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Issue 919 - Weekly Friday 7th November 1997 40,000 hit the streets in protest

Surrey Students March-on in Southampton

Photo: Amy Price Surrey con- they have first tingent Andy Gale and hand experience marched Fiona Warner of the financial Phoo: Stuart Parker A through the streets of hardship fter a summer of being Abbott MP and Simon Hughes MP Southampton and attended a rally imposed by the Student Loan sys- stabbed in the back, stu- Stuart Parker and of the Liberal Democrats. where opposition MP’s spoke tem. dents across the country Jeff Blackham A Abbott spoke out against the gov- against the proposals and declared Cat Myers, a speaker from the turned round and confronted their erenment in which she serves and that they would fight the Bill at National Union of Students, told the attacker last Saturday. Forty-thou- passed wihtout incident. Although described how her own university every stage. A Labour MP who was Southampton rally that Saturday sand students in fourteen towns and the marchers were noisy, deter- education would not have been pos- due to speak pulled out minutes was not the end of the campaign, cities from across the UK showed mined to make their voices heard, sible without government funding. after the march had begun. but the start of a time-bomb for the the govenrnment the full force of they were generally good natured. Simon Hughes gave the most rous- Saturday shoppers in Southampton government. She said that students the opposition to the introduction of Tourists lined the route to watch the ing speech of the day. He urged the were astonished to witness the would not forget the hypocrisy of a tuition fees. sea of red and white placards flow crowd to continue the protest strength of emotion amongst stu- party which had relied on the stu- Five thousand people gathered in past. against the government’s proposals, dents as they chanted “Oi! Blair! dent vote, only to ignore their plight London’s Hyde Park for the route At the end of the hour long march and not allow it to rest with this Fees aren’t fair!” This was especial- now. along Park Lane, past Piccadilly the demonstrators gathered at the show of disapproval against the ly poignant, considering that those The overwhelming feeling amongst Circus to Trafalger Square. foot of Nelson’s Column to hear price being placed on a university students marching will not them- protesters was that the fight is not The large police presence was obvi- several speakers address the crowd. education. selves be affected by the fees. over. ous, but the well organised event Among these were Labour’s Dianne Unlike the present government, News 1 n Features 3 n Letters 4 n Music 6 n Entertainments Guide 7 . Cinema and Arts 8 n Union News 9 n Notices & Personals 9 n Sports 11 . ED971107Issue 919.qxd 07/05/98 15:07 Page 2 (1,1)

2 News Friday 7th November 1997 n Car Crime on French Drivers Campus Block Calais

hree cars Sarah Gyles Council car park, orts and motorways were Antonia Bayliss and ing the French Governments 5% blocked in France by lorry offer. The blockades seem unlike- parked in Deputy Editor the other side of Tania Rocks Tcar park 1 Yorkies Bridge on Pdrivers on Monday as part of ly to cause as much disruption as were broken into the same night. a national campaign. They have ing millions of pounds of lost rev- last year with many drivers getting overnight on Wednesday 29th Security were surprised about this barricaded many of the major roads enue to companies in this country through. Oasis, however, have October. One of the cars was hit especially as the University has to prevent other lorries getting to and abroad. Although they owe already had to cancel their 3 Paris owned by a Surrey student and the extensive video surveillance. their destinations, all due to a dis- compensation to British companies, gigs as their equipment was other two were not directly con- Overnight these cameras tend to pute over pay rises and working little has been paid. stopped at the barriers, and Phil nected with the University. A focus on the residences to ensure hours. This year the French Drivers are Collins has also cancelled his stereo appears to be the only thing the safety of the students. Whilst it The truckers disrupted roads last asking again for a pay rise, reject- shows. taken but the Police have been is hoped by security that this is a year over the same demands, caus- informed and are currently looking one-off it is still a worry for all the into the thefts. There appears to be people who use the university car Meningitis: Third Death at a link between this incident and a parks, particularly overnight. number of car break-ins in the New Weapon! Southampton third student has died from Antonia Bayliss and Meningitis: Look out for ollowing the In an attempt to meningitis at Southampton your mate Henry S. Katt University on Sunday, Tania Rocks effective combat these dan- A Knowing the signs of meningitis BF Pet resulting in a widespread vaccina- Fremoval of gerous weapons, is now offering the programme to can help you and your friends get tion programme covering as many hand guns, from our trading standards all other students and staff of the as four thousand people. help as soon as possible. The key ever more violent society, a new officers banned the sale of 14 out of University. The University’s Vice- The first death occurred on the 11th things to look out for are: weapon has appeared on the scene. 17 available pens, while the sale of Chancellor, Professor Newby said n October, and all who have died so Fever/Vomiting This weapon is striking fear into the the remaining 3 types will only that “the whole University is n far were first years. There have Drowsiness hearts of many god fearing citizens available to qualified operators. shocked.. Our main concerns now n been six identified cases of menin- Confusion as antisocial hooligans indiscrimi- Strangely enough, those qualified to are for our students and staff”. n gitis within Southampton A severe headache nately target unsuspecting victims. operate these weapons include lec- At present the only way to prevent n University. On the advice of the Stiff neck and/or back pains The name of this weapon that is so turers who have had no previous an outbreak here at Surrey is vigi- n local health authority, an antibiotics Dislike of bright lights feared? - the Laser Pen. firearms training. At the moment lance. Please look out for yourself n and immunisation programme, cur- A rash which will not disap Laser pens are being smuggled into these dangerous weapons can be left and the other people you live with. rently offered to all Southampton- pear when a cold glass is pressed sporting fixtures and used to distract lying around lecture rooms without Meningitis is an acute condition and based first-year undergrads at against it or temporality blind competitors. the need to store them in specially swift action has to be taken if a full Southampton and all those living in If you notice these symptons then The narrow beam of light emitted constructed pen cabinets. How long recovery is to be achieved. University halls of residence or see your doctor immediately, or from these pens is 100 times more before these dangerous weapons are Meningitis kills in a matter of hours. working in those halls, but due to call the 24hr helpline intense than looking directly at the involved in a tragedy of epic pro- on 01454 413344. Sun. portions? widespread concern the University ED971107Issue 919.qxd 07/05/98 15:08 Page 3 (1,1)

n Friday 7th November 1997 n Features 3 Third World First - Shared Planet Conference

hilst most students were Steel, director of Third World First. By James Fields and union workers from banana planta- manufactured in this country are enjoying hangovers from Climate Change, Hurting Planet and tions in Costa Rica. They portrayed used by the Indonesian security Wthe Lightning Seeds gig, People, mismanagement of the Benjamin Kopic a picture of exploitation, environ- forces to intimidate and kill civil- the Green Society woke early and funds by the mental neglect ians in East Timor and pro-democ- travelled 130 miles North to the Government and abuse of racy activists in Indonesia. You can University of Warwick. Together and large human rights by find out more about the East with 900 students from other uni- corporations. certain multina- Timorese problem from the Green versities around the UK, we got Did you tional corpora- Soc’s Website (http://www.ee.sur- together to explore the impact of the know that BP tions in Costa rey.ac.uk/Societies/greensoc/). Western World on Third World annually Rica. The Countries. spends £350 Green Society The weekend finished with a photo million on is launching documentary by Mark Edwards, UN The conference was organised by new oil this campaign Global 500 Award winning laureate Third World First, a major student exploration, here and we and a passionate talk on Sustainable movement in this country, and sup- which inci- would like your Businesses by John Vidal, The ported by Student Environmental dentally is help to collect Guardian’s Environment Editor. All Action, Green Student Network, the same as as many super- in all, we had great time mingling Greenpeace, Friends of the Earth, the cost of market receipts with the hippies, and would like to Oxfam, Christian Aid and New building the as possible in urge you to think about what impact Internationalist. Events ranged from solar power order to lobby we have on the people living in direct action workshops to a plant? the supermar- developing countries. Stay cool Greenpeace Solar Powered Rave; kets. So look people! from seminars to an ethical organi- Genetic out for your sations fair; from movies to veggie Engineering nearest collec- The Green Society is organising a munches (yuk/ yum - delete as and the Third tion point! trip to another conference, Burning appropriate ). World: the Planet, which is about Climate David King, Famine victims in an Ethiopian refugee camp, March 1984. Photo: Sebastiao Salgado Profit Before Change. Being held at Reading Highlights of the conference includ- ex-genetic engineer and editor of The Supermarket Campaign was Principle, a talk by Martin Gregory University on 14th to 16th ed: GenEthics News facilitated a semi- launched, organised by Christian (film producer/director of BBC’s November, the cost is £12 plus trav- nar and group discussion on the Aid and Third World First. This is World in Action and Channel 4’s el. If you are interested, please con- An introduction to Third World ethics of multinational companies aiming to lobby the supermarkets to Dispatches programmes) and tact the Green Soc via their pigeon First Activities by Ann Clwyd MP, genetically altering food and the adopt a more ethical policy regard- Arsenio Bano, was an account of hole or e-mail: (Chair of the Commons all-party effects this may have around the ing their suppliers. The launch was how Britain is arming the [email protected]. group on Human Rights), and Kevin globe. opened with a speech by two trade Indonesian dictatorship. Weapons ED971107Issue 919.qxd 07/05/98 15:08 Page 4 (1,1)

