Issue 949 - Weekly Thursday 19th November 1998 Tuition Fees TheGuardian and NUS: Campaign Didn’t organise a Moves to Parliament piss-up in a brewery

he Guardian / NUS London”. Student Media Awards Tare the highlight of the The following academic year for all involved morning, back at in producing student media, the Media be it newspapers, magazines, Conference, NUS radio or television. President Andrew Pakes released a Last Saturday saw the 20th statement from Anniversary event, part of the the NUS which Student Media Conference, claimed that The take place at the Truman Guardian were Breweries building in East responsible for the London. Unfortunately around arrangements for Union Officers campaigning at Westminster 200 of the conference dele- the awards cere- n Thursday 12th November, students from gates were unable to get into mony and that it across the country converged on the awards ceremony due to was The Guardian OWestminster to take the Student Rights the ceremony taking place in a who had refused Charter to the Government. After the successful venue that could not cater for entry to confer- Day of Action held in the Unions on 30th October, the required number of peo- ence delegates, Some of the entries for the media awards with Pluto winning the coveted ple. who have in the campaign was taken to MPs in the Houses of Newspaper of the Year Award - full list of winners on page 2. Parliament. It was also a chance for Union officials previous years to gather more information about why the battle is As the situation developed the attended the the problem, but look forward workshops presented by so important to all students. door staff allowed a few peo- ceremony. to ensuring a positive future industry professionals on a ple to fill up the back of the for The Guardian / NUS wide range of subjects includ- At 12 noon over 40 unions filled in comedy size venue. However according to Andrew Pakes then answered Media Awards. An NUS ing; editing, music journalism, cheques representing the amount tuition fees have some of those who did gain questions from the somewhat spokesperson held firm and investigative journalism, cost their students. A press stunt then took place on entry it was obvious that the angry and disappointed dele- confirmed the earlier NUS design and advertising. ‘College Green’ outside Westminster, with both room was not designed to take gates. However he appeared statement. NUS have written Sunday morning saw further local and national press covering the event. Later the numbers who had been arrogant and was evasive in to the Editor of the Guardian talks from Andrew Collins, NUS President Andrew Pakes handed the Student admitted and was an unsuit- his responses to the question- and are willing to give them a former editor of Q magazine, Rights Charter to 10 Downing Street. The charter able venue for a large and ing, qualities which will sure- chance to explain. However and Gary Younge, an inves- has already been signed thousands of times by those prestigious awards ceremony. ly serve him well should he NUS reaffirm that the mix up tigative journalist from The involved in the University system. wish to follow a career in pol- was the fault of the Guardian Guardian. The NUS made alternative, itics. and that they hold the proof. From 2:30 onwards Union officials converged but hardly satisfactory, The Conference will not be inside the Grand Committee Room in Westminster arrangements for the unfortu- In response to the NUS state- The Student Media remembered for the excellent to listen to speakers from NATFHE, AUT , the nate delegates at Queen Mary ment The Guardian state that Conference itself was a great speakers and informative Conservative Party and the Liberal Democratic and Westfield Students Union. they had not expected all dele- success. Saturday morning workshops, but only for the Party. This was followed by a mass lobby of However, some delegates gates to be attending the cere- started with talks from Chris miscommunication between Parliament, where each University lobbied it’s own were unable to get in there mony and that they “deeply Ward-Johnson, a former The Guardian and NUS which MP about student hardship. either and two delegates were regret the disappointment and tabloid hack now working at resulted in the vast majority of beaten up near the awards discomfort which resulted”. The Times, and Andrew the student media not being These events were just the latest in a campaign venue, which one delegate They are saddened that the Gowers, the editor of the admitted to the Student Media against tuition fees that NUS is determined to see described as being in “one of NUS was not prepared to Financial Times. The remain- Awards. through to the end, and we can expect more action the least nice areas of accept any responsibility for der of the day was filed with like this in the future. Gareth Harmer News 2 n Societies 3 n Reviews 4 n Feature 5 n Music 6 Ents 8 n Welfare & Advice 10 n Letters11 n Personals and Notices 12 n Surrey Pride 13 2 News Thursday 19th November 1998 n

Congratulations to all the award winners News in Brief by James Buller Student Media Awards 1998 The Student Radio Awards 1998 Strong Army Of Model Of The Year this Student Photographer of the Year - Matthew Fearn, Pluto, Best Entertainment Feature- Anthony Cooke, University The Law vs Year week. 8 Regional finalists University of Central Lancashire Radio Nottingham took part in the competition, run by Woman magazine and Student Website of the Year - Edinburgh Student Newspaper On-Air Branding - Ali Rezakhani / Alex Thomson, 2000 size 16-24 clothes retailers Student Publication Designer of the Year - Richard Turley & University Radio Falmer, University of Sussex As the new milenium creeps closer so does the possibility Rogers+Rogers. The event James Turrell, Shout, Liverpool John Moore University Best Dance Show - Two Faced Collective, Kick FM (now of apocolyptic technology was held at the Fashion Student Newspaper of the Year - Pluto, University of Fly FM), Nottingham Trent University failure on 31 December Café. However there was no Central Lancashire Station Marketing: Amanda Dodson, Demon FM, 1999. The milenium bug is sign of the venues owners, Student Magazine of the Year- Mustard Magazine, DeMontford University threatening to crash comput- Naomi Campbell, Kate Moss University of East Anglia Best Factual Programme - James Merrit, FCT FM, ers all over the world at turn and Claudia Schiffer. Student Feature Writer of the Year - Katherine Crockett, Farnborough College of Technology of the century. The problem Concrete, University of East Anglia. Best Male Presenter: Toby One, University Radio is that no one knows how Turned ON Student Reporter of the Year - Helen Briggs, Scan, NottinghamBest Female Presenter: Lorna Hethrington, serious the effects could be. ON Digital ws turned on by Lancaster University University Radio Nottingham, University of Nottingham Fearful of chaos and perhaps Ulrika Johnson last The Guardian Impact Award - Heather Tomlinson & Bill Best Student Station: Storm FM, Manchester. civil unrest in the aftermath Sunday.Amidst a blaze of Staples, Roar, Kings College London of the worst case scenario, publicity the new 30 channel the army and police are service, which can be Walnut Tree Close working on contingency received by your existing plans. aerial via a special box was or the past two weeks, asking for comment. I gave General Manager, Dean of inside, denying that the launched. Surrey students have the opinion that I didn’t Students, John Hoborough vehicle vandalism was the The military could give air been making front believe this kind of vandal- and myself met with Walnut work of students. This let- support and other assistance ON’s rivals, Sky Digitals F to civilian agencies accord- page headlines in the local ism would be the work of Tree Close residents, ter states that the dismissed the new compa- ing to a senior police offi- nies claim of covering 70% newspaper, the Surrey students, and that the Union including the Chairperson University, “are prepared to cer.The army could help Advertiser. On Friday offers a free minibus service of their Residents’ make a severe example of of Britain with their ser- move police from “hot spot vice.The ON system which November 6th, the headline into town on busy student Association, who was quot- any student who is proved to hot spot” if need arises is simple to install was “Drunken Students accused nights to reduce the number ed in the article. Prior to the to be bringing the according to high level talks described as “plug and prey” of Damage” appeared in the of people using Walnut Tree meeting, security staff had University into disrepute”, between police chiefs and by a Sky spokesman. paper. The article which Close as a route into town. checked through the securi- and they mean it. Residents army officials. followed accused students The bias of the reporting ty video which over-looks complained of noise, bad Just getting a system is diffi- of causing serious criminal meant that, in effect, false Yorkie’s bridge, to establish language, and minor dam- The Government played cult enough however. damage to a number of cars accusations were printed whether large groups of stu- age. This kind of behaviour down the suggestion of crisis Suppliers cannot meet parked in the bays outside must stop. We are fortunate meetings, saying that there is demand for the set top boxes a regular liaison between the Jewson, past Yorkie’s at Surrey that campus is so and many customers are hav- military and police to discuss bridge. The vandalism close to our local town and ing to wait to join the digital cooperating during future revolution included smashed wind- it is good that students are times of need. A spokes- screens and pouring paint eager to sample life outside woman said that procedures over one particular car. University walls. However, were already well estab- Stuck In Traffic? Local residents from we must all bear in mind lished to cope with a nation- Sue!A Japanese court has Walnut Tree Close rang up that we are part of a com- al emergency. “There are no ordered the organisers of the the Surrey Ad., claiming munity and the residents of special plans” she added 1997 winter Olympics to pay damages to a distraught that groups of 50-60 stu- Walnut Tree Close and sports fan. dents carrying pint glasses other surrounding streets No More Cosmetic had been seen in the area on are our neighbours. I Animal Tests The Nagano Olympic the evening in question, understand that you want to The last few UK companies Committee was sued for the Monday 2nd November. go into town, but please go which had been testing cos- measly sum of $28.88 to the Residents were quoted as quietly and be respectful of metics on animals have spectator. The court upheld directly accusing Surrey and the unfavourable head- people who may be trying given up their licenses. the plaintiff’s complained students for the vandalism, line created unnecessary to enjoy a peaceful evening. Home Office Minister that he has suffered “mental as part of a series of inci- tension amongst the dents had been recorded Please also use the free George Howarth said that anguish” as a result of miss- dents caused by students. University and the Union. leaving or returning to cam- minibuses the Union pro- since no new licenses will be ing a ski jumping event due The University correspon- pus at the time of the van- vides on Monday and issued, this move seems an to a Nagona traffic jam. dent for the Surrey Ad rang To resolve the situation, dalism. The tapes showed Wednesday evenings. They effective ban on such experi- He had been travelling in a me on Tuesday morning, Dennis Frost - Union no large groups, no pint are there so you can get to ments. He added that it meant the Government had bus laid on for the occasion glasses and no disturbances. and from town safely, com- met another of it’s election and was refunded the cost of The meeting began a little fortably and without caus- pledges. the bus ticket at the time, tense, but we managed to ing any disturbance to local The sum awarded this time convince residents that stu- residents. While the ban was warmly however will reimburse the dents were not to blame in welcomed by campaigners man for his train ticket this instance and that no- The video camera is now such as Anita Rudock of the home. one within the University or permanently focused on Body Shop it will affect less the Union wants to be at Yorkie’s Bridge and any that 0.1% of Britains 2.7 mil- Pool Theft “As a student at the odds with our neighbours. misbehaviour will be lion laboratory animals. University, you may have Residents agreed that false severely dealt with by the heard about a theft of money Arts Editor Daniel Jones accusations are not helpful University. Regular meet- Make up companies have ([email protected]) now agreed not to test their from a pool table cash box to anyone and that the bias ings with Walnut Tree Close lipsticks etc or their ingredi- last Sunday, November 8th. of the Surrey Ad article was Residents are being set up Nick Walsh ents on guinea pigs, rats and Sometime between 9am and ([email protected]) unfair. and liaison will be much mice. However the animal 10.30pm, someone smashed improved in the future. experiments carried out in the cash box attached to a There followed extensive Your academic career is at the name of medical science pool table in the Stag Hill and at times heated discus- stake - staff are not happy will continue. The end may lounge and stole about £100 sion on how to combat the with the level of complaints be in sight for these trials too and caused about £30 more general problems and there really is no excuse though. As technology pounds worth of damage.” caused by students using for bad behaviour. Be safe, improves the possibility of Walnut Tree Close as a be quiet and be mindful of growing human skin and “While they did this, they route into town. The follow- our neighbours. You’ve organs become ever more real. Tests could then be cut themselves quite badly, ing Friday’s edition of the been warned, and it’s not done on these tissue samples so you may have seen some- Surrey Ad. showed a front much to ask. rather than live animals. one the following day wear- page headline “Residents ing a bandage on their hand say sorry to students” and a Harriet Sims or wrist.” If you know any- furious letter from the President A Perfect 16? thing, you can contact PC University Secretary and “Well proportioned” ladies Paul Woodfield in complete Registrar was printed battled for the title of 16+ confidence on n Thursday 19th November 1998 Societies 3

