Montana Kaimin, November 30, 2012 Students of the Niu Versity of Montana, Missoula

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* end of the world

Volume CXV Issue 49 Friday, November 30, 2012 UM’s Independent Campus Newspaper Since 1898 @KaiminNews Montana Kaimin 2 OPINION Friday, November 30, 2012

SCIENCE COLUMN EDITORIAL CARTOON THE HUME’N EXPERIENCE Question everything By Alice Martin

“To know the history of science is to recognize the mortality of any claim to know universal truth,” Evelyn Fox Keller said. This semester I invested significant time into trying to convince the four of you still reading this column that science is a worthwhile endeavor, not only on a personal but also on a public scale. From wolves to evolution, climate change and bighorn sheep, I earnestly tried to explicate the reasons why the contro- versies arising from science often come from those unacquaint- ed with science instead of internally. But the last thought I want to leave you with is not an apolo- getic one. I will not try to convince you to think scientifically about one issue or another. Instead, I ask you to contemplate whatever beliefs you hold. It does not matter their source — personal experience, religious teachings, scientific inquiry or even the study material for your finals in a few weeks. For example, I strongly believe it is physiologically impossible for me to survive my chemistry final without an excess-cortisol (stress hormone) induced heart attack. Yet, as with all human notions, there is the possibility I am completely wrong. I may survive my final to live through another semester and live to be a healthy old bird. I doubt it, but it’s possible. The problem with any person — whether they are U a scientist, politician, judge or pastor — claiming they possess the perfect truth is they are all human. Humans are prone to P BACK error and idiocy, blind spots and flawed vision when it comes to understanding the world. This is not surprising, considering S HANDS we are living organisms. Living things, as any biologist will tell BIG you, are extremely messy systems. I don’t advocate you dump all your beliefs and trade them in Big ups to all our loving Big ups to the immortal jel- Big ups to global warming. for new ones, even for scientific viewpoints. Instead, I point out families and the great friends lyfish. Your tiny, hydroid spe- Damn, it feels nice to wear T- it is statistically likely (based on history) that at some point in we’ve made over the years. cies could help us cure degen- shirts in the winter with bling our lives, some fact currently stated with absolute certainty, will We’ll totally miss you. But we’ll erative diseases. But let’s try bouncing around and not be completely reversed. There used to be nine planets: now there also totally kill your zombie to avoid any Benjamin Button freezing to your chest hair. are eight. Germany and Japan were our deepest enemies: now forms too. scenarios, mmk? Boosh. they’re allies. Before Einstein, physicists assumed they had all the mysteries of the universe figured out. Instead, we now have Backhands to all this end- Backhands to the fiscal cliff. Backhands to another se- whole new problems. of-the-world crap. Obviously, It’s like that Tracy Chapman mester. Can’t we just work My last thought: Whatever you end up doing, whether it be it’s just a scheme to get us to song ending really horribly: through the darker months and science or art, politics or law, always keep in mind you are not buy more guns, gear and grave- “Drive so fast, felt like I was have a longer summer? ‘Snot perfect. You will not always be right. The important thing is to stones. Plus, the rumor is if the drunk…” And then, you know, like there will be snow-heavy reject complacency at every turn. The journey we take toward Mayan calendar included leap they went off a cliff. Way to go, activities in the future anyway a more complete knowledge or more just society is far more years we would be 18-months Congress. (see above). Whatever. See you important than the end result. Billions of people have lived on dead already. in January, losers. this planet, and we remember only a tiny fraction of them. Their lives mattered, not because of what they left behind, but how Cover photo by Samuel Wilson they lived when they were alive. [email protected] We’ve got news for you. Please send any news tips, ideas GOT NEWS? and press releases to [email protected].

montanakaimin The Montana Kaimin, in its 115th Newsroom Phone 406-243-4310 year, is published by the students of Business Phone 406-243-6541 the University of Montana, Missoula. The UM School of Journalism uses Editor Photo Editor Reporters Photographers Video Reporters Copy Chief the Montana Kaimin for practice Billie Loewen Tim Goessman Austin Green Thom Bridge Tommy Martino Alyssa Small courses but assumes no control Business Manager Design Editor Heather Jurva Meghan Nolt Hunter D’Antuono Copy Editors Curtis Black Carli Krueger Ashley Nerbovig Abigail Redfern Brinna Boettger over policy or content. Columnists News Editors Multimedia Editor Jessica Roden Stacy Thacker Cassidy Belus Jackson Bolstad The Montana Kaimin is printed on Taylor W. Anderson Samuel Wilson Candace Rojo Taylor Romack Missy Lacock Allison Bye campus by Printing and Graphics. Emily Downing Web Editor Hanah Redman Designers Alice Martin Missy Lacock Sam Lungren Jack Stannard Sports Reporters Jess Neary Blake Reynolds Ricky Sanchez Send letters to the editor to Arts+Culture Editor Arts+Culture Reporters Dustin Askim Alyssa Small Cartoonist [email protected]. Brooks Johnson Christopher Allen Andy Bixler Caitlyn Walsh Callan Berry Editorials are discussed and written Sports Editor Eben Keller Austin Schempp Ricky Sanchez Riley Pavelich Alexandria Valdez by Kaimin editors. Erik C. Anderson Montana Kaimin Friday, November 30, 2012 NEWS 3 Electronic music brings ‘club drug’ controversy Cassidy Belus Lt. Scott Brodie said police the specialize used of club drugs, tronic dance music, like, stupidly Ben said. “Personally, I think that Montana Kaimin are looking for club drugs like Brodie speculates there is less of enough,” he said. used in moderation, when you’re MDMA, ketamine and ecstasy at a demand for them. While he ex- When Ben first tried molly very careful with its usage, I think Through Curry’s Self Over parties. There were a few busts at pects to see these drugs become in the fall at age 19, it wasn’t at a it’s a fantastic drug and a fantastic Substance program, Mike Frost, Disco Bloodbath’s Halloween bash more common as the population concert or rave. He’d been dealing experience for anyone, really.” the interim director of Counseling in October, most notably the arrest increases, Brodie said it’s average with depression since his early Not knowing the substance is and Psychological Services, has of football player Trevor Poole, but for a college town. teen years and heard that MDMA one of the biggest dangers with heard more about LSD (acid) with- Brodie said that’s not out of the “As the population of Missoula could help. He said while the $15 club drugs, said Sherrill Brown, in the last two years, as well as an ordinary for such an event. Most grows, we see more and more of pill was a good experience, he no an associate professor at the Uni- increased use of MDMA (molly). busts for club drugs are at parties (club drugs), but it’s still not near longer uses molly. versity of Montana’s pharmacy SOS sees 500 to 700 students a or specialized events. the problem that the regular illicit “I’m pretty happy right now so, school. With a drug like ecstasy year. While the majority of those “We do encounter (club drugs) drugs are,” Brodie said. “It’s not like, I don’t have any desire to use that’s cut with another substance students aren’t talking about club from time to time, but it’s not with something everyone uses every- it again,” he said. “Even if I was in such as heroine, Brown said the drugs, he said they are more fre- the frequency that we encounter day, typically. Some people prob- such low spirits as to merit another risks are increased. If mixed with quently brought up because of an the regular illicit drugs,” he said. ably do.” use, I would still consider as many alcohol, the effects of the drug increase in raves and electronic Illicit drugs like cocaine, meth For “Ben,” an economics major, other alternatives as I could.” are stronger, which adds another music events throughout the state. and heroine are more commonly experimenting with molly grew Ben acknowledged drugs can problem, she said. “They use pot, they do halluci- found in Missoula and are a larger out of two curiosities: His interest be dangerous, but he said that like “There’s really no way to tell, if nogens and they drink,” he said. problem, Brodie said. MDMA is a in the scene and molly as a form of alcohol, drugs can also be used re- someone just hands you a capsule, “Those have kind of been a top derivative of methamphetamine treatment. sponsibly. what’s in it anyway,” she said. three. But different things go out and therefore has similar effects. “I just kind of got interested “I believe people are free to do of fashion.” Brodie said. Because of this, and in rave drugs because of elec- what they will with their bodies,” See CLUB DRUG, page 4 Montana Kaimin 4 NEWS Friday, November 30, 2012

