Issue 954 - Weekly Thursday January 28th 1999 MPs VOTE TO LOWER GAY SEX AGE OF CONSENT

P's have voted, by a of trust" law. It would be overwhelmingly. The matter massive majority to applied to anyone over the age now moves onto the House of STUDENT COUNCIL Mlower the age of sexu- of 18 who uses their position Lords. Last year they blocked al consent for gay men to 16. such as teacher, social worker a similar proposal. This time The bill will face a tougher etc. to procure sex from those with the mandate of publicly Tonight challenge when it is discussed younger than them elected MP's and a ruling of by the Lords. the European Court of Thursday 28th January 6pm LTD Shadow Home Secretary Sir Human Rights in it's favour Week 6 February 25th Home Secretary, Jack Straw Norman Fowler opposed the campaigners are very hopeful began the latest debate on the bill saying that the public of success. However the Week 10 March 25th issue on Monday saying it was considered gay sex to be Conservative leaders in the "a question of equality before "undesirable or unnatural." Lords, , who led the cam- the law. It is not in my personal paign against the reduction * Always Thursday view right for the law to dis- Liberal Democrat deputy last summer, insisted that criminate against those who are leader Alan Beith retorted their opinions and determina- * Always 6pm homosexual." "Moral disapproval on the part tion remain the same. * Always LTD of some people, however The bid to lower the age of con- strongly held, doesn't provide A Labour Party spokesman * Always Controversial sent is linked to a law, creating grounds for making private acts pointed out that if the a new sexual offence. The last into criminal offences. Government failed to introduce * Always Topical such debate raised fears of the measure the European Court teenage boys being at risk from The Commons debate ended would force it do so. The new * Always For You abuse. In the wake of this Jack with a free vote for MP's, in law, if passed by the lords, could Straw explained the new "abuse which the motion was carried be in place as early as May. * Always Worthwhile Room For Improvement

he system for cam- final year students. Over the known how many students sector alternatives, copies of pus room allocation last seven years the universi- want a room in their final which are also distributed to Thas undergone a long ty has not had sufficient year. The students distance all first years. Successful awaited change. It is a accommodation for all final who do not immediately applicants will not get a let- change which has been in year students. So whether or qualify will be entered into a ter in March. They will be the pipeline for the past two not a student got a room on ballot for the remaining informed in June of which years, and will be coming campus used to depend on rooms. The ballot will also accommodation they have into affect this year. First how far their home address be used to form the waiting been allocated. years will still be guaranteed was from the university. list. university accommodation, The new policy still allows It has been queried whether however the following all final years to apply but To apply for campus accom- these changes will mean groups have to apply; 2nd, selection will be on the basis modation, you need to visit that more final years will 3rd and final year students of where study or work the accommodation office have to live off campus. paying overseas fees, 3rd placements are situated dur- soon, fill in the yellow form The answer however is that and final year UK/ EU ing the spring semester and return it before 1st of the change in policy will undergraduates, 4th year before the final year. March. (Placement students not affect the number of UK/ EU M. Eng/ M. Phys Students who are on a place- may fax the form). final year students accom- undergraduates. ment at a location further Unsuccessful applicants will modated It is estimated than the qualifying distance get a letter informing them that next year about 55% of The change in policy that will get a room on campus. around the 15th of March students who apply will be The Comedy Network will have the greatest effect The qualifying distance will They will also receive a offered a place. What will is the way in which rooms be decided once all the copy of the accommodation vary is the eligibility of Monday 1st February 8pm HRB are allocated to UK/ EU applications are in and it is newspaper, listing private each student for university accommodation. News 1/2 n Union 3 n Feature 4 n Music 5/6 n Entertainments Guide 7 . n Notices & Personals 8 Opportunities & Crossword 9 n Films, Previes & Reviews n 10 Surrey Pride 11/12 2 News Thursday 10th December 1998 n

Pannell and Kam Loqueman last Finally I would like to clear up Editorial years respective Comms and any confusion caused by last News in Brief by James Buller Liaison Officers.It was good to weeks front page article ast Friday saw a final see them all and prove that there “Students Are Revolting”. The Just Met-Just Britain And The chance for prospective is life after a Sabbatical year. Greek School Childrens demon- Married Asylum Seekers Editor Lcandidates in this years Saturday played host to the stration against educational Tom Sherwen Sabbatical Elections (Feb15-19) BareFacts open day. Over 25 reform was marred by incidents A man and a women from The number of peo- to meet up with Sabbatical people came, keen to get of stones and fire bombs being Birmingham got married on ple seeking asylum in Britain ([email protected]) Officers from previous years. involved. If you missed it but thrown by masked protesters. Monday, just minutes after reached record levels in The evening was a great success would still like to write articles or These protesters were by no they met for the first time. 1998. The Government has and I hope that all those who review events then pop in to see means representative of the Cara Germaine, 23 a former pledged to deal with the Deputy Editor attended gained from the experi- me whenever. After Easter the march and contradicted chants model and Greg Cordell, 28 a problem, but the statistics Steven Alexander ences and horror stories that were first ever USSU Magazine will by both students and staff. The told. The evening progressed up be launched so if you want to get marchers beat drums and chanted sales manager entered a com- released this week show that ([email protected]) to the main Union for a packed involved, choose the name or “It won’t pass” and”Violence petition run by local radio they face a daunting task. first FNO back and yet more design the cover then please let won’t force education,” clapping station BRMB. 45,015 applications Arts Editor reminiscing took place. In atten- me know. Thanks to everyone and jumping all the way from the 200 candidates for asylum were made last dance were Ex- Presidents; who came on Saturday and even central Omonia Square to the Daniel Jones answered the station’s call for year, a 40% increase on 1997 Sharon Baker and Bob Moledina, more thanks to those who helped Greek parliament. I apologise for volunteers for the ultimate and beating the previous all ex Sports Officers Steve De Wint ([email protected]) organise the day. any offence caused. blind date. Contestants time peak achieved in 1991. and Cazza Betteridge, Matt underwent several aptitude The rise has been party attrib- News Editor Your Letters tests, background checks, uted to the crisises in the James Buller interviews and a lie detector. Balkans. Dear Sir, knowing people would direct “social justice” they should Finally Cara and Greg were It is the process of ([email protected]) their ire onto the principle of protest not for the abolition of matched by a panel including deciding whether to accept or I happened to be in Oxford on tuition fees, they intended to qui- tuition fees, which will provide astrologer Russell Grant. reject an application that Features Editor Friday 22 January (for no other etly abolish the maintenance much-needed funding for univer- With a pre-nuptial takes the time however. The reason than it is my home city) grant. Surely this is the real crux. sities, but for the reinstatement of Nick Walsh agreement signed and a sin- Home Office has said that and I witnessed the student Those whose parents earn under maintenance grants- money gle telephone conversation 64,770 cases are still pend- ([email protected]) demonstrations against the intro- £16,000 per annum, and who which is being syphoned off pre- their only prior contact, the ing. In 1998 a total of just duction of tuition fees. But surely might otherwise have struggled sumably to fund Jack pair prepared for the big day. 31,570 were completed. Laura Paskell-Brown and her to find £3,000 for a three-year Cunningham’s next supersonic Music Editor friends in the Socialist Worker’s course will not have to find that saunter aboard When While their applica- Andrew Thomas Party have missed the point. money under the present scheme. Concorde. Greg lifted Cara’s veil after tions are waiting to be heard, But the £1,000 which Tony Blair the ceremony it was the first immigrants are entitled to ([email protected]) The Dearing Report into the insists that they will therefore I heard no mention of grants on time he has seen her properly. claim benefits. Britain is financing of further education, save (they will not actually save Friday. This is consistent with the “I was gobsmacked. She is unique among European Sports Editor commissioned by the previous anything, not ha ing paid fees in fact that proportionally fewer stunning.” he said. countries in this respect. government, had two main rec- the first instance) is far exceeded Oxford students qualify for The newly wed Faced with an ever growing Paul Cliff ommendations. Firstly, that by the £3,500 average yearly grants, or have been affected by couple are due to take a hon- back log and social security ([email protected]) everyone, regardless of financial maintenance costs incurred by their demise. It seems to me that circumstances, should pay students. This money used to be the Oxford protesters, rather than eymoon in the Bahamas. bill the Government is set to £1,000 per annum to attend uni- provided by the state, but will being self-declared educational Upon their return they will act. Appeals severely prolong Commercial Manager versity. Secondly, that the main- now have to be found elsewhere. martyrs, are masking much self- have use of a Puma Sports an application and so the sys- Vacant tenance grant should remain at its A visit to the bank therefore interest behind their militant car and a luxury apartment - a tem for handling them is to 1997 levels. The Labour Party at ensures that, on the basis of state- political dogma. Not only that, package costing BRMB be reformed. Instead of cash ([email protected]) first vigorously opposed the incurred costs, these students but the entire student movement £50,000. benefits, claimants will short- report, but then changed their leave university with around has been blinded by the principle Church leaders con- ly receive only vouchers for minds just before the election. £10,000 worth of debt instead of of free education being revoked, £3,000 as they would have done without having examined closely demned the whole idea. food, clothes and toiletries. After the election, they changed had the Dearing Report been enough the practical details of the “Both marriage and the The Immigration Deadline for Publication their minds again. This time, implemented in full. situation. Protesting about the human beings involved are Service Union however has Monday 10am instead of the flat £1,000 rate, fees is all very well, but will too important to be manipu- presented it’s own damming they decided to levy the full Considering this, the political come to nothing. Those who do lated in this way,” they said in statistics. Their figures state £1,000 only on students whose rhetoric of Miss Paskell-Brown not pay will be expelled from the a joint letter of protest. that in the last ten years parents earned over £26,000 per and others looks both dubious system. Protesting about the 268,595 asylum seekers have Bare Facts is an editorially independent annum, leaving those on £16,000 and amateurish. They are arguing grants would be far fairer, more newspaper, published by the University come to the UK. Less than or less exempt from the fees alto- against tuition fees on the practical, and probably more Death Penalty finally of Surrey Students' Union 8% were made to leave, Communications Office. gether. Fair enough, you might grounds that poorer students will fruitful, but politically very awk- Abolished. The views expressed within the paper while nearly 60,000 are unac- are those of individual authors, and do think. But what you would have be put off applying to university. ward now that the student agenda not necessarily represent the views of missed, and what Labour Perhaps they will be- but not by has been so publicly focused on counted for. the Editor, the Editorial Board, the conveniently forgot to tell people tuition fees.If the Oxford stu- the issue of the fees. The United Kingdom has University of Surrey Students' Union or the University of Surrey. before the election, was that, dents are really concerned about Yours.,Simon Ashall abolished the death penalty in This publication may not be reproduced Britain once and for all. Fayed Continues in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, without the express Dear Barefacts, they find a place is not the on campus, and not just those Even though the last death Quest For Truth permission of the publisher. I am writing to complain about a answer - they are merely trying to paying high fees? Building more All submissions must include the author's penalty victim was hanged Mohammed al- name and Union or Staff Number. part of university life here that wash their hands of the problem. accommodation on campus nearly 35 years ago, the Fayed is offering a reward of Submission is no guarantee of has really annoyed me since the There is something the would solve the problem we have debate over the rights and up to £1m for anyone finding publication. latter part of my first year (I am university can do, however, in the here (see the scramble for the Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles wrongs of Capital the car involved in the crash will not be published. now a final year), something that vein of what’s been going on all new accommodation lists come Bare Facts reserves the right to edit I feel strongly about but, like around us all year. There’s the March), and bring in more rev- Punishment have often resur- which killed his son Dodi and submissions. many others I think, have not had room to do it, so why not build? enue to the university instead of faced. Most recently, in Diana Princess of Wales. the time or the commitment to do At the moment, pretty much all landlords. 1994, MPs voted 383 to 186 Traces of white Printed by anything about until now. The first and final years are guaran- Anyway, I am now against reintroducing it for paint from a Fiat Uno were East End Offset (TU), problem, of course, is ACCOM- teed places on campus, and also back on campus, which is great, people convicted of murder- found on the wreckage of the Bow, London, E3 3LT MODATION. It is something the all the second year’s foreign con- but why are we charge the same ing policeman and 403 to 159 limousine in which the cou- university, like many others, tingent, and rates for accommodation over against a more general rein- ple died. quite clearly does not care about most like to take this up, even vacation periods? Why not a 50% troduction. Fayed maintains his © USSU Communications - so long as they get their fees, though the rooms, especially rate - many rooms will obviously claim that the crash was no Office 1998 who cares where the students Guildford Court, are barely big go free over these periods and live? Who cares about their wel- enough for a bed, as it is so con- asking 200 quid from someone so Mr Straw signed the sixth accident and is willing to pay fare? venient and sociable. Of course, he/she does not have to move protocol of the European for the evidence he hopes Everyone, at least there are some that may want to their belongings out of their Convention of Human Rights will prove it. He claims that a those who are not first years, move away from campus - fair house when they will not, for the Bare Facts in Strasbourg on Wednesday. collision between the Uno knows how hard it is to find enough, there’s enough decent most part, be there, is outrageous. The change in policy now and the Mercedes sent the Union House decent, affordable, if any, accom- accommodation in town to satis- At least, allocate one or two stor- means that future govern- Mercedes ploughing into a University Of Surrey modation in Guildford. There is fy those select few. But why not age rooms for each house (not for Guildford nowhere near enough to satisfy build more houses on (or extend) every 6 houses - or 100 odd ments will be unable to concrete pillar kill three of it debate the issue without four occupants.. Surrey all ‘UK’ second years, a few final campus? I do not mean miles rooms - in the case of uni court!) overturning the entire French police GU2 5XH years and postgrads. Demand by away, like Hazel ‘Alcatraz’ - I am positively sure the univer- far exceeds supply, meaning Farm, either. sity could afford that! European Convention of failed in their attempts to rents are hiked, and many people The university obvi- University life should Human Rights. trace the car. Nearly 3,000 Tel: 01483 259275 end up in other towns or, like in ously do well out of the accom- be fun, but for many students it is Uno owners in France were Fax: 01483 534749 my case, lodgings rather than modation, given the rents we pay not. Students come to this univer- Britain abolished the death interviewed without a with compared to other universities sity partly because of the attrac- penalty in May last year for result. They are still unsure email: other students. The university (about a tenner a week more than tion of campus life, but are let and the accommodation office Loughborough for example), so down. Please, do something treason and piracy although of what part the car might [email protected] may realise this, but giving peo- why shouldn’t at least 75% of about it! in practice since 1965. have played in the incident. ple a few days on campus until students be able to take a place J.Hemingway . n Thursday 28th January 1999 3 Union