Looking for adventure? With Fudge it won’t budge!!! here do you want or your winter in a ski resort isn’t always easy, overall to work? in Canada, and by joining financial gain is usual mini- WSouthampton or BUNAC (British mal, but the rewards you Hairtec San Francisco? New Universities North America reap in return are unbeat- Malden or New Orleans? Club) this year, you can able. And what do you want to do start planning where you 24 Madrid Road this weekend? Watch the want to be for the millenni- If you’ve ever thought about footie in the pouring rain in um celebration! I thought doing something just a little Southsea, or go body surf- this was an unrealistic possi- bit different, and want to ing on the beach in Sydney, bility for me too, but with live a little before you sit at Australia? And how will the help and support of that desk job for the next you spend your summer hol- BUNAC I spent an unfor- forty years, then come and iday next year? A week on gettable industrial place- see what BUNAC has to the piss in ‘Shagaluf’, only ment year scuba diving, offer you. Once you’ve to return penniless, hun- windsurfing and partying started your career, it’s very gover and very confused (and working a little bit) in unlikely that you will be about what/who you did in the Florida Keys. able to take a year (or even your drunken stupor? Or three months) out to do maybe you could spend an BUNAC offers 14 exactly what YOU want. So unforgettable four months, work/travel programs in a let your selfish independent meeting and working with variety of countries, includ- streak take control for a people from all over the ing USA and Canada, while and find out what’s world in idyllic surround- Ghana, Jamaica, Australia, waiting out in the big wide ings, before jumping into a South Africa and New world for you to discover. sports convertible which Zealand. As well as the Are you tempted yet…..? If someone has asked you to benefit of meeting loads of you want to find out how drive from New York to LA. other British like-minded you can widen your hori- travellers, your eyes will be zons, visit the BUNAC stall THIS DOES NOT HAVE opened to the cultures, in the Student’s Union TO BE JUST A FARAWAY social lives and friends of foyer/ or lecture theatre con- DREAM! Thousands of hundreds of people from course in the next few students in the same posi- your host country. Lots of weeks, and look out for tion as you have done this, money and exotic holidays posters for more details. (01483)440414 and with some careful will leave you with a good Alternatively, email me on , money management and a suntan and a few photos, call extension 4877, or put a bit of hard work, it is an but nothing can compete note in my SU pigeonhole. Reduced Prices for Students option for you to consider with the richness of experi- too. Spend your summer in ence you get when you are Felicia Lewis a sports camp in America , living that dream. The work Tuesday’s - Fridays inclusive PGA ould I just say a huge And it’s easy to get frustrated should be fun! We challenge Cath Soc Ballroom Dancing thankyou to last with the number of apparent- other societies (and the Cyear’s Postgraduate ly irrelevant meetings you Union) to make “getting The University Of Society Association (PGA) commit- are expected to attend. involved” less boring. tee, and good luck to our Surrey Catholic recently elected new com- That’s why the PGA is Our regular Wates House Society e are a fun socia- some complete stranger) mittee. slashing its number of for- Postgrad Social Night ble society that and we’re actually quite a mal meetings from 41 last (codename: WHoP) will ass is held twice Wmeets every week friendly bunch too. If you Often it seems that when the year, to 0 this year. Instead, start after Christmas. If you every Sunday. in the University Hall. are interested, come along Union or a society says “why any issues will be discussed have got any ideas about The morning Despite the scandalous (we won’t tell anyone!) M image broadcast by “Come every Wednesday at 7:30. not get involved?”, what informally at our new social what it should be like then Mass takes place in the they really mean is “why not night... and if we do ever we want to know! We will Lady Chapel at the back of Dancing” we are not all come to lots of meetings?”. need a “formal” meeting, be meeting for a drink in the Cathedral at 11.15am pasty faced old codgers that We also have plans to By becoming a committee then we will just slip aside Wates House on Thursday’s and an extra evening Mass prance around in sequins organise a FORMAL ball member of a society, you can to a quiet corner for ten min- from 6pm, so come and chat is at 6.30pm in the Quiet and DJs. and go on trips to places like find yourself drawn further utes. to us, and... dare I say it?... Centre on campus. Leicester Square to try and further away from the “get involved” ! For an easy way to pull, it’s swing, or to a salsa night. activity Getting involved in the PGA We also have regular events great (you can’t fail when you joined the society for. won’t be a chore - in fact, it Andy Gale PGA President taking place ranging from you’re pressed up against So try it! You might like it... talks by visiting speakers to MACS: Maths and Computing Society bowling trips and days out with other groups. fter our AGM last yourself?. We, at MACS, week I am delighted will only be to happy to help For more information check If you would like to find out Ato say MACS is you advertise it. out our brand new website: more about what CathSoc back. MACS aims to pro- MACS will also embrace does, or just more informa- vide social events for Maths the existing interdepartmen- http://www.ee.surrey.ac.uk/ tion on the Masses then and Computing students. tal sports and the course rep Societies/MACS/ please contact our Chaplain We are starting with a trip to system. Alex Glaser Fr. Seán Finnegan on the Ram on Thursday 19th (01483) 571091 or via the November. We want to pro- Chaplains office. You can vide a forum so that all also contact James on Maths + C&IT students can extension 4877 (email: meet and socialise together. mu61jg).

If anyone has any sugges- The CathSoc web page is tions for future events then http://www.surrey.ac.uk/Un e-mail either myself, Alex, ion/Societies/cathsoc on ma81ag or Liz, our social officer, on ma71ef. Or, how about organising something 4 Reviews Thursday 19th November 1998 n Antz - Review Ronin hat can you fit in a large brief- Voices by Woody Allen, Gene The worker ants start to realise case? 16 cans of baked beans. Hackman, Sharon Stone that they are being oppressed A whippet, with breathing and stage an uprising. The W space. Half a dead body (or a whole one f ever there was an animat- Marxist ideology underlying minced). Whatever you can squeeze in ed film that could be taken this film hopefully will give there’s one suitcase that everyone wants to Ias a metaphor for real-life people ideas and also a bit of get their hands on. Whatever the cost... then this is it. Brought to us by realisation as to what is going Steven Spielberg’s on, and what has been going A group of hired professionals meet in a Dreamworks company, this on throughout history. There Parisian cafe down a quiet backstreet. computer-generated produc- are funny yet subtle parts to Brought together by Deirdre (Natascha tion is stunning to view and the film such as double-irony McElhone, The Truman Show), the has an intelligent story to tell. shown in one scene of the film, spokesperson for a mysterious employer, This works on a number of dif- where the ‘stoner’ ants are their mission (should they choose to accept ferent levels, whether you’re a pondering over the meaning of it) is to track down and capture said brief- child or a University student. life. The ‘Stoners’ say ‘maybe case. we are all a small part of The story revolves around an something much larger’. This Sam (Robert De Niro), Vincent (Jean Yes, there is a crash in a tunnel in Paris. ant named Z ( voice by Woody old cliche is amusingly told Reno), Gregor (the great Stellan Like the Ronin (masterless Samurai forced Yes, there are explosions, intrigues and no Allen). Z is a worker ant, whilst ‘stoned’. At the end of Skarsgard) and Spence(Sean Bean) head to roam the world in search of paid labour) soppy kissing. Frankenheimer is the guy bored of the oppressive soldier the film you realise its true, up a team of crack operatives who soon they owe loyalty to no-one. All that counts who made the unsurpassable “The ants and bored of his job. He and even though it’s a comput- find themselves dodging bullets and dri- is getting the job done. So when Seamus Manchurian Candidate”, what do you begins to question his own er generated film a parallel ving at breakneck speed down the winding (Jonathon Pryce) appears, the psychologi- expect? So strap yourself in for a roller- existence and seeks to find becomes apparent, linked to streets of Paris, Nice and Cannes in the cal stakes are raised even higher. Who coaster ride of suspicion and suspense, but Antopia, the fabled land where your own life. best European car chases since the Italian does he represent? Who can they trust? look out if you’re an innocent bystander, you are able to choose a life by Job. And what by jiminy is in the case? because these boys don’t take prisoners. yourself. Does he find it? Another great facet to this film There is one problem, General lies in its quality cast. The Mandrill (voice by Gene characters are almost a perfect Spot of culture? Cosi Fan Tutte - Mozart Hackman), leader of the army. match for the voices. Woody Mandrill is intent on creating a Allen is a brilliant dead ringer - YVONNE ARNAUD THE- ence for a bunch of students. A the little old lady sitting just ting to ensure that he wins! pure race of super-strong ants, for an ant with a highly active ATRE - 10/11/98 lot of people argue that opera offstage with her Roland key- By disguising as a pair of and has his own agenda for mind and Sly Stallone plays has been superseded by board playing the harpsichord moustache-toting Albanians getting there involving getting his soldier friend, big yet cud- ll right, I admit it - operetta and the musical and continuo. Perhaps she was sup- the officers woo each others rid of all the weak worker ants. dly. Better visuals than ‘Toy opera is not everyone’s that there’s a dubious amount posed to be out of view, but girlfriends - all in the name of Story’ and a better plot than Acup of tea, and it may of pleasure to be gained in from where I sat it looked like comedy though! They lose just be the fact I’m a music stu- watching something conceived she was about to launch in their bet but all ends happily. The film has an incredibly ‘The Truman Show. A wor- dent, but I thoroughly enjoyed in the 1780’s. This production Wurlitzer classics at any Believe me, this is an exception wide ranging appeal. Kids thy film to go and see and this performance. would have proved them moment! to the norm though as in opera love the cute little cartoon probably one of the best you wrong. it is extremely unusual that a style ants, the funny, fast will see this year. 9/10 It’s often felt that opera is sur- The title of this opera means pair of female lead characters paced style and the happy end- rounded by an air of pretence Cosi Fan Tutte was performed ‘Thus do all women’ or ‘ The will live to see the final curtain ing. It also appeals to the more Nick Walsh but the Yvonne Arnaud strove in English (rather than its for- School for lovers’ so its hardly come down! cerebral among us. In a way it to make an evening of ‘culture’ mer Italian) and performed in surprising that it was slated is the animated film equivalent a completely painless experi- the dress and fairly simplistic throughout the 19th and early At 2 1/2 hours long, Mozart of ‘Animal Farm’. set style of its actual period of 20th century for being may have drawn out what is an composition. “immoral and frivolous” . We essentially basic plot but the The London Opera Players, a just found that fact more of an whole dramatic experience, not group of talented young per- incentive to go and see what all to mention the wonderful formers, actually achieved the fuss was about! The result music, was one not to be their aim of bringing tradi- was as close to ‘Indecent missed. tional opera to a diverse audi- Proposal’ as was allowed in the ence quite successfully and 18th century - mild flirtation Watch out for further touring carried the spirit of the come- and copious arias about the opera companies coming to dy beautifully. characters feelings... but noth- Guildford soon and if its the Congratulations must also be ing even provoking a blush price that worries you phone on offered to the orchestra - The these days! the evening of the performance majority of the music was and enquire about late avail- excellent (perhaps with the The plot centres around two ability tickets. Try opera once exception of a few bum notes young sisters who are engaged and you might just like it! from the violins), especially to two military officers. A cyn- Lucy Andrews the obviously talented wood- ical friend bets that he can Arts and Ents Chairperson wind section. The only make the sisters commit acts of object of our amusement was infidelity and sets about plot- The Paul McKenna Show Guildford Civic Hall their grip until they shook furi- interval and then ended the 8th November 1998 ously or lost all blood to their evening with the usual strip hands or indeed both. At the routine to the Full Monty. ollowing his Broadway climax of this those unable to Crazy capers continued success Paul McKenna free their hands were invited throughout the evening includ- Famazed all in attendance on the stage to take part in the ing a man frantically calling with his fun filled extravagan- show. ‘man the life boats’ every za of witty one liners and hilar- minute during the interval, ious hypnotic shenanigans. With a stage full of unsuspect- before blaming those around ing people Paul began to send him for the outburst. The The dynamics of the hypnosis them all into a deep sleep evening culminated in a went largely unnoticed as will- ready for their night of fame cacophony of calamity and ing members of the audience and of course…humiliation. cajoling capers as one man was closed their eyes and imagined Paul’s calming voice soon had led to believe he had left his a heavy weight in one hand us all transfixed wondering scarf on stage, and after a whilst string pulling the other what he would be getting the while became the proud wear- hand high above their heads. people on the stage to do next. er of a dozen scarves. Those with one hand on the floor and one reaching for the The student population was This truly was an example of skies were those with a free, soon represented by our very just how thrilling live enter- far-reaching imagination or so own final year Economist tainment can be. Catch Paul Paul said. Anyway, the audi- David Smith. He amazed us McKenna’s next hypnotic ence was then asked to clasp all with impersonations of a experience in the Civic Hall in their hands whilst our hypnotic ballet dancer, his personifica- March next year. compere turned an imaginary tion of a film director (com- Sue Butt and Daniel Jones wrench and people tightened plete with loudspeaker) in the n Thursday 19th November 1998 Features 5 A Dream Come True Interview with a Big Issue Vendor lmost one year ago unlike all others. volunteers are working tire- ive years ago, Joe That must be frustrat- we heard Mr Juan Athens 2004 will not just be lessly so as to complete the split up with his girl- So you have to buy the ing... AAntonio and athletic event, it will not preparations. Ffriend by whom he magazines from ‘The It is but you get used to it. Samaranch, President of the be merely about economic had two children. He found Big Issue’? International Olympic gain and organisational abil- After 109 years the dream solace in alcohol to numb Yes, I sell it on at a profit So Guildford is your Committee, announce “the ity. It is commonly felt that will come true. The the pain. “Instead of facing of 60p [Wholesale price main base of opera- city that will have the hon- the world is expecting Olympic Games finds the my problem, I ran our and the responsibility to something different from destination. away...That’s the story of 40p - Retail price £1]. tions? organise the Olympic Greece; expecting the return my life really.” Yes, been working here Games in 2004 is Athens”. of the true Olympic spirit. Hello World. Have you lost Do you benefit from fore five years. your way again? Have you At the moment, he is in the WHSmith and other From that day on, one The old adage that ‘winning lost your spirit of ‘well con- process of trying to get back businesses selling the How do you see your life nation, Greece, which is not everything it is the tent’? Don’t be afraid to his feet. He no longer has magazine? progressing? don’t forget organised the taking part that counts’ will because Greece is here an alcohol problem though Joe looks confused. Good question! To be first Olympic Games in never have been more true. again. You have trusted he is the first to admit that honest, I don’t know. I 1896, has proudly worked The Olympic Games have them in the past and they once an alcoholic, always an I heard a rumour that have just got a council alcoholic. I found him on towards showing the rest of already started for Greece. have given you civilisation, WHSmith promote flat but I have to get Saturday in Guildford High the world what the The roads, the stadiums, the trust them again and they Street outside Boots selling ‘The Big Issue’? How myself back on my feet Olympic Games are really airport and the subway are will offer you the real ‘The Big Issue’. does this affect you? before thinking of any- about. The Olympic all well on their way to Golden Olympic Games. Fortunately, he was not too We [vendors] are the only thing else. I take each day Games in 2004 will be being ready. Thousand s of busy to answer a few ques- market. No-one else sells as it comes. Giannis tions. ‘The Big Issue’. It is an WWW? opportunity for the home- What has been the high How did you get less to help themselves - point of recent years? he Ministry of (i.e. paying customers.) and to a special group of men. involved with ‘The Big people who are in the no Getting a council flat. It’s Sound have set up the designers are always on A word of advice though: Issue’? home, no bank account, nice to go somewhere Ttheir own website the look out for more writ- there is no indication as to Through a friend. I was no job, no home circle. after a hard day’s work to where clubbers from all ers. whether any of the informa- sharing a hostel room relax and have a bit of over the world can commu- tion on the site is true. For with him. I went with him Oops...Moving swiftly privacy, especially after nicate with each other. You Thursday (12 November) the designer’s sake, I hope it to ‘The Big Issue’ on, how are you treated sharing with others. can talk about what you was the fourteenth anniver- is. But an interesting read all [office] to sign up. by the general public? [Sounds familiar.] like, although the main top- sary of the release of the same. ics of conversation were sex Madonna’s second album Very well. Everyone is How would describe a and Essex girl jokes. “Like a Virgin”. The record For more reliable informa- really friendly and cheery Finally, do you have a was top of the American tion, there is always the typical day? and recognises that I am message for us stu- You can also subscribe to Billboard charts for six Official Fanclub of Fairly routine. I wake up only trying to make a liv- dents? the Ministry of Sound’s weeks. The title track was a Madonna, which provides at eight, start at nine and ing. [As if the whole inci- What can I say really? mailing list and receive info number one single, while the latest news about work through to five. It’s dent was staged, an old [Thinks for a bit] You go (in an E-Flyer) regarding: the songs ‘Material Girl’, Madonna’s appearances. just like a normal job. man buys a copy.] In to college for three years who’s playing at the club, ‘Angel’ and ‘Dressing Up’ Surfers can also read ICON London though, everyone or so for whatever rea- tour dates, the newest were all top five. Madonna’s MAGAZINE, a web zine Even when it’s wet? is a rush and tends to son...all I can say is to releases from Ministry of mass appeal shows no signs that documents the life & Yes, I have to cover my ignore me. make the best of it. Sound Recordings, website of abating however, as she times of Madonna. travel costs and the cost updates, competitions and was awarded the award for Published on the web quar- of the magazines. Interview by Pravin Jeyaraj the latest happenings from Best Female and Best terly, each issue includes a the UK club scene. Album (‘Ray of Light’) at self-penned letter from Game Review - Grim Fandango the 1998 MTV Awards on Madonna herself, along A link for the blokes: there Friday. with input from her closest Author: LucasArts Price: Day of the Dead, where rela- The soundtrack has been is a webcam link that broad- associates. This is an ideal £34.99 Format: PC-CD tives from beyond the grave carefully composed, really casts pictures live from the There are an endless number site for any fan. come back and are honoured adding to the atmosphere. club’s ladies toilets. Also of Madonna websites, 128 ands up all you who guests at dinner parties. The backgrounds to all the live can be heard broadcasts of which are listed in the This week’s websites have played Monkey LucasArts have taken this locations are all rendered in on the web from the Yahoo database. Madonna Ministry of Sound HIsland? Day of the idea further by depicting a 3D, while all the characters Ministry of Sound main Gossip seemed initially http://www.ministry of Tentacle? Indiana Jones and whole world in which the are drawn in real time using a room on Friday and dull. There were no pictures sound.co.uk/ the Fate of Atlantis? In fact, Dead live. You play Manny 3D graphics card. Don’t Saturday night. or bright colours just a list UK Club Scene it is almost certain that if you Calavera, a travel agent for worry if you haven’t got one of links leading to pages of http://www.x- own a PC then you have the Department of Death. His though, as the game will look For those who like their gossip. However, what the network.co.uk/uk-clubs/ played a ‘point and click’ job is to arrange travel pack- fine without! night outs a little less virtual page lacks in aesthetics, it Madonna Gossip style adventure game before. ages for the recently departed (but nevertheless just as soon makes up in generating http://www.joking.com/mad LucasArts, a company that to the Ninth Underworld. Overall the game deserves to good), check out the UK curiosity. Some of the onna.html has had huge success in this Unfortunately Manny hasn’t fly off the shelves in astound- Club Scene. This is a web- entries in the menu were: Official Madonna Fanclub area in the past, have taken a been selling very many pack- ing numbers. The fact that site containing all the details Madonna’s special relation- http://www.madonnafan- gamble by dragging the ages recently, and his job is LucasArts have put a lot of you need to have fun in the ship with Sharon Stone, Her club.com/home.htm game into 3D. The amazing on the line. work into this game really thing is that it works! shows. I was also surprised UK’s dance music clubs. It erotic encounter with This week’s keywords Grim Fandango is based on that the 2 Cds come in a card- consists of reviews submit- Michael Jackson, and “Ministry of Sound”, Clubs, The game is based on a the film noir style. With board holder rather than a ted by the clubbing public Madonna’s special message clubbing, Madonna. Mexican festival called the 1920s decor heavily influ- plastic jewel case. enced with Mexican and Grade A - One of the best Aztec ages, there is a real games of 1998. Marker: sense of class to the game. Gareth Harmer 6 Music Thursday 19th November 1998 n

