THE MICHIGAN REVIEW Volume 13! Number 6 The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan November 22 1994 Civil Liberty Watchdog Arrives
BY NATE JAMJ80N campus. "There is a chapter of the '!he SCLW is just in the forming with the administration on such is~ American Civil Liberties Union stage right now. Kirschner estimates sues as the Code, the Diag Policy, and URING THE PAST FEW (ACLU) in the Law School, but people that about 20 people have expressed funding for the Ann Arbor Tenants yean, the admjnistration of just join so they can put it on their interest in the group, whidl is not yet Union (AATU). "'!bey are not rec;lep D the University of Michigan resum~s," Kirschner said. Other officially recognized by the Michigan tive to student input. We hope to baa approved several policies that un- groups on campus address free change that," Kirschner said ooncem dermine the civil liberties and free speech and civil liberties, but do ing the administration. He also hopes speech rights of atudents. The stu- not focus on those issues. "Both to publish a newsletter to keep stu dent body has shown little oppoaition the College Democrats and the dents informed about civil liberties. to the Diag Policy, the Code, and the College Republicans have an in- 'Ibe Student Rights Commission Alcohol Policy,largely because there te:rest in free speech, but they ofMSA was active previously to. fight is no student group dedicated to pro- are too busy doing other things ing for students' rights, but has ~ . tecting student rights. This will soon to have much impact. " Kirsdmer jneffectoal in recent years. "MSA has change, however, with the fonnation fonees the SCLW becoming a been fairly silent about things that oCtile Student Civil Liberties Watch group devoted solely to protect- they should be vocal about," s~d . (SCLW). ing ci.villiberties. Kirschner. "'!hey seem incapable of Ethan Kirechner, a sophomore in The third reason is that there The Code wli bum. Oh, yea. It wi! tun. taking a strong position on issues." the College ofLiterature, Science, and is a definite need for a student group Student Assembly (MBA). 'Ibe group In order to do this, the SCLW the ArtB, recently founded the organi- devoted to protecting the rights of will have a mass meeting after must first attract a large number of . zation as a response to the National students. According to Kirschner, Thanksgiving. students from both ends ofthe politi Women'. Rights Organizing Coalition "'There has been a tendency toward After establishing the group, cal spectrum. Kirchner stated, "This . (NWROC) and their activities, which limiting speech., and there needs to be Kirschner hopes to attract enough will be a diverse, non-ideological are fundamentally opposed to free a stUdent group with an active voice members to actually have some sort group dedicated to protecting civil . speech. -Anyone with half a brain at to ensure that doesn't happen. " of impact. He hopes to have in..PJ1t liberties." )R ::~~~I Russian Prof Bashes PC-dom Kirachner aaid. 1be SCLW is not simply an anti BY GREG PARKER as a facet of communism; it is ironic the Ru.eai.an environment is in grave NWROC group, though. "'NWROC that they are also being pursued here. danger. Gontarevattributes this to prov.idee a starting point for a discus N'IHURSDAY, NOVEMBER Gontarev said that political c0r thf;t fact that since the Russian state sion about free apeech, but this group 17, Dr. Boris Gontarev ap rectness took itB ultimate form in com tried to hide all mistakes, like the is much, much more than just being O peared at the University of munist Russia. As a professor dmiDg Chernobyl disaster, the public never againet the NWROC," said Kirsclmer. Michigan to speak about the CUITent the Cold War, he had to censor his really learned of the dangers of cer "NWROC is 80 obnoxious and nasty, political, economic and spiritual con lectures and. devote total allegiance to tain environmental actions. that to limply be against them dition of Rus-na. In the early '80s, the state. When Gontarev rated According to Gontarev, religion wouldn't be much at all." Gontarev, president and academic American universities (placing the was also a p'Ob1em in the Soviet Unim, 'Ibere are three primary reasons dean of the Academy of World Civili University of Michigan 5th), he had as the state forced people to be athe why Kiracb.ner decided to form the zations in Moscow, was the first Rus to add disclaimers to his work. pub ists. To Gan1arev, religion is the source SCLW. Fint, he was outraged by sian to rate American universities. lished in Russia, stating that while ofbaaic mores and ethial, and without groupe such as NWROC that are try Gontarev said that he was going American universities are good, they this a republic is doomed to f8il While ing to abridge free speech rights. '1 to deviate from his routine lecture are still a product of capitalism. Gontarev despises state-nm religion, don't have a problem with them when because ofa November 14,1994 Uni Gmtarev thinks that political c0r he nevertheless thinks that basic reli they deal wit;h women's issues, but venity Record article, entitled "Mi rectness is ODe ofthe primary reasons gious mores are necessary in a suc that 18 cmly part of what they do." He nority enrollment hits all time high... Russia is in its current state. '!he cessful society.· thinb that NWROC uses women's He said that issues like minority re government told citizens what to. Gontarev attacked all forma of s0- iaauea a8 a recruiting tool, but adds cruitment represent yet another face think, and now, when Russians are cialism, and quite candidly pointed that NWROC also bas an agenda. that of political correctness, and that uni able to think and speak their minds out that the only places in the world attacks free speech. versities should base admissions only much more freely, they do not know where socia1iBD) is really accepted are The second reason is that there on merit. In Russia, quotas resem what to do. 1lris sunaces in many American universities. How fitting, are no active civil liberties groups on bling affirmative action were enacted CUITent Russian issues. For example, especially here at the U-M. )ft
3 Conphormfty at 4 From Suite 7 Fun While Open Letter to 1 10 Multitudes of Ita Best One CRISPing 19 -Pattrice Maurer 1 Music
Phi8h phwls flounder in an u-M needs a serious Including The Wizard of Oz Pattrk:e, we've been wrong u-M atum Chip Davis goes antkonformiat failure; hop curriculum, one that and a new "1-9OO-CRISP- all along-can you find It in to RussIa; echobeIty, on the vw Bandwagon. teaches students to think.. ME" hotline. your heart to forgive us? Scarce and Big Audio dont
,.-...... ~~., ~~.""" " , -".-" ... "-,...,.,"' ...,, " .-.~ -, ..... ,..,.,,""',,,.,..,,'.. "-.- .... "' "....".,..~"' ... >.," ...... '''''.. '''''"'' ..--- ~-.'''''''''' -...... -~.,.,.,."....", ,. """"--'-I"------_ ____...... ~- ioi_;;;;;;;~_-______2 THE MICIflGAN REVIEW November 22, 1994 o SERPENT'S TOOThl., ., I H: l\11 C H J( JAN I~J : V I L \V The Campus Affairs Journal of the Unlverstty of Michigan "Thanks for sex, drugs, and AK-47s." Tortured artist and heartthrob support or his children'8 medical bills. TOP TEN UNKNOWN Jolumy Depp quoted in US magazine AMENDMENTS TO THE ISSUE EDITOR: R.chII c.rdone about the Hollywood rumor mill: A woman in Cameroon recently was EDrr~IEF : Nata Jimison STUDENTS CODE: "Don't 8ay a word to nobody about stunned when a cow fell through her PUBlISHER: Eric I.aIIon nothing anytime ever." Don't take no roof. Reportedly, the woman believes 10. Students get no legal representa MANAQING EDITOR: Jan. A. RobertI, II FUlUAES EDITOR: Greg PIrkIr grammar cla88 anytime never either, the cow was an omen of black magic tion unless they're a Kennedy. CAMPUS AFFAIRS EDITOR: DIan Blkopoulol right Johnny? and has moved out of her house say 9. Sexual harassment of squirrels ing, "I am sure this cow was a warn punishable by death. IIJSIC EDrTOA: Drew Peen Star Trek: GeneratioM hit theaters ing. I can't live here any longer." In 8. Fail your R.O.E. course, lose a fin ASSISTANT EDITORS: GeM Kr.a. MoIIIn KrilhnIn last Friday. In a related story, the other news, anonymoU8 sources re ger. aACULAllON DIRECTOR: EltkSchnurain FUNDRAISING DIRECTOR: MIll RectICIIn Engineering Department reported port seeing Newt Gingrich and Jesse 7. Ifaccused of breaking the Code, you UUSlRA TOR: Brian O'K"" mysterioU8 non-attendance in all of Helms hoisting a cow onto the White may forego the trial by the Student COIFtIT£R CONSULTANT: WI! NeIeon its classe8. House roof. Judiciary Board and have your dis PHOTOGRAPHER: u.. WII_ pute settled here, in our forum, The STAFF: Jonathan Canedo, Kevin Coctello, lin Board '!he University of Regents ap Anyone else think George People's Court. GoIdenbefa. B..... Kepple, .Ien.n.. LIn_, Ann proved a raise of $26,348 last Thurs StephanOpoul08 has looked very, very 6. Civil Liberties, Shmivil shmiberties...... AIIIIIIr, fIIIghM ...... SluSlndllr, day for U-M president James drunk lately? 