SUPPORT GROWS AS RUMOURED RADIO STATION IS SET TO BECOME REALITY by Andy Blair - Station Manger Hairtec tudent’s given boost from made to change the way that broadcasting system will be ‘positive’ reception of the radio station at Surrey is acquired with help from the 24 Madrid Road SGU2 Project seen, both by the students and Student Broadcasting Network staff it serves as well as on a - allowing GU2 to broadcast Picture this. It’s a Thursday more national scale. Back in across the whole campus, 24 (01483)440414 afternoon and you’ve just the Summer of ‘98, two of the hours a day, 7 days a week. walked past a poster for one of current GCR committee mem- This has come about due to the the shows on Guildford bers, Andy Blair (Station recent release of new frequen- Shampoo & Blow Dry from £9.00 Campus Radio. ‘Must listen to Manager) and Lucy Andrews cies and changes in licensing that at some point’ you quietly (Head of Music), teamed up by the Radio Authority who are Cutting incl. Shampoo from £11.00 think to yourself. So, after a with Harriet Sims (Union currently processing GU2’s Gents cut incl. shampoo from £8.50 short journey home, on comes President) and her colleagues licence application. the radio to provide you with to produce a concept for com- ‘That’s all fine, but Semi permanent Tint from £22.00 some entertainment following pletely redesigning and what will we gain?’ Well for Permanent Tint £ from £25.00 an afternoon of lectures. You rebuilding a radio station for starters, GU2 will be the follow the instructions you read Surrey University. newest radio station in the Highlights/Lowlights from £35.00 on the poster - you ‘turn on’, After more than 5 country - will be run by Surrey Permanent Wave from £32.50 you ‘tune in’ - but there’s noth- months of research, planning students for all peoples ing there but static hiss. Wrong! and writing - a business plan involved in anyway on campus KMS/Fudge Treatment from £3.00 You’re probably listening to was taken to the University stat- (staff and students alike) and Sets & Blow Drys included in all Guildford Campus Radio. ing the intentions and financial will deliver a service unlike Unless you live in implications concerning what anything available to you at the Perming & Colouring Services, but excluding Cutting Battersea Court, the likelihood became known as ‘The GU2 present time. Multinational of you being able to hear our Project’. The University agreed music, information and news student radio station is smaller to give provisional support to will be at the forefront of Reduced Prices for Students than something very, very small. the Union/GCR in December thought and it is hoped the sta- GCR has broadcast for over 20 last year and steps have now tion will learn to cater for all years and can be found (if you been made to go further into the aspects of it audience. Tuesdays - Fridays inclusive are lucky) on a frequency of planning of GU2 Radio. GCR already has 1602AM. In the last 8 years the ‘So what will be over 40 members and shows GCR studio and broadcasting new?’. Everything. If the pro- will continue to be broadcast equipment has run into disrepair ject gets the ‘official’ go ahead on 1602AM as they have been and the whole identity has been Guildford Campus Radio will successfully since the start of Lloyds lost. Past members, DJ’s and cease to exist and with be the academic year. Tune in, see Chemist management staff have cam- replaced with ‘GU2’. A new if you can hear what you’re paigned tirelessly for new studio complex will be built missing - but if the snow- equipment and studio space for underneath Battersea Court balling support for the GU2 Madrid nearly a decade without success. Reception - housing two new project continues in the posi- The Astolat It is possible that this is soon to sound proofed studios, one for tive way it has been - you change. on-air and one for production won’t be able to ignore the GPA Road Since the formation as well as office facilities potential future of radio at of the 1998/99 GCR committee amongst other things. On top Surrey University. Be prepared Apollo Video Store Newsagent early last year, steps have been of the studio move, a new - something’s coming...... x Hairtec Rosymaker - Unplugged Beer, Britvic and Boycotts

