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Becoming a Jew brochure 2005 8/11/05 11:01 AM Page 5

9 . If I become a Jew, will I be expected Book of Isaiah 56:7, “For My house shall be B I B L I O G R A P H Y to separate from my family of origin? called a house of prayer for all peoples,” Questions almost all Jewish religious services are open Choosing . Lydia Kukoff. NY: URJ Press, 2005 (Revised edition). By no means. Most -by-choice maintain to the public, so you and your family would About warm relationships with their family of Every Person’s Guide to Judaism. Stephen J. Einstein and be welcome to attend. Sabbath services are Lydia Kukoff. NY: URJ Press, 1989 origin. Conversion to a new does held on Friday evening and Saturday morn- Conversion not suddenly make you over into something What Is a Jew? Rabbi Morris N. Kertzer, revised by Rabbi ings. Call the specific congregation during Lawrence A. Hoffman. NY: Collier Books, Macmillan altogether new; nor does it cut you off from the week to find out the times. Publishing Co., Inc., 1997. old family ties or memories.

However, some converts to Judaism find REGIONAL UNION FOR 1 2 . If I’m not yet ready to convert to that, especially initially, their family may be OFFICES BECOMING hurt or confused by their choice. Such Judaism or if I decide not to, what feelings often result from misunderstandings options do my Jewish partner and I Great Lakes Council/ or a lack of knowledge about Judaism and Chicago Federation 847.509.0990 have for our wedding ceremony? Contact Julie Webb [email protected] are, therefore, perfectly understandable. If A JEW it happens with your family, what will help This is a very sensitive issue, on which there Mid-Atlantic Council 202.232.4242 immensely is your patience, as well as a is a broad range of opinions. We encourage Contact Ruth Goldberger [email protected] Each year in North America, willingness to discuss your choice and to you to seek out a rabbi with whom you feel Northeast Council 781.449.0404 show your family that you’ve not abandoned comfortable and have a thorough discussion Contact Dr. Paula Brody [email protected] thousands of people convert to them. about the options. Northeast Lakes Council 847.509.0990 Judaism. While each person’s No matter what kind of wedding ceremony Contact Julie Webb [email protected] path into Jewish life is unique, you have, Reform Judaism considers itself Pacific Central West Council 415.392.7080 1 0 . If I decide not to become a Jew a portal to Jewish life for intermarried Contact Karen Kushner [email protected] there are many shared questions. but I have a partner who is, can families. T h r ough organized Ou t re a c h Pacific Northwest Council 818.907.8740 our children be raised as Jews? programming and a general atmosphere of Contact Arlene Chernow [email protected] This pamphlet answers some openness, an interfaith couple will find a Pacific Southwest Council 818.907.8740 Yes. Many interfaith couples have decided to welcome at Reform congregations. of these basic questions and raise their children as Jews. In many families Contact Arlene Chernow [email protected] today, non-Jewish parents play a key role Pennsylvania Council 202.232.4242 suggests additional resources. Contact Ruth Goldberger [email protected] in providing for their childre n’s Jew i s h 1 3 . Where can I more information education, as well as creating a supportive O U T R E A CH & COMMUNITY Jewish home environment. The more you about Judaism and the process of N ATIONAL OFFICE becoming a Jew? Strengthening Outreach and Membership in Reform Congregations learn about Judaism, the easier this will be Kathryn Kahn, Director 212.650.4230 for you. Many Jews see such parents as the For the names of Reform in your area Naomi Gewirtz, Assistant Director givers of a precious gift and as a blessing to and for more information on Re f o r m Rabbi Michelle Pearlman, Program Coordinator the Jewish people. Judaism, contact the Outreach director in the area closest to you. The directors’ names, addresses, and telephone numbers are listed 1 1 . If I decide not to become a Jew, would on the back. For more general information I be welcome to worship in a syna- about Judaism, the following books offer easily accessible explanations and answers to gogue with my Jewish family? 633 T h i rd Avenue, New Yo rk, NY 1 0 0 1 7 - 6 7 7 8 more of your questions. P : 212.650.4230 F: 212.650.4229 Most Reform and Reconstructionist and o u t [email protected] www. u r j . o r g / o u t re a c h some Conservative and Orthodox congrega- Printed on recycled paper tions warmly welcome interfaith families to Copyright © 2005 by the Union for Reform Judaism participate in various ways in synagogue life. In following the famous verse from the O U T R E A CH & SYNAGOGUE COMMUNITY Strengthening Outreach and Membership in Reform Congregations Becoming a Jew brochure 2005 8/11/05 11:01 AM Page 1

1. Why do people consider aspects of Judaism that most appeal to People considering conversion are expected 7. If I become a Jew, what would be the converting to Judaism? you. Seek out Jewish friends, Jewish family to study Jewish theology, rituals, history, attitude of other Jews toward me? members, or a synagogue community for culture, and customs and to begin incorpo- There are many reasons. Often an interreli- support. As you study and try out Jewish rating Jewish practice into their live s . Judaism has always welcomed those who gious marriage sparks an interest in the practice and customs at your own pace, you The scope of the course of study will vary voluntarily become Jews and considers non-Jewish partner that can lead to a desire will become comfortable with them and from rabbi to rabbi and community to them full-fledged members of the Jewish to share the religion of his or her spouse. prepare for further steps. community. Most now require a course community. The Hebrew , as well as Similarly, when an interfaith couple decides in basic Judaism and individual study with later Jewish texts, includes examples of such An excellent way to get a sense of the to raise children, the non-Jew may initially a rabbi, as well as attendance at services individuals. The most famous and honored traditions and practice of Judaism is to decide to explore Judaism in order to seek a and participation in home practice and example appears in the biblical Book of take an Introduction to Judaism course. religious common ground for the family. synagogue life. Ruth, where Ruth joins the Jewish people Other men and women seeking religious The Reform movement sponsors these and eventually becomes the gre a t - g re a t - meaning in their lives, with or without any courses throughout No r th America. Yo u Keep in mind that you are free to choose the grandmother of King David, from whose connection to a Jewish mate, find that may call a Reform congregation or the Un i o n rabbi with whom you will work. Talk to descendants, according to Jewish tradition, Judaism offers them the best medium of regional office nearest you for more informa- more than one rabbi and find one with the Messiah will come. religious expression. tion (see the list on the back of this pamphlet). whom you are comfortable. This rabbi will then become your guide every step of In our day, most Jews welcome wholeheart- the way through your conversion. One way edly those who have chosen to become Jews. Nonetheless, some Jew s - by-c hoice re p o rt 2. Do Jews seek converts? 4. If I take an Introduction to Judaism to find a rabbi is to call the Re f o r m class, will I be expected to convert? Ou t reach and Synagogue Community occasional offensive comments dire c t e d Centuries ago, Jews did engage in prosely- director in your area. toward them. Although the reasons for such tizing, particularly during the Gr a e c o - No. These courses are offered to anyone attitudes are complicated, they are based on Roman period of , when who wants to learn more about Judaism. ignorance and prejudice and are by no thousands of non-Jews living in Asia Minor They are most often attended by individuals 6. If I become a Jew, would people refer means sanctioned by Judaism. As more and embraced Judaism. The destruction of the considering conversion, by interfaith cou- to me as a “convert”? Is there some m o r e Jew s - b y-choice enter the Jew i s h Roman Empire and mortal threats against ples learning together about Judaism and c o m m u n i t y, as Reform Jewish Ou t re a c h Jews who sought converts marked the end of making decisions about whether to have a other, more proper term to use? promotes education about Jewish views of such efforts to gain converts. Jewish home, as well as by born Jew s In Judaism, people who become Jews have c o n v ersion and sensitivity to Jew s - b y - who want to learn more about their own no less than full Jewish status in every choice, and as public discussion of such a Judaism respects the religious beliefs of heritage. Although many people do take the circumstance. For this reason, there may be choice grows more commonplace, these others, as well as the convictions of those course as part of their process of choosing some objection to any distinctive term that negative views will continue to fade. who choose no religion. At the same time, Judaism, there are no assumptions or expec- refers to a person who has chosen to become Judaism is an open religion that readily tations held about people taking the class. a Jew. On the other hand, many people are accepts and encourages those who look to it proud to let others know they are converts 8. If I convert with a Reform rabbi, will for fulfillment and guidance in meeting life’s to Judaism. Also, as the number of people c h a l l enges. In recent years, the Re f o r m all rabbis consider me a Jew? 5. If I decide that I want to become a becoming Jews continues to increase and as m ovement, through its Commission on various Jewish religious institutions develop Reform, Re c o n s t r uctionist, and, under Ou t r each and Synagogue C o m m u n i t y, Jew, how would I go about it? programs to encourage and assist people in certain circumstances, Conservative rabbis has taken a more active approach to seek- First, make an appointment with a rabbi. this process, it has become useful to talk re c o g n i z e the validity of conve r s i o n s ing out people who might choose to become The rabbi will not only discuss the process m o re publicly about choosing Ju d a i s m . p e rformed by rabbis of all branches of Jews. (This pamphlet is an example of such and implications of becoming a Jew, but Consequently, a number of terms have come Judaism. Many Orthodox rabbis, however, an approach). also explore with you your reasons for want- into common usage, including “convert” do not recognize non-Orthodox conver- ing to do so. In earlier generations, rabbis and “Jew - by-choice,” often used inter- sions. Your sponsoring rabbi will be able to would discourage potential Jews-by-choice, discuss further any implications for you of 3. How do I know if Judaism is right changeably. In our free society in North turning them away three times to test how America today, however, Jewish commit- conversion under his or her auspices. for me? serious they were. This custom is seldom ment is a matter of choice for all who are followed today, but most rabbis still endeav- Jews, by birth or conversion. The best way is to learn as much as you can or to impress upon the potential convert the about Judaism and begin to practice those seriousness of such a choice.