5. Opium is okay...... s... Duderstadt. Shortly afterward, 4. Ifyou get the DPS to kick your 888 Duderstadt stunned University offi Due to the recent shift in political on videotape, no charges will be fi1ed. EDITOR EIERRUS: TrKy AobInIon ~ EIEAfTUS: Aaron S...... dale by requesting a trade to the power on Captial Hill, The Economist 3. First time offenders get 30 hours Washington Bullets. reports that: "The mournful hum of community service and must lis1ml to laser printers churning out job appli Skid Row's "Eighteen and Life" until n. AII:tIUM RMttr II If! ndepeI .... tJi-.weeIItt IN- According to U.S. News and World cations is deafening." they get the message. dIIII lilt jIunII_" lJnttdIy " McIIIguL We neIhIr IGIII:t nor ..tnOrIItIry donIIIonI hom III UtWIf1Iy Report, Georgia GOP House Candi 2. Open containers of alcohol permit " ~ Ind hwt no ...... Iof IfIYOM thII does. date Bob BlUT baaed his campaign on 1hi.s week is Eating Disorders Aware ted provided you're "sippin on gin 'n' ~ to .. Mlt:hlgMRt* .. IU~ fiunily values. Recently, be's been sued ness Week. Thursday is 'Ibanksgiv juice." ...Sdln 501 (c)(3) "!he HImII RMcu Code. We by his ex-wife for not paying child ing. Irony can be bitter, can't it? 1. 'The Diag is a "pants optional" zone. hive no retpeCt tor the IRS (or IIf/ oIher lleglllnle ...... " ...... jpriii. i ..... "' ... llICOnd, ,. ..., _ 1I1IIgIinaIe) or tor NIWt GII9Ich and other I ...... ~ RepId:InI who Ire 10 call peqlIe 1IX ooIan Iof ...... *""wt.n Illy ...... The "....,11 ~ ....Id wWllIf/ poIIcaJ pIIty or DROVING PHOTOGRAPHER by Usa Wagner urMrIIy pcM:aI group, IIpeciIIy Itae who suct. WI ... I eecand, 1M! would be II poIIcaIlJOUPL lhIpd ..... ,...... opinion "!he edIorIIJ boIId. e.,.1IIy" ~ contct Ind;.t You ...., ..... 10 dIIprCM Ihe logic IIW weill II*> IhN Which Muppet do you think would be 1oImI*In, tor you e.nnat. S9I8d ar1icIeI and CIIIOOnI ...... opi1onI " .. dIor Ind ~ necetIIItt It.-"fit RIvIIw. The .... pr....ud Wi IhII puIj- most appetizing? ...... ~ nec>llltJtt .... "III ...... or cit. lJrMfIIy " r.tch/gIn. We welcome ...." and IItcIn Ind encounIQI cornrnentIlbcU Ihe jownal.
At-. ....II ~ IIqIirln to: PutIInr. do ,. Victoria Pistachio ''''!. Cathy Arend !he ~~. Alldvenillng .... 1houId be dnc:IId 10: PIdIhIf c/o !he ~ RMttr. JUIUor,TSlddernny .- JUIUor, LSA «Animal. because he's pretty ,~, «The chickens, because I EaDrIII ANI a-.-0ftI0II: Sult an. nutty," A don't like frog legs,» 111 N. lMIwnIly Avenue Ann AItIof , " 411 ..1_ "," 4.-..... "-' ~. ~ . :, tI". _. ~. ~ "l EIIAI.: lIAEV.u..... u I~~...... :~ ...,' ..' ': ~; : Til. (11,.1G-1101 Fa (11,. tIW505 ~...... • J ~e l_ . "n...... 1IIc. M".,.--'
Jonah Smith Ben Lowery Sophomre, LSA Freshman, Engineering WED LIKE 10 «Gonzo. because there's ,~ I «The Critics. because I like REMIND YOU THAT THE probably a lot of weird stuff tough meat," , UNCENSORED CONTENT in his nose," OF THIS NEWSPAPER IS MADE POSSIBLE BY THE CONSTITlITION OF THE UNITED STATES. THE CONSTITlITION 'The words we live ~
T< ...." __ -. W (An.""""", "'"" Co"n,,,,,,,,,,. ~ . IWI DC !a m •• • _' ~ ""."". ,>·.·,~" " ·"""" '.~ _ _ 'm '_'''' __"=, '''~ '''_ ''''> _ _ ,, "1'»_"" "'_""'W.~_~~. i" ' ''. ;,.... "~~~_ ___...... _""' __ _ November 22t 1994 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 3 o EsSAY Deadheads: Get a Life "% ,p BY DEAN BAKOPOULOS health and ethical reasons. But many phy, they at least believed. in some Suburbia where Mom and Dad are of these vegans can be seen sucking in thing noble, and had a purpose to awaiting them with open arms and OMETHING PlUSHY WAS nitrous gas, ingesting mushrooms, their existence other than following a open wallets. Many of the "hippies" going on last Wednesday out and doing shots ofJaegermeister. An rock band. gathered in VW busses outside ofHill Sside ofHill Auditorium: painted individual is free to do as he wishes, But today's hippified college stu auditorium last Wednesday night are busses, s11'ay dogs, and dancing drum and drug use is a personal matter, but dents are doing nothing more than the same frat boys and sorority girls circles overwhelmed CentnU Campus. pretending to be so capitalizing on a we see around campus, wearing $150 Indeed, something phishy was going health-conscious trend, jumping on outfits from. Urban Outfitters and tool on. The neo-hippie band Phish made and then wrecking the bandwagon of ing around in Jeep Cherokees. its way through Ann Arbor and your mind, your VW busses, and A few weeks ago, I wrote a piece brought with it its usual caravan of lungs, and your spewing forth a lot on the myth of Generation X Many of "phans," as well as drawing a sell-out liver is nonsensi ofdeadhead meto the deadheads would probably have crowd which included numerous Uni cal. AB for their ric. Too many nodded. in approval at the comments versity students. pro-animal rights deadheads and I made about superficiality and con 'lhe legendary status oftbe Grate stance, I wish phans are shifting fonnity. Unfortunately, they are guilty ful Dead seems to have trickled. down they would apply their lifestyle on of the same thing. Each individual to Phish, and many college-age stu their stance to the basis of this has his own life, with which he may do dents are becoming engulfed in the their own pets. g en e r at ion al whatever he wishes. But there is same wave ofneo-hippieism that is rush Many dogs seen at trend. Outside of thing wrong with a group that simply ing across the nation's campuses. Sup such concerts are concerts, dead follows a trend set by other college posedly, these phishheads and dead dirty, thirsty, and heads beg for students. There is something more to heads are non- ,~,, ___~""""~~;~~~""'">~,>_~~<"""""''',,'''~~w,,~'''< .. '\''''''''_"'_~,,~>, i''''''_~ __''''''' .....~''''>'''_'''_'''''_,,>V''''''ffl''''''''~_, ______..... __.... ______4 THE MIcmGAN REVIEW November 22, 1994 o FROM SUITE ONE ~U~EL,( 1'\.l~ MUC7i ae ~l-\ WOANG~EO C;?ec.les U-M Fails Academically ~~NO t\e.~e t?oMEWI-\~ ~ DEGREE FROM A PRESTIGIOUS UNIVERSITY SUPPOSEDLY marks the maturity of the mind. After suffering through four years of A classes and university politics, students embarking in the s~ed real world should feel aseured that they will be able to swvive and succeed. Unfortunately, under current policies, students are able to graduate without a strong foundation of general knowledge; rather, they leave with a knowledge of their field of concentration, plus a few selected introductory courses that meet the distribution requirement. A graduate entering the work force should have a strong sense of Western civilization and American history, in addition to a broad knowledge of science, math, and English, which allow a person to function in the marketplace. One must be able to make decisions and take responsibility for their actions, a quality derived from a strong background in these subjects. One must be able to dissect an argument for its worth, and not simply value everything as truth. A university-«iucated student must be able to logically interpret information, 0:... write effectively, and be well-rounded academically. Without these skills, one = ~- may find it a burden to adapt to the real world. While the University of Michigan's College of Literature , Science, and Arts (LSA) has set requirements that aim to fulfill these goal, it is failing to provide its graduates with the education they pay for and therefore deserve. In 1991, the U-M enacted the Race or Ethnicity Requirement (ROE), which o COMMENTARY seeks to "address issues arising from racial or ethnic intolerance." To qualify, a ROE class "must provide discussion, consistent with disciplinary approaches of the meaning of race, ethnicity, and racism.; racial and ethnic intolerance and resulting inequality as it occurs in the United States or elsewhere." This Prop. 187 Legitimizes assumes that th08e who take the class are racially intolerant and must be disciplined by the U-M. Furthermore, the administration fails to explain how the Welfare State a single class will change one's view of other races and cultures. Such classes often espouse leftist politics, and consequently, they do not effectively promote p'~ thought and