ill you come bones of university, work and been meaning to tell you from ave you ever wondered Card) and the infamous SUB still drink it. Why? Because back next week parenthood, they reformed the beginning. “rosymaker” who decides what Bag. The company is run by a students aren’t animals and you “Wand tell us how eighteen months ago, securing Tuesday (WK 3), unPlugged Hdrinks and snacks you board of students and support guys appreciate a decent pint, I can buy in your Union? NUS staff, in much the same way as think. Either that or you all you got on”, I asked “Of a white label deal in London in the HRB from 8pm. course”, he replied, and with along the road to the present Services Limited (NUSSL - say the Union - shareholder unions have far too much money, nuss’l) is the trading arm of the have voting rights and can vote which I doubt. Luckily, the that he was gone, an eighteen day. Encouraging reports from You really can’t afford to be National Union of Students and at the Annual Conference. Last motion was defeated in favour month stranger to these parts . promoters and record compa- anywhere else, especially if takes the form of a national Friday was the Regional of a choice deal, but this issue This Tuesday he returns for the nies just confirm what I’ve you’re as skint as me! first time since then and he’s purchasing consortium. 25% Meeting for the South East will come up again at bringing his mates with him. of the company is owned by the Region, which I attended, Conference - I welcome any He is Neil, a graduate from NUS and the remaining 75% is together with Dennis Frost, our comments from you so that my Surrey’s Physics department, owned by shareholder Unions, General Manager and Jo Reay- vote is truly representative. wannabe turf distributer and such as Surrey. The idea is that Child, our Food & Beverage The Ethical & guitarist with “rosymaker”. if every Students’ Union in the Manager, also a staff advisor to Environmental Committee gave country buys through one the NUSSL Purchasing & a really interesting presentation “rosymaker” are a four piece route, we all get a better deal. Promotions Committee. on our friends Nestlé. This who have built up quite a fan Sounds good? We convened at ULU issue came up at Student base in their hometown of As well as negotiat- (University of London Union) Council last semester and we Maidstone. After a three year ing central purchasing deals of to discuss Soft Drinks, Nestlé, couldn’t make up our minds. split, during which the band crisps and beer, NUSSL also Brewed Products and company Neither can NUSSL. What members picked through the distributes the NUS card, ISIC structure. NUSSL are pro- they’re doing for now is not pro- (International Student Identity Britvic rather than Coca-Cola moting or advertising Nestlé, Schweppes Beverages (CCSB), but working with them to Talent Competition so I wore my Coca-Cola socks improve their company practice. The Choice Experience and made sure I flashed them at I was interested to learn that the board - I like Coke. There 41% of Unions boycott Nestlé his semester USSU Ents Tuesday 9th March, Tuesday nterested in tasting the real Friday 5th February TB11. A is a plan to restrict the range of products, so we’re still amongst and Unplugged will 16th March, and Thursday 18th world this summer? The Choice representative will be CCSB products and force stu- the majority who don’t. Tonce again be hosting March. The final will be an all- IChoice Experience is offer- delivering 2 unmissable semi- dents to drink Pepsi and Britvic The rest of the meet- the annual talent competition. day event in the Union on ing you an opportunity to visit nars 12.30 - 13.30 and 17.30 - products. What do you think? ing was taken up with company If you already know what its all Sunday 21st March. Each heat a range of countries at a sub- 18.30. At the moment, I’m using this strategy and a definitive plan to about, then go ahead and fill winner voted for by that nights sidised rate, we enable students Union’s vote against that idea. improve the SUB Bags. Watch out the entry form. If this is all audience will receive the door to partake in a variety of pro- For more information and a I also voted against a out for “Show me the Money” new to you, then read on. takings. The grand Final first jects. How about teaching in taste of the real world contact move to a sole-supply beer Week later this semester, which Prize is £100 + a whole lot Peru?, constructing in Nigeria, The Choice Experience on deal. Some staff and students is all about showing you where The talent competition is open more. running sports camps in 0181 900 0770, York house, at the meeting believe that “stu- your money goes when you buy to anybody who feels they have Entry forms available in last Belize? Choice is offering you Wembley, Middlesex, HA9 dents will drink anything - they lunch or a pint with us. L(ve talent! The competition is not weeks paper or in the the unique opportunity of OBR. This summers experi- never complain about choice”. your Union - this kind of repre- just for bands, but for anybody Unplugged pigeon hole. becoming deeply part of often ence are taking place in At Surrey, we sell more sentation is vital to your enjoy- who can get on stage and enter- For rules and more information inaccessible communities. Thailand, Mongolia, Peru, Kronenberg than any other ment. Anyone who wants to tain. In the past we have had check out last weeks paper on Taste the real world. Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda, lager. Kroney is a Premium know more - my door is mostly dancers, comedians, comedy the barefacts web site or con- Nigeria, Belize, Barbados, product and one of the highest open. music acts, and others. The tact Gav at Come and find out more on Prague and India. priced drinks available, but you Harriet Sims - Union President heats are in the main union on [email protected]. 4 Thursday 28th January 1999 n “Everyone just wants it to go away” Bill Clinton: What the people think by Nick Walsh and Daniel Jones ow do we solve the Jenny: He’s just another of debate about Clinton those Republicans, he’s spend- Hand get the real view. ing millions of dollars of his Easy, get some Americans, give report them some beer and let them Isn’t there something per- speak freely about the ‘affair verse in all that detail? that rocked America’. Jenny: Well, what bothers me Introducing Joseph, Jessica is all the tax dollars spent, I and Jenny, three highly articu- mean it’s my money, it’s every- late and funny second and body’s money being spent on third year exchange students this guys report whose informed opinions are Jessica: He’s just on a mission expressed below. First of all Joe: If they call witnesses, he’s thanks to the three for agreeing gonna be one of them to take part and being such Jessica: Have they called good sports. Read On. Monica Joe: They’re still deciding Basically we want to talk Jessica: Have you ever seen about Bill Clinton and the the web site where they’re sell- whole impeachment affair ing kneepads, the apron, it’s got Jessica: The starting statement the real Presidents seal, I don’t of mine is basically, power is know how they got it, I mean the ultimate aphrodisiac and it they’re selling this, it’s mar- ultimately holds true because ketable, that’s the thing about men in power/rich men get a lot America of sex, I bet Bill Clinton gets a What do you think about his lot more than Monica family? Jenny: I just think he’s gonna Jenny: I feel bad for his daugh- JJenny,Jessica and Joe get in enough trouble with his ter, wife, I don’t see why they’re Jessica: I think it’s his fault Jenny: Can you imagine what want about what she’s done Jenny: It’s still sexual rela- Joe: No, I don’t think I’d go for bothering with it all Jenny: I don’t feel bad for him, it’s like to be caught, with some (Monica), and what she’s said, tions, you can still get AIDS, Monica Jessica: Yeah, but it’s America, I just don’t think they should go little intern but I’m sick to death of them STD’s, I think Bill Clinton, Jessica:I ’d go for JFK it’s just a f***ing soap opera, it through all the trouble to Joe: My first reaction would be going on about the way she knew perfectly well, he had Joe: Marilyn Monroe went for simply is! It’s getting that much impeach him, I think he’s a to say, ‘I didn’t do it.’ looks sexual relations, he was just him, didn’t she coverage good president Jenny: I think it’s partly to do Jessica: But that’s also very gliding in and out of the situa- Jessica: This has been going on Joe: Except a soap opera you Would you be happy for him with his advisers, who went, America tion. forever, and the media is such a can avoid! to stay in? this is what you want to say, but Somebody must be interested Jessica: you can find different part of it When you went home at Jenny: I think he should stay, I this is what you need to say. in it though? definitions of anything, every- Jenny: If they were to spend Christmas, how bad was it think he’s done a lot of good Well, do you realise how stu- Jessica: Everyone is, but it’s one has their own definitions this much money, investigating then? things, before we had a bunch pid it looks, from the outside? mostly women though, men This is the final question, to every marriage, you know what Jessica: It’s on CNN 24-7, just of Republicans, we had Reagan Jessica: That’s what everyone don’t as much, they look at the girls mainly, would you a waste, there is probably a everywhere and Bush, they threw our coun- said when we arrived here, do your tits and your ass and that’s have sexual relations with 60% divorce rate, but a 95% Joe: Everyone, everyone try into serious debt, and did all you know what’s going on with it, us females we look at what him, do you find Bill attrac- adultery rate, the 5% is just the knows what’s going on kinds of stuff the president, blah, blah, blah. I their wearing, the way they tive? deeply religious or people out Is it a reflection on society? Jessica: I think he’s a good think a lot of countries look to walk Jenny: No in the middle of nowhere. Did Jessica: I hope not president the US and they can’t think too Jenny: Those national tabloids, Jessica: No, (pause) I think if I you know, Eskimo people, they Jenny: Clinton’s actions or the Jenny: Him and Hillary’s mar- highly of our president in light studying the way they walk, was older share their wives well I don’t care! Jenny: If I was an older Joe: that’s good, it might catch On Bill’s sexual definitions - Jessica: They’re always pick- women, he’s not unattractive on ing up new topics of what they Joe, would you go for I think we had better leave it “well it’s a bit like, you’re still a virgin but you can analyze Monica? there, thanks again, to Joe, So, would you vote for Jessica, Would you go for the Jessica and Jenny for taking can suck as many ****’s as you like” Clinton again? president? part. Joe: That’s not technically pos- sible Boxing Champ Defends of this. Say they put a vote to the impeachment? riage is just a political marriage Does it inhibit the way the public, hypothetically, Joe: I dunno for sure, I think based on power. They have a Clinton in February GQ country has dealt with it? Jessica: I don’t think people something like fifty percent of token daughter and she needs it Jenny: The country hasn’t real- would vote him out marriages end in divorce, but too! She wouldn’t be having ly dealt with it, only a very tiny Joe: I think it’s the economy, NEW YORK. Boxing great biting his ear. “I forgave him don’t quote me on that her popularity with her book sector of the government that’s what it comes down to, Evander Holyfield is in right after he bit me. For a sec- Jenny: The thing about it is, She wouldn’t be doing all the Joe: Everyone, just wants it to things are fantastic right now, President Clinton’s corner, ond, I admit, I thought of biting it’s just the Republicans going things she’s doing if she didn’t go away people have money according to the February issue him back, but then it passed,” on the rampage have him. Jessica: I compare it to the OJ Jessica: People like money of GQ (“Defender of the Faith,” Holyfield said. Joe: Have you heard about Jessica: So they’re using each Simpson trial, So what has he done for the by Frank Gannon). Holyfield, a Larry Flint, he’s the publisher other Jenny: I wanted OJ to be con- country, apart from the econo- self-proclaimed man of God Gannon writes that Holyfield’s of Hustler magazine, I don’t Jenny: Yeah, he’s using her in victed; I don’t want Bill Clinton my? who admitted last autumn to mission is to be universally rec- know how much you have this instance to stand by him to be convicted. I think he’s a Joe: The economy’s the main fathering more than one illegiti- ognized as the greatest heavy- heard about it over here, but and have a model marriage, if good president thing, people have got jobs, mate child, said, “You can’t weight in the history of boxing. basically he is paying a million she can forgive him why can’t Jessica: How long is left to go people have got money blame somebody for something It is a well-known fact that dollars to anyone who could we, and I think once he’s done on, there is always going to be Jessica: that’s the key, right that is so common.” Holyfield has trouble fighting give any dirt on a Republican with the presidency she’s gonna more shit and more shit there guys who are bigger than he is. Jessica: Kenneth Starr leave him What do you think of the O.K. The dirty ones, do you Not surprisingly, forgiveness is However, he says that size is a Joe: Or anyone who has had an Joe: Well, the position the Gennifer Flowers thing? agree with the definition of something that Holyfield joke. Boxing is mental and he affair. That’s good, Larry Flint, Republicans are making, if you Jenny: It wasn’t proven in a sex? would like to see spread plans to out-think Lennox getting in there and going at the will allow me to be devils court of law, but it was known Jessica: What was the defini- around, Holyfield explains his Lewis when they meet in the bastards! advocate, is that he lied under Jessica: So why do we feel the tion of sex? own actions, which conflict ring at Madison Square Garden Jessica: Yeah, it is a reflection oath need to know? But it was the Joe: Well Bill said that sex, with his religious beliefs: on March 13th. GQ asks a on our society, I truly believe Jessica: He would have avoid- same with the whole thing with wasn’t a blow job, basically. He “People have to understand that number of boxing experts, that ed this if, he had just owned up, Princess Diana, before her said ‘I did not have sexual rela- I’m a human being and I make including Sugar Ray Leonard, Jenny: It is very common for you know, you f***ed up, deal death, in the tabloids, it was in tions with that women’ mistakes. My father fathered Ken Norton, Mills Lane and presidents, people in power with it, I’m sure he was think- all the news, it was a big deal in Jenny: Well it’s a bit like, maybe twenty children. You Pete Hamill for their opinions Jessica: Yeah, it’s power again, ing, well , I’m not gonna get the United States you’re still a virgin but you can like to think you learn from the on the fight (see GQ February, women go gaga over that, caught. Jenny: Well sex is marketable suck as many d***’s as you mistakes of the past, but ... page 149). fewer women are in power Are you bothered by the fact Jessica: Yeah obviously, sex like these things happen.” Holyfield compared to men that he lied then? sells, you see it everywhere Joe: Yeah, that’s a good ques- was even able to pardon the The magazine will be on news- Kenneth Starr, what do you Jessica: I think it’s shitty, the Jenny: They can say all they tion unpardonable Mike Tyson for stands January 25th. think of him? worst thing is that he cheated Thursday 28th January 1999 n Live Music 5 Devastatingly Trashy Garbage hit Reading Rivermead

Garbage / Moloko Reading Rivermead Centre, 19 / 1 / 99

After their outstanding performance at the union last year, they return to the gig scene with the big stars of rock, Gargbage. Booming bass, tweaked extras and heart warming vocals bringing the funked up Bristol sound to us Photo: Andrew Thomas at full steam. Mixing old favourites such as ‘Fun For Me’ with an even blend of new cracking tunes.

Garbage are a stadium rock band. Tonight is sold out and, as the band enter, deafening applause greets them. But this greeting is nothing compared to that which greets Shirley’s entrance. Launching into ‘Only Happy When It Rains’ the assorted blokes with instruments strut their rock poses in the background as Shirley leans out to the crowd only to withdraw and career around the stage. Garbage live are a raw blast of alien technology and explo- sive guitars, culmonating in a deafening distortian engine to accompany the dark and dramatic vocal call. As with all good stadium bands Garbage feel the need to communicate with their fanbase between songs. Everyone is thanked for making ‘Version 2.0’ another worldwide smash despite the reviews from certain critics (who Shirley promises to invite to tea and shove gold discs up!). A teenage girl is pulled from the audience as she continual- ly screams for Butch Vig and finds her five minutes of fame hugging him. All the singles put in an appearance, as does a cover from The Seeds. Most of the crowd only seem to be familiar with ‘Stupid Girl’ but it doesn’t mat- ter. Garbage have well and truly trashed Reading again!

