Patrilineal Descent” and Same-Sex Parents: New Definitions of Identity 34 Susan P

The Reconstructionist Volume 70, Number 2, Spring 2006 Table of Contents

Pairs of Perspectives

2 From the Editor

Reconstructionist Judaism 5 Richard Hirsh, Paradigms for Contemporary Reconstructionism 18 Joy Levitt, Reconstructing the Jewish Future

Jewish Identity 26 Renée Bauer, “Patrilineal Descent” and Same-Sex Parents: New Definitions of Identity 34 Susan P. Schein, From “Two Civilizations” to Multiple Identities

Health and Healing 43 Dayle A. Friedman, Seeking the Tzelem: Making Sense of Dementia 56 Louis I. Newman, Praying for Healing in Community

Creativity 62 David Harris Ebenbach, Elijah Knocking: Opening Doors in the Creative Process 70 Jeffrey Schein, Life-Long Jewish Learning: The White Spaces in the Text

Book Reviews 80 Reena Sigman Friedman, Emancipation and Modernity, Review of After Emancipation: Jewish Religious Responses to Modernity by David Ellenson 89 Speed B. Leas, From Self to Community, Review of Spiritual Community: The Power to Restore Hope, Commitment and Joy by David Teutsch 91 Margot Stein, Women of the Bible, Review of The Women Who Danced by the Sea by Marsha Mirkin and Praise Her Works by Penina Adelman From the Editor

Although most issues of The Reconstructionist focus on a common theme, from time to time a series of articles come together than are worthy of inclusion and attention despite their diversity. In this issue, we present pairs of perspectives on four subjects: Reconstruction- ist Judaism, Jewish identity, health and healing and creativity. We also include several book reviews, and hope that the entire issue will be an enjoyable addition to summer reading lists. With this issue, I am completing ten years as Editor of The Reconstructionist and this issue will be the final one for which I have editorial responsibility. After ten years, it is time for a fresh perspective and new vision in the Editor’s chair, and I look forward to using the time that will become available to do more of my own writing. When the Fall 2006 issue appears, we will be announcing and welcoming the next Editor of this journal. The Reconstructionist began life as a magazine in 1935, published bi-weekly first by the Society for the Advancement of Judaism, then after 1940 by the Jewish Reconstructionist Foundation. When the Foundation closed in 1982, publication responsibilities shifted to the Federation of Reconstructionist Synagogues and Havurot (FRCH, now renamed the Jewish Reconstructionist Federation, JRF). When, in 1993, FRCH decided that its mission to the growing Reconstruc- tionist movement could better be served by creating a smaller magazine-like publication (what became our sister publication, Reconstructionism Today), the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College (RRC) assumed the responsibility for main- taining The Reconstructionist, which shifted at that time to our current format as a journal. The RRC, the JRF and the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association (RRA) agreed at that time to provide the financial support necessary to keep The Reconstructionist growing as an intellectual voice. In recent years, the RRC and RRA alone have sustained this journal, while the JRF devoted itself to expanding Reconstructionism Today. My interest in The Reconstructionist began with the gift to me of a nearly-complete set of the magazine from 1935-1970 by my college professor Dr. Emanuel Green, who himself was a contributing editor during the 1940s and 1950s. As a Jewish Studies major, having this document of American Jewish history was a tremendous resource, and it was also a remarkable treasury of the history of the movement for someone who was then a nascent but devoted Reconstruction- ist. As such collections so often are, this one was mildly incomplete, with issues missing here and there. Over the years, through the generosity of many Recon- structionist rabbis and laypeople who thought to send boxes of old issues to my attention, I managed to secure many of the issues I was missing. Sometimes,

• Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist serendipity would intervene. In the summer of 1996 during a vacation visit to Springfield, Illinois, I wandered into a used book store, and was surprised to find over two dozen bound volumes of The Reconstructionist. The owner was delighted to have someone take them off his hands for a minimal price, adjusted downward when he discovered I was the current editor. (Not too many other Reconstructionists were likely to wander into that store.) Eventually, the collection was completed; I’m not sure how many other Reconstructionists can claim the distinction of having read the entire run from 1935 onward. This past year, as announced in a previous issue, through the initiative of Rabbi Sandy Sasso of Indianapolis, the American Theological Library Association began the process of scanning electronically the entire set of The Reconstructionist from 1935 to the current issue. When this project is completed (that’s a lot of pages to turn) it will be possible to access every issue on-line for those with subscriptions to ATLA or access to a library that subscribes. Editing The Reconstructionist has been an honor, and particularly so for our recent 70th anniversary issue (Fall 2005; back issues are still available at info@ therra.org). Editing is only the final stage in a process that begins with the Editorial Board generating themes, topics and suggestions for articles as well as for authors. I want to thank the members of the Editorial Board for their insight, ideas and devotion to the journal, and for their constant scouting for and recruiting of people to write for The Reconstructionist. I also want to thank the many people who have taken the time to write for the journal and to contribute book reviews. Intelligent and articulate writing seems increasingly difficult to sustain in contemporary culture, and Jewish culture is regrettably no exception. Even (perhaps particularly) in the age of the internet, emails and blogs, the need for sustained, systematic and significant analysis and discussion of important issues remains central, and is especially central to the mission of The Reconstructionist. (Of late, I will admit, the image of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, the founder of this publication, sitting at his computer writing Recon- structionist blogs has occasionally come to mind. One can only imagine what Kaplan would have done with the resources of the internet at his command.) In the 70th anniversary issue, Rabbi Judy Gary Brown’s name was omitted on the tribute page for previous editors, associate editors and managing and/or production editors. Judy served as production editor from 1996-1999, and I thank her for her assistance and excellent work during those years. There are people whose contributions to The Reconstructionist often go un- named, but who deserve to be recognized: Since 2000 Lawrence Bush has been handling the production and layout aspects of publication. He has also contributed articles and reviews, as well as offering creative suggestions and helpful feedback as each issue has come together. Larry recently stepped down as the Editor of Reconstructionism Today after 13 years, after bringing that publication into existence and nurturing its growth as it became a

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • vital voice in the movement. Marilyn Silverstein has not only been an astute, accurate and demanding proofreader, but someone whose combination of Jewish knowledge and literary grace contributed often towards making our articles clearer and consequently more valuable. The former and current Executive Assistants at the RRA, Linda Kaplan and Sharon Presser, Arlene Spector at RRC and Phyllis Zeeman at JRF have all been involved in managing the data bases for The Reconstructionist. Without them, the issues over which we labor would not reach our readers. Lisa Cohen of the RRC has managed all of our modest financial affairs with patience and good humor. I want to thank the previous editors of this journal, each of whom spent equally long hours soliciting, editing, revising and publishing articles. It’s easy to lose perspective while deciding on such matters as whether to un-split infinitives or remove the serial comma. Sometimes one can forget that what gets bound between the covers of this journal becomes a durable document, a record of thinking that once published represents both the historical legacy of The Reconstructionist and the contemporary community of Reconstructionist Jews. I hope that the 19 issues over which I have presided in these past ten years have contributed to the honoring of both. Finally, I want to thank Rabbi David Teutsch who, as president of the RRC in 1996, agreed to accept my application to become the Editor of this journal. As has happened so many times over the 30 years of our friendship and professional collaboration, David’s invitation to me to work on a project on behalf of the Re- constructionist movement allowed me the opportunity to grow in new directions and to learn and to hone new skills. In appointing me as Editor, David gave me the chance to make what I hope has been a modest but significant contribution to the intellectual legacy of a movement that stands on the substantial shoulders of Rabbis Mordecai Kaplan and Ira Eisenstein. I am grateful to him for this opportunity and for his support and friendship over the years. With respect and appreciation I dedicate this issue to him. —Richard Hirsh

• Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist Paradigms for Contemporary Reconstructionism

By Richard Hirsh

This article is dedicated to my current and mitment to a vision of history that former students at the Reconstructionist culminated in the arrival of the Mes- Rabbinical College, whose probing ques- siah. As the credibility of each of these tions, perceptive analyses, and principled mythic components was called in to positions have helped me to define and question in the open society of Amer- refine the paradigms under discussion. ica, the taken-for-granted affirmation of traditional Judaism was diminished. hen Mordecai Kaplan set And one consequence among many was out to write Judaism as a that patterns of common Jewish ritual W Civilization, he wanted behavior soon dissolved. to create a contemporary rationale for Jewish identification, commitment and Kaplan’s Context, and Ours continuity. Like many Jewish thinkers of the modern period, Kaplan assumed Reconstructionism as defined by that the fundamental issue was one of Kaplan was a response to a specific ideology or concept, i.e., that without community (the American Jewish something credible to replace the community) at a specific time (the supernatural assumptions of the pre- 1920s-1930s) and a specific profile modern tradition, there would be no (immigrants to a degree, but even more basis on which to build a contemporary so to first- and second-generation Jews Jewish life. born in the United States). When we The pre-modern Jewish myth of look at the 21st-century Jewish com- origins included: a conception of a munity, comprised now primarily of creator God with whom personal inter- third, fourth and even fifth genera- action was possible; an understanding tion American Jews, and increasingly of the Jewish people as God’s chosen populated by non-Jews married to or community, whose origins and as- partnered with Jews, we find that the sured continuity came through divine questions, concerns and needs are quite intervention; a faith in the Torah and different than those of the audience halakha as being divinely revealed, for whom Kaplan wrote Judaism as a authoritative and binding; and a com- Civilization.

Rabbi Richard Hirsh is the Executive Director of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association, and was Editor of The Reconstructionist from 1996-2006. The views expressed here are the personal views of the author and do not represent the RRA.

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • Adaptations prior to Kaplan were as they try to integrate, often for the largely cosmetic: on the analogy of a first time, Jewish practices into their home, some thought you could simply spiritual lives. It is not so much an redecorate (classical Reform’s adaptation ideology of Judaism that they seek as an of Protestant civility for what soon be- approach to maneuvering through the came known as “worship”); or move the rich but complex resources of Jewish furniture around (korbanot [sacrifices] tradition that can avoid the “all-or- to the basement, the prophets to the nothing” polarities of secularism and front parlor); some thought adding on a Orthodoxy. room would help (political Zionism). We in the Reconstructionist move- Only Kaplan got it right, because ment, and especially Reconstructionist he was the only one who realized that rabbis, have an opportunity to contrib- the problem was not in the paint or ute something unique to this process, wallpaper, in the furniture, or in reno- because our approach to ritual decision vations. He saw that the problem was making stands apart from both the the foundation. Unless the foundation Reform and Conservative options. But got repaired or rebuilt, anything resting we rarely articulate how we differ. Even on top would not be sustained. more crucially, we rarely take enough steps back to get the bigger picture, Building on the Foundation and see the context within which we are engaged in the reconstruction of Part of rebuilding the foundation for Judaism. Kaplan was the creation of a naturalistic In this article, therefore, I want to paradigm to replace the inadequate and analyze the moment in Jewish history implausible supernatural paradigm of where we find ourselves, and to seek pre-modern Judaism. That work having analogies from the past that can guide been done by the early generations of us through the present. I then want to Reconstructionist leaders, our task is propose specific ways of approaching different. Building on Kaplan’s foun- tradition that can be responsive to cur- dation, the challenge for our time is to rent needs within that context. While create pragmatic paradigms of Jewish much of what is under discussion here living that are rooted in conceptual applies specifically to the work of Re- consistency. constructionist rabbis, the paradigms Kaplan sought to create an ideol- described are relevant to the work of ogy that would sustain and support the movement as a whole. patterns of Jewish living and religious observance that could more-or-less be I. First Paradigm: Living in taken for granted in his time. We face “Mishna Time” a different problem, insofar as familiar- ity with such traditional patterns has By way of identifying our context, I dissolved. We work with Jews seeking suggest we are living in times more akin an approach to ritual decision making to those of the Mishna than of the Ge-

• Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist mara and the later codes of Jewish law. cited in the Gemara reopen discussions This circumscribes our options, defines and even make changes to conclusions our choices, and requires us to assess cited previously. what we can and cannot accomplish Although the short-term resolution under such circumstances. of any number of issues of Jewish law When the second Temple in Je- was a major achievement, what the rusalem was destroyed in 70 CE, an Mishna accomplished was more signifi- already-fractious Jewish community cant than rulings on halakhic questions. was thrown into disarray. The religious The Mishna was able to organize issues, task of the moment was to organize the arrange prior and current opinions, conversations that needed to happen and reconstruct the grammar, vocabu- in order to reconstruct the discourse lary and syntax of the Jewish religious of Jewish religious life — to try and conversation. Put differently, what the make order out of chaos. Many of Mishna reflects is the religious discourse the discussions, debates and decisions of the Jewish people (or, perhaps more that occurred in the first and second narrowly, of the rabbinic leaders) in a centuries of the Common Era found transitional period following a collec- their way into the first authoritative tive trauma, in which the search for written code to emerge after the crisis stability was crucial. of 70 CE — the Mishna. The rabbinic leaders of that time faced the daunting Diversity Dominates tasks of imposing order on chaos, and sifting and sorting conflicting opinions, The period of the Mishna was char- practices and principles. It is not an acterized not only by halakhic but by accident that we speak about the six theological and ideological differences “orders” of the Mishna. as well. Our time is characterized by While in many cases the authori- many of the same kinds of debates. ties cited in the Mishna were able to Since the explosion of Jews into moder- reach consensus on matters of Jewish nity, we have been struggling to make law, including ritual practice, in other order out of chaos. The 19th century cases the discussions were inconclusive, rabbis/scholars thought they could do with differing opinions and procedures that through theological and ritual recited when no definitive positions vision as seen in what became Reform emerged. Sometimes the emergence of Judaism and in the wissenschaft move- answers (what in our terms we might ment that incubated what would later call policies or procedures) had to wait emerge as Conservative Judaism. for different and more stable times But even as the Jewish people was and sets of circumstances; hence the trying simultaneously to rethink its Gemara and the later codes. And in collective identity so as to be able to other cases, despite the halakha of a embrace the option of civil enfranchise- given issue seeming to have been settled ment and to rethink its religious ideol- in the Mishna, the rabbinic authorities ogy in support of that effort, circum-

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • stances dictated that stability would be alongside the traumas, we have faced ephemeral. The Dreyfus affair, the rise unprecedented circumstances, includ- of political Zionism, the world wars, ing the creation of the first Jewish the Shoah and the establishment of Me- homeland/political entity in two mil- dinat Yisrael are just a few of the things lennia, and the impact of intermarriage that have kept us in Mishna-time. We within our own North American Jewish continue to live in a period of readjust- community. ment that lacks consensus, and where The first and second centuries of the diversity dominates. Common Era were also similar to our Recognizing and accepting the time in that competing ideologies and larger context in which we are doing strategies for survival were very much our work is essential if we are to have a in play. Jews in the early centuries of realistic sense of what can and cannot the Common Era could choose from a be accomplished in such moments in variety of what we might anachronisti- Jewish history. Rabbis often counsel cally call “denominations.” There were individuals who have suffered a recent the “fundamentalists” (the Sadducees) loss or undergone a major life transition whose reliance on scripture alone made to allow for the necessary time to adjust, them hostile to the emergence of rab- and to avoid dramatic or definitive de- binic halakha. There were the “secular cisions for which they may not yet have Zionists” (political zealots whose focus reassembled the necessary emotional was on the survival of the Jewish nation, and cognitive resources. Similarly, we and for whom religion was less central). should remind ourselves when we do There were the “spiritual seekers” (the our collective communal work of re- Essenes, early mystics, and others) for constructing Judaism that we should whom the harsh realities of the world remain cognizant of the circumstances seemed to demand a turning inward to within which we are doing that work. the life of the spirit. There were the “Jews for Jesus” (the Living Post-Trauma early followers of Jesus and of his disciples) whose messianic mindset took We are living in a time analogous them to the edges of the Jewish com- to the second century of the Com- munity, and eventually beyond them. mon Era. Several major traumas have There were the “modernists” (the Phari- occurred: the impact of modernity on sees and their disciples and descen- the Jewish people and Jewish religion; dents) who sought to balance “tradition the extension of citizenship and the and change” while innovating in the retraction of it in the heart of cultured service of adaptation. And there were Europe within a period of 100 years; subsets of each of these, and no doubt the repression of Russian Jewry and its other clusters and communities that reemergence several generations later; leaned one way or another in terms of the Shoah, of course, and the wars of theology, halakha, liturgy and a host of survival that Israel has endured. And other subjects.

• Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist Tentative Proposals clarified the issue when he said the right way to frame the question is to say “we If we can agree on anything, it might live in a post-halakhic era.” That is, we be that we have not yet been given live in an era in which the assumptions, the chance to reconstruct Judaism in communal structures, beliefs/faith and a stable and secure setting — we are attitudes towards authority that sus- working in a moment that is fluid and tained the pre-modern halakhic norms flexible. We have not yet coalesced into of a community are absent. Rabbi Hay- consensus on many fundamental issues. im Herring, executive vice-president of Given our many challenges, everything STAR (“Synagogues: Transformation we propose at this moment in terms of and Renewal”) suggests an analogy priorities (outreach v. inreach, unilin- with the term “post-industrial” — we eality v. matrilineality, spirituality v. still have industry, but our economy is ethnicity, as examples) is tentative. no longer defined by it. Applied more narrowly to the Re- What does this mean for the Re- constructionist movement, this sug- constructionist movement? The Re- gests that we are not going to use our constructionist Rabbinical Association time, energy and resources well if we (RRA) already has 275 rabbis. The try to set definitive guidelines and cre- Jewish Reconstructionist Federation ate rules. As examples: do we require (JRF) has 105 affiliated congregations. conversion for adopted children? Do we The Reconstructionist Rabbinical Col- require a get for remarriage? Are Jewish lege has graduated over 300 rabbis, and rituals appropriate for interfaith life- 75 students are currently matriculated. cycle events, or should alternatives be Ownership of Reconstructionist Juda- created? We could create commissions, ism is now a shared enterprise. We have hold conventions and craft codes that long passed the time when the writings seek to define “the Reconstructionist of the charismatic founder and the early position” on any number of issues. Or, disciples were considered definitive. on analogy to the Mishna, we could in- We now have a wide spectrum of stead (as argued above) organize issues, practice and policy within our move- arrange prior and current opinions, and ment. With rare exceptions, any “rule” reconstruct the grammar, vocabulary or “policy” we adopt is likely to be and syntax of the Jewish religious con- ignored by some percentage of rabbis versation, trusting that later generations or congregations, and our liberal predi- will generate consensus in what we can lection towards being non-judgmental hope will be more settled times. coupled with our principled preference for pluralism suggests we are unlikely to A Post-Halakhic Era coerce compliance. What then would it mean to “have a policy” on any ritual We know the vocabulary: “non- matter other than to mimic the Conser- halakhic, post-halakhic, anti-halakhic, vative movement’s ephemeral attempt quasi-halakhic.” Rabbi Jack Cohen to hold people to halakhic norms that

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • are routinely ignored? whatever those policies might be, repli- cating them in every Reconstructionist The Place of Halakha community is hardly necessary or even possible. On the other hand, on issues That said, halakha continues to affecting Jewish identity and status, we inform our entire approach to the should have a movement-wide agree- Reconstructionist conversation, and ment on, for example, “who is a Jew,” while not binding, remains a weighted one that will not leave the religious informant whose norms are generally status of children to the serendipity of presumed as a starting point. Some whatever Reconstructionist synagogue Reconstructionists (like me) operate a family happens to join. on the principle of “work within the Without an over-arching theory of boundaries of tradition when possible religious and ritual practice, we cannot and move beyond them when neces- hope to navigate the challenges we face. sary.” (I acknowledge that “possible” Here, we have something both unique and “necessary” are very subjective and uniquely-suited to contribute to terms.) Other Reconstructionists start the wider Jewish discussion. As Kaplan from the assumptions of defining the did in his time, we to ought to craft a need and then creating the response; if response to the community as we have the response correlates with tradition, it, to the time and place in which we that’s a nice bonus, but if it does not, it’s find ourselves, and to the circumstances equally fine to disregard the tradition. and challenges that we face. And our Our bumper-sticker slogan that “tradi- response needs to take into account tion has a vote but not a veto” (parallel the consequences of living in Mishna- to the Reform movement’s less-well- time. known but equally pithy “tradition gives guidance but not governance’) II. The Second Paradigm: is, like most bumper-stickers, mostly Minhag meaningless when we actually try to address a specific serious issue. Living in Mishna-time requires us This is not to suggest that we can- to identify an organizing principle or not reach consensus on any issues. set of principles through which we On some klal (general) issues, finding can undertake the reconstruction of consensus may be more crucial. On Judaism. Each of the modern Jewish some pratim (specific applications) religious movements has tried to ac- it may be less so. For example: now complish this in its own way. Before that our movement finally has its own turning to a discussion of what Recon- summer camp (Camp JRF) it becomes structionist Judaism might contribute necessary to create policies by which to this discussion, it will be helpful to the camp community, at least, will live analyze the other two non-Orthodox for its time together each summer. But approaches.

10 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist The Reform Position munal norms, the Reform approach to ritual decision making and behavior is The Reform movement, in its official incompatible with the Reconstruction- documents and publications, and in ist emphasis on community. many of the books written by its leading thinkers, has for the past quarter- The Conservative Position century increasingly been speaking the language of mitzva. And by mitzva they The Conservative approach to Jew- mean “religious commandment or ob- ish religious and ritual life is predi- ligation,” and not “a nice friendly ges- cated on the priority of the halakha. ture.” Reform Judaism (if not Reform Whatever adaptations, innovations or Jews) asserts that Jews are a covenantal adjustments to Jewish practice may be chosen community whose faithful- proposed, they can only be validated ness to God ought to be reflected in a “within the system.” While Conser- routine of religious obligations. Mitzva vative Judaism accepts the historical (“commandment”) implies a Metzaveh evolution of Judaism, and (to differing (“commander”), and for Reform Juda- degrees) that halakha is a humanly- ism, this is axiomatic. (See the 1999 influenced (perhaps even constructed) “Statement of Principles” of the CCAR system, it makes a voluntary choice to under “platforms” [http://ccarnet.org].) define its field of activity as being cir- For Reform Judaism, however, cumscribed by the norms, procedures mitzva does not, and should not, im- and precedents of the halakha. ply halakha (communal law). Because Because it insists on adherence to Reform takes as its point of departure halakha, Conservative Judaism experi- the primacy of personal autonomy, ences a well-documented gap between the choice of which mitzvot to observe folk and elite application. While it remains up to the individual. The can coerce compliance within its in- Responsa Committee of the Reform stitutions (the Schechter day schools, rabbinic association, for example, offers Camp Ramah, USCJ congregations), analysis and advice, but cannot man- the ability to influence significant date compliance. Nor are its positions numbers of individual Conservative binding on the Reform seminary or the households and create a halakhi- Reform congregational body. cally-normative population remains Because it grounds its approach to ephemeral. Faced, for example, by the Jewish practice in the supernatural as- demographic infiltration of intermar- sumptions of a commanding God and riage as well as gay/lesbian populations a chosen people, Reform ideology is into Conservative Judaism, the validity suspect for Reconstructionists in terms and viability of defining Conservative of its ability to convince contemporary Judaism as “halakhic” has recently been Jews to engage ritual practices. Because called into question even by some of it asserts the primacy of the individual its leading intellectual thinkers, who over any sense of community or com- imply that halakhic paradigms may

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 11 not be adequate for the challenges of spectrum of practice in shaping and the moment. sustaining meaningful religious communities. The Reconstructionist Minhag is the appropriate framework Alternative for living in Mishna-time: it implies the maintenance of categories of signifi- So if the paradigms of mitzva and cance, of boundaries that help define halakha do not work, what organiz- a variety of spectrums (kashrut, for ing category can perhaps embrace the example), of pluralism as a value, and reality of the Jewish community as it of “community” as a determinant in the exists at this moment in Jewish history? shaping of norms. Minhag embodies I want to suggest that the Reconstruc- Kaplan’s centrality of “peoplehood” in tionist movement needs to assert clearly contrast to halakha, which embodies that the appropriate category for living the centrality of text and text-guard- a Jewish religious life in Mishna-time is ians (rabbis [only]). In contrast to the minhag, or “custom.” mitzva-centered approach of Reform Minhag is an alternative to mitzva Judaism that embodies the centrality and halakha, and not (only) in the sense of God (and the coordinate implication that Kaplan used the term “folkways” that Judaism is a religion, not a culture), to describe Jewish ritual behaviors, such minhag locates divinity in the interac- as, for example, use of the talit, mezzuza tions and resultant responsibilities that or the observance of kashrut. Minhag emerge from a faithful community implies norms, and as a movement, we that strives to transcend individuality. can have such norms (formal and infor- Minhag evolves from the ground up. mal) that we share. Minhag allows for But like anything that grows, it needs individual choices (for example, what nurturance, sustenance and direction; level of Shabbat observance to choose) hence, there is a central and crucial role within paradigmatic imperatives (i.e., for rabbis. observing Shabbat is something that can and ought to be one among many III. The Third Paradigm: places where Jews derive spiritual mean- The Pastor-Posek Continuum ing from their tradition). To take it one step further, we can- For Reconstructionist rabbis in par- not have the much-vaunted “sense of ticular, using the category of minhag community” for which we advocate can be helpful. Our rabbinic work is without a shared sense of practice, along a spectrum of what I call “pastor- such as can emerge from affirmation of to-posek” with a pastor being someone minhag. And insofar as “the search for whose primary referent is compassion- community” is a commonly articulated ate counseling/response, and a posek imperative for Jews seeking to connect (“one who decides on matters of Jewish with their tradition, we would do well law”) being someone whose primary to consider the importance of a shared referents are the requirements and/or

12 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist expectations of Jewish tradition. At “inquiries of opportunity.” any given moment, in response to the person or people with whom we are IV. The Fourth Paradigm: dealing, we are moving back and forth Locating Authority on this continuum, trying to balance in Relationship responsiveness to the situation with responsibility to the tradition for which Minhag also helps us clarify where we are responsible. Minhag mandates a contemporary Jewish community that both be taken into account, but might locate authority. As Kaplan also suggests that individual cases may rightly noted, and as the experience of see differing accommodations, balances American Judaism in the 20th century and trade-offs between the two. clearly demonstrated, simply appealing Using the concept of minhag al- to the authority of tradition will not lows us to lean one way or another convince very many people. The Re- depending on the circumstance, and form model of mitzva locates authority also validates the variety of ways Re- in the individual. The up side of this constructionist rabbis might respond to is it validates the “right to choice” that the same situation. It also allows us to American Jews have absorbed as in- approach the same situation in different alienable. The down side is it makes the ways depending on the people involved construction of community difficult and on the circumstances. It affirms as each person’s choice (and comfort that we see pluralism and diversity level) is implicitly assumed to require as enriching, and as a value, and not validation. merely as something we will tolerate The Conservative model of halakha until a policy can be reached. perpetuates the assumption of tradi- Using minhag as an organizing tion, namely, that the rabbi is the source principle for communal conversation of authority. If Judaism is primarily a helps us to avoid the pitfalls of the legal tradition, then it makes sense that pursuit of policies over which we may experts be entrusted with it, just as we argue passionately but for which we want lawyers and judges managing civil will not have, nor would we want to law. The up side of this position is that have, consequences for non-compli- it reasonably assures that decision mak- ance. (See the discussions below on ing is well-informed and that decisions conversion and divorce as examples.) are made that are consonant with tradi- If we predicate our conversation on tion. The down side is that American the assumption that we strive for a Jews do not experience or live Judaism consensual covenantal spectrum of Jew- as a legal tradition but as a cultural-re- ish practice that still allows for choices ligious experience into which they step within that spectrum, and makes no more often at events and intervals than judgment about where on the spectrum on a daily basis. Rabbinic authority is we position ourselves, we can redefine not so much dismissed as it is invisible questions of policy so that they become and irrelevant.