4 Letters/Editorial Friday 7th November 1997 n Editorial Letters

Louise which require your input, though Shooting at cars night, firing blobs of paint at pass- able, road users the consequences not necessarily in writing. Have ing cars. However, had this hap- could be far more serious. My only Woodward: you been ripped off by an employ- Dear Editor, pened to someone else it could have request to these people is: play your enough! er during your summer work? And distracted them from their driving war games in a damp field, don’t have you ever been attacked by a Driving home in the early hours of or frightened a lone driver. play with the traffic. nightclub bouncer? If so, this an icy Thursday morning my car On an icy night such as this the con- Regards, paper wants to hear about it. was fired at with paintballs as I left Congratulations - you are one of sequences of these distractions are Stuart Parker. the university grounds. I realise that potentially dangerous. Should these just 2000 people reading the ONLY this was a prank by a couple of newspaper to be published in the Tuition fees - juveniles move their sights to idiots with nothing better to do than motorcyclists or other, more vulner- UK this week which does not pro- fighting talk or hide in the bushes on a freezing cold claim the innocence of Louise Woodward, the Au Pair who was the last gasp? Where’s the crossword? pleting the ‘bare Facts’ crossword. tainment and challenging Friday last week convicted of murder in a However, despite desperately morning. U.S. court. Dear Editor, searching through last week’s edi- Yours faithfully, It’s difficult to tell whether the tion, there was no crossword to be Joseph Yeadon And your very own paper is not I write with disappointment in last Labour government will take any found. we had to resort to the previ- Final year Music and Sound going too far the other way, either. Friday’s ‘bare facts’. Myself and notice of the fees demonstrations ous Sunday Time crossword, kindly recording (Tonmeister) “String her up: it woz her wot two final year Tonmeister students that took place around the country donated by my Guildford Court done it” might have drawn some have, in recent weeks, developed a last weekend. Certainly student neighbour. fierce criticism, so you can enjoy regular social event. After a lobby groups seem keen to carry Please could you make the cross- these pages - they are a ‘courtroom demanding lecture on Friday morn- on fighting fees ‘to the bitter end’, word a weekly feature of ‘bare drama’ free-zone. ing, we visit my KUB, and drink a but another issue is becoming more facts’, in order to provide hard pot of Kenyan coffee while com- Wanted: Your important by the day. There is still working final years with an enter- no clear policy on how much of the stories money collected from fees will go What’s in a course. ly boosted our standings” perhaps logical techniques. Each has a part to Universities. Campaigners may the author might renew her socio- to play, perhaps next time the author feel passionately about the survival Dear Editor, logical studies with a shift in focus feels she has to verbalise a justifica- As a student paper, BareFacts takes of free education, but there is a real to The Frankfurt School theorists it tion of her subject she should intro- submissions from any student at danger that the murky question of In response to “What do dancers may alter her attitude somewhat. duce a little Durkheim (revise that the University. Two specific sto- how the money will be spent, do”, it is not surprising to learn that There are there are a lot of stereo- social theory!) into conversation. ries are presently being researched might be forgotten. they write essays, as most students typical perceptions of most subjects She shouldn’t really waste her time do have to at some point! Stating of the Human Faculty, (and of oth- bothering with people who are obvi- this fact does not strengthen her ers) but it always more prudent to ously enjoying winding her up. case to be accepted. As a sociologist ignore these views or to use them to Oh yes - and for the record not all (constantly writing essays) I was strengthen one’s resolve. There is Sociologists are Marxist feminists - amused by the fact that my subject no point in becoming insecure or but some of us do wear lycra... was used to legitimise “Dance and paranoid, which the letter did hint Sincerely Culture’s” status as an academic at. Every subject has its merit, a Goofman “Fan” subject. as strangely enough, we too Dance may be aesthetically enrich- have a dubious rating in the eyes of ing, sociology my mould policy the more “hard” scientific students decisions and science may produce of Surrey, but that letter inadvertent- improvements in medical or techno- What Your Union is Cuppa Tea? took a more responsible attitude the situation was such that the towards its sale. If you approach crowd were getting “over-enthusi- Dear Editor any of the bars in the union, you are astic” then why not turn the music Doing to Try and Make instantly barraged with wide choice off for five minutes? – everybody of alcoholic drinks, with little or no could then calm down. Why not I would like to echo the comments emphasis on soft drinks. There are intersperse chart music with some Things Better For of Karen Swales and James Buller many good quality low alcohol and light classics - say for ten minutes from the last few editions of “Bare no alcohol beers available, why in every hour. The volume of the Students Facts” about the excessive behav- does the Union not sell them as vig- music is also excessive, why do we iour on the dancefloor of some stu- orously as it does Fosters or need all these speakers? Would a l Considering live Jazz in dents at the Friday Night Out. I too Kronenbourg? Why is there no tea simple hi-fi not suffice? Chancellors believe that more often than not, the or coffee available during a disco? I would strongly suggest that Union l Planning this years Sabbatical Union is a dangerous place to be The bars, however, are not the sole management take heed of these elections during a disco or band. If action is culprits in my eyes. It would seem comments, and those of the previ- l Developing a societies hand- not taken soon, then someone could that all the DJ’s who play in the ous weeks - before somebody gets book get hurt badly during these events. I Union, are given a remit to make hurt. l Putting together a proposal to believe that most of this boisterous people jump about as much as pos- Name and Address Supplied. hold BUSA conference here next behaviour can be attributed to alco- sible - hence creating the problems summer hol, and that it is time the Union that we have. I would suggest that if l Helping the University improve launderette facilities Scar (Or Is It A Birth Cry?) l Revitalising the Course Rep system Now outlineless, Matters in Hand: l l Looking into the problems of but freedom wasn’t given Trying to get more market short term accomodation stalls in every day including a fruit l Trying to improve the vending to me for free. and veg stall machine services l Planning the Union Awards l Planning to refurbish the evening to be held on Saturday A scar, lizardy crevice Helyn Rose Bar Week 14 from when I had lungs in l my bony elbows, Organising the Christmas Ball As you can see there is a lot going and Charter Ball on to improve (and that’s not a com- hair-thin gills on my arms l Booking comedians plete list) as well as trying to pro- traced by Phoenix’s delusions, l Cushions on wooden benches vide the existing services. Your throat-deep, glittering disturbance l Finding funding for 2 new help is needed. Choose what you that echoes still... minubuses and a new PA system want to help get done, fill out a sug- l Reviewing the signing in poli- gestions slip with any ideas and tell cy us if you want to help - even if it’s Rafael Martin Calvo l Establishing a ticket sales pol- just for CV points (which are a icy bonus). Go on, you’ll have a laugh. ED971107Issue 919.qxd 07/05/98 15:08 Page 5 (1,1)

n Friday 7th November 1997 n Features /Features 5 Dr. Russ diagnoses your Student Council careers problems... given go ahead by students Dear Russ On the other hand, you may be considering a career which requires more specialised knowledge than your es remember the Student will only last an hour (ish) and you first degree provided. Masters courses are tailor-made Represntative Council con- can find out what the plans are for Do you think it’s worth doing a to meet these demands with virtually every subject from troversy, well it’s been sort- the rest of this semster and the sec- actuarial work to zoology covered in one course or Y postgraduate degree? ed out. What used to be known as ond semester. Remember that one another. the General Meeting of the person can represent only one activ- Students’ Union is now officially ity and to bring your friends or other Dear John It can’t be denied that having a postgraduate degree the Student Council. All Union members of the society or club. does improve your employment prospects. Only 4% of officers, course reps and a represen- You’ll never know what you might I’m going to throw the ball back into your court and ask UK postgrads were unemployed in 1996 compared to tative from each sports club and find out - there’s been some interets- ‘do you think it’s worth it?’ In other words, why has it 7% of undergraduates. Mind you it’s still possible to go Union society must attend. ing stuff going on in the Union late- come into your mind in the first place? For example, down a path which makes things worse for you. I shall Everyone else, who don’t hold any ly. Oh and lots more free stuff to you may be attracted by the prospect of remaining a stu- never forget a PhD entomologist I once interviewed of these positions, will also be wel- give away again including vouchers, dent. Or maybe you think it would give you a breath- who was totally dedicated to finding a job working with come as it meeting is for all students t-shirts and maybe even a free ing space before deciding what career to follow. butterflies. He’d already been looking for 18 months to come along and find out what’s SHAG. See you there. Perhaps you’re thinking it might improve your employ- when I first met him. Who knows, maybe he made it. going on in their Union, raise any ment prospects, or, that you ought to stay on simply But there’s a lesson to be learned there for anyone con- questions and suggest any ideas. Nevin ‘Bob’ Moledina because, after all, doesn’t everyone stay on who gets a sidering postgraduate study - think about where it might The meeting is to be held on good degree?! lead you. A lot of people drift into further degrees with- Thursday Week 10 at 6pm in LTD, it out a clue what’s at the end of it. That can be an expen- Only you can answer some of these questions. What I sive mistake if you have to finance it yourself. Remember: will try to do is to give you some idea of the implica- tions for your career if you take certain courses of My final bit of advice is this. Most directors of post- action. The first piece of advice I can give you is to graduate courses know how successful their previous The next Student Council meeting is at 6pm think about what career you’d like to follow and then students have been in obtaining employment. Why not work backwards. For some careers it’s helpful to have ask them for this information before you commit your- on Thursday 13th of November in Lecture a postgraduate qualification, for others it’s not. self. If they are reluctant to tell you, perhaps it’s Theatre D. because many of their former students are still jobhunt- For example, if you see yourself in a long term research ing. career, then a PhD is a tremendous asset since it con- News, Motions, Discussions and more..... firms your ability to carry out effective research. It also means you can compete more effectively with col- Russ Clark Everyone is welcome. leagues when promotion opportunities come up. Careers Service ED971107Issue 919.qxd 07/05/98 15:08 Page 6 (1,1)