By Kevin Marston (Moloko) & Andrew Thomas (Garbage)

Elliot Smith NME Premier Show University of London, Bluetones/Delgados/Six By Union Seven/One Lady Owner 4th. December 1998 London Astoria 20/01/99

A pretty good year for so closing refrain ‘I’m never The Astoria has never looked hardcore fans present. far, for Mr. Smith. At the gonna know you now, but so glitzy. Spotlights, huge “Hardcore” is a bit of an beginning of the year, vir- I’m gonna love you any- posters, a jazzed up stage - it’s understatement really - exces- tually unknown outside of how’. hard to imagine that four sive moshing before Adam America, now at the end “indie” bands will be playing Devlin plucks a chord. The of 1998 one of hottest Other songs like the here over the next few hours. stomping “Solomon Bites The tickets in town. bouncing pop of ‘Baby One Lady Owner are first up, a Worm” turns what was Britain’ shows his love of brash five-piece who provoke “organised” moshing into a This isn’t surprising real- the Beatles, a similar little interest at the beginning, riotous frenzy (bouncers and ly, when you hear the influence come in the but eventually grab the barriers doing overtime). modest talent the man has folkish ‘Sweet Adeline’. crowd’s attention with stylish in creating fragile and You do feel for him as he riffs and funky keyboard This is a band who are obvi- poignant songs as shown comes back for an encore hooks. Six By Seven are a ously enjoying themselves as on his four albums. The as he is obviously suffer- band who like to take their much as the crowd. You can pick of which are ‘XO’ ing from flu, but one is time over things. Lengthy hear the extra enthusiasm dur- and ‘Either/Or’. The for- demanded, and he plays songs that gradually build up ing the inspiring “4-Day mer being the first with a songs from previous at a beautifully slow pace and Weekend” and the melancholy backing band, Quasi, who albums which the ardent end with an extremely heavy, “Sleazy Bed Track”. The regu- are also his support band, fans lap up. almost orgasmic, climax. lar crowd pleaser, “Slight whom he also plays bass Return”, is phenomenal for. It’s all rather compli- After a few more he Talented lads who should be tonight , as well as “Are You cated really, but not the leaves but still more is headlining one of these shows Blue Or Are You Blind”. Even music of the performance, demanded, he returns at some point in the future. the dubious “Broken Starr” which is affectingly emo- wearily and sparks up a The Delgados play some love- sounds magnificent. Cheers tive yet strikingly simple. cigarette and says ’if I’m ly music, but unfortunately, aplenty when they stroll off- well enough to smoke I’m they seem to be a little out of stage, it seems that rumours The main set which con- well enough to play’ is his place tonight. Opening with a about the band splitting up are sists mostly of the last two shrinking voice. ‘Bottle few “mellow” numbers, they clearly wrong. Anyway, no albums, gets going with up and explode’ follows fail to connect with an anxious time to stand back and admire ‘Bled White’ and the which has enough melo- crowd, only managing to turn their music, they’re back warming ‘The Ballad of drama in it to satisfy any- heads when their “harder” onstage and “If...” is starting . Big Nothing’. Last single one, from which nothing material kicks in. A shame Pete’s going back into the ‘Waltz #2’ comes and hits else is really needed. really. The Bluetones prefer to mosh - he may be some you with it’s aching sin- be loved by few rather than time.... cerity and touches you all Nick Walsh liked by many. Judging by the Andrew Smith & Peter the way through until it’s atmosphere tonight, there are Gordon-Smith more than just a few of the 6 Music Thursday 28th January 1999 n

ing they lost most of 5the SINGLE OF THE WEEK orginal version. The best bit is SINGLES the cover of Neil Youngs ‘Vampire Blues’. For the title @tomika - Dead Flowers SERUM - Know How track 3/10 but overall 6/10 I.P. (Mother Stoat Records) Initially, the group sounds like These boys rock in a pop Hanson, but fortunately this LLAMA FARMERS - Big melody explosion. A catchy disappears after a few seconds. Wheels (Beggars Banquet) DESERT EAGLE DISCS - riff, a shimmering chorus and Know How is not a bad single, Post-grunge punk power-pop The Lovers (Boilerhouse) devastating vocals. 9/10 D.J. with strong young-sounding from the band who have recent- British DJ and vocalist team up vocals, heavy harmonies and a ly supported the likes of Green with New York’s ‘21 Soldiers’ THE DIVINE COMEDY - B side sounding slightly of Day and Foo Fighters. Yeah, for this R’n’B tinged hip-hop National Express (Setanta) Reef . The tunes are reasonably the crunching guitars are great, effort. However, like so many The light sparkly comical lead catchy and incredibly easy to but there’s no real hook, and the of these combos that frequent track, which is very happy pick up, not bad at all. 7/10 end result is just a touch banal. the UK’s music scene, listening despite the scummyness of the E.C. 6/10 J.R.H. to a Puff Daddy album would lyrics, is great. The cover of probably do more for me! 3/10 Kraftwerk’s ‘Radioactivity’ PLACEBO - Every You BABYLON ZOO – All The J.R.H. steals the show, whilst still dis- Every Me (Hut) Money’s Gone (EMI) tinctly Kraftwerk it has a com- Having, allegedly, cracked It’s easy to dislike Babylon Zoo EDNASWAP - Bock On The pletely new slant when played America with ‘Pure Morning’ after their swift rise and fall Sun (Island) on guitars et el. 8/10 I.P. Placebo are set to be one of the NOJAHODA - Nojahoda (Columbia) with the song ‘Spaceman’, with The first UK single from the most unfeasibly enormous Three little pigs go tribal in this ritualistic punk, fuzz guitar rock. it’s ten seconds of originality at band that wrote ‘Torn’ is very HOLE - Malibu (Geffen) bands of ‘99. Their third single, 9/10 K.M. the start and then 3 minutes of similar to that song, lame prete- The title track shows that Hole however, is fairly standard lo-fi plodding. This time it’s a nious and bland in the extreme. really want to be a mainstream rock. The lyrics are dire (as (Beggars Banquet) the vocal lines subservient. mélange of glam rock and tech- 2/10 R.W. middle of the road act, they do usual) and burble randomly ‘Revolution’ is harsh and Turn up the base and enjoy. no. Unfortunately, though it’s it well but the song sucks. from wedding rituals to self punchy but uplifting at the 6/10 G.T. catchy like a disease, with its This weeks reviews brought to you However the sparks that made mutilation. Brian whines, the same time. The pointed and Bowie boogie beat, yet dumb artfully placed vocals range MERCURY REV - Delta Sun by: Hole interesting in the first bass throbs, the guitars make a enough for Joe Public. Given Rob Winder, James Hemmingway, place can be heard on the cover distressed noise. Only truly from impassioned outbursts to Bottleneck Stomp (V2) enough airplay this could sur- Nick Walsh, Georgina Tarrant, of Dylan’s ‘It’s All Over Now effective if you believe it will uncomfortably restless The lead track is light headed prise everyone again, although Kevin Marston, Daniel Jones, Baby Blue’ which is quite fan- be. 6/10 A.T. moments. The guitar lines are cack guitar pop. The ‘Chemical the singer is still a complete Andrew Thomas, Emma Clark, Ian tastic, hence 7/10 R.W. raw and jagged with the power Brothers Remix’ is a lot better t**t. 5/10 N.W. Purvey, and Andy Smith LIBERTY 37 – ‘Revolution’ to dominate the song, making which isn’t surprising consider-

ALBUMS ALBUM OF THE WEEK

Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy - I See and Spoon’s dub remix of down the “Portishead” route. Darkness (Domino) Moby’s ‘Go’. Overall it has There are many smouldering ‘Death To Eveyone’ is a naive, quite a mainstream feel to it, moments, such as the sharp, savant of beauty; ‘Madelaine and is definitely a mood album fused funk of “My Star” and Mary’ swirls slowly. And that to soothe any stresses away. the sheer grandeur of “Float To is the mood of Will Oldham (of 8/10 N.W. The Top”. “Scenes From Palace Music). He’s not in a Starbright” is obviously a rush here - just strolling, enjoy- UMAJETS - Swollen And Garbage / Echobelly hybrid- ing the view and excorcising Tender (Clearspot) rocker, but no-one cares his thoughts as he meanders The second album from Rob because it works..., very well. through the park and woods on Aldridge and Tim Smith, the The future looks bright. We a Sunday. A topical reference follow-up to last year’s might have to wait some time point is Elliot Smith, but this is ‘Demolotion’, sees the pair los- for the new stuff, so we’ll just stuck more out in the wilder- ing the backing band and play- bathe in this pool of downbeat ness - more an adventure into ing this album on acoustic gui- elegance for a while.....8/10 the depths of the woods than tars. The overall effect is some- A.S. Smiths flirtations around the where between XTC, for the lighter copse. In ‘Today I Was quirky pop songs, and Simon SNOW PONY - The Slow- An Evil One’, he offers and Garfunkel, for the har- Motion World Of Snow Pony “Tonight my eyes were hurting monies. The album is stuffed (Radioactive) much”, a vocal sung so elegant- with simple, swoon-some, gor- Slow motion is about right, this ly and delicately the lyrical geous songs that make you album should be renamed to simplicity is perfection. 8/10 smile, laugh even. It certainly is ‘The Slow, Dull And Boring D.J. fun. 8/10 R.W. World Of Snow Pony’. It is incredible how they manage to NICK WARREN – Back To MADDER ROSE - Tragic make their music so uninterest- Mine (DMC) Magic (Cooking Vinyl) ing. The album seems to have THE BLACK CROWES - By Your Side to form. ‘Southern...’ started with the First in a new series of compi- Two years since the initial all the basic ingredients for (Columbia) knockout one-two combination of ‘Sting lation CD’s by top DJ’s con- release, “Madder Rose” (indie decent music. It has a decent On the opening song ‘Go Faster’ Chris Me’ and ‘Remedy’, on ‘By Your Side’ the cerned with creating the perfect four-piece fronted by the beat, admittedly this doesn’t Robinson sings “If you slow down, I will Black Crowes repeat the trick with the sex- ambience for chilling out. Nick delightful vocals of Mary seem to change at all through out last ya”, and yet until the release of this ually charged ‘Go Faster’ and former single Warren’s has chosen some real- Lorson) re-release a slightly the album, the vocals are rea- album it looked like we’d all out last the ‘Kickin’ My Heart Around’, two rousing ly outstanding tunes. Included updated version of their most sonable and from what I on the CD is an ultra rare remix recent long-player. Two brand remember of the backing it Black Crowes. However, it seems that this rock’n’rollers that set the stage. Again, like of Coldcut’s ‘Autumn Leaves’ new recordings, “Narco” and seems fine. So how on earth band need a line-up change to give them the ‘Southern...’ ‘By Your Side’ sees the Black which is apparently Norman “Jailbird” hint at the bands can Snow Pony manage to put desired boost. In 1992 their first line-up Crowes mixing from their musical roots Cooks favourite chill out tune upcoming material on their these together in such a way change resulted in their masterpiece, ‘The some good time rock’n’roll, some swamp ever, plus Massive Attack and fourth album. Both tracks show that it can send people to sleep? Southern Harmony And Musical blues and southern fried soul through an Madonna collaborator Craig a band maturing; experiment- I suppose it could be used as a Companion’. The albums which followed album crammed with great songs, killer Armstrong ‘s joint effort with ing and generally writing better cure for insomnia, but so could that never reached those heights and the hooks, sharp guitar solos, honky-tonk piano the Cocteau Twins ‘This Love’. songs. The rest of the album a helpful friend with a big ham- band appeared to be on autopilot to obliv- and gospel backing singers. It is great to My personal favourites are Sub glides gracefully, in the vain of mer, it might be less painful. ion. Another line-up change has revitalised have them back. 9/10 R.W. Sub’s ‘Past’ with its early a technically proficient Dull, dull, dull, and dull. 2/10 morning Ibiza feel and also Jam “Dubstar”, but veering slightly E.C. them and ‘By Your Side’ is a mighty return