CLUB DRUG From page 3

“So, that’s always a problem. You don’t really know what the person is selling you or handing you at the party.” The appeal of taking these drugs for specialized events, Brown said, is because of their energizing effects. MDMA also enhances perception and causes hallucinations and blurred vision. With serious use, it can cause liver and kidney problems or result in seizures and comas. Ketamine and LSD have similar effects. Jeff, a 20-year-old journalism major, describes the sensation as a paradox. “You’re content with everything in life,” he said. “It’s kind of a mix of an adrenaline rush with the calming mental sensation of doing yoga.” His experimentation with molly began in the music scene, but he has occasionally taken drugs outside of raves and parties. Jeff cut back last year after dropping acid for a week. He said seeing one of his friends go home because of a drug-induced psychosis put his Tommy Martino/Montana Kaimin life in perspective. Though Jeff still Wolfgang Gartner plays a show at the Wilma Theatre on Oct. 18. Concerts and raves are common places where people are introduced to club enjoys using molly, he primarily drugs such as acid (LSD), molly (MDMA) and ecstasy. takes club drugs only at raves, parties or music festivals. concerts and parties, she’s noticed tronic music isn’t unique. that kind of stuff,” Heitman said. production, and it’s more about Nineteen-year-old UM student more students using them recre- “I think a lot of the drug culture “We just wanted to strive to push the experience than anything.” Alex, one of Jeff’s friends, first ex- ationally this year. comes from music in general,” he boundaries and play popular UK Heitman would prefer if people perimented with acid a few days Growing up, Alex was against said. “I don’t think it necessarily music.” attended sober so they could really after her 18th birthday during a drugs. That changed after being has to do with electronic music. He and his fellow friends and take in the scene and the music. State Radio concert. She’s since emancipated from her Mormon But what’s happening in more re- performers wanted to create more [email protected] used other drugs such as molly, household before turning 17. Alex cent years, I think, is the younger of a scene in Missoula. Disco mushrooms and opiates. moved from Whitefish to Polson generation of kids — especially in Bloodbath started in 2010. Heitman One reason she uses acid, Alex and began spending more time a place like Montana where their said they only expected a couple said, is to help her face her prob- in Missoula. She said she likes us- isn’t a lot of exposure to outside hundred people, but instead 1,500 lems. Though Alex would like to ing club drugs at music events be- culture other than what’s popu- showed before midnight. The next eventually do that sober, it helps cause it heightens her senses. lar at the time — they go to these year, 3,500 tickets sold before 1 for now. She does plan on quitting “There’s a lot of energy and events and that’s their first expo- a.m. Once again, 3,500 partygoers when she’s older. there’s a lot of love for the mu- sure to any kind substance, and so attended in October. “I’ve noticed even in the past sic, and so drugs like molly, or that’s probably why there is such a Though some people may see year anytime I do take drugs now, MDMA, primarily those drugs stigma.” music festivals and parties as an I take a lot more time to recover bring that out a lot,” Alex said. When Heitman moved from opportunity to get high, Heitman from it afterwards, just because “They’re very emotional, and Minneapolis to Missoula in 2006, said, his goal is to showcase music. I’m so physically and mentally they’re very high-energy. It inte- he said the electronic music scene “I don’t think these events are exhausted,” she said. “I know I’ll grates into the art of it.” was more of a small niche. Nation- specifically about doing drugs and simmer down in a little while, but One of the creators of Disco ally, he said, the scene wasn’t very seeing what you can find and what it’s fun while I’m young.” Bloodbath, DJ Tim Heitman, said large when he moved to Montana. you can do,” he said. “It’s always While Alex has primarily seen the drug stigma attached to elec- “Nobody was really playing about the music, always about the the use of club drugs at raves, Montana Kaimin Friday, November 30, 2012 SPORTS 5 COLUMN Are YOU fan enough? Dustin Askim not here for winter break, what this one in accounting. Montana Kaimin can you do? Jordan Gregory, who’s av- Stay involved. Sign up for eraging 7.3 points per game, The raucous roar from more game scores and alerts on the has a pet guinea pig named than 7,000 fans crammed into ESPN or CBS mobile app. This Guinea. Dahlberg Arena last March helps you know what’s go- Connections make basket- for the Big Sky Championship ing on with your fellow stu- ball meaningful. Different signaled the possibility of a dents in the Zoo. Gogriz.com people from different back- birth — or rather rebirth — streams live stats and Mick grounds learn to play as one of Zootown’s love affair with Holien’s silky smooth play- tight-knit unit. The Griz will Grizzly basketball. by-play calls. Some games play nine games over win- Montana finished 15-1 last are broadcast on television as ter break. The most notable, a season in Big Sky Conference well, and Wednesday’s loss game against the Bobcats Jan. games and sits at 3-2 overall against BYU in Salt Lake City 19, the Saturday before class- this season. was available nationally. es resume. Free “Beat State” Most notably, the green Furthermore, knowing a shirts and a barbeque take Grizzlies sealed close wins few players’ names or having place before tip-off. What bet- against Idaho and San Diego a conversation with any stu- ter way to celebrate your re- last week. Sophomore forward dent-athlete can spark a more turn to campus? Kevin Henderson nailed a genuine interest. Athletes be- A road game against 5-1 3-pointer with less than three come people, not just players. Sacramento State may be the seconds left to defeat San Di- When you’re able to put a face toughest game over the next ego 67-66 at the ’Berg. Jordan to a player, you make a con- month, because the Hornets’ Gregory and Keron DeShields, nection. Or if you know just lone loss came against Big Sky both sophomores, have seen a sliver of the person’s story, football member school UC- extended playing time in or- the actual gameplay becomes Davis. Home games against der to fill the void left by the much more appealing. Eastern Washington and Port- injured Will Cherry. For example: DeShields,’ land State also highlight the After Wednesday’s 85-60 and he grew up in a rough area home conference docket. UM loss to NCAA powerhouse of Baltimore. He takes several fought off the Eagles last sea- BYU, Montana plays against hundred shots a day outside son in the quarterfinals of the San Francisco on Friday. A big of practice — and it’s shown Big Sky tourney, while runner- chunk of the season’s games from last season compared to up Weber State narrowly es- Abby Redfern/Montana Kaimin are scheduled during winter this season: He’s averaging 9.2 caped the Vikings’ grasp in the Keron DeShields (20) of the Grizzlies rises above Isiah Gandy (2) for a dunk break. For most students, the points per game. other quarterfinal game. Both against Minot State University Beavers Nov. 14 in the Dahlberg Arena. The extended vacation time usu- There’s forward Mathias teams return several starters, Griz won 82-53. ally includes awkward visits Ward, the bearded beast, who’s but each has only mustered with high school friends and already earned a bachelor’s one win apiece this season. sleeping for days. This has and a master’s degree because So tune in. been an obstacle in the past for he earned 60 college credits [email protected] keeping UM students connect- in high school. This year he’s ed with the team. But if you’re finishing up a second master’s,