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 13 The category of minhag locates who owns the policies — the rabbi or religious authority in the relationship the convert. All they do is state that fact between the individual and the com- as part of a statement of norms. They munity. In other words, norms evolve do not attempt to resolve it at this mo- out of the ongoing life of a community, ment in their history. [See http://data. as individuals interact with the com- ccarnet.org/glgerim7.html] I think that munity and as the community places is a wise approach, and would hope the expectations on the individual. “Com- Reconstructionist rabbinate heads in a munity” is a corrective to the domi- similar direction.) nance of individual autonomy, but it is also a leavening and lightening agent Towards New RRA Guidelines with regard to “the halakha.” If we adopted a “Mishna/minhag” Conversion as an Example perspective, what might, for example, new RRA guidelines on intermarriage Consider conversion as an example. and on conversion look like? Who sets the ritual requirements for In terms of conversion, I will focus conversion, the rabbi or the ger/giyoret on the case of adopted children. How (prospective convert)? Option A: “I, do we approach the issue of defining the rabbi, require mila (covenantal Jewish identity for adopted children? circumcision) and tevila (immersion in (Note the way the question is framed a mikva) in addition to limud (study).” — I am not asking “Do we require con- Option B: “Here are the norms of the version for adopted children?”) Instead tradition and community for conver- of debating whether we require conversion, including mila and tevila. Here’s sion, and if so, what rituals we require, what I recommend and why. The deci- what if we responded to this concern sion of which to use is yours.” instead? I imagine a document of the I am not suggesting we avoid striving RRA that explains the norm of conver- for a recommended procedure, or that sion for adopted children, but in terms we avoid asserting the value of con- of the larger context of “community,” forming to historical and contemporary not in terms of “the halakha requires.” consensus. But by using minhag as We understand that “identity” may be the organizing principle, we avoid the an individual choice, or in this case a necessity of coming to a conclusion in choice of the parents, but that “status” favor of articulating a consensus of pref- is the community’s evaluation/accep- erence. A consensus would, one hopes, tance of that claimed identity. Both be compelling, but not coercive. are important. (Interestingly, the Reform Central But conversion guidelines that Conference of American Rabbis, in reflect our current context should their current giyyur [conversion] guide- acknowledge the concerns that some lines, makes it clear that the members adoptive parents have raised, especially are about evenly split on the question of the perceived “penalty for infertility”

14 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist issues that are so poignant and painful full rituals of kiddushin, for intermar- for many. (Requiring conversion for riages. In constructing new guidelines adopted children because the parents on intermarriage, we could debate had been unable to conceive is expe- whether to reaffirm the 1983 position. rienced by some adoptive parents as Or we could indicate out of a Recon- punitive.) We might explain how in a structionist understanding of sancta given case, leaning towards the “pastor” the reasons why, and values behind, end of the “pastor-posek continuum” not using (some/any) Jewish sancta for we would work with a family towards intermarriage. (I leave aside the issue of a series of affirmations of identity (like what constitutes sancta — for some, it a naming) rather than a conversion to is ketuba, or the ritual formula “harei an identity. Values attached to both at/a,” for others it is the huppa or the positions could be articulated, and ritu- breaking of the glass.) We. could also als for each might even be shared, with indicate how, if rabbis want to incor- the meanings being defined differently. porate Jewish elements, other choices (See Michael Fessler’s article “Adoption could be made. And we could explain and Jewish Families: A Proposal” in The how in some cases using (some) sancta Reconstructionist, Fall 2001, and Renée of kiddushin could make sense or might Bauer’s article “‘Patrilineal Descent’ and be considered. Same-Sex Parents: New Definitions of In other words, given the fluid nature Identity” in this issue.) of the impact of intermarriage on the In other words, rather than trying Jewish community, a Mishna/minhag to arrive at a consensus on whether perspective would suggest that trying conversion is or is not required in to set rules while things are very much cases of adoption, we could construct in motion is not productive. Creating a guidelines that provide explanations, variety of approaches, and articulating rationales and rituals that could equally how each might be considered as one be elected depending on the parties and possible legitimate response to a specific particulars involved. The common con- situation, would seem to be a better use cern, to affirm Jewish identity for the of our collective time and energy as a adopted child, might be met in more movement. than one way. V. The Fifth Paradigm: The Use of Sancta “Before and After the Fact”

Another example: The 1983 RRA Another paradigm for contemporary Guidelines on Intermarriage oppose Reconstructionism should be men- the use of Jewish sancta for a wed- tioned. Rabbinic tradition (as well as ding presided over by an RRA rabbi if other traditions) often employs the both partners are not Jewish. Despite distinction between lekhathila and that, there are many RRA rabbis who b’diavad (a-priori and ex-post-facto,. or routinely use Jewish sancta, including “before the fact” and “after the fact.”)

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 15 The import of this for minhag should opportunity to work with a couple in be transparent. What might be optimal proximity to a civil divorce, we would at the outset may not be possible at a urge that a (Reconstructionist) get later stage. We might have different rec- be included as part of the work the ommendations, priorities or procedures couple does in closing the partnered depending on when we come into the stage of their relationship. Conversely, story being presented by an individual, if someone comes to us for remarriage a couple, a family or a community. ten years after a civil divorce and there This does not mean we have nothing was no get back then, we could explain to say, or nothing for which we stand. the issues involved, and assess with the It means rather that if we look at Jewish person if there would be any spiritual tradition as being a spiritual resource, or emotional value to arranging for a then the goal becomes to help people get at this later stage. If there were not, take as much advantage as possible of we could proceed with the remarriage that resource in their own lives, rather even without the get. than having the goal be compliance Similarly, we might urge converts with an abstract set of policies or re- lekhathila to include mikva (ritual im- quirements under all circumstances. mersion). as a ritual of conversion, but if we meet someone years later whose Jewish Divorce as an Example conversion did not include immersion, we would not question b’diavad If we apply this paradigm to the case the person’s Jewish identity or status. of a get (Jewish divorce), we can see The question of “what is required” gets the usefulness as well as the unique- translated into “what can be meaning- ness of what could be a Reconstruc- ful at this stage of your life?” While tionist approach to the issue. Rather some might anticipate anarchy in such than framing the question as “does an approach, my experience as a con- Reconstructionist Judaism require a gregational rabbi, and my assessment get for remarriage?” we could instead of anecdotes shared with me by many ask “under what circumstances would Reconstructionist rabbis suggests that we recommend a get as a meaningful more often than not, people are will- ritual?” The focus becomes the people ing, even eager, to take advantage of involved in the divorce, rather than the ritual and spiritual opportunities in their compliance with the requirements Judaism if presented to them as choices of halakha. While not a universal indi- rather than as requirements. cator, we could presume that in many cases, the further the interval between a VI. The Sixth Paradigm: civil divorce and when the discussion of Corridor of Consequence a get arises, the less likely it is that a get would carry significant meaning. When considering how wide a spec- Therefore, many Reconstructionist trum of choices might be optimal, we rabbis might say that if we have an should factor in what I call the “cor-

16 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist ridor of consequence.” This simply ritual practices. We don’t want to be means that the upshot of certain ritual “all things to all people,” nor do we decisions, including those that attach to want to say it makes no difference what issues of ishut (personal status) may or choices people make. We do stand for may not be of consequence beyond the the continuity of Jewish tradition and immediate situation and moment. for the preservation of its integrity, even Using divorce again as an example, while we are making changes appropri- if a couple decides to marry and each ate to our time. Towards that end, we person had a prior Jewish marriage that do need to state from time to time what ended without a get, and (the/each) our positions are. woman is past the age of childbear- But what is the question to which ing, the consequences of their second guidelines are the answer? I suggest we marriage in the absence of a get are frame the question as: minimal in terms of the wider Jewish Living in a Mishna-time/minhag community. Since a major consequence paradigm, how do we articulate the of remarriage without a get is that issues, identify norms, explain related Orthodoxy considers offspring of the values, and begin to define the posi- second marriage to be mamzerim (ille- tions along a spectrum of options that gitimate as defined by Jewish law), if no could, with equal integrity, be chosen children are anticipated in the second by Reconstructionist rabbis working in marriage, the corridor of consequence relationship with people in a specific is narrow. circumstance at the time they come Conversely, if a 30-year-old Jewish into contact with those people? woman whose prior marriage ended without a get remarries and has chil- If we adopt some form of that ques- dren, despite the fact that mamzerut is tion as a guideline, we will be on the not an issue for Reconstructionist and way to doing the sort of work the rabbis Reform Judaism, and has been ruled as of the Mishna did in a similar period inoperative by the Conservative move- of transition following trauma: orga- ment, there is at least the potential of a nizing the issues, arranging prior and problem down the line. As the corridor current opinions, and reconstructing of consequence is wider here, a longer the grammar, vocabulary and syntax look at the advisability of a get before of the Jewish religious conversation. remarriage might be in order, even if a We may then hope and trust that the get is not required. common sense and wisdom of the Jew- ish people, infused with the guidance of Reframing the Questions God/liness, and informed by the teaching and leadership of Reconstructionist As Reconstructionists, we should rabbis, will lead towards more definitive be able to say how we approach mak- positions in future generations. ing decisions about religious and

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 17 Reconstructing the Jewish Future

By Joy Levitt

n the tractate of the Mishna called the world has actually changed that Pirkei Avot (“Teachings of our much since Simeon’s time. The world I Ancestors”), Simeon the Righteous still stands on Torah, avoda, and g’milut says that the world rests on three things: hasadim,. although we may understand on Torah, on avoda (the Temple service, each of those terms in ways Simeon later understood more generally as might not recognize. “worship” or “prayer”) and on g’milut hasadim. (acts of loving-kindness) Prior Perspectives (Pirkei Avot 1:2). The teachers in Pirkei Avot love First, a few caveats. The institution I lists. This first chapter opens with work in, the Jewish Community Center three such sets, and lists are a running in Manhattan, is precisely non-elitist. theme throughout the tractate. Lists Our mission is to offer multiple path- are charming and easy to remember, ways into Jewish life without prejudice, which may be the point, but they are judgment or pressure. We do not even also enormously useful, because they ask if someone is Jewish. We just make suggest a beginning, a middle and an it clear that the mission of the institu- end — a finite set of tasks that, when tion is to help bring people into Jewish accomplished, yields a sense of satis- life in all its diversity. We are, in this faction. Anyone who has finished the way, decidedly not a synagogue. We are day with a fully crossed-out “to-do” list less about who is in than who is out, knows this. and how to help those who are out walk I want to suggest that what Simeon through one or more of the variety of had in mind when he created his list doors we have created. So what I have was to give us a way out of our norma- to say about Torah, avoda and g’milut

tive sense that the world and its tasks are hasadim. derives from that place, both overwhelming. No, says Simeon, they tangibly and spiritually. are not overwhelming. It is all Torah, Second, my remarks are colored by

avoda and g’milut hasadim;. the rest is a certain perspective. My grandfather commentary. threw his tallis overboard into New I chose this text because when we York harbor right before he landed at think about reconstructing the Jewish Ellis Island, but his grandchildren and future it is useful to narrow the playing great-grandchildren have retrieved field, particularly because I do not think it. My Jewish world is richer, more Rabbi Joy Levitt is the Associate Executive Director for Programming of the Jewish Community Center in Manhattan.

18 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist interesting, more full of possibilities and more elusive. It’s everywhere — than his ever was, trapped as he was in TV, the Web, radio, classes, seminars, the economic (and I dare say spiritual) workshops; Torah is everywhere. But wasteland of a Polish shtetl. He did not we are still plagued by an astonishingly eat lobster until he was 20 years old, low standard of pedagogy in afternoon and he could read a blat gemarra upside Hebrew schools, day schools and down, but he would tell you it meant adult-education programs. The Jews nothing compared to the yearning for of the Upper West Side are blessed to a life of freedom. When he finally got be living in a neighborhood with more here, it was Judaism that he shed along good teachers of Judaism per square with Poland. So whatever is going on inch than anywhere in the world, and in this great and free country we now I include Jerusalem. If they leave this call home, I will not argue that my little shtetl they often land in a Jewish grandfather or even his grandfather wasteland that has no excuse. We have was a better Jew than am I. I do not too often settled for a mediocre educa- long for the shtetl. I do not think that tion for ourselves and our children, and Judaism was meant to thrive in an op- we did not have to. pressive intentional community where Our poorly supported afternoon everyone knew what you were doing, synagogue schools disappoint and often and cared as well. That is not to say that even oppress children. We do not hit some of the substance of Jewish life has our kids, as my grandfather remem- not been lost in the succession of the bered being hit in heder. . But sometimes generations, but I prefer to look ahead we just bore them, numbing their imag- and not behind. inations, communicating that Judaism is to be endured, not enjoyed. It is way Teaching Torah past time to acknowledge that Hebrew school does not work (and never will) We begin with the first item on and the alternative is not necessarily day Simeon’s list — Torah. For my grand- school, at least not for the majority of father, it meant leaving his home to go Jewish children. Models of Jewish edu- to a bad heder. fifty miles away, then cation that separate children from fami- learning all day long with a bad teacher lies are hopeless, particularly when the who abused his students. On his 80th families (parents) are in need of similar birthday, I bought him a tractate of education. Judaism is not algebra; you the Talmud and, though his wife was cannot hire a tutor to transmit a culture thoroughly disgusted at this old-world you yourself do not know or live. gift, he could still remember much of it by heart and translate it. This was more What Torah Has to Offer than I could do then. For the thousands of people who What we actually have to offer is an walk through the doors of the JCC, extraordinarily rich array of texts and Torah has never been more accessible traditions that can help guide our kids

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 19 as they hit bumps in the road, that can back. We need to do a better job of celebrate the sense of gratitude they helping them do just that. will hopefully feel at peak moments in their lives, and that can provide mean- Connecting to Real Life ing and context and beauty and a sense of connection and community in an A Torah for the 21st century will be often lonely and difficult world. What a Torah of the marketplace. Just as the we often give them is a language they Torah used to be read on Mondays and never learn to speak, read with fluency Thursdays in the public square because or understand. Prayers have often been that was where the people were, this drummed into their heads, but the abil- Torah will need to meet people in the ity actually to pray, actually to express busy-ness of their lives. It will need to hope or thanks or need has been sadly be much better taught, yes, but it will neglected. also need to be easy to get to, easier to A Torah for the 21st century will afford and wide open in its pluralism need to get much more serious about and inclusiveness. It will need to judge family-based learning and start with less and welcome more; it will need to many more resources for Jewish educa- care less about who than what, and less tion. Letty Cotton Pogrebin once wrote about what than why. It will need to that Hebrew schools will get better only stop making assumptions about what when we parents hope that our children people want and need and start listen- grow up to be Hebrew school teachers. ing to what people say and do not say. Until and unless we develop a radically It will need to meet people where they different model for the transmission of are, giving them resources to explore tradition and culture to our children the issues they confront daily. — a model that is substantial and seri- We should know what Judaism has ous and fun and interesting and values- to say about gossip, because we do it based and integrated into a family’s every day, and we both love it and wish life-cycle — we will have squandered we didn’t love it so much. We should the freedom that my grandfather so know what Judaism says about money, cherished. because we think about it a lot of the What is true for our kids is equally time, and we might be helped by a true for ourselves.It is shocking to me perspective that is larger than our own how many Jews carry around resent- and different from the material culture ment and embarrassment about their in which we live. We should know what lack of knowledge about Jewish tradi- Judaism says about the end of life, be- tion. It keeps them out of synagogues cause what it teaches is extraordinarily and study halls; it keeps them away wise and might actually give us some from communities that could nourish peace as we face death with a loved one their souls. They will go to therapy to or by ourselves. resolve problems, but they cannot seem We love Torah because it makes us to get this particular monkey off their think beyond the scope of our narrow

20 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist existence. It puts our life into a context, been obscured for my grandfather by connects us back thousands of years poverty and disappointment. I need and ahead thousands more. We study to express gratitude; I need to express so that we can study more, because hope; I need, even, to express despair. I there is wisdom in the answers and do not want conversation; I want, as the more wisdom in the questions — but mystics would put it, to have my heart also because the process itself ennobles broken so that it might be repaired and us. It makes us kinder, more generous renewed. people. It helps us organize our time I need to remind myself every now so we are less wasteful, and expands and again that without me the sun does our horizons so we use time in more rise in the east and set in the west, that meaningful ways. Any Torah for the I am not, in fact, the center of the uni- 21st century will need to be able to use verse. I feel, on good days, that there everything we know about marketing is a power built into the universe that and communication to make this pro- enables me to do the right thing instead cess accessible to everyone who wants of the wrong thing — that, indeed, I it and to help people understand that have that choice and can act upon it. they need it. On bad days, I can acknowledge that I have missed the mark and move beyond Repairing and Renewing my sense of failure. I need to wake up every morning, as the prayer says, with The second on Simeon’s list is avoda. a pure heart, and I need to say so even When my grandfather threw his tallis on the days when I do not believe it, so overboard he thought he was shedding that I will be able to say it on the days the burden of a God who disappoints, when I do. who does not hear prayer, and who kills innocent children and allows others Becoming Serious to starve. Faced with the alternative about Prayer of his naïve and childlike concept of God or the God of America—freedom, We liberal Jews have made some- individuality, success, opportunity thing of a mess of prayer. We have — his choice was simple, and he never complicated it and badly edited it and looked back. refused, on some level, to take it seri- Not so simple for his granddaugh- ously, because we are so busy thinking ter. As the beneficiary of his success, I we are taking it seriously. As the famous never had to choose between warring story goes, we don’t come to services to Gods. But in eliminating the need for talk to God, as Yankl does, but to talk basic survival — it now being possible to Yankl. Nothing wrong with talking for me not to worry about my next to Yankl; that’s what community is. But meal or the roof over my head or how prayer is something different. Prayer to pay for a doctor, should I need one is an opportunity to take us out of — I now face in bold relief what had ourselves and the everydayness of our

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 21 lives. It is a chance, as Sylvia Boorstein cry silently. I began to realize that while put it in a different context, not to do I had not lost my children, someone something but to sit there. else had and it was unspeakably sad. I I once convinced Fred, a congregant felt embraced by a room full of strang- who was dying, to go to a healing ser- ers who had no idea of my pain but vice. Truth be told, I had no idea what somehow held it. And I realized that the a healing service was but I had nothing value of the service was that it simply else to offer him, and he took me up on allowed people to sit with their pain, it. We were going to meet in the city be it physical, spiritual or emotional, at the service because I had a funeral without anyone telling them not to that day in Westchester for premature feel bad, without anyone telling them baby twins. I had spent the day before to look on the bright side and without arguing with the funeral director be- anyone telling them anything but that cause he had insisted on two caskets hope is built into the universe and there when the parents wanted one, feeling can be healing even when there cannot somehow consoled by the image of the be cure. babies being together. I had had to play Had I not gone to that service, I hardball, threatening the funeral direc- would have taken my unacknowledged tor. It is an ironic thing that sometimes feelings and shoved them down deep a rabbi’s finest moments are lived in where they would join all the rest of my someone else’s pain. I think I was very pain, continuing to weigh me down, helpful, if such a thing is possible. I little by little. Instead, I left feeling felt good about what I had managed more aware of my sadness and strangely to do for the parents. I was flattered lighter as a result. by their gratitude and disconnected on some level from the overwhelming Awake, Aware, Connected awfulness of what I was actually doing. I got in the car and drove to the city to That is what prayer should do. It meet Fred. I, super rabbi, was about to should make us more awake, more strike again. aware, more connected to the disparate I sat down next to him, hoping I parts of ourselves and the larger world might fall asleep without being too around us. Instead, most people avoid obvious. But with my cynical defenses communal prayer like the plague, at- down, I was swept away by the music tending synagogue only when they and the words. They did not speak absolutely have to and then feeling of death or pain or illness — healing entirely alienated. There are no easy services rarely do. Frankly, I don’t re- answers here. Prayer is a little like member what the words were. Perhaps exercise—you can’t expect to get the the very unfamiliarity of the liturgical benefits if you do it only once in a structure captured my attention. I was while. But unlike exercise, in whose suddenly aware that I had buried two efficacy most of us believe, few of children a few hours before. I began to us are convinced that routine prayer

22 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist yields results. Maybe it’s because we another and to what is going on, while carry around immature expectations respecting the place from which each of what those results might look like. person has come. Maybe it’s because the structures that have evolved over time simply don’t Connected and Disconnected work anymore. Clearly we have done a poor job of I recently taught a parenting class talking to children about prayer. Com- at the JCC on how to think about the munities that want to teach prayer to family’s religious life. There were 20 children generally are more concerned people in the class, half of whom were with getting the words right than with expecting a child for the first time. helping kids reach down deep into their When I suggested that they might want considerable souls and express what to attend services at various synagogues they feel. We communicate our own to see where they felt comfortable, one ambivalence when we make services feel woman raised her hand to ask whether like an obligation, a place where chil- it was okay to attend a Friday night or dren need to sit still and not talk and Saturday morning service if you weren’t read a language they can’t understand. a member. There wasn’t a person in the How can that not feel like school? A room who knew that you could walk 21st century Judaism will need to into a synagogue any Saturday morn- care about children’s spiritual needs ing regardless of affiliation. The gap and try to respond to them without between the connected and the discon- ambivalence. nected is growing, and will only narrow This Judaism will need to think more if those of us on the inside start to care about prayer than it has in the past, and about those whose faces are pressing up it will need to struggle better and more against the glass. effectively with the tension between the Creating a community of people tradition and the contemporary mo- who are comfortable with the tradition- ment. Services, at least for those curi- al liturgy but also able to experiment in ous but alienated folks who tentatively order to meet the needs of an evolving enter the doors of the synagogue, will Jewish civilization is the particular chal- need to be shorter and more joyful; they lenge of Reconstructionist synagogues. will need to be more contemplative But the solution is not simple, and and more open to the stranger. They there are no magic answers except to will need to do all of this while still remain open to all the possibilities. It remaining rooted in the tradition and may very well be that in order to reach being serious about what is being done. the curious seeker, some of us will have And congregations that care about the to give up some measure of comfort in curious and the alienated — and not the liturgy to which we have grown ac- all do and perhaps not all must — will customed and have come to enjoy. understand the importance of welcom- A 21st century Judaism will have ing people and connecting them to one to do more than rescue the tallis from

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 23 the bottom of the harbor. It will have its grand sense. I even used to create to do more than restore the tallis or fantasies in my head in which I was the even make a new one. It will need to hero in some desperate scenario. My convince the wearer that in wrapping a very favorite was finding missing chil- tallis around your body, you are wrap- dren. I used to fantasize that somehow I ping yourself in the web of an extraor- found a child who had been kidnapped dinary tradition and an extraordinary and was able to return him to his family. people. When the wearer feels that, and What an act of loving-kindness! How I feels a connection above and beyond had repaired the world! himself or herself, then we will have Interestingly, the first time the term saved prayer for ourselves no less than tikkun olam (repair of the world), for our children. surfaces in rabbinic literature, it is in relation to how a get (Jewish divorce) Moving Beyond the Self is delivered. The Gemarra is quite concerned about the way a divorce is And finally, the last item on Simeon’s delivered: Anything that is humiliating list: g’milut hasadim. — acts of loving- or confusing needs to be avoided mipnei kindness. This is the area that needs tikkun ha-olam — for the sake of the perhaps the least reconstruction. The stability of the social order. Far from the g’milut hesed. of my grandfather’s shtetl grand ideas we have since appropriated looks remarkably similar to what we regarding the repair of the world, the need to practice today. Visit the sick; Talmud saw repair in everyday acts of welcome the stranger; feed the poor; kindness, in the simple ways in which help those in need. I find it striking we treat one another. While you’re that Simeon placed it third on his list. I waiting for the opportunity to rescue read that to mean two things. First, that a child or bring about world peace, Torah and avoda are important prereq- it would be a good idea not to cut uisites to g’milut hesed. , that we become someone off when you’re driving on inclined to deeds of loving-kindness the expressway. through our study and through our prayer. We understand what is expected Cultivating Awareness of us, not only through experience, but through learning, and we summon the A 21st century Judaism widens the resources to move beyond our self inter- markers of Jewishness to include the est through prayer. And, second, that way we treat one another as being no Torah and avoda alone are insufficient less significant than any other halakhic in sustaining the world. There is no category. It means, to borrow from world without action; there is no pur- the title of Michael Strassfeld’s recent pose to learning and praying if they do book, “embracing Judaism as a spiritual not ultimately lead to acts of goodness practice” so that we might learn how to in the universe. cultivate a heart that is open and gen- I used to understand g’milut hesed. in erous. Such things don’t just happen

24 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist because we want them to. They happen we really want to be. when we develop an awareness that first started with Simeon — that the Living in the Present very stability of the world is depends upon my ability to let you finish your For thousands of years, Jews have sentence without interrupting you. It lived in the past and in the future. depends upon your ability to make very We have recalled the past — in fact, sure that in any discussion you are hav- memory is a commandment — in all ing — whether it’s in a Torah discussion its pain and glory. We have longed for or at a board meeting or in a conversa- the future when all will be right with tion with a stranger — that you avoid the world. We have, until now, avoided embarrassing that person at all costs. the present, because the present was not The stability of the world actually always so nice. But America has, for depends upon whether we construct a the most part, changed all that. The life in which acts of loving-kindness are present is actually a wonderful thing. woven into the fabric of our day. And we need to start learning how to Unless synagogues and community live in it. centers and schools become places that And when we live this way and call help people construct such lives, places it Judaism, we will be able to stop wor- that understand that people really want rying about the future of the Jewish to live lives of g’milut hesed. , they will people. When our Torah is inclusive continue to attract only people who are and expansive and welcoming, when otherwise predisposed. And I suspect our prayer is serious and created in the number of those will diminish over such a way as to be helpful, when our time. What we ought to expect from everyday behavior is generous and kind our Jewish institutions is that, on some and openhearted, the future will take very deep level, they help us build our care of itself. And in the meantime, our character — they help us be the people lives will be filled with purpose.