discussion. Instead many present the idea that one should view NE OF THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL RESULTS OF THE 1994 everything as a form of truth, which confuses the mind that mes to dissect an elections concerns Proposition 187, a California proposal that strictly argument and formulate a steadfast opinion. A student who has fulfilled the Olimits the aooess ofillegal immigrants to public education and assistance. ROE requirement has not learned how to think; more often than not he or she The proposition, which passed rather easily, assumes that illegal immigration is subjected to taking a class which attempts to teach them what to think. They is the source of state budget shortfalls; it asserts that California taxpayers merely have fulfilled a requirement, which defeats the purpose of the class in should not bear the cost of financiaJJy supporting those who are residing in the the first place. ' state illegally. Immigration, however, is a scapegoat for many frustrated The most recent requirement, the Quantitative Reasoning Requirement voters; the fundamental problem is the welfare state itself. (QRR) was enacted. this past year for the freshmen class. According to the The recent political landscape in California has given the issue ofimmigration University Bulletin, the QRR strives to "ensure that every graduate of the a prominent role. Under CUITent law, all immigrants - both legal and illegal College adrieves a certain level ofproficiency in using and analyzing quantitative - may enroll in public schools and are eligible for state welfare programs. A information. " As quantative reasoning is important, the QRR definitely falls great deal of popular opinion believes that immigrants, especially illegal ones, within the boundaries of producing a well-rounded student. Yet computer have become a burden on the state budget. Furthermore, this opinion holds that classes are not included in the body of classes which satisfy this criteria, despite illegal immigrants - given then- illegal status - have no right to the public their obvious relation to the topic. Given this, one must question to what assistance funded by legally residing taxpayers. By denying public money to standards do the makers of these requirements adhere. illegal immigrants, Proposition 187 seeks to solve this problem. Besides the distribution requirements and the ROE and QRR, the only Given that it reduces state funds to illegal immigrants, Proposition 187 other requirements a student must fulfill for are one semester of introductory may appear to reduce the size of government. This initiative, in reality, composition, a junior/senior writing requirement, and a fourth term proficiency reaffirms a precedent that is dangerous to any free society. By targeting merely in a foreign language. The U-M must address the shortcomings of these illegal immigrants for welfare reductions, proponents of this proposal condone requiremenbl. While studies show that the quality of writing of college students public assistance, provided it benefibl only legal residents. That is, Proposition is declining, the U-M has made no substantial effort to resolve the problem. 187legi.timizes the welfiu-e state by citing illegal immigration as the fimdamental While four semesters of a foreign language may indeed be required. to gain problem, rather than the welfare state itself proficiency, proper uee of the English language must be stressed even more, as The true problem facing not only California but all of America is the very English is largely the language of this country and of the business world. This existence of the welfare state. With public assistance, an individual's right to is not to disa'edit the impartance ofleaming how to think. in another language,but private property is abridged, for the state has the authority to confiscate the priorities of the U-M are skewed ifthey continue to disregard serious study property and redistribute it throughout society. Such a scenario is not consistent of the English language as a prerequisite to success in the modem world. with the principle ofliberty, and is not compatible with the Founding Fathers' Living in a Western country, one would assume that the U-M would require philosophy of limited, constitutional government. a course in the history of the west or in western thought, especially in light of The fact that illegal immigrants are on the welfare doles - expanding the these other requirements. The lack of a requirement in American history, state's budget and increasing the level of taxation - is not what ails California. Western civilization, or Western philosophy suggests that the U-M does not In fact, this is completely irrelevant, for the we11ilre system. that has led to this aim to graduate well-rounded individuals into the world. One who graduates situation is itselfillegitimate. Had. the state supported only legal residents with with. a general. knowledge of a foreign language, one class about an oppressed. welfare dollars, it still would have violated the rights of the individual. group, and one class in reasoning does not know the basics ofhigher education. Proposition 187 presents a fallacious argument, for it begs the question They do not have a foundation from which they can think for themselves. The concerning the wel18re state. A more beneficial initiative would cite the welfare U-M has an obligation to provide an education for its students. It must state - not immigration - as a bmden to residents and liberty. Proposition 187 reevaluate the current requirements in the interests of the students and the simply addresses a consequence of this larger, more serious problem and, future; Ml ',,' " . . ' ,"" .., ' '. '.. . ',: ,.' ;-. . . '.', ' ...,' . . . ' . . . . ; . furthennore, ,senrea to legitimize t'tm probk;il:i'ftSelf'Ml ' ':''''James'A. ''ROberl:lI, II November 22, 1994 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 5 o EsSAY Intellectual Graffiti BY GREG P A.RKER darkness' annals is not my cup of tea. couraged." This is taken from the see this wonderful saying from natu Actually, it is ironic for this building Northwest Ordinance, and is carved ralist Louis Agassiz. There isn't much. PPROXIMATELY 36,000 to preach about learning history, be above the entrance to Angell Hall. wrong with this one, but I am sure students venture in and out cause the University's historical revi Looks like someone forgot about that environmentalists could find some A of University buildings every sionist curriculum seems to under little clause in the Constitution that thing to bitch about - they always day, but many never see the writing mine everything it stands for. seperates cllUrch. and state. '!his quote do. Maybe "going to nature" will con on the wall. There are a myriad of "Angell Hall Renovation: Funded sounds more like it came from Onvell's tribute to erosion, exploitation of the quotations engraved on the walls of by the people of the state of Michl 1984 rather than the Northwest Or environment, or some other enviro many prominent University ofMicbi iJan." '!his appears on a construction dinance. And it is ironic that the lingo. I think the environmentalists gan buildings, often invisible to the sign near the corner of North Univer-· ., .. should take Agassiz's advice and go to passere-by who do not pay any atten sity and State Street. Well, I am a nature and put the facts in their own tion to the insightful sayings. Axiom "person of the state ofMicbigan," and hands. Maybe then they would dis atic and sometimes controversial, no one asked me if I wanted to take cover their erroneous ways. these pa88age& figuratively and liter part in funding the Angell Hall reno "Learned and cultured lawyers ally represent the U-M. vation. In fact, I am sure that no one are the safeguard of the repub "Tradition fades but the written asked any individual in the state of ARCHITECT CONTRACTOR lic." I laugh. These words thatap record remaina ever fresh." This Michigan if they wanted to partici ALFlU'.T ~ A660tIATt6 ~~~ pear at the entrance of the Law Li gem appears on the Clements Library, pate in funding this renovation. Be ~ ..1It.U\&A)I t'ET®lT~ brary are the understatement of the locah:ld behind the Graduate Library. sides, in-state students are essen- • • century. It doesn't take a genius to It is very appropriate for a library, but tially paying twice for the renovation, Northwest Ordinance speaks of"mo figure out that lawyers are the safe it sounds like a deodorant ad. Maybe through state taxes and increased rality ... and the happiness of man guard of the republic; hell, they make . William Clements was a strong advo tuition. Yes, Angell Hall needs to be kind" while it gave the government up the republic. Look at Congress - cate for.. book hygiene. '!his quote says fixed-up, but I still find it odd that the an excuse to mow down Native Ameri but I wouldn't exactly call most of more than that, however. It comments state thanks me for money it coerced cans by the score in order to settle the these people "learned." on the abandonment of We stem cul (read: stole) frmn me in the first place. frontier. And the contradiction in the "Abandon hope, all ye who enter ture for a more PC alternative. "Religion, morality and knowl phrase "good government" appalls me. here." Actually, this doesn't appear - "In darb_ dwells people who edge being essential to good gov "Go to nature, take the facts into anywhere on campus, but rather on know ita anna. not." This appetU'B ernment and the happiness of your own handa, look and see for the gate to hell in Dante's Infenw. It on the other side of the Clements mankind, schools and the me8D8 yourself." Look at the top of the should appear above every entrance Library. But, alas, getting to know of education shall forever be en- Natural Science museum an~ you'll to the university. Mt o FROM OUR READERS , Kraft Case Moot • Dear Editor, sure, partnership dissolution. This Before you comment on legJll is was nothing unusual. sues again, try to run your stuff past Third, there is no appeal. How someone who knows a bit more about could there be? The Krafts came into the law, a ·first year law student for court and asked the judge to order example. I refer, of course, to your their house sold. How could they then attack on the '"reprehensible" and "de tell an appeals court that the judge plorable" decision in the racial ha was wrong for granting their request? rassment case in Chicago. You com The decision will therefore stand. pletely overlook the fact that the It is poesible that Y9u have a prob court's order was based on a settle lem with people proceeding in the No Gimmicks ment, which changes everything. courts against racial discrimination First, there will be no trial, and no and. harassment? Trying to "defend" a one bas to prove anything. Why should neighborhood and to drive "those No Come-ons they? The Krafts admitted doing ev people" out is a serious matter. It got erything they were accused of. They the Krafts in a great deal of trouble, may have told the media they didn't and frankly, they deserve what they do it, but they admitted it - or at got. least agreed not to dispute it - in the only place that counts, in court. Sincerely, Second, there are very few limits EricA Ebel on what kind of order the court can Attorney at Law make. Ifthe Krafts had gone to trial and been found liable, the only relief would have been a money judgement - which might have cost them their The Review welcomes letters to the home anyway - and an order not to editor, complaints, praise, and com do it again. But in a settlement, thingB ments. Please mal oorrespondence to: are wide ~ 'Ihn are certain kinds ofre1ief that no court can order even The Michigan Review as part of a eettlement, such. as hav Suite One UE THAN A BOOKSTORE ing people whipped, but courts order 911 N. Uriversity Avenue 549 East University · 662-3201 property aold every day in a number Ann Arbor MI 48109-1265 Mon-Fri 9 to 6 Sat 9:30 fo 5 Sun Noon to 4 o~~Yil : ~~~ . -::-, . di~,J:~~ 1 . ~,.- ;': " , <·,··~ ·,..v''''' '''''_··'"·'' '''''_><_~''''''''' "''~"·''''''''''''''' ·'''''''·· "'"' r,.,,.'''''''''''''-'''''''''''''''''·''_'N ___"""' h_ I'I\'~ ~""~} '_~~~~."" _____# __ _ ""__ "" ______"' ___ __------6 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW November 22, 1994 o SATIRE CRISPy, ~egistration BY MOHAN KRISHNAN If you have the luck ofbeing as nonsense is about. Repeat this with single class in the engineering core signed a time at Angell Hall, and you different universities until someone requirements. After doing this, come T IS 'JliATWONDERFUL 'llME still want to avoid phone CRISP, here shoots you. For extra pointa, use a back ten minutes later and tell the of year again. Bright, colorful are a few things you could do that will lousy accent and claim to be a foreign counselor that you need to drop 50 I leaves cnmch under your feet 88 make the prooesa more annoying and student. credits, because you hit the wrong you walk around campus (ifit hasn't confusing. Grumble continuously the entire button on your HP-48GX rained recently), the mornings are Pick. your favorite song from a time about why McDonald's is inside Here is something you can do be chilly, and the air is crisp. Wait. I said musical. - for instance, the Wizard of Angell Hall now and why you have to fore CRISPing, which is equally fun. CRISP. That was pretty oool. Yea, Oz. Start singing as ,.--______-, Go to the English department office. unfortunately, 'Ihanksgiv:ing week BOOn as you get in line, Tell them that you are a mechanical end will be aurrounded by wailing and recruit other stu engineering student, and that you are and gnashing of teeth a8 atudenta dents in line to be other interested in doubl&-lD.9joring in En onre again try to get at least a third. of characters in the musi glish literature. Proceed to show them. the clasaes they want. cal. See ifyou can get to a list of ME courses you think should One new thing around this year is the Emerald City before get you credit in various English phone CRISP. For extra el\ioyment, you get to the front of courses. Insist that 'lb.ermodynamics etudenta can opt to regi..8b:r fur courses the line. For extra is really a study ofBradburYs Fahr by taJking to a stupid machine for an amusement, come to enheit 451. When the secretary re hour and a half Registering by tele CRISP wearing ruby ~ fuses to give you the credita, look phone, however, is jU8t another one of red slippers. indignant and say that you're going to the waya in which the U-M is trying Wait patiently in the Communications department, to make regi.atration easier. I, on the line Wltil you get to the where your work. is appreciated. other hand, believe that registration front. At this point, I "' ~ Finally, I have a couple of sugges should be a8 painful a8 possible. It show the counselors a L...------' tions for souls crazy enough to CRISP builds character. It puts hair on your form with a ~ of classes not offered wait so long to get a hamburger. by telephone. chest. Besidea, it's a lot more ftm. that at U- M. Proceed to tell them that When the infamous computers Request an operator. When one way. you're very angry that Weetem Mimi- beep and the counselor tells you your answers, try to order some pizza. If gan i8 having ita registration so far courses are full, hint that you are the counselor argues with you, tell Mohan KrUhnan eat. CRISPy crit from campus and that you don't un- willing to make a bribe for ovenides. them. that you've gotten the midnight ten, a good wh.olaom.e bunch. derstand what all of this "crunch" When the oounse1or agrees, insist that special at this number before and they accept Entree Plus. , .." tkt you will be very angry ifit doesn't Here are some tidbits for engi arrive in 25 minutes. neers, who really don't have it that When you are put on hold, memo ~ BACKRtOM bad, but still seem to be in a huny to rize the music they play to you. Sing go this if 11"1'111 1\1"11\\ 11 11I:~ 1·,lIlllh to a meeting for some weird aca song to the machine you are '"l' demic fraternity. asked to speak. Improvising on the When you're in the middle of the theme or finding a back-up band is 605 Church St. - 741-8296 room, shuffle through a newspaper also worth bonus points. and say, "I can't believe itt They're Tell the operator that you are showing Star Trek: Generations for SOITY, and that you really hate it when free at Angell Hall, and William UMtel m.i.sdirects your aills to 1-900- Shatner is giving away autographed GOOD-SEX.. Ask if you will still be copies of his new science-fiction charged the $4.95 per minute. novell" This serves a number of pur Here is one final idea that will poses, and you get extra points for make the actual CRISP session more BACKPACK LUNCH further messing up Central Campus interesting. Watch the computer CRISP. Doing this at the bus stop on screen. As soon as your courses are Central Campus is also a good way to verified, start singing "Hail to the insure getting a seat. Victors." Make sure to do the hand SPECIAL $5.25 Insist on signing up for every motions. Ml Buy a Backpack Lunch r : '~ 6~,~ry · ~)')\\~W~~ (any grilled sandwich, sub, or burger, '~ l. choice of soup, chili, or small "tossed salad, fresh fruit & 16 oz. soft drink) and fill out When was the last time you got a ticket to enter a monthly raffle to SCREWED? (by the University, of course ... ) WIN A FREE Ifyou have a titillating tale to tell, please contact Rachel Cardone at the Michigan Review, 662-4126 or email [email protected]. BACKPACK! _ 'm '_' ~·. , ~ . _, _ __...