www.MONTANAKAIMIN.com Montana Kaimin 6 SPORTS Friday, November 30, 2012

BASKETBALL Lady Griz take first victory in Holiday Classic Alexandria Valdez tie Baker said. “We don’t come points and had five rebounds. Montana struggled shoot- Freshman Christina Salvatore Montana Kaimin out strong enough as we should Though the starting five for ing in the first half. The team added four 3-pointers in the in the first. But second, you the Lady Griz struggled, the shot only 34.2 percent to Idaho’s second half, with two of them Ornaments hung in the Ad- know, it was vital that we came bench boosted the team. Kellie 43.5 percent. However, the Lady coming in the closing seconds ams Center entrance, Santa was out on top, and I think we did Cole came in first and assisted Griz took a seven-point lead from about 30 feet out. sitting in Dahlberg Arena, and that really good.” Maggie Rickman on a jumper. into halftime. “They’re scary because the Lady Griz beat the Uni- Montana got the ball from the Fifty-three seconds later, Cole As Montana pulled away they’re going to take some versity of Idaho Vandals 76-65 opening tip but Alyssa Smith scored her first points of the in the second half, some play- 3-pointers,” coach Selvig said. Thursday evening during the had a foul and Baker missed her game with a shot from beyond ers shined. Baker, who had “You want to have a lead, but 32nd Lady Griz Holiday Classic. first two shots within the first the arc, tying the game up for five shots in the first half, end- look at the end.(Christina Salva- After a moderate and action minute and a half of play. the second time at 15-15. ed with 15 points and six re- tore) just bangs two 30-footers. packed first half — where the For the Vandals, the first half “I think we really have a bounds. Redshirt sophomore The games aren’t over until you Lady Griz led 36-29 — Montana of the game was strongest. Their team mentality when we’re all Carly Selvig had a good night can score in a hurry.” came out powerful after half- first nine points came from in together,” Cole said. “I think on offense, adding eight points Friday, the Lady Griz Classic time. 3-pointers by three different since we come off the bench, we and three assists. continues with the Lady Griz “(Head coach Robin Selvig) players. Freshman guard Con- hustle as much as we can be- The saving grace for the Van- taking a break as Idaho takes on got on us in the halftime a lit- nie Ballestero had 11 points, two cause we know that obviously dals was their ability to nail 3s. Tennessee State. The Lady Griz tle bit just on sloppiness that offensive rebounds and went 3 playing time isn’t guaranteed, In the second half, Idaho shot 50 plays Tennessee State Saturday we shouldn’t be doing and we for 4 from 3-point range. Alys- so that’s more of an initiative, percent from deep and finished at 7 p.m. in Dahlberg Arena to haven’t been doing,” senior Ka- sa Charlston chipped in eight too.” at 48.3 percent for the game. conclude the tournament. [email protected]

BASKETBALL What you’ll miss over winter break: Women’s basketball Austin Schempp the schedule change shouldn’t several key players. Game to watch: Jan. 19 Matchup to watch: Katie Montana Kaimin have a big effect on the team. “Everybody kind of looks for Montana State at Montana. Baker v.s. Rachel Semanksy. “Everybody’s in the same us because we’ve won the league Sure, the teams are archene- The two seniors were in the Call it an early Christmas gift. boat,” he said, noting the 32nd so many times,” he said. “I’d be mies. But beyond the surface ten- Top 10 in scoring in the Big Sky This year, the University of annual Lady Griz Classic is still surprised if any (team) jumps out sion, this game should be inter- Conference last year, and after Montana women’s basketball being held. “It’s just different. and gets away from everybody.” esting since the Lady Griz swept the graduation of Montana State’s team will begin Big Sky Confer- That’s all.” In conference play last season, Montana State in conference play Katie Bussey, Semansky is sure ence play earlier than previous Over winter break, the Lady Montana finished fifth in the during the regular season but fell to be the go-to for the Bobcats. seasons. Griz will play 11 games, six of conference at 9-7 and qualified to the Bobcats in the conference Baker led Montana in scoring As a result of the conference them at home in Dahlberg Arena. for the Big Sky Conference tour- tournament, ending Montana’s last season and pushed past the expansion, Montana will host the All of the games will be against nament, but they fell to Montana season. 1,000-point mark for her career. Northern Arizona Lumberjacks conference opponents, which State 68-59, ending their season. [email protected] Dec. 20 to kick off the longer con- will determine the team’s post- Senior forward Katie Baker was ference schedule. The addition of season conference tournament third in the conference in scoring more conference games means fate. at 16 points per game and was teams will have fewer non-con- Selvig said this year’s confer- named First Team All-Big Sky ference opponents. ence should be very competitive Conference. Head coach Robin Selvig said because top-tier teams return Montana Kaimin Friday, November 30, 2012 7

Samuel Wilson/Montana Kaimin It’s the end of the world as we know it...and it’s not just because some of us are graduating. As every sentient American is probably aware, the Mayan calendar ends The five-year plan in a Dec. 21, 2012. Because the Mayan were pretty darn well-informed (the only fully developed written lan- guage of the pre-Columbian Ameri- cas, advanced urban planning, as- tronomical charts superior to any post*apocalyptic other culture observing the night sky without telescopes, etc.), their 5,000-year-old calendar is only not seem implausible. threats. People stocked duct one day off every four years. Most In the film, British animal tape and plastic in case of ter- likely, you fall into one of two cat- rights activists break into a pri- rorist acts. I first watched the egories: You’re either scoffing at mate test facility in Cambridge movie in 2008, but the effects the idea of an ancient civilization and try to free chimpanzees of this constant terror mindset predicting the apocalypse or you’re being tested for medical re- were still strong. I was in the world search. The animals, infected sixth grade when the terror- planning an end-of-the-world rager. If zombies do decide to show up with “rage,” bite an activist, ist attacks happened, so really, (or the global economy falls apart, Billie Loewen a standup lamp in the corner of infecting her, too, and sets off I hadn’t had enough life in a the Earth’s poles shift, or some other * Montana Kaimin the living room. Where did all a chain reaction that quickly world without the global threat act of terribleness sends us spiral- All at once, it seemed, I re- this crap come from, and why spreads the virus throughout of terror to know differently. ing into a scene from “28 Days Lat- alized the strangeness of our didn’t I think our rogue weap- most of the world in 28 days. My whole life, I’d heard from er”) don’t be the guy who wakes up house: a carved wooden spear ons were weird while we were The protagonist, Jim, wakes the news that violence, global on the 22nd unprepared. This will in the coat closet; a piece of building them? up in a hospital in London af- hysteria and fallout were not be our last issue of the Kaimin for spray-painted driftwood with I always loved the cheesy ter a coma. He finds London only possible, but plausible. So the fall semester. We are bunkering razor blades Gorilla Glued to predictability and imagina- empty, abandoned, and wan- perhaps that is why “28 Days down and praying we live to see the the end leaning against a book- tion of horror movies. Nothing ders through iconic shots with Later” was so frightening. spring. Hold on to this issue. When shelf; a hatchet tucked behind a turns a hangover around better Big Ben and ships floating in Eventually, in the Lon- finals are over, we know you are go- stairwell post; a metal pipe with than $30 of Chinese delivery the harbor as he calls aimlessly don Underground, Jim meets ing to wish you kept your copy. a railroad tie fixed to the end and a movie where everyone for help. Handbills and tourist Selena, the sexy, no-bullshit with rope under the bed and a gets dismembered. The first knick-knacks litter the streets, survivalist who tells him the Love, military lockbox full of ammo time I watched “28 Days Later,” and a few stray cars and one incurable virus knocked out The Montana Kaimin clips for our .40 mm handgun. though, my reaction was dif- tipped-over, double-decker red most of the human population, Oh, and the .22 leaned behind ferent. The entire plot was too bus remain the only sign of ca- perhaps globally. realistic. The zombies were too tastrophe. “It started as rioting,” Selena fast. They didn’t rise from the Much of the movie was explains to Jim, “But right from dead; they were infected by a filmed pre-9/11, but by its re- the beginning you knew this human-made virus. Following lease in 2002, the United States was different. Because it was the real-life scares of bird flu was at the height of state-led happening in small villages, and mad cow disease, this did propaganda about unnamed See PLAN, page 16