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 25 “Patrilineal Descent” and Same-Sex Parents: New Definitions of Identity

By Renee Bauer

hen the Reconstructionist donor. The couple has a Jewish home (1968/79) and Reform and has been living an active Jewish life W (1983) movements ad- together for years. The decision to raise opted their resolutions affirming “patri- their child as a Jew was an easy one, lineal descent,” the frame of reference despite the fact that Kate is not Jew- was exclusively heterosexual. When ish. Kate has thought about converting examined in light of the welcoming of but has decided that it would be too same-sex couples into the progressive painful for her Catholic mother. She Jewish community, the failure of those has worked hard to create a loving and resolutions to address the circumstances open relationship with her mother since of such couples becomes evident. This she came out as a lesbian and thinks essay examines how new understand- that becoming Jewish would ruin the ings of “identity,” of “family” and of progress she has made. “parents” necessitates a rethinking of Ruth and Kate had originally made the “patrilineal” positions. an appointment with their rabbi to discuss a welcoming/brit ceremony they The Situation were planning for their baby. However, a few days before the appointment, a Ruth and Kate are active members larger issue arose. A friend of theirs of their local Reconstructionist syna- told them that their baby would not gogue, where they celebrated their wed- be Jewish because Kate is not Jewish. ding three years ago. Ruth is Jewish and They were surprised and hurt when Kate is not. The couple comes to see they heard this and want to know the rabbi to discuss the arrival of their what their rabbi thinks. They have two first child. Kate is five months pregnant questions: Will the baby be Jewish at and the couple is overjoyed that their the time of its birth? Must the baby go dream to have children together is com- through a conversion ritual in addition ing true. The child was conceived with to a brit/welcoming ceremony to be sperm from an anonymous, non-Jewish considered Jewish?

Renée Bauer is the rabbi of Congregation Mayim Rabim in Minneapolis, Min- nesota.

26 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist Ruth’s Position The pain Ruth has felt in secular society heightens her feelings of anger Ruth is defensive and hurt when and sense of being threatened when she comes to talk to the rabbi. She ex- she learns that Jewish community may plains that the process of having a child question the identity of her child. She has been more difficult than she had had assumed that her baby will be anticipated because the larger society recognized as a Jew because s/he will does not recognize her as a soon-to-be have a Jewish mother: her. For Ruth, parent. She has been learning about the requiring conversion is a message that procedures for second parent adoption, the Jewish community does not see her and is angry that the courts will require as a parent of the child. It is equivalent that a social worker visit her and Kate to in her eyes to the civil courts requiring deem whether they have an appropriate adoption. It would tell her that her home for an adoption. She perceives family needs to be sanctioned in a way these laws as homophobic and they that is not required for heterosexual infuriate her. families. Ruth tells the rabbi that she is She says to the rabbi, “Any straight dedicated to living a Jewish life and has woman can get knocked up without created a Jewish home with her partner giving it a second thought and every- despite the fact that many parts of the one considers her a mother. Kate and Jewish community will not accept their I have been talking for years about family. She has always felt validated and having children and how we want to welcomed as a lesbian at this synagogue raise them. But I need the courts to and assumes her rabbi will agree with sanction my family.” The language of her point of view. adoption seems wrong to her. She is not “adopting” someone else’s child. Kate’s Position She and her partner have created this baby together. Kate is less angry than Ruth. She has She heard about a lesbian couple in made a commitment to raise their child San Francisco that received an edict as a Jew and is concerned that things be from a judge that made the non-birth done correctly to assure that the child mother a legal parent before the baby is acknowledged as a Jew. She does not was born. She knows that the courts want her decision not to convert to be in Pennsylvania would not grant this an obstacle for her child. Yet she is also ruling, but she wishes they would. very protective of Ruth and of her status Such a ruling would acknowledge as the baby’s second parent. She is clear that the baby was hers from the time that the baby she is carrying is just as of conception, and recognize that the much Ruth’s child as it is hers, and she intentionality of the couple from the is sensitive about any implication that beginning has been that both women this is not the case. Kate tells the rabbi will be equal parents of the child that that even though civil law views her as Kate is carrying. a single mother having a baby out of

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 27 wedlock she does not perceive it this the halakhic understanding of who is way at all. She would not have gotten born a Jew, and who requires conver- pregnant had she not been in a com- sion Reconstructionist communities mitted relationship with Ruth. Kate acknowledge the validity of same-sex has witnessed the tension that can arise families yet these families are invisible in lesbian couples who have children in halakha. Therefore, trying to recon- when the non-birth mother feels inse- cile the range of contemporary under- cure about her status as parent. She and standings of family with the traditional Ruth have been discussing these issues Jewish notion of family is difficult. in depth and are trying to assure that For liberal rabbis, personal status they do not have this experience. questions (of which this case is one) are often the most complex and trouble- Ruth’s Parents some questions they face. The issue of whether this baby will be considered Ruth explains that her parents see Jewish at birth is a question of status this baby as their grandchild. After and not of identity. Status is decided Ruth and Kate’s wedding, Ruth had by the community and not by the many conversations with her parents individual. Furthermore, it presents a about her intention to have a family. binary choice. Either a person is Jewish It took some time and processing for or is not Jewish. There is no in-between her parents to understand that when when it comes to status within a given she and Kate had a child, regardless of Jewish community. who bore the child, it would be their Identity, however, is self-determined grandchild. The fact that they have and can be fluid. One can identify Jew- embraced this future child as their own ishly in different ways and to different is, for Ruth, the final step in their full degrees throughout one’s lifetime. Be- acceptance of her lesbian identity and ing raised with a Jewish education in her partnership. Ruth explains to the a Jewish home could result in a child rabbi that she does not know how she having a strong Jewish identity. But could explain to her parents that the without either having Jewish parents baby must be converted without under- (or at least one Jewish parent, female mining her hard work to have them see by tradition, male or female according this baby as their grandchild. to the patrilineal policies) or a conversion, the child would not have Jewish The Rabbi Responds status. Lay people in the liberal Jewish world often focus primarily on Jewish This is a complicated issue for a identity, but rabbis must consider issues rabbi to respond to, because certain of status as well as of identity. What primary values are in conflict. The is difficult for the rabbi is that while Reconstructionist value of creating in- she certainly needs to act in a pastoral clusive communities and embracing way, the couple wants a specific answer gay and lesbian Jews is in tension with about the status of their child. The

28 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist rabbi is therefore required to function and Kate’s baby should be treated the more in the role of a posek (decisor) same as the case of an adopted child be- than a pastor. cause both the baby’s biological mother and biological father are not Jewish. Is This Adoption? Kate and Ruth’s baby would need to undergo conversion to be considered a To determine how to respond to Jew under Jewish law. this case, the rabbi would need to look The idea that adopted babies need to for precedents in traditional Jewish undergo conversion has troubled many sources as well as in Reconstructionist couples who adopt and is also a matter understandings of identity, status and of concern to some Reconstruction- lineality. First it must be determined ist rabbis who, while respecting the into which (if any) traditional category traditional requirement of conversion this baby fits, since traditionally there for adopted children, are sympathetic is no category for a child born to two to and want to respect the affirmation mothers. The case that would seem of some adoptive parents that bringing most closely to match the situation of the child into their Jewish family estab- Ruth and Kate’s baby would be that of lishes the child’s Jewish identity without an adopted child. The United States conversion. Many such adoptive par- legal system has used the adoption ents feel that the Jewish community is statutes to determine the rights of the questioning whether their child is really non-birth parent in a same-gender part of the new adoptive family. Similar couple. Adoption in civil and Jewish to Ruth, adoptive parents can fear that law is a classification for children who they will not be recognized as the real are parented by an adult who is not bio- parents of the new baby. Additionally, logically related to them. Ruth indeed they often struggle emotionally as they will be parenting a child to whom she go through the adoption process. is not genetically related, so looking for halakhic and contemporary discussions Adoption as Conversion around adoption to determine how to respond to this case would be logical. Rabbi Michael Fessler suggests one So we need to look at how Jewish way of addressing the adoptive parents’ law defines adoption. Rabbi Isaac Klein painful feelings while still remaining succinctly explains the halakha when loyal to the halakhic requirement for he writes, “In Jewish tradition . . . ties conversion. He transvalues the conver- of blood and kinship can neither be sion ritual and makes it into an adop- destroyed nor created. Therefore, an tion ceremony.3 Since Ruth and Kate’s adopted child has the same status as his baby is seen by halakha as an adopted natural father.”1 And “[if] the [natural] baby it is appropriate to consider using mother is not Jewish . . . the child is re- the rituals associated with conversion quired to undergo conversion.”2 Thus, for them because they have the poten- according to halakha the case of Ruth tial to address the couple’s emotional

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 29 concerns while solving their halakhic whether adoption is the correct para- problem. digm to use to decide upon the status Yet, although the case of adoptive of Kate and Ruth’s future child. parents and the case of lesbian mothers have many similarities, this new Civil Law Positions ritual does not satisfy the unique issues in this particular scenario. The new The civil legal understanding of understanding Fessler places on the cer- adoption differs from the halakhic emony that includes immersion, bet din understanding and casts further doubt and circumcision is that the ceremony about viewing Ruth and Kate’s family in “would focus on welcoming the child the same category as an adoptive family. into his or her new family and effect- Explaining New York’s state adoption ing a change of status of a different law, Rabbi Klein writes: kind: Jewish adoption as the transfer of lineage, such that the adoptive parents Though adoption is a legal fiction are considered the real parents.”4 The whereby a person who is a member problem with applying this idea to the of one family becomes a member lesbian family is that there is no trans- of another family, in classical law, fer from one family to another. There in the laws of the West today, the is an intact family that has decided to fiction became a fact, and “an conceive a child together. Therefore, adopted child assumes towards the proposed adoption ritual cannot be adoptive parents the status of a used for Ruth and Kate’s child. natural child, and assumes towards There are important spiritual needs natural parents the status of a that are met by Rabbi Fessler’s ritual. stranger so far as legal obligations There is often a compelling need for are concerned, and adoptive par- adoptive parents to ritualize the inclu- ents become clothed in law with sion of an adoptive child into their fam- responsibilities of natural parents” ily. It is true that adopting a child, even (New York State Domestic Rela- an infant, is different from birthing a tions Law, #110, in McKinney, child. Pregnancy and birth are power- Consolidated Laws of New York, ful experiences that prepare people to bk 14, 255).5 be parents and connect them to the child in a way that the adoption process According to this civil description of normally does not. It can be helpful to adoption, Ruth and Kate’s baby is not mark this difference without giving it an adopted child. The baby is not leav- lower value. However, this is not rel- ing one family to become part of a new evant for Ruth and Kate because they one. The other natural parent, besides are experiencing pregnancy and birth Kate, is the sperm donor. The sperm together. They are not incorporating donor is not even aware that his sperm someone else’s child into their family has led to conception. He is certainly and therefore it must be questioned not “another family.” He gave up his

30 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist legal rights to any future child when he raise their child with a Jewish education donated at the sperm bank. The baby, and the appropriate Jewish lifecycle since conception, has been part of Ruth rituals. The question here is whether the and Kate’s family. It therefore seems case of lesbian mothers where one part- misguided that the United States legal ner is not Jewish can be included under system classifies same-gender families as these resolutions. When the (Reform) adoptive families. Because the Recon- Central Conference of American Rabbis structionist movement is committed resolution states that “the child of one to embracing gays and lesbians and Jewish parent is under the presumption supporting their full legal equality in of Jewish descent,”7 or when the Re- civil society, Reconstructionist rabbis constructionist Rabbinical Association’s are challenged to question these civil “Guidelines on Conversion” state, “If definitions of family, because they do one parent is Jewish, either mother or not mirror the movement’s embrace of father, the offspring is to be regarded as same-sex families. With the emergence Jewish . . . no special conversion proce- of new family structures new legal dure is required,”8 are these statements classifications, both civil and Jewish, concerned strictly with biology? must be created in order to make fair When these positions were adopted, decisions. same-sex parents were not in the minds of the rabbis who were voting. The as- Resolutions on sumption was that “a child born to one Patrilineal Descent Jewish parent” meant that she or he had a biological parent who was Jewish. The models of adoption, traditional The question now, nearly three decades and contemporary, are not the right after these documents were written, is models from which to make the decision whether these resolutions can apply to about the status of Ruth and Kate’s baby. the increasing number of same-gender Another framework must be examined. couples in our communities that are The Reform and Reconstructionist having children. The difference be- resolutions on ambilineal6 descent, tween these families and heterosexual commonly referred to as “patrilineal families is that one parent is not related descent,” may apply to this case. These biologically to the baby. Thus, we must resolutions address the status of chil- ask whether the case of Ruth and Kate dren with one Jewish parent. Accord- would be different if the sperm donor ing to halakha only children who are was Jewish, and whether the sperm born of a Jewish mother are considered donor is a “parent” of the child. Jewish. But both the Reform and Re- constructionist movements have agreed Reconstructing Models to recognize as a Jew any child who is of “Descent” born to one Jewish parent and who is identified and raised as a Jew. It seems that the child born to a Ruth and Kate are clear that they will same-sex couple, in which only one

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 31 partner is Jewish and in which the not given to the baby. couple decided and acted on having the This analogy has its problems. For child together, indeed has “one Jewish example, most lesbian mothers do not parent.” There is a strong tradition of want to be seen as fathers. Also, dis- Jewish identity being passed biological- counting the importance of the sperm ly, but as the nature of how some babies donor can be seen as devaluing the are conceived changes, the question of role of the biological father in the how Jewish descent is passed on needs birth of their children. Despite these to be reconsidered. Making the genet- dangers, the comparison is helpful in ics of the anonymous sperm donor the determining into what legal category determinative factor in Jewish descent the non-birth mother fits. It helps to would place “Jewish descent” entirely clarify how children that are conceived in the realm of genetics. Jewish identity by same-sex couples are not the same as by way of “descent” should be expanded adoptive children. They have their own to include the children of either parent unique identity issues that are different who causes the child to be conceived, from those of adopted children. The regardless of whether that parent is spirit and/or intent of the ambilineal- genetically related. ity positions can be used to decide the The way in which the Hebrew lan- status of these children. guage describes birth can help dem- Dr. Bethamie Horowitz, in her re- onstrate why a non-birth mother can port to the Commission on Jewish be likened to a biological father. The Identity and Renewal of the UJA- Hebrew root y-l-d creates the verbs for Federation of New York, teaches that birthing. This root is only used in the in our multicultural contemporary kal (active) form when describing the world it is more useful to view a action of the mother who physically person’s “Jewish identity as necessarily gives birth to the child. The hifil form, linked to that individual’s experience “to cause to birth,” is used to describe over time.”9 People form their Jewish the actions of both a father and of a identity through the experiences they midwife. In different ways, a father or live through over the course of their midwife “cause the baby to be born,” lives and they create a narrative of their but neither literally births the child. Jewish lives based on their experiences. Similarly, the hifil form can thus de- Accordingly, rabbis must be sensitive scribe what the non-birth mother in in handling lifecycle moments because a lesbian couple does. Although in a these events stand out in people’s nar- different way than either a father or a ratives. midwife, she also “causes the baby to be born.” She participates in the insemi- A Resolution nation of her partner and she supports her partner through the pregnancy. The lineality positions of both the The major difference between her and Reconstructionist and Reform move- a biological father is that her genes are ments are in need of clarification, and

32 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist not only with regard to being inclusive they must be aware of this phenomenon of same-sex parents. But in terms of when they make their decisions. For that specific concern, and based on the example, Kate and Ruth’s narrative of above analysis of Ruth and Kate’s situ- their Jewish journey and their baby’s ation, an inclusive emendation to the future story will be shaped by how the Reform and Reconstructionist lineality rabbi decides their case. It is important positions would be to have them read that the narrative be one of acceptance. “A child born of or to a couple, one of In a world that questions the validity of whom is Jewish. . . .” same-sex families, the Jewish commu- In light of that reframing, and nity should be a beacon of validation. through this process of careful consid- We can do this by affirming the truth eration, it should be concluded that not of the blood relations of the fam- even in the absence of the proposed ily but of the intentionality behind the rewording, the current ambilineality creation of the child. decisions of the CCAR and the RRA should govern Ruth and Kate’s case and therefore their baby will not need to undergo conversion to have status 1. Isaac Klein, A Guide to Jewish Religious as a Jew. Because the baby is being Practice (New York: Jewish Theological born to one Jewish parent, Reform and Seminary, KTAV, 1992), 436. Reconstructionist communities should 2. Ibid., 437. recognize the baby as a Jew at the time 3. Michael Fessler, “Adoption and Jewish of his/her birth. Families: A Proposal, ” The Reconstruction- ist, Fall 2001. Ruth and Kate will need to know 4. Ibid., 58. that this decision would challenge 5. Klein, op. cit., 436. some people in the liberal Jewish world 6. “. . . often mislabeled ‘patrilineal,’ which because it redefines what it means to be would imply that only Jewish fathers and “born a Jew.” In the Conservative and not mothers convey Jewish status to off- Orthodox worlds the child would not spring. This may have been the case in the be seen as a Jew, so the couple would biblical period, but does not accurately need to decide if they wanted to go describe the liberal movements’ current through conversion for this reason. position.” Fessler, op. cit., 59. But the rabbi should be reiterate that 7. Walter Jacob, ed., CCAR Responsa #38 the child will be fully recognized as a in Contemporary American Reform Responsa Jew in Ruth and Kate’s congregational (New York: CCAR Press). 8. From RRA Guidlines on Conversion, as community. quoted in Jacob Staub, “A Reconstruction- Rabbis should not decide status is- ist View on Patrilineal Descent,” Judaism, sues solely on the basis of how the lay #133, 34:1, Winter 1985, 98. person will respond and how it will 9. Bethamie Horowitz, Connections and affect her/his personal Jewish story, but Journeys: Assessing Critical Opportunities for Enhancing Jewish Identity, UJA-Federation

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 33 From “Two Civilizations” to Multiple Identities

By Susan P. Schein

n many ways, Jeun Benjamin Smith in Seattle to find out what would be in- is a typical 12-year-old American volved in ritually welcoming baby Jeun Iboy: he plays basketball, loves into the family. Since the baby was still watches re-runs of The Simpsons, and relatively young, the rabbi suggested always needs to be reminded that it’s his brit mila, but the parents were am- turn to set the table. But, in other ways, bivalent. Instead, the rabbi performed Jeun is unique: he is Korean by birth, a conversion that involved t’vila (im- was adopted into an interfaith home, mersion) in a local stream (witnessed and is Jewish by conversion. by a bet din comprised of the rabbi and Sarah’s two Jewish friends from child- Conferring of Jewish Identity hood) and a baby-naming ceremony in the couple’s backyard. Leesa’s conver- Jeun’s mother, Sarah Levi, was born sion and baby-naming were essentially into a traditional Jewish home. When identical. As Jeun and Leesa grew up, she and Tony Smith were married, Tony the family lit Shabbos candles together agreed to raise their children according most Friday nights and visited Sarah’s to Jewish custom even though he was parents in Chicago to celebrate Passover born a Catholic (now “recovering,” and Hanukkah. as he puts it) and had no intention When Tony’s job transferred the of converting to Judaism. After four family to the Philadelphia suburbs five years of marriage, the latter two of years ago, the Levi-Smiths finally had which involved fertility treatments, an opportunity to participate in Jew- the couple decided to pursue adoption. ish communal life. They immediately The following year, 10 month-old Jeun joined Reconstructionist Congregation arrived from Korea and became the Beth Am, and, at ages 7 and 4, respec- center of Sarah and Tony’s life in West tively, Jeun and Leesa were enrolled in Podunk, Washington. Three years later, the twice- weekly religious school. Beth the family adopted a baby girl, Leesa, Am’s student body was comprised of also from Korea. children from diverse ethnic and racial After the initial excitement of bring- backgrounds. Both Jeun and Lisa got ing their new son home, Sarah and along well with their new Jewish peers Tony contacted a Reform rabbi nearby and enjoyed the Jewish curriculum.

Susan P. Schein is the assistant rabbi of Congregation Kol Emet in Yardley, Penn- sylvania.