-,.-.._~_~ ...""",.._, _,...._ ~_..._ N". _____ ..._. _ _ ... _.._., ___,_ ''' ... ~_.><''''?'"._._~._....., _ _._ __.._ " _ _ ,,; __""""""""' .'P'.,, _ _ ""~.... _ "" .. i Noveiii.l:>er 22, 1994 THE MIcmGAN REVIEW 7 DEsSAY Negative Act~9n for Minorities BY RoDEEN RAImAR tion on their own. 'Ib patch things up, society. The irony here is that affir changes in how candidates are evalu ~ it seeks out minorities to fill positions mative action propagates the very ated. Ifminorities are scoring lower FFIRMATIVE ACTION. even when others may be more quali problem it seeks to address. It is not on college entraJ¥le examinations then Institutioos an over the United fied. Unfortunately, this fails to ex elevating minorities to a level that we need to look at why this is so and A States use this mechanism to amine the problem. allows them to compete BUCCe88fully make changes. attain what is truppoeed to be a repre Why are minorities not achieving with the more advantaged groups. . The questions that need to be sentative sample of a multicultural representation on their own? Is soci Affirmative action should not give addressed are why are there racial and diverse society. Now that univer ety discriminatory? Is it institution representation where representation inequalities. and what can be done sities are aseerti.ng that sexual orien ally racist? If so, thue are what need is not due. Society needs to help mi about these imbalances? Affirmative tation is cause for aftirmative action, to be addre88ed. Society needs to fix norities achieve representation, but action should 1>& ecratdled as a viable there is cause fur ooncem. What really the very things that are creating ra not by handing it to them. It needs option. Rather, more positive solu needs to be looked at is why minorities cial inequalities. Ifthe causes of the such programs 88 educational reform tions that help minorities help them are being undenepresented. Why is problem are not addressed, the prob that would provide adequate school selves should be favored. It is only this a problem? Today it is sexual lem itself will never go away. Then ing, especially in inner-city schools then that minorities can feel proud orientation, and yestmday it was aame affirmative action Will exist forever, where higher minority populations that they can successfully compete thing else. What kinde of quirks will adjusting for a lack ofrepresentation are prevalent. Institutional racism with their peen and have the skills swface tomOlTOw? while the basic racial inequalities re needs to be abolished not by affirma they need to perpetuate representa In fairnes8, aftirmative action is main. This would be a sad case for tive action but by implementing tion on their own. Ml rooted in good intentions. There are ..~.. some undeniable problems facing so ciety. African Americana have been RESERVE OFFICERS' TRAINING CORPS systematicallyabuaed and miStz'ea.ted in the United States' past. Other mi norities have endured decades ofra cial discri.mination. To say that equal opportunity existB in the United States today when so many have been op pressed in the recent past is a rather cruel joke. I will not question this fact. Few people are questioning the fact that • affirmative action is justifiable (ex cept fur some "intellectUAls" who claim that affirmative action is reverse racism, discriminating against the majority in favor of the minority). What is being questioned is whether affirmative action really works, at least as well as it should. And the truth is that it only appears to work. By going straight to the representa tion and ignoriJig the mechanism by which it is enacted, affinnative action only superficially fixes the problem. Consider the following analogy. An English student gets an E on his first paper. His profe88or would not say, "This student should really be performing at the A-level," and then justgive the student an A This would be foolish. This is, ,in effect, saying, "my student is qualified," when in . GET MONEY FROM YOUR UNCLE INSTEAD. reality he is not Will this help stu Your Uncle Sam. Every year Army fees. They even pay a flat rate for text dents in the long run? Will they be ROTC awards scholarships to hundreds books and supplies. You can also receive able to compete in the next level? The of talented students. If you qualify, an allowance of up to $1000 each professor really n.eeda to look at how these merit-based scholarships can ~ to help students get the A, not just school year the scholarship is in give it to them. help you pay tuition and educational effect. Find out today if you qualify. Affirmative action treats minori ties in the same fashion 88 the profes sor that just hand. out A's to stu dents. Is thia firlr? Is this helpful? No, but it i8 easy. Society justifies affir ARMY ROTC mative action by claiming that mi norities CGnnot achieve representa- THE SMARTEST COUI'.GE COURSE YOU CD TAlE. Rodeen Rahbar u, a .ophomore in biology and .tofT writer for the For details, visit Room 131, North Hall or call Review . 764-3029 ...... ~.-.... - .. -".. ----.. --.-.~ .. - ..-- - ..,-,-.. . ~,,- .-----~-,-----.--. --"'-.'"~,~,------8 THE MIcmGAN REVIEW November 22,1994 o EsSAY Weighing the Odds BY LISA WAGNER An unnatural obsession with food sity of Michigan's Eating Disord~rs specialists. Dr. Sheryl Kurce, a con- can result in the development of an Program includes the following: an suIting psychiatrist to the University UST OPEN ANY F ASmON eating disorder. It is tzue that society intense preoccupation with food, Athletic Department, has a. special magazine and notice the grim, perpetuates this, but if one examines spending an abnormal amount ofti.me interest in eating disorders. She ex- J depressed, starved look of the this phenomenon on a slightly more eating, consuming large amounts of plains the lack of a program by stat- models. 'lhe American perception of analytical view, one would find that fluids, increased gum chewing, nail ing that the issues behind the devel- what is ideal has changed as onate, society promotes the insecurity of a biting or smoking, episodes of opment of this disorder are so com- and not for the bet- woman 'Ibis overeating (bingeing), obsessive plex, a healing program must be indi- ter. According to the "insecurity" thinking and behavior, indecisiveness, vidualized. She says that anywhere November 1994 issue is a result of reduced ability to concentrate, reduc- from 10 to 60 percent of female ath- of Vogue, 1Tlhe look an essential tion in self-discipline, ambition and letes have an eating disorder, with of the body we want element of alertness, narrowing of interests, 80- the highest percentage being gym- hae changed, it has stab i I it Y cial withdrawal and apathy, mood nasta. Athletes are not the only group, been getting thinner that she swings, depression, sexual apathy, however, to develop an obsession with since the 19508." Mise lacks in her sleep disturbance, and the increased weight. Americas tend to be life. She feels inability to differentiate satiation af- According to a study done peri- much slimmer than a loss of con- ter consuming a large meal. odically since 1986, the statistics of they used to be. In trol. A How can we as a society band females on campus who admit to hav- 1954, the five foot woman, as together in an attempt to draw the ing an eating disorder have remained eight inch winner vulnerable needed attention to this epidemic? relatively the same. 