ART FAIR Nov. 29-30 & Dec. 1 Thur & Fri 9AM - 6PM Sat 10AM - 4PM UC Atrium Free & open to the public

FOR INFORMATION OR TO REQUEST AN ACCESSIBILITY ACCOMMODATION CALL 243-5754 WWW.UMT.EDU/UC Montana Kaimin 8 Friday, November 30, 2012 Weapons at the ready Missoula’s Zombie Tools arms citizens for the apocalypse

Cassidy Belus see all of your enemies turned into theme of their business after set- * Montana Kaimin Happy Meals. ting up a zombie Halloween pro- Heavy bass and guitar music Zombie Tools partners Chris duction in 2007 at the Badlander. compete with the sound of ma- Lombardi, Maxon McCarter and What started as a sword-interest chinery. Swords cover the walls in Joey Arbour didn’t originally start crew evolved into Zombie Tools both the shop and lounge. A bottle in the business of apocalypse after a slightly inebriated conver- of Canadian Mist from a New York weaponry. McCarter and Arbour sation between McCarter and Ar- fan sits on a poker table next to met at Flippers Casino 12 years ago. bour about the best blades to kill some chips and a sketch of a blade. After discovering they both shared zombies. Arbour showed up the It’s time to face facts: The apoca- an interest in blades, the two start- next day with a sketch. lypse is upon us — specifically, ed sword fighting — sometimes in While the first few years were rough, they’re now shipping blades worldwide, making approximately They are cause for a lot of 75 blades every three weeks. With 200 blades to complete, there’s 12 interesting coversations, and weeks of back orders. The clientele calling upon Zom- bie Tools is a mix, from those who just want some decor to people in- they’ve become a focus for terested in the sport of sword fighting, Lombardi said. Some buyers have used their blades while camp- lot of anxieties ing and others for their survival a kits — apocalypse or not. The men don’t exactly buy into in our culture these days. the undead, but admit that the concept is fascinating. Chris Lombardi “They are cause for a lot of interesting conversations, and they’ve become a focus for a lot of anxieties a zombie apocalypse. There are the alleyway behind Bernice’s Bak- in our culture these days,” Lom- two ways to deal with Earth’s im- ery. Lombardi came on board after bardi said. “People feel vulnerable minent destruction. You can snivel meeting them while working on a in a lot of ways. Maybe they can’t in a corner as zombies tear you story about the group in 2005. articulate it this way, but everyone Abby Redfern/Montana Kaimin apart and eat your innards or you “We put a beer and a sword in gets the sense that we’re all so de- Zombie Tools displays some of their weapons available for purchase in their shop on Wyoming St. can go out fighting. The owners of his hand and couldn’t get rid of pendent now upon this huge ma- Zombie Tools have chosen Option him,” said Arbour. chine for our survival, and no one B, and with them on your team, Trying to find a way to sell really understands it. heads around the scope of it, but is what Arbour is hoping for) or a you may survive long enough to blades, they came up with the “No one can really get their things could happen where that zombie apocalypse, the crew of machines break down and we’re Zombie Tools will be in their shop especially helpless because we’re crafting swords to fight the back- sort of losing the capabilities to order. take care of ourselves, abilities to For those searching for some raise food, to hunt food, to make weaponry, get on their good side. anything.” Fight valiantly, UM. Whether it’s a solar flare (which [email protected]

Abby Redfern/Montana Kaimin ABOVE: Zombie Tools is a 5-year-old speciality knife and weaponry business. Partner Chris Lombardi says business continues to grow, and has 250 knives backordered. LEFT: Rob Schtein, an employee at Zombie Tools, checks his Vakra blade for imperfections. A Vakra blade was used by Nepalese mercenaries, and Schtein says its one of their more popular swords. Montana Kaimin Friday, November 30, 2012 9 Off campus Weapons at the ready Costco TOP Nothing says survival like copious amounts of food. Costco was practically built as a fortress, with its industrial, concrete walls and minimal access points. Pros: Candy for days and fancy weapons, like riding lawnmowers. 1 Cons: You may end up going to hell for gluttony. Axmen South The Founding Fathers probably knew it would come to this when they wrote the 2nd Amendment. Ax- men South will help you use your rights. With guns, ammo and its remote location, it’s practically heaven. Pros: You’ll never run out of supplies or power. Or 2 beer-making supplies. Cons: The store has everything but mass quantities of food. Missoula Airport If you’re looking for a place with a little of everything, the airport may be your go-to. Plenty of food options, space to run around and maybe weapons confiscated by the TSA. Places to survive Pros: Even zombies can’t get through airport security the zombie apocalypse 3 quickly. 5 Cons: You don’t really know how to pilot an airplane. * Candace Rojo know enough to actually survive Montana Kaimin a zombie apocalypse, but with Missoula County Detention Facility Columbus (from “Zom- my vast knowledge acquired from “Zombieland,” I decided to inves- Great big buildings with high security designed to keep prisoners in: What isn’t there to bieland”) taught me three things: like about a prison? You’ll have guns, food, protection and hot men in uniforms. Cardio, the double-tap and al- tigate the top places to survive the apocalypse. Pros: If you have to go out, at least you’ll go out in style ways wear a seat belt. If this zom- Cons: Mom did always say you were going to end up in a jail cell. bie thing is real and my survival is So pack some resources, and 4 determined by how fast I can run, let’s find the best places to survive In Plain Sight I’m pretty much going to die. hell. [email protected] If all else fails, pull a Bill Murray and hide in plain sight. Put on your worst outfit, rip it It’s safe to say I clearly don’t up a bit, add massive amounts of make-up and you’d make a perfect zombie. Pros: Leading a “normal” life. Photos by Stacy Thacker/Montana Kaimin 5Cons: Covering yourself in zombie guts. Yum. On campus