3 COLOURS RED NOJAHODA Reading Face Bar 31-10-98 University Union 8/10/98 Following their soundcheck, where 3 Colours Red revealed to have rediscovered the spark that excited everyone so Nojahoda, such a big word for a band so young. Not actu- some of their mighty new material, I talk to guitarist Chris much when they first hit the scene 3 years ago. A couple of ally sounding, looking or giving the impression of having McCormack about the band’s forthcoming album ‘Re-Volt’. the new songs see the band using tapes to augment the nomadic tendencies, but it’s an impressively pointless word Chris is a little the worse for wear and they have only been sound, the forthcoming single ‘Beautiful Day’ is quite stun- none-the-less. In fact, this band, who look easily under out on tour for a day, he got to bed at 1.30pm earlier in the ning, possibly the best song they have written, and should twenty, could be seen as being the American Symposium. afternoon. “I went to a great party after the show in surely be a big hit single. The encore starts with ‘Copper Their sounds are a mix of brazen guitars, ranging from one- Leicester last night, and got a taxi here this morning.” The Girl’, I still find it hard to believe that Creation/Sony failed minute thrash skate punk through to (an ironic? cliché of) band’s new single ‘Paralyse’, is their heaviest record to date to make this a huge record worldwide, during which the stadium rock. There are two ways of looking at bands like and being a 4-track EP is ineligible for the charts. “It is good band sort out the idiot spitting into Pete’s face, before the this, firstly there are a lot of people who go for this sort of to do something more fan based. The reason for the single final adrenaline fuelled blast of ‘Aniseed’ and ‘Hateslick’. thing. They are out on tour supporting Reef and is the tour, otherwise there is no point touring if you don’t 3 Colours Red are well and truly back. By this time next Symposium, the people who would probably buy into this have anything out. We just wanted to ease back in and give year the world should be at their feet. sort of thing. So in a sense they are very marketable, which people a chance to see us again, then come back with the big Rob Winder is probably why music-maiming label Sony signed them. single, ‘Beautiful Day’, in January.” The second point of view is that there is simply no need for This is the band’s first tour in a year, do they enjoy touring? them. They had no songs as such just childish etchings of “I love touring, it is the best bit about being in a band. We their favourite bands Faith No More, Metallica, Aerosmith are a live band.” perhaps. Trying to equal rather than trying to better. It’s I always thought that 3 Colours Red’s first album, ‘Pure’, maybe unfair to be so hard on them, being so young. was poorly produced, the songs just lacked the bite that the Though the second guitarist did have the worst mullet I band had live. This time they have worked with Manic’s have ever seen and the bass player wore his cap sideways, producer Dave Eringa and the album had been mixed by so really they are fair game after all. Nick Walsh Chris Sheldon. “You will not be disappointed, we are proud of this album. The last one didn’t catch the live vibe prop- Delakota erly. This album is a massive leap forward, there was no point in making two albums like ‘Pure’. There are some good pop songs, some real heavy, riffy songs and some trip- py stuff like ‘Paranoid People’.” Chris is obviously very excited about the new album, and from the tracks played in soundcheck they have certainly delivered with the songs. “The music speaks for itself. It is just top. I couldn’t be hap- pier.” At that I leave him to get some more sleep. 3 Colours Red hit straight into their set with the new single ‘Paralyse’ a bruising slice of hard metal, the pace hardly drops for ‘This Is My Hollywood’. The sound is loud, Pete Vukovic’s voice is sounding great and the band are really into the show, playing harder and with more edge than I have seen them do in the past couple of years. They appear AIR/SEAN LENNON DELAKOTA Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, 1/11/98 Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms 12/11/98 This was the first UK date for the “French Band”. A chance to see them live was eagerly “Inside this comotion there is no distraction, intention is clear as the day it was born”. Lyrics awaited, as there have been delays due to the problems touring with their original 70’s from Delakota’s last single ‘C’mon Cincinnati’. Trouble was, it was far from a comotion. equipment. The venue choice was unexpected. How would Air’s atmospheric easy listen- The band having big problems with their sound, caused the show to be put back an hour, ing sounds represent itself in the gilt and red velvet of the Theatre Royal? Support was Sean and forcing the punters to have to wait in the foyer of the venue. Despite,good press hype, Lennon. Its difficult to review him objectively as the ghost of his father is always seems to an amazing debut album, and good airplay on the singles the venue is still half full. This is be omnipresent. He certainly has a lot more to live up to than most other musicians. The unusual in Portsmouth, where bands ask specifically to play this venue, as they almost comparisons came even more to mind when his mother was spied in the Royal Box. His always get a great, enthusiastic reception. voice certainly sound familiar but the similarities ended there, this was definitely new The warm up DJ tries to get people in the mood, but it is not actually until the band arrive music. It was difficult to pin it down to just one style. He tried lots of different stuff, some on stage, that there appears to be any signs of life. It takes until 10 o’clock for the expand- of it worked and some of didn’t. ‘Spaceship’ was a stand out track. Air’s intro music was ed 6-piece of a band to shuffle on. Starting with ‘Open the Door’ the last song on the album, ‘Sgt Pepper’ (cheeky!). It was hard to know what to expect, as they came on in identical the easy groove, seems rocky than on the record and better for it, bringing the song a new white “dentist” outfits. Would their performance be as ambient as the album or would they life. The set, of nearly all album tracks, bar one newie is both rockin’ and rollin’. With each be completely different live? The first two songs, ‘La femme d’Argent’ and ‘Remember’, new track from the confrontational power of ‘Brothers’ through to the harmonies of ‘On perfectly executed, were note for note reproductions of the album tracks. It was then good The Trail’. It is a fresh air to the dry and reserved bands who just stand there and play. to hear a couple of songs from earlier in their career; ‘Le Soleil Est Pres De Moi’ and Audience participation is an integral part of their show, and if no-one is dancing, then the ‘Modular’. When they spoke to the audience, in was in to a spooky sounding microphone band aren’t happy. The last three tracks of ‘The Rock’, which is so laid back, you don’t even making them sound like mad French accented robots! They experimented with some of have to try, you just soak up the feeling. Forthcoming single, ‘555’, is all seventies funk, the their new songs, it will be interesting to see what they sound like when they are released. backing singer employed works wonders, recreating the album version. The last track of the One of the highlights of the evening was a guitared up ‘Kelly Watch The Stars’, which show proper, ‘C’mon Cincinnati’, turns into an extended jam, going off on one and all the brought regrets that we were in an all seater venue, as the audience were too sedate! ‘Sexy better for it. Boy’ was remixed to become a 80’s sounding electronic track .The best moment of the night The band were so good, that the crowd wanted an encore, plus they deserved onebut owing was the guest appearance of Beth Hirsch, singing the unbelievably brilliant ‘All I Need’ and to the fact that the band messed everyone around. The band though had played all their ‘You Make It Easy’ with a voice that sent shivers down the spine. There were two encores songs and had nothing left to play so they then played ‘555’ again, but more sound grem- playing more tracks from ‘Moon Safari’ and French children TV themes (that’s what they lins creeped in an this finished half-arsed, but failed to spoil a really good gig. said they were anyway!) All in all, an excellent night despite a few technical hitches. I’m Nick Walsh looking forward to any new material released. Vanessa Turner Morcheeba / Beverley Knight ment how on earth she is able to do it. The backing band were so the album has sung it’s praises. The second song ‘Part of the tight, like the JB All-stars, loose yet always hugging the beat. Process’, with its easy vibe and reflective chorus soothe us still. Royal Albert Hall 9/11/98 Beverley though is the star in waiting, she really does have the best The guitarist Ross Godfrey works wonders with his slide guitar A night of laid back grooves, nothing too stressful. Both acts hav- voice I have ever heard, sung over songs, not just vocal exhibi- and blues motifs, giving a rocky yet melodic trim to the songs ing made significant boost to their fanbase, with critically tions. Which makes her a million times better than Celine Dion. which makes all the difference live. Playing a staggering yet wel- acclaimed long players. Morcheeba, released this year, the stun- Morcheeba, though were still better, with bands playing the Albert coming hour and forty-five minute set was perfect. The singer ning ‘Big Calm’ and Beverley Knight gave us the innovative soul Hall they seem to push the boat out, and here was no exception. Skye Edwards’ velvety vocals filled the auditorium no trouble, the masterpiece ‘Prodigal Sista’. Here they were complemented with, a string section, a keyboard sound so clear and whole. On ‘Fear and Love’, one of many high- Beverley Knight was supporting, playing initially to a half-empty player and various brass players. Beginning with ‘The Sea’, with lights, the strings added to a slow jazzy beat. These are a sort of crowd, but as each person entered, they too realised, what a talent all it’s dreamy imagery, and beatific ambience, a perfect opener welcoming excursion for such a band, choosing to write meaning- the young songstress is. Usually, with virtuoso (mostly female) allow us to dip our toes into the waters of the beau ideal. Part of ful songs compared to the others under the ‘trip hop’ straitjacket. singers, you think why sing 17 notes when 1 will do. But, when the glory of Morcheeba is their accessibility, yet still remaining you see someone of these abilities sing a seemingly endless trill, able to do what they want to do. Everyone I know who has heard Nick Walsh vocals gliding effortlessly over the band, you wonder in amaze- Thursday 19th November 1998 n Music 7