'lhis research weighed in at a statu- as she is to In the April 1994 issue ofAUure, was conducted by Dr. Adam esque 132 pounds. societal in- a magazine published for women, the Drewnowsld, director of the Human The 1990 winner, also fluence, will editor wrote an editorial apologizing Nutrition Program, and by Candice 5 foot 8 inches, seek to con- to her readership. She felt as though Kurth, who is a research associate in weighed only 118. trol and "fit her magazine had played a part in the Behavioral Medicine at the School of Whatever happened into" society undue portrayal ofbone-thin models. Public Health. It is comprised offresh- to the Greta Garboe as best she She wrote, "In a recent memo to our man women; two percent of whom are and the Marilyn Monroes who repre- can. One way of doing this is to control fashion department, I vowed to abol- bulimic, and 19 percent who exhibit sented the healthy, classic beauty of her weight. ish any pictures in which the models in bulimic tendencies. the past? Now Kate Moss is dancing 'This control is acted out in vary looked anorexic, clinically depressed.;... ·~ ' For students who recognize their naked acro88 American media. Mod- ing ways, resulting in an eating disor or headed for a mental institution ... own need for help can either call or go ele will forever be the epitome of the der. One ofthem, bulimia nervosa, is the bone-thin, haunted look seems to the University of Michigan Counsel- ideal; that ie, they will always be characterized by' the binge-purge antitethical to ing Services at more youthful, thinner and prettier cycle; excessive eating then vomiting, health and well- 3100 Michigan than the average woman. But, in a using laxatives, diuretics and/or ex being." 'lhis is a Union #1349, the sense, models are also role models. treme amounts of exercise. Another small measure to P sy ch 0 10 g ic al Their perfection intrigues us and disease is anorexia nervosa, which is help abolish the Clinic located at many try to adapt. Hence, in pursuit se1Hmposed starvation A woman ob portrayal of the 1027 East Huron of this ideal we have become a society sessed by her weight may have vary waifish Kate #1688, or the Uni- that focuses entirely too much atten- ing characteristics from both diseases. Mosses. More is versity Health tion on body shape. Americans have All this is done to better fit into still needed. Services at 207 essentially become diet experts. No- society's constraints. Several de- Fletcher #1050. tice how many women are on a diet. An eating disorder consumes the partments within Also available are 'This is normal. But obsessing over mind and body and makes one feel an the U-M are de- support groups food can turn deadly. And it does. intense gratification with one's sense veloping pro- which meet peri- of control. As the disease progresses, grams in an at- odically; how- LiMl Wagner i8 a junior in political a body will begin to show detrimental tempt to curb the ever, support science and REES and tM photogro effects and outward signs of deterio eating disorders. groups are geared pMr of the Review. ration A list compiled by the Univer- Recently the more toward re- NCAA passed covering eating "Title 9" regard- disorder patients. ing gender equity Kate Mole: Silhouette These meetings issues in athletics. It seeks to develop are not a substitute for the professional programs specific to women's prob- medical and/or psychological treatment lems. Since eating disorders prima- required in most cases. rily affect females, this problem is An eating disorder is a "developed" Tired of the Government telling you what to do seen as a gender issue. Although the behavior perpetuated by society. For U-M has not designated a specific tunately for women, the devastating 'th uour mind, body, and property? program for female athletes with an effect:B of eating disorders have become eating disorder, those auspected of an issue worth dealing with in the eyes If so, join the having one are refened to outside of America. Ml College Libertarian League Billy Ocean: You don't write, you don't "'~·'·'·'l·,,\'~ Call Shawn ~ ,.. Wt· .. ~ il;,,J.~~'. call - we made you, dammit! Brown at Please call the Review at 662-1909. ------_._---_._------_ .... ._ ----"... _.,--_._.=,---- -, November 22. 1994 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 9 DEsSAY An Open Letter to Pattrice Maurer Dear Pattrice: sweat). I live with 19 other guys. and offers meals as well. I bet you can make a point to the AATU. I chose to guess how many bathrooms we have guess their quality. And how much do live in a residence hall for a number of AM A STUDENT AT THE to share? That's right: one. Sucks, I have to pay for that? Oh, an addi reasons, convenience being the most University ofMichiga.n and I am doesn't it? tional $2,000 for the eight-month pe important of them. My point has two I having some problems with my Moreover, the daily maintenance riod. And if I do not want this meal parts. First, students who choose to landlord. Or. should I say, landlords. my landlord promised the residents plan? Tough. IfI choose not to eat at live off-campus have their reasons, You see, in chooaing my C1ll"J:'eIlt place consists of nothing but a vacuuming my residence, I still pay for the meals. and know what they are getting them· of residence. I unwittingly stumbled of the irreversibly-etained floor and a So, Pattrice, can you see where selves into. What right do you, Patfrice on some IOrt of "landlord cartel" that h08ing-dOwn of the bathroom, usu my attempt at an ironic plot twist is Maurer, have to regulate how land engages in propaganda and intimida ally at the most inopportune times, getting, and who my "landlord" really lords lease their houses? Do you also tion to make sure it is they who pro such as when I need to shower in a is? But this letter is no joke. I am tell car dealers, bakers, and candle vide students with housing. Their hurry and get to class. And I am sincerely requesting your help in deal stick makers how to run their busi- apartments and rooms are piss-poor, lucky. I have one of the "better» of ing with this matter. Your organiza nesses? and once a lease has been. signed, it is these "cartel landlords." Can you tion claims to stand up for the masses That brings me to the second part almost impossible to break. as is the imagine what some of the others are of oppressed students against their of my point: how an organization as case with most housing in Ann Arbor. like? evil landlords. Well, I am oppressed ineffective as the AATU is getting At this point. I have no choice but to And now comes the best part. Can by the most evil of them all: the Uni beacoup buclu1 from the Michigan Stu request the assistance ofthe AATU to you guess how much I am paying for versity of Michigan. dent Assembly (read: unwitting, or help me resolve this most unfortu all of this? A buck and a quarter a Come on, Pattrice. Stand up for unwilling students). Your survival nate matter. month? I wish. An eight-month lease me. Didn't I mention that I am up depends on the University, so I'm Here's my situation. I live in a 19 - the only option available - costs a against an organization that engages pretty sure that you won't accept my foot by 11 foot closet ofa room. The whopping $3,5001 But what could I in propaganda and intimidation? 'Ihe challenge: help me "sue the un to get lighting is inadequate to the point of have done about it? 'Ihe cheaper and propaganda consists of phony, heart them to lower my board costs. Isn't being dangerous to my now-perfect better-quality housing was taken long felt pleas put out every year claiming that what you claim to do for other eyesight. I hear my neighbors' noisy before I had a chance to go apart that the residence hall staffs really residents, even non-students? Ifyou flirting every night through the pa ment-hunting. This overpriced car care for the residents. And ifthe man won't help me. stop pretending to help pe!4bin walls. In the winter, myen tel was all that was available. datory meal plan does not pass for others, and get off of this campusl tire building is OYelheated to the point The most insidious part of the ~timidation, I don't know what does. of suffocation, wasting valuable en deal is that the $3,500 is not all that My point here is not as much to Gene Kross ergy and water (used to wash off the I am being forced to pay. My landlord trash the dorms as much as it is. to..~.