Gig Guide Thursday 28th January - Saturday 30th Sex by Sound @ Reading Alleycat Caffeine @ London Underworld Wednesday 3rd Friday 5th Febuary Annie Christan/Hotel Lounge/Enertia @ Aldershot WEC The Kynd/Hester Thrale @ Reading Alleycat Thursday 28th Sunday 31st Thursday 4th Dark @ London Highbury Upstairs at the Garage Heather Nova @ Surrey University Madder Rose @ London Highbury Garage Friday 29th Monday 1st Fabio / Grooverider @ Mass Club Brixton Snowpony/Appliance @ London Highbury Garage Swifty Bananas / Small Fish @ Reading Alleycat Friday 5th Cay @ London Islington Red Eye Tuesday 2nd Lemonincest / Sona Fariq @ Reading Alleycat Kent @ London ULU Terrorvision @ Guildford Civic Hall Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday Sunday Saturday Friday 6th 5th 4th 3rd 2nd 1st 31th 30th 29th Thursday 28thJanuary1999 8pm HelynRoseBar HTVIBES PHAT 8.2am HRB 7 pm week ; Unlucky objectofthe you leastenjoydoing. concentrate onthosethings You mustbepreparedto you useyourtimethisweek. Be extracautiousofhow week ;Bib/Driptray. Unlucky objectofthe they are easilyalarmed! dont appeartooeager, something aboutit!But always onyourmind.Do A certainsomebodyis shandy. week ; Unlucky objectofthe cat! cardigan andtalkingtoyour start stayinginwearinga pull quicksmartbeforeyou Chancellors! Gooutonthe happening asanightoutat Your lovelifeisaboutas 20th Feb-Mar 21st Mar-20thApr sun-thurs 12.30(exceptsun)15.1518.0020.50 sun-thurs 12.20(exceptsun)14.5518.1520.50 sun-thurs 13.30(exceptsun)16.0018.3021.00 21st Jan-19thFeb sun-thurs 14.00(exceptsun)17.2520.20 fri-sat 13.00(frionly)15.3018.0020.45 Fri Jan29th-ThursFeb4th1999 n Vibrating tortoise. sun-thurs 12.4015.1518.0020.35 sun-thurs 12.1014.5517.4520.30 sun-thurs 12.0514.5017.4020.25 fri 12.1014.3017.0019.3022.00 Aquarius fri-sat 13.3016.0018.4021.10 fri-sat 12.3015.3018.3021.30 fri-sat 14.0016.3019.1521.50 fri-sat 12.1515.1518.1521.10 WWW.ODEON.CO.UK Pisces Half apintof Aries sun-thurs 12.1515.5519.35 sat 14.3017.0019.3022.00 fri12.20 15.1518.2521.20 fri-sat 13.0016.4520.30 Star Trek: Insurrection sun-thurs 15.3020.40 sun-thurs 13.0018.15 Shakespeare inLove The OppositeofSex 0870 5050007 The MaskofZorro Enemy oftheState fri-sat 16.1521.40 fri-sat 13.4519.00 Very BadThings Practical Magic Meet JoeBlack sat 12.0015.00 sat 18.2521.20 Lunar LisaandMysticMoonda Cineline Little Voice The Seige sun 13.30 Stepmom to be! isn’t whatit’s crackedup economy dogfoodontoast in thestudentcommunity, Contrary topopularbelief financial wellbeing. having afalsesenseof Don’t fallintothetrapof week ; Unlucky objectofthe about asthinpaper). Surrey accomodationare ears (andthedodgywallsin say, as eventhewallshave others. Becarefulwhatyou thought astohowyoutreat two-faced lately. Givesome You’ve beenactingabit deep heat. week ;Anemptytubeof Unlucky objectofthe are, notwhatyoutrytobe. people likeyouforwho muscle! Actnaturally, you’re likelytopullis this weektheonlything cheesy chatuplines,as Beware ofusingyourold 22nd May-21stJun 21st Apr-May 22nd Jun-23rdJul A flyonthewall. Gemini Cancer Taurus 24th Aug-23rdSept week ; Unlucky objectofthe the outcomemightbe...... this week.Whoknowswhat spend moretimewiththem Take upthe opportunityto than pleasedtoseeyou. for awhilewillbemore Someone youhaven’t seen voucher. week ;A£10B&Q Unlucky objectofthe hol. which don’tinvolvealco- set yourselfsmallertargets years’s resolutions. Try to success inkeepingupnew You haven’thadalotof week ; Unlucky objectofthe about. upset thoseyoureallycare quantity, asflirtationscould recently. Thinkqualitynot dering alittletoomuch Your eyeshavebeenwan- week ;Abankstatement. Unlucky objectofthe 24th Sept-23rdOct 21st Jul-23rdAug Thermal knickers. Vaseline. Libra Virgo Leo Entertainments Guide7 week ;DogCollar. Unlucky objectofthe tage toyou. socks willbeofnoadvan- Trust thestars, talking it takesupresidence itself. something aboutitbefore but yourwashingdoes!Do Launderettes dontbite, stick. week ; Unlucky objectofthe that tothedrink! your headthough,leave the party. Dontletitgoto and arethelifesoulof vibes tothosearoundyou You’re givingoutpositive week ;Plasticbowl. Unlucky objectofthe of apeacefulatmosphere. compromise forthesake acceptable. Beprepared to pan beatingsare not the betterofyou.Frying Domestic tensionisgetting 24th Oct-22ndNov 22nd Dec-20thJan 23rd Nov-21stDec Sagittarius Capricorn Pink Shimmerlip- Scorpio 8 Personals and Notices Thursday 28th January 1999 n

■ Lost: Mr Farley last ■ Have you put up those that just natural colouring? seen unconcious in Dolcis shelves yet gezza. B.B. ■ He’s fallen off his bike O F U doorway. If found, direct ■ To the bringer of good and is bleeding profusely... Personals & Notices him to bar. news, has the angel still A typical FNO for Mr ■ Sunday at 8pm its hand. Truly excellent Theo the great blue got her shine? Ponder!!! ■ ■ (Lec. Th. G)What if - see it this wonder returns. The fox is back, and she Pete (Hazel Farm 27), IMPORTANT ■ Angels walked among Twford B, Fiona is the said ginger power still eventhough you’re living JUMBLE SALE with your boyfriend Oli, REMINDER us? Like most of us, you A season ticket for worlds Shortest woman. rules!! ■ Mr Musk is a whimperer. ■ The hall resturant girls you’re always welcome Accommodation probably saw the trailer OFU's 7 films(plus Arts There will be a sale of ■ Della - can I borrow say hi to all our sautrday home!! Applications for 1999/2000 for City of Angels for cinema films for free!) unclaimed lost property on some skattababy please? regulers ■ Films for 50p?!! The deadline for receipt of ages and ages and ages costs just 7.50, or guest Thurs 11th Feb, 11am - 2pm ■ Joel, drink first, woman ■ has anyone seen my http://www.ee.surrey.ac.uk application form in the in the cinema, and then tickets for individual on the Union dance floor. later! ducky? /Societies/filmsoc Accommodation Office is never got round to see- films are just 2.50 (fill Loads of books, clothes, ■ Pete, how’s Fifi? And ■ Mole. structure, how ■ OFU does it 24 times a MONDAY 1 FEBRUARY ing the film. That's good out a ticket in the Union Kim? And Becca? And fantastic second... If you have not completed a umbrellas and jewellery up in one way, because it pigeonhole room an Denise? ■ what will the catering be http://www.ee.surrey.ac.uk form yet and are eligible for for grabs. means you didn't have to hour before the film, or ■ I’ve given Hannah glan- like and what will it be /Societies/filmsoc accommodation next year go Proceeds to Jeans for Genes watch the intensely ugly buy from Union recep- dula fever. Sorry Ollie. called? ■ Care ! - eating a Thai to the Accommodation Office who help children with genet- Nicolas Cage. But it's tion). ■ It’s bloody cold in ■ Michelle- Our lives will crab dish can make your in the Philip Marchant ic disorders. also bad because you Norway. Sinnock. never be the same again date try to break your Building before the deadline. missed the gorgeous Wednesday (8pm, ■ Holland was, er, Nice! now yer hitched.... Love ■ throat. AH Extreme Sports Meg Ryan and an excel- LTG) see the Arts ■ B.B. from the SBS lads... What goes Black- The Hellenic Society invites Parachute course for static lent film to boot. Cinema's Karaktrer, ■ White-Black-White- ■ Denmark, very dull! To the pretty every orthodox student on the line jump- late feb/early Guardian angel Seth from the director of Black? Mike’s boat cart- B.B. Psychologist typing a 30th of Janto a Greek marchcost approx. £80 (Ugly-boy Cage) is Antonia's Line... but this sound perception essay wheeling on the M25 ■ Could’ve been a wizard Orthodox Liturgy on Interested please contact doing what guardian is supposed to be even next 2 me ... I fink yer ■ What’s the fastest way but I got caught in show- Campus.The service will take Tony at php1ae angels do when he sets better! Oh, and it's in luvly! to improve the speed of a biz. W place in theLady Chapel eyes on a stunning doc- dutch. Arts guest tickets ■ ■ Bargain!!!!! Lack of cr@p VW Golf? Eject the 10 days to make Vapour (inside the Cathedral) and tor (our Meg). The only are 2.00 to students, and love life forces sale Durex roof rack at high speed. Sat, 30th January from nothing! Waz will start at 11 am until way ugly- boy can get to you even get some bour- ■ extra safe condoms £1 for ■ Cakey stop reading this Do you want ice with 12:30pm approximately.The International Food be with superbabe is to bon biscuits, or maybe a 3 !!! you are not a STUDENT that? ... no, not again! W liturgy will be dedicated to Evening : "fall to earth", which he garibaldi if you're good. ■ Don’t work too hard Art. ■ Contact ce81ip for sup- anymore!, Fraggle. ■ the feast of “3Ierarxes”.All meet at 7.15pm at Campus does, but then fate plays -Oscar Sinnock plies!!!!! Daria - wanna do the ■ Tonight, Becky T is...... hula hula with ? welcome. Sports Centre (or at Hazel PUSSYGALORE ■ 96.4, crystal palace, ooh Farm (Hamilton Drive) 5 ■ howheehow...... marvel- no its flown away RAG AGM Monday 1st minutes earlier) Come and lous!!!! ■ STAIRS IN BJ’S - February 6pm Hari’s try some food from around ■ J.Begum...... water me HOW WICKED!!! the world. Please bring a dish now!! love from Dave ■ Bloody Northerner to Electrical Engineering of food from you r country to Barn!!! Bloody Foreigner - mobile share. ■ Arpita aka octopussy, switched on? (EESoc.) AGM you some sort of $*!$%&* ■ EU bureaucracy - now 9th February 1999 Tuesday Calling Ladies 17.30pm Departmental detective there’s a surprise. Squash Players. ■ so...what’s the definition ■ Vic - I’m bored!! Common Room of men? ■ Elona, when you talk Any keen beginner- advanced ■ Happy birthday noel - about other, make sure Motor Club AGM - are welcome to join the Ladies Squash team. Come luv doms & sobs! when you have group sex, Tuesday 9th February 199 along Wednesdays at 2.00pm ■ Will BB persuade Ranjit they do not kick you out 19.30 LTB to partake of a wet banana? ■ Malchiki, menya seichas at the Varsity Centre or con- ■ Smurf, do you turn blue virvet, daite mne vodi ... tact Jacki tel 828654 or email when you tell a lie, or is Drink less!!! [email protected] n Thursday 28th January 1999 Opportunities 9