The M Trail Rule number one is cardio. Pack your rifle and sprint to the top of the M to gain an acute vantage point. Pros: All the slowpoke fatties will keep the ravenous zombies busy. 1 Cons: Your trigger finger may freeze off. The Skybox in Washington-Grizzly Stadium Nothing says safety like height and power. Climb up to the Skybox for a secure location with food nearby. Pros: You know you always wanted to be up there, and maybe there is a secret stash of alcohol. 2 Cons: Constant reminders of the Grizzlies’ losing season. University Hall Clock Tower There’s something about an old building, so why not put your faith in the oldest building on campus? Go to the highest point of the tallest tower for safety. Pros: Steep steps may cause a massive game of zombie dominos. 3 Cons: You don’t know how to play the clock organ. The Mansfield Library Knowledge is power, and knowledge comes from books, right? Barricade yourself in the library and unlock the knowledge of the world. Mom always said reading would save you. Pros: There’s only one way in and endless areas to explore and hide, if you’re the running type of survivor. 4 Cons: Well, zombies do like brains … Jesse Hall: Top Floor One can only assume the dorm has this many floors for this exact reason. Take a ride to the top for an awesome view of Missoula (and a kitchen). Pros: Plenty of materials to build a pillow fort. 5Cons: Even zombies can be jerks; expect the fire alarm to go off in the middle of the night. Montana Kaimin 10 Friday, November 30, 2012 Surviving the Economy Jessica Roden unstable oil prices, society is Hypothetically, an econom- them, Kellenberg said. China, specialize in development eco- * Montana Kaimin facing challenges the Mayans- ic apocalypse could happen which is typically viewed as nomics and environment eco- never anticipated. many ways. It could resemble following a socialist economic nomics,” Kellenberg said. “In According to the Mayan cal- Derek Kellenberg, chair of market failure, which Kellen- model, is actually the same as terms of what we teach, we endar, the end of the world is the University of Montana eco- berg said is typically defined as America but with a larger de- want to be able to expose stu- near. That would explain why a nomics department, said the excessive power by one group, gree of government control. dents to a wide range of eco- man in China used his life sav- recent recession is an example like a monopoly, or excessive Prices are still determined by nomic ideas.” ings to build his own Noah’s of the fragility of the economic pollution as a byproduct of the market. UM does offer a class on ark, according to a Chinese system. production. He said he didn’t think it’s comparative economic systems newspaper this week. It’s also “Some would argue we At UM, and at many colleges bad UM doesn’t teach other and another on history of eco- why people are taking online avoided (an economic apoca- in America, capitalist economic economic models because nomic thought. “How to survive the zombie lypse) at the end of 2008,” Kel- models are the predominant there hasn’t been a big demand Brandon Simpson, a sopho- apocalypse” courses. Don’t be- lenberg said. “If all the banks focus. This refers to the eco- for it. Some schools, such as the more majoring in economics at lieve it? Google it. were allowed to fail, it could nomic system where a market University of Massachusetts UM, said there is an element of However, after the last five have been a lot worse. Would determines prices, rather than teach heterodox economics, popular culture that is strange- years, it could be argued an it have been the end of the eco- the government. which focuses on schools of ly fascinated with the idea of a economic apocalypse is the real nomic system? No. It would Though some academics ar- thought outside of mainstream zombie apocalypse, though he threat. Between the European have deepened the recession, gue against capitalist economic economics. doesn’t buy into it. debt crisis, the recession and though.” models, most countries follow “Here at UM, we tend to See next page.

Ashley Nerbovig what to look for when you’re scav- * Montana Kaimin enging. There are multiple sources If you are stuck in a zombie apoc- of food you can scavenge around alypse and you haven’t been able to Montana, including strawberries, Zombie Gourmet snag one of the few people fluent in raspberries and sunflower seeds. plant lore for your team, here is some However, some plants can be both information that can help you decide edible and medicinal. Bearberry (Kinnikinnick) Description: Thick, small, oval green leaves with red, bean-shaped berries. Properties: The Bearberry is the Swiss Army Knife of medicinal plants. Not only are the berries good to eat cooked or uncooked, but the leaves have medical properties. They can be used as a sedative, help with diabetes when someone runs out of insulin and serve as an astringent. If you’ve got a bad cut, crush these berries into a good solid paste and use it to spread on the cut. It’ll speed up the healing process, which will help prevent infection.

Wild Licorice Description: Long, green stalks with skinny, green leaves and yellow flowers that look like feather dusters. Properties: Wild licorice is another all-purpose plant. It can be eaten raw or cooked. When you roast the roots, they will taste like sweet potato. The roots contain a chemical known as glycyrrhizin, which is 50 times sweeter than sugar. Medically, it’s your best bet to use the roots, though the entire plant is medicinal. If you’ve managed to wrangle up a pregnant lady (as most zombie expeditions seem to), get her to drink a wild licorice tea during childbirth. It will speed delivery. It is also helpful for fevers, toothaches, and if all this plant eatin’ is giving you the runs, eat a few of the leaves to help treat it.

Starwort Description: Green leaves, round with a point at the tip. Purple flowers similar to a daisy, but smaller. Properties: The best part about these flowers is you can find them year-round if the winter isn’t too bad. These ones are extremely nutritious, especially the leaves, and when cooked are very similar to spinach. Medicinally, these leaves are going to be more useful externally then internally. For any itching ailment, starwort is able to soothe the area. The whole plant can be used to help wounds heal faster.

White Sweet-Clover Description: Invasive in Montana. Light green stems, trifoliate leaves and floppy white flowers. Properties: Be sure to use them fresh, because dried clover leaves are toxic. Use them more as a seasoning for any bean soup or wild salad you are preparing. The flowers can also be used as a substitute for vanilla, for when you get a hankering for something sweet. The best part of this plant is its anti-coagulant agent, perfect if you need to do a quick surgery after you get on the wrong side of one of those motorcycle bands roaming Montana. Make sure your patient eats plenty to prevent clots forming and traveling to their heart.

Common Mallow Description: Pink/white flowers on single stems. Properties: Keep your eyes peeled for this one because it’s highly nutritious. It makes a great lettuce substitute for salads, and the roots are often boiled and used as a substitute for egg whites. Add the sweet clover and you’ve got yourself a very sad dessert, but by the time you start scavenging, you’ll probably get it into your head it is real food. This plant, when made into a compound, can be used to help with broken bones, though, and it also has astringent properties. Illustrations by Callan Berry [email protected] Montana Kaimin Friday, November 30, 2012 11

nomic, nuclear or ecological tant now,” she said. “Though, I coming economically based. Market failure means society Continued from previous page apocalypse would happen be- think people don’t think it’s as “So much of politics and is worse off, but it doesn’t mean fore a zombie apocalypse, or important. I think we get more policy now is economics, so it’s that the system is a failure, Kel- “There’s been so many any other kind of apocalypse wrapped up in our own eco- important for people to be in- lenberg said. Teaching about doomsayers throughout the represented in popular culture. nomic status than we do in the formed,” he said. the predominant economic sys- ages that have predicted the UM mathematics student country’s economic status.” Capitalist economic models tem of the world is important, end of the world and they’ve Mariah Smith, who doesn’t Now more than ever it is im- are not perfect though. Like he said. not turned out to be right,” believe the Mayan apocalypse portant that the younger gener- all economic models, there are “It provides a good baseline Simpson said. “There’s nothing will happen, said she thinks ation is economically educated, flaws. These flaws have be- for comparing the strengths of to make me believe this is any economics play an increasingly Kellenberg said. Not only for come apparent in recent years capitalism and the weaknesses, different.” significant role in society. voting purposes but because and have resulted in a degree also,” he said. He said he thinks an eco- “I think it’s way more impor- jobs across the board are be- of market failure. [email protected] The Zombie Warrior ROTC training students for all forms of combat