6 Music Friday 7th November 1997 n

futuristic guitar group. The four tracks all feature buzzes and odd effects. Their style ALBUM OF THE WEEK SINGLES is similar to other straight guitar bands but ALBUMS THE CURE with a little extra, “oomph”! 8/10 A.T - Galore - SUPER FURRY ANIMALS - Demon THE VAN PELT - Sultans of The Singles (Creation) THEAUDIENCE - I Got The Sentiment (Gern Blandsten) 1987 - 1997 Forth song taken from the acclaimed Wherewithal (Elleffe) This CD is becoming one of my Janet Ellis’s daughter fronts this band, (Fiction) ‘Radiator’ album, this is a demonically favorite demos. Everything in this band A classic good pop romp, possibly provided to bright- where the Sundays meet The Beautiful South. Good songs and good arrangements, is amazing, the bass, guitars, voice, compilation en up the cold winter mornings. It is almost distortion, and most of all the lyrics. overshadowed by b-side ‘Carry The Can’ interesting and promising. 7/10 R.W. from this which is a gentle ode to something or other. There was something special about highly suc- They really are furry. 9/10 D.J. LUSCIOUS JACKSON - Under Your their music. It was simple in both tex- cessful band. Skin (Grand Royal) ture and structure, yet it was amazingly This collec- THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS - Oh An uninspiring piece of guitar driven pop. It vivid, creating images from their lyrics tion is a real Boy (Multiply) is quite unremarkable. Two of the remixes like no one I’d seen before. Most songs must for any- This is an awesome record. The memorable are not bad but the ‘Bentley Rhythm Ace follow a talkative format, which sample from Jonny L’s ‘Hurt You So’ Mix’ is a let down. 6/10 I.P. one who is makes this record an absolute must. All the reminds me of the divine Bob Dylan. I already a fan budding garage and drum’n’bass heads LAMBCHOP - Your Sucking Funny Day personally like ‘Nanzen Kills A Cat’, it of The Cure must have this record. Bubbly bass and bad (City Slang) has a warm and fuzzy acoustic beat. (as long as boy rhythms make up what will be an An brilliant single with the vibe to start a This album is an admirable, challeng- they haven’t anthem in the months to come. Don’t pass party anywhere. The group renown for it’s ing and most probably will be cliché- already bought all the singles on the CD of course) and the CD has loads to offer ‘Go’, don’t collect 200 pounds. Go straight laconic style has finally created a number free indie triumph! 9/10 D.A. that has the potential to bring them those people who aren’t fans. Prepare to be converted! As an extra treat, the CD also to your record shop. 9/10 M.B. contains the band’s latest single ‘Wrong Number’ which is probably not one of huge earnings others V/A - Total Science (Mecca) their best and sounds a bit weird the first couple of times that you hear it. It is SINGLE OF THE WEEK enjoy. The track is This is a tripped out drum’n’bass selec- catchy but not quite up to the standards of some of their classics such as ‘Friday both funky and jazzy tion by Darren Jay that tantilises the and is summed up by I’m In Love’ when they are put on the same CD. Overall, this compilation com- ears and plays with the mind. This is the line : “It’s so sim- mands some real respect. 9/10 G.T. ple yet so stupid one of the first albums of its type that I have heard that isn’t mixed in. This is but steady..” 6/10 mellow tune like the Butthole Surfer’s style. With tracks like ‘Oil 1’ and the C.H. no great downfall, though, as there are efforts, to cool jazz, to hectic dance ‘James Bond Theme’ which just shout some amazing tunes by Dr.S.Gachet, rhythms: Zed’s dead baby! This CD is WAY OUT WEST - Ellis Dee and E-Z Rollers, amongst at you, to tracks like ‘New Dawn Ajare stunning... boogie on everybody! 8/10 others. This is not your upfront dance Fades’ which whispers quietly to you. (Deconstruction) G.C. The thing about ‘ I Like To Score’, is A dance classic with your bollocks off drum’n’bass, but a tremendous journey through the intelli- ECHOBELLY - Lustra (Sony) that it is not the greatest soundtrack a night club flavour. hits, it is a Moby album nothing more, This commercial tune gent sounds of D&B. Filled with After doing great things (sic) at the makes use of vocals rolling bass-lines and warped samples height of the britpop craze Echobelly nothing less. Moby reckons that he which provide an alongside deep, twisting tracks, this is return with a more epic, thoughtful, doesn’t really go to see movies that upbeat, uplifting vibe certainly a must for all the album. ‘Lustra’ has more in common often, or listens to film music which to the saucy rhythms L.T.J.Bukem, Adam F or Roni Size with their debut album, ‘E.G.O’, than shows in this compilation. This album of the single. Sadly fans (all of which featured on the pre- the more pop, ‘On’. This is no bad should catch the tastes of all the dance like most dance tunes thing as songs like, ‘Bulldog Baby’, freaks, as well as some outsiders who the entire sequence is vious volume), as the intelligent sounds are now really beginning to make their are crying out to be indie anthems. just want something to mellow out to. predictable from the 7/10 K.M. uplifting intro to the mark on the scene. Those that prefer There is, unfortunately, a bit of an break beat sampling. the more upfront D & B should buy Oasis influence poking through on ALBUMS ROUND-UP some tracks. However, just as you However it makes this for the after club vibe, to chill to. LABRADFORD - Mi Media Naranja you want to boogie I’m not a great D & B fan, but this is think it’s all going a bit Noelrock (Blast First) on down and has all certainly a welcome addition to my tracks like, ‘The World Is Flat’, pull With this their fourth album, the trio from THE BEEKEEPERS - Killer Cure (Beggars Banquet) the makings of a club collection, and will be in my CD player you back into the world of Echobelly Virginia have once again broadened their hit song. 5/10 C.H. Yet another totally ace single from the Derby boys. Punky for a while to come yet. 8/10 M.B. indiepop. Echobelly’s third album sees horizons and varied their sound while at the pop with swoonsome harmonies over razor sharp guitars. 16 HORSE POWER the band experimenting with a broad same time maintaining their distinct identity. V/A - The Hits Hurt (Domino) ‘Mi Media Naranja’ (my other half) is the Quite simply brilliant. 9/10 R.W. - Coal Black Horses range of styles not usually associated (A&M) A cool mix of twisted bands ranging with them, making this both diverse most cinematic of their recordings to date.. BLACK STAR LINER - Rock Freak E.P. The band sure put out some weird stuff. from the blood rockin’ Sebadoh to the and enjoyable. 8/10 A.T. very soothing. 7/10 G.C. (WEA) This music gives you the feeling of being in soft-grunge Pastels that will definitely DJ Q - Face The Music (Fitter) The title track ‘Rock Freak’ is one of their the middle of a wilderness. The song with turn you autistic! This album has the RECOIL - Unsound Methods (Mute) Fusing mainstream dance with a little trance, best live tracks. It has a robot voice singing the references to ‘Hey’ would be very much most successful blend of crashpop, teen After leaving Depeche Mode due to DJ Q has produced a reasonable cross-over over one BSL’s hardest tracks. ‘Low BMW’ in with the Horses in the band’s name and freedom rock and ghost riders bake a unsatisfactory internal working condi- piece of work. Hip-hop rhythms and funky is a superb track with incredibly odd lyrics, title track if they were singing ‘Hay’. 5/10 tions, keyboardist/drummer Alan bass lines make the tunes on this suitable for pie rock ‘n’ roll that has ever graced a any serious clubbers collection. 7/10 G.C. it seems quite comical to me. ‘Inder G.T. hi-fi. ‘Psychic Driving’ by Flying Wilder has been able to devote all his Automatic’ sounds quite like Transglobal ELCKA - Rubbernecking (Island) DJ RON - Quintessence EP (Parousia) Saucer Attack is a mesmerising word- creative energies to ‘Unsound For a debut album, this isn’t bad. These new- Underground. 4 diverse tracks all great. Methods’ – the first fully fledged 9/10 I.P. Jungle.....so many types it kinda hard to cat- less blur. The pleasant surprise for me, comers are a group to watch; they have egorise this flavour. Most of the beats are are Pavement’s angular and twitchy Recoil LP. He pieced together nine received good reviews, especially from the FOIL - Reviver Gene (Thirteenth Hour) expected, reserved and in retrospect, dull. ‘Blue Hawaiian’. Smog’s ‘I was a haunting and sultry tracks that will take music magazines. ‘Supercharged’ is a bril- Foil, a Scottish band that can only be The Album has its moments though; listen Stranger’, his rhapsody about going you to the edge of unease, through liant opening track one the album. A group described as brutal, yet melodic. Taken out for ‘Zulu March’, a personal favourite. I into a strange town, is my favourite dark, dub infected landscapes, rever- to watch - they’ll be a big mainstream Indie from their debut album, ‘Spread It Around’, don’t see this artist topping the charts quite song and Silver Jews’ sparklingly syn- berating with shivering piano, seduc- group. 7/10 G.D. ‘Reviver Gene’ contains more than enough yet, his music isn’t a commercial swing. tive strings and a deep electronic pulse NIGEL BENN/ DJ RIDE - UK Speed drum and guitars to please even a hardened Something for the frustrated individual. thetic chamber-pop trifle ‘Black and Garage Vol 1 (Powerhouse) headbanger. If this single is anything to go 5/10 I.U. Brown Blues’. If you’re feeling that will surely make you sleep with It IS the boxer! This compilation isn’t what by, their album is a must buy. 9/10 E.C. anguished, raged, gloom, whatever, the lights on! Guest vocalist, Douglas I’d call representative of UK Speed Garage EARL BRUTUS - The S.A.S And The then this CD is for you. 8/10 G.C. McCarthy, the former Nitzer Ebb in general, but does contain some amazing PULP - Help The Aged (Island) Glam That Goes With It (Fruition) singer, opens the album with ‘Incubus’, mixes. If you haven’t bought a Speed Garage This is Pulp’s first single in a year and a Mildly amusing - yes. Added dance foray in V/A - Blow Up (Blow Up) whose mood was inspired by Francis album yet, look out for this one as there are half and a guaranteed number one, they did- the middle - yes. Inspiring and exciting - Everyone turned their nose up at this Ford Coppola’s film ‘Apocalypse some stunners on it. 6/10 M.B. n’t really have to try, fortunately they did no. Band capable of better - possibly. 4/10 CD in the Barefacts office – sorry Now’, and includes a few lines of dia- BLINK 182 - Dude Ranch (MCA/Cargo) and they have produced clearly a great D.J. folks, but you missed out on one hell This is an interesting album. The punk-like, song. All the familiar ingredients for clas- of an album here. Did you enjoy the logue from it. I dislike the rest of the SUPER 8 - Lately (Naked) tracks, myself but inclined to give Alan speed drumming, and “problem-teenager” sic Pulp are here, top tune, brilliant lyrics Pulp Fiction soundtrack? Yes? You will lyrics mesh together into a roller-coaster ride “no big deal, give us all a feel, funny how it A slow, moving tune that sounds like Ash, simply love this! Ranging from warm Wilder the benefit of the doubt. He has unlike Ash this sounds crap. 4/10 F.F. of an album. 6/10 M.B. all falls away”. Not many bands have the stood his LOUISE -Woman In Me (EMI) intelligence let alone the talent to use such VIOLET – Violet (Violet) USELESS TOSSERS OF THE WEEK ground, proudly A natural progression from Eternal....there’s far-out subject matter (OAPs) and turn it ¡Dios mio! It all seem like one big song run THE SHIRE- waving the tat- nothing really exciting in this new album. into a wonderful song. 9/10 N.W. together with no variation, or interesting HORSES - The tered flag of Her somewhat uplifting pop and semi-funky PERRY BLAKE - The Hunchback Of twists. It gets on my nerves. 4/10 D.A. Worst Album In electronic music grooves kinda get to work in the brain. Love San Francisco (Polydor) The World... through a songs and corny songs are the main ingredi- UNUN - I See Red (Deceptive) ents of this album. 6/10 I.U The cover of this single wasn’t very excit- A sort of mixture of Republica with Blondie Ever (EastWest) decade of hip- ing but the music on it is gorgeous in a hop and the V/A - TRAINSPOTTING 2 (EMI) from these Icelandic hopefuls. My mate A collection of This is a true follow-up to the soundtrack; it moody and dark kind of way. This is quali- thinks it’s quite funky but I think it sucks. tracks from the Seattle invasion. ty, I don’t want to turn it off! 8/10 G.T. includes some songs which were in the film 4/10 A.M. Shirehorses and 7/10 D.A. but not on the soundtrack, some which were their other incar- NORTHERN UPROAR - Goodbye DJ Q - Landing Soon On A Planet Near MOBY - I Like intended to be in the film and a few tracks (Heavenly) nations through dear to Irvine Welsh and the makers of the You (Go Beat) To Score A bit of a heartwrenching epic, complete A dark and moody but ultimately dull EP of the ages. They film, including ‘Choose Life’ by the PF with strings, brass, twangy guitars and har- must be really (Mute) Project, built around Renton’s speech in the Detroit style techno from Glaswegian Paul This combina- monies in the key of ahhhh. “Everything we Flynn. Fans of him will be pleased; most pissed off that so film. 6/10 T.V. tion of Moby’s had has gone ... so goodbye” sings Leon as people will be bored. 3/10 A.M. many lesser acts EMPEROR SLY - Sparking Up (Zip Dog) This gargantuan slab of dub techno is a he fills your bedroom with acquiescent (Kula Shaker, best film music, regret and melts you into autumn. ALABAMA 3 - The Speed Of The Sound rather disappointing way of bringing dance Placebo, Baby old and new, is Gorgeous. 8/10 H.B. Of Loneliness (Elemental) also a combina- music. If I hadn’t looked at the back cover of Most recently covered by Nanci Griffith, Bird, The this album, I might have thought that they DAWN OF THE REPLICANTS - Rhino Seahorses) have tion of his vari- ‘The Sound Of The Speed Of Loneliness’ is ous styles of were playing the same song over and over Rays E.P. (EastWest) given frighteningly grotchy makeover... it’s taken these trade- again. 5/10 D.A. music. “Start communicating with the radar in your not often covers get to be as good as the mark songs, com- SUGAR RAY - Floored (EastWest) room”, says Paul Vickers, lead singer of this original. 3/10 G.C. mercialised them Including his Arriving on a wave of hype, Sugar Ray are a early influences This weeks music bought to you by - Matthew Beal, Dean Arif, Emma Clarke, Gemma Decent, and gone on to the crossover between funk-metal and rap, and of acid house to Frank Fraulo, Alastair Mooney, Ian Purvey, Thomas Van Waes, Ikaraam Ullah, Nick Walsh, heights of fame while the Shirehorses have remained in a pub in they are not very good, at all. Only one song ‘Fly’ (featuring Super Cat) is any cop. 2/10 Georgina Tarrant, Honey Butcher, Gabriel-Oliver Chamero, Daniel Jones, Kevin Marston, Bolton. A work of genius... in their own minds. 9/10 R.W. his controver- Christian Hunter, Andrew Thomas, Rob Winder sial punk rock R.W. ED971107Issue 919.qxd 07/05/98 15:08 Page 7 (1,1)