34 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist Questioning Identity? so he never has questioned his status as a Jew. The idea of becoming bar mitzva It is now just over a year away from had always seemed “kinda cool” to him, Jeun becoming bar mitzva. Although even though it’s supposed to be a lot he still regularly attends Beth Am’s reli- of work; but, when he heard that this gious school, Jeun often puts up a fight other kid needed to be circumcised in about going. He much prefers to spend order to become bar mitzva, Jeun no time with his Korean-American friends longer was interested. Not only did it from public school. A week before he seem weird (not to mention painful) to and his parents are scheduled to discuss cut off his foreskin, it also made him the year-long bar mitzva preparations wonder why his Jewish status might be with me, Beth Am’s rabbi, Jeun blurts in dispute at all. Hadn’t he undergone out that he doesn’t want to become bar conversion as a baby? Who gets to mitzva. After a long conversation with decide? There were enough unknowns his parents, Jeun finally reveals that he in Jeun’s life these days — like, what had heard that the rabbi at the neigh- teams should he try out for, what does boring synagogue would not allow he think of girls, and who is he going an uncircumcised boy to become bar to be? He had thought that his Jewish mitzva without first having a bris. Jeun identity was one of the stable parts of is terrified. The next day, Sarah calls to his life! inform me of the situation. What is going on for Jeun? As a pre- Affirming Ethnic Identity pubescent male, he is understandably terrified by the physical implications of Another issue for Jeun had to do brit mila.1 Although Jeun was not born with his Korean identity. While his Jewish, he has been Jewish for as long as sister, Leesa, is also Korean, Jeun feels he can remember. In Washington, this a sense of disconnect with his “white” identity rarely was expressed publicly, parents and many of the kids in public because few Jews lived in West Podunk, school and at Beth Am. His Korean- and there were few or no expressions American friends try not to be too of Jewish life in the community. If cliquey, but there is no question that classmates teased him or gave him a they have a special camaraderie with hard time about being different, it was one another. They can relate to what it because of his externally visible identity means to be both at home and out of as a Korean. place in America. In Philadelphia, Jeun has been able Some say that conversion to Juda- to explore more of what it means to be ism is challenging, because Jewish Jewish by learning about Judaism and ethnic identity only comes through celebrating Jewish holidays and rituals birth. But Jeun doesn’t have problems with the congregation. His religious with the ethnic Jewish piece, because school teachers and classmates always he did grow up Jewish. Moreover, he treat him like all of the other children, likes Jewish religious expressions, like

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 35 holidays, prayers and the Hebrew lan- past year. He was coming to a point in guage, because they make more sense his life where his upbringing (descent) to him than Christianity. Still, Jeun alone would not sustain him. Like all doesn’t look Jewish and, consequently, of his Jewish peers, Jeun would have he feels a bit like an outsider. None of to make his Jewish identity a priority Jeun’s Korean friends are Jewish, but (assent) over other interests and entice- they “get him” on a different level. One ments when it came time to prepare for could say that Jeun considers Judaism his bar mitzva. In the past, without co- to be his religion, while his ethnicity is ercion, he simply had done what Sarah Korean. Overall, he feels rather betwixt had told him to do; now, he would and between right now. have to choose bar mitzva of his own Jeun’s mother Sarah always wanted volition. Jeun was about to take his first to raise a storybook Jewish family of steps on the path to adulthood, and bar her own. This dream was modified mitzva would be an important time of when she and Tony fell in love in transition. Would Jeun be able to assert college, and shifted once again when his autonomy while remaining con- they discovered they were unable to nected? What could Sarah or anyone conceive. Fortunately, at some point else do to help him maintain continuity Sarah realized that her life was richer with his Jewish life experience thus far for these deviations from her original and enable him to continue to mature norm. Tony is a fabulous husband, and Jewishly? she could not imagine more loving and Jeun’s father, Tony, had agreed to sweet children. While she had thought raise any children as Jews, but he per- that Jeun should be circumcised at the sonally had little interest in organized time of his conversion, she simply could religion. Although Shabbat and holiday not put her precious little baby through celebrations were enjoyable and helped yet another trauma. him feel connected with his wife and children, he founds some of the ritu- Autonomy and Connection als to be downright weird. Kissing the Torah seemed idolatrous, and circumci- In general, Sarah and Tony did the sion was barbaric! Tony had not been best that they could to juggle their circumcised; why should his son be professions in light of the best interests any different? of the children. When the opportu- Jeun’s sister, Leesa, loved being nity arose for Tony to be transferred Jewish. She always got the “Most Out- to Philadelphia, Sarah lobbied for it standing Student” award in religious strongly, despite complications in her school and could read Hebrew better own career, because she wanted the kids than anyone in her class. She would be to live in a vibrant Jewish community. willing to be circumcised if she could. She was thrilled to find Beth Am, but Why can’t she do something to show she began to worry when Jeun started how important her Jewish identity is to rebel against religious school this to her?

36 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist Jeun’s maternal grandparents were mitzva family’s needs and those of the always worried about their daughter, community. Sarah: would she make a living, find When Sarah phoned to tell me, the a nice boy to marry, have children? Of rabbi, about Jeun’s predicament, I let course, it hasn’t turned out the way her know that I appreciated the heads- they had expected, but they know that up and would think about it before our she’s happy with her life, and that’s all scheduled appointment. In analyzing that really matters now. When Sarah the situation, I first considered the mo- called to tell them that Jeun was afraid tivations of the other rabbis involved. of having to be circumcised, they sug- The Reform rabbi in Seattle sought gested she talk with her rabbi. The rabbi to uphold tradition by suggesting brit would know what to do. mila. Nonetheless, both his training and the fact that he suggested, rather Synagogue and Rabbi than required, brit mila show that he was influenced to a greater extent by Beth Am’s president, Larry Green- the modern concept of choice, rather berg, knows about Jeun’s fears. Sarah than fate or obligation. had called him the day after Jeun’s Had the Levi-Smith family remained blow-up to ascertain the congregation’s in Washington State and become policy on conversion. Larry informed members of that same Reform rabbi’s her that Beth Am doesn’t have a policy; congregation, it is possible that Jeun that’s the rabbi’s domain. Sarah then would have been required to have brit told Larry that Jeun was never circum- mila before becoming bar mitzva. This cised and that she worried that the would have adhered to the language rabbi wouldn’t allow him to become and intent of the Reform rabbinate’s bar mitzva. Larry tried to comfort her 1983 “Resolution Regarding Children by explaining that he personally didn’t of Mixed Marriage” which presumes care if Jeun was circumcised. Actually, Jewish status “to be established through he was more interested in Jeun’s Korean appropriate and timely public and extraction and how that relates to his formal acts of identification with the Jewish identity and his participation in Jewish faith and people.”2 The Con- Jewish life at Beth Am. Larry suggested servative rabbi at the neighboring syna- that perhaps Jeun should talk about gogue is obligated to uphold halakha what it means for him to be a Korean- (Jewish law). Accordingly, she would American Jew at the bar mitzva. expect that a Jewish male on the verge While on the topic, he let Sarah of accepting the “yoke of Torah” as a know that the issue of bar mitzva has bar mitzva, or as an adult Jew, would been addressed at recent board meet- be circumcised. In both of these cases, ings, because these celebrations seem the rabbi’s decision reflects a model in to be taking over Shabbat services at which rabbis are the gatekeepers of the Beth Am. The board is looking to find Jewish (sacred) symbol system. a better balance between the bar/bat

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 37 Religious Humanism ing from the Torah) than in status. Using the traditional legal concepts

As a Reconstructionist rabbi, the of points of intervention — lekhathila. first thing that comes to my mind is (in advance) and b’diavad (after the Mordecai Kaplan’s question: do the fact) — the decision becomes much Jewish people exist for Judaism, or does clearer. Were I helping the family de- Judaism exist for the Jewish people? Is cide whether to perform brit mila at it more important for me to respond to the infant’s conversion ritual, based on this human being whose concerns exist the needs and particulars of that fam- in this very moment or to worry about ily, I could lobby for circumcision on the halakha and the Jewish people of many grounds. However, encountering the past and future? Reconstructionism the family these many years later, it’s is a humanistic movement; we are as b’diavad. concerned about people as we are about Then, there is the issue of embodi- issues. Even so, how do I balance my ment. Some uncircumcised boys, born obligation to k’lal Yisrael (the greater to Jewish parents,4 experience the phys- Jewish community) both horizontally icality of their Jewish identity by virtue (across the spectrum of Jews living of the fact that they have Jewish biologi- today) and vertically (with Jews of the cal/genetic ancestry As an adopted non- past and the future)? After all, accord- Jewish child, Jeun’s physical being will ing to Manfred Vogel, any presumption not embody his Jewish identity without of definition must be grounded in the brit mila. Oddly enough, that same group, not in the individual. While the absence of circumcision will maintain halakhic question of “who is a Jew?” his connections with his adoptive fam- is not at work here, the more modern ily. Jeun has the most in common with question of “what is a Jew?” is.3 When his sister, Leesa, with whom he shares Jeun approaches the congregation, his ethnic Korean heritage and lack of wanting to become bar mitzva but not genetic bond with the Jewish people. having had brit mila, we can either: 1) Since she will not be able to experience exclude him from doing so, by reaffirm- brit mila when she becomes bat mitzva, ing an existing policy; 2) find a way to this ritual might only serve to distance accommodate him within the group him from her. model (through transvaluation); or, 3) Jeun’s adoptive father, Tony, is un- revisit our congregational norm and circumcised; brit mila would physically then perhaps reconsider it. distinguish these two men of the family To some extent, it’s fortunate that from one another when they already Beth Am has no congregational policy differ in their religious and ethnic on the matter. Still, do we have a com- identities. The only family member mon set of norms that dictate what a to whom Jeun may be brought closer bar mitzva should be, do or know? Yes, by virtue of the embodiment of brit but these expectations are grounded mila is his Jewish mother, Sarah. But more in action/praxis (such as chant- Sarah did not accept the Reform rabbi’s

38 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist suggestion to circumcise her newly him through birth. Requiring brit adopted ten-month-old son, and it mila at this juncture would be a hal- is unlikely that she would suddenly akhic technicality and might discourage advocate strongly for brit mila at this Jeun from becoming bar mitzva and, juncture in Jeun’s life. It seems that therefore, from further exploring his circumcision will not connect Jeun with place on the ethnic-religious vector. If the very same family with whom he will Jeun needs to be a Jewish (religious) be living out his Jewish identity. Korean-American (ethnic), then his bar mitzva process and ceremony should Establishing Priorities affirm him in this multi-dimensional in Context identity. According to Michael Chenlov’s Given the particulars of Jeun’s situa- research, religious identity generates tion — being terrified, pre-pubescent, the ethnic in certain cases.5 While and of Korean ethnic background, not much of American Jewry reflects the to mention having a non-Jewish father opposite direction/vector, that is, eth- — requiring or even recommending nicity generating religious identity, the brit mila would likely do more harm combination of Jeun’s ethnic Korean than good. At the same time, the situ- identity and his lack of association ation is lekhathila. with regard to bar with the Jewish community during his mitzva. At this juncture, there is still early years may trump Jewish ethnicity. time to help this boy and his family Jeun’s religious identity was assigned to feel more connected with his Jewish him upon adoption; let’s find a way to identity and to affirm his Jewish status help him actively choose Judaism as one in the eyes of the wider Jewish com- of his ethnic identities as well. munity. Rituals such as brit mila have Ultimately, as Mordecai Kaplan mythic power, but so does bar mitzva. taught, we can only work with the What this child lacks in descent, he community we are handed. As always, certainly can gain through assent, that rabbis can shape the conversation about is, through positive, identity-and-sta- a particular issue, but the people will tus-affirming rituals. Jeun can become a decide, over time, what the norm is. link in the chain of tradition by leading Today’s fourth and fifth generation the community in prayer and chanting Jews who make up the majority of the from the Torah. Jewish community in America have a Rather than being a passive recipient very different relationship with Juda- of Jewish tradition, Jeun is ready to be ism than their relatives from the “old an active and engaged Jew. Bar mitzva country” did. While on a local/indi- is precisely the time for the nexus of the vidual level the rabbi can determine descent and assent vectors of identity. what this young man should do, on the In Jeun’s case, an emphasis on assent wide/long-term level the community will allow him to take ownership of will decide what should be done in the identity that does not belong to similar situations.

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 39 Rabbinic Response Managing Multiple Identities

At this point in time, as the rabbi In order to clear the air early on, I must remain true to my values. My I would next speak to Jeun’s concern bottom line has less to do with my about brit mila. First I would acknowl- overall attitude toward brit mila than edge that Sarah had informed me that with my commitment to individual Jeun knew of someone who could not meaning-making that does not sacri- become bar mitzva without brit mila. fice the integrity of the community. It Then I would explain that I am avail- is fairly clear that pressuring Jeun to able to speak with Jeun and his family conform to halakha and tradition will about brit mila — its origins, history only serve to alienate him, and probably and meaning today, and what would be his family, from Judaism. Finally, before involved in the circumcision of a young my meeting with Jeun’s family, I will man rather than a baby. remind myself that how I am responsive Finally, I would make clear that I do is much more important than what my not consider circumcision a necessary response is. pre-requisite to Jeun becoming bar After welcoming the Levi-Smith mitzva. Neither I nor this congrega- family into my office and shmoozing tion questions Jeun’s status as a Jew. for a few moments, I would explain Once Jeun’s fears had been assuaged, that Jewish identity is a fluid process we would discuss this matter for as long which has not one but many defin- as the family felt necessary. ing moments along the way. While Thereupon, I would address Jeun’s birth/adoption and infant conversion interest in his Korean friends. As confirm Jewish identity, they are passive this family knows from my teaching, moments, because they are determined Mordecai Kaplan, the first Recon- by an outside force, such as heredity or structionist, identified the situation of the decision of one’s parents. Bar/bat the Jews in America as “living in two mitzva is the first identity marker that civilizations.” In 21st century America, a Jewish person determines, albeit most we actually live in multiple civiliza- commonly in conjunction with one’s tions, because of our many identities parents. Bar/bat mitzva is a “moment and overlapping communities, such as when you affirm who you are and gender, interfaith, gay/straight, ethnic- choose who you will become.”6 It is ity, disabled or elderly, to name a few. both an affirmation of who one has At different times and in various ways, been and an opportunity to shape who particular aspects of our identity need one will become. For Jeun, as some- attention or nurturing. one who was converted before he was Conversion makes this particu- cognizant of what was happening, bar larly obvious, since one’s family of mitzva is all the more powerful as an origin — whether known or unknown affirmation of Jewish identity. — belongs to another faith group and sometimes, as in Jeun’s case, a differ-

40 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist ent ethnic and/or national grouping. animals (tza’ar ba’alei hayyim. ). Jeun has Some Reconstructionist rabbis consider participated in all of these mitzvot with conversion to be akin to taking on citi- his family and in Beth Am’s religious zenship, that is, becoming a member of school. a group. Certain countries allow dual Another very important aspect of citizenship; some do not. If we were Judaism is belonging. This is expressed to apply this formula to Judaism, it is through participation in community. fairly evident that Judaism does not Bar mitzva is an important time to af- permit dual “citizenship” when it comes firm one’s sense of belonging to some- to religious identity. thing bigger than oneself. However, dual or multiple ethnic When Jeun’s family came to Beth Am identities are part of what makes Jewish five years ago, they had not previously tradition so interesting! It is essentially belonged to a Jewish community; now, for this reason that we have distinct they are an integral part of this congre- Ashkenazi and Sephardi minhagim gation, both as a family and as individu- (customs). Jews in Central and Eastern als. The community has been enhanced Europe were influenced by Christian by their presence, because they have society in Germany, Poland, Russia brought themselves as they truly are. and neighboring countries, and in- Jeun has shared his love of sports and corporated elements of those cultures his commitment to animals; Leesa, her into Jewish life there (whether they musical abilities; Tony brought his pas- were aware of it or not). Similarly, sion for the environment by designing Jews in Spain, Portugal, Morocco and the congregational vegetable garden; other Mediterranean countries were and, Sarah’s artistic talents have helped influenced by their Muslim neighbors to beautify our sanctuary. In these ways, and adapted some of the customs be- each of them has acted to support our ing practiced there into their Jewish community. rituals. The same applies to us today: However, and this is important, even had American values, such as equality if they had not lifted a finger to contrib- for men and women, not been incor- ute tangibly, they would have enriched porated into Jewish life, I would not the community by their very presence. be a rabbi! Jeun and Leesa, as Korean-American Jews, have helped to broaden Beth Behaving and Belonging Am’s understanding of who we are as a Jewish community. As Leesa and Jeun Judaism is very much about behav- continue to learn about their Korean ing, that is, about what we do: for ancestry, we hope that they will edu- example, lighting Shabbat candles, cate us about these parts of themselves teaching our children, helping those and share with the congregation what in need (with tzedaka and g’milut hasa. - it means for them to have such a rich dim), and preventing the suffering of cultural heritage.

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 41 Nurturing Existing circumcision later in life. Connections For now, Jeun’s sense of Jewish identity resides within himself, his family When making a decision regarding and his congregation and has the best a congregant’s status as a Jew, a rabbi chance of remaining strong through must consider that person’s individual continued positive affirmation. situation in the context of his/her family, community and the wider Jewish world. A circumcision alone will not 1. Which would terrify most males but make someone Jewish. In this case, would be exacerbated during this pre-ado- a rabbi’s insistence on circumcision lescent’s liminal time of sexual development might negatively impact Jeun’s feelings and identity formation. toward Judaism and compromise his 2. “Report of the Committee on Patrilineal identification with the Jewish people. Descent on the Status of the Children of Given his young age, it is important Mixed Marriages,” adopted March 14, for Jeun to experience the rhythms of 1983, in American Reform Responsa. Col- Jewish life and to find meaningful ex- lected Responsa of the Central Conference of pression of his Jewish identity. As the American Rabbis, 1889-1983, ed. Walter rabbi, I can best nurture and enrich Jacob (New York: CCCAR, 1983), 550. his existing connection with Judaism 3. Manfred H. Vogel, “Some Reflections on by affirming his interest in becoming the Question of Jewish Identity” in Reform Judaism, 30:1, 120, Winter 1983, 1-2. bar mitzva, supporting him in his Jew- 4. Regardless of patrilineality. ish learning and challenging him to 5. Michael A. Chenlov, “Patterns of Jewish continue to grow Jewishly. Whether Identity in the Modern World,” Midstream, the greater Jewish community regards 46:6, Sept.-Oct. 2000, 2-7. Jeun as a Jew should not be the primary 6. Richard Hirsh used this formulation in concern at this time. Should his Jewish a class at the Reconstructionist Rabbinical status become an issue, he can choose College.

42 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist Seeking the Tzelem: Making Sense of Dementia1 B y D ay le A . F r iedman he specter of dementia is tering home. He often stopped me to ribly frightening. We dread ask if I ever got headaches, and if I’d the humiliating prospect of like to know how to get rid of them. T I replied that I did, on occasion, get losing continence, the agitation of no longer knowing where or who we are, headaches, and would appreciate learn- the vulnerability of being at the mercy ing a technique to cope with them. Mr. of strangers caring for us. This is terrain Shapiro showed me that by rubbing no one wants to enter. my forehead with thumb and finger, Undoubtedly, anyone who has I could reduce the pain of the head- encountered dementia in a family or ache. Though he did not remember at work has witnessed scenes of great our encounters when next we met, I tenderness as well as heartrending understood that he was a helper and a pathos. I have been confronting the healer, and he was striving to continue mysterious world of dementia for more to be authentically himself. than 25 years in my work with elders. I met Mrs. Schwartz as I came onto What follows is an exploration of the her nursing home floor to conduct meaning of dementia and an effort to Shabbat services. Obviously distraught, put it in a theological context. My hope she was near tears. She asked me to help is that this reflection will shed light her. “I must find my way home. I’m on the work of spiritual accompani- very late, and my mother is waiting for ment with individuals with dementia. me. She’ll be so worried.” Since the challenge of dementia is not I could count on meeting Mrs. abstract, but a lived reality, I begin Applebaum whenever I approached the this exploration by describing a few of nurses’ station on her floor. She was al- the elders whose journeys inform my ways pacing frantically back and forth, reflections.2 stopping every passerby to ask the time. I watched as she got a variety of answers Profiles from the staff and visitors, some more patient than others. After perhaps the Mr. Shapiro, a retired pharmacist, tenth such exchange, Mrs. Applebaum was always impeccably dressed in a shouted out in exasperation, “This day suit and tie when he lived at the nurs- is never going to end!”

Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman is the founding director of Hiddur: The Center for Aging and Judaism of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College.

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 43 Mrs. Goldberg was an East-Euro- to current estimates, about 10 percent pean-born woman with quite advanced of those over 65 and 50 percent of dementia. She could no longer speak, those over 85 have dementia. Based on but she could sing, and sing she did, the 2000 National Jewish Population all day and all night. She had an amaz- Survey’s estimate of 956,000 Jewish ing ability to take up any melody you elders in the United States, there are started, in any genre — Broadway, at least 95,000 American Jewish elders folk, liturgical, klezmer. She didn’t sing with dementia today.3 the words, only “la-la” — but with Dementia is often equated with Al- great gusto. Teenage volunteers in the zheimer’s disease. In reality, it is broader nursing home adored being with Mrs. than Alzheimer’s disease. Dementia Goldberg. They lovingly called her “the refers to a number of related disorders la-la lady” and competed to sit next to that feature “. . . significant, progres- her in the synagogue. sive losses in mental ability, usually but Mrs. Stein was always brought to not always in the elderly. Symptoms of Shabbat services in her nursing home dementia include impairment in judg- unit. She would sit slumped over in her ment, thinking, memory and learning geri-chair through the entire service; it as well as possible changes in personal- was not clear if she was asleep or awake. ity, mood and behavior.”4 Dementia When we sang the Shema, Mrs. Stein can last for years, and is sometimes would invariably open her eyes and broken down into early, middle and late murmur the words. stages. The early stage is characterized Encountering dementia is demand- by loss of short-term memory and mild ing, often surprising and sometimes confusion; the middle stage includes even exalting. Confront it we must, for more dramatic confusion and loss of it is all around us as our community memory and judgment, and also often continues to age. In this quest to make includes incontinence; the late stage sense of dementia, I want to explore involves nearly total deterioration of what dementia means to the person, physical functioning, including, even- to those around her, and, with supreme tually, the ability to eat, to speak and hutzpa. , to God. I will then suggest to move about unaided. how these observations can guide the work of spiritual accompaniment with The Challenge of Dementia: A individuals with dementia. Phenomenological Description Defining Dementia What is it like to live with dementia? Is it solely a journey of suffering? Can Dementia currently affects about we even know? Any characterization I four million Americans. Given the offer must be with humility, since I have dramatic graying of the American not been there; I have only witnessed population, this number is expected to this experience from the outside. rise to 14 million by 2050. According One way to conceive of dementia

44 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist is as a midbar, a wilderness. For the our lives. ancient Israelites, the 40 years of sojourning in the midbar after their The Present Moment liberation from slavery were mysterious and difficult. They wandered with When you cannot remember the few guideposts toward an unknown past and cannot conceive of the future, destination. They could not sustain what you are left with is the present themselves without divine help. They moment. Being present in and aware were vulnerable before people they met of the moment at hand can bring joy along the way, and before the harsh re- if the moment is positive and despair if alities of nature. They could not return it is not, for in that moment of midbar to Egypt, the place of their memories, nothing else is imaginable. It can be a and they could not truly imagine what sweet and tender privilege simply to sit lay ahead. with a person with dementia, just hold- Perhaps people with dementia expe- ing hands, just being there, without rience their lives as a kind of midbar. distraction or agenda. The loss of memory is the hallmark of The midbar in which the Israelites their condition. This memory loss is wandered contained places of beauty distinct from the ever-duller recall with and moments of amazing power. This which those of us in midlife or beyond is also true for the midbar of dementia. contend. For example: I am constantly While memory and other faculties may misplacing my keys, desperately trying fade, many people experience an un- to recall the name of that colleague I al- abated capacity for joy and love, at least ways enjoy running into at professional until the final stages of the disease. conferences, and searching for the Diana Friel McGowin wrote a fasci- word that is on the tip of my tongue. nating memoir of her journey through Annoying though it is, this memory dementia. In it, she passionately asserts loss is normal, and not symptomatic her continued engagement with life: of dementia; it is what gerontologists If I am no longer a woman, why call “benign forgetfulness.” do I still feel I’m one? If no longer The person with dementia experi- worth holding, why do I crave it? ences a progressive loss of memory as If no longer sensual, why do I still first short-term and eventually nearly enjoy the soft texture of satin and all memory becomes inaccessible. The silk against my skin? If no longer awareness of this loss is most acute in sensitive, why do moving song the early phase of dementia. The sense lyrics strike a responsive chord in that one is losing one’s memory can be me? My every molecule seems to terrifying. Depression and agitation scream out that I do, indeed, exist, are often concomitants of early-stage and that existence must be valued dementia. Losing our memory means by someone!5 losing our connection to ourselves and, eventually, to those who have shared When short-term memory fails,

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 45 the world around one can offer many busy to notice: each moment is a gift, surprises. Rita Bresnahan observed this and not to be taken for granted. about her mother’s experience with dementia: Depersonalization And she [my mother] is constantly Unfortunately, the person living surprised — by flowers that have with dementia often suffers from be- been in her room for days, or ing treated as a non-person. In his by visitors who just step out of courageous book Dementia Reconsid- the room for a while. “Oh,” she ered, Tom Kitwood decries what he exclaims, smiling broadly at their calls the depersonalizing tendencies of return, delighted to see them as malignant social psychology. He lists if they have just come. She lives seventeen dehumanizing responses to David Steindl-Rast’s words: “Any people with dementia, of which the inch of surprise can lead to miles following seem particularly salient: of gratefulness.”6 Treachery: using deception to dis- tract, manipulate or force the person Oases of Connection into compliance; Disempowerment: depriving the in- There are remarkable oases of con- dividual of control over his or her life; nection to be found in the midbar of Infantilization: treating people with dementia. Against the background of dementia like “wrinkled babies” instead so much loss, I have sometimes seen of mature adults with history, dignity an especially keen appreciation for life’s and will;8 goodness. For example, one daughter Invalidation: failing to acknowledge described a sublime afternoon spent the subjective reality of a person’s expe- sitting with her father as they wordlessly rience or feelings; and watched the autumn leaves falling out- Objectification: treating the person side the window of the nursing home. as if he or she were “a lump of dead mat- The two of them were completely ab- ter to be pushed, lifted, filled, pumped, sorbed in nature’s drama. They had no or drained, without proper reference to need for words or action. the fact that they are sentient beings.”9 In the yotzer (creation) prayer, These dehumanizing responses are we praise the Eternal for “renewing rampant in settings in which elders in goodness each day the work of with dementia receive care. There are creation.”7 The person for whom a extreme examples, such as a staff mem- familiar, beloved person or object can ber telling an elder who asks to be taken continually seem a surprise is living to the bathroom that she wears diapers those words. In this experience of and should just urinate in them. But delight, in which each moment seems there are also more insidious forms of new, the person with dementia may dehumanization, such as using terms experience what the rest of us are too of endearment in speaking to an elder;