through territories similar to those an elderly rel- even if it is the first time you’ve ever heard ative with senile dementia will bibble on about, it.6/10 E.C. SINGLE OF THE SINGLES then ‘Salako’ are for you. However ‘Go On Then WEEK Enlighten Me, Why Doncha?’ is definitely the NINE YARDS - Lonliness Is Gone (Virgin) CORNERSHOP - Candyman (Wiiija) standout track on the single. 7/10 D.N. Funky soul punctuated by understated musical The ‘Rob Swift’ remixes are really rather good tinkering. The Full Crew Remix skates along with rapping over the top of the track and quite a DOPE SMUGGLAZ - The Word (Perfecto) smoothly reminding of a British Boyz 2 Men bit of scratching on it. It also doesn’t sound much Amidst the height of Grease fever, comes the with a Fugee style rap interlude. 6/10 D.J. like Cornershop (i.e. a bit dull really) which helps inevitable dance re-make of the Bee Gees’ theme a lot. Also the ‘Schizod Man’ mix is good, by tune, barring the word itself. Initially, this sounds SILVER SUN - Sharks (Polydor) injecting a large amount of disorder into affairs. how every other crass ‘70s club resurrection So this is the band that has been on TFI Friday, 8/10 I.P. does, and highly repetitive to boot, but evolves are Chris Evans current favourites and have been into a funked up disco stomp, sure to be a hit on getting all the critical acclaim lately... well I per- BEVERLEY KNIGHT − Sista Sista the dancefloor. Still, not a patch on the original. sonnaly think they are over-rated. This song is (Parlophone) 7/10 J.R.H. about “staying away from bad things”, but you Rapidly rising soul singer, who played the Union can hardly convey that message just by repeating MARILYN MANSON The Dope Show not long ago, so people should be aware of her. MONK & CANATELLA - Son 4.5.98 (Telstar) the line “keep away from the sharks” over and (Nothing) Rather than being slushy, dumb, R&B, this is real Welding a little rap and an underlying hip-hop over again, with some bland unoriginal guitars in This is the first single of what could be many class. Taken from, her critically acclaimed album beat to what is basically an indie-rock tune, has the background, can you? 4/10 D.A. from his latest and greatest album ‘Mechanical ‘Prodigal Sista’. The bare arrangement, relaxed resulted in a highly effective melting pot job. Animals’. Not as poisonous as previous releases, beat, to this song, give the vocal a platform, from Overlayed with dark lyrics, this is a distinctly THE JON SPENCER BLUES EXPLOSION this is potentially main stream. Catchy. 8/10 which she can perform her majestic soaring. disturbing affair which, despite the variety, does- Magical Colors (Mute) G.N. Deserves to be massive. 8/10 N.W. n’t quite reach its destination. 6/10 J.R.H. Yeehaa that country guitar sound is all that you can remember from this single as it just plays on unpleasant, the verses act only to fill the time in GOLDEN - Passenger (Golden) LO FEDELITY ALLSTARS - Battleflag your mind and winds you up chronically. And for between. Overall this song is just bland.3/10 This is a dark/moody experience which, although (Skint) that 3/10 K.M O.M.S. mostly dominated by analogue synth elements, The lead track just doesn’t have enough chaos in manages to retain the foundations of a guitar- it to work properly and really has to be played ALABAMA 3 - Converted (Elemental based indie band. Slightly sketchy in the lyrics loud enough to destroy you’re house before it Records) department, but still possesses a surprisingly sounds really good. The second track on this CD Many bands strive to achieve a sound that is This weeks reviews brought to you by: fresh sound. Good bonus tracks too. A.S. 7/10 is much better than the title track with a more laid instantly recognisable as their own. Alabama 3 Daniel Jones, Denise Nicholson, Oliver back vibe which works a lot better. 6/10 I.P. however, have succeeded in taking this concept Chamero, Rob Winder, Andrew Smith, SALAKO-The Moon Radiates A Purple too far as ‘Converted’ is identical to their two Andrew Thomas, Nick Walsh, Emma Clark, Glow/Go On Then Enlighten Me, Why CYCLEFLY - Crawl Down (Radioactive) previous releases ‘Woke Up This Morning’ and Oliver Melville-Smith, James Hemingway, Doncha? (Jeepster) Cyclefly have the misfortunate tendancy to slip ‘Ain’t Goin’ To Goa’ (in much the same way as Gareth Nolan, Dean Arif, Georgina Tarrent If you like songs with long and interesting titles in to what sounds like a poor Placebo cover. The every Lighthouse Family song sounds the same). which are happy and poppy and meander songs are far to familiar, easy to hum along to Although the gospel chorus of ‘Converted’ is not

devouring darkness, spewing some fettered hope. cal dreamscape. 9/10 D.J. sound, and yes, the vocals are still affectionately The songs are offered not as the paeans of Stipe's annoying but there is just too much that has been ALBUMS heart but his re-working of the world, but in ANOTHER LEVEL - ‘Another Level’ heard before. The forthcoming single, and album songs like 'At My Most Beautiful' the inspiration (Northwestside Records) highlight, ‘Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)’ not R.E.M. - Up (Warner Bros) owes more to some emotion within. 'I live a sim- Another Level are a cool rhythm and blues group only steals the intro from Def Leppard’s ‘Rock An R.E.M. album bestowed with beauty is not a ple life..' suggests 'The Apologist'. Here it is with a mellow sound. The album sounds vary Of Ages’ but is basically ‘Come Out And Play’ strange thing but to have such a reverance as this, clearer the stories are liberations of people he's from a light dance rap with a strong beat to a with different words. There are a couple of other entrenched in the spinning, swirling cocoon of a met, imagined or, indeed, buried over in his psy- combination of harp and song. Talent in both good songs, notably ‘Feelings’ and ‘Why Don’t sounds, noises and a zillion orchestrated che. The sheer distilled beauty owes much, too, areas is evident in addition to all the styles in the You Get A Job’, which at least trys to sound dif- melodies makes for a euphoric kind of mela- to the twisted experimentation of Buck and Mills, middle. The degree of stylistic variation is ferent, but the album is just lacking that special choly. 'Up In The Air', seemingly a slow paced unshackled by the retreat of drummer Berry, unusual. A possible classic for chilling out to. something to make it stand out. 6/10 R.W. trance curls snake-like to emotional barreness which may have been the catalyst for this musi- 8/10 G.T. V/A - Skinful Vol 2 (Second Skin) ALBUM OF THE WEEK BECK - Mutations (Geffen) As the magnificent trio would most definetly Displaying quite a departure from his previous point out, this compilation is a tad repetitive and material Beck has gone back to his roots with a certainly not as good as the last more country tinged album. The sampling is min- compilation...which basically means that this is imal and from the first track you’d be forgiven the kind of cheesy drum and bass/disco shit that for thinking this was any other American country infests clubs lately.. there are one or two excep- band. However, once Beck starts the dialogue in tions, like Lexi Loves and Shape Shifter vibin his distinctive style it all becomes familiar. Proof remixes, but on the whole this compilation just that you can diversify without a complete over- ain’t that good... haul (U2 and Blur take note). 8/10 A.T. 5/10 O.C.

PAUL WELLER − Modern Classics (Island) This ‘best of’ of his solo career, includes all the singles, from his first solo album ‘The Paul Weller Experience’ through to his new single ‘Brand New Start’, despite his critics who label his work “dull retro”, this maybe so. Also it is well acknowledged that he did his best, most important both musically and culturally in The Jam. Nevertheless, listening to ‘Sunflower’, ‘Uh Hu Oh Yeah’, ‘Wild Wood’ through to ‘Broken Stones’ are great songs. While this music may PLANKTON - Ganja killed the Dinosaurs not be challenging, sometimes just being boring (Ochre) searching for that elusive “Authentic sound”, in a The debut album for a band consisting of two way there is a middle aged repose to the songs, part-time London techno DJ’s, Miles and Marcus but there is also a comforting latenight earth feel. Lavers, now find an urge for diversity. Spurred It is easy to slag him off if you’re part of by the idea to alternate the playing of instruments London’s cosy coterie, but why then has he such between their vinyl mixes, they have taken on an a loyal fanbase with everyone else? In a way his entirely different slant, opting instead for ‘avant- best work, since he has been solo has been his punk’ and expelling even the slightest hint of first two albums, his worst was probably heavy their dance music background. soul, with him reaching his peak on Wild Wood, As the title suggests, this is an album for the non- although the mostly subdued songs are more suit- sensical. Drum thrashing, sporadic piano playing, PORTISHEAD - Roseland nyc live (Go Beat) ed to a night in than preparing you for anything distorted guitar chords, and flat monotone vocals At last Portishead have released a live album and wow what an album with tracks from their previ- else. If you like the songs, it is worth getting. reminiscent, but a poor comparison to ‘Black ous two albums including ‘Glory Box’ , ‘Sour Times’, and ‘Over’. The set was performed at the 7/10 N.W. Grape’, making this somewhat incoherent and a Roseland Ballroom in New York where they wove intricate orchestral arrangements into their rap- little disturbing to listen to. They are quoted as turous, and cinematic soundscapes. This added effect gives each song a whole new dimension as mas- THE OFFSPRING - Americana (Columbia) priding themselves in having no trend to ascribe sive sounds echo around you with each one a definite sonic blast to your ear drums. All the Bristol If you like The Offspring’s ‘Smash’ album, to, but the catch 22 situation as a result is they fail sound is there which has been enlightened by the ballroom. The scratching which takes place during you’ll pretty much like this. Basically they have to become trendy in the process, which, judging the whole set is more real then ever before its not just a background sound anymore its a front run- recorded a bunch of very similarly sounding by this album is more than apparent. 3/10 ner. And of course not forgetting the exquisite voice of Beth which explodes with all the dynamics songs, but have used a much higher production D.M.C. of nuclear bomb. Totally out of here, Brilliant. 9/10 K.M standard. Yes, they still have that fun punk-metal

Thursday October 12 1998 n Entertainments Guide 9

Cineline 0870 505 0007 OFU

Fri 20th Nov to Thurs 26th Nov Out of Sight Saturday 22.00 Ronin fri-sat 13.00 15.50 18.40 21.30 sun-thurs 12.15 15.00 17.45 20.30

20th Les Miserables Friday NO WAVE - HRB fri-sat 12.10 15.10 18.10 21.10 sun-thurs 13.45 17.15 20.15 Rounders fri-sat 12.40 15.30 18.20 21.10 sun-thurs 12.15 14.55 17.35 20.20 Blade fri-sat 12.55 15.45 18.30 21.20 sun - thurs 1225 15.05 17.45 20.30 21st Hope Floats Gattaca is this weekends film ation when the mission direc- fri-sat 13.30 19.10 showing in LT G on tor is killed. Will the police Saturday sun - thurs 12.30 18.10 Sunday 22nd at 5pm track down the former Vincent before the once-in-a-lifetime ANTZ and 8pm and Monday fri-sat 11.00 (sat only) 13.15 15.30 17.45 19.55 22.00 lauch. Vincent must avoid 23rd at 8pm and starring sun - thurs 12.25 14.40 16.50 19.00 21.10 arousing suspicion, while Ethan Hawke and Uma The Exorcist passing the tests, evading the Thurman fri-sat [13.00 16.00(fri only)] 18.45 21.30 police, and not knowing whom Vincent is one of the last “nat- he can trust... sun-thurs [12.05 14.50(except sun)] 17.30 20.20 ural” babies born into a sterile, Ma Vie En Rose is the Arts 22nd A Student Band - See There’s Something about Mary genetically-enhanced world, film showing on Wed 25th nov Sunday fri-sat 16.15 21.40 Union for details where life expectancy and dis- at 8pm in LT G Ludovic lives sun-thurs15.20 20.40 ease likelihood are ascertained in a french suburb with his Elizabeth Club Tropicana at birth. Due to die at 30, he parents, two brothers and older fri-sat 13.45 19.00 has no chance of a career in a sister. Ever since he can Hari’s sun-thurs [12.45 18.10(except wednesday)] society that now discriminates remember,he has been con- The Truman Show against your genes, instead of vinced that he is really a girl. fri-sat 16.30 21.50 your gender, race or religion. His family humour him until sun-thurs [15.40 20.50 (except wednesday)] Going underground, he he stages a wedding with his 23rd Small Soldiers assumes the identity of Jerome Catholic friend Jerome, who is

Monday sat 11.30 13.55 16.20 and achieves prominence in also the son of Ludovic’s sun 12.45 15.10 the Gattaca Corporation, father’s boss. Snake eyes where he is selected for his It is in French but don’t panic fri-sat [12.15 14.35)fri only] 17.05 19.30 22.00 lifelong desire: a manned mis- if you are not fluent - there sun-thurs [13.00 15.30(except sun)] 18.30(except mon) sion to Titan. aresubtitles. 21.00 Constantly passing gene tests Mulan by diligently using samples of Buy your tickets from the sat 12.45 14.55 Jerome’s hair, skin, blood and union receptionist or reserve 24th sun 12.45 15.10 urine, his now-perfect world is them via the box in the post

Tuesday thrown into increasing desper- room. RAG Beer GIG GUIDE It is always advisable to confirm with the Competition venue before travelling. Thurs 19 25th Double & Mixer £1 Sebadoh @ Oxford Zodiac Fri 20 Wednesday STUDENT COUNCIL - 6pm LTD Jetpak/Floor @ Camberly Arts Centre Sat 21 Enertia/Sonic Blue @ Aldershot West End Centre RAG PRESENTS ITS ANNUAL Sun 22 26th GCR - NO Wave Night Front 242 @ London Astoria HRB 8-2 £2 BEER DRINKING Thursday Mon 23 Elementary @ Reading Alleycat COMPETITION Tues 24 TAKING PLACE IN THE Henry Rollins @ Oxford Apollo Wed 25 MAIN UNION