n Friday 7th November 1997 n Entertainments Guide 7

GIG GUIDE

It is always advisable to confirm with the venue before travelling.

21:00 Red Dwarf Sunday - Thursday 21:30 Shooting Stars Alabama 3 - Reading Alleycat My Best Friends Wedding (12) (0118 956 1116) 22:00 Have I Got News 12:40, 15:20, 18:00, 20:40 For You Spawn (12) Scarfo, The Hybirds - London 12:55, 16:05, 20:50, 21:00 21:00 Friends Garage (0171 607 1818) Air Force One (15) 22:00 Frasier 13:55, 16:35, 17:05, 19:40, 20:20 7th 22:30 Rory Bremner Yo La Tengo - London LA2 (0171 The Full Monty (15)

Friday 18:00/23:25 TFI Friday 434 9592) 13:45, 16:10, 18:35, 21:00 Mrs Brown (PG) 15:00, 20:15 (NB no 15:00 show on Tuesday) 20:05 Casualty Austin Powers (15) 22:50 Match of the Day 13:00, 15:30, 18:00, 20:30 Asian Dub Foundation - Reading Conspiracy Theory (15) 22:00 FILM: Jaws Alleycat (0118 956 1116) 12:10, 17:25 Event Horizon (18) 18:40, 21:00 (NB no showings 21:00 FILM: Single White PICK The Jellys, The O, Wednesday) Female OF THE Novocaine - London

8th Romy & Michele’s High School 23:00 MTV Music Awards WEEK Garage (0171 607 1818) Reunion (12) 12:45 22:55 FILM: Natural Born

Saturday Men in Black (PG) Killers 15:40, 18:10, 20:40 Bean (PG) 19:55 Full Circle with AT YOUR No Santa - 12:15, 14:25 The Lost World Jurassic Park (PG) Michael Palin UNION Guildford University 13:00, 15:55 21:30 Have I Got News Gary Numan - London Shepherds Anna Karenina (12) For You (Repeat) Bush Empire (0171 287 1331) 13:15, 15:45, 16:15, 20:45 (Wednesday only)

9th 22:00 Jack Dee’s Sunday Slump Feat. Patrick Forge - Friday & Saturday Service Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116) My Best Friends Wedding (12)

Sunday 14:00, 16:35, 19:10, 21:45 22:30 FILM: Kalifornia Spawn (12) 13:10, 15:35, 16:00, 20:25, 22:50 23:30 Film 97 with Barry Air Force One (15) Norman 12:15, 15:15, 18:20, 19:15, 21:30, Rooster, Plasticene, Thawn - 22:20 The Full Monty (15) 21:30 Never Mind the Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116) 13:00, 15:30, 17:50, 20:15, 22:35 Buzzcocks Mrs Brown (PG) 22:00 I’m Alan Partridge UnUn - London Camden Barfly 15:30, 21:00 (0171 482 4808) Austin Powers (15) 21:00 The Sweeney 13:45, 16:15, 18:45, 21:15 10th 22:00 The Comedy Conspiracy Theory (15) 12:30, 18:00