46 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist perhaps the retired physician doesn’t whose personality has been distorted by want to be called “sweetie,” nor does dementia. Often, the change is negative, the homemaker necessarily want to be as when a distinguished woman whose told how “cute” she looks. Every time inhibitions have been diminished by staff members speak about an elder dementia suddenly shouts profanities as if they are not present, the elder’s she would never have dreamed of ut- dignity is assaulted. Each approach by tering. Sometimes, the change can be a an escort who begins pushing a wheel- salutary one, as I learned when I met the chair without addressing the person in family of Esther, the woman who loved it is a diminution of that individual’s to sing. “You must enjoy her so much. personhood. She is such a delight,” I said. “We do,” The experience of wandering in the her daughter said, “especially since she midbar of dementia is made harsher was not always like this. She was tough by the social context that surrounds to live with!” Esther’s dementia brought it. Just as the Israelites were at the her family a new opportunity to know mercy of sometimes hostile others in and appreciate her, in a way that was the wilderness, so those with dementia never before possible. are vulnerable to attacks on their dig- Loving a person with dementia nity through dehumanizing treatment. means facing a long, slow farewell, los- Conversely, the suffering of the person ing your dear one a little bit at a time. with dementia can be eased by love, You experience the loss anew every respect and tenderness. time you see the person you love, and see again how different she is from the Family Caregivers: way she used to be. This is an ongoing Loving the Stranger bereavement, but one without routine social or spiritual acknowledgment or When our family’s beloved Grammy support. Anne suddenly became extremely im- paired, unable to converse sensibly Reverence and Honor or relate to anything but frightening delusions, my sister Jill continued to The person who loves someone with visit her almost daily, and cared for her dementia faces a Herculean task of car- with great devotion. My sister sadly ing for an ever-diminishing body and remarked, “This is not Grammy. The mind with mora (reverence) and kavod person we loved is gone.” Encounter- (honor).11 One may need to adjust to ing dementia in someone we love raises radically changed roles as a loved one painful questions about what it is that copes with dementia. The direction makes us ourselves. This questioning is of power and dependency may shift. why David Keck teaches that dementia There may be weighty new responsi- is a theological disease.10 bilities and knotty dilemmas as one As my family discovered, it is de- balances respect for the person’s wishes manding to relate to someone you love with concerns for his or her safety and

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 47 well-being. Becoming a caregiver for a an important journey, parent does not mean that you are now every motion and breath your parent’s parent, but it is a painful anywhere realignment of roles nonetheless. as though anywhere Bresnahan suggests that acceptance were the center of the earth.14 is a key part of the task in caring for a parent with dementia. It is so painful It is a supreme challenge to love the to surrender to our inability to fix the stranger. Certainly, we have a mandate inexorable fading of the one we love. from the Torah to do just that, hard “More than anything,” she writes, and painful though it be. That this “I need to accept Mom where she is challenge of caring for a loved one — and accept my own limitations as with dementia can go on for years, well. I once heard another caregiver or even decades, makes it even more explain to a fellow elevator-rider, ‘There heroic to overcome impatience, grief is nothing I can do for him, and I am and frustration and lovingly do what doing it.’”12 needs to be done. One way of articulating the caregiver’s spiritual challenge is: “You shall Professional Caregivers: love the stranger.”13 The Torah teaches Transcending Assumptions us in Exodus 23:9 that we must treat the stranger with care, “for you know Taking on the job of professionally the soul of the stranger.” The stranger caring for a person with dementia is before us is the very person you have provocative. In our society, many of us known and loved for all these years. In are hypercognitive, primarily identified the confrontation with dementia, you with our intellectual sides. We believe are asked: can you love this so-familiar we are our brains, so we believe that and yet totally strange person before witnessing the erosion of cognition is you? Can you let go of the expectation witnessing the diminution of person- that she will behave or appear as she hood. Tom Kitwood suggests that in used to, and appreciate her for who she confronting dementia two primal fears is now? In loving the stranger, can you are aroused: fear of frailty/dependency learn from this person and her journey? and fear of dying/death.15 The poet Betsy Sholl puts the challenge Many people distance themselves eloquently: from people with dementia in order to be spared these frightening prospects. This old woman… In their study of life in an assisted liv- isn’t my mother, ing community, Susan McFadden and is not what I think. her colleagues describe a meeting with She’s a spiritual master a local parish pastor in the elevator. trying to teach me When asked about his visit, he replied, how to carry my soul lightly “Well, I have three members here . . . how to make each step but two are out of it so I just said hello

48 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist and left my card.”16 ers a window into the experience of The stigma that our society attaches dementia. This glimpse of their reality to those with cognitive impairments may help those of us on the outside to such as dementia can lead caregivers understand better and more respect- to form powerfully negative assump- fully relate to people with dementia. tions about the limitations of those for whom they are caring. Christine Dementia in God’s Eyes: Bryden, a woman living with demen- Seeing the Tzelem tia, decries what she calls the “toxic lie of dementia,” the assumption that The biblical creation narrative tells “the mind is absent and the body is an us that God created humanity b’tzelem empty shell.”17 The impact of caregiv- Elohim, in God’s own image (Genesis ers’ assumptions can be devastating, as 1:26). Stephen Sapp suggests that the she writes: task in approaching a person with dementia is “to see as God sees.”19 I This stigma leads to restrictions on would suggest that God sees the tzelem our ability to develop our spirituality. in the person with dementia, the divine It threatens our spiritual identity. It spark within. Rabbi Hershel Matt, z”l is assumed that the limits due to our reflected on his experience in providing failing cognition place us beyond pastoral care for people with dementia, reach of normal spiritual practices, and wondered where that tzelem could of communion with God and be in those diminished by confusion with others. But to what extent and incapacity. He suggested that what are these assumptions due to the he was witnessing was “the fading image limits placed upon us due to the of God.”20 stigma attached to our dementia? . Others would argue that the image . . The question is, where does this of God can never be diminished in a journey begin, and at what stage living human being. For example, the can you deny me my self-hood and Maggid of Mezeritch, an 18th-century my spirituality?18 Hasidic master, taught that the tzelem is an intrinsic element of the human be- Even the most dedicated care- ing. The Maggid compared the creation givers face frustration as they of human beings in God’s image to a seek to respect the person with father who has a son. Even if the son dementia. It is often so hard to goes far away, the father always holds know what the person is feeling, expe- the son’s image in his heart and mind. riencing, longing for. The caregiver’s According to the Maggid of Mezeritch, ability to understand the person and God had an image of humanity in mind his or her wishes is limited. Although before we were even created, and this each individual’s experience is wholly image is unchanging in past, present unique, narratives like those of Bryden and future. We always look the same and Diana Friel McGowin give caregiv- to God.21

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 49 Based on this teaching and my own the Eternal, I remembered for you the encounters with people with dementia, kindness of your youth, the love of your I would suggest that the tzelem is not wedding day, how you followed Me dependent on cognition or capacity. into the wilderness.”23 Even when we Amid all of the changes of dementia, are mired in the moment, bereft of all the tzelem remains, for it is the very perspective on our lives, God sees more, essence of our humanity. in boundless compassion. God holds all of who we have been. We may forget, God Sees the Soul but God does not. God “for eternity remembers all of the forgotten ones Another way of understanding what . . . and there is no forgetfulness before God sees in the person with dementia Your throne of glory.”24 We are always is that God sees the neshama, the soul. whole in God’s eyes. We are taught that the soul within us is pure, and remains within us until Spiritual Caregivers we die.22 If so, then perhaps the idea that the person with dementia is suf- The role of spiritual caregivers for fering might be our own projection. people with dementia is to emulate How do we know that the person with God in seeking the tzelem. We need to dementia is not on a higher spiritual remind ourselves that even when the madrega (level)? tzelem is not apparent, it is there. In the In some spiritual practices, the person who is disoriented, regressed or ideal is “to be present in the present even unresponsive, somehow the image moment.” People with dementia are of God resides.25 Bryden reminds us of probably more able to do that than the the power of seeking the tzelem: “By re- rest of us. In mystical terms, we speak jecting the lie of dementia and focusing of the ideal of shedding the klipot, the on my soul rather than on my mind, I outer shells of superficial, utilitarian can be free of fear of loss of self, and in identities. Dementia accomplishes this so doing can also help you to lose your purpose, stripping souls down to their fear that you are losing me.”26 essence. One daughter who flies across Remember for them: Spiritual caregiv- the country every few weeks to care ers can also emulate God by remember- for her father, a man with advanced ing for people who cannot remember dementia, says it is not a burden but for themselves. We can connect them a privilege. “He’s just pure hesed. (lov- to memory. The Talmud contains a ing-kindness),” she says, “That’s all poignant narrative about Rav Joseph that’s left.” bar Hiya. Rav Joseph was called “Sinai” According to our tradition, God because he held all of the laws of the remembers for us, even when we can- Torah systematically in his head, as if not. In the High Holy Day zikhronot he had heard them directly from God at (remembrance) prayers, we quote the Sinai.27 Rav Joseph apparently became prophet Jeremiah (2:2): “Thus says ill and suffered major memory loss. The

50 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist Talmud recounts a number of cases in Respond to the Neshama (the Soul): which his student, Abaye, gently re- In accompanying individuals with minds him of his own teaching. Upon dementia, we are challenged to relate hearing a complex legal discussion, Rav to the soul within them. As Bresnahan Joseph says, “I have never heard this writes, tradition,” and Abaye reminds him, “You yourself have told this tradition It is not Mom who must remem- to us, and it was in connection with ber who I am. Rather, it is I who the following that you told us.”28 Abaye must remember who my mother connected Rav Joseph not only to his is. Who she truly is. Not merely memory, but to his very identity and “an Alzheimer’s patient.” Nor worth. merely “my mother.” It is up to In reminding his teacher of his own me to [continue to be] . . . keenly wisdom, Abaye upheld another of Rav aware of her spirit, honoring her Joseph’s teachings: soul-essence. Meeting her with caring and love and respect in that Rav Joseph teaches that the tablets sacred place of wholeness which [of the law] and the broken tab- nothing can diminish.31 lets [that Moses shattered upon discovering the Golden Calf ] We relate to souls when we let faces are both kept in the ark. From shine through the power of ritual. We here we learn that a scholar who witness the power of symbol, song and has involuntarily forgotten his holy times to connect to the part that learning should not be treated is whole within the person, as with disdainfully.29 Sylvia, who found connection through the familiar words, melody and message As we recall their personhood, we of the Shema. When we use ritual to remember those with dementia in an empower individuals to live in sacred additional way. According to Stephen time, there is a chance that, at least in Sapp, by recalling the Latin root of “re- the moment, Rose will feel that the day member,” which comes from the word is more than an endless expanse of wait- for “limb,” we learn that our role is to ing that will never end. We are called return the person to the community: to adapt our celebration and worship “. . . re-membering those individuals to make them accessible to individuals in the sense of bringing them back into with dementia, harnessing our creativ- the human community, refusing to let ity to engage people at the time and in them be cast aside and forgotten, which the manner that works for them. is in effect to dis-member the body.”30 Whenever we respond to an individual Forging Connection as one created in the image of God, we are helping him or her to rejoin the In accompanying individuals with community. dementia, we forge a life of connection

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 51 for them. In our simple presence, in We will learn much if we open our caring and fervent commitment to ourselves to the person with demen- strive to understand the individual, we tia. I learned from Mr. Shapiro, the provide a response to the pastor who pharmacist, not only how to relieve a said, “There’s nothing to do with them headache, but also how to retain one’s because they’re out of it.” Our response essential goodness amid change and is to be with them in the midbar. Diana brokenness. Friel McGowin eloquently states the urgent need for this accompaniment: Magic Moments

Without someone to walk this This work requires patience. We labyrinth by my side, without struggle to be with the person in silence, the touch of a fellow traveler who to be satisfied when nothing seems to truly understands my need of self- be happening. Sometimes, we learn worth, how can I endure the rest that a great deal is happening, as did of this uncharted journey? I thirst the daughter who discovered anew the today for understanding, a tender wonder of falling leaves as she sat in si- touch and healing laughter.32 lence with her father. In accompanying people with dementia, we ambitious The work of accompanying elders caregivers need to measure accomplish- with dementia requires curiosity. We ment in a different way. Any progress will do best to follow the advice of Mel- may register in millimeters, not inches. vin Kimble, who suggests that we prac- Yet we must be prepared for “magic tice “hermeneutical phenomenology,” moments,” when a person who seems inviting the old to be our teachers about generally quite confused may suddenly aging and meaning.33 In this learning speak or connect with great clarity and process, the teaching happens at levels profundity. One such magic moment beyond words and surface conversation. occurred in conversation with Anna. We search agitated behavior or speech Anna was a feisty, fun-loving woman to unearth the profound concerns the who had formed many close friendships person is trying to communicate. When with other elders during her years in the Shirley tells us she needs to go home to nursing home. Only when she passed her mother, we may learn worlds about age 100 and painfully fractured a hip the enduring mother-daughter bond if did she begin to be confused. One day, we inquire into the derash, the meaning as she sat in her geri-chair, Anna was of this quest. When we acknowledge moaning, saying over and over, “Oy, and validate the emotions reflected in Mama, oy, Mama.” I sat down next to apparently “unreal” content, we can Anna and took her hand. “You’re think- reach and honor the confused elder. ing a lot about your mother, aren’t you, As Rita Bresnahan observes, “. . . I am Anna?” Anna turned to me and said, learning that ‘the facts’ do not matter. “It’s always Mom in the end.” Only the relationship does.”34 Anna could not have said what day

52 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist of the week it was, nor did she necessar- we remain connected to the One whose ily remember the chaplain sitting next compassion is boundless, who remem- to her. Somehow, though, Anna knew bers us, and remembers the Covenant what really counted. She realized that that binds us in eternal love. May we she was near the end of life. She was bring that compassionate connection aware that she longed for the comfort of to all of our relationships. her mother, and she believed she would soon be joining her. Ultimately, dementia is a mystery. If Resources we can find the courage to walk along- • The Foundation for Alzheimer’s , side those who journey in this midbar and Cultural Memory has developed we, too, will be transformed. Debbie collective reminiscence work that gives Everett has identified the “surprising voice to elders with dementia: www. paradox” of ministry with dementia: memorybridge.org. It leads us, the spiritual caregivers, to • “Island on a Hill” is a CD record- live more authentically. Everett writes, ing of elders from San Francisco’s Jew- ish Home who became Psalmists and As we open ourselves to embracing singer-songwriters with the help of [persons with dementia] as wholly Rabbi Sheldon Marder and musician worthwhile and valuable persons Judith-Kate Friedman: www.cdbaby. that need motivated and loving com/cd/judithkate care, they expel us from our intel- • Sacred Seasons Celebration Kits, lectual theological boxes. In the produced and distributed by Hiddur: process, they introduce us to a God The Center for Aging and Judaism, who is also dancing and laughing enable elders in residential settings to in the bizarre places where chaos join in Shabbat or holiday celebrations, 35 reigns. even when a Jewish spiritual caregiver is unavailable. Comprehensive, easy- As we learn from those we accom- to-use kits for Shabbat and holidays pany that the human being is more include everything a staff member or than intellect, more than memory, even volunteer without Jewish background more than cognition, we learn that we needs to facilitate a joyous observance: are, as well. We learn to value ourselves www.sacredseasons.org. for our very essence. • The TimeSlips Project has collected hundreds of stories, and produced plays A Concluding Blessing and art exhibits based on narratives of individuals with dementia: www. Confronting dementia puts us in timeslips.org. touch with the profound fragility of so much that we cling to in this life— memory, identity, relationship. In this 1. This essay is adapted from my chapter awesome and mysterious journey, may by the same name in Jewish Pastoral Care:

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 53 A Practical Handbook from Traditional and “malignant social psychology” in relating to Contemporary Sources, Dayle A. Friedman, individuals with dementia. ed. (Woodstock, VT: Jewish Lights Pub- 10. David Keck, Forgetting Whose We Are: lishing, second edition, 2005). An early Alzheimer’s Disease and the Love of God version of this paper was delivered at the (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1996). National Association of Jewish Chaplains’ 11. These are the two basic aspects of 2005 conference. obligations toward parents, according to 2. Details have been changed to protect the the Babylonia Talmud, tractate Kiddushin, confidentiality of these individuals. 31b. 3. Miriam Rieger, The American Jewish El- 12. Bresnahan, op. cit., p. 110. derly, United Jewish Communities Report 13. See Deuteronomy 10:19 for one of Series on the National Jewish Population the many examples in Torah of this com- Survey 2000-2001 (New York: United Jew- mandment. ish Communities. September, 2004). Note 14. Betsy Sholl, in Mother to Daughter, that this number is likely an underestimate, Daughter to Mother, Mothers on Mother- since the study did not include elders ing : A Daybook and Reader, Tillie Olsen, in nursing homes or other institutional ed. (Old Westbury, N.Y. : Feminist Press, settings, which are likely populated with 1984), 245, cited in Bresnahan, Walking disproportionate numbers of individuals One Another Back Home. with dementia. 15. Kitwood, Dementia Reconsidered, 14. 4. Debbie Everett, “Forget Me Not: The 16. Susan McFadden, Mandy Ingraum, Spiritual Care of People with Alzheimer’s Carla Baldauf, “Actions, Feelings, and Disease” in Spiritual Care for Persons with Values: Foundations of Meaning and Dementia: Fundamentals for Pastoral Prac- Personhood in Dementia,” Viktor Frankl’s tice, Larry VandeCreek, ed. (Haworth Press, Contribution to Spirituality and Aging, 1999), 79. (Haworth Press, 2000), 83. 5. Diana Friel McGowin, Living in the 17. Christine Bryden, Elizabeth MacKinlay, Labyrinth: A Personal Journey through the “Dementia—A Spiritual Journey Towards Maze of Alzheimer’s (New York: Delacorte the Divine: A Personal View of Dementia,” Press, 1993), 114. Journal of Religious Gerontology, Vol. 13, 6. Rita Bresnahan, Walking One Another No. 3/4 (2002), 69-75. Home: Moments of Grace and Possibility in 18. Ibid. the Midst of Alzheimer’s (Lingouri, Missouri: 19. Stephen Sapp, “To See Things as God Lingouri/Triumph), 82. Sees Them: Theological Reflections on 7. Daily morning service, Shaharit. , my Pastoral Care to Persons with Dementia,” translation. See, for example, Daily Prayer in Spiritual Care for Persons with Demen- Book, translated by Philip Birnbaum (New tia: Fundamentals for Pastoral Practice, York: Hebrew Publishing Company, 1977), Larry VandeCreek, ed. (Binghamton, N.Y., 71. Haworth Press, 1999), 37. 8. I learned this term from the late Maggie 20. Hershel Matt, “Fading Image of God? Kuhn, founder of the Gray Panthers. Theological Reflections of a Nursing Home 9. Tom Kitwood, Dementia Reconsidered: Chaplain,” Judaism, Vol. 36, No. 1, (Win- The Person Comes First (Buckingham, ter, 1987). (England/Philadelphia: Open University 21 Cited in Itturei Torah, Aaron Jacob Press, 1997). Kitwood developed a list of 17 Greenberg, ed. (Tel Aviv: Yavneh, 1985) depersonalizing tendencies of what he calls on Parashat Bereshit.

54 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist 22. See the prayer Elohai Neshamah from ney.” the daily Shaharit. service, my translation. 27. Babylonian Talmud, Berakhot 64a. “The soul that you have implanted within 28. Babylonia Talmud, Eruvin 10a. me is pure. You created it, you formed it, 29. Babylonian Talmud, Menahot. 99a. and you are destined to take it from me and My translation. I’m grateful to Rabbi Beth to return it to me in the time to come [after Naditch for pointing me to the connections death].” For the context, see, for example, between these texts. Daily Prayer Book, translated by Philip 30. Sapp, “To See Things as God Sees Birnbaum. (New York: Hebrew Publishing Them.” Company, 1977), 15-16. 31. Bresnahan, Walking One Another Back 23. Translation mine. For the context, Home, 50. see, for example, The Metsudah Machzor, 32. Friel McGowin, Living in the Laby- Avrohom Davis, translator (Brooklyn, NY: rinth, 14. Metsudah Publications, 1985), 317f. 33. Melvin Kimble, cited in McFadden, et 24. Translation mine. For the context, al., “Actions, Feelings, and Values.” see, for example, The Metsudah Machzor, 34. Bresnahan, Walking One Another Back 320. Home, 38. 25. Interestingly, the Babylonia Talmud 35. Debbie Everett, “Forget Me Not: The (Berakhot 10a) indicates that the soul “sees Spiritual Care of People with Alzheimer’s and is not seen.” Disease” in VandeCreek., et al., Spiritual 26. Bryden, “Dementia: A Spiritual Jour- Care for Persons with Dementia, 87.

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 55 Praying for Healing in Community

By Louis E. Newman

ost people are not strangers modicum of creature comforts; and we to prayer. Yet we seldom take have social needs for compan-ionship Mmuch time to reflect on what and love. We are also, by nature, rather the familiar words mean and on what fragile creatures. All of us, no matter makes them so powerful. After many how strong, competent or accom- years of attending Shabbat services plished, are often weak, vulnerable and regularly and a good number of years needy. We are susceptible to being hurt, studying and teaching Jewish texts, I to becoming ill, to failing in the very know a number of prayers by heart things that matter to us most. We are — but only a few of them have really vulnerable to the devastation of natural entered my heart. Those few that have disasters, to the emotional wound of a speak to me in an especially powerful harsh word from someone we love, to way. Why is it that no matter how many disappointment and tragedy, and to times I say them, some prayers never the slow, steady effects of aging. And grow tiresome? What gives certain we are fragile, most of all, in that our prayers the ability to touch us, even time is limited; as the psalmist reminds moving us to tears at times, drawing us, each of us walks “in the valley of the us back to a place deep within with shadow of death.” (Psalm 23:4) which we have lost touch, but long to Prayers speak to us when they ad- rediscover? dress these basic aspects of our human experience, when they call attention to Giving Voice to Our Humanity our vulnerability, to all those ways in which we are subject to “the slings and I suggest that the power of prayer lies arrows of outrageous fortune,” most primarily in its ability to give voice to of which we would just as soon forget. our essential humanity. Whatever else When a prayer really enters the heart, may separate us from one another, we look and see: It is because the words share certain basic human traits: We express something that we recognize have parents (or had them); we have ba- as deeply true about our experience as sic physical needs for food, shelter and a human beings.

Dr. Louis E. Newman is the John M. and Elizabeth W. Musser Professor of Reli- gious Studies and Director of the Program in Judaic Studies at Carleton College, Northfield, Minnesota.