Crossword No 91 Dr Russ SURREY/US EXCHANGE Dear Russ test to measure this. If you I’ve been invited to an assess- need to display self-confidence t’s great to be back! Or is receive you student loan ment centre. The letter did- in the job, they may ask you to it? Does the thought of throughout the year. n’t say very much about it. give a presentation. If Iwaking up to blue skies and What exactly is it and how assertiveness is a requirement, sunshine have a certain appeal? And is it worthwhile? can I best plan for it? you are highly likely to face Or how about crunching real some sort of group discussion snow underfoot, in crisp, clean Most Departments give posi- Dear Heidi to see how persuasively you air and picture-book mountain tive support and encourage- Despite the continued populari- communicate. If the job scenery? Well, it could be like ment to students interested in ty of the interview as a means requires people who can write that for you in January 2000 - if an exchange year. And you are for selecting applicants, a num- clear and effective English, you you are one of the students likely to find that employers ber of studies have shown that may be asked to draft a letter or selected for the University of give “plus points” to students it is not a very successful précis a document. Surrey/US Exchange pro- who have broadened their hori- method. As a result, some gramme. zons by studying and travelling employers, particularly those Over the next few weeks I’ll abroad. So aside from having recruiting for trainee manage- describe these exercises in more Last semester there were 14 stu- an exciting opportunity to ment positions, have devised detail in answers to letters from dents at partner institutions in experience a totally new life alternative assessment proce- other students. There is also a the USA. Surrey is one of a and some exotic travel - maybe dures. They usually bundle all really good leaflet on assess- handful of universities that Thanksgiving in New Orleans these together and run them in ment centres in the Careers makes this possible for students ..... Christmas in Arizona, what are called selection cen- Service. I will be giving a in any Discipline, provided that California, Colorado ..... then tres or assessment centres. careers talk on this subject on there is an acceptable academic the Spring break in Florida - Monday 8 February at 1 pm in course match and that the stu- you will certainly be enhancing Across Down Although you haven’t been told LT E. You might also like to dent meets the eligibility criteria. your career prospects. 1. Shrub used for hedges (8) Careful attention (4) what sort of exercises they think about getting in some 5. To put away (4) 2. A caution (7) intend to put you through, you practice before the real thing by How does it work? If you wish to apply for a 9. A mistake (5) 3. A set of wives (5) can try to work it out for your- coming to an Assessment place on the Exchange, come 10. A child (7) 4. Repartee (6) self. The clue to it all is the job Centre Workshop on 17 Taking part in the Exchange to the APPLICATION 11. To boil gently (6) 6. A roof repairer (5) description. What sort of per- February. We still have places does not add to the length of MEETING, on Wednesday 12. Portable lamp (5) 7. More deserving (8) son are they looking for? If left if you’d like to pop in to the your degree course; you remain 10th February, at 1.30 pm in 14. To bargain (6) 8. A newspaper chief (6) they want numerate applicants, Careers Service to reserve a registered as a Surrey student 5AA19 (Civil Engineering 16. Menial servant (6) 13. Scattered fragments of it’s not unreasonable to expect slot. but you enrol in the courses at Dept). 19. Greek letter (5) shells (8) some sort of pencil and paper Russ Clark the American institution that 21. To cut out (6) 15. Heavy and slow (6) broadly correspond to the If you are a first year student 24. To leave undone (7) 17. Remote (7) courses or modules that you and want to find out more about 25. To feed on pasture (5) 18. Breed of dog (6) Postgrads go back to school! would have been taking in your the Surrey/US Exchanges 26. A connection (4) 20. Heathen (5) 2nd year at Surrey. The before the meeting, call into the 27. A seeker of prey (8) 22. Imprisoned (5) f you hadn’t yet realised, when postgrads get the chance American students do the same International Office, Philip 23. Carry (4) every Thursday night is to don their charcoal grey - there’s two-way traffic. You Marchant Building (opposite Last weeks solution 3.grapnels 4.afar 5.Slav Ipostgrad night in Wates shorts and blazers, and gather need to have sufficient funds to Careers Office). Across: 7.boater 8.fallow 6.tomato 12.trainers House. We’ve had some great round in circles chanting cover your living costs (and Sue Webb 9.rife 10.peruvian 11.inter- 13.footwear 15.orated nights so far, and after last “Scrap! Scrap! Scrap!”. That’s travel) but you will continue to International Office est 13.flow 14.pool 16.sea- 17.eroded 19.tool 20.dusk week’s Telly Addicts Quiz, we because it’s the Back To School rover 18.mastadon 21.wool Crossword Compiled by know that postgrads spend far Disco where you’ll get all the 22.felons 23.roared Jeff Blackham too much time in bed watching best music from your school Down: 1.potion 2.ethereal tv! The winners were Midnight years, and canings are available Frisbee Gods with 89 points, on special request only! though We’ll Think About It Detention starts at 7.30pm and Skills Development Programme came close with 88. Living up costs... um... probably two- to their name, Useless came quid. See our posters for more last with 68. details! Two more Skills sessions are Room.This workshop looks There’s something different coming up soon: at the area of report writing every week, so see our posters Take a thousand lines! I must LEARNING TO LISTEN - within an academic setting. for details. One date to put in remember to come to the Wednesday 3 February (2pm- It will be particularly bene- your diary is Thursday 4th Feb Disco, I must remember.... 4pm) in the Grant Mitchell ficial to those that feel they Room. This session is led by Gill Venables, Student Affairs need extra assistance with Officer and Euan Wilmshurst, their report writing skills or NUS SE Regional Officer. The need to hand in a report in workshop is aimed at all stu- the near future. This work- dents but particularly relevant shop is led by Penny to those wanting a career or Burden, Skills placement in teaching, coun- Development Project selling, training, social work, Manager. health care and similar careers where listening plays an impor- For more details or to sign tant role. up, contact Rodney on ext. RIGHTING A REPORT - 3177 or e-mail Tuesday 9 February (3pm- ([email protected]) 5pm) in the Grant Mitchell GreenSoc Join In This Semester’s New Initiatives, Meet New People Get Something Worthwhile On Your CV Tuesdays 6.30pm LTJ NIGHTLINE NOW OPEN 8pm till late Monday to Friday 10 Films, Reviews & Previews Thursday 28th January 1999 n A Bug’s Life (U) Cinemas from 5th Feb Shakespeare Speaks! Joseph Fiennes as William Shakespeare