Monday Network Event Horizon (18) 20:00, 22:30 22:45 Auntie: The Inside Romy & Michele’s High School Story of the BBC Bullyrag - Portsmouth Wedgewood Reunion (12) Rooms (01705 863911) 12:15 10:40 FILM: The Caffeine - London Camden Palace Men in Black (PG) Terminator (0171 387 0428) 14:30, 17:00, 19:30, 22:00 Jewel - London Shepherds Bush Bean (PG) Empire (0171 287 1331) 12:15, 14:25, 16:35 20:00 Deals on Wheels Jonathan Fire Eater - London Islington The Lost World Jurassic Park (PG)

11th 23:05 Eddie Izzard - Union Chapel (0171 226 3750) 14:10, 17:00 Unrepeatable Paul Carrack - Guildford Civic Hall Space Jam (U) Tuesday (01483 444555) 11:00 (Saturday only) Liar, Liar (12) 11:10 (Saturday only) 21:30 Absolutely Jungle 2 Jungle (PG) Bjork - London Shepherds Bush Fabulous 11:30 (Saturday only) Empire (0171 287 1331) Batman & Robin (PG) 11:15 (Saturday only) North and South - Guildford Civic 20:00 Police, Camera, Warriors of Virtue (PG) Hall (01483 444555) 11:30 (Saturday only) Action 21:00 FILM: In The Line

12th Ozric Tentacles - Reading of Fire Alleycat (0118 956 1116) Wednesday 22:00 Animal Hospital Bjork - London Shepherds Bush 21:00 Men Behaving Empire (0171 287 1331) Badly Jabba, The Parade, Waif - 22:00 They Think it’s all Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116) She’s The One Over Tura Satana, Bullyrag - London Lecture Theatre G Garage (0171 607 1818) Sunday 5pm & 8pm, Monday at 20:30 Top Gear Violet - Islington Red Eye 8pm 21:00 Third Rock From 13th Ween - London LA2 (0171 434 Il Postino the Sun 9592) (The Postman)

Thursday Wednesday 8pm ED971107Issue 919.qxd 07/05/98 15:08 Page 8 (1,1)

8 Cinema and Arts Friday 7th November 1997 n SPLATCH!! LA Confidential (18) TWISTER, GARAGELAND, FELINE,SCARFO - GUILDFORD CIVIC HALL FELINE the third song the crowd had lightened up or ‘There is a God!’ and bounced around to their tunes. The actual Kevin Spacey, Kim Basinger, who if he weren’t a policeman would music was a bit bland, Bruce Chapman be muscle for hire. These cops could kind of like 3 Colours Guy Pearce, Danny DeVito Red but happier. Next os Angeles - the City of Angels. not be further apart at the beginning of up were Garageland. The beginning of a new age in true, wholesome, the movie, yet by the end they are the downfall of the The 4 piece belted out urban bliss and all protected by the morally chal- corruption that runs rife throughout the LAPD. their own take on drone L lenged LAPD. The squeaky clean Dragnet image of the Everything about this film oozes class. The acting is rock. The hammering perfect. The unknowns amongst the cast mean that the guitar just went straight 1950s LAPD is quite literally torn to pieces by this mas- through you. The kids terful adaptation of James Ellroy’s 1990 novel. audience has no preconceptions and feelings change up the front stopped towards them as the film progresses. Spacey and platch; a sea of band T-shirts Where can I begin to explain the plot without either fill- jumping up and down, cocked their DeVito put on their best performances in years and with kids in them who will be ing the pages of this newspaper or giving the entire plot heads to one side and thought, “hmmm, back in school uniform by away? Such diverse strings of the plot (which include Bassinger positively smoulders whilst returning to her S interesting”. The third band on were Monday. Created by local hero Barney, absolute best. And director Curtis Hanson must have the powerfully dark female fronted organised crime, a violent robbery, a corrupt Police whose name gets chanted between the Feline. The crowd rocked out to the Department, and a pimp with his high class movie star Oscar bells ringing in his ears. bands. You feel like they’re there for pounding bass and distressed guitars. This is a great, if incredibly complicated film. Miss a him as much as for the music. The kids look alike call girls) are drawn together with the word The highlight came with Feline’s debut minute and you’ll be lost: a pen and paper would be love Barney, Barney loves the kids and ‘slick’ plastered all over them, through three cops single, ‘Just As You Are’, a thunderous they all love the bands. Splatch is just Kevin Spacey is Jack Vincennes, a celebrity cop who useful to note down all the twists in the plot and the three minutes with the lead singer’s asking for cynicism. Maybe if we just quite violent character assassinations. This is the best soaring vocals riding the chaos. profits from tip offs from the original tabloid journalist looked at what was on-stage, four good Andrew Thomas (Danny DeVito) whilst not advising for ‘Badge of film of its genre for quite some time and definitely up acts playing live, then the sneers may Honour’ - a “true” representation of 50’s policing. Guy there with the year’s best. Jerry Maguire and The lessen, because what the kids have The requirement of id for the bar English Patient should watch out as this film is really come to see are good musicians and ensured it never reached any sort of Pearce (Mike form Neighbours) plays the ambitious Ed they are going for it. Those who sneer capacity; in fact it was almost like a Exley, newly qualified officer who is willing to do any- gunning for their elected titles. Film of the year? A bold are probably the ones that fail to scrape quiet pint down the local. Surfacing, thing within the law to uphold the law, yet who by the claim, but possibly justified. Watch this film, then together any enthusiasm when bands however, from the bar to, well the first end of the film is as corrupt as the department who’s watch it again. It really is that good. play at our own union. The kids (and bars of Scarfo’s cacophonous but utter- 10/10 yes, the majority are still at school) go ly beautiful music put an end to that downfall he masterminds. Russel Crowe is Bud White wild and give the performers as good a idea, and showed Scarfo were not too gig as they get. Honey Butcher perturbed by their motorway accident The Complete Works of that led to all other dates being can- You can always tell when there is a celed. A wonderful soundtrack of indie slightly goth band on the bill. The favourites followed to play out the rest unsuspecting venue becomes a magnet of another highly successful for all fifteen year olds who are, like, Splatch/Geronimo event. Daniel Jones William Shakespeare really unhappy and show their angst by wearing Marilyn Manson T-shirts. In a sea of black T-shirts and silver nail varnish (abridged) - The Reduced Twister took the stage. Twister are the anti-goth! Twister are guitar pop! With loads of self confi- Shakespeare Company dence the band ploughed through their half hour set encouraging the Criterion Theatre, Picadilly Circus, London. crowd to pogo along. By SCARFO

hakespeare! Do you think that enjoyed having been to, or rather, THE DAMNED its all about a dead serious “to Mary Elizabeth Phillips having taken part in such a perfor- be or not to be?” Will you are mance.If you would like to live this UILDFORD IVIC ALL LL ALLOWS VE S G C H , A H E . wrong. The Reduced Shakespeare energy and the interaction between experience for yourself, you can do Damned are part of rock leg- Company has more than successful- the actors and the audience which, so any day from Wednesday to end, and as such were expected many times, made it seem like a to be self indulgent reminiscing ly managed to condense all of Saturday evenings at 8pm, or on crap. I was let down. There Shakespeare’s work into 97 minutes stand-up comedy show. The play- Thursday (3pm), Saturday (5pm) was a feeling of everyone in a unique way. writers, very successfully managed and Sunday (4pm) matinees. being in on the joke, with lots to transform Shakespeare’s work (Check times with the Theatre of interaction between the band The whole performance was made into a revue, often satirising current before travelling). If you would like and the crowd and the material issues as well as popular personali- was well received, with a sur- up by three fabulous - to say the to go but are broke, then I have two prising level of humour. They least actors, who effortlessly proved ties. tickets to give away to the first two gave a relaxed, but technically their multi-talented nature in count- people to Email me at tight performance, along side less roles. The distinctive elements I am not going to say anything more [email protected]. the expected altering of the other than that I have seldom monitors. They’ve had long of the show are the constant flow of enough to be good at this sort of thing and they looked quite at home on the stage. The OFU... OFU... OFU... OFU... tracks crashed through and gradually we forgot about the Ice Mummies and started to dance along (I was the blonde tart in the red dress). I even irstly, very sorry for the lack of a film on Sunday enjoyed myself. The set passed with much banter and the (5pm and 8pm). This was entirely our fault and we alloween and the streets of famed ‘Eloise’ to bring a smile to Fbeg your forgiveness - it won’t happen again. Guildford are safe fromall those faces that are beginning to wrin- Now, the next film WILL be on this Sunday and Monday. Hthings scary because most of kle after too many years of rocking. It’s ‘She’s the One’ with the delightful Cameron Diaz, and the hardest bikers are out of harms The encore was the icing sugar on the the gorgeous Jennifer Aniston. The film is a comedy and so way...and into mine. The Civic Hall nose; groupies on the stage, the played host to a motly medley of bik- defrocking of Mr. Sensible, the piss will be perfect to relax to, now that essays are due in and ers and rockers, a sea of leather and takes of everything wrong with the exams are soon. Tickets are £2, please reserve in advance, lard. ‘mummies and the streaker, who was or £5 for 4 films. Entrance by back doors. It started with lots of dry ice and green then molested by the groupies. A little lights, and “Mr. Sensible” the rector in piece of friendly anarchy to end the a Hammer horror style introducing the evening. Maybe the start of a Damned band. The hall filled with people and it revival? Jolly as Slade, gothy as the all became a little less intimidating. Sisters and as rocky as Rocket from The Damned appeared to a flourish of the Crypt, the record company would- organ pipes, led by a vegetarian n’t know where to start. Punk is dead, dressed as a cow and Mr. Fautus. The long live the Damned. Honey Butcher ED971107Issue 919.qxd 07/05/98 15:08 Page 9 (1,1)