27th Foil @ Reading Alleycat. Symposium WEDNESDAY 25TH NOVEM- Friday @ London Brixton Academy BER Thurs 26 L.A. Doors/Pollen8 @ Reading Alleycat. KICKOFF AT 8PM £2 Alabama 3 @ Camden Electric Ballroom DOUBLE+MIXER STILL AT Fri 27 £1!!!!!!!!Any problems please feel free to Dolce Vita @ Reading Alleycat 28th contact us via the RAG pigeon hole Saturday 10 Welfare & Advice Thursday 19th November 1998 n Dr Russ Out and about in The Devastation in Dear Russ extremely interesting”. Those answers may sound Guildford & Woking Central America naff but at least they’re pos- A friend told me about a Coming up at the Civic laughter and song will be on HOW THE USA MADE for so long. Governments really difficult question itive. Hall, there are a myriad of offer in this variety show. IT WORSE like the US have systemati- which she was asked cally looted the region for That particular question is mesmerisingly interesting during an interview. he disaster, which hit decades. Honduras and one which you are almost events B/O (01483) 444 555 The Yvonne Arnaud How is it best to answer Central America, is a Nicaragua are paying over certain to be asked during Theatre continues to show these? massive blow to an $1.3 million a day, every day, the interview. The best L’esise d’amore. 25/27/28 Alan Acykebourn’s hilarious T already crippled country. to line the pockets of the way to deal with it is to November (£5-13) comedy ‘How The Other Over 10,000 people are bankers. Every penny means Dear Juliet plan your answer in Guildford opera returns with Half Lives’ starring Anton known to have died already, less money to strengthen its advance. However, if you an enchanting tale of love and Rogers and Angela Thorn following Hurricane Mitch infrastructure, to improve Actually, I’ve been on the get a question which you flirtation set in an Italian vil- until 28 November and which devastated Honduras, roads, bridges and houses, receiving end of one of are not expecting, could I lage. should be a barrel of laughs. large parts of Nicaragua and which can withstand the these. The very first ques- suggest you try the follow- Call the B/O on (01483) 440 other neighbouring coun- force, the nature. This is why tion I was asked in my first ing. First of all it’s very Mediaeval Baebes 000. tries. hurricanes cause massive ever job interview was “Tell important to keep calm. 29 November devastation and death, but me, Mr Clark, what prompt- Don’t worry about pausing (£10.50/12.50/14.50) The New Victoria At least two million people not when they hit Florida. ed you to apply to our com- before you answer. Ask The glamourous young lasses are refugees, and the death New Labour minister Clare pany?” At the time, I sim- yourself what exactly Theatre in Woking plays devoted to the sounds of the toll is likely to soar as starva- Short claimed that “debt is ply panicked. What could I they’re trying to get at. host to ‘The Crucible’ from swinging 1360’s are tion and disease start to set completely irrelevant” to the possibly say - surely the They almost certainly want 23 – 28 November. Set in the renowned for luring a male in. When you look at the his- disaster. The government truth is the best thing in to find out something about village of Salem, this drama audience. tory of Honduras and now talks of a ‘moratorium’, emergencies I told myself. you which will show them of human conflict, corruption Nicaragua, you realise the or temporary suspension of “Well, you pharmaceutical whether you can do the job. and self-deception amidst Danny La Rue in the Hiss problems they have now are debt repayments. The $250 firms are all the same so I Frame your answer in such accusations of devil worship and Boo Music Hall Show not just down to Hurricane million debt payments made just stuck a pin in it”. a way that it says some- and sexual depravity, which 3 December Mitch. Honduras and by Honduras already this thing positive and relevant all seems rather interesting. Nicaragua are the two poor- year are enough to repair a My intense relief at being about you. It doesn’t have (£7.50/8.50/9.50) Tickets £6-16, call the B/O on est countries in the Western vast amount of the damage to able to blurt out the sem- to be earth-shattering - just A concoction of music, (01483) 761144 Hemisphere after Haiti. the capital, Tegucigalpa. blance of an answer was confident, honest and to the Before the hurricane, about matched by the look of point. The Future is Bright abject horror on the inter- 70 percent of the population The debt can and should be were living below official cancelled now, but this is viewer’s face. She got rid By the way, if you really ou’re hot. You’re hun- lived on. Malaria has been subsistence levels, yet all this only one part of the pillages of me as soon as she could can’t answer a question, gry. Your possessions, rife, other diseases spreading is hard to believe, when you Central America has been and I was left licking my why not ask if you can Yyour home, your town so quickly. consider both countries are subjected to. World powers, wounds. come back to it later. It went under water long ago. rich in resources and have above all the US, and multi- shows you’ve got the confi- You’re a refugee, one of mil- You think about the past. To a fertile land. national businesses have What could I have said? dence to ask and it gives the lions. time when people had every- played a key role in reducing How about - “I’ve applied old grey matter a chance to thing they could possibly want They are poor because of the the region to poverty. The to you because I believe mull over the question in The weather changes dramati- and far more besides, and yet crippling burden of debt to US has always used Central your company could make the meantime. They might cally and unpredictably. Some still were not satisfied. A time Western Bankers and the pil- America as it’s backyard and the best use of my abili- even forget they asked the animals have long since died when people wanted to build laging by multinational busi- seemingly continues to do ties”, or what about “I read question in the first place - out. They couldn’t cope, and bigger, better, faster, without nesses which has taken place so. about the kind of work you but don’t bank on it! you’re only hanging in there appreciating what they already require graduates to do and Russ Clark by your fingernails. had. When the dire warnings I must say it all sounds Careers Service were not heeded, when The fragile systems that gov- nobody wanted to believe the erned the food production and predictions might come true. Fire Matters distribution for the planet doesn’t exist any more. The To a time when people were his is the time of that this was a practice fresh water supply has become too wrapped up in their busy year when the evacuation. contaminated with the sea little lives to care. When they TUniversity is oblig- water that rose up and didn’t bother to make a few ed to carry out fire drills in Despite the inclement drowned or washed away small changes, not wanting to order to fulfil our legal weather and the fact that everything in its path. The believe that they might have to obligations and ensure the most people had no coats sun’s rays beat down on you. make bigger ones later on, or safety of our staff and stu- with them everyone man- that catastrophe was just dents. As many of you aged to maintain their It’s crowded. Some of the around the corner. will already know a prac- good humour whilst real- plants and animals may have It’s the future Jim, but surely tice fire evacuation drill ising, after the recent gone, but so has the land that a not as we want it. THE UNIVERSITY CONFERENCE OFFICE took place in the early disco tragedy in Sweden, third of the people in the world Claire Haggett hours of Saturday morn- how serious and important REQUIRES STUDENT HELP IN JANUARY. ing. (0115hrs 14.11) at the it is for us all to be aware Food (and more) ..For Thought THE WORK WILL BE VARIED AND Students’ Union. of fire safety procedures. INVOLVE DEALING WITH CONFERENCE his is your invitation to We plan to hold Groups in the free lunch...... in return Library on various days/times DELEGATES Over 1250 students and 50 The Union staff reacted AND HELPING TO ENSURE EVENTS RUN staff were involved in the very quickly to the situa- Tfor attending a lively until 9 December. Discussions drill, which went very tion and did a particularly Focus Group to give us your will last about an hour. Lunch SMOOTHLY well. the whole union good job, conducting views on how we can improve or refreshments will be pro- building was evacuated in themselves in a very pro- the Library and our services to vided according to the time of APPLICATION FORMS AND JOB six minutes and although I fessional manner. you. day. Library staff will be running a DESCRIPTIONS ARE AVAILABLE FROM am a new face at the THE CONFERENCE OFFICE University myself, I am I’d like to take this oppor- major survey in the Spring *You will also receive a £2 told that this is somewhat tunity to say that we will semester and your ideas and copycard and be eligible to (PHILIP MARCHANT BUILDING) of a record. There is natu- not be carrying out anoth- comments will form an essen- enter a prize draw for a book rally always room for er drill in the foreseeable tial part of this. This is a real token or copycard up to the CLOSING DATE:- opportunity for you to have value of 30 pounds*. improvement, as it took future, so should the fire THURSDAY 26th NOVEMBER 1998 most people about 30 sec- alarm sound it will not be *your* say in the development If you are interested please onds to realise what was because of another prac- of the Library service. We contact the Library occurring. There were, of tice. Thank you all for need to hear from a wide Information Desk or Sue £3.50 PER HOUR course, the odd one or two your co-operation. cross-section of our users and Telfer e-mail s.telfer@sur- PLUS FREE ACCOMMODATION ON CAM- that were reluctant to even non-users; everyone’s rey.ac.uk ext 9233 or PUS leave the premises even Mark McGlinchey comments will be valuable Glenda Davies e-mail though they did not know University Fire Officer [email protected] ext n Thursday 19th November 1998 Letters 11 Letters

To whom it may concern, publications and amend my half of the time is wasted on Dear Editor, ual age of consent, and the proved now. It is therefore views if necessary. procedural motions and repealment of Clause 28, surely natural that an elected Thank you very much for debate-scuppering standing While reading last weeks might never have been body of politicians want to the anonymous personal I feel that perhaps you orders”. article by Nick Walsh, (The raised. do what is best for the fami- attack in response to my chose not to understand the tabloids go too far again) I ly, hence the Tories’ Back to article on the NUS. This point I was making in refer- To say that NUS is perfect was appaled by the hypo- Until the end of the Second Basics campaign, and article appeared alongside ence to the political alle- would be a mockery but by critical nature of the author. World War this country had Labour’s new White Paper, my job title of “External giance of the controlling highlighting both the good I agree that some of the a firm set of morals and the “Family Values”. Affairs Officer” precisely elite of NUS to the Labour and bad points, and in some comments were perhaps Family was a strong institu- Personally I don’t believe because it is my job to bring Party (I am well aware of detail, I feel that my article inappropriate, but if noth- tion. Since then a liberalisa- that either take the neces- the NUS to the attention of the position of Unions in the raised awareness of NUS in ing, else people in support tion of these morals has led sary steps to cement the Surrey students. The political spectrum). This is a a way that had not previous- of homosexuality must, by to a deterioration of the fam- family’s place back in the University of Surrey reality, as illustrated by the ly been achieved by any nature, be liberal; a way of ily with an ever increasing backbone of the country, but Students’ Union situation with tuition fees. member of the executive thinking that promotes free- divorce rate as well as and it does show that politicians Constitution states that part The general feeling at that committee (including dom of speech. With this in increase in the number of recognise it’s importance. of my role is to “be respon- time was that the NUS did myself). The fact that I am mind it is quite disgraceful single parent families. sible for keeping all Union not do as much as it could to receiving responses, in per- that he should go onto insult Increased social unrest has, At the end of the day, most officials and members prevent the introduction of son, via Bare Facts and in other peoples beliefs surely by no coincidence, people experience the tradi- informed of relevant NUS tuition fees because of the Student Council, means that (Paragraph four). followed leaving a genera- tional idea of family during policies and action being political aspirations of cer- I have achieved my goal. tion with few or no morals. their life and it is therefore taken”. Therefore I was act- tain leading figures in NUS. However, if you feel open Having already said that In the aforementioned para- short-sighted, to say the ing entirely within my role discussion on NUS to be a some of the articles were graph, Nick Walsh implies least, to suggest it is outdat- and justified in airing and As to attendance of the threat to the Students inappropriate, Norman that the notion of ‘family’ is ed, In this case the minority countering views that have NUS Blackpool conference Union, and that using my Tebbit’s fears have clearly outdated. I propose quite views is anti family , a view been shared with me over I took up my post after nom- role as External Affairs already shown themselves the opposite. If nothing else which could have serious the last nine months. inations for attending had Officer to achieve this is an during the life of this it is clear that man and repercussions for the whole closed, none of the dele- abuse of my responsibility Government. Without woman were made to live World in the future. I apologise most sincerely gates stood down, and as an elected representative, homosexuals like Stephen together, and together raise Mike Ashworth for having called “organi- despite offering to go as an then I challenge you to pro- Twigg in the Government, a family - an argument that I sations such as communists observer for Bare Facts, my pose and second a vote of issues such as the homosex- don’t feel needs to be and yogic fliers” crackpots. own situation of relative no confidence in me for the I was not referring to the student poverty prevented next Student Council. In Outrage review Socialist Party of Great me. I have, however, been this way I will be able to Britain (based in Clapham conscientious and accurate find out who you are, and his week saw the the real test of endurance on worth £230 donated by High Street), nor to the when reporting the facts debate our feelings on NUS return once again of stage, riding for the USSU - “Ski-Bartlett” in Hillingdon Democratic Left, nor to the about NUS and its structure in open. TTOUTRAGE on Snowboard 98 Team, Middlesex, and now at the Natural Law Party, whose as presented at the NUS Wednesday evening, with a ‘Kristian Steele’ (1st Year) Wycombe Summit ski slope manifestos I have read. If meetings I attend and from “I do wonder why there is Snow Board Party. held his style and balance in in Bucks. there are any other commu- the literature I receive. I this recent trend to make all Amongst the OffPiste” the amazing run for over 3 nist parties or supporters of have also received a letter letters in BF anonymous- Boarding Revellers, minutes on the snowboard See elsewhere in this issue yogic flying who attend of support for the view I are people scared of voicing Congratulations go out to simulator, with rival board- for more details of Ski- NUS conference and pro- expressed which states: “I their views?!”Yours sin- ‘Lizzie Hales’ (1st Year) ers Sam and James finishing Bartlett, for all your skiing duce manifestos, and who can assure you (having been cerely (and in my own who was the quickest down- joint second. After this gru- and snowboard needs. feel offended by my article, to NUS conference myself) name) Marcus Mayers hill playstation snowboard- elling display from our top Outrage return on 16th DEC I shall be happy to read their that it IS a shambles, and External Affairs Officer er, winning a Sony 3, Kristian was presented with their final Party for 98: Playstation Game. As for with a “Scott” Snowboard “The XMAS Foam Party” - Monday 23rd November 1998 MTV Europe Music Awards