How did you become involved ments and in desperate need of in the film? creative inspiration. I originally read a version of How could you identify with the script about six years ago him? when I was still at drama He’s a sinister, bruised roman- school. It was going to be a dif- tic – who isn’t? ferent cast and I thought then ‘Wouldn’t it be great to tackle What was the idea behind Shakespeare?’ But the film Shakespeare’s ritual before never happened. I never starting writing? thought the project would be That even a genius is suspi- around long enough for me to cious! have another opportunity. Do you have any superstitions Were you fearful of playing yourself? such an icon? I used to put my left shoe on Yes, he’s sacred ground. But before my right when going on this script, which sparkles at stage. But I could see that this Director: John Lasseter and butt. every turn, delivers very much could be the start of a very Andrew Stanton This army includes Francis a human with faults and emo- complicated procedure if I Starring: Lots of bugs with the (Leary), the touchy male lady- tions, making him accessible. allowed it, trying to dispel any How did you feel playing such we were about one hundred voices of Kevin Spacey, Denis bug who’s just a little hung up bad luck. So now I do nothing a passionate love scene? years behind the Italians! Leary, David Hyde Pierce and about his sexuality; Slim What did you know about at all and invite chaos. It was not my first, but it Madeline Kahn. (Pierce - Niles in Frasier), the Shakespeare? always feels that way. The pas- After two consecutive films in long suffering stick insect and He will always be a mystery. What were your feelings sion has to come across, but it tights, what next? lik is the hero of our wooden actor; camp Bavarian He is very mercurial – difficult about Gwyneth Paltrow, an is a fairly cold process. A film called Rancid story and is the king of caterpillar Heimlich, who can to pin down. On religion and American, playing such an Aluminium, set in the present, guy who is well-mean- barely manoeuvre; sexy moth F politics and sex, he courts English female lead? How much discussion went playing mysterious accountant ing, but always manages to Gypsy (kahn); and Tuck and much debate. I think at the end I made no distinction – she into how Shakespeare in a grey suit. A complete con- spoil everyones fun. So when Roll, the bonkers twin of the day any real history nails the accent to a ‘t’ – right looked? trast and just the sort of thing I Hopper (Spacey) - the dastard- Hungarian pillbugs who put around him is a can of worms to a decimal point and speaks It was a big question mark. was looking for. ly evil leader of the grasshop- Noel and Liam to shame. With and it is best to count our bless- the verse beautifully. Talks tended towards giving pers - decides to use Ant Island computer imagery in a different ings for his plays. him a gypsy-like look – also On a personal note, does it as a stomping ground, Flik league to Toy Story, visually at So what else does Gwyneth keeping him modern. help or hinder, having a goes on a mission to find an least this should be stunning. So what was your approach bring, apart from a good bud- famous actor brother? army to kick some grasshopper towards him? get for the film? Do you like the Elizabethan Ralph gave me a lot of encour- My approach was: he’s a young There is spontaneity as soon as age? agement during drama school, Meet Joe Black (PG) guy called Will, a hustler, look- the camera rolls. She has depth, It is truly a golden age. The but at the end of the day you’re ing to make a packet to get his skill and warmth. birth of Shakespeare, Marlowe on your own. Everything boils Director: Martin Brest Still life goes on for Susan and name in lights, secure rent pay- and the new sciences; although down to the individual. Starring: Brad Pitt, Anthony her media tycoon father Hopkins, Claire Forlani William Parrish (Anthony Hopkins). Until a certain Joe Little Voice (15) New Year, New Films itt stars as the nastiest Black (Pitt) mysteriously turns piece of work this side of up on the doorstep. Back on Little Voice (15) Out Now severe disappointment. The he last few seconds of costing 2.50 (2.00 for Arts), PTimbuktu - Death itself. Earth to find out what makes Director: Mark Herman acting is top notch and the 1998 ticked away, and though you would be mad not It all starts well. Susan Claire people tick, Death has taken Starring: Jane Horrocks, production superb, but it is Tthe most tremendous to buy a season ticket! Guest Forlani - The Rock) espies a form in Brad’s body and gets Michael Caine and Ewan all so predictable. LV falls in cheer roared across the nation tickets must be reserved by as mankind realised the signif- filling out a blank ticket in the charming young man (Pitt) in a more than he bargains for. A McGregor love with Ewan McGregor’s coffee shop. They kick it off love affair made in Heaven icance of the era into which it Union pigeonhole room at equally timid phone repair big style, but sadly, this is only awakes between Susan and Joe. was entering - the last Oscar least an hour before the film, too literally a once in a lifetime Death has an ulterior motive his is an emotional boy. Things go badly and Film Unit Spring Season of the or can be purchased from the meeting. Before they can swop and is as devious as you might comedy set in a gritty there is a fire in LV’s house. millenium. Union reception. mobile numbers, our hero has a expect from the Lord of Tseaside town with There is a hammer-fisted breif encounter with a fast Darkness)..... Jane Horrocks, Michael metaphor about a caged bird And shiver me timbers if it’s So, all you need to know now, moving vehicle. Caine and Ewan McGregor. gaining her freedom. not a cracker of a season. Jim-Bob, is which films we This is the film that brought Seven great films, and a cork- are showing. For OFU we Competition Time Michael Caine out of retire- Aside from that, though, the er of a deal - if you buy an have got City of Angels (see ment after umpteen years, film is still enjoyable. OFU season ticket for just review elsewhere in this and as such you would expect Horrocks’ impressions are 7.50 then not only do you get issue), Six Days Seven Nights, Shakespeare in love it to be a little bit special. spot on brilliant, and clearly to see all seven OFU films, but The Wedding Singer (even This makes it a great shame the driving force behind the thanks to the University’s Arts funnier than There’s Director: John Madden Committee, you can see the Something About Mary), that it isn’t. Jane Horrocks film. Caine is at his slimy Starring: Gwyneth Paltrow and Joseph Fiennes Arts Cinema films for FREE! Great Expectations (Ethan The hotly-tipped Shakespeare in love opens soon. See next weeks plays LV, a girl with a talent best as Ray, and McGregor is Fifteen films - that works out Hawke and Gwyneth Paltrow issue for the full review. But until then we have an interview with for imitating the showtunes cast in a very different role at an average of 50p a film! both looking, well, phwoar- star turn, Joseph Fiennes and a competition. of Marilyn Monroe, Shirley from normal, which he han- rrr!), Scream 2, Jackie Brown Bassey, and Dolly Parton, all dles superbly. The tone varies And just to confuse you all, (probably Tarantino’s finest), Prize: 5 sets of handmade writing paper sets and engraved metal of which she has memorised from emotional tension to we’ve changed our showing and The Truman Show. bookmarks from her lamented father’s painful embarrassment and times. OFU films are now The Arts Cinema has a more Entries to be recieved by 4th Feb to ps51dj. Correct entries will be record collection. She lives then to slight boredom. If the shown at 8pm on Sundays diverse collection: The drawn from a hat. only, and the Arts Films are English Patient, Karakter (see What was Shakespeares first name? with her wicked step-mother, script had been wittier, then Maria Hoff, who keeps her that might have saved the 8pm on Wednesdays. All films review elsewhere in this Meet Joe Black locked up upstairs while she long stretches of the film are shown in the plush sur- issue), Monty Python’s The goes out on the razzle with a where everything moves too roundings of lecture theatre G. Meaning Of Life, Stephen 1st Prize. 1 set of pyjamas OK, “plush” could probably King’s Thinner, Hans Richter large number of different slowly; but that is only a 2nd Prize. 1 bow tie, 1 fancy candleset, 1 diary for hot dates and get us nicked for trade descrip- Night (a selection from direc- men. One of these is Ray Sey, might have been. The only 1 shiney compact mirror tions, but you could always tor Hans Richter, including 3rd Prize. 1 bow tie, 1 fancy candleset, 1 diary for hot dates. played by Michael Caine, real laugh is Michael Caine’s bring a pillow or comfort Dreams That Money Can To win these goodies, answer this simple question: who, after absolutely ages, brilliant song at the end, as yourself with the refreshments Buy), Metropolis (the first overhears LV’s singing and the various plot strands come we will be selling.... ever Sci-Fi - from 1926), The star of the film has the first name Brad. What is his sec- signs her up to play at a local together to leave him out in Sliding Doors (Gwyneth ond name? club. However, he has not the cold. A perfect film for To sign up, just bring your Paltrow twice over), and a) Hole counted on how painfully shy anyone who saw The Italian campus card and 7.50 along to Career Girls (from Mike b)Valley LV is. Drama ensues. Job when it first came out any film - we’ll even throw in Leigh).So what are you wait- c) Pitt (that would exclude our gen- a book of reviews for the sea- ing for? Entries to be recieved by 4th Feb to ps51dj. Correct entries will be There are several problems eral readership then.) 5/10 son. Guest tickets for individ- Come along and sign up drawn from a hat. with this film that make it a Steven Alexander ual films are still available, before we’re sold out! n Thursday 28th January 1999 Surrey Pride 11