n Friday 7th November 1997 n Classified 9 Personals

n Fog, I missed last week but I n Carino! Thanks for the wonder- n Glad to hear you found your Eh ? you mean Hong Kong Phoney ? enjoyed your costume on Friday; ful weekend Te quiero. keys Hurdle n Watch out lads, it’s a falling n Nothing but silence from the how I wish I could ghost into your n 88 popadom’s, 43 largers and a n ORANGE-BIRD-MAN ...... lightbulb off that wobbling lamp- spinster et al., what’s happened ? heart as you have into mine. coke. why do you “DO” underage post. Mullens n Chris Sturt been pulling any n Mr Happy - thanks for being women... what is wrong with n American blond requires adult n Definitely Malibu and Coke more 27 year olds??? wonderful and for making me so hooch-birds ???? nurse to massage feet and n “This week I ‘ave been mostly n Muy a mi pesar el limón no hizo happy over the last couple of weeks. n Andy, will you ever drink babysit.Yeah right!! eating that ginger girl!” nada. n Andy S., was your account at again? n American blond requires adult n “Colin Hunt’s office trolley.” n S/M/AK With Love FP the sex shop approved? n Ohh Paul Selwood, that fresher nurse to massage feet and n Gyro and Alex - Only light- n One bucket or two? n Mark H. U R a mummy!!!! you pulled was a babe!! babysit.Yeah right!! weights puke in the Union. n I’ll be there for yooouuu!! n He’s from Manchester, but he’s n Currey night tonight lads? n “Jose’s A-Z Of London: The n Beware of the KING COBRA! n Young horny mann seeks simi- in Singapore at the moment. Harpers 10pm 3 pounds on the door Stock Exchange is in Downing n Sam - Couldn’t you FLUSH! lar for fun, frolics + friendship. I’m n Beth - Where have those teens strippers at 10:30pm said P. Street” n Foggi, I saw you in the union on n desperate lonely soul so please gone? Sellwood n I hate barbie girl. Friday night. I saw your girlfriend contact me. email on ec61pm, love n Lee, Keri and Paola, One mes- n Mum, why were you so late n Il faut dormir les nuits TOUTE too. Love Sxx. Phil xxx sage for you all- HAVE GREAT home last night? And who was the SEULE ma petite!! n 103 Park B. Call Alan for good n Did you see the match last BIRTHDAYS Love Tamsxxx man in the taxi? n Congratulations to Simon Rose SEX!!! Saturday - Huddersfield actually n Jose, you wonka, didn’t you lis- n Trevor, haven’t seen your bike + Clive Hudson raising over £100 n Luke G. Thanks for Friday!!! won a match! Enjoy your washing! ten to anything we said? for a while! disappointment, for RaG. Liked the masks Boys!!! ‘Beer for no-questions’, that’s a new n Mr. Dreamy eyes.... you are a n Troublesome receptionists??? Burpham birds n Rich, where have you been the one! Good luck in your presenta- god...... [sigh] SMACH THE B***H UP!!!! n Emma, hope you saved me last 2 FNOs - see you this week? tion. n Matt Barrow. Now you can be n Pending the next catastrophe or some vodka - SH n H. “Love Me To Death” n Thumb shaped hats for sale, see a judge! crisis n Dan Bryant: Lost anything Did the band directions have too Andy Smith for details. n So Helen, which Bloke are you n Mr. B. How’s the dagger wield- whilst pissed recently!! Love from high a FOG index? n KIT-KAT, Have a great day on going to bring back this week? ing bird? The Florins. n 32 year-old single mum seeks Thursday. n Thanks to everyone who came n To Phil, live in fear my friend. I n “I bet Pamela Anderson’s seen Tesco toyboy for taxi frolicks. n Splish splash, we were taking a on Tuesday Jose. will get my revenge. Lots of Love a lot of Spume in her time.” Apply to checkout 7 bath. Sarah, how’s the Union steps + Susie. n MH, when are you marrying n Fraggle how’s the M1? n Suz, wanna do dinner at my Cliffy? n E.B. Like the Horns! Flash, her? n Twyford E 96/97: Where is place? n RK, Indigo Lots Of Variable Flash, they go!! n H. “Love me to death” and be everybody? n Haggis swam at a huge media Energy Yellow Olives n flor del campo, la presentation my little vampire. N n WARREN...introduce us to moment!!!! Underground, AR. bien, no? n Jamie, Mini-Discs just aren’t Mr.Dreamy eyes....(if U don’t know n House 61 - Where is the n loody northerner, sweety dar- n Silver Rubber Bands that GOOD! who Mr.D is, read bare facts more Sweetcorn? ling, called your mobile! bloody n Forget Mr. Bombastic ... it’s Mr. n Snakes and Birds don’t go often) n So, how many days use of you foreigner Sarcastic!! But we love him really! together. n Barney why have you got a car did you have before hitting the n “Aren’t blokes that wear puffa n Teresa + Ben Happy 22nd birth- n That’s Mike’s pint, please take green stain in your bed? telegraph pole? jackets in Bo’s w*nkers!!” day. Have a wicked weekend love it. Fraggle, you don’t have a clue: you n To everyone who submits per- n “Mr Jelly baby, dump her now Ann, Jo + Jo. xxx n D’ya know what they call a FELL! Nik. sonals on the Web or email. Stop she am a twot.” n Well, by golly, she did it! ... she quarter pounder with Cheese in n Ohhh Cup of teat please!! I’m sending them twice or I’ll delete n “Kate at Bo’s:no, no, grabbed a spoon! (And then started France ? So hungry!!!! said Paul S them all. - signed the miserable bug- no...... no...NO!” stirring!!) n Slobber bob new bird on the job n Hong Kong Phooey ?, surely ger who lays up this page! Notices

Bare Facts Editorial Board Meetings 6pm Logan, Rhodri or Verite on ext 4788/7 every Monday in the Office in Union House Fencing Club EGM 25th November 20:15 MetSoc AGM 21AB20 1pm 12th November TB23 ‘97 Cricket Club AGM 16th November 7:30pm Jiu Jitsu AGM is Sunday 9th November, 8pm. Campusport Centre. Meet in Campusport Studio. Trampoline Club GM, Wednesday week11 The Volunteer Reading Service is looking for 7:30pm @SportsHall. Everyone please attend. recruitments. Can all coaches please bring their certificates. Get FREE RNIB training Get a new skill Amnesty International AGM 20th November Help yourself revise 7:30pm TB 12B Help the RNIB Challenge Blindness All we ask of you is a few hours reading each Sci Fi & Anime GM Sunday 9th Novemmber week to help the Blind 2:30pm LTA, contact ch61hm for more details. student’s at the University. We will be holding a Training Day in November, Judo AGM 12th November 3:45 (after train- if you are interested please contact Philippa ing) Dance Studio Campusport. Kerin, Special Needs Officer on Extension 9261. Netgamer AGM Wed 12th November 7:30pm LTB Serious Actors, musicians and Dancers required for Shakespearean style play original- Boat (Rowing) Club AGM 12th November ly set in 18th century Italy. If interested contact 5:30pm Grant Mitchell Room. ED971107Issue 919.qxd 07/05/98 15:08 Page 10 (1,1)

10 Sports and Features Friday 7th November 1997 n Board-X The Flashing Blades of the Snowboarding University

Festival ‘97 he Swashbuckling fencing Jeremy Parker capacity with over 160 entries. club start the Semester with Debs entered the women’s epee. It Tan almighty swish of the school asked if they could fence our was my first epée competition and I he only Sarah Gyles and street fashions. blade. University club, in order to give the was thrown right into the deep end, Our first match of the season was a fencing England’s number one National Public Deputy Editor Expected are 15 top youngsters (aged 13 - 17) more TSnowboarding international riders good opportunity to stretch the experience. Our club fielded a team ranked fencer in my first pool of 6 Exhibition, Board-X will take place from Europe and the States along muscles. Our victory of 24 - 3 of mixed ability including our three fencers, loosing 5-3. I made my way between 14th - 16th November in with Britain’s top talents. With against Thames Valley University scholars; Debs, Gwen and Kate. through to the second round and the British Genius Site, Battersea snow boarding comps and live men’s team was quite literally a The afternoon was most pleasant was beaten by the number 6 seed. Park, London. This ultimate urban demos happening throughout the thrashing... ouch!! and we were invited for tea after- Jon did extremely well in his pool snowboard experience endorsed by festival it looks like being the only Captained by Jon, we performed wards where we sat at wooden and went through to the last 64 the ISF takes up a 3 acre site with place to be if snowboarding’s your well in all three disciplines apart tables and ate sandwiches with the where his eventual defeat of 15 - 11 exhibition hall and 40m real snow thang. from a little hic-up in Anthony’s crusts removed. Highly respectable! gave him a final standing of 48. quarter pipe. All the UK distribu- Daily tickets for the whole show are epee who lost two fights against a The week was not over for Jon, The fencing club is going from tors and companies will be there £7 on the gate and £5 pre-booked. beginner who was holding his Debs and I. We battled our way up strength to strength. We have just along with the main UK retailers To pre-book tickets, phone the cred- weapon upside down! Adam made to Leicester on Sunday in the thick ordered new equipment this with all the latest technical goods it card hot line on 0171 490 4707 his debut in Sabre and I fenced my fog and we found ourselves in a sit- Semester, which includes many new favorite weapons (foil & epée), try- uation where the mobile phone masks, weapons and jackets. Come ing not to scratch my new maraging came in very useful. However, the along on a Tuesday evening (6:00 - foil. 12 minute call, directing us in was 7:30) with out coach or on a The following day, several mem- not really the perfect financial start Wednesday (7:30 - 9:20) in the Crossword No. 55 bers of the club went off to “Charter to the morning! main sports hall. House”; a jolly lovely private Jon and I entered the men’s epée school, close to Godalming. The competition which was at full Chess Team Tamed Again