ITV, Saturday 14th rivals All Saints. Mel C and ed with the awards for Best Busta Rhymes, Manic Street November, 11.15pm - Emma collected the awards Female and Best Album. Preachers, Aqua, Pras 12.45am for Best Group and Best Pop Michel, 5ive and German by Pravin Jeyaraj Act to a deafening cheer. The ceremony was inter- guitar dance act Rammstein. Last year, the band were spersed with ‘live’ perfor- The show ended with he ceremony was booed off stage at the MTV mances from:- Faithless, ‘Millenium’ by Robbie recorded the day Awards in Barcelona. Madonna, All Saints, REM, Williams. Tbefore in Milan, and The full list of winners (in order of announcement) are as presented by bubbly blonde All Saints themselves are on follows: Jenny Macarthy. She intro- course for being declared Best Male Robbie Williams duced each act that per- the next Madonna. Their formed with as many puns raunchy (but legal) perfor- as could be squeezed into mance of ‘Lady Marmalade’ Best Group Spice Girls half a minute. was sure to get testosterone levels rising. Not that that is Best Dance The Prodigy The status of MTV as the a bad thing! Jean-Paul music fan’s mecca was con- Gaultier and Giorgio Best Song Natalie Imbruglia ‘Torn’ firmed by Faithless opening Armani presented them with the show with ‘God is a DJ’. the award for Best The group was nominated Breakthrough Act. Best Rock Aerosmith for Best Dance Act, but they lost out to The Prodigy Madonna showed that no Best Female Madonna who decided to break the matter how many awards habit of a lifetime and actu- you win, receiving each one ally appear to collect it from is just as exciting and sur- Best Pop Spice Girls Natalie Imbruglia and Bush prising as the last. 1998 has frontman Gavin Rossdale. been a busy year for The Best Rap Beastie Boys Material Girl - she appeared Even after the departure of as Evita in the Hollywood Best Breakthrough All Saints one member, the Spice Girls version of Andrew Lloyd still showed they were the Webber’s musical, gave best (pop) group in the birth to a girl and revamped Best Video Massive Attack world, beating the Beastie her image yet again. And it Boys, Garbage and arch- paid off as she was present- Best Album Madonna ‘Ray of Light’ 12 Personals and Notices Thursday 19th November 1998 n Personals Notices University of Surrey Thursday 26th november 18.00 n wendy - i fancy you, not nZim-Zam! Three am you naughty nurse nhow is steve the bruised Lesbian,Gay and Bisexual TB22 cindy crawford jaunts from one side of nhappy birthday sarah for nose raindeer? Society meetings every Tuesday n to the man from the lit- Guildford to the other. saturday. love and bites j & nbimbo - maybe you tle insignificant island in Dedication or just the call c should come rugby train- 8pm, TB20b, or e-mail EARS AGM- The Electronic the middle of nowhere. of the oat monkey? nyou have a great bod taz ing [email protected] for further & Amateur Radio society is hold- how’s the buns? from your nin the words of oscar but who was that black nyou’re glowing kay(!), information ing it’s AGM at 18.00 on tracksuited friend. wilde, “thhhhhpppppt !” haired bitch!!! where were you on Thursday 26th November in n pull score:fresher nbimbo, maybe you npete - or should i say wednesday????? Pool Society AGM 18.00 by 13BB21 1...greek 1. was the pierc- should stick to rugby!!! adonis - what woman nthanks for that [chilli the pool tables on Thursday 19th ing good for you? naristotle, aristotle was a wouldn’t have your seven- sauce], last night - it November Tai Jutsu AGM Sunday 29th n the hall restaurant girls bugger for the bottle !! teen children???? almost killed me. it was- november at 15.20 Campusport have fun because... they n n matt, uc66, fancy a top- boy d - not in bare facts good. Oscar Film Unit EGM - To Studio. are dodgy! this week then?? n swap? rachel petie has an admirer - its elect a new secretary. Tuesday 1st nroom 5 but they are cur- naaron, was it as good for nto all the gorgeous bods official!!! he currently December - 18.00 LTH rently planning a life you as it was for me? on west 4. thanks for let- lives in uc45 Mechanical and Materials together. have uc59 got rid ni dream about having my ting me join in yourpizza nmddp footie - was the Engineering Society AGM of petie??? arse spanked by the blonde and perving sessions. love blonde one aiming for the Thai Society AGM - Friday Monday 30th November at 13.00 ntate 2, we’ve noticed you girl downstairs. romeo beaver woman. corner flag?!!! 27th November 18.00 LTA in 30BC20 around... do you find your dagnall nwomen’s rugby elite nwaste 1 - waste of fridge very attractive? nwatch out for herr flick training (no that doesn’t time!!! Are there any czech speakers wanted for dissertation! around campus... we have mean only 5 people turned n well... do you? wanted: the last remain- (mt or fluent) british born, pakistani females. if nmeharg - how much fun up!) ing man in the university ways of making you talk who can help with a language pro- you are willing to be interviewed are girls with tongue ndon’t agrue with odeon ndietitian in battered who hasn’t snogged us. ject? please contact: jo @ lim4jb for half an hour for my sociology studs? pillars sausage and bacardi breez- kirsten and sarah xx or ext. 4182 dissertation, please email me on npervy petie and nick(y) nnew police station on er calorie shocker! nSo if Rory McGrath has [email protected]. I would would like to announce campus... hse 47 ncaroline in flat 53 - you a bit of Graeme Le Saux in their forthcoming wed- nbit of a quiet spell holly, smell nice. him, you’d like the tape Netgamer AGM - Thursday really appreciate it. All replies ding. sorry girls. love from saving it up for soemone nsophie, shit me, that was would you Hawkins? 26th November 13.00 at the Union completely confidential. cathryn. special - jf?????? close! nUniversity of Surrey bar nwanted: 4 second year nmr benn will be moving nsophie, my red light is Football Club hit the A group of second year sociolo- management students to out soon. ha ha ha ha ha worn out now! Social Trail on Saturday gy students are doing a n Scout and guide club AGM do back to back leasing in ha. ha. stingers- the kestrels are 5th December with the research project on gender images n will be holding their on tuesday january 2000. interested s.u.r.f.c. formally chal- gonna get stung! Annual get pissed, swap in advertising. If you are willing contact claire on 440436 n footie shirts, oggle breasts, 24th november in teaching block lenge the footie boys to a do blonds have more fun to participate in a small group dis- or e-mail on li81ca. boat race at the beer com- get drunk, snog bird, get 23 at 8pm testy? cussion of about half an hour, with n”ian, lately you just keep petition nto my little heroine per- tits out, grope and pass out refreshments provided, please on scoring!!!!!!!” “...on ngio, keep away from big son, sat in any trolleys Xmas dinner. Green Society AGM contact me on sc71ce. and off the pitch” bouncers and fire escapes later puss, puss? Crossword No 85

Across Down 1. Primitive Drum (3-3) 2. To stare down (7) 5. Hard limestone (6) 3. Land-cultivation (7) 9. Unemotional (6) 4. Presbyterian minister (9) 10. Coined (6) 6. In being (5) 11. A festive occasion (4) 7. A rich sweet cake (4,3) 12. Recall to mind (8) 8. Tolerated (7) 14. Fraud (6) 13. A silver white element 16. Shot at (6) (9) The Almighty Basketball Tournament 19. Practice beforehand (8) 14. Most gloomy (7) 21. To bungle (4) 15. US partnerships (7) 22. Introduced from a for- 17. Much below actual ancy a game of basketball?? If any group of students are inter- ful diet over the next few months eign land (6) value (7) With exams in the not to dis- ested then please do not hesitate to would be recommended, e.g. 18oo 23. Disregard (6) 18. Compel (7) tant future, planning ahead is pop into the Union and pick up an calories per day, one and a half 24. An elephant, for exam- 20. An aromatic plant (5) F ple (6) vital! The Students’ Union aka the entry form or have a chat about the pints for each male a 25. Wooden hammer (6) Sports Officer Al, and the Hellenic tournament. day....etc.....hmmm! Last Weeks Solution Society are organising a tourna- Across: 1. antiquated 7. retinue 8. primp 10. garb 11. estimate 13. ment open to all Clubs, Societies, It will be held in the Sports hall at A whopping entrance fee of one top-hat 15. Athens 17. engaging 18. spin 21. snake 22. elector 23. groups of friends or enemies (for Campusports on the 31st of hundred pennies per player will be streetcars Down: 1. alter 2. tint 3. queasy 4. appoints 5. emirate 6. bright- all I care!) and all abilities. January 1999, not long away trust demanded on submission of your ness 9. pleasantry 12. gangrene 14. pageant 16. invent 19. pates me! There will be prizes, so a care- entrance forms! 20. beta Crossword compiled by Jeff Blackham n Thursday 19th November 1998 Surrey Pride 13 Surrey Pride Star Profile Pop My Cork! Stingers Face the Number 5, Gemma Herbertson Paul Cliff, Sports Editor Vital Stats; Mighty Kent Age: 25 t’s very hard, trust me! I done.....no, I think I really am Dept: Union don’t want to hear any- ill, now! With many of our his Sunday sees the To complement the first Sports Office - Ithing about the Bishop or teams looking to qualify for first home game home game Surrey will Administrator the actress thankyou very the Cup and Shield (not too Tfor the Surrey also witness the first pub- Nicknames: Herbie much. I’m talking about mention the many who will Stingers American lic appearance of the (as (does Bananas???) attempting to create an gallantly make it into the Football Team. After their yet unnamed) cheerlead- Sporting Interests inspiring monologue, full of plate!) a successful knockout strong performance ing team. (Any sugges- (and why?): Tennis, impassioned pleas and chest stage will be upon us before against Bristol two weeks tions for a name should be Running, Swimming swelling clichés and pro- we know it. One last push ago, it seems likely that left in the American foot- - for fun and general pelling it, not unlike an now, Mrs. Pride, and you the Falcons, like the ball pigeonhole). Kick off fitness (Ref. Bunty adrenaline tipped arrow, out may deliver a bouncing Bristol Bullets will get is at 1pm on the far side of Annual 1978 - Sports to the heart of your Surrey BUSA trophy! stung. This year’s starting the astro-turf at the Ed.) Pride. Usually, I find it flow- line up sees a perfect mix Varsity Centre. The Marital Status: ing uncontrollably (again no With success in mind, ex- of rookies and veterans game will be about three Swaying towards the schoolboy innuendo’s SURFC boy, Dan Luger, which should allow hours so feel free to drop married side please!), spouting forth like a made his debut for England Surrey to become one of by for some of it. We will Personal Info; geyser of undirected motiva- on Saturday in their cricket Britain’s premier also be drinking in the bar tional drivel. But today I find score demolition of Holland, What do you go for in a man? Eyes and humour University American afterwards and running myself stunted. Stifled. less than two years after fear- Favourite Drink? Guinness, in Dublin. Football teams. our traditional raffle. Impotent, if you like. The ing his career was over fol- Favourite Food? Roast Parsnips Dave (Mauer) Wall reason for this temporary lowing a cruciate ligament Favourite Music? Anything loud and in a occlusion in the pipeline of injury. Following a 10 month Scum To The Slaughter dark room (I Cant sing or dance) my otherwise flowing stream lay-off, Luger, who joined As Surrey Netballers of Ralgex scented sewage, is, the University in 1996 as part Sporting Info: I’m ashamed to report, an of the Scholarship pro- Wield A Mighty Knife! What does Surrey Sport give you?Admirers, a salary, a impending sense of gramme, showed the determi- Surrey 46 sink one quarter a pint in windy office (that’ll be the parsnips!), and most of all, lots of Christmas cheer. Joining a nation of the Pride getting Southampton 28 the Varsity afterwards - fun! few fellow sportsmen and himself fit to return to top chutney! What is your; most memorable moment in Surrey Sport? women for lunch in class Rugby Union and nother Strong Getting my job and feeling really proud at the Sports Fayre, Chancellors today, I felt capped his England debut off performance (Big The centrecourt worked because of all the enthusiasm, dedication and pride shown by eager to draw the conversa- perfectly with a try. Dave likes those!) hard all game which everyone. tion towards gift ideas, A bumper colour edition of A meant that Surrey led leads to a convincing win funniest moment you can recall from your days at Surrey? Christmas dinner’s and the Surrey Pride for you this for the Surrey netballers, throughout the match and “Is that Martha?” tradition of afternoon post week documenting a plethora extending their unbeaten dominated in all areas of worst injury? Cracking my (boyfriends) coccyx and exam beers towards the end of Sporting achievement. My run to three games. the court. Some excellent putting an end to riding (him!). of term. I feel light and new-found pot of Yuletide Defensive challenges and consistent shooting Do you have any sporting superstitions? Never jump on a relaxed, chirpy and giggly; in glee has even dissuaded me were frequent and well kept the pressure up but weak coccyx fact I feel almost.....happy? from further berating those timed which, combined Surrey were rarely trou- How does Surrey Sport affect your Social/Private life? evil souls ‘outed’ in this with some excellent bled and never looked What private life?! - my door is always open! I must be coming down with weeks Dictionary Corner. defensive tactics meant like losing the match. Is sex better before or after sport? N/A - until I’m drunk! something...on to business! Enjoy it while it lasts! that the Southampton This win leaves us on Who is your sporting role model? Grant and Nigel running With the BUSA qualification Goodwill and Peace to All attack had little opportu- course for a successful around Albert Square stages all but at an end for Men [thwack,,oof!], sorry, nity to shine. This result- season with many more Which sports personality would you most like to meet and most of us there may be a few Holly, and Women too! ed in a (wo)man of the wins to come. where? Linford Christie - for lunch of course! free Wednesdays on the hori- Be Jolly for Sport, Be Jolly match award for Becky, The Girl With Attitude Sum yourself up in 3 words? Blonde But Dizzy (sorry I used zon for you to get some work for the Surrey Pride. (See Dictionary Corner) too many words!) despite only managing to Shuffler Russel’s nominated question; Following a part- ner’s nasal injury, allowing no physical exertion, would it First Past the Post by Eddie Heardman be unethical for a member of staff to enter into a liaison ’m still looking for my er, Paul Nicholls takes Pasternak, continues his flat during a big race by any with a canoeist? Who nose what this question is a boat? - I’m first winner, as Queen of Buck’s Palace to Ascot, season on the all-weather at means, with a moderate hur- up the creek without a paddle on this one! ISpades disappointed in where the improving Dante’s Wolverhampton as he steps dler winning a small claimer the Murphy’s Gold Cup at Cavalier may also be worth up 2 furlongs. for the horse’s owners. Now that you are a Star of the Pride, which question would Cheltenham on Saturday, backing. Down at Exeter, my Following his previous mis- you like added to the profile list for next weeks Star, Footie Tony McCoy winning on the choice is Bally Lira, follow- Fakenham racecourse have demeanours, he has changed Club Vice Chairman, Jon-Paul Samuels? very impressive Cyfor ing up on an encouraging announced that they shall his whip action, and adopted Malta. This horse was appar- second on his first trip over waive the standard entrance the new foam and rubber If a footie fella stayed in on a Wednesday and his bird went out ently not even fully fit, and fences. Saturday sees the fee for students presenting model, guaranteed not to to Bojanglez, would you consider him truly dedicated or just capped with still being only return of the daunting ID on Monday 7th hurt the horse. McCoy has sad and needy if he turned up at her house after a 45 minute 5 years old, this could be one Aintree fences, as many December, in a pilot scheme. talked of leaving the racing walk at 3am? of the most exciting Grand National hopefuls get Jenny Pitman’s autobiogra- game, although he has Thankyou Gemma, now we can really see how the woman prospects seen for several some early season practice in phy has been in very high received support from own- behind the scenes of the Sports Officers lectern really gets years, and his odds for the the Becher Chase. demand, and the publishers ers and trainers alike. him going. If you haven’t met Gemm yet, she can be found Gold Cup were halved to 7’s shall be rushing through a in her all new windy office, cracking the coccyx of many a following this victory. Last year’s National winner, second print. It is felt that the whipping riding career - but we have heard that she prefers the shape Earth Summit will be lining rules in this country are of a parsnip to a canoe. Must remind her of something, Mr. Two other interesting perfor- up, and is sure to do well if A more contentious issue much more restrictive than in Sports Officer. Next up is the Vice Chairman of USFC and mances at the weekend, with the ground remains slow. At follows the impending disci- most others, and his offences resident Die Hard of the Varsity Centre Bar, Jon-Paul the March Cheltenham Ascot, Cyfor Malta is plinary hearing of reigning here would rarely have “What’s it all about?” Samuels. Come on then! Festival in mind; Grey Shot entered in the First National champion jockey, Tony raised a steward’s eyebrow won on his seasonal debut Bank Gold Cup Chase. McCoy, as he awaits to find in Australia or the USA. under Jamie Osborne, and is However, the 2 miles and 3 his punishment for breaking Currently more than a dozen down to 16-1 for the furlongs could prove to be on whipping rules. With this UK flat and jump jockeys are Champion Hurdle, and the sharp side, so being his fifth offence of the serving or are due to serve a although early favouritism Dontleavethenest may prove year, he now faces a mini- suspension. for the Triumph Hurdle has a better bet. Also at the mum of a three week suspen- proved a very heavy burden Royal Course, Navarre sion. McCoy is without However, the rules are there to carry over recent years, Samson is likely to be the doubt one of the most talent- to be obeyed and not broken, Katarino was a runaway win- favourite as he bids to extend ed jump jockeys of recent and because a successful ner on Saturday and takes his unbeaten streak in novice times, who possesses an jockey voices disapproval, that bogey position at 10’s. hurdles to 6. The Tote extraordinary will to win. he should not be given spe- On Friday, the in-form train- Cambridgeshire winner, The current case was not cial dispensation. 14 Surrey Pride Thursday 19th November 1998 n