56 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist Acknowledgment when it gives voice to our hopes for in Community the future. Perhaps, because we are by nature so limited and so easily hurt, Public prayers are powerful in yet we long for things that will make us another way, for it is only in com- feel safe and whole: financial security, a munity that we have the possibility strong community, a just government, of acknowledging our deepest human a loving family. In asking for these fears and aspirations with one another. things in prayer, we are not engaging We walk through our lives maintain- in magical thinking. It is not the case ing a strict barrier between these very — certainly it need not be the case personal and human aspects of our — that we believe that saying the right experience and the public persona that formulaic words each week will bring we share with others. about the desired result. Petitionary I have a colleague, a native of Swit- prayer is not the adult equivalent of the zerland, who once remarked how star- child who asks a parent for an increase tled she was when she first came to the in his allowance or for the keys to the United States and discovered that when car for the evening. It is rather more like people ask, “How are you?” they do reciting a poem or playing a piece of not really want a long, personal, fully music, where we try to infuse the words truthful answer. We are conditioned or notes that others have written with to respond with a perfunctory “Fine, our passion, our yearning, our desires thank you, and how are you?” and then and our concern for our lives and the continue on with our day. lives of those we love. Public prayer is the antithesis of Because such prayers put into words such superficial interactions. In a wor- the deepest desires of our hearts, they ship community, we come together to are themselves ennobling and sustain- acknowledge who and how we really ing, whether or not we “get” what we are, to affirm our shared humanity, to most hope for. Abraham Joshua Hes- look past what superficially divides us chel put it this way: and to affirm what deeply unites us: our joys and sorrows, our vulnerability, Prayer clarifies our hope and inten- and our ability to support one another. tions. It helps us discover our true aspirations, the pangs we ignore, The power of prayer is magnified many the longings we forget. It is an act times over when we recite in commu- of self-purification, a quarantine nity, for then prayer enables us to ex- for the soul. It gives us the oppor- press what the famous scholar of ritual tunity to be honest, to say what Victor Turner called “communitas,” our we believe, and to stand for what common humanity. we say.1 Facing the Future Death and Illness

Prayer is most powerful and moving I learned many of these things about

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 57 prayer years ago, in the course of my evident, or so terrifying. training as a scholar of religion, but I only really began to understand them Course of Treatment when tragedy touched my life. It was in the spring of 1995, just a week The doctors at the university offered before Passover, when my mother, her an autologous transplant, a proce- zikhrona l’vrakha, passed away. She had dure whereby her own stem cells would been diagnosed with advanced cancer be harvested. She would undergo mas- eighteen months earlier and in those sive radiation and chemotherapy, and final months we watched her strength her own cells would be returned to her wane as the life gradually drained out body. It would not cure the disease, but of her. Her death was a huge loss for it would buy her time, perhaps a few our whole family, and remains so to more years. The university was doing this day. At the time, we grieved and, groundbreaking research in this area, as the season required, we did our best and it was her only choice. to pull ourselves together and celebrate She underwent the transplant in the holiday. early 1997 and, like so many treatments But our respite was short-lived, for for cancer, it ravaged her body, destroy- as the last days of Passover began, we ing her immune system in an attempt received the news that my sister had to have it regenerate itself. It left her chronic myelogenous leukemia (CML). demoralized. In the weeks and months I remember clearly the shock I felt, the following the transplant, she was sur- sense of unreality, and the unspeakable rounded by a virtual army of devoted fear that, having just lost my mother, friends. She received extraordinary care and having lost one of my brothers from her health-care providers, began years earlier, I might very well lose my a drug regimen to treat the effects of only sister as well. the leukemia, took herbs, saw an acu- The only known cure for CML is puncturist, and joined a cancer-patient a successful bone-marrow transplant support group. Slowly, she began to from a donor with matching marrow regain her strength and the sparkle in type, most likely a relative. We were all her eyes, to return to work, even to play tested; none of us matched. Moreover, tennis. The cancer was not gone, but it no match existed in the worldwide was in retreat. registry of bone-marrow donors. Her life expectancy was approximately three Saying the Mi Sheberakh to five years, we were told. The family seemed to be unraveling. My dreams of Beginning with the first Shabbat af- living into ripe old age with my siblings ter I learned of my sister’s diagnosis, and were evaporating. Most of all, I felt my continuing through her treatment and own powerlessness to control the course subsequent years of recovery, I recited that my sister’s disease would take. The the mi sheberakh l’holim. , our traditional fragility of life was never so painfully prayer for those who are ill. Saying that

58 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist prayer was not an effort to cure the individual is made public, the line be- disease or restore my sister to health, tween the personal and the communal but quite the contrary, an admission dissolves. We are each praying for our of my own impotence to do either. At respective friends and loved ones, and times, my fear overwhelmed me and I as a community we are praying for all was actually unable to say the words who are ill. out loud. At other times, when her condition was improving, I recited the Merging the Personal same words with profound gratitude and Congregational Families for the gift of her renewed health. But always I prayed with the awareness that If we reflect upon this, we see that it could as easily have been me who was we are praying for ourselves as well. afflicted with cancer and was fighting For we know that our time will come, for life. Offering that prayer invariably that time when we ourselves will be in connected us, even when I was far away, need of healing and someone close to and even when we had not spoken in us will be reciting our name. So, when many days. Each time I stood up to of- we say the mi sheberakh, we are really fer her name in prayer, I felt that I was inviting everyone into one community affirming my love for her, my profound — those who are sick today and those desire for her health and my hopes for who may be in the future, those who her future — and for mine. are here and those who are not, those But in the course of reciting this who are named and those whose names prayer, I discovered much more than we do not know. Through this ritual, a wonderful way to express my con- my personal family merges with the nection to my sister. I discovered the congregational family, which in turn meaning and power of a ritual when it merges with the larger human family. truly connects us to our deepest human It is not necessary that we know the needs and to one another — for I never stories of each of those for whom we said the mi sheberakh alone. As I rose to pray; it is enough that in saying the offer her name, others throughout the mi sheberakh together we express our congregation rose to offer other names, bond with those we love and with one names of people I did not know. This another. That, after all, is the purpose of weekly ritual of praying for her healing bringing our greatest fears and our most was inextricably bound up with prayers private hopes into this public space, for the healing of others, and so her ill- where, as the rabbi of our congregation ness was connected to many other such always says at the conclusion of this stories. Such is the power of offering prayer, we may “find comfort amidst the names of those in need of healing the community.” As with all prayers within the context of our communal that truly touch us, it is in the very act worship, just as, l’havdil, we offer the of saying them together that we find names of those for whom we rise to support. It is comforting to know that recite Kaddish. When the name of an we are not alone in our fears, that my

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 59 most heartfelt wish may also be yours. have stopped reciting it for my sister. This support and comfort are what we For her, I will recite other prayers, give to one another—or, better, what prayers of gratitude, and I will continue the mi sheberakh gives to all of us when to celebrate with her each passing year we recite it in community. of health and vitality. But the time for saying mi sheberakh is over; it makes no That is why we continue to say the mi sense to ask for what we already have. sheberakh even when someone is suffering from a terminal illness. For even A Prayer for Healers where there is no hope for “a complete healing of body and spirit,” we still feel My experience with my sister’s ill- the need to express our deep desire for ness, and of praying for her healing, also health. We still wish to acknowledge taught me to value the extraordinary our fragility as human beings who people who are the vehicles of our heal- sometimes suffer and, always, eventu- ing. Healing, like all divine gifts, makes ally die. And we still feel a sense of its way into our world only through solidarity with others who share our human hands. To experience the joy desires and our human needs. of healing is always to be filled with gratitude for those who devote their When We Stop lives to restoring health and wholeness. Praying for Healing So, I offer the following prayer for all those whose work makes health and But there is also a time to stop recit- healing possible for all of us: ing the mi sheberakh, and that time arrived for me this year. The story of “Source of healing, give of your my sister’s battle with leukemia, for all healing power to those who care for intents and purposes, is over. For the us. Enable them to nurture the life last four years, her annual biopsy has force within us when it wanes. Help detected no trace of leukemia in her them to care for us when we are ill and bone marrow, and it shows no signs of cannot care for ourselves. returning. She has far outlived the most “Source of knowledge and wisdom, optimistic expectations of her doctors grant our caregivers the discernment to and our wildest dreams. Ten years af- diagnose our ailments and the insight ter her diagnosis, she leads a perfectly to guide our treatment. Give them the normal life (as normal, that is, as life expertise they need to restore us to can be). She is now as healthy as any health and the devotion they need to of us who never faced a life-threatening master the art of healing. illness. Her son, whom she once feared “Source of hope, provide all who care she would not live to see finish grade for us when we are sick with confidence school, is now a high school junior. in themselves and in us. Help them to And so, while I will continue to recite point us toward a healing of the spirit, mi sheberakh for others each week, I even when healing the body is beyond

60 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist their reach. edge our human frailty and affirm our “Source of peace, bestow wholeness ability to support one another in our and serenity on our physicians and on most vulnerable times. Finally, the mi all who offer us healing. Grant them sheberakh reminds us of our common compassion, patience and gentleness humanity. As John Donne wrote, in all that they do. May they always “never send to ask for whom the bell know that in caring for us, they are tolls; it tolls for thee.” So, too, every doing your work, that in restoring us to time any one of us recites this prayer health, they are bringing peace to us, to for healing, it is ultimately a prayer by our community, and to the world.” and for us all.

The mi sheberakh binds us to those for whom we are praying, but also to 1. Abraham Joshua Heschel, Between those with whom we are praying. In God and Man (New York: The Free Press, reciting it, we simultaneously acknowl- 1959), 198.

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 61 Elijah Knocking: Opening Doors in the Creative Process

By David Harris Ebenbach

f all the Jewish holidays, of his knock on the front door, because few cause a life to be turned I see in that possibility a powerful meta- O upside down the way that phor for the creative process. Passover does. There are the bursts of spring cleaning and the kashering, and At the Open Door dietary changes that last eight days. There are multiple meals, often involv- Painter Marc Chagall, in his memoir, ing long-distance travel and complex My Life, describes a childhood memory family dynamics. And upon reflec- of a Seder experience: tion, it seems only fitting that Passover should cause so much upheaval in one’s My father, raising his glass, tells life; certainly the ideas that lie at the me to go and open the door. heart of the festival are intended to be Open the door, the outside door, earth-shaking themselves. at such a late hour, to let in We encounter this drama in the the prophet Elijah? A cluster of holiday’s vivid, crazy story, in the white stars, silvered against the complexity and provocation of the background of the blue velvet metaphors and imagery, and — most sky, force their way into my eyes importantly for our purposes here — in and into my heart. But where is the spotlight that gets thrown on a char- Elijah, and his white chariot? Is he acter who is arguably Judaism’s most still lingering in the courtyard to enduring folk personality: Elijah. enter the house in the guise of a Every year, we pour an extra glass of sickly old man, a stooped beggar, wine, and wait to see whether this will with a sack on his back and a cane be the year that our much-anticipated in his hand?1 prophet will finally make his appear- In the young Chagall we can see our- ance. This is always a tremendously selves. How many of us have stood at significant moment for me. As a writer, the open door, one Passover or another, I take special pleasure in the possibility looking for signs of Elijah? Of course,

David Harris Ebenbach teaches writing at Vermont College. He was awarded the Drue Heinz Literature Prize for his short story collection, Between Camelots.

62 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist we usually assign this optimistic task to Elijah’s removal from earth, so far children — who better to approach the from being an interruption to his task with earnestness and true-believer relations with men, rather marks expectations? Yet I want to argue that the beginning of his real activity this brand of optimism is at least as in time of need, as a teacher and crucial to the adults sitting around the as a guide.3 Seder table. It is these adults — and particularly those working in the arts Elijah’s significance grew largely — who can see in Elijah’s presence at through the medium of the folk tale. the open door an opportunity to aid in In these tales, he acts as a kind of su- the prophet’s task of bringing perfec- perhero, a powerful magical force for tion and meaning to the world. good. He shows up at weddings and circumcisions to make sure nothing The Importance of goes wrong, keeps the angel of death Being Elijah away from the sick, and brings riches to the poor. He is also the person who In the foreword to Peninnah Schram’s is supposed to usher in the messianic wonderful book, Tales of Elijah the age, when perfection will be brought Prophet, folklorist Dov Noy asks this to the world. One does have to wonder crucial question: why it’s Elijah, of all figures in Jewish tradition, who is entrusted with such Why has Elijah become a favorite important responsibilities. hero who overshadows other biblical and post-biblical heroes in The Choice of Elijah the Jewish folk-tradition, heroes who undoubtedly play a more After raising this question, the important role in Jewish thought folklorist Dov Noy goes on to raise and tradition (such as Abraham and dismiss several possible answers, our father, Moses our Teacher, and ends up by focusing the prophet’s King David, and others, among name itself: Eliyahu. This name has them many folklore protagonists the unique characteristic of contain- like King Solomon, Maimonides ing letters from two different names Maimonidies, and Chasidic rab- of God. There are the aleph and lamed 2 bis)? of El, the name that rabbinic tradition believes stands for God’s justice (din), Elijah entered the Jewish conscious- and there are the yod, hey and vav of the ness as a biblical character, a prophet tetragrammaton, YHVH — the name who does all kinds of miraculous things that the rabbis say stands for mercy — but his central importance to the (rahamim. ). His name, thus, captures Jewish people developed primarily in the full range of God’s attributes; part post-biblical times. As scholar Louis of Elijah’s appeal is that one can find Ginzberg put it in Legends of the Jews, in him this same range. To look into

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 63 Elijah’s eyes is to see the entire universe always comes like lightning, striking us and all its possibilities. wherever we happen to be at the time. This matters to me above all as a But more often, it does not work like writer, a person who looks at the world that. If we wait for those lightning as something worth exploring and re- strikes, we will probably sit and stew cording with language — and when I and watch while time steadily passes us write, I have Elijah in mind. I think of by. Much like the people at the Seder Elijah metaphorically, as the doorway table, artists cannot wait passively for into the universe in its fullness, into inspiration; we have to open the doors our highest state of understanding, that keep it from entering in the first inspiration, of connectedness to what place. And we have to open them no is meaningful all around us. matter who might be waiting on the If this has been the popular experi- other side. ence of Elijah over the centuries, it’s no surprise that he has become our most Opening the Door cherished figure. It is also not surprising that we attribute to him such a range One of the most interesting and of impressive powers. Yet those powers important things about the folk tales’ themselves raise another question. As portrayal of Elijah is that he usually Peninnah Schram puts it: comes in disguise. He is not glow- ing, not dressed in white robes, not Since Elijah can be everywhere and haloed or winged. Instead he might anywhere, why do we need to open be dressed as a prostitute, a stranger, the door and call out a welcome? a sickly person, or — most often — a Why can’t he just come in on his beggar, filthy, in rags. And in this form, own, through the window or a he waits to see whether the door will keyhole? The rabbis say that we be opened wide for him, or slammed must also do some work on our in his face. own to bring redemption.4 I always find myself thinking about In this view, Elijah is an entirely Jew- this in terms of encounters with the ish hero. His influence over our lives homeless — considering the possibility depends, as do all things, on our own of a homeless person coming knocking actions. We cannot sit passively and on the door, asking to be invited in for wait for him to show up. We have to go a meal and a place to stay. Many people to the door, open it, welcome him in. in this situation would turn the person Again, I think of this in terms of away, perhaps even refusing to crack what it might mean for the creative the door at all after glimpsing the visi- process. Most artists have been rocked tor through the distorting lens of the at one time or another by the power of peephole. And so many people — if a sudden inspired thought or emotion, the visitor is indeed Elijah — would and the intensity of that experience thereby lose out on everything he has can lead us to believe that inspiration to offer. It is only the person who opens

64 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist the door, who opens the world up to But one of the characteristics magic, to wonder, to possibility — and, of this rare presence is that it is as we will see, to art — who can take jealous of exposure and that it is advantage of the opportunity. shy and revengeful. . . . Its face This, too, is a deeply Jewish idea. is a particular face, it is likely to One of our early stories of Abraham, appear under the most unlikely whose name is often associated with the disguises. You cannot recognize it trait of hospitality, reads very much like from past experiences — in fact an Elijah folk tale. Just a few days after it is always a new face . . . It will his circumcision, Abraham spots three not use the same appearance for strangers approaching his tent and, any new materialization. And it despite his weakened condition, rushes is our very life . . .5 around to welcome them with food and comforts. Lo and behold, they turn out Finding Inspiration to be angels, messengers of God, and Abraham is amply rewarded by God In other words: just as you never for his hospitality. Unless we are open know which beggar will turn out to be to the possibility of God’s presence, we Elijah, you never know where you will will be unable to discern it when it is find inspiration, if you are looking for manifest. it. You have to open the door and greet whoever is on the other side, no matter A Rare Presence who it is. Poet Marge Piercy says of this process that William Carlos Williams was a poet and fiction writer, but also a doctor who You have to stay open and curi- worked long hours making house calls ous and keep learning as you go. in Paterson, New Jersey, his patients Poems come from a whole variety most often being recent immigrants of sources. When you’re younger, who were deep in poverty. In his book you believe in inspiration. As you The Doctor Stories, he talks about why get older, you believe most in re- this kind of work — which one might ceptivity and work.6 expect to be draining, and to leave little time for writing — was in fact so cru- Not surprisingly, this approach to cial to his writing process. It was the creative process is relevant not just through his medical practice that he to writers but to all artists. Dance cho- was able to meet so many people, and, reographer Anna Sokolow once said “If in them, find what he calls a “rare pres- [the choreographer] draws on the ever- ence” — a spark of meaning or truth changing life around him, his work that for him could serve as the essence will always be fresh and new.”7 And of a poem. He said about finding that Sokolow was known for this; rather rare presence: than being committed to a particular style of dance, she typically worked

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 65 out each piece by studying the dancers all these situations and people. Above she had at hand. How does this person all, we must not pretend there is beauty move most naturally? How does this or goodness in every disturbing nook person dance? Rather than imposing a and cranny of the world. But surely we style on her dancers, she tried to bring can find meaning everywhere. Whether out a style that was inherent in them. the goal is beauty, or power or just truth And that is our calling as artists: to find and meaning, we have to be able to the power and meaning in whatever lies welcome the beggar in. before us, no matter what it is. Chagall took this charge quite literally. In his famous painting, “The Welcoming the Beggar Praying Jew” (also called “The Rabbi of Vitebsk”) a man is davvening in tallit Part of our heritage as Jews generally and tefillin, portrayed as pious, engaged and as artists in particular is our calling in the sacred, a singular spiritual model to find meaning not only in the beauti- for the community — and, as with ful and easy things of the universe but many of his other pieces, Chagall paid in those things that challenge us, that a penniless beggar to sit as the model seem ugly, difficult to like or under- for his subject. His model was a man stand. After all, we are the descendants that in his normal garb might inspire of those unhappy fruit-eaters, Adam only discomfort or even disgust in and Eve, our risk-taking forebears who many people. Chagall, however, liter- gave up everything so that we could ally welcomed the beggar in. have consciousness, full awareness of both good and evil. And thank God The Importance for that bite of fruit — in Eden, there of Being Open could be no Torah scrolls, no Judaism, no poetry or music to elevate us; Eden Again, this openness is our calling was already perfect, and needed none as artists. In an interview with Bill of these things. Only afterwards were Moyers, former United States Poet there such needs — and only afterwards Laureate Robert Pinsky described this were there human beings capable of process aptly: meeting them. From that moment forward, we could truly know all the There’s a process of the human things of creation, good and evil, and imagination’s taking in its sur- participate in their redemption. roundings and discovering how Artists have to be willing to find to make art of them. What could inspiration in unlikely places, to find be more unpromising than a steel meaning in situations or people that oil drum? Smells bad, gets rusty, make us uncomfortable, that seem pro- it’s not attractive. But people took saic, that perhaps even repel us. And it the steel oil drum and made music is crucial to remember that this does not from it — a new kind of music. necessarily mean we will find beauty in . . . If there’s something in your ex-

66 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist perience that moves you but seems Underneath the Rags without poetry, your challenge is to make it poetic.8 Often what is required of an artist is to get beneath the surface of the I once went to Montreal, and on the subject, to find its deeper significance. train met a young woman who insisted In the kabbalistic understanding of on talking to me throughout the trip. the universe, every person and object It turned out she was basically a nar- in the world contains holy sparks, and cissistic, difficult person, and the trip those sparks are concealed under many became very long. But after we parted layers of covering. Often, as with the ways, I found myself thinking about woman on the train, those outer layers her, about her story. As she had ex- are off-putting, and in some cases they plained it to me at length on the train, can be absolutely disturbing. But those she was coming to Montreal to try to emotions can be productive, can be so get some love from her lousy-sounding jarring and motivating that we end up boyfriend. I found myself imagining wrestling with them until something her stay in Montreal, her probably fu- gives and that spark ends up being tile efforts to force her boyfriend into a released. For that reason, the most mutually rewarding relationship. disturbing subjects are not necessarily Then I began to write. This woman the artist’s biggest challenge. became the main character in a story Indeed, we are often required not that now almost always moves me close only to go digging under unpleasant to to tears when I read it. She may not surfaces; we are also challenged by have been an ideal train companion something potentially much more dif- — and she is not an entirely likable ficult — to go beyond what is easy or character in the story (again, the goal plain or ordinary to find what’s com- is not to sugar-coat one’s subjects but pelling. This has been a regular part of to find meaningful truth) — but she, songwriter Leonard Cohen’s creative like all of us, had something in her that process: was worth exploring. I find that the easy versions of the As a teacher of writing, I ask my song arrive first. Although they students to consider those people, might be able to stand as songs, situations and things around them that they can’t stand as songs that I can nag at them, that stay on their minds, sing. . . . To be able to find that but that do not seem like they could song that I can be interested in be art because they are scary, enraging, takes many versions and it takes a disgusting. Art does not have to be lot of uncovering.9 beautiful or easy. I ask my students to consider trying to turn that powerful Underneath the beggar’s ragged emotion into the fuel for art. clothing, I tell my students, consider that a spectacular heart beats, that

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 67 there may be a gorgeous or muscular barrow in precise, vivid, sensual detail, or wildly contorted body, a brain filled he makes it bright and new again, re- with love or lusts or hate or compassion minds us to slow down and look at it. — that beneath the ordinary may lay He not only tells us, but helps us to see the extraordinary. for ourselves, just “how much depends/ In my short story collection, Between upon” such an ordinary object. Camelots, I was concerned not with peak experiences, but with the everyday Receiving Elijah lives we lead. As far as I can tell, we spend our lives not on the peaks but In this understanding of the creative on the ground, and there must be art process, then, the main task is the same where there is life. We have to find what task laid upon all Jews — to uncover matters about the ordinary. This may and redeem the sparks in all things. In be more difficult than finding art in the our case, that means to look around in unpleasant. Unpleasant things give us our lives for those places that do not energy, whereas things that seem ordi- immediately suggest themselves as art, nary may make us feel nothing much and see if there might be more there at all. But that just means we need to than we suspect. go deeper. Yet this process is not all about those active moments of going hunting; it is The Red Wheelbarrow also about working to create that state of receptivity that Piercy describes. It Williams demonstrates this in his has been said that Abraham, our bibli- classic poem “The Red Wheelbar- cal model of hospitality, had his tent row:”10 open on all four sides so that there so much depends could be no mistake as to whether a upon stranger was welcome inside. And so, even if he had not rushed around to a red wheel prepare for his three visitors, even if barrow he had not been outside to spot them, Abraham had already set his life up in glazed with rain such a way that strangers would feel water welcome to enter his home — and, as a result, he wound up face-to-face beside the white with angels. chickens. Consider that on Passover we do not go out into the streets looking for Eli- One might think it’s impossible jah; we prepare our kitchens, clean up to write a meaningful poem about our homes; cook great food; we engage something as boring as a wheelbarrow. in ritual and prayer; we work hard to Williams shows us what happens when create a warm home in the expectation you go deeper. By describing the wheel- that our hard work will entice Elijah to

68 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist come knocking. Spiritually, this means 1. Marc Chagall, My Life (New York: The opening ourselves to the possibility of Orion Press, 1960), 39. his arrival. 2. Peninnah Schram,Tales of Elijah the Prophet (Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson, Inc., 1991), xii. Work and Receptivity 3. Louis Ginzberg, Legends of the Jews (Baltimore, MD: The Johns Hopkins We have to do the same thing in our University Press, 1998), 202. artistic lives. We have to create that in- 4. Schram, op.cit, xxxvi. viting setting. And how do we do that? 5. William Carlos Williams, The Doctor Recall that Piercy mentions “work” and Stories, Robert Coles. ed. (New York: New “receptivity” in the same breath. And Directions, 1984), 126. so indeed we work. We sit down at our 6. Marge Piercy, interview in Bill Moyers, desks or in our studios and put in daily ed., Fooling with Words (New York: William effort. We engage in this kind of work Morrow & Co., 1999), 179-180. every day, seeking meaning anywhere 7. Anna Sokolow, “I Hate Academies . . . and everywhere. In doing so, we seek Modern Dance is an Individual Quest.” to create a habit, an ongoing state of Dance Magazine (July 1965), 38. 8. Robert Pinsky, interview in Bill Moyers, receptivity in ourselves. op. cit., 198. Piercy offers us a vision of this ex- 9. Leonard Cohen, interview in Paul Zollo, perience: “The more you actually see ed., Song-Writers on Song-Writing (Cam- . . . then the more stuff you will have bridge, MA: Da Capo Press, 2003), 331. within you that will rise and suggest 10. Williams, William Carlos, “The Red itself as imagery.”11 Composer John Wheelbarrow,” University of Pennsylvania Zorn says, “It’s like self-hypnosis, in a Writing Program Home Page, 8 April 2006, sense. When I’m writing, sometimes it www.writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/88/wcw- gets to that place where I feel like the red-wheel.html. piece is writing itself and I’m trying not 11. Marge Piercy, interview in Bill Moyers, to get in the way.”12 op. cit., 179. When we are in the habit of creation, 12. John Zorn, interview in Bomb Maga- the world opens, even at times when we zine, www.bombsite.com/zorn/zorn.html. are not consciously trying to make it open. We in fact create a world where meaning will begin to leap out at us from the most unexpected places. We will have readied our doors for that sharp and promising knocking.