or once the chess team had to. 0-1. while the centre was closed. Yes this the opportunity to be over- Next down was Lucky Luke (the is as complicated as it sounds and he Fdogs in a match. This was man who moves quicker than his misplayed it at the critical time, again Camberley’s B-team that own shadow) against T. Morrison, allowing the centre to open, and commonly is of a not too impressive 110. He got well out of the opening suddenly his opponent was all over standard. This time they however but just slowly and steadily lost con- him. Should have been won but decided to pitch a team on which the trol of the position and eventually eventually wasn’t 1-3. weakest player was stronger than he had to give it up. We must And finally Dan (against W. their normally strongest player, so assume his opponent was just better Somerset, 150) decided to play the the match was suddenly difficult. than him. 0-2. opening called “Here’s my king, Philip was the first to finish against Reza was the next to finish even come and mate it” which his oppo- his opponent (R. Welford, 130) by though his game was probably the nent duly attempted. Whether it be demonstrating his complete lack of first to be decided. We shall grant by force majeur or just by luck, he knowledge of the Scandinavian his opponent anonymity and just managed to survive it and in time defence and he was punched off the mention that Reza, obviously dissat- trouble his trouble his opponent board in a matter of minutes. you isfied with (only) third board decid- blundered, and we got the point! generally can tell, when all of your ed to not just defeat but first humil- so the final result was 2-3 adding pieces are on the back row except iate his opponent. never any doubt the list of defeats, but we shall Across 13. Pardoned (8) your king which is on the middle of about the result. 1-2. return! the board, that things aren’t going Dominic (against A Aslett, 147) had 1. Small Restaurant (6) 15. Small type of falcon (7) precisely the way you wanted them an open flank file on the queenside 4. Barrage balloons (6) 16. Implanted by nature (6) 9. Husks of corn (5) 17. Against (6) 10. Pistol-case (7) 19. Spokes (5) 11. Feeling solitary (8) 21. Leg joint (4) 12. Explosive weapon (4) Solution to Number 54: 14. One’s personal creation Across: 1. putt 3. chip-shot (9) 8. numb 9. inflicts 11. here- 18. An informer (4) abouts 14. potato 15. scribe 20. Bestowal of gifts (8) 17. activating 20. identity 21. 22. Kind of number (7) mutt 22. deluding 23. neon 23. A cause of infection (5) Down: 1. punch-ups 2. 24. rackets (6) temerity 4. hansom 5. politi- 25. Small hills (6) cian 6. hick 7. Tass 10. mas- Down ticated 12. ridicule 13. 1. To warp (6) heighten 16. kitten 18. hind 2. Trustworthy (7) 19. cell 3. declining to accept (8) Crossword compiled by Jeff 5. An interval of calm (4) Blackham 6. The underground (5) 7. Cleans by hard rubbing (6) 8. In a fanciful way (11) ED971107Issue 919.qxd 07/05/98 15:08 Page 11 (1,1)

n Friday 7th November 1997 n Sports 11 Dickie’s Column Women’s Rugby 41 - he ugly spectre of crap refer- would have won the game even ees reared its head again on though the try was disallowed but TWednesday as the University the referee had recorded the wrong Reading Uni 10 1st XV were quite literally robbed score in his little book (13-8, not of the points and the game againts a the correct 13-11 as admitted by feeble side from Brighton. The last their captain at the end of the Hooray for Women’s Rugby few minutes were frenetic but our game.) scrum-half dived over in the corner It is not like me to moan about ref- t was a last minute match so to er 4 tries interspersed by some Reading scored 2 tries with no con- for a perfect try. The crowd went erees- what goes around comes speak due to BUSA mixing us superb play by the whole team. Irja versions. They were good fun in the wild; the referee awarded the try; around, but when they can’t even Iup with SUSSEX University, an converted 3 of the tries much to her bar afterwards as were the sexy asked an incomprehensible ques- count it does make you wonder. obvious mix-up!! delight and everyone else’s amuse- Reading men’s rugby club !! tion to our own linesman who On a brighter note Arsenal were Due to the Men’s Football club ment at her high pitched Norwegian Another big well done for Beth who answered “Yes”. The ref changed beaten 3-0 by Derby. hahhahhaha- being so slow at getting on the bus, screams. We all now must call her nearly scored her first try for us, his mind and awarded them a 22 ha. we ended up getting changed on the Irja-svirius-pirjus !!! only to be stopped centimetres from drop out. Unbelievable. What was A final plea of the year for some bus, this seems to be a regular There was a bit of head-butting of the line, you’ll get it next time. worse is that we had a kickable sports articles - please. Reading occurrence. Irja flashed the ball by Emma and Lumpy - We all had an excellent day, and a opportunity for a penalty which her boobs to an unsuspecting male surely in time you will find out what barely remembered night although driver behind the bus, much to his those hand things are !! it would be nice to see more of you Ready to go on the delight !! Well done to Reanne who scored 2 out. The match was started in the way tries to make it a total of 7 tries. Hooray for women’s rugby, hooray that we had meant to carry on - This was Reannes virgin game for for beer, hooray for being unstop- Miriam scored her first try under the us, for which she should have pable, hooray for Piste ? posts in the first 2 minutes. Feisty incurred a severe fine in the bar - winning...... HOORAY!!!! Fiona didn’t convert it, but al least however she did not turn up. The Lots of love from chair-shit. or some the most of the big she made up for it in other areas - offence has been recorded for future autumn Jeanette Mercer companies will be namely screaming constantly !! reference so beware !! Excellent Fmonths there. For impartial Mim then proceeded to score anoth- play. bring fantasies of artistic carving advice, visit the Ski Club of Great through pristine white powder - for Britain stand - student membership others of us, fond memories of only £10. U.S.F.C. II 1 - 3 Portsmouth careering gracelessly down a blue Features of this year’s show include run and winding up on our backside a snowsports spectacular (which is too many times. Whatever your bound to feature lots of aerial acro- ability, skier, boarder or complete batics - inside the Olympia exhibi- urrey kicked off on a sunny Thingswent from bad to worse as Portsmouth striker and the away beginner, you can get an early taste tion hall), snowboarding and fash- winters day, aiming to prove Alan ‘Sven’ Hart went down after a team went a further goal ahead, of the impending ski season at the ion displays and a toboggan run Sthat their BUSA record of suspiciouslooking challenge and slotting the ball into an empty net. 1997 Daily Mail Ski and which the organisers say will “intro- played 2 lost 2 was merely down to was forced to come off. This may have crushed lesser teams Snowboard Show at Olympia, duce a new dimension to public par- bad luck and bad refereeing,rather Portsmouth’s domination wasnow but the seconds rallied and after London, from October 31 to ticipation” ! ! than bad players. beginning to tell and it was no sur- good play down the right Flower November 9. Opening times are For those of you who might be inter- Things started brightly with Gareth prise when they found the net aftera made amends by finishing in great from 1200 to 2130 weekdays and ested in working in the industry one ‘Flower’ Buddgoing through one- goal mouth scramble mid-way style with his gonads to make it a 1000 to 1900 at weekends. Tickets day, the show is a must. You’re not on-one but a bad bounce defeated through the first half, the surprise close finish. Despite a late surge cost £6 weekdays, and £9 week- likely to be offered a job there, but the normally quickfooted centre wasthat the ‘referee’ ignored the Surrey were denied and the opposi- ends. talk to the people on the stands, pick forward and he was unable to get a fact the Portsmouth player finished tion had the cheek to flatter them- More than 120 exhibitors will be up the handouts and you’ll have a shot in. As the firsthalf wore on, from onthe goal line and gave a bla- selves by adding a late third. So offering advice and promoting their ready supply of background materi- however, Portsmouth began to take tantly off side goal. Despite once again the seconds were products and holidays. There are al for future interviews (more about control and the normallyassured ‘Nursey’ Baileygoing close late on unlucky and would surely have got usually good deals on clothing & working in the holiday industry midfield partnership of Lee ‘see it in the first half & Flower missing a result had it not been down to des- equipment - watch out for the sale later.) off’ Turner and Easy ‘Tiger’Miriam the target with anopen goal Surrey perately bad luck.DANNY racks, often last year’s stock, but Lastly - don’t forget to enter all the found it hard to get to grips with the went in at the break one down. BRYANT. you’d have to be a serious fashion competitions, one lucky student innovative Portsmouth tacticof Shortly into the second half Dan junkie for it to matter! Look out for found himself the owner of a luxury putting a player in Midfield who ‘lurch’ Taylor was dispossessed Show special offers on holidays, ski chalet ! could actually head the ball. when trying to round the CAMPUSPORT CAMPUSDANCE NEW DRY-SKI COURSE (4 weeks) Last campusdance begins on Monday 17th November 6.30 - 7.30 p.m. at the Guildford Ski School, Larch Avenue. Sign up at the Sports Centre as soon as possible as places are limited. £15.00. performance FRIDAY EVENING STEP AEROBICS ext weeks’ performance on have links with the university. One has been a sell-out. So if anything - don’t forget the new 5 week course at 5.30 p.m. beginning on Friday 7th the campusdance pro- of the pieces being performed by I’ve said hasn’t yet convinced you, November at the Sports Centre. Sorry this is not a drop in class, you must gramme will be the last one Amanda Banks and Nathaniel Reed this, surely, proves you are missing register and it’s £5 to Campusport/Sports & Classes card holders. N before Christmas. This is absolutely has been commissioned by the cam- out. It’s also offered collaborations your last chance to drag yourself pusdance and Carol Brown current- between choreographers, visual MIND & BODY FITNESS WORK- down to PATS and be inspired ly is a lecturer in Contemporary artists, and composers from a veri- (you’ll never need to see the BBC’s dance and Choreography on the ety of backgrounds and to suit all SHOP annual Christmas offering of ‘The university’s dance degree pro- tastes. Could you really ask for any- Saturday 15th November 9.45 a.m. - 4.00 p.m. at the Sports Centre. Nutcracker’ in the same way again, gramme. And finally for those of thing more? it seems such a waste A one day workshop designed to teach the techniques for developing a in fact you might even stay awake - you who enjoy a challenge, person- not to take advantage of this wealth healthier mind and body. Dietry and physical training principles linked to well there’s always hope!) al experience allows me to safely of creative talent on your doorstep. synergistic approaches for strengthening and recharging the mind. The To use my catch phrase - the perfor- say, that carol Brown’s work is The performance is at 8pm on the workshop will include a special session on understanding and dealing with mance has something for everyone. some of the most exciting and inno- 12th November in PATS. For tickets stress and a complete, clear and informed approach to whole body fitness. For those skin flints amongst us it’s vative around, not only leaving you call the box office on (01483) This is the first course of its kind and is offered to University of Surrey stu- the campusdance equivalent of on a total kinestic high but chal- 259905 dents at the greatly subsidised rate of £5.00. Tesco value as they are offering two lenging you to rethink everything Philippa Newis YOUR MIND AND BODY OPERATE TOGETHER - IT’S TIME TO companies for the price of one (silly you though about dance, life and TRAIN THEM TOGETHER! night - eat your heart out!). For the the cosmos. Please sign up at the Sports Centre by Friday 14th November. homebodies both the companies Sop far, the campusdance season ED971107Issue 919.qxd 07/05/98 15:08 Page 12 (1,1)