Flexibility - Andy Goring, Sports Massage Therapist Tonight We’re Out For Curry And after a workout. So, before you start Brewin’, doing some slow deep stretches, it’s But First We’ll Give These Chumps A worth putting on a sweatshirt or extra layer to keep your muscles warm. Shoein’.

General Guidelines for Stretching: University D 6 nodded back by Cliffy for -make sure you are stretching the mus- Milford and Witley 2 Baldo to strike home. 1-1. cles and not the ligaments Milford looked despondent anicked half drunken, and quite frankly we should -never hold your breath whilst per- half hungover phone have taken over from there forming stretches but some sloppy defending tretching is probably the most takes about 10 minutes to stretch all calls to re-arrange fix- P led to them going 2-1 up neglected aspect of fitness and the major muscle groups and the bene- tures, swap players, organ- -stretching should not be painful and putting the boys back sports training, yet it is one of fits are cumulative stretching will also ise transport and dig up a S under pressure. We respond- the most important in preventing injury help improve your posture, alleviate missing Captain after a Miss -only stretch to the point of tension ed well and went in at half and improving sporting performance. minor back difficulties, promote circu- Moneypenny night out at -keep as warm as possible throughout time level thanks to a bril- lation and reduce muscle tension and Bojanglez may well have liant cross from Muppet fatigue. been expected given the GI -stretching must be performed on a Res skipper’s track record being headed home by regular basis to be effective Morton. It is important to stretch after the in days of old. However, warm-up, prior to your main training Saturday mornings version -hold the stretch for between 30 and 60 Some drastic switches dur- and then again at the end of the ses- of the Great Escape seconds, gradually increasing the ing the break left the team sion. Stretching after a warm up will revolved around the Old stretch when tension eases unsure of the skipper’s sani- prepare your muscles for the work Boys digging the B team out ty as Jockey was switched ahead and can also help improve your of a hole (not that it didn’t -finally, a stretching routine doesn’t to centre back and Wilson performance by increasing your range happen in my day or any- have to be restricted to training and on at right wing. Within the of movement. Stretching at the end of thing!). Arriving at the competition, it can be done every day. minutes the wisdom of the the session can help your muscles Varsity Centre to find a decision was evident as a recuperate better after a strenuous ses- wealth of stout hearted men Andy can be found at the Campusport beautiful ball from the out- sion (so you wont have that dull ache (not the boys that so many centre or contacted on 01483 452028. side of the skipper’s boot set the next day). of the other sides are flush with at present!), wanting Morton free to square for Bailey’s second and put us Flexibility starts to decrease almost as It’s important nothing more than a game into the lead. We never soon as you are out of short trousers to stay relaxed of footie and a jaunt into looked back from there. and continues to do so through your when stretch- deepest Guildford for beers Five minutes later Cliffy adulthood, unless you do something to ing, as the and a curry, I found my faith skinned their right back and maintain it. body cools in mankind renewed (NOT crossed to set Baldo up to down quite an invitation, Zammo!). complete the easiest hat- Stretching is easy and enjoyable and it dramatically With Baldo Bailey, coming trick he would ever score, straight off a stint of night and he made it four shortly MEng Engineers on the Ball duty to play for us, the only after fine work from sub man on the field who didn’t Stir Fry, lead to another easy hey started rolling in runners up. This eliminated The 3rd/4th play off was not build up, the pressure of look ready to walk across tap in. soon after 3 on the FAB V and George’s played in the flamboyant sudden death to follow if hot coals for a victory, Friday, cautiously Constants. A Wooden style of preceding games as missed, one step, smack, the Surrey confidence was At 5-2 the game was over T with the exception of awaiting the start of the first Spoon match was played as the two teams were aching keeper dives (the wrong supreme at the kick-off. The M.D.D.P 5-a-side tourna- we were running ahead of at their previous defeat, way) they think its all over, early exchanges saw us win- Spooner’s rabid determina- ment at the Varsity. The six schedule and FAB V won denying them a chance to go it is now. BALL PARK ning the challenges in mid- tion to score after fluffing a teams, comprising of the fit, with Barney and Mrs each for the glory. BOY’s were the winners!!!!! field and quickly releasing series of chances. His not so fit and the down right scoring to give them a 2-0 wingers Morton and Cliff to moment finally came with 5 unhealthy (a couple of lads advantage, hence, George’s A quarter to six and the Position Team set up a brace of chances minutes to go when he inex- from 8 Old Court Road Constants took the Wooden whistle blew for the final from first time crosses. The plicably managed to weave being contenders for un- Spoon. match. Nothing between the inclusion of Basketball’s the ball past two defenders, 1 Ball Park Boy’s without ever having it under fittest of the day), turned up two teams as shots on goal 2 Bimbo’s Boy’s ‘Born Again Footballer’ to relieve some of the so- Two semi finals were played were saved in spectacular Delvin at centre back, control, shoot feebly for the called pressure we are under with a little more thought, style by both keepers. The 3 Rock Steady’s caused little panic in the ball to nestle lethargically at present. Some bright skill, even stupidity (I have breakthrough came when a Rovers first ten minutes as Brucie’s against the post, and thanks spark had suggested that an the wounds from that plastic long ball forward saw Costis 4 Crash Test boys ran riot up front, creat- to Randy not having the inter-project group Footie pitch to prove it) or a desire (attacking) and Bimbo ing many an unfulfilled heart (or pace??!!??) to beat Dummies him to it, smash it into the competition would be a to hold the trophy at the (goalie) both running for the 5 FAB V opportunity to pop the cher- good idea. Rugby I pro- close. Ball Park Boy’s were ball, Bimbo made it there ry of the referee’s maiden net from fourteen inches. posed but loud words for the the victors over Crash Test first and booted the ball 6 George’s Constants scoresheet. However, as tra- Final score 6-2 in a blaze of round ball were chorused. Dummies, 1-0. Wurzel straight into the advancing dition appears to be setting a yellow and blue glory. So Footie it was to be. notching up goal number 3. player, the deflection fell to precedent, we conceded the The other semi saw a close the attacker and so 1-0 to Throughout the evening a first goal (“History is a A well deserved win for the Warm up consisted of quick game of Bimbo’s Boy’s vers- Ball Park Boy’s. Bimbo’s high level of drinking was mighty foe to cheat in the Learned Sages of Surrey run to Tesco’s for booze as es Rock Steady’s Rovers Boys now on the rack as the maintained with the finale face of the future”, once Football which left the Brett’s bar failed to open for with Skinny knocking in the time ticked by. Barry Bethel being a boat race between said a wise man completely opposition Coach applaud- kick-off. Copious amounts winner close to time for saved the day with a some- the disciplines. The Civies off his tits on Loopy). As a ing us off the field, but a big of cheap French lager were Bimbo’s Boy’s. Score 1-0. what debatable goal in the led by my-drunken-self cross landed on the penalty Bunch of Arse to our old swilled before, during and final whistle. PENALTIES eased out the Mechies to spot and found itself rooted mate, referee Cyril West, after the early games. By this time the tension was it was to be. win after no shows from the under the Muppet’s boot. who blew the final whistle starting to build as the teams Sparkies and the Chem Eng Despite several attempts to just as I streaked into the The preliminary round robin for the final were decided. Trading save for save the boy’s. “Get F@c#in’ Rid!”, a box to score. Three in three saw early draws in the The touchline became keepers did well, until it was Milford striker relieved games for the Mansion fiercely fought out eight- awash with supporters. Real 2-2 with one each to go, Thanks to all that played; Mikey of his burden and Cyril! minute games, with the Ball footballers watched in awe Bethel struck and again Jonsie & Roachie the refer- hoofed the ballon into the Park Boy’s winning Pool 1 as the likes of Barry Bethel, Bob’s keeping was up to the ees; the supporters, includ- onion bag. 0-1. Mr Cliff’s School of and Rock Steady’s Rovers the Big Man (who’s not 12 task, adoring fans (Ann) ing our very own Dr. Bob; Spelling and Alternative finishing runners up. Pool 2 yrs old) and Karston the went wild in the crowd. So it and Brett in the bar for Surrey rallied well however, Medicines (co-director saw Bimbo’s Boys winning Dane swerved, dodged and was Bob to win the match, putting up with the raucous and within minutes a Churchill) and Crash Test Dummies baffled staunched defences. keeper verses keeper. The footie players in the bar. Fathead Babbs cross was Cheers. BIMBO n Thursday 19th November 1998 Surrey Pride 15