~~ o BOOK REVIEW Updike's Literary Eloquence BY DEAN BAKOPOULOS His use of adjectives and projection of takes a humorous but somber look at ration of the couple, with the plan- detail often border on the sublime. the eccentric changes of middle age. etary coJVunction of Man and Jupiter ANY CRITICS LOVE TO Take for example this opening pas The story involves two middle-aged that the husband views with his tele- speculate on which oftoday's sage ofWlldlife": ~e town was sexy, couples and. concludes with a poignant scope. M writers will be read by or so it had always seemed to Ferris. thought, one sentence that wraps up Relationships between humans, tomorrow's students and readers. He had lived there for years, and his the story tightly: "And Carter, too, particularly those who are growing Upon reading John Updike's eleventh former wife still lived there. It was a was surprised and amused that Frank older, walking hopelessly through collection of short stories, The After town by the sea, with marshes and a didn't know they were beyond all that middle age, is a key theme that Updike life, one speculates that he may be in broad beach; summer had been a fete now." Updike is now into his sixties, explores in these works. And Updike's the presence of one such writer. of sunburn and short skirts and cook and one cannot help but believe that experience and skill allow him to make outs and insect bites ... An air of siege many of his insights on aging that statements ofauthority on love, state- ThB Alter/He and Other persisted in the other seasons - fall riddle this book are personal observa- ments that are simple but :resound- pinching in with an eveI'-earli.er dark tions he has made along with his ingly true. In "'Ihe Journey to the Stories ness, winter when crooked slick road characters. Dead" Updike writes, "But Ameri- John Updike slid into one another with a dream Some ofthe thoughts his cbarac- cans are oversold on freedom, Knopf like slow motion. spring with its raw ters have are extremely melancholic, Fredericks thought, and availability 1994, 316 pgs. east wind and bouts offlu and consid like those in "Aperto, Chiuso" and does not equal attractiveness." Hardcover, erable human irritability." "Bluebeard in Ireland." These two sto- 'Ihls collection of twenty-two st0- $24.00 Updike's mastery is also evident ries take the reader into the minds of ries which includes the 1991 O. Henry in his original metaphors and similes. George and Vivian, two unhappily Award winner, "A Sandstone Farm- Updike's thick pl"08e is full of confi- He aills a row of"skeletal power Jines" married people whose emotional re- house," is a brilliant collection ofchar- dence and eloquence. giving it the a "band of angels," (from "'Ihe After- straint keeps them together. Here, acters grappling with universal quality that only a grizzled veteran of life") and in "Grand-parenting" he Updike does a good job of portraying themes. Though many ofthem are fBr fiction could provide. writes, "It was like living in a pop-up a marriage that is walking on egg past their youth, Updike's characters Updike dearly has taken the lea- book". When he is at his best, which shells. grapple With the universal elements sons of the masten, Faulkner and he is for many of these stories, figures 'Ihis distance between humans of love, failure, and death, concepts Hemingway, and developed a writing of speech like these make Updike's that Updike explores is brought out that transcend age in their poignancy. style that students offiction will ben- prose dance and sparkle. in "Conjunction," another tale of a For this :reason, The Afterlife should efit from studying. Few writers poe- Perhaps the strongest story in marriage on the wayside. Updike bril- appeal to short story lovers, 10ung setft.J;Tp:tilsetnllu~ci.d.wtiptlOll.· : :the'COlldonil;the~.1itJ.e.~ .wbitdl< ~ liantly paNllels'theemoaonal sepa- < • lUld old alike: MI.- ..•.• '•.••. ". ; ••. ' ,'< __._.'"".,.,.<." .... ~"'"', "'w<_.,,_'""._,,~__ •• _~,=,._,~, ______...... ______10 THE MICInGAN REVIEW November 22, 1994 o MUSIC Scarce and echobelly Really Groove BY DREW PETERB another Providence band called Mr. that directly meant anything, I get hooked up with Glenn to produce 1000. bored with that sort of thing. I looked music for the first time. "YEAH, 1 BUILT A LOG "We got together and played for more for sounds that encompassed a "1 had been writing poetry and cabin for Jimmy Buffet," eight hours or something" explains playing with words for wail, but he dismally admits. "I Joyce, "I learned about 10 songs I was initially pretty shy about needed the work." that day. Right away, I thought singing. I didn't have anyexperi Did you get to meet him? that 1 could really learn something ence doing it. But after I wrote "Get to? I did meet him, but he from him. I had always been the the songs with Glenn we were didn't really want to speak to the leader of the bands that I had been very excited about what we had help." in, I wrote and sang most of the done. It seemed like a waste to Fortunately, Chick Graning, gui songs. When I met Chick,I thought just leave it at that." tarist/ vocalist for Providence's Scarce, it would be great to be in the back They went on to collect the was not musically in- ground since I was really at a point other members and, soon after fluenced by his tem- Scuce where I had 'gone as far as I could that, they were a British suc porary job for country Red go in teaching myself. I really cess. The band's first two UK music's favorite dork.. Tumble Gear wanted to learn from someone who releases, BeUyaclu! and Insom Even better, was way better than me. I wanted niac, hit the top 10 and landed Scarce conjures up some of the most a situation that wouldn't be so easy, them on the covers ofboth Melody exquisite, twisted pop since the Pix one where I would have to work Maker and 1.0 . Morissey even ies. "I just say it's rods: and roll" Chick hard and Chick wanted a serious """-~_ made a surprise visit to Sonya simply explains. But it is a lot more commitment. 'Illree days later we and Glenn's apartment to give than that Scarce provides music that had our first show, and we've been them his praise. rebels against pretty pop songs and going ever since." Although Sonya only said glossy production, music that is as "We are lucky that Providence that the visit "was nice," it seems tangible and alive as your friends has such a good scene," Joyce con apparent that echobelly has a garage band. tinues, "although every band is strong admiration for Morissey "Almost all of the songs were first completely different, everyone is and the Smiths. takes, at least for the basic tracks. friends. We've got Small Factory, Sonya denies this with fa 'Th.en 1 throw down some quick guitar Velvet Crush, Six Finger miliar British pride. "I can't say tracks and the vocals. Although we Satellite... a lot ofgood bands. When Here', ScIrce: Extreme cIoee-upl .,...... that I have any major musical want more time (in the future), I like I was in Washington, D.C. it was the feeling. Anybody that is creative i-;; influences since I never grew up being the realness of it." exact opposite; although. there was a going to be hungry for something, and a pop fanatic. I never even went to When Chick was sweating away lot of cool music, it is all within a the word echobelly seems synonymous shows until I was a lot older. As a for Buffet, it was to make money for certain sound." with that. Speaking for echobelly the result I feel that I am more honest, Anastasia Screamed, his band at that And now Scarce has launched a band, we are hungry for creativity, -more personal in my music. There are time. tour in support of their Red EP, a achievement and satisfaction.'" certain things that need to be talked "Anastasia Screamed was a little collection of three 7'" singles previ They have all of this in abun- about, but I don't go out of my way to bit crazier and a lot more complex ously released in the US. From the dance with their first full-length make echobelly a political platform than Scarce. We put out two albums, stzained guitar and ultra-hooked cho American release Everyone's Got One. for me to voice my opinions. I think two EP's and a couple of singles, but rus of "All Sideways" to the more With Sonya's incredible, floating melo- that writing about groupies and par- we were getting no support from any melancholy "'Dozen," Scarce shows dies over good clean rock provided by tying.is sort of limited. It has been direction. Quite literally, we had noth their honestly sincere approach to ex-Curve guitarist Debbie Smith. gui- done so many times. It's interesting ing going on. Our aeamd record didn't rock and roll. tarist Glenn Johansson, bassist Alex to write songs that don't ram opinions even come out here. There really Keyser and drummer Andy down people's throats but offer them wasn't much of a reason to keep on Henderson (fonnerly in a band with subjects that they can sink. their teeth doing it." "GETTING Polly Harvey) the British press has into." So Chick went on to form Scarce the name echobelly jumped all over this Britpop band. Lyrically, musically, and vocally with Jud Ehrbar on the drums. In for a band Everyone's Stnmgelyenough, Sonya grew up echobelly makes inoffensive British punruit of a bassist, Chick finmd Jo~ is harder than any Got One fairly devoid of music. Born in Delhi, pop that even us stubborn Americans Raskin singing ~d playing bass for thing else," explains Girlie Action she and her family went to England would like. m Sonya Aurora 11-____---' when she was three years old, giving eehobelly and Scarce