12 Sports Friday 7th November 1997 n Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us, Now!

Woking Postal FC 2 University of Surrey B 3 he morning after Halloween presence of 5 players ball with everyone work- Despite a late conciliation goal for started with about as much from the C team relieving Super Stiff Quincy Cliff. ing for each other. Cakey Woking, when Cliffy’s ageing legs Tterror as the night itself ever the friday afternoon selec- two Surrey goals, from Cakey and and Mad Alex were just could’nt muster up that leg- offered, as I awoke in the Club tion crisis, Surrey took early control Si Roche, were inexplicably ruled strong at Centre half, whilst Jim endary pace to reach the strikers Captain’s bed with green hair and an of the game. Steve ‘Pussy’ Catt and out as the referees game went to Robinson took all manner of violent ankles, Surrey B took this top of the extremely stiff neck!! The horror Todd ‘Constitution’ Hill began pieces! Postal briefly stirred them- abuse at left back, with a smile! The table clash in their stride, to go four continued when I arrived at Senate superbly in the centre of the mid- selves before half-time to equalise referee made one bad decision after points clear with a game in hand! Steps to find that our loveable fix- field holding the back four and the but we were confident at the break. another as one of their strikers The news, that all but one of ture secretary had organised every- strike force together in perfect har- After a shady first 10 minutes of the (Dinosaur is a good description!) Saturday’s teams were victorious, thing except directions to the mony. Si ‘Simple’ Roche and Andy second half, where communication repeatedly fouled, kicked and even put morale at an all time high and game!! Only a small omission but ‘Roadrunner’ Shanks skinned the became just a word in BT adverts, nutted members of the Surrey XI! was saluted with a chorus of ‘New important, I feel!!! oppo repeatedly and chances began the Surrey back four settled itself Just as it couldn’t get any worse he York’ in the showers back at fortress With a vague idea of our destination to come. Both Rochey and Golden and allowed the midfield the free- gave a penalty against Jimbo for Varsity. the minibus finally arrived at the Boy Meads came close as Pussy dom to take control again! A mag- probably the best challenge he made Team of the Day was duly awarded remote woodland location (Cheers dominated the midfield. Then came nificent through ball from all day! Justice was done, however, despite equally heroic displays from Ducky Mallard!) after only enough a perfect move. Cakey delivered the Constitution put Shanksy’s speedy when the aforementioned dinosaur all the Surrey boys, leaving only one wrong turns to make it interesting! ball of his life over the top of their frame free on the right, a pin-point lifted the ball high and wide, much thing left to say! When Surrey finally took to the left back, which let Shanksy cross cross found Amigo Paulo steaming to the undisguised pleasure of the ‘WE ARE TOP O’THE LEAGUE, I pitch, amidst the boo’s of the home for Meads to nod in at the far post! through onto a bullet header. 2-1. boys in yellow and blue! SAID WE ARE TOP O’THE sides resident bunch of sideline 1-0! Cakey was more shocked than The next 20 minutes of the game Surrey spirits were higher than ever LEAGUE!’ Gorillas, the nerves of the Captain anybody else, I can assure you! saw Surrey play some quality foot- and when Meadsy scored again to finally began to settle! Despite the More chances followed and indeed put us 3-1 up the game was ours! Reading 1st XI 1-0 Surrey 1st XI

BUSA (29th October ’97)

t is not only fantasy football that to accept that the first team had lost Tom Stoddart impressive BUSA debut, and could ly balanced manner with each side requires a suspension of disbe- a match in which they dominated well become a regular in the team. having their chance. Ilief; reality can also be hard to for long periods. this has been char- work, good individual and team per- he showed good vision, ran well, It was not five minutes from time take. On Wednesday it was difficult acteristic of the season so far. Hard formances have as a result of lapses and most importantly always want- that Reading scored their goal. A in concentration and our ability to ed the ball. the centre of the park foul 15 yards outside the Surrey box put the ball in the back of the net was well marshalled by James (act- caused outrage amongst our players. resulted in a frustrating start to the ing captain due to absence of the While arguing with the referee season. injured Scouser), and John (I wear Reading took the free kick, playing From the kick off we dominated the nice orange shorts) Fagan did not it out to the right wing. The Reading first twenty - impenetrable at the look out of his depth holding the player cut inside, and hit a low drive back, and creative in attack. Frank front defence. at the near post. Stef, like the other was a tower of strength at the back, Despite this initial possession we players not anticipating the quick and is showing signs of giving us were unable to capitalise and kick, was unable to hold the ball. the kind of consistency and commit- Reading began to become more On the whole it was a reasonable ment needed from all the players. involved with the game. The some- performance, in which we were very the combination of Matt (I got what excited referee seemed to be lucky to lose. it should perhaps be booked again!) Flanagan, Dave and under the distinct impression that noted that at the last count there Frank as the three central defenders football was a non-contact sport - were eight recognised first team seemed to work well. At the oppo- which did not help the flow of the players injured - three of them left site end of the park Sam had an game. the game continued in a fair- backs! ....The Results.....The Results....The Results.....Resul

Sporty Thang The Enemy Us Them Sporty Thang The Enemy Us Them FOOTBALL M1 READING 1 O HOCKEY W1 SUSSEX 1 6 FOOTBALL M2 PORTSMOUTH 3 1 HOCKEY W2 KINGSTON 4 0 FOOTBALL M3 SOUTHANMPTON 6 2 NETBALL 1 PORSTMOUTH 24 22 FOOTBALL M4 CHICHESTER 2 0 NETBALL 2 PORTSMOUTH 11 25 FOOTBALL W1 KINGSTON 2 3 RUGBY M1 BRIGHTON 11 13 BADMINTON M1 BUC 0 9 RUGBY M2 BRIGHTON 5 15 BADMINTON M2 NO GAME RUGBY W1 READING 41 10 BADMINTON W1 NO GAME SQUASH M1 SOUTHAMPTON INST. 4 1 BASKETBALL SOUTHBANK 77 61 SQUASH M2 SOUTHAMPTON 0 5 FENCING SOUTHAMPTON INST. 7 20 SQUASH W NO GAME GOLF WESTMINSTER WIN 0 VOLLEYBALL M KINGSTON 3 1 HOCKEY M1 BOURNEMOUTH Loose 0 VOLLEYBALL W PORTSMOUTH DIDN’T PLAY HOCKEY M2 SOUTHAMPTON INST. 15 TENNIS M ST.MARY’S 0 6 TENNIS W NO GAME JUST TO SAY THIS ALMOST DIDN’T GET DONE COZ CAZZA GOT PISSED WITH THE FOOTY BLOKES IN CAHNCELLORS! HURRAH FOR SPORTY TYPES!!!!!