto 4. Bell George Clipper L.A. 10. By Raoul Treadway RMC in convincing fashion Princeton, with not run his best race on Saturday, 16-13 3. Bruno Frank 9. an 18-6 lambasting. Rob Jerry wishing to save himself for the Glanville 2. Guatemala 8. The Rugby scoring ons- Niagara Laurier Hawks Velestruck led the OUAA finals this Saturday in Thunder Falls 1. Wells Jay 7. out regular sea- laught with two tries. finished the 1988 Chris Ross Guelph. Lolich Mickey Detroit's 6. son on a winning note, with both and lan Allison each chipped in Answers the Varsity and Club squads with a try apiece, while Allison chalking convert. up victories in their final also tallied a Laurier 3,6 Waterloo 6,3 6-3 to the undefeated Warriors, These matches marked the two matches of the year, against RMC played the perfect host while the Club side salvaged a 6- end of the Laurier rugby season, Waterloo last Wednesday and on this blustery afternoon, as they These rare Wednesday 3 win. as only the first place team in RMC on Saturday. also enabled the Hawk Club afternoon contests were held as In the Varsity match-up, squad to come home with a point, the result of the regularly sched- Laurier's lone tally came on a Division II proceeds to the Laurier 18,6 RMC 6,6 on the basis of a 6-6 tie. Laurier uled Saturday contest being post- penalty goal by kicker lan Al- OUAA playoffs. This year, scorers included Scott Allenby poned. The Hawk squads were lison. The Club side's scoring Waterloo is representing the Divi- In Kingston, the Varsity with a try, and a convert by Eric able to split their matches on the was notched on a Mike Sanchez sion against the top three teams Hawks ousted the Cadets from Clarke. day, with the Varsity team losing try, and a convert by Clarke. from Division I. I MONITOR COMPANY A Strategy Consulting Firm

"> CONSULTANT Positions Available for Highly Qualified Wilfrid Laurier University Undergraduates

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We work with our clients to help formulate and implement business unit and corporate strategies, employing the latest techniques and conceptual frameworks in the area of strategy and competitive advantage.

We will be holding an information session at Wilfrid Laurier University on Wed., Nov. 2, 10:00-11:30 am, Paul Martin Centre and interviews on Mon., Nov. 28. For more information, please ask for our Job and Company Description at the Career Centre.

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Toronto , Ontario, MSS 2X9 323-3727 The Cord Weekly classifieds - 23 Thursday, October 27, 1988 PERSONALS CHUCK says, Drama HELP WANTED SERVICES MAN w/small cubc van FIND out more about OP- ERATION OUTREACH —7— Club Hallowe'en Party is CACT „^,iroto „,;n available weeknights, Sat- The Molson Olympics a G0! This ' YP and volunteering at the Friday even! WANTED: Semen donors U urdays for moving-$25/hr. type th eses ' November 19th. Start S ee yonder club board for for artificial insemination K-W area. Gary at 746- VOLUNTEER FAIR, Nov twelve ounce train- resumes etc. Calln LynT at your details and map. programme in the area. 716Q 1-3 in the concourse. mg now.. ' Donors musL be healthy Some participating organi- ELVIS is a heterosexual UPCOMING EVENTS DAVE: You can be my and responsible. Prefer- ACCURATE word pro- zations include. Canadian rS n!° S° S riS ' guardian angel any ' ence given to married can- Menta Health, Luther- , u | cessing, letters, resumes, COUNSELLING Services w!l n nw • wood, Cancer Society, and time...Who'da Thunk it? didates. Kindly contact reports, etc. Reasonable programmes: Nov.l Writ- Community IS a bell necessary on a HAPPY 19th Birthday Dr. N. Assad, 715 Corona- rates. Call evenings, Karin ing Workshop, Weight global Judy. Love, Steve. li° n Blvd..Cambridge, 884-4989. bicycle? Still seeking Management Group; td ttcmh •, . , NIR7RI xt A fx, ~, , TALK IO US!!!! LOOKING for a voice on diameters .inquiries call S U ENTS neede d 10 $L2O ext 2338 for J f „ Beuy'Boobsf S-»_J Z- — - - mc eting on 1. KRISTI W. I'm watching call 696-2506, Paul. n HpH PamHa- e Nov. Con- rr rail' Pamela - LcouPT t V? ARE you distressed by a , MEPH I S T O aphfr guaranteed. Don't x PHOTOPR rP Sol884-6913Jm-T possible pregnancy? L_l_J (Hungary/W.Germany, hesitate-contact Angela re