perform Drew Peters ia a roolly, reo.lly nice guy. Madan, the soft spoken vocalist for her a Cl'Oss-cu.lture experience until at Industry in Pontiac on Sun ReaUy. UK's echobelly. "I didn't want a word her college years. It only then that she day, November 27th. Disagree? Or are ..loin the Review! we simply out of The Review is always looking for ambitious, our minds? Write hard working individuals for business and the Review. edi torial staff positions. The Michigan Review 911 N. University, Suite One Call 662-1909 Ann Arbor, MI 48109 Or stop by the Michigan League, third floor, Suite One and talk to a staff member. November 22t 1994 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 11 DMuSIC Big AudJo - Big Fun BY MOHAN KRISHNAN duced one. Songs are held together by tion between ElviS' and himself, in thing." While many of the songs are sound bites and samples from other which Elvis wants to join his band. In maniacally happy, some are depress ICK JONES IS BACK, AND works, which are often related to the "Looking for a Song," he highlights ing and introspective, such as "Moon." he has changed the name of theme of the song. '!he first track, his own ideal song saying, "It's not as This is the sort of album that M his band once again. Big "Wake Up," begins with a dreamy must be listened to as a whole, be Audio, which describes itself as "anti rendition of Morgenstimmung cause it paints a picture of the odd -fascist, pro-creative," is simply the from the Peer Gynt Suite, while way this band thinks. Just like the next evolutionary step ofhis solo ca "Moon," which questions the music segues from song to song, the reer. meaning of space travel, begins ideas modulate smoothly between ex After leaving The Clash, Jones with the speech of astronauta. An tremes of mood. Further, the struc created Big Audio Dynamite, intended other song creates its beat and ture of the album seems to resemble to be a band where ..------, melody around a child singing an those diamante poems we used to musicians are ro- Big Audio oddly melodic, unintelligible song. write in middle school; the same fiun~ tatBd in and out from Higher Power The singing appears and disap ily of ideas slowly transfers between album to album. Columbia pears throughout the song, and two poles of meaning, starting out However, Jones and L..-___..--J the guitar and keyboards match it upbeat, becoming sad and introspec his original musicians went on to make penect1y. tive, and resolves with a song called several albums together. Then, Jones Where Higher Power shines is .· "Hope." made Big Audio Dynamite II, which its integration of techno-pop Every established group seems to produced only one album, The Globe. sounds with a guitarlbass/drums make just one album that has a total, It pushed forward Jones' strong point, foundation. '!he album is impos finished coherence, that is unknown the humor and wit ofbis lyrics. Now, sible to classify either as one or in rock music. .After that, they beoome we have Big Audio, and HiBher Power, the other and Big Audio manages ioonoclastic, dress like fools, and start the best sound ever to back M.ick Jones. to meld the two together to create listening to music from Seattle. Need 'llle rough, live sound ci TM Globe anew style. less to say, they never make another has been replaced by a clean, pro- Lyrics are still the strongest album like that one. 1ft MIck Janel: Get. better accent part of Big Audio, though. Jones m. Audio bringB their potent Mohan Krishnan rued to licl it old continues his tradition of quirky hu easy as it looks/coming up with all brand of Europop to 8t. Andrew'. achool with Big Audio when he was mor and self-deprecation. In "Har those hookslremember that it has to Hall in Detroit on Monday No vember 28th. just a wee lad. row Road," he describes a conversa- swing/it don't need no complicated--"" 18th Century Rock and Roll John Scofield Happily Frets BY GREG PARKER record company American BY GREG PARKER meshed with a string bass, juxtapose Gramaphone in 1975, the label be new and old styles of jazz. In fact, HIP DAVIS HAS DONE IT came known for its audiophile quality OHN SCOFIELD, MIKE reviewer Mike Zwerin compared again. Davis, since graduat recordings. From deep, synthesized Stem, and Pat Metheny are Scofield to a combination of John Cing from the U-M school of chords in Davis' compositions to the J perhaps the Coltrane and Jimi Hendrix. While music in 1969,.has sold over 10 mil thundering symphony in "The Great most influential fu- John Scofield Scofield never directly copies either, lion albums with his group, Mannheim Gate ciKiev," take this advice to heart: sion guitarists of the Hand live that description would probably paint Steamroller. Including his latest al listen to t;he album loud. 'Ibis master past decade. These Blue Note the best picture to someone that had bum, To RU88ia with Love, Davis' ful recording, produced at the Ameri guitarists set new never heard him before. MaJ:mbmn .-_____--, can Gramaphone headquarters, was frontiers for jazz fusion, and their Eddie Harris complements S team ~ CUp Davis/ partly recorded on location in Russia amazing talents will guide jazz into Scofield wonderfully. While this is a roller dis- Mannheim Stumroller with regional musicians. the next century. Never to be out- John Scofield solo album, Hams steals cography To Russia With Love "18th. century rpck and roll" comes done, and since a little fi.iendly com- enough of the show to make the pro- feat u res American Gramaphone from Davis' ability to petition never hurt any- duction much more interesting. In s e v en L-______combine classical ele one, each musician'slat- the 60s Hanis helped create the soul- Fresh Aire album" as well as two ments with modem est release seems to bet- jazz sound Scofield exhibits in Hand essential Christmas albums, all of techniques. Not to be ter the others. Testa- Jive. In recognition, Scofield wrote which are best described as "18th confused with cheezy ment to this is Scofield's "Do Like Eddie," where the guitarist's century rock and roll." elevator music or sim latest album, H and masterful playing pays ample hom- Davis, composer and drummer for ply "Mozart + drums," Jive, which puta him on age to Hanis' contribution to jazz. Mannheim Steamroller, wrote To Mannheim Steam the forefront of fusion. Scofield's other bandmates - per~ RU88ia with Low as broadcast music roller is much more. IfHand Jive had a cussionist Don Alias, drummer Bill and fanfare for the 1994 Goodwill Some might criticize theme, it would be Stewart, keyboardist Larry Goldings Games. 'The first track, "'The Goodwill Davis for using clas "soul" Along with tenor and bassist Dennis Irwin - do not Games," is a combination of Ameri sical themes in his saxophonist Eddie Har- disappoint. The added percussion di- can and Russian melodies Davis com~ compositions, or in ris, Scofield hits the versifies the album, and the afore- piled or composed other tunes that fit cluding Mannheim Chip om. went to HI groove of funk and mentioned Hammond style organ of the Russian theme as well. 'The out Steamroller's peIformances ofunal swing without losing traditional jazz's Goldings adds a intimate, bluesy flair come is essentially a Russian music tered classical pieces in their albums, improvisational concepts. While to the music. primer, with folk and classical music but Davis has no intentions ofripping Scofield's techniques are certainly From progressive tunes in 7/4 time from composers ranging from the artists off for his own gain. He simply modem, the album has a 60s flair. to funked SOld-jazz, Scofield has taken Steam.roller'a own Davis to Prokofieff, wishes to unite traditional and mod Hammond-style organs prevail in the lead in fusion guitar. Look out Pat Rachmaninoff and Mus80rpky. em style8 of music - apd he does it some tunes, and the guitar sound is Metheny and Mike Stem, the RtmiAld When Davis started independent quite well. Ml raw and bluesy; these instruments, era has begun. HI. . . ' . "' , ~ '.. . .:,; ~ :' : : ...... ' . . . .. " ...... '--.. .. :. .. ' -. . ~ .. ' ..... : . ' " • t" , ' .. ~ , \ V_' _ ' ~ ~ _ ' ''~''' _ '' _' ' _'. ''''''' '' ' ' ''' _'m_ . ,_ ..... ,..,."." .... _' '''',...... ~ ~,.._.y .~ "'~ ''' '' ' ~ ''' _ _ "...... , ~~, .. ' __ _ ._--..-••"' ~~ "' _ ~' _ ...... ~ _ _ ."_",,,.,,,, "",...... """' '''-.~~, _._~"m'~. ____.... __ ""_""'''''''''_'''''''' __ '''' __ '''' ______Competitive Computer Systems is your ChristmAs Computer ~olution ttt No gifts give the whole year 'round like the gifts of knowledge and productivity. 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