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 69 Life-Long Jewish Learning: The White Spaces in the Text

By Jeffrey Schein

any of us are familiar with My goal here is to open up several re- the notion that there are flective “white spaces” for the reader in Mwhite spaces providing deep- relationship to the Ben Tema text by: er meaning than the black letters we • comparing and contrasting the text find in a Sefer Torah. I think it can with portraits of the life-cycle drawn safely be said that the same is true of from other cultural matrixes; and many other Jewish texts. Judah Ben-Tema’s evocation of the • asking a more practical, programmatic life cycle found in the Mishna tractate question. Whatever else we mean by Pirke Avot (5:21) is an example of the life cycle, it is by definition “life- Judaism’s invitation to probe continu- long,” and being alive means always to ously for the deeper meaning in our be learning. The concept of life-long tradition. (See full citation below.) On Jewish learning is high on the com- the surface, the text presents us with a munal and educational agendas of the tightly prescribed picture of the Jewish Jewish people. What ought a rabbi, life cycle, with each age being matched educator or committed lay-leader do to an appropriate life task or accom- with a concept as tantalizingly rich yet plishment. When, however, we explore as elusive as “life-long Jewish learning?” the white spaces surrounding the text How might each of us conceptualize something of the deeper mystery of our own role as a facilitator of healthy human living emerges. and creative movement through Jewish For rabbis, educators and lay leaders, life cycle? this mystery can sometimes be lost in a whirlwind of activity. We appropriately Ben Tema, Shakespeare are engaged in helping individuals and and Confucius communities move through the life cycle in ways that enhance Jewish and Western civilization, Jewish civiliza- spiritual meaning. Rarely do we have tion and Far-Eastern/Oriental tradi- an opportunity to step back and ask tions are often touchstones for complex more fundamental questions about the worldviews. Here I have placed side-by- core questions of what it means to pass side one text from each tradition.1 through life’s stages.

Dr. Jeffrey Schein is Director of the Center for Jewish Education and Professor of Jewish Education at the Siegal College of Judaic Studies in Cleveland.

70 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist Judah Ben Tema: like the pard, He used to say: At five scripture, Jealous in honour, sudden and at ten the study of oral tradition, at quick in quarrel, thirteen the fulfillment of the com- Seeking the buble reputation mandments, at fifteen the more Even in the cannon’s mouth. And advanced study of the oral law then the justice, (Talmud), at eighteen marriage, In far round belly with good at twenty seeking a livelihood, at capon lined, thirty full strength and vigor, at With eyes severe and beard of forty understanding, at fifty giv- formal cut, ing advice, at sixty the status of Full of wise saws and modern an elder, at seventy one is white- instances; haired, at eighty one enjoys the gift And so he play his part. The sixth of special strength and heroism, age shifts at ninety one bends over, at one Into the learn and slipper’d hundred it as if we have left the pantaloon, world (Pirke Avot 5:21). With spectacles on nose and puch on side, William Shakespeare: His youthful hose, well saved, a All the world’s a stage, world too wide And all the mean and women For his shrunk shank; and his big merely players: manly voice, They have their exits and their Turning again toward childish entrances; treble, pipes And man in his time plays many And whistles in his sound. parts, Last scene of all, His acts being seven Ages. At That ends this strange eventful first the infant, history, Mewling and puking in the Is second childishness and mere nurse’s arms. oblivion, Then the whining schoolboy, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, with his satchel sans everything. And shining morning face, (Jacques in As You Like It, creeping like snail Act II, scene VII) Unwillingly to school. And then the lover, Confucius Sighing like furnace, with a The Master said, at fifteen I woeful ballad set my heart upon learning. At Made to the mistress’ eyebrow. thirty, I had planted my feet upon Then a soldier, the ground. At forty, I no longer Full of strange oaths, and suffered from the perplexities. At bearded fifty, I knew what were the bid-

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 71 dings of heaven. At sixty, I heard to physical dissipation) are certainly them with docile ear. At seventy I worth exploring. With some amuse- could follow the dictates of my own ment, however, I note that one cannot heart: for what I desired no longer with integrity (though people have overstepped the boundaries of right. tried) use Ben Tema as a “proof text” for (Analects of Confucius, Book Two) life-long Jewish learning. Arguably, it points more persuasively to a “windows Contrasting Texts of opportunity” understanding of the place of learning within the Jewish life In my most recent teaching of these cycle. The text itself is as much permis- texts to a group of graduate students at sion for lapses and interludes with other Siegal College, I noted that the cadence concerns as a rallying cry for life-long of each text is carried by a different Jewish learning happening with equal grammatical/syntactical structure. intensity across the whole life-cycle. Nouns (representing achievements) are 3. Ben Tema and Confucius: On the core of the Ben Tema text. Adjec- the surface at least, Confucius’s view tives describing the appearances of the is all about the ascent to wisdom with people/players on life’s stage are at the little of life’s detours and other preoc- center of the Shakespeare text. Verbs cupying and competing virtues that we reflecting states of being capture the see in the Ben Tema text. I have been movement through the life cycle in the struck by the keen interest teens often Confucius text. show in this text. I believe the single- More generally, viewing these texts mindedness of the text is the source of in the sharp cultural relief provided by attraction. Given life’s very real bumps the comparisons leads me to three “big and detours (many of which they are picture” comments: beginning to experience) I believe the 1. Shakespeare and Ben Tema: simplicity of doing one thing extraor- Would one expect anything less of dinarily well — pursuing and achieving Shakespeare than a wonderful aesthetic wisdom — seems more appealing than eye? The focus on the body and the either the circular return to our first physicality of life’s changes help one re- physical condition in Shakespeare or alize by comparison and contrast what the somewhat uneven plateaus pro- a relatively academic and intellectual jected in the Ben Tema text. portrait of the life cycle we find in the As a hashkafa (worldview), how- Ben Tema text. ever, the Ben Tema text is a powerful 2. Ben Tema as text and proof text: reminder that life-long Jewish learning Within the Ben Tema text one notes is always about the complex blends of alternating cycles of formal learning, living and learning that constitute our applying learning to life-experience Jewish world. Akiva’s and Tarfon’s stu- and just living. The sub-cycles within dents will later have it out regarding the the text itself (study leading to action priority of study or action. Ben Tema leading to wisdom leading eventually will remind us implicitly that Judaism

72 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist prizes both. And rabbis, educators and cendance,” that can go well into the lay leaders will alternately lift cups of 80s and 90s for people blessed with 3 wine and toast l’hayim. to the rich com- relatively good health. This under- plexity of our task, or secretly envy the standing may be available to Jewish apparently simpler educational task of chaplains specializing in geriatrics or a Christian or Confucian educator edu- institutionally embraced at Hiddur: cating towards faith or enlightenment. The Center for Aging and Judaism of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Living with Ben Tema College, but it has hardly entered the everyday the thinking of most rabbis, Ultimately, Jews experience the Ben educators and lay-leaders. Again, we Tema text as our text in a way that is either wittingly or unwittingly let Ben different from the Shakespeare or Con- Tema and Shakespeare serve as our fucius texts. So how do we work with guide, expecting that the ninth and the Ben Tema text? It is clear to me that tenth decades of a Jew’s life will be ones the text needs to be reconstructed in of shuakh, bending and dissipation. order to live. I am particularly troubled that we actually (and ironically) allow Programmatic Strategies the text to serve as a guide when it comes to thinking about the question I take it as axiomatic that life-long of when life-long Jewish learning begins Jewish learning is linked to life-long (age five) and ends for all practical pur- Jewish living. How then do we pro- poses (age 80). Despite the elevation of mote this journey of Jewish living and early-childhood Jewish education to a learning?4 I suggest that there are three higher place on the Jewish communal different strategies that we can deploy agenda, we are still likely to think life- for this purpose of movement through long Jewish learning means adding a the life cycle. A wise rabbi, educator or few tot-Shabbat programs for kids and lay leader — even before reaching the parents. The full impact of the revolu- ages of “discernment and wisdom” of tion in brain research about the creation forty or fifty — can utilize these strate- of early memories in Jewish neural gies eclectically and in a balanced way circuitry has hardly been incorporated depending on his or her own skills and into our planning.2 By default we begin internal resources as well as those of his life-long Jewish learning just as Ben or her community. I call these strategies Tema suggested at age five (or worse yet, staged conflict, environmental design eight or nine) when the child becomes and immersion, and intergenerational part of a synagogue school. learning. We have a good deal of catching up at the other end of the life cycle as Staged Conflict: well. Joan Erikson revised her husband Erik’s understanding of the life-cycle A line of developmentalists that to include a ninth stage, “gerotrans- includes Jean Piaget (cognitive devel-

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 73 opment), Lawrence Kohlberg (moral the ten-year-old will be allowed to focus development) and James Fowler (faith on the possibility that only the (first, development) have argued that the silent letter) aleph of the word anokhi schemas for our intellectual, moral and (“I am” [the Lord your God…], the first religious lives are fluid in a way that is word of the Decalogue) was revealed. both dynamic and fragile. We are crea- The challenge for the educator working tures who can grow into new structures in this mode is not to present the entire for experiencing and interpreting the shivim panim (seventy faces) of Torah, world. The key to such growth might but the correlation of a particular face be called “moderate novelty.” If we with a particular developmental stage. are exposed, says Kohlberg, to moral More indirectly, the educator has a reasoning that is below our stage of second role as intergenerational shad- comprehension we are remarkably khan (matchmaker).The rich chemistry unengaged in that reasoning. If our of different structures of experience exposure is to reasoning that is several and understanding is best unleashed stages beyond us, we are bewildered through exposure to other learners at and uncomprehending. Exposure to other stages of development. Creating moral reasoning one stage beyond the community of learners where an ours (“moderate novelty”) is a doable individual will experience these devel- stretch, and challenges us to think (and opmentally differentiated perspectives arguably to act) in more sophisticated becomes the educational challenge. ways. In the world of Jewish education, Once created the role of the educator is Moral Development for the Jewish Educa- more facilitative than pedagogic. tor by Earl Schwartz remains a leading example of such thinking.5 Environmental Design The value of cross-age teaching and and Immersion more generally intergenerational learning flows from this particular under- Anyone who has attended an ulpan, standing of human development. Here a Jewish summer camp, or studied at a the educator has both direct and indi- yeshiva knows the strategy of environ- rect roles. Directly, the educator who mental design and immersion. The key is tuned in to a child or adult’s present to moving through the life cycle lies stage of development will creative in creating “hot-house” environments disequilibrium by asking a stretching where the learning is of great intensity question or exposing the learner to the and earnestness. Only by reaching such new cognitive structure. A ten-year-old, points within a given stage of develop- for instance, who pictures matan torah ment will the seeds for moving on to (the giving of the Torah) in one way another stage of Jewish living be prop- only will be exposed to a midrash calcu- erly sown and later reaped. In contrast lated to present a new way of thinking with the “managed conflict” strategy about God. Instead of the polysyllabic I have outlined above, the key for the revelation of the entire Torah, perhaps immersion method is not exposure to

74 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist a higher stage of development but the in their congregation, or might switch maximal engagement at a student’s cur- the hours of religious instruction from rent stage. The process of moving on to school to shabbatonim out of a belief the next stage will presumably happen that “business-as-usual” religious school of its own accord. lacks the quality and intensity to move Mordecai Kaplan believed deeply in our learners forward in their Jewish such a strategy at a communal level. The journey. following excerpt from the chapter on The designer of immersive educa- “Jewish Education” in Kaplan’s Judaism tional environments will have an abid- as a Civilization still motivates many ing belief that designing educational of us as a dream for an organic Jewish “greenhouses” where learning can occur community with many entryways and holistically and from many different much intensity along any trail. angles is the key to the organic Jew- ish educational environments Kaplan Jews must abandon the notion suggests. (To use the camp example: in that the Jewish school, or the class the bunk, through the peer group, in for adults, is the primary conveyor collective Jewish living.) of Jewish education. The mistake of limiting education to formal Intergenerational Education: instruction is the primary cause Becoming an Entrepreneur of the complete failure and break- down of the Jewish educational Webster’s Dictionary defines an en- endeavor. . . . The solution lies in trepreneur as “a person who organizes altering completely the conception and manages a business, assuming the of the Jewish educative process, and risk for the sake of the profit.” This in learning to regard formal class- definition characterizes the mind-set of room instruction as only one link many people who engage in the work of in a chain of agencies, which must family and intergenerational learning. be instrumental in transmitting The “risk” element is the messiness of the Jewish heritage to the young. managing complex intergenerational All organizations and institutions, chemistries, learning styles and devel- which represent the body of Jew- opmental stages. Some of the worst ish life and manifest the Jewish educational programs I have ever wit- collective will-to-live should make nessed came about in this venue, with provision for training the young so all learners leaving frustrated because that they will ultimately take over no one educational age/stage cohort these activities.6 had been properly targeted. (Tafasta meruba, lo tafasta — reaching for ev- A rabbi, educator or lay leader who erything one gets nothing.) believes that this is the path to greatest The potential benefit of the entrepre- Jewish growth might create week-long neurial model is captured in a drash by summer or winter camps or ulpanim my mentor and colleague Dr. Norman

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 75 Newberg about the life work of Erik development they encountered down Erikson. Near the end of his career, the road. (The programs mentioned Erikson (and perhaps even more so above are described in greater detail in his wife Joan) came to believe that you the chapter on “Intergenerational Re- could not have a healthy movement ligious Education” in Growing Together through the life-cycle if you did not eds. Schein and Schiller.) have rich exposure to all stages of the life-cycle well before reaching the stage Pushing the Practical Envelope at which you were. We need constantly to experience where we are headed in If we can grant that each of these our life and in our Jewish journey. We three modes (staged conflict, immer- equally need to review the road we sion and intergenerational learning) has have traveled. (In a more program- its own validity as a form of promoting matic context, the Christian educa- Jewish growth across the life-cycle, we tor James White trenchantly critiques are left with an enormous practical stage focused strategies as a form of dilemma. On what basis does a rabbi, “ageism.”) educator or lay leader choose one over In accepting this critique and chal- another? The dilemma is doubly challenge I became an entrepreneur of the lenging because each of these three Jewish and human life cycle. I looked modes is itself labor-intensive. It is for every conceivable context for tak- much easier to program as usual with ing age-separate education and turning long-inherited paradigms of religious it into a more comprehensive context school, early childhood education and for intergenerational Jewish education. adult learning driving the congrega- Whether it was 7th graders partnering tion. with kindergarteners as their haverim. In truth, there is no “silver bullet” and mentors in Jewish prayer, families here in regard to life-long Jewish learn- rather than individuals developing a ing. There is little empirical evidence to bar/bat mitzva d’var Torah, or seniors suggest that moving in one direction being trained as Hebrew tutors for over another is more efficacious. If, children in the religious school the for instance, we think of the impact meta-goal was always larger than the of staged conflict as a strategy, we im- rich learning that accompanied the mediately come up against the reality activities. that both general and Jewish education The goal was to create wholeness has a paucity of longitudinal research. out of the often-splintered stages of We simply don’t know the long range the Jewish and general life-cycles. In impact of being exposed to the kind the short run, this often led to good of moral and religious dialogue that educational experiences. It is hoped from the point of view of a particular that it made a small contribution to paradigm pushes us to new ways of the learners moving more meaning- believing and behaving. fully through the new stages of human Hence, our tool chest of sophis-

76 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist ticated evaluation tools and well- Summing Up grounded research is generally sparse. Similarly, most of our accounts of the In this article, I have attempted to: impact of immersive environments 1. Explore alternative conceptualiza- like Israel trips, camps and ulpanim are tions of the human life-cycle embedded anecdotal. And if Jewish education has in text from different cultural contexts invested heavily (as it has) in family and (Confucius, Shakespeare, and Judah intergenerational learning as creative Ben Tema); and responses to perceived continuity crises 2. Suggest three different modes of we still know little about the empirical stimulating Jewish growth across the effects of such programming. life-cycle embodied in staged conflict, immersive/environmental design learn- Thematic Learning: ing and intergenerational learning. Synergy and Integration It may already be clear to the reader that there was a third “meta-goal” as Lacking full confidence in a single well. I want very much to open up methodology, and believing that each of dialogue about new ways of thinking these approaches has potency, I suggest about life-long Jewish learning and that educational leaders look toward the living. My concern is that we run the creation of conscious synergy between risk of trivialization if valuable (even these modes. One way of creating such holy) concepts such as life-long Jewish synergy is thematic learning as a way of learning are invoked but not analyzed. integrating the power of each mode. I also believe that a body of educational Such learning is often values-based and midrash about successful practices in captured by the Hebrew phrase iyyun each of the three realms would be of (an issue or idea to be explored). great value to the emerging field of What I’m suggesting, however, is adult/life-long Jewish learning. more along the lines of a shnat iyyun Obviously, nothing here is beyond (year-long learning) rather than the critique. The very invocation of a devel- more familiar yom iyyun, day of the- opmental perspective of staged conflict matic inquiry. It would be initiated and will, for instance, invite a feminist cri- ended by immersive learning experi- tique in the name of Carol Gilligan and ences that were also intergeneration- others that a male view of the life cycle al (a shabbaton or retreat beginning is implicitly guiding the discussion.9 and ending the experience). In be- In another context, a long and fruitful tween, dialogue would occur in age/ debate might ensue. stage specific and intergenerational formats. (A programmatic outline of Situated Knowing such a shnat iyyun focused on the theme of Jewish hope and messianism can be Perhaps it is helpful to conclude by found at www.siegalcollege.edu/jewish- drawing something from the feminist learning.) lexicon in terms of the importance of

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 77 “situated knowing.”10 More specifically, 1. “Side by side” does not imply equal much of the impetus for this work weight within each tradition. I don’t claim comes from a challenge issued to me to be a scholar of either Confucian tradi- by my wife Deborah, who is a teacher tion or of Shakespeare though I have had of early childhood educators. During a conversations with such scholars in regard sabbatical year in 2001-2002, Deborah to how “representative” these selections are of the worldview of Shakespeare and visited Reggio Emilia, Italy, the center Confucius. It is also the case that tradi- for the Reggio Emilia approach to early tional Jewish commentary will assign a very childhood education, which has capti- specific rather than a broadly metaphorical vated many progressive early-childhood meaning to a particular life stage and task educators in North America. Based on (twenty for levitical service rather than any her work there, Deborah suggested that kind of livelihood and fifty for leaving that the work I had been doing in family service for instance rather than the advise education and adult learning all these giving stage of life) Here, I present them years and her work in early childhood for their heuristic value in a spirit once were really different facets of a single suggested by the scholar Emile Fackenheim, continuum of Jewish learning. that in looking at these traditions one Out of that insight, Deborah and engenders a “mutually critical” dialogue where one understands the unique cultural I have begun to develop seminars en- emphasis , strength, and “inattentions” of titled “The 100 Languages of Children each tradition. Meet the Seventy Faces of Torah and 2. William Craine, Theories of Human De- Four Questions of Life-Long Jewish velopment: Concepts and Applications (New Learning,” which we have taught at Jersey, Prentice Hall, 2000). Siegal College in Cleveland, the an- 3. Joan Erikson, “Gerotranscendence” in nual conference of the Coalition for The Life-Cycle Completed, Erik Erikson, Advancement of Jewish Education New York, Norton 1982. (CAJE), the Reconstructionist Rab- 4. A more general and academic way of binical College, several synagogue com- framing this question might be: how does munities as scholars in residence, and at one promote human/Jewish development? the Leo Baeck College and Center for How does one promote growth in the sense of moving from one stage to the text? I note Jewish Education in London. Many of two arguments with the very task that I the insights in this article derive from have bracketed. One is mah rabu ma-asekha teaching those seminars. Adonai, how great are all of God’s creations. Not surprisingly we end up with If we’d just step back and step aside, the more questions than answers. We are natural forces that make for salvation will still searching for the larger whole facilitate the movement quite well. — undoubtedly part of the mystery of A quite opposite argument also under- the human/Jewish life cycle — to which mines my framing of the task: namely, that even integrated family/early childhood/ the very nature of development is hierar- intergenerational are only a part. chically suspect. In a totally “constructiv- ist”/deconstructionist world the challenge I am musing about is the wrong one. Why I

78 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist favor a modified form of developmentalism tion (New York: Shocken, 1934). where the challenge for the rabbi or educa- 7. James Whitem, Intergenerational Reli- tor has a strong role in moving individual gious Education (Birmingham: Religious and community through a healthy Jew- Education Press, 1987). ish/human life cycle is a long story. Here 8. Jeffrey Schein and Judy Schiller, Growing I am simply clarifying the context for my Together: Resources, Programs, and Experi- assumptions. ences for Jewish Family Education (Denver: 5. Earl Schwartz, Moral Development: A ARE, 2001). Practical Guide for Jewish Teachers (Denver: 9. Carol Gilligan, In a Different Voice, ARE, 1983). The book is currently out (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, of print but may be available via online 1982). booksellers. 10. Mary Belenke, et. al., Womens’ Ways of 6. Mordecai Kaplan, Judaism as A Civiliza- Knowing (New York: Basic Books, 1986).

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 79 Emancipation and Modernity

After Emancipation: Jewish Religious Responses to Modernity by David Ellenson (Cincinnati: Hebrew Union College Press, 2004)

Reviewed by Reena Sigman Friedman

avid Ellenson’s After Emancipa- reflect Ellenson’s scholarly and practi- tion: Jewish Religious Responses cal concerns as both a modern Jewish Dto Modernity is a fine collection historian and president of the Hebrew of essays that sheds light on the often Union College-Jewish Institute of Re- challenging transition of Jews into the ligion. They demonstrate his erudition modern era. The essays address a wide and versatility, as well as the breadth of range of topics, including, for example: his intellectual interests. Some of the the debate between early Reformers and essays are most suitable for scholars traditionalists over the use of an organ in the field and college and graduate in the Hamburg Temple, the early (especially rabbinical) students; others curriculum of the Jewish Theological would appeal to the general public. Seminary of America and the views of This collection brings material that has some Orthodox rabbinic authorities on previously appeared in various scholarly artificial fertilization. journals and volumes to the attention While the author’s major focus is of a wider audience. on the evolution of the various Jewish religious movements in 19th-century Movements in Context Germany, he extends the scope of his studies into the 20th century and Ellenson appropriately sets the de- beyond, and to the United States and velopment of the Reform, Orthodox Israel, including a discussion of the and Positive-Historical movements ways in which gender issues have been within their historical context: po- addressed in 20th-century responsa litical emancipation, secularization and recently published prayerbooks. and modernization in 19th-century Throughout, Ellenson displays a non- Western and Central Europe. Jews, judgmental approach and a respectful like the population as a whole, were appreciation for the valuable contribu- powerfully affected by the political, tions made by all Jewish religious move- economic, social and cultural trends ments to the development of modern of the time. As Jews became citizens Judaism. of their respective countries, they were Written in a lucid style, these essays expected to surrender much of their tra-

Dr. Reena Sigman Friedman is Associate Professor of Modern Jewish History at the Reconsructionist Rabbinical College.