Surrey Pride Star Profile Sports International by George Pavlou Number 10, Catherine Johnstone MICHAEL JORDAN: the sport gained more and more fans. virus, Jordan sucks it up and scores 15 of his game high 38 points in the 4th The Athlete; The Icon Michael Jordan, the best there is, best quarter, including a crucial three- A Tribute there was, best there ever will be, has pointer with 25 seconds left, to give left us with a veritable treasure trove the Bulls a pivotal 3-2 series lead. of memorable scenes and snapshots Barely able to stand at the finish, he his past week has been a sad from his illustrious career. Although gets a helping hand off the court from one for the NBA and basketball it’s impossible to catalogue all the Scottie Pippen. Tfans the world over. The undis- great memories of His Airness, here puted King has abdicated. Many of us are my 5 favourite Jordan moments: 5. The Perfect Ending will feel that this has come as a sudden MJ strips the ball from Karl Malone, shock, though with the NBA lock-out 1. The garden party then hits the game winning jumper looming over the whole 98-99 season, In his second year in the league, MJ with 5.2 seconds left, to stun the Delta and the process of ageing coming into pours in an NBA playoff record 63 Centre crowd and clinch the Bull’s play, one felt that the inevitable would points in Boston Garden to announce sixth title of the 90’s. The image of come to surface. his arrival among the game’s legends. Jordan holding his form as his final shot hits nothing but net is the perfect Vital Stats; To ask why and how this could ever Age: 21 2. Slam dunk cap to his glorious career. have happened would be missing the Jordan wins his second slam dunk Dept: Psychology point. We should all now come togeth- title, outduelling Atlanta’s Dominique Nicknames: CJ, Medic, Little Miss Bossy [You WILL apologise!!”] er and drown our sorrows in the glory Wilkins with a jam only Air Jordan Measurements: 5’6.5’’ that was Michael Jordan; a prolific could dream of. Starting at the far end Sporting Interests (and why?): Netball - enables me to improve my scorer, a man from the future, a bas- of the court, Jordan runs the length of ball skills and handling co-ordination [Which I would like to point out are ketball demi-God, a family man. MJ the floor, lifts off from just inside the in NO way utilised on Netball tours with random men in Hastings, absolute- was known the world over, even by foul line and slams the ball home. The ly NO way!! - Sports Ed.] those who had never even seen a bas- final score: perfect 50. Marital Status: Attached (To the Doctor) ketball game. His grace on the court captured the hearts of millions, his 3. Tears of joy Personal Info; supremeness in the air so elegant like In one of basketball’s most memorable a soaring bird. What is your favourite feature? locker room scenes, a weary Jordan clutched the championship trophy to My eyes, the dimples on the back of my shoulders and my ability to behave In my personal opinion, M J was prob- outrageously without caring what anyone thinks [except if it’s printed in his chest and cried tears of joy. It has ably the most important player in the took him seven years but Jordan final- BF] (especially when I’m pissed e.g. Curry house) history of the game as far as its suc- ly captured his holy Grail. What do you go for in a man? Someone who can make me laugh and cess, popularity and growth fair. allows me to be myself Magic Johnson and Larry Bird provid- 4. The Flu Game Favourite Drink? Whisky and Coke, Mule Products ed a lift when the game needed it. Severely weakened by a stomach Favourite Food? Curried Chips Michael took it to another level and Favourite Music? Anything I can bop to (or run around like a maniac) Sports Shorts First Past the Post by Eddie Sporting Info: nother successful week expect him to do, with Storm What does Surrey Sport give you? Lots of hangovers and great friends Tyson set to fight again for me - two winners, Damage maybe worth a place What is your; Atwo seconds and only following a good win last most memorable moment in Surrey Sport? on April 24 in Vegas one not making the frame. week. On the same course and Being made woman of the match after my first Netball match at University Mind you, a trained chim- distance, Grey Shot may suc- and having to down a chumbawumda as a result! panzee could have predicted ceed in putting in a sound claim ne huge right hand was enough to make funniest moment you can recall from your days at Surrey? Downing a the Istabraq/French Holly out- for the second spot in the Mike Tyson millions of more dollars against pint at a rugby/ Netball social with my trousers around my ankles! come at Leopardstown, which Champion Hurdle, as he takes Botha, setting him for a second comeback worst injury? back [What happened to it? - Sports Ed.] O sees the winner clearly at the the Cleeve Hurdle. Up at fight on April 24. An opponent will probably be head of the market for the Doncaster, in the Great worst STD? none [Flight Lieutenant Commander Bacon Sandwich, you are selected sometime next week but possible opponents Champion Hurdle, and connec- Yorkshire Chase over three cleared for take off!] include Axel Schulz, Lou Savarese, Shannon Briggs tions of the second admitting miles, watch out for Glitter Do you have any sporting superstitions? no and Michael Moorer. That, of course, assumes that that’s the best the rest can hope. Isle. How does Surrey Sport affect your Social/Private life? It gives me one Tyson is not going to jail next month when he’s sen- Two more of those who may (naughty, naughty!) tenced on a no contest plea stemming from his figure in that race; Wahiba On the news front, the race fix- Is sex better before or after sport? During! It’s the only way to stop the assault on two men following a traffic accident. Sands couldn’t hack it against ing scandal continues to cause other half watching Grandstand (unless they’re covering Surrey Uni Tyson’s spectacular fifth-round knockout of Francois Tiutchev when finishing sec- a stir throughout the world of Netball!) Botha saved him from a possible embarrassing defeat ond in another preparation race racing. Lord Carnarvon, the that would have derailed his latest comeback and Who is your sporting role model? My housemate - Nicky Gooch for the Champion Hurdle. Queen’s racing manager, will plans to fight four times this year. Tyson had lost Which sports personality would you most like to meet? I wouldn’t mind Deano’s Beeno was an odds-on not be attending a scheduled every round on the scorecards of two of the three Rob Andrews - he’s quite sexy (let’s see now, is he a rugby player by any winner, and moved into the debate in the House of Lord’s. ringside judges when he flattened Botha with the chance? - Sports Ed.) favourite slot for the Stayer’s ‘Ridiculous’ was how he punch, but made at least $10 million for the fight. Sum yourself up in 3 words? Bossy forward bird race at Cheltenham. Simply described the handling of the Rob and Rich’s nominated question; Would you economise over the Dashing still finds one too affair, which has seen ten jock- Christmas break by dumping your current boyfriend? Not over Ali turns 57 good for him on the day, and eys bailed without charge, Christmas, cos at least you’re getting a pressie back - maybe over his birth- had to be content with more some for up to a year. day though, depending on my financial situation at the time! place prize money, as General ans and family of boxer Muhammad Ali gath- Wolfe retained his Peter Marsh Irish trainer, Tommy Stack, ered for an emotional 57th birthday party for title. And Call Equiname took who, as a jockey, rode Red Now that you are a Star of the Pride, which question would you like the former champ Sunday night, recounting the F the twice rearranged Victor Rum to his historic third Grand added to the profile list for next weeks Star, Women’s Footballer, Holly ups and downs of the man who considered himself Chandler Chase, eventually run National win in 1977, has James? “the greatest.” Among those on hand for the event at at Kempton, with my Flying recently regained conscious- As someone similarly falsely accused of a string of drunken encounters with the MGM Grand hotel-casino was former heavy- Instructor nowhere to be seen. ness after being hospitalised the opposite sex [Which was followed by an unreserved printed apology - weight champion Mike Tyson, who defeated Last week’s unplaced figures following a bout of meningitis Sports Ed.] how does it feel to have to sneak across Campus on Thursday Francois Botha 24 hours earlier. were wrong, with my current last month. mornings in BoJ’s clothes, hoping that people don’t get the wrong idea? stats now being 11 winners, 8 Neither Tyson nor Ali spoke to the crowd, although placed and 9 unplaced. Tony McCoy this week makes both posed for pictures with fans and family invited Thankyou, Miss Johnstone, and may I apologise profusely in advance his return to action following to the private dinner party. Ali, who suffers from for any libellous or insulting comments that may have accidentally been A few good races coming up his latest ban for excessive use Parkinson’s disease, had shown his support for Tyson typed into this profile due to a handwriting transcription difficulty with this weekend, with plenty of of the whip. He has now adopt- by appearing at Tyson’s reinstatement hearing before my optical scanner. Furthermore, the views expressed in this money available. One bizarre ed a different riding style, the Nevada State Athletic Commission in October, publication are those of individual authors and do not necessarily sight though, is the £18, 000 which has seen him cement his and being on hand for his comeback fight. represent the views of the Editor, the Editorial Board, the Pillar Chase at Cheltenham place at the top of the winner’s University of Surrey Students’ Union or the University of Surrey. A over three miles and a furlong, board, 18 wins ahead of Singer Gladys Knight, a long time friend, praised Ali that has had to reopen entries Richard Johnson, himself start- fascinating question for Miss James, whose position on the profiling at the birthday dinner, noting one of her sons was due to a lack of interest. At the ing a ban. The Jockey Club schedule leaped several weeks over the past few days with the news named after him. Tyson then helped wheel out a same venue, the Ladbroke have announced a minimum that she may be packing up her mini-skirt and high heels for the birthday cake in the shape of a boxing ring and Ali Handicap Chase, over two suspension of 10 days for the quiet life. I’ll expect you sometime on Monday Holly, although I helped cut the cake as the crowd chanted the name miles and five furlongs, sees offence in future. of, arguably, the greatest heavyweight boxer that has won’t specify a time in case you have to rush off ice-skating sud- Cyfor Malta bidding to make it ever lived. by George Pavlou denly, or enjoy lunch in the Library Restaurant! six wins out of seven, which I Surrey Pride We’re ALIVE! Campusport News before. Rules are available wo days after Christmas Wanted Campusport are from Campusport. We will and the Mountaineering currently recruiting student also be having workshop ses- club are off again, using coaches and sports leaders for T sions for Korfball and Frisbee various forms of transport to the Easter and Summer vaca- so that people can have the the winter climbing epicentre tion periods. If you are staying opportunity to get to know the of Fort William, Scotland. in the area and are interested in games and rules. For more During the following weeks we being involved in our vacation information regarding ID climbed, stayed overnight in a sports courses please contact sports please contact Dave snow-hole, skied and had the John Perrin or Sally Eadie at Targett or Sally Eadie at the odd epic. the sports centre. Please bring sports centre. details of qualifications and Day one - While some of the dates available. group was still travelling up the Sports two-man advanced party decid- Campusdance would Programme ed the go for a quick walk up like to apologize to all the peo- Its not too late to join in any of Ben Nevis, however, not want- ple who have been attending our wide range of sports class- ing to become benighted on the line dancing, unfortunately we es and courses. There are still first day turned back just below could not find another teacher spaces available for Badminton the summit. Soon after arriving in time for the start of this workshops and Squash and back more of the group arrived, semester. Thanks for all your Golf courses and many other now the real fun could begin. support and watch this space exciting sports. Everyone is for more information. welcome to come along to our Day two – With the news of an for several members we did Dan”, an epic race was held, back to reality(?), already wide range of aerobics and fit- avalanche having killed four well to finish without being three teams on three different hatching plans for the SPLAT, ness classes. These are not just people, we packed our sacks Interdepartmental blown off, or falling down the routes (each about 500m long), the summer jaunt to the Alps. for the super fit. Circuits for all with all the gear needed to exposed rib. last team back buys the beers! Sport is on Monday, Tuesday and spend two days and the night The winners were Dunc and If you like the sound of this, Thursday evenings and there on the 4000ft+ Aonach Mor, Thanks to all those who attend- Day six – While most of the Colin who skilfully tackled a come along to the club, all are are aerobics classes on every neighbour of Ben Nevis and ed the interdepartmental sport team vegged out, the moun- rib, which in places wasn’t welcome. We meet at night of the week. We aim to site of the tragedy. The follow- Reps meeting. If you did not taineering bug had taken a firm much wider than this page with Campusport’s Climbing wall, offer something for everyone. ing two days were spent walk- attend here is what you missed. hold of Arwel, Joe, and Dan. sheer drops on either side on Wednesdays 3-5pm or ing up, round, sliding down and Friday 29th Jan is the last date The day had in store a ten-hour (crawling was optional…). Neil Tuesdays 8-10pm, it will cost sleeping in the snow covered for entries for this semester. Campusdance climb, two close calls with and Tom, the valiant losers, you absolutely nothing. If you Monday 8th Feb is the starting mountain. The Campusdance Programme nearby avalanches and a whilst stopping every 10 min- have never climbed before, date for fixtures. Sports on kicked off this week with a benightment. The 14 hour epic utes for fag breaks, managed to there will be a FREE offer this term are 5 a side Day four - New years day. great attendance at the free ses- ended at 9pm. get themselves completely lost Beginners’ course running Football, Mixed Korfball, Truly hung-over, we HIT the sions. The new courses of and arrived back a good hour Wednesday afternoons, starting Touch Rugby, Ultimate piste and went skiing and snow Breaking and Contemporary For the remaining six days the after everyone else. week 3, Feb 3rd. For more Frisbee, Mixed Badminton and boarding. went down particularly well routine was climb, eat, drink, details on any aspect of the club Team Squash. (Ultimate with everyone who attended. sleep and not die. No more Unfortunately, time and money e-mail Dan Frisbee is 4 players on a team Day five - With the arrival of There are still places available epics just amazing climbs with were running out so with great ([email protected]) or not 2 as stated in the leaflet). If the remainder of our team, we for all of the courses but they a backdrop of amazing scenery. reluctance (and cursing the lack Colinyou want to be involved speak set out to complete the clubs are going fast. Reserve your of half-term breaks) we said ([email protected]). to your departmental reps. first winter climb of 1999. As place at the sports centre. To celebrate the 20th birthday farewell for another year to this Everyone is welcome, you this was the first winter climb John Perrin of our esteemed chairman “Sir snowy playground and headed By Dan Sudbury and Colin don’t need to have played Talk of the Devil Basketball Tournament Get Caught with Surrey 3 on 3 Cricket Club by Paul Cliff, Sports Editor 6th February 1999 At Univ. Of Surrey Sports Hall inter is now upon us the spring semester in prepara- edicated to the mem- minds of the Varsity situated Organised by the Union’s Sports Officer so it won’t be long tion for the coming season. We bership representation United faithful. Within minutes in conjunction with the Wuntil the 10 weeks of are looking for players of all ethos of a true student the game, dominated through- D Hellenic Society the spring semester are over standards with a view to run- newspaper, I usually try to keep out by the Old Trafford side, and summer is back again. ning two teams one of which most of my own personal hopes began to bear true witness to For more information see Posters around University or Contact Summer may mean many will be competing in the BUSA and biases out of any sports the better team as a delicately things depending on who you league. reports that I may produce, but chipped free-kick from are: sun, exams, going home If you are interested in playing I cannot contain myself after Beckham found Cole at the far Dinos on 01483 569073 for rules, terms & conditions & maybe? But what could be some cricket and you want to the events of Sunday afternoon. post who nodded across the application forms. more summer than that great attend these net sessions then face for Yorke to tap home. old English pastime, cricket. please send an e-mail to the fol- Slightly outnumbered by Relieved and happy to see us Applications due 5th Feb 99 The cricket club will be organ- lowing address: mu71gb@sur- Liverpool followers, I sat with travel to Anfield for the replay, Return to Helenic Society Pigeon Hole. ising coaching sessions on a rey.ac.uk, giving your name intrepidation as a colleague emaol [email protected] Sunday afternoon that will be and telephone extension. talked me through the extended I couldn’t believe our luck as a open to all students throughout Varsity bar menu. “I’ll go for goalmouth scramble in injury the bacon roll” I said, as Gary (Ferguson) time ended with the University of Surrey Neville committed defensive Baby Faced Assassin’s killer suicide losing sight of Michael blow. I truly feel for the Women’s Football Club Owen, with Berg still doing his Liverpool supporters who after pre-match warm up, as coming so close to victory must WHETHER YOU HAVE NEVER KICKED England’s World Cup superkid now face the very real possibil- A BALL BEFORE OR ARE THE FEMALE nodded calmly past Schmeichel ity of another trophyless sea- MICHAEL OWEN from Heggem’s by-line cross. son, despite the increasingly 1-0 down after only 3 minutes resolute leadership of Gerard EVERYONE IS WELCOME as I chewed my sarnie nervous- Houllier. Aahh, shame! As Training Times ly amidst a bevvy of taunts and United face Keegan’s Fulham Thursdays 7-8pm on ATP at the Varsity Centre jibes from Pool and ‘neutral’ in the 5th round (it couldn’t Sundays 2-4pm on ATP/Grass at the Varsity Centre mates alike. have been written in The club is made up of people friendlies. Social events Hollywood more dramatically) of all levels – many had never include the Christmas Dinner, As the game wore on, the over- I fully expect the taunts of the kicked a ball before coming to Annual Dinner, Pub Crawls, whelming possession and terri- neutral, indeed I’m oddly com- university. All you need to do and finishing the year off with torial advantage that United forted by their unchanging is turn up at training and bring a tour abroad. had, should have filled me with recognition of United’s a pair of trainers. Most equip- increasing confidence, but I supremacy, but fully expect ment for a match can be bor- IF YOU WANT TO GET began to feel it was going to be Fergie’s red and white army to rowed from the club. INVOLVED – Just turn up at one of those days. I suffered have the last laugh. In the training, drop a note into the this stomach turning tension for words of Old Blue Eyes, “They We play in BUSA and SESSA Women’s Football pigeon hole 78 minutes before the arrival of all laughed at Christopher matches on Wednesdays and in the Union or ring Anne on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer and a Columbus, when he said the Sundays. We are also in the 01483 569993 for more info. new injection of hope into the world was round....” County cup and arrange local