Austin Green “Oh, it’s just a 12-gauge ther, knows how to weld, is * Montana Kaimin shotgun,” he said casually, as used to extreme conditions if every college student packs after fighting fires in the sum- Ryan Belger flashes yet an- a pump-action death-machine mer and has hunted through- other sly smile as he tries his in his or her bedroom closet. out his life, so he knows some damnedest to sound humble. If zombies ever do infest wilderness survival skills. It’s not easy, as the 21-year- Missoula, Belger’s got some Hell, he’s even hashed out a old is slowly realizing, that despite his slender 5-foot-10, 155-pound frame, he’s inad- Then I would try to go to vertently becoming the ultimate zombie-wrecking war- Walmart or Costco or rior. Belger is one of 50 Reserve Officers’ Training Corps stu- something like that. You could dents enrolled at the Univer- sity of Montana, meaning he’s just board up all the entrances, up at 5 a.m. every weekday to run or lift weights. Once a week, he’s doing “battle and they have a bunch of drills” in the woods, learning how to fend off ambushes or carry out reconnaissance mis- canned and dried food. sions. Ryan Belger And, every once in a while, he’ll head to Fort Harrison in Helena, where he pumps rounds from the army-stan- powerful options. solid plan already. dard M16 semi-automatic “As far as zombies go, the “I would try to get away rifle into torso silhouettes. shotgun’s pretty good,” Bel- from the campus first off, The targets — some of which ger said. “I mean, that’s what because it’s a lot of people are as far as 400 meters away everyone uses in the movies, in a small area,” Belger said. — appear for three seconds right? But the problem is that “And then I would try to go to it’s heavy, and the shells are Walmart or Costco or some- at a time, and Belger usually Meghan Nolt/Montana Kaimin mows down 30 out of 40 with- pretty heavy, too, so you can’t thing like that. You could just Ryan Berger poses with his .22-caliber rifle in his apartment Wednes- out the aid of a scope. carry as many. So if I was board up all the entrances, and day evening. Berger is an ROTC student and grew up hunting. He said He’s also a magician at re- trying to survive the zombie they have a bunch of canned he would choose to carry this gun in the event of a zombie apocalypse because of its light weight and relatively inexpensive ammunition. loading his gun, replacing apocalypse, I’d go with the .22 and dried food. I think they the M16’s 30-round magazine because it’s light and ammo have ammunition too, so you in about seven seconds. Es- for it is really cheap.” got that. So food, bottled wa- In addition to his profi- ter, and they have generators sentially, he could run out of soula County doing the exact vasion of the living undead, ammo, reload and unleash ciency with firearms, Belger for a while to keep some of the brings plenty of other things food fresh, like the produce. If same thing,” Thomas said. nobody is perfectly suited a full clip into zombie Usain “So you’d be away from cam- for the end of the world. The Bolt’s bloodthirsty corpse be- to the zombie-survival table. that wasn’t an option, I’d just “I’m definitely an above- get on the roof.” pus, but you still have to deal pale-skinned Belger donned a fore it sprinted 100 meters. with all the people who are sheepish grin as he unveiled Even without the army’s average runner, so I could However, Belger’s fellow go and get supplies,” Belger ROTC student Ben Thomas going to those big stores.” his potentially-fatal weakness. M16, Belger’s arsenal is im- Thomas said he’d prefer to “For me, I’d have to worry pressive. He keeps three fire- said. “And I’m a pretty calm finished in the top three of person, so I wouldn’t be mak- UM’s recent Zombie Tag game raid the Food Zoo, although about all the sun exposure,” arms in his Missoula home, he did admit that Belger Belger said. “I’d probably have including a black .30-06 hunting rash decisions. I’m pretty and found some flaws in Bel- smart, pretty logical, and I ger’s idea. would likely survive longer to carry an umbrella or some- ing rifle and the ultra-efficient than him in the event of a thing, which might slow me .22-caliber rifle, both of which care about the well-being of “It’s a decent plan, aside the group.” from the fact that you’re fight- zombie apocalypse. down.” are sitting on his living room [email protected] Belger also learned some ing literally 80 to 90 percent of Of course, as well-equipped floor. as Belger is to survive the in- The other gun? carpentry skills from his fa- the entire population of Mis- Montana Kaimin 12 Friday, November 30, 2012 How to convert Zombie Basics your pee to water Best clothes to wear Cheap non-perishable Foods STEP ONE Dig a large hole NOODLES STEP TWO place a clean Walmart-brand Ramen Canned Tuna Canned Corn Cost: 8 cents per pack Cost: $1.50 per can Cost: $9.24 per 12-pack Jacket bowl in hole Purpose: To keep you warm Take your dad’s old one! STEP THREE Best conventional weapons Pee around the Belt bowl, not in it Purpose: Doubles a tool My vintage utility belt is useful, Dad! Handgun Knife Big Rock Difficulty Level: 2 Difficulty Level: 1 Difficulty Level: 2 STEP FOUR Coolness Level: 2 Coolness Level: 3 Coolness Level: 0 cover the hole with a plastic tarp without touching the sides of Best unconventional weapons the hole

STEP Five Grenade Sword Barbed-Wire Bat Difficulty Level: 1 Difficulty Level: 3 Difficulty Level: 2 Tight Clothes create a focal point Coolness Level: 4 Coolness Level: 5 Coolness Level: 5 Purpose: Harder to grab onto Go Highlander on them. When blunt force trauma isn’t enough. over the bowl by Is that Zombie Bruno Mars? My 511’s are useful, Dad! placing a rock there STEP SIX Wait to gather 3 water until sun things to keep begins to set you sane

Tunes A cool sidekick dog A sexy companion Solar charger necessary. Collar necessary. Commitment necessary.