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« J tests practical models „ discussion with Director nancy and Trivia: Last time s answer, pcc vc rpci , m c P J • re;sumes help. Call 579-3990. "The Monster". This enclose a recent photo and Istvan Szabo Wlll follow MONTREAL Road Trip: week's thought inspiring P the 7pm screening. This is STRUGGLING with years experience. Good p"'cl"'f e 1ues "0". what famous m- 'he ,rs 1 sen " of va'flab 1 '"'see homosexuality? We are „ J Islin„ rates. Close to University. [ , Ma O6' mis- J g Szabo s films WLUSUWLUiU triostnP s Dooinbooth Inin having a sunnort eroun ventor was Barney A iai.aam Irom r»u • for ton.Ont. M9B 4A5. concourse Tuesday and those in conflict taken for, and what did he Hungary to be shown with their WEEKEND Counsellors Wednesday for details. homosexuality For more invent? WORD Processing: Fast, Nov. Thurs. evenings, UW needed to work with de- information contact: 416- Waterbuffaloes: T-shirts accurate and letter quality. East Campus Hall, FIND out the secrets of velopmentally delayed in- theses, 1 921-6557 or 884-1970 now in for only $5. Ask an Resumes, essays, rm.l 219 (885- 12 1 obtaining a loan for your dividuals in area #9940 executive member! All group business reports, etc. Free ext.3709). new business. See Bob - homes Experience H2oBuffaloes should go pickup and delivery. Call CAREER Services offers Oswald of the Royal Bank spots preferred but will train t0 Turrct for pre _footbaii Diane: 576-1284. oodles of valuable work- and Peter Skinner of the ts who failed to or meet $6.53/ hr. Work every 2nd bash in front of .... -. . shops and information ses- Ontario Gov't. Mon. get a parking spot on weekend. Leave message WORnWORD Processing.Prn in FEs- V Scagram Stadium at >> 5:30-7pm, rm.s- y° Se « says, term papers, resumes - 12:45. Guelph Waterbuf- tor Dot BS4-6012 or • 205. WLU Entrepreneurs to WLU andH would!a r°.like 886-5201 and other work accurately S' J to ftloes are challenging us alter 2pm. —-—— —

, ; . .... rent your parking . to . , lot, call , , , done your specifica- to a cheer,ng contest and marketing try, interview sktlls and Keith at 884-4673. GAIN valuable uons. Quality guaranteed! face Painting before will be full of cactus juice. many more! See Career experience while earning . 746 8578 . football game, Laurier vs. D. It you thought the dress Wear your hats! a Make money and free trips. Services for the nitty- Guelph Saturday Oct 29 looked good on...then you Be WORD Processing by ex- banner! wild! Conform Campus representative gritty. at the Tarret ii-3(M2-30 should see it off!!! xo to the norm! ecutive secretary for all needed immediately for TONIGHT! Thurs. Oct. Licensed L L BO! Jules- Spring Break trips to Flor- your typing needs Done ACCOMODATIONS 2 1,1-9 pm. The Music Sponsored by Student SPLUNKERS- great trip! Souj.h e Is " Therapy Students' As- Alumni Association. _ L "wnRnPFRPPPT" " Pad^ Looking forward to hear- resents J°n' SINGLE rooms available sonable rales. Call Debbie P FOR SALE co lccf InWVmT* Milgram-Luterman to mg some road trip stones for non-smoking females 886-4837 from Clarkson, New York. Jan-April 89. Whole house ON-CAMPUS travel rep- speak about "Music EXCELLENT IBM com- B.C. students (5). $62-65/week, resentative or organization WORD Processing: Fast, Therapy in Geriatric patible XT computer! Like Care". General meeting -pewnp ; includes furnished needed to promote Spring accurate, will pickup and new 640K memoryj 2 iKbVUK irom112 the turret bed- livi m Break trip to Florida. Earn deliver on campus. Will and refreshments to fol- 72 0 K drives. r< n kitchen yOU & low. Admission is free to , j: utilities. Laundry money, free trips, and val- make spelling and minor Parllel/serial/game ports. my ' facilities. 1 block from uable work experience. grammer corrections members; $1 non- Major business software members. See BETA class....halfway to campus on Ezra Ave. Call Inter-Campus Pro- (English Grad). Call you in the included. $1195 or 8.0. the hurdle, keep it up! 885-3965. grams at 1-800-433-7707. Suzanne at 886-3857. Seminary lounge. 746-7571.

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Warning: Health and Welfare Canada advises that danger to health increases with amount smoked - avoid inhaling. The Cord Weekly 24 Thursday, October 27, 1988

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