Are you good with your hands and like Surrey Exterminate Farnborough in Close playing with balls Fought Victory Surrey University 2nd would not be able to cope ‘Exterminate’ limb) out in f your answer is yes, XV 12 Farnborough with Surrey’s speed and front, Ben Mac proceeded to come and join us. We 3rd XV 7 agility! bulldoze his way through the Iare the one and only opposition on one of his runs, Sure enough, the plan with able support from Ben womens squash team at the here’s only one place University of Surrey. We seemed to work as Surrey Dewen and Dave Foley, saw to be on a Saturday kept the ball moving rather Surrey upto their 22. Again, it are looking for some lively morning, but unlike girls who can play squash T than commit to mauling with was Brad and Jeff who linked lesser mortals, the the prehistoric goons. Then up with Jeff finally slicing or are keen to learn. With ‘Wanderers’ were gathered at our coach, Karen Cheung, suddenly from a turnover through to score under the Senate steps for their trip to outside Surrey’s 22 Brad sticks. This time with much the best female squash Farnborough RFC. The pre- player in the south of picked up, drew his man and help from the left-hand post, match warm up saw some of unleashed Jeff down the Captain Steve was able to add England, who won Gold in the best moves of the day by the South East of Asia, wing for the try(5-7). With the two points (12-7). the backs, which led some- 10 minutes remaining Surrey there’s no reason why you one prophetically to say ‘If it can’t become one of us. pushed forward but ended the In the remaining quarter the goes right in practice then half defending their 22. game was fairly even, only a Squash is not only about courts next door. All it it’ll go tits-up in the game for ‘Wizbit’ special on the dead We have the best resources sure’. Some unusual tactics and facilities available competition, training and takes is a couple of hours a The second half started slow- ball line livened up proceed- were seen at kick-off as Rob ings, (one of these days the here at the University, strength, but it’s also about week and you can join us ly as Surrey took time adjust- Rock (Hooker for the day!) man chasing will get a hand to including squash courts at having fun, meeting new in representing the ing to the low sun making the was distracted by someone it). Mention must go to the Campusports, the Varsity people (both outside and in University of Surrey. If defence of our tryline diffi- on the touchline, remarking pack who really worked hard Centre (opposite Tescos!) the University) and per- you’re willing to give us a cult. For most of the third that ‘Stig of the Dump’ was both in set play and the loose. and much more. We’ve sonal development. It’s try, meet us at the varsity quarter, Surrey were restrict- on the pitch. But who could The lineouts were dominated won 4 out of 5 matches not all hard work either. centre at two O’clock on ed to their own half, and only that have been (Ewok?)! by Aesop and Richard as they this semester (not bad We organise regular Wednesday’s. We look some excellent team defend- rose high above the opposi- ehh?). socials and you can even forward to seeing you ing prevented Farnborough check out the talent in the .Jackie Rutter It wasn’t until Farnborough adding to the score. One par- tion to win Surrey ball and scored after about 10 minutes ticular Farnborough attack much of Farnborough’s. UniS suffer first loss in the National that Surrey woke up. ended with Wurzel under half Everyone gathered behind their pack over our try line, When the final whistle blew there were many relieved Squash League the touchline and a few harsh but it was worth it to prevent faces to be seen following this words were shouted about the try. Women’s World Ranking delight of not only the tackling and support. As the bruising encounter. The rugby Chichester 3 played was not classic by any by coming in to try her UniS supporters who had conversion went over, a Soon the forwards were into means but the points were on UniS 2 hand. She was up against travelled to watch, but the game plan was suggested that their stride moving the ball the board. Surrey could walk Stephanie Brind. Fresh home crowd too. consisted basically of run- and making ground. away with pride as they had aving had two big back from reaching the Chichester have been ning around the opposition However, the Dalek decided fought and won as a team and wins – the only Quarter-Finals of the around for a long time. rather than through them. As to momentarily breakaway nothing more could be asked Hcomplete white- World Championship, it They were well-organised someone pointed out, the from the ‘run-around’ plan. of them than that. washes that have appeared was obvious that Lisa was and very competitive, but ‘dinosaurs’ on the other team With one hand (or is that an Wurzel in the League so far – we playing a very accom- had made us all welcome. put out one of the youngest plished player indeed who They were obviously and least experienced sides was in no frame of mind to pleased that John had been ‘Community dance on possible. It was a gamble, give anything away. The able to turn in such a spir- but Coach Ian Robinson match lasted less than ited performance. was giving plenty of twenty minutes. Eric opportunity to more of the McAlpine had been given The next match is at home campus never looked so players he had signed. another chance after bat- to Devon and Exeter on Unfortunately the gamble tling away to a useful win Tuesday November 24th did not come off, although in the previous tie at Lee- at the Varsity Centre, good’ we have now had nine on- Solent. From being one 7.00 p.m. start. There are players representing us in game up, he lost in four some tickets available and the three matches to date – sets to Ben Garner. there is a huge student dis- “Winter Happenings III” and we are still at the top count. We will have the of the table! This meant we had lost best team we can muster – a showcase from the Campusdance participation programme overall, but there was still we have been stung by the “Winter Happenings” offers the Campusdance pro- autumn have included Adrian Grant, playing in a lot resting on the last loss against Chichester. you a rare opportunity to see gramme regardless of expe- Lambada, Breakdance, Line his second game, was the match. To lose 4-1 would No. 1 will be Paul performances of a wide rience or ability. “Winter dance, Chidren’s Jazz and first UniS winner. At only wipe out most of the Johnson, celebrating his range of dance styles, by Happenings” is another of Lindy Hop. Campusdance seventeen, he is maturing advantage we had accrued new No.5 position in the members of your communi- the hugely popular and suc- really is a must for all as he goes and has proved in one of our previous World Rankings – ahead of ty and at a venue near you. cessful annual events by enthusiasts. to be very tough to beat at wins. John Russell, play- the great Jansher Khan! This fun, lively evening will members of this amateur No 4. Twice he went a set ing for the second time as Also back will be the new have you tapping your feet, community programme. Book your tickets now as down but succeeded in No 1 string had returned World No 25, Steve clapping your hands and jiv- this show “sells like hot cinching the fifth against a from America only two Meads. Steve is captain of ing in your seat. As an audience member at cakes”. Join us on Saturday spirited Tim Vale, 15/10. days previously and was the squad. With John “Winter Happenings” you December 12th at 7:30 pm always going to be tested Russell being defeated Campusdance offers a wide will see choreography from in the PATS Dance Studio, Neil Frankland was at against Lee Drew. At two despite playing the last two range of high quality dance our regular course attenders University of Surrey, No. 2 for the second time games to one down, it was matches at No 1, we have a activities as part of the in Tap, Contemporary, , Guildford. this year. He showed how a testing time for him. John very formidable team University’s Campusport Street Jazz, even Salsa. If much he has to learn about is a tremendously exciting indeed. Programme. The mission your preference is for Ballet Prices are £3.50 full, £2.50 matchplay, courtcraft and player, but he was proving statement for Campusport rather than Ballroom you’ll concessions and £1.50 for coping with some difficult that there is a lot more to Do yourself a favour and is to encourage life-long find there’s something for children under 14 yrs. officiating as he went his game than mere excite- buy yourself or a friend an physical activity....Activity everyone! You may even Tickets are available from down in four games to ment. early Christmas present for Life! Students, staff and find a dance style you’d like the Campusport Centre James Robins. In the end, and come and watch world members of the public are to come and learn. Some of 01483 259201. James just wanted to win With a string of full-blood- class Squash in your own all welcome to participate in sessions on offer this more. ed shots to the nick back yard! (absolutely unplayable Contact: Philipa Robbins, Campusdance Participation Lisa Stephens celebrated when they work) he took By Mustapha Rally Programme Telephone: 01483 259201 Fax: 01483 300245 her first appearance in the control and won, to the (Special Squash Surrey Pride

Badger’s Tail Revealed From How Many BUSA Points? Between An Ample Pair Of Legs Southampton Inst 1 Surrey Uni WFC 2

UniS 2nd XI MHC 5 ground, and my stick into a same stuff as Baz’s and dis- Sussex 2nd XI MHC 0 defenders forehead. integrated on impact with a defender. We eventually fter Saturday’s per- Following a short injury realised that we had to pass formance, the break, Sussex seemed the ball and quick one-two ASchlong’s sacred strong and they miraculous- passes up front lead to bald- seconds were once again ly broke through our ranks ing Bob’s second goal. After hungry for victory. Constant only to hit the post. This I yet again ran straight into burrowing through the advance was to be a one off the keeper and was conse- defence lines by Badger and and they were never again a quently sprawled out on the swift sword play by Cut- threat. We soon regained our ground, Jake sailed in a shot Throat kept the ball in their the advantage and nifty (clipping my stick on the half for the majority of the footwork by Baz and his way!) finishing 5-0. match. bullet proof stick helped Axe battle in our second A tie for the man of the After two minutes of play goal. Soon afterwards, match resulted in a show- we took the lead as Chin- Badger (tail trailing in the down between Buster G and ast Wednesday saw the SEN-TRAAY-SHUN’ (as ture: turntable spinning for Chin Junior’s clean strike wind!) snuffled his way Aquaphobic. The ‘Comber women’s football and ever!) allowing the Institute eternity with the same old from the top of the D was around the oppo, connecting of Curls’ set off at a good Lrugby clubs teaming of Scumhampton Slappers to tune on the decks! text book stuff. We went on with Shearer to give us a 3- pace but settled for a disap- up in St. Trinian’s outfits for level the score as she breezed their respective games, away, through our back four who After many antics in the bar to dominate their D for the 0 lead by half time. pointing 13.84 seconds. against Southampton appeared to be lost in a dream with the Rugby lads from next 15 minutes and saw Aquaman proved that he Institute. Holly felt it neces- (...Beer?...Bo’s?...Football Cheltenham (phwoarr!), Basil demonstrating that his The second half was more was terrified of all forms of sary to abuse our nice Mr. Men?...), giving Clare no Slugger found herself on the play was far from fawlty by of a scramble with everyone liquid and babyshamed his Minibus Driver (James, hope chance in goal. Surrey wrong coach home with 30 undercutting from a 10 going for glory. Axe nearly way to 44.32 seconds break- you’ve recovered), who DID valiantly fought back and men but she has made good of degree angle, embedding died when the ball rebound- ing Badgers pitiful record. know the way, unlike once again took the lead as those odds before. The Union the ball into the keeper’s ed off his Adam’s apple Commendations to Isaac, women’s rugby who, despite Penny tapped home after a and Bojanglez found the St. helmet. However, this almost crushing his wind- who despite not playing leaving half an hour earlier, storming run down the pitch. Trinian’s girls celebrating in seemed to make the GK pipe. Luckily after a few joined in on the ensuing fes- didn’t arrive until half an hour 2-1. some style for the third week more determined to termi- choky coughs he could tivities. after us (“...and do the pelvic The rest of the game was pret- running despite having nate our strikers and he exe- breathe again but was obvi- thru-uu-u-u-uust...”) ty uneventful but was accom- Samuelson turning up at 3am cuted a swift shoulder barge ously unfit to play. Shearer’s Fred Loppy (Cliff) panied lyrically, and with like a lost puppy (eager for propelling me into the stick was not made of the See Dictionary Corner From kick-off, Surrey took such a beautiful voice, by the oats?) and the all too real pos- control of the game and it Nottingham bird squealing sibility of walking sheepishly wasn’t long before Biri ‘CUM ON SUURREA’, who across campus on Thursday scored a beautiful goal in the Cakey doesn’t think has an morning looking for all the top right corner to take us into accent. “Who said that?”, world like a drunken extra the lead. Following this “Cakey”, “Sorry WHO said from an early ‘Carry On’ strike, despite several warn- that?” “Cakey”, “Sorry, slapstick comedy sketch. ings from the Horn of Fog, WHO said that?”, Cakey”, NINE!Foghorn and Bitch we briefly lost our ‘CON- “Sorry, WH...you get the pic- (See Dictionary Corner) BUSA Results 11/11 USSU Enemy Us Them Football 1st v South Bank (H) 3 5 Football 2nd v So’ton Ins.(H) 2 3 Football 3rd v Reading(A) 1 5 Football 4th v Brighton(A) 0 5 W.Football 1st v So’ton Ins. (A) 2 1 Badminton (M)1st v Brunel WL(A) Badminton (M) 2nd v South Bank(H) Walkover BRUCIE’S CHRISTMAS BASH Badminton (W) v South Bank(H) Walkover BasketBall (M) v Portsm’th(H) 39 42 Tickets will be on sale from Christmas dinner, beer and get your ticket early to avoid Fencing (M) v Portsm’th (A) Walkover Saturday 21st November from Surrey cocktail deals, a variety disappointment. Contact Cliffy Golf v Brunel WL(A) 5 1 Paul Cliff at the Varsity Centre of entertainments, Club raffle on G. 457248 or 0403 719696 Hockey (M)1st v following the days games. The and the Stitch Up Awards cere- for more information. evening includes a three course mony. Always a good crack, Hockey (M)2nd v Sussex(H) 5 0 Hockey (W)1st v Brnmouth(H) 9 1 Dictionary Corner vidual, lacking in any dignity sports reports, as opposed to Hockey (W)2nd v Reading(A) 0 12 or self-belief; more con- being on disk or E-mail, for Netball 1st v So’ton Ins.(H) 46 28 bounder (baunde’) n. sl. a temptible than the most noto- me to type up all bloody Netball 2nd v Brighton(A) 12 50 morally reprehensible per- rious of criminals. Someone afternoon. But more than Rugby 1st v son. capable of perpetrating an this, so much more than this; Rugby 2nd v cad (kad) n. someone who action that deserves single to slyly hand it in to someone W.Rugby v So’ton Ins. (A) 0 125 does not behave in a gentle- handedly to bring about the else to give to me, in order to Squash (M) 1st v Sussex (H) 5 0 manly conduct towards oth- return of capital punishment escape my boiling fury, Squash (M) 2nd v ers. in all it’s 16th century knowing that after a cuppa Squash (W) v Portsm’th (A) scoundrel (skaundrel) n. a Spanish Inquisition glory, for and a packet of Wheat Volleyball (M) v St.Marys(H) Walkover worthless or villainous per- those of you, highlighted in Crunch I’d type it anyway. Volleyball (W) v Reading(A) 0 3 son. this weeks edition, who are You bastards. Tennis (M) v Kingston(A) 2 4 any of the above n. a low, so cunningly duplicitous as to Tennis (W) v Brighton(A) 0 6 shifty, morally bankrupt indi- hand in hard copies of your