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Sunday, December 4, 2005 Style S Many Happy Returns Dave Barry’s Holiday Guide to Gifts That They’ll Never EVER Forget

By Dave Barry that person will be much less likely Miami Herald to want to exchange gifts with you in the future. Every item in the Hol- Hark . . . do you hear that iday Gift Guide is a real product sound? It’s the radio, playing that is actually for sale. We have “Frosty the Snowman!” For the purchased all of these items and eighth or ninth time today! And subjected them to our rigorous that thud in the yard? Why, that’s field-testing procedure, which con- Dad, falling off the ladder while at- sists of giving them to Raul the tempting to hang fake icicles from photographer and sending him out the roof. And if you listen really, into the field to take funny pictures really hard, you can hear, softly in of them. After that, we don’t know the distance, the sounds of shop- what happens to them, and we pers trading punches over parking frankly don’t care. spots at the mall. No doubt about it: The holidays are here! This is See BARRY, D6, Col. 1 not your ordinary gift guide, the kind that features gifts that some- body might actually want or use. The gifts in this guide were select- Kiss Celebriducks, ed because they meet a very strict Poop-Freeze, the Animated criterion, which is that when we Stress Turtle, a sinking saw the item advertised, we said to Titanic model: Really, you ourselves: “Are they serious?” The shouldn’t have! idea is, if you give one of these items to somebody on your list,

BY PATTERSON CLARK — THE WASHINGTON POST Fear Factory

By Linton Weeks . . . train wrecks-famines-pestilence-ice Washington Post Staff Writer The Next National storms-global warming! Deadly parade bal- loons! he battle against terror has even Calamity: An Attack, This is a land in lockdown. Seventy years come to little Ridgely, a quiet game- ago, President Franklin D. Roosevelt told board of a town (pop. 1,400) on the And It Comes Right the country: The only thing we have to fear is Eastern Shore of Maryland. It has fear itself. Today, we are told to fear every- Tstreet names like Park, Railroad, Sunrise and thing but fear itself, which we embrace with Sunset. It is pretty far from everywhere. After the Word ‘Panic’ widespread arms, outstretched hands and an City police recently installed three sleek open wallet. We treat fear like Caesar victori- white surveillance cameras, paid for by a Terrorism. Weapons of mass destruction. ous. We allow fear into our homes, our homeland security grant. Two, mounted on Bird flu. Hurricanes. Sex offenders. New and heads, our hearts. We build whole industries the front of the three-story Victorian man- terrible forms of cancer. Sexually transmit- around it. sion that is the town hall, keep a cross-eyed ted diseases. Alzheimer’s. Crystal meth labs. Let’s admit it: We are living in Fraidy Cat vigil up and down Central Avenue. The third Lawsuits. Prison breaks! Female suicide Nation. peers down over the door of the police sta- bombers! Wildfires! Identity theft! Terrifying If you are a girl, you’ll be abducted! If you tion, which is on the back side of town hall. toys! Falling branches! Insurance fraud! Kill- are a boy, you’ll be molested! If you are a “You can’t ever tell,” says Police Chief er cold weather! Searing heat! Flash floods tourist, you’ll be robbed! ILLUSTRATION BY MARTHA WRIGHT — Merlin Evans, 59. Terrorists just might pass . . . exploding gas tanks . . . erupting volca- This never-ending barrage of warnings THE WASHINGTON POST; PHOTOS BY RAUL RUBIERA — MIAMI HERALD through Ridgely on their way to a bigger tar- noes . . . capsizing boats . . . devastating ty- get, he says. phoons . . . wild emergency plane landings See SCARED, D2, Col. 1 For a Former LIFE IS SHORT | Autobiography as Haiku

Panther, Solidarity y son asks once again whether After the Storm MI will drive him the quarter-mile to By Michelle Garcia school, though it’s Washington Post Staff Writer beautiful outside. “My backpack is so heavy!” NEW ORLEANS — Malik Rahim, a granddaddy with a he complains, and I broad face and long gray dreadlocks, leans across his wooden have to admit, a sixth- kitchen table and with a low Nawlins growl lets you know grade backpack weighs what he thinks local pols did for racial harmony. a ton. I am about to re- “I’m far from being a Republican, but I got to call it the mind him of the miles I way it is,” he says. “They had a shoot-to-kill order on African trekked, on skis, in Americans in this city with an African American mayor.” snow, to school each He catches himself. day growing up in Can- BY KATHERINE FREY — THE WASHINGTON POST “Let me rephrase that: A so-called African American may- ada, when I think of all he’s been through, these last few years: or and a so-called African American police chief. They sat the divorce, the move, my working more. here and allowed this governor to declare martial law on Af- BY LUCIAN PERKINS — THE WASHINGTON POST I make him walk to school. But I forgo the history lesson. rican Americans.” ometimes when he gets excited, he flaps his arms uncontrollably. People may Kayle Simon In the days after Katrina drowned the city, Rahim, 58, sat stare, but I see a boy ready to take flight. Sometimes, even when the boy with Clarksville on his front porch in Algiers, a working-class district of bun- Sbrilliant eyes of blue cannot see me, I think the soul within recognizes me. He is galows, churches and smokestacks that lies across the Mis- my nephew, Jack. He’s autistic. Some do not understand the brilliance that swirls in Find a way to give insight into your life in under 100 sissippi River from downtown New Orleans, and