Compiled by: Candace Rojo Callan Berry Graphics by: Carli Krueger Montana Kaimin Thursday, November 30, 2012 13

Everyone believes they’ll be If you get queasy from under- HOW the ones to make it through the cooked beef, you probably won’t TO apocalypse. We all have that feel good eating the flesh of your good, natural, survival-of-the- fallen comrades. Get a jump- fittest instinct. But let’s face it: start on all your competitors for The end of the world as we know soon-to-be scarce resources with Survive it won’t be an easy transition. these handy tips. [ by Riley Pavelich ]

Illustration by Callan Berry Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 4 Step 5 Plant a garden. The Food Raise chickens. Not only Collect rainwater. Put a bar- Get to know your neighbor. Get in shape. The apoca- Farm won’t be available for will your feathered friends till rel under the gutter on your Maybe you can band together lypse will be the ultimate fit- your nosh needs, so bring the your garden plot and provide roof and harvest free, fresh and protect the homestead ness test. Transportation will food source closer to home. manure, they are a great supply water. Admittedly, it’s hardly a from roving gangs of maraud- be reduced to your two legs, Plant perennials and veg- of steady food (i.e. eggs). Chick- substitute for a white-chocolate, ers. Together you can double so you better make sure you etables that pack high-density ens eat waste products, so your triple-shot latte, but remember: your stock of canned peas. can flee now. If you hate just sustenance. Learn to can and commune won’t have to waste This is the apocalypse, people! Pleasures will be few and far walking to the gas station for ferment your produce so it lasts a single, precious scrap. Be- Sacrifices must be made. between, but there is that one burritos and soda and are in- longer. Keep your dignity and sides, birds are the closest liv- thing no amount of nuclear cased in pillows of your own digestive tract intact by avoid- ing relatives to dinosaurs, so fallout can take away from us: flesh, you’re not gonna make ing cannibalism. Be the best- they know a thing or two about SEX! Get friendly now to avoid it in the new world. Sorry. nourished tribe in the waste- adaptation from the last extinc- awkward, thinly veiled propo- [email protected] land. tion. sitions to repopulate the earth. Montana Kaimin 14 ARTS+CULTURE Friday, November 30, 2012

REVIEW The Evens: Dad’s rock isn’t ‘Dad Rock’ Eben Keller found on “The Odds” in tracks Ask any true punker about Montana Kaimin like “Warble Factor.” Minor Threat and prepare As per the usual lineup, yourself for a long discussion A husband-and-wife musi- MacKaye angrily strums a bari- about how “sick” that band re- cal partnership doesn’t work tone guitar and Farina play- ally was. But in contrast to tra- for everybody. It didn’t work ing simple yet tight drum riffs ditional punk groups, MacKaye for Sonny and Cher, it didn’t on the downbeat. The Evens preached non-violence, no drug work for Tina and Ike and it display their stubborn punk or alcohol abuse and no “sex as didn’t work for Donnie and ideals in “Wanted Criminals” a conquest,” completely buck- Marie. Well, those two weren’t with lyrics like “Everybody’s ing the notion of the devious really married, but there was got their badges/but they’ve punk rockers who perpetu- definitely some kind of weird got no one to apprehend/what ated the “sex, drugs and rock chemistry going on there. if every single person was a ’n’ roll” mantra of the ’70s. In Still, couple Ian MacKaye deputy/writing on the wall,” fact, MacKaye has been known and Amy Farina form The while chanting in an ominous- to stop a show to confront un- Evens and are on their third ally soothing tone “jails in search ruly crowd surfers or violent bum. Each album is titled more of prisoners” as the refrain. patrons and throw them out if cleverly and minimally than Lyrically speaking, The Evens they can’t behave. But not be- MacKaye’s oddly simplistic yet have roots in a less-than-subtle fore refunding their money. stirring guitar riffs. In their form of poetry, but still retain a Reasonable and fair, the way most recent contribution to the sense of thought-provoking lyr- any father should be, even if world of post-punk-graduated- ics aimed at ruffling the feath- it is one of the fathers of punk into-maturity rockers, “The ers of the suit-and-tie-wearing music. Odds” wets the lips of cardigan businessmen who seem to be But don’t let Dad’s preaching MacKaye’s son is featured on the cover of The Evens’ new album. wearing, straight-edge punk the lifelong enemies of the turn you off. The Evens take intellectuals — a subculture punk rocker. a much-needed break from MacKaye and Farina complain to fuel his lyrics and music. De- MacKaye himself spearheaded Dating all the way back to cramming their values down about a particular venue they bate amongst yourselves about more than two decades ago, his days with Minor Threat your throat and feature sev- felt didn’t give them the proper whether or not this is a good during his Minor Threat days. and Fugazi, D.C.’s MacKaye eral songs with a lighter tone. treatment, the background pi- thing; if anything within our “The Odds” carries a quieter has always been famous for his “Timothy Wright” offers play- ano adds to the atmosphere of society had changed for the rebellion than MacKaye’s earlier DIY method of writing and re- ful chanting and harmoniz- the bar and seems to acknowl- better (in MacKaye’s eyes), he groups, but the album’s sound cording music and his lifelong ing reminiscent of ’50s soda edge the silliness of the story, would have less to be angry is far from restrained. All of the dedication to playing only ob- fountain music, albeit darker. even if their concerns were about, and we would have less “this-establishment-is-f***ed- scure, under-the-radar venues “The Other Thing” focuses on valid. The song could easily be of his music to enjoy. and-let-me-tell-you- why” atti- like book stores, libraries and upbeat and bouncy riffs and a quirky radio ad for the band, This album could have gone tude and energy behind Fugazi small dive bars in an effort to a funky yet simplistic bridge. as well as a warning for any wrong in any number of ways. songs like “Waiting Room” and keep ticket prices affordable for Even in their song “Compet- hopeful show promoters. “Our Given MacKaye’s history as a “Shut The Door” can still be his fans. ing With The Till,” in which audience is your clientele,” sing complete control freak, the fact Mackaye and Farina. that he is beginning to enter MacKaye is now 50 years his “twilight” years, raising a old. He and Farina have a son and collaborating with his 4-year-old son, and there is wife (which, according to every only a small chance their off- sitcom, is a disaster waiting to spring will grow up to be even happen) could seem like you’re half as influential in music as asking too much. his father and mother. There And yet, for someone who is little chance you will ever has been as steadily angry as catch MacKaye’s son with his MacKaye seems to be, it’s a mir- head in his hands while his acle that he hasn’t succumbed dad mows the front lawn in to any sort of tragic health is- his tightey-whiteys. Few dads sues. Now that he is a father to could ever be as cool in their more than just an entire genre, 50s as MacKaye. What’s more we can only hope he will find impressive is he hasn’t lost any more things to be angry about of his contempt, which seems in parenthood. [email protected] Montana Kaimin Friday, November 30, 2012 ARTS+CULTURE 15 LOCAL THEATER Making art after the apocalypse Riley Pavelich difficulties and timing conflicts ter the last ice age and continues to Montana Kaimin nearly derailed the production. The present day. The plot follows a re- troupe thinned as actors realized constituted family that plans a play The original production “Holo- staging a play was a serious time of its own in hopes of rekindling cene” began with an empty porch obligation. The remaining commit- the arts and uniting the remnants and a sluggish Missoula summer. ted players were forced to re-visu- of humanity. The first meeting of the offbeat alize their concept. Bickley said he was interested “porch play” was in May, when “I let Hugh know that what- in the notion that the human race is Hugh Bickley was elected writer ever incarnation ‘Holocene’ took, I standing on the shoulders of every- and director of the yet-to-be con- wanted to be a part of it,” said Na- thing that came before, and how all ceived piece. than Adkins, a UM theatre major that history could be contained in Bickley, a senior University of and original member of the play. the sweeping narrative of a single Montana theatre major, began The group finally has the chance human life. Meghan Nolt/Montana Kaimin work on the script in July, some- to present its unique vision of the The post-apocalyptic landscape Cole Hochhalter, left, and Colton Swibold, right, rehearse a scene from times spending weeks at a time zombie-apocalypse aftermath. provides ample fodder for artists the upcoming play “Holocene.” The play was written and directed by barely sleeping to write his first There will be a staged reading at of all genres. Bickley said he was UM student Hugh Bickley and will premiere Dec. 3 at the Palace. full-length play. the Palace downtown Missoula drawn to the topic by the pop cul- “This show addresses a lot of to life thanks to the enthusiasm of “Writing, most of the time, is Monday, Dec. 3, at 7 p.m. Entry is ture fascination with the apoca- relevant issues, like family, love, a group of friends who wanted to pretty lonely,” he said. “But in this free, but donations are appreciated. lypse and the sense that humans survival, art and art’s ability to use their summer constructively. case, I had a bunch of actors who “I’m kind of offering up my are caught in the rinse-wash-repeat unite,” Adkins said. “It’s been a long time coming, wanted to help me get this script baby to the public,” Bickley said. “I cycle of history. His final product is Although “Holocene” cast and we put a lot of work into it,” on its feet.” feel like I’m walking out in my un- a critique of a possession-obsessed members are students at UM, they Adkins said. “I’m just excited for The cast of nine initially ex- derwear.” society and suggests a radical re- resisted staging the play through people to see it.” pected to host the play on the porch The word “Holocene” refers to exploration of the concept of uni- the school. It’s a piece that came [email protected] by the end of August. Conceptual the geological epoch that began af- versal ownership.

REVIEW Turbo Fruits’ set falls flat despite scissor-kicks Christopher Allen a few in the crowd used the space ber of Be Your Own Pet, and it re- crowd waiting, watching the riff and lyrics likely born from Montana Kaimin between songs to slip to the bar leased its self-titled debut album band finish a sound check while it purple rips off a Coke can, “Vol- and crack fresh beers instead of via Thurston Moore’s record label went out back and smoked … cig- cano” might have been their best Within the first minute of pump their fists. “Ecstatic Peace!” in 2007. arettes, or whatever. Maybe it was song of the night. It fired up at the first song, Turbo Fruits’ lead Stein admitted about 15 min- The songs were fun and pretty Stein’s habit of saying, “Thank least two dudes in the crowd, be- singer and guitarist Jonas Stein utes into their set they were “a straightforward. But like a gum- you,” in the middle of songs in- cause they exchanged impromptu backed into the crowd, trying little more drunk than usual,” and ball dropped from a turn-crank stead of waiting till the end like fake face punches while the band to get somebody — anybody — the VFW crowd seemed a little machine, what tastes good at first most bands. Maybe it was Stein’s yelled “volcano” again and again. riled up. But everyone was very more bored than usual during often fails to hold attention for choice to sport his own band’s T- But other tunes came off as polite. No one pushed back. Wednesday night’s set. long. shirt. Keeping up with laundry on covers of The Strokes’ tunes circa Stein’s long hair flung wildly The Nashville, Tenn., rock band A band lacking in the song de- the road has gotta be tough. 2000 or sounded vaguely like rock as he sprung into his first mid- is touring in support of its third partment can often carry a show Whatever it was, the VFW ’n’ roll versions of eight-bit Nin- song scissor kick a few bars later. album “Butter,” which dropped on pure style and air humping. crowd seemed dull and nervous, tendo game theme music. What’s more rock ’n’ roll than in September. Founding member Hell, Turbo Fruits might even be even for a hump day, and the Tur- “We drove 18 hours to get that? Unfortunately, more than Stein formed the band as a mem- the hottest group of guys slinging bo Fruits’ set just never took off here,” said Kingsley Brock, the guitars and drums to visit Mis- like they wanted. Turbo Fruits’ lead guitarist. soula in awhile. But something Despite the lukewarm recep- “What is it, Wednesday night? about the set just didn’t get most tion, there were some moments Well, it’s our Friday night!” If the people’s juices flowing. that seemed to resonate with a Turbo Fruits roll through town Maybe it was the 10-minute few fans. again, let’s hope they make a more false start to their set that left the With its dark and fuzzed-out convincing case. [email protected] Montana Kaimin 16 FEATURE Friday, November 30, 2012

PLAN who are as sexy as they are ment. The cabinet doors and ta- from a balcony in an apartment dad, though he never tries to From page 7 fierce. Even Selena wears a styl- bletop would be enough to suf- building. They follow the lights, deny that some dystopian event ish headscarf and gold earrings ficiently cover the downstairs where they meet Frank and could happen, always asks the market towns. And then it with an enticing trench coat, doors and windows. The stair Hannah, a father and daughter same question: “Why would wasn’t on the TV anymore. It and yet she has no problem rails could be cut into bars to who survived the virus. Frank you even want to survive some- was in the street outside. It was chopping the head off anyone reinforce the upstairs windows plays Selena and Jim a pre-re- thing like that?” coming through your windows. who screws with her. and still allow enough space to corded radio broadcast trans- Dec. 21, I will be one se- It was a virus. An infection. You She is the type of woman view outside. We realized we mitted by an Army blockade mester away from my col- didn’t need a doctor to tell you I hope I could be, but I know could reconfigure the rain gut- near Manchester where they lege degree, have a Pinterest that. It was the blood. It was even if I had a trendy crossbow ters into the upstairs windows have the answer to infection, page full of wedding ideas something in the blood. By the or machete — which I don’t — for water. We identified all the and so the four set off together and have spent 22 years living time they tried to evacuate the I wouldn’t know how to use vents and spaces to the outside in search of hope. in the same town. Unlike my cities, it was already too late. it. Holding a gun makes me and bought more than enough “All the death. All the shit,” dad, I haven’t had my shot to Army blockades were overrun. shake, even though I was raised duct tape to seal them and more Selena said. “It doesn’t really live yet, not in the real world. I And that’s when the exodus around them. than enough nails to board up mean anything to Frank and haven’t had a chance to make started. Before the TV and ra- Then I met Joseph, a stereo- the house. We started filling Hannah because … Well, she’s something of myself. And yet, dio stopped broadcasting, there typical tough guy with a similar empty milk jugs with water and got a dad, and he’s got his there is this idea of relief. Re- were reported infections in Par- fear-turned-obsession about the organized camping supplies daughter. So, I was wrong when lief from chasing a pay check, is and New York. We didn’t hear possibility of real-life dystopia. into easily loaded crates. We cre- I said that staying alive is as from small talk, from makeup anything more after that.” Two months later, we were liv- ated two meeting points in case good as it gets.” and leg-shaving, from body im- The movie forced me to won- ing together. violence or threats spread too I’ve tried to talk to my dad age and fashion, from being a der — and not just once. I won- We would go on walks and quickly for us to meet at home, about preparing for the end woman in a man’s world, from dered for years: What would I inevitably discuss plans in case in case there was no time to of the world. To warn him of five-year plans and the pres- do if I were Selena? of apocalyptic fallout. What be- grab supplies before we needed threats. To see where he thinks sure to pop out babies. The only New dystopian television gan as “what-if?” conversations to leave the city. If nothing else, we should meet. After all, my thing you have to do in the post- shows and movies like “Revolu- quickly turned into a plan. we would have each other. dad is an old hunter with more apocalyptic world is survive, tion” or “The Hunger Games,” We inventoried the supplies In the film, Selena and Jim guns and ammo than I could and survival alone is winning. feature female protagonists in our 700-square-foot apart- see Christmas lights shining ever acquire on my own. My [email protected]

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