The Non-Jew in the Synagogue

oday all congregations face the prohibition, however, on the ability of question of the appropriate a non-Jew to attend services and say Troles for the non-Jewishi part- prayers. Within halakhic parameters, ner of a member of the congregation. it might be possible for a gentile to This is the hottest and most divisive lead a prayer that is not an obligatory issue in North American congrega- part of the service. For example, the tional life. The issues are particularly shebeyanzr prayer at a simba is not a difficult for Reconstructionists, mandatory prayer and might be said because we have placed peoplehood at by a non-Jew, and responded to by the center of Judaism. Reconstruc- Jews, even in a halakhically governed tionists have always maintained that congregation.' belonging is more central than behav- Without being able to depend on ing and believing. We have not wanted the authoritative decisions of to exclude any Jews on the basis of halakhah, Reconstructionist and their belief-Zionists, Socialists, Reform congregations are faced with Communists, anarchists, atheists. the decisions of which ritual and civic How than can we exclude someone rights they will accord the non-Jewish from certain aspects of communal life spouse. I will focus here on how on the basis of beliefs-especially Reconstructionist congregations can someone who has either made, or is come to a decision and what some of willing to make, a commitment of the criteria are that need to be consid- belonging by joining the synagogue ered. and agreeing to raise Jewish children? We are a movement of study and In the Orthodox and Conservative process, with guidance and leadership movements, these questions are not provided by our rabbis. Being a par- decided by congregations, but by rab- ticipatory and democratic body, deci- binic authority based on halakhah. sion-making is not ceded to the rabbi. Through the lens of hahkhah, the The Reconstructionist congregation non-Jewish spouse may not be a studies hahkhah, but halakhah is not member, have an aliyah or be a leader determinative. The paradigmatic of the service. There is no halakhic Reconstructionist process calls for

Rabbi Mordechai Liebling is Executive Director of the Federation of Reconstructionist Congregations and Havurot.

30 Fall I994 The Reconstructionist study of traditional sources, a compi- symbolic value. They can be acting lation of relevant values, both Jewish out anger at a Jewish community, and secular, an examination of socio- which they feel has rejected them, logical and/or scientific data, and an whether the rejection came from the analysis of the impact of each of the rabbi who refused to officiate at the possible decisions on each of the wedding, the relatives who refused to affected parties. It also calls for a attend, or the parents who were less democratic, inclusionary process max- than welcoming. They are ofien angry imizing the number of people at a perceived hypocrisy by a congre- involved. Some congregations, in gation that says you are welcome, but order to insure an educated decision, only welcome to come so far in the have stipulated that in order to take door, not all the way in--close, but part in a final vote, one has to have not too close. attended a certain number of For both Jews and non-Jews, the study/discussion sessions. issue has a symbolic as well as a prac- tical significance. Because there is so Emotional Lightning Rod much pain embedded in these discus- Intermarriage has affected the sions, somewhere in the process this immediate families of the vast majori- pain needs to be acknowledged and ty of Jews. Many Jews are disturbed by participants need to be given the this trend and feel powerless to pre- opportunity to talk about their feel- vent it. The only place that many feel ings and relevant experiences. A safe they can exercise some control over structure is essential if people are to this issue is in the synagogue. For talk about either the pain or fears that some who felt that they could not take impact on their opinions. Paying a "hard line" in their own family or attention to the emotional valence find a way to prevent it, they, "by will make the study and decision- golly," are going to do something in making process less acrimonious. their synagogue. The particular issue The challenge is to make the of what the non-Jewish partner may process spiritually uplifting. This can or may not do in the synagogue happen only when the humanity of becomes the symbol of all the prob- each person is allowed to surface. This lems of intermarriage. And this time spiritual uplift can also take place if they do have a voice and a vote. Thus, this study process becomes an oppor- the synagogue discussions have tunity to reexamine and recommit to become an emotional lightning rod our deeper values-to remind our- and dumping gound for people's selves why we belong to the Jewish feelings about all issues relating to people. intermarriage. For the intermarried couple or Criteria of Belonging their supportive friends or family Decisions about the role of the members, the discussions also have non-Jewish spouse ought to be based

The Reconstructionist Fall 1994 31 on the explicit values of the synagogue Jewish people. Conversion makes one community. The mission statement is a full member of the Jewish people a good place to start. What are we with all rights and responsibilities. here for? What are the values of our Can one belong to the Jewish peo- synagogue?What is the congregation's ple and not be a Jew? I have been responsibility as a Jewish community asked,"Can I have a secular conver- to its members, to the families of its sion?" meaning, "Can I join the Jew- members, to the Jewish people, to the ish people, but not subscribe to its larger society? religion?" I recognize, somewhat para- There is a continuum of possible doxically, that many born Jews do not participation for non-Jews in both believe in the religious aspects of the ritual and the civic areas of syna- Judaism, yet they do not thereby lose gogue life. The ritually related ques- their status as Jews. The tradition has tions are: can non-Jews be counted in always rejected belief as a criterion of a minyan, lead part of the service, be belonging for anyone who is the child called to the Torah, or be accorded of a Jewish woman, but has main- any honors? In the civic realm, we tained belief as a criterion for conver- need to ask if they can be members, sion. Reconstructionists too insist that serve on the board, serve on or chair accepting some version of Jewish a committee, or be president of the belief-demonstrated through con- congregation. version-is necessary to join the Jew- Any congregation debating these ish people. Is it not paradoxical, then, questions needs to realize that the that by granting a non-Jew the ability decisions arrived at not only effect the to join a synagogue we have created, personal lives of the individuals in in effect, a "secular con~ersion"?~ question, their families and the con- Every study done about children of gregation, but also the hture of the intermarriages indicates that if the Jewish people as a whole. The Jewish gentile spouse converts, the children people and our traditions therefore of the marriage are far more likely to have a stake in each congregation's be identified as Jewish. Conversion is, decision. in part, a meaningful act because it The Reconstructionist movement leads to a change in status. Our chal- has affirmed on several occasions cri- lenge is to encourage conversion with- teria for conversion: a process of seri- out exerting pressure, by making ous study of Judaism, berit milah (cir- becoming Jewish attractive, fulfilling cumcision) or hatafat dam berit (a rit- and uplifting. We also must continue ual drop of blood) for a man, and to make welcome non-Jewish spouses tevihh (ritual immersion) for both who are not considering- conversion. men and women. More than just a Permeable or Fixed Boundaries? study process, conversion is a ritual of mutual acceptance on the part of the It is a truism in anthropology and Jew by choice and on the part of the sociology that only those groups sur-

32 Fall 1994 The ReconstmctionEjt vive that maintain clear and strong about its future and, by extension, in boundaries. Living in the most open the future of the Jewish people. It host society in our history and experi- should be noted in this context that encing high rates of intermarriage and many congregations give each house- assimilation, we need to examine hold unit one vote. where we draw our boundaries. It is In congregations where member- useful to keep in mind that intermar- ship was not accorded, even though riage among all ethnic groups (except those congregations were committed African-Americans) and relgious to welcoming non-Jews, the prevalent denominations has shot up sharply in analogy was with citizenship. One can the last twenty years. We are part of a migrate to the United States, pay taxes larger social phenomenon. The more and enjoy the priviliges of living here, permeable our boundaries are, the but one cannot vote unless one higher the probability that we will be becomes a citizen and declares alle- absorbed by the larger community. giance to the country. By extension, Those are the lessons of biology, one cannot have a vote over the future physics and history. And those same of the congregation till one declares disciplines also teach that permanent- allegianee to its belief system-by ly fixed and rigid boundaries lead to converting. ossification. One might categorize those who Where do we draw the boundary in accorded voting membership as giving civic matters? The Reconstructionist precedence in drawing their boundaries movement has been on record for at to the value of maintaining relation- least a decade in welcoming- the non- ships and community, and those who Jewish spouse into the community. did not accord voting membership as The results of a FRCH poll in 1992 giving precedence in drawing their show that a majority of Reconstruc- boundaries to the value of maintaining tionist congregations consider the structure and law. Good and well- non-Jewish spouse a voting member meaning people differ over the issue of of the congregation, while placing where to draw the lines, but there is restrictions on the civic roles they can agreement that boundaries are needed. play (e.gthey are restricted from Function of Belief being President, and chair of the ritu- al and education committees). Inclu- To draw these boundaries well, we sivity, being welcoming, concern need to be asking large questions: Do about feelings and communal ties we want to maintain the distinctive- were the deciding arguments for con- ness of Judaism and of the Jews as a gregations that voted to include gen- distinct group in society? What are tile partners in the civic life of the the implications of easing boundaries? congregation. It was argued that the Is groupness necessary to maintain non-Jewish spouse, tied to the congre- meaning and value in Jewishness? Is gation through family ties, has a voice groupness a goal or a strategy?

The Reconstructionist Fall 1994 33 To answer them, let us return to understood that public worship con- our definition of Judaism-our nects us with all Jews who came Reconstructionist mission statement, before us and all those to come after "Judaism is the evolving religious civi- us. It would be difficult to make this lization of the Jewish people." It is connection with a non-Jew as the religion that has given our civilization leader of traditional prayer, or as the meaning, and been our glue, our rai- giver of a Devar Torah. (The role of son d'etre. It is particularly in the reli- the gentile in leading additional read- gious- realm that we must pay special ings or having a role in acts such as attention to our boundaries. opening the ark is a separate, and cer- I would argue that maintenance of tainly debatable point.) groupness is essential, because it allows Individual Needs vs. everything else to happen. The Jewish religion requires group particpation: Group Needs one needs ten people, a minyan, as the - - One other reason that the role of minimum number required for public the non-Jew in our congregations worship. And certain prayers can only poses a dilemma for us is that it high- be said in public worship, perhaps the lights the tension between the needs most important of which is the kaddish, of the individual and the needs of the obligatory while mournhg. Judaism is community. Western liberal democra- not a religion that promotes the solitary tic culture has laced the needs and quest. The spiritual life of the Jew rights of the individual above the requires c~mmunity.~ needs of society as a whole. (This is Given the role that Judaism as a the core critique offered by the con- religion plays in our civilization, it is temporary Communitarian move- important to be very conscious about ment.) Judaism, and ~articularly how decisions about boundaries are Reconstructionism, understands that made and who makes them, remem- there is a tension between the needs of bering that boundaries act out our the individual and the needs of the self-definition. In religious matters, group. Both sets of needs cannot we act as representatives of the tradi- always be served. tion. Any person leading a required We may understand and respect a portion of the service represents the particular non-Jew who is a member of cominunity to itself and to God. The our community. We may even have a hahkhah is very clear that a non-Jew range of negative feelings and doubts cannot lead the community in any about ourselves by limiting that indi- required prayer^.^ I can find no ethical vidual's role--circumscribing his or or functional reasons for a Recon- her freedom. But it is helpful in think- structionist to argue with this tradi- ing this matter through to put our- tion. One function of a minyan is the selves in the gentile's place relative to recreation, reaffirmation of the our community. What Jew would covenant. Reconstructionists have expect to go to church and take Com-

34 Fall 1994 The Reconstructionist munion without being a believing 1. I will use the terms "non-Jew" and "gentile" member of that church's faith tradi- interchangeably. Each of these words elicits visceral responses in us and has its drawbacks. tion? Why should a non-Jew have a 2. M. Berakhot 8:s reads: "One answers similar expectation about interacting 'Amen' after a Jew who blesses, but one does with our sancta? not answer 'Amen' &er a Samaritan [kutz] Wrestling with these boundary who blesses, unless he hears the entire bless- questions provides an opportunity for ing." The Mishnah Berurah of R. Israel Meir Kagan to Shulban Arukh, Orab Hayim 21 5:2, all of us to deepen our understanding notes that when a Gentile mentions God slhe of some important Reconstructionist is not referring to an idol or a false God; values. The question, "Why be Jew- therefore it is possible to respond with ish?" is very much on the minds of "Amen." This precedent is cited by Rabbi many Jews, especially young adults. Joan Friedman in an unpublished responsum that served as the basis for the CCAR respon- The desire for a universal connection sum on non-Jewish participation in the syna- and for a breaking down of boundaries gogue service. is very strong, and, in many cases, 3. Geela Rayzel Raphael, a student at RRC, reflects noble and worthy ideals. But has developed a ceremony for non-Jews who we continually need to revisit the para- want to identify as members of the commu- nity, but are not ready to convert, using the dox that strengthening group ties does biblical category, ger toshau, resident alien. In not necessarily lead to chauvinism, but biblical terms, the ger toshav is expected to can actually make the sense of univer- observe Shabbat (Ex. 20:10), fast on Yom sal feelings and connections more Kippur (Lev.16:29), and participate in reli- attainable. We are not human beings in gious festivals (Deut. 16:ll). 4. Gordon Lafer, "Universalism and Particu- general, but particular human beings larism in Jewish Law: Making Sense of Politi- from a particular people, better able cal Loyalties," in Jewish Identity, David Theo therefore to interact with others, who Goldberg and Michael Krausz, eds. (Philadel- also live in their own particularity. phia: Temple University Press, 1993), 201-02, American life today is faced simul- writes: "For liberals, the individual is the hn- damental, and in some sense the only real, unit taneously with an increase in "me- of political life. Inevitably, then, liberal formu- first" individualism and a fragmenta- lations of community, tribe, or nation rend to tion into groups concerned primarily be anemic... collectivities... represent[ing] useful combinations of individual wills, but they can about their own well-being- Jews' abil- ity to live with and manage the ten- never take on independent moral signifi- cance .... By contrast, Jewish political thought sions surrounding the responsibility does not begin from an original sovereignty. of the individual to the group and of Neither the nation, nor its laws, derive their the group to the individual may there- meaning from the alienated authority of indi- fore hold important lessons and even viduals; on the contrary, the individual in large ways derives his or her identity from member- bring healing to the fissures in our ship in the collectivity. Jews are joined togeth- society. How we Jews model our er not by a social contract, but by a covenental learning in this area may well be the relationship that binds each one to the law and key to our ongoing vitality. + to one another." 5. M. Rosh Hashanah 3:8, quoted in Joan Friedman, unpublished responsum.

The Reconstructionist Fall 1994 35