80 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist ditional communal structure, including discussed in these essays will be famil- judicial autonomy. They were also iar to students of modern Jewish his- profoundly influenced by seculariza- tory, Ellenson explores aspects of the tion, which sociological theory defines story that are not addressed as fully or not as the absence of religion, but the pointedly elsewhere. His comparative restriction of religion to more limited analyses of the Jewish religious move- spheres in the lives of individuals and ments highlight both the differences communities. among them and what they have in The process of modernization led to common. The author recognizes that a bifurcation between the public and in the 19th century (as well as now), a private realms, resulting in the increased range of opinions existed within each privatization of religion. This, in turn, movement. Ellenson profiles individu- promoted greater religious pluralism als who were able to reach across the and voluntarism; individuals could divides of Jewish life to connect with choose among a variety of religious op- other segments of the community. The tions. Jews modified their communal author views 19th-century Germany structures and religious formulations to as the crucible in which various Jewish accommodate the new realities. religious approaches were forged. He In describing the confrontation shows how the roots of contemporary between Judaism and modernity, El- Jewish religious discourse can be traced lenson draws significantly upon mod- back to this formative period. ern sociological theory, as developed Ellenson draws mainly upon two by Max Weber, Ferdinand Tönnies and types of source material for his com- others. He especially acknowledges the parative studies: liturgy and responsa contributions of his mentor, the famed literature. He illustrates the ways in historian Jacob Katz, who pioneered which liturgy serves as both a forum in the application of sociological con- for creative religious expression and structs to the field of modern Jewish a battleground for opposing religious history. In so doing, Katz was able views. As he observes,

. . . to illuminate with unparal- . . . With the advent of modern leled clarity what was at stake in Jewish religious denominational- the transition of Judaism from the ism in 19th-century Germany, medieval to the modern world. It the production of new siddurim is Jacob Katz who provided the increased markedly . . . Jews . . . conceptual framework that has encountered a constant stream of dominated the writing of the mod- new prayer books as rabbis of ev- ern Jewish experience (51; 66). ery denominational stripe on both sides of the Atlantic employed Differences and Similarities the siddur as a major vehicle for making their own doctrinal state- While many of the general themes ments. The impulse to utilize the

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 81 siddur for such programmatic important differences among Jewish expression has continued unabated religious movements in 19th-century throughout the 20th century, and Germany. Those often-bitter struggles Hebrew liturgical creativity has paved the way for later polemics over flourished until the present mo- ideology and practice that have persist- ment (473). ed to this day. In “Traditional Reactions to Modern Jewish Reform,” Ellenson In a separate section of the book, explains that Orthodox leaders such as the author also analyzes responsa writ- Rabbis Moses Sofer and Jacob Ettlinger ten by Orthodox rabbis on a variety of attacked the early Reformers not only subjects. This time-honored genre of on matters of religious practice, but rabbinic literature can, in Ellenson’s on belief as well. In fact, he maintains, opinion, serve as a useful guide for faith and dogma, often associated with contemporary Jews on all points of the Reform ideology, were equally impor- religious spectrum: tant to the Reformers’ Orthodox opponents. Orthodox leaders charged that Ours is an age where the coercive the Reformers denied the divinity of power that formerly characterized Jewish law and therefore were heretics the political structure of the me- and a sect apart from the community dieval Jewish community has dis- of Israel. According to Ellenson, solved, and the religious certainty that formerly informed so many This emphasis (on dogma) allowed in prior ages now appears to be the Orthodox to distinguish them- elusive. In such an age, Jews may or selves from every variety of Liberal may not assign responsa literature Judaism and provided them with the authority that it once possessed a warrant for their refusal to cede and such literature may or may not even a modicum of legitimacy to be considered definitive or binding. religious Reform. This posture Nevertheless, it remains a crucial has remained the foundation for resource for the expression of Jew- Orthodoxy’s principled objection ish teachings and a fundamental to religious Reform up to the pres- part of our patrimony as Jews . . . ent day (182). Responsa . . . aid us in our search for a renewal of contemporary In delineating the differences among Jewish life rooted in the resources the various streams of Judaism, El- provided by a common Jewish lenson points to the significance of heritage in an authentic Jewish what he refers to as “markers” that idiom (421). identified synagogues with a particular movement. In 19th -century Germany, Struggles and Sects it was the presence of an organ more than anything else that distinguished Ellenson does not minimize the Liberal synagogues from their more

82 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist traditional counterparts. The organ on the program of the Breslau Jewish was first introduced by Reformers in Theological Seminary, the author offers the Hamburg Temple in the early 19th an insightful comparison with the cur- century, provoking a bitter debate with ricula of both Hebrew Union College the traditionalists. Both proponents (HUC) and Yeshiva College (YC) in and opponents referred to the use of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. an organ in the Maisel Synagogue in He points to initial similarities, but also Prague in the late 17th century, but to eventual divergences in curricular drew different conclusions from this emphases that reflected deep-seated precedent. ideological differences among the In subsequent decades, tensions movements. intensified. In fact, a codicil was ap- Although JTS and HUC began pended to the diplomas of graduates with fairly parallel programs of study, of the Orthodox rabbinical seminary JTS continued to emphasize rabbinic in Berlin, stipulating that if they served literature (Talmud and Codes), while congregations that used an organ either HUC later stressed Bible (especially the on Shabbat or weekdays, their ordina- prophetic writings) and downplayed tion would be annulled. (Ellenson Talmud. (Because of its early anti-Zi- includes the text of the codicil, never onist stance, HUC also did not offer before published in English transla- modern Hebrew until 1923, during Ju- tion.) lius Morgenstern’s presidency.) At JTS, biblical criticism was not employed un- The American Context til later in its history (although critical scholarship was applied to other texts), “Markers” distinguished differ- while HUC used critical scholarship in ent types of congregations in other biblical studies as well. YC, on the other countries as well. For example, in the hand, prided itself on nearly exclusive United States toward the end of the Talmud study, with very few courses 19th century, as historian Jonathan offered in other subjects. JTS gave Sarna has pointed out, mixed seating, little attention to practical rabbinics, the absence of kippot and tallitot and the introducing a few such courses only in presence of an organ and mixed choir 1919. While the ideological positions identified synagogues as Reform rather of the three movements are well known, than Orthodox. it is revealing to see how these played Turning to the American context, out in terms of rabbinic training. Ellenson explores key distinctions among Jewish religious movements Responding to through the prism of curricula devel- Common Concerns oped by the various rabbinical schools. Focusing on the early curriculum of Though the various Jewish religious the Jewish Theological Seminary of movements developed distinctive ap- America (JTS), which was modeled proaches during this period, there were

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 83 important similarities among them as between Jews and other nations. The well. These parallels stemmed from the consensus between these two thinkers fact that leaders of all of the movements helps explain why Reform and the Posi- were responding to the same trends in tive-Historical School did not develop the larger environment, particularly into separate movements in Germany, emancipation and acculturation. Many but rather became two branches of what scholars have recognized that several was known as Liberal Judaism. German Orthodox leaders, such as Rabbis Samson Raphael Hirsch and Diversity within Movements Esriel Hildesheimer, had much in common with their Reform counter- Ellenson’s studies highlight both parts. Like many acculturating Jews of the complexity of the movements and their time, they wore European-style the multiplicity of viewpoints within clothes, spoke German and modified each of them. For example, in many their religious services by introducing of these essays, Reformers, especially choirs, sermons in German and deco- in the early 19th century, emerge as rum. Ellenson demonstrates, however, more traditional than we might expect, that the traditionalists’ immersion in while Orthodox spokesmen are not as German culture went beyond such uniform or strident in their views as we externals. S.R. Hirsch, for example, might imagine. Thus, the author shows applied Kantian philosophy in some how early Reformers in Amsterdam of his biblical commentaries; Hirsch, were extremely respectful of tradition, no less than the Reformers, looked to as reflected in their liturgical publica- German philosophy to defend Judaism tions. His analysis of Melitz Yosher, a in his time. pamphlet published in 1808 explaining Ellenson also points out that Abra- the liturgical practices of the new Adat ham Geiger, the major theoretician of Yeshurun congregation, established in German Reform, and Manuel Jöel, 1797, is a case in point. The congrega- associated with the Positive-Histori- tion was founded by younger Jewish cal School, were not far apart, ideo- intellectuals who had split off from logically, as seen in a comparison of the the existing Ashkenazic community. prayerbooks that they authored. Jöel, They instituted a service with greater who succeeded Geiger as rabbi of the decorum, a rabbinic sermon and some Breslau community, was charged with Sephardic-style aesthetics, but one that revising Geiger’s 1854 prayerbook. was otherwise quite traditional. Jöel’s version, published in 1872, was Ellenson presents a range of Ortho- very similar to that of his predecessor. dox rabbinic opinion regarding the Both siddurim retained much of the issue of women’s suffrage and political traditional liturgy, although they de- office-holding in the yishuv (Jewish leted certain phrases that the authors settlement in pre-state Palestine). He viewed as derogatory references to non- analyzes selected responsa by Rabbis Jews, as well as invidious distinctions Abraham Isaac Ha-Kohen Kook, Ben-

84 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist Zion Meir Hai Ouziel and Isaac Halevi This essay on women’s suffrage in the Herzog over the period from 1920- yishuv is one of several in the volume 1948. Kook served as Chief Rabbi of (particularly those analyzing responsa) the yishuv from 1921-1935, Ouziel that address women’s equality and served as the first Chief Sephardic gender issues. For example, a 1941 Rabbi from 1939-1953, and Herzog responsum by Orthodox Rabbi Zal- was elected as Kook’s successor in 1936, man Sorotzkin regarding women and and served as Chief Ashkenazic Rabbi Torah study presents highly traditional from 1937 to 1959. arguments in support of women’s study of both the Written Law and parts of Including Jewish Women the Oral Law. The responsum served as an important guide for subsequent Surprisingly, Rav Kook, writing in Orthodox spokesmen, ultimately pro- 1920, when the issue of women’s suf- viding more opportunities for women frage was first debated in the yishuv, to engage in such study. opposed women’s participation in Ellenson also has high praise for the public political life. He viewed such a Va’ani Tefillati siddur (recently pub- step as antithetical to Jewish law and lished by the Israeli Masorti movement) tradition, which mandated particular for its innovations related to gender. roles for men and women. Ouziel fa- Among these are the inclusion of the vored complete equality for women in imahot (matriarchs) as an option in the the political realm, because, he argued, opening of the Amida prayer, naming there was no halakhic reason to prohibit ceremonies for baby girls, an illustra- women from voting. He declared that tion of a woman donning tefillin and women were intelligent, created in reference to both parents in connection God’s image and should not be denied with the blessings for the brit mila this basic human right. ceremony. Moreover, Ellenson offers Herzog, though personally opposed a positive evaluation of poet Marcia to granting women the vote for reli- Falk’s The Book of Blessings: New Jewish gious reasons, ultimately spoke out Prayers for Daily Life, The Sabbath and in favor of it, based on practical con- the New Moon Festival (1996), a work siderations. He believed that women’s with a pronounced feminist bent. suffrage was inevitable in the modern Ellenson devotes attention to Re- world, and that the Orthodox com- constructionism in several of these munity must accept that fact in order essays. He notes that the movement to maintain its political influence in the broke new ground in assigning religious new state. Thus, Ellenson points out, significance to American holidays, and even among Orthodox leaders, there credits Reconstructionism, along with were pronounced differences of opinion Reform and Conservative Judaism, on important issues, such as women’s with promoting an egalitarian vision political participation in the emerging of women’s participation in public State of Israel. Jewish religious life. In his discussion

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 85 of Va’ani Tefillati, Ellenson compares its tionist approach in this regard. approach to various issues with those Although there are references to of the Reconstructionist prayerbook Reconstructionism throughout this Kol Haneshamah, as well as siddurim book, the movement’s history and de- published by other movements. velopment could have been explored in greater depth. In particular, the ad- Liturgy and Ideology dition of an appendix dealing with the curriculum of the Reconstructionist In an essay exploring the treatment Rabbinical College (RRC) would have of traditional prayers for rain (the enriched Ellenson’s essay comparing the gevurot geshamim and tal umatar) in curricula of JTS, HUC, and YC. While the siddurim of Abraham Geiger and the founding of RRC in 1968 is beyond Isaac Mayer Wise, Ellenson com- the chronological scope of the curricula ments on the position taken in the Kol essay, which extends only through the Haneshamah prayerbooks. The prayers 1930s, such an afterword might have for rain are inserted into the Amida discussed later developments in all of with seasonal variations, based on the the rabbinical seminaries, including agricultural cycle of the land of Israel. RRC, where the curriculum also has re- Geiger, as noted above, was the major flected the movement’s core ideology. theoretician of German Reform, and Isaac Mayer Wise was the chief orga- Transcending Differences nizer of Reform Judaism in America. Both Geiger and Wise had difficulty Ellenson clearly appreciates the dis- with the Israel-centric nature of these tinctive approaches of the movements prayers. They decided to retain the and what each has to contribute to the passages in their siddurim (Geiger’s was richness of Jewish life. However, his published in 1870 and Wise’s Minhag heroes appear to be individuals who America in 1857), but to recite them remained firm in their own religious as fixed elements rather than seasonal convictions but were nevertheless ca- insertions. pable of transcending ideological dif- Ellenson explains that, in contrast, ferences to embrace the broader Jewish the Reconstructionist Kol Haneshamah community. Nehemiah Anton Nobel, a

Limot Hol. siddur (1996) includes these well known rabbi in Frankfurt during passages, to be recited at the traditional the Weimar period, was such a person. times. “In so doing,” he concludes, “the Nobel was a staunch traditionalist who authors of this siddur have consciously often critiqued the activities of Reform- affirmed the centrality the reborn Jew- ers, yet he proved willing and able to ish state has for contemporary Jews” relate to all segments of the Jewish com- (235). He observes that other liberal munity. He was opposed to Orthodox movements in the Diaspora, more uni- separatism, as had been championed versalist in their orientations, might by Samson Raphael Hirsch, and advo- choose not to follow the Reconstruc- cated for united Jewish communities.

86 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist Nobel served as president of the Gen- should focus on a figure like Nehemiah eral German Rabbinical Association, Nobel, since he is clearly committed to which included both Orthodox and similar goals. Even his choice of subject Liberal rabbis. Admired for his warm matter ranges over the Jewish religious and charismatic personality, he had a spectrum and demonstrates his plural- following of young Jewish intellectuals istic outlook. In tracing the history of and influenced large numbers of Ger- the movements, Ellenson encourages man Jews through his lectures at the greater mutual understanding and tol- Frankfurt Lehrhaus, a famed institute erance among contemporary Jews. As for adult Jewish education. historian Michael Meyer points out in Nobel eloquently expressed his views his foreword to the book, in 1897, early in his career: Although he is a fervent Reform I hold that a rabbi can fulfill his Jew, Ellenson is every bit as much task successfully only if he stands devoted to klal Yisrael. For him, above all parties within and out- modern religious Judaism in its side his community. He himself broad variety is a single whole must have a firm and unflinching . . . The essays included here do standpoint — one not given to not propagandize for a particular appeals — on all the religious is- point of view . . . (The author is sues of his time. For myself, this interested in) what Jewish life as standpoint is that offered by Juda- a whole can gain from many and ism in its historical tradition. This diverse sources. (10) alone seems to me to guarantee the proper development toward Antipodean Trends a sound future. But, I consider it my duty to examine every religious Ellenson is clearly concerned about trend within Judaism, to meet it the future of Judaism in America. In with objective arguments only, his essay “Judaism Resurgent” he points and to treat the representatives of to contradictory trends in American opposition movements and view- Jewish life today. On the one hand, points with the kind of respect we Jews appear to be better accepted and owe to ardent opponents. I want more visible in American life than to lay greater stress in my public ever before. They have been able to activities on that which unites dif- enter previously restricted professional ferent trends than on those causes fields and hold public office in greater which separate them . . . This is numbers. In addition, there are pockets my ideal of the rabbi as I see it, of highly committed Jews, and more and to strive for its realization is Jews feel comfortable asserting their my life task (263-64). Jewish identity and observing Jewish practices in public. On the other hand, It is not surprising that Ellenson the intermarriage rate is rising to un-

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 87 precedented levels, and many Jews ap- Nevertheless, the author is optimis- pear to be blending into the American tic that Jews will continue to respond mainstream. Ellenson concludes: creatively and effectively to the challenges of our time, as they always have American Jewry has thus entered in the past. Citing his teacher, Ellenson a postmodern situation with notes: antipodean trends: record rates of non-affiliation and abandon- As [Jacob] Katz would put it, ment of Jewish religion and iden- Judaism and the Jewish people tity are competing with intense did not simply collapse and expire pockets of Jewish commitment when they faced the challenges of and public expression . . . Jews the modern world . . . Instead, have been blessed with freedom both the Jewish community and in America. Such blessing has Jewish religion were reconfig- allowed for the strengthening ured and reinvented in light of a of Jewish commitment, values, changed cultural, social, political, and identity. At the same time, and religious order. Modernity did it has proven to be the solvent not simply foster assimilation. It in which a distinctive Jewish also promoted an integration and identity and values often dissolve adaptation that allowed Jews to . . . The story of Jewish resurgence create new ways — some more, in the United States during the some less successful — of being twentieth century is multivalent Jewish . . . (56; 60). and complex, and the adaptive capacity of the Jewish people will The 19th century, as David Ellenson surely continue to be tested in the has demonstrated, offers many models future (44; 49-50). of such creative adaptation, a process that continues to the present day.

88 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist From Self to Community Spiritual Community: The Power to Restore Hope, Commitment and Joy by David Teutsch (Jewish Lights Publishing, Woodstock, Vermont, 2005)

Reviewed by Speed B. Leas

avid Teutsch is an experi- aspect of community life). Instead, he enced rabbi, a scholar, former lifts up other dimensions of commu- Dpresident of the Reconstruc- nity life: vision, a focus on transcendent tionist Rabbinical College and former worth, discipline, responsibility and executive director of the Jewish Recon- values-clarification. I was pleased to see structionist Federation. From reading that he emphasizes many dimensions Spiritual Community, I can tell that the of community life and does not narrow author is a man who knows organiza- his discussion down to a “right answer” tions from the inside and has studied or a simple program that will put it all them as an academic. In this book, he together for a congregation. has brought together experience and In each chapter, Teutsch carefully research in a way that is at once engag- and clearly defines the dimension he ing, encouraging and pragmatic. is exploring, and then shares ideas that The book is a meditation on com- will help move a community toward munity. It is a celebration of, a study of living into that dimension in a mean- and an apology for community — real ingful way. I was especially engaged by community. Teutsch argues that real his section on “Taking Responsibility.” community is what should be at the He notes that in community we make heart of synagogues and churches, mutual demands on one another. which are his prime examples of how “Minding your own business” is indi- community gets lived out. vidualism at work (individualism, in this case, undermines community). Beyond Feelings One must speak up and call attention and Friendship to individual or organizational dysfunc- tion. Quoting from Leviticus, “Thou Teutsch is not romantic about com- shalt surely reprove,” he recommends munity; he avoids over-focusing on taking responsibility, even risking rela- warm feelings and friendships (though tionships, to make community work. he does not play down this important This is an irony that is at the heart of a

Speed B.Leas is a consultant to religious organizations and an educator of church leaders, including pastors, laity and church executives. From 1992 to 2004, he was Senior Consultant of The Alban Institute.

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 89 healthy congregation. In order for com- Another concept explored here is munity to work, one does not overlook commitment. Community does not problematic behavior; one addresses it just happen. Community involves in the hope of a better future. work, sacrifice and serious intentionality on the part of those who want Visioning to make it happen. One has to make room for community in his/her busy Another theme that captured my life and engage in activities that nurture attention is at the heart of Teutsch’s it. While the work to make it happen is discussion of visioning. Taking an idea significant, the rewards can be great. from sociologist Carl Sheingold (the current executive vice-president of Thoughtful Reflection the Jewish Reconstructionist Federa- tion), Teutsch says that a congregation Teutsch is a writer who has been in should have “radiant centers.” By this the trenches. He is not naive about con- he means persons, activities, programs gregational life and, thank goodness, he and worship that draw us into com- does not propose a nostrum guaranteed munity. Such a center could be, for to fix each ailment of a congregation. example, a wonderful teacher, a choir, His advice comes out of thoughtful re- a circle of people who provide support flection on his own experience and wide in time of crisis or a fellowship group. reading of the research of others. The Radiant centers create connection and reader of this book will not get a plan generate feelings of belonging; indeed, outlining where to start building com- they are tools of outreach. As radiant munity or a step-by-step schema for centers develop, more people who are putting it all together. It is not a user’s on the periphery of a community bask manual or a compendium of strategies in their warmth. These centers bring to guarantee organizational excellence. institutional vibrancy, programmatic It is more an apologia for community change and religious renewal. “Vision,” than a handbook. But if you are look- says Teutsch, “grows out of the raised ing for a gentle, thoughtful reflection expectations that come from living in on what real community can mean and a caring community energized by its some ideas about how to make it hap- radiant centers.” What a concept! pen, this book is for you.

90 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist Women of the Bible

The Women Who Danced by the Sea by Marsha Mirkin (Monkfish Book Publishing, 2004) Praise Her Works by Penina Adelman (Jewish Publication Society, 2005)

Reviewed by Margot Stein

ust when you thought you al- “Dinner Party” meeting the “Women’s ready knew everything there was Night in the Sukkah.” Jto know about the women of Each chapter of is Praise Her Works the Bible, along come two books that introduced with a text from Midrash cast our foremothers’ stories in a new HaGadol that links the line from Eshet

light. Hayil. to a specific biblical woman. The text is presented in Hebrew with an Women of Valor English translation. A brief synopsis of the biblical account follows, supple- In Praise Her Works, Penina Adelman mented by a commentary written by uses as her framework the twenty-two one of the contributors that explains “Women of Valor” found in Midrash how she understands the connection

HaGadol, a 13th-century Yemenite between the line in Eshet Hayil. and the collection of midrashim, which assigns designated story. one female biblical figure per line of The next section of this template the traditional Eshet Hayil. (“woman of allows the biblical woman to speak valor”) passage from the Bible (Proverbs in her own voice, expressing her own 31:10-31). (Working with a circle of previously unarticulated thoughts or women writers to uncover and expand clarifying some action or statement of upon these midrashim, Adelman adds hers that may have been misinterpreted Vashti to the list.) The writers develop by others through the intervening cen- a template for each chapter that gives turies. This is followed by a few brief voice to the selected text, the writer, paragraphs in which the woman of valor the specific “woman of valor,” and distills the message she wants the reader the wider world. The result is akin, in to take away from this encounter. The Adelman’s words, to Judy Chicago’s final section (“For Further Thought”)

Rabbi Margot Stein is a writer, composer and educator who specializes in teaching Judaism through the arts.

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 91 offers discussion questions and related well-known and fresh interpretations reading if one wishes to learn more. of each biblical woman and her story, An appendix gives the source text (in each speaking in her own voice, ranging Hebrew and in English) of Midrash from mundane to soaring and poetic. HaGadol’s commentary on Genesis Andrea Cohen-Kiener offers us a Yael

23:1, the Torah portion called Hayei. saturated in Tennessee Williams: “Hey Sara (the life of Sarah). An index of girls, I am probably what you would scriptural passages and a subject index think of as a southern girl.” Adelman’s add to this book’s utility as a reference Hannah endures words from her co- tool for research and teaching. wife that “chomped on (her) unwitting flesh and drew blood.” Marsha Mirkin Qualities and Commentaries shows us a banished Miriam, brimming with sadness as well as gratitude. The There are two dimensions to Praise reader is amply thanked for taking Her Works: it is part recorded ritual, the time to “listen” to these stories so and part in-depth tour of the unique carefully, a self-consciousness perhaps strengths of our female biblical ances- resulting from the book’s division into tors. Initially, Adelman was seeking part midrash, part study guide. source material for a ritual she wanted The most difficult task for the editor to create in honor of her daughter Laura and contributors was that each chap- becoming a bat mitzva, and the list of ter needed to follow the template, be twenty-three women of valor came alive coherent with the rest of the material, as she assigned to each of twenty-three and offer up nuggets of insight. As is female friends (girls and women) one of common in such collections, the qual- these biblical ancestors. Each was asked ity of each midrash depends somewhat to give the bat mitzva girl a blessing in on the individual contributor. the name of that biblical character, the How well the book succeeds de- sort of blessing the character herself pends on one’s purpose in reading it, might have given if she could have and upon the level of erudition one been present. brings to it. I would not hesitate to The second aspect of the book then recommend this book for adult study emerged from the first: each blessing groups, or for adults and teens seek- highlighted a unique human strength, ing to write divrei torah or life-cycle a particular gift and an approach to ceremonies. For the professional, the

meeting life’s challenges. Each woman occasional hidush. (innovative insight) of valor had a midda, a personal quality, provides a delightful twist on the bibli- to transmit as part of her legacy. The re- cal text. Go ahead and comb this book sult is an eclectic combination of styles to supplement your knowledge of such and voices, blended into a conversation little-known heroines as Hatzlelponi, that stretches from the time of the Bible the wife of Manoah (Judges 13), the to the present. widow from Tzaraphath (I Kings 17), The commentaries provide both Serakh (Genesis 46:17, Numbers 26:46

92 • Spring 2006 The Reconstructionist and I Chronicles 7:30) and the wife of our loved ones, and the Divine — so, Obadiah (II Kings 4). too, did our foremothers struggle with We can marvel at the realization these issues. The life of each sheds light that the rabbis of the 13th century on the lives of the others, helping the respected and admired the women in reader learn from the experiences of our their lives enough to imagine that their ancestors while better understanding biblical ancestors, both well-known those ancestors based on our own life and obscure, merited inclusion in their experiences. commentaries on Eshet Hayil.. These If the “cornerstones of mental health rabbis managed to uphold traditional are mutuality, empathy and authentic- texts while being quite (perhaps unin- ity” (xix), an understanding that un- tentionally) subversive, a combination dergirds Mirkin’s work as a relational which many of these women of valor and cultural family therapist, then might recognize with some mutual Eve eats the fruit in search of her own appreciation. budding authenticity, and an empathic God clothes this first couple before Psychological Perspectives they leave the Garden. Sarah abuses Hagar because, like so many women Marsha Mirkin draws upon her who suffer devastating infertility, she many years as a psychologist to re- feels defective and wishes to use Hagar imagine our biblical ancestors nego- as a vehicle for her own restoration. tiating relationships and growing into Rebecca, a survivor of childhood abuse maturity through the challenges they at the hands of Bethuel and Laban, face. She interweaves cases from her intuitively understands Isaac as a fellow psychotherapy practice, juxtaposing survivor, one damaged more than she. contemporary dilemmas with biblical Miriam must learn mutuality if she is tales, often to startling effect. to stop mothering Moses and instead Mirkin was busy thinking about become his sister. biblical women, being a contributor Rich with psychological insight, to Adelman’s Praise Her Works while these stories and the case studies that also working on her own exploration are interwoven serve to illuminate each of women’s lives in The Women who other in a fascinating journey through Danced by the Sea. In this book, Mir- time and back again. Although unher- kin examines stories of biblical women alded, the book also embraces such through the lens of psychology in “an tenets of feminism as non-gendered effort to cull meanings that promote God-language and the use of culturally our fullest emotional, spiritual and diverse case studies that casually feature social development and support both gay and lesbian couples, runaways, our growth-in-relationship and Tik- welfare mothers, high-powered career kun Olam” (xxii). Just as it is difficult women, anorexics, adult children of for us to create and sustain meaning- alcoholics, people with Alzheimer’s, ful relationships — with ourselves, cancer patients and more. Reflective,

The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 93 teeming with life and appreciative of leap off the page and begin to dance. each person’s experience, the stories Indeed, we are invited to dance along with them.

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The Reconstructionist Spring 2006 • 95