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“A Principal Thing” By: Adrianna Gober Blackboard Writing: Hairy “A Principal Thing” By: Adrianna Gober Blackboard Writing: Hairy Pothead and the Sorcerer’s Bong is not an actual story. Couch gag: OFF pol vaults onto the couch. Scene shows Bart in class in Springfield Elementary. Mrs. Krabappel: Now, class, you all know how we’ve been learning about marine life, so now, Principal Skinner has asked me to show you this movie. The Class groans really loudly Bart (thinking): Hmmm....another stupid boring “educational film”. (slyly) I know just what to do at a time like this... Bart get’s up, stands on the top of his desk (at this time Mrs. Krabappel has turned to look at Bart, ready for whatever he has planned) pulls down his pants, and moons the class and Mrs. Krabappel. Krabappel (unsurprised): Well, Bart, you obviously know what a stunt like that will get you. Bart (mock reluctant): Oh, ok Mrs.K...If I have to.....(walks out of class room)...heheheheh. Works like a charm. Bart walks to Principal Skinner’s office, and is somewhat surprised to see that The whole gang, Jimbo, Dolph, Kearney, and Nelson were sitting in separate chairs, outside Skinner’s office. Bart (surprised): Huh? What are all of *you* guys doing here? Nelson: I was caught taggin’ the side of Willy’s shack. Shows Willy staring angrily at the side of his shack, that appears to be full of graffiti Jimbo: And someone snitched on me and Dolph giving some kids wedgies. Kearney: And I was staying out of trouble too long, and the teachers got suspicious, so I ended up here. Skinner walks out of his office, sees Bart, and doesn’t seem too surprised to see him. Skinner (expectantly): Well, well, well, Bart Simpson. I was waiting for you to come. Bart’s smile turns into a puzzled look Skinner: Just come inside, and I’ll explain it to you in there. Skinner leads Bart into his office Skinner: (to Bart): Please, have a seat. Bart sits down in a chair facing skinner’s desk Skinner: Well, Bart, the reason I was expecting you was...that....(skinner lowers his head down in disappointment) There’s been a lot of misbehaving lately between you and the usual other trouble makers. Almost every day one of them has been sent to my office. And it’s getting more frequent, I just don’t know what to do. I’m having a meeting with Superintendent Chalmers tomorrow, so maybe I can figure something out then...but....I don’t know, I just don’t know...... Bart (trying to help): Well, If it makes the situation better, I only mooned the class to get out of watching this boring movie on marine life. Skinner: The one I asked Mrs. Krabappel to show you? Bart (hesitant): Well, yeah, but Seymour, you gotta admit—it’s probably as boring as hell. Skinner: Watch your language Simpson. Bart Rolls his eyes. Skinner: Bart, You can leave now. But since it *would* be suspicious if you go back to class without a punishment, you’ll serve detention with me tomorrow. Oh, yes, on your way out, tell the others they can leave too. Bart: Sure thing, Seymour. Bart leaves the office, and is seen talking to Jimbo, Dolph, Kearney, and Nelson. They get up and leave along with Bart. Scene cuts to the Simpsons’ house. They are at the dinner table, eating dinner. Marge (shocked and angry): BART! I cant believe you mooned the class, just to get out of watching a movie! Bart (calm): Mom, calm down. Principal Skinner was ok with it. He only gave me a *detention* so it wouldn’t look suspicious when I go back to class without a “punishment” Lisa (confused): I find that hard to believe. Skinner never seemed like the kind of man to do that. Homer (trying to make a point): What are you guys all confused over? It’s obvious that Skinner is so old, he can’t think right anymore. And *that’s* why he was gonna let Bart go. Bart starts to crack up Homer: What? It’s just logic. Lisa (not surprised at homer’s unintelligence): No, dad, It’s not logic. It will never *be* logic. Homer (lowers head, sadly): Oh......... Scene cuts to Springfield Elementary the next afternoon. We see that school has ended for the weekend, and the kids are being let out. Bart is waiting in Skinner’s office for his detention. Skinner walks in the door. Skinner: Oh good Bart, you came. Now, for your detention, you’ll write a two-page essay of why mooning your class is disruptive. As for me I’ve got to- (Chalmers storms in the room)- Uh, Superintendent Chalmers, I was, uh, expecting you. Chalmers (agitated) SKIIIIIIIINER! What in God’s name is Bart Simpson doing in your office? Skinner: Oh, umm..well, sir, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Chalmers (puzzled): You wanted to talk to me about Bart Simpson sitting in your classroom? Skinner: No, sir, I wanted to talk to you about the recent outbreak of misbehavior around here. Bart is just an example, he is serving detention with me today, as a punishment. Bart, could you take your paper and finish it outside, while Superintendent discuss an important matter? Bart: Yeah, sure, whatever. Bart leaves the office, but instead on writing his essay, he presses his ear against the door to listen. Chalmers: Skinner, you better figure out something to do about these hoodlums. Reinforcing school laws, getting another person in command. I don’t care, as long as you stop all of these shinanagins from happening again! Skinner:(confident): Superintendent Chalmers, you just gave me a brilliant idea! Skinner flings open his office door, and rushes into the teacher’s lounge, without noticing that he knocked down Bart in the process. Chalmers (to Bart): Honestly, sometimes I think that man is out of his mind. Bart: That makes two of us. After a short while, Chalmers leaves. Chalmers: (as he’s leaving): Oh, and Bart, tell Seymour that his little “idea” better be good, and it better *work*. Bart: Can do Superintendent Chalmers. Shortly after Chalmers leaves, Skinner comes strolling out off the teachers lounge, carrying a small stack of paper. Skinner (happily): Bart, can you do me a favor? Take these papers and put them up all over town. (Before Bart could answer): thank you *so* much. Oh, and just for that, you don’t have to write that essay. Skinner walks away Bart (making a victory motion): Yessss! Scene cuts to the next morning. Bart is getting out of bed. Bart (yawning): Yes! Saturday morning! Finally. (Bart looks over and sees the pile of papers he’s supposed to deliver for Skinner) Oh, man...... Bart quickly gets dressed, grabs the pile of papers, and runs downstairs. Marge (sees Bart): Good morning, Bart. What do you want for breakfast? Bart (in a rush) No time for breakfast mom, I need to do something for principal Skinner. Lisa (is already dressed, and almost finished with breakfast) (anxious): Oh, I gotta see this. Bart takes off out of the front door. Lisa follows. Bart: Ok, Lisa, Skinner asked me to take these papers, and put them up all over town. You can help. Lisa: Sure, why not. (Reads the paper at the top of the pile from Bart’s hands.) It’s helping a good cause. Bart (suspicious): And how do *you* know? Lisa: You haven’t read the papers yet? Bart: No.......(reads paper. It says: Springfield Elementary is looking for an assistant principal. If you are interested, come see Principal Seymour Skinner at Springfield Elementary, This Saturday, the 19t , 1:00pm sharp. Thank You. Bart: So that’s what his idea was. Lisa (puzzled): Am I missing out on something? Bart: I was listening in on Skinner and Chalmers’ conversation the other day. Skinner said he had an idea of how to stop all of these “misbehaving kids” lately. I guess this is his idea. Lisa: I think this is a good idea. We’ll get to meet someone new. Bart: Tch, yeah, whatever. Let’s just get this over with. Bart and Lisa split up and after and hour and a half they finish their mission, and meet back at their house. Lisa (exhausted): Phew, I’m tired, I think I’m going to go rest in my room. Bart (exhausted): Yeah, good idea Lis. They both go up to their rooms and fall asleep. The next week went by fast, and now it’s the Saturday Skinner hires a new assistant principal. Skinner: (sitting at desk looking at clock): Sigh, it’s nearly two o’ clock, and yet no one has shown up yet. If I don’t get someone to give the job to, Superintendent Chalmers is going to kill me...... Just then, I young guy walks into the room, looking wiped out. He had blonde matted hair, and wore a red Hawaiian shirt, and denim shorts. Guy(out of breath) Uh, sorry I’m late. I had to run all the way over here. My car was stolen a few days ago, so- Skinner:-I’m sorry, but I think you have the wrong place. Here let me help yo- Guy: -Oh, sorry, I forgot. The name’s Ross Wilson. I saw your add for a new assistant principal the other day, so I decided to come here and give it a shot. Skinner (worried): Y..you’re not coming here to ask for the Assistant Principal job, are you? Ross: (slightly confused): Uh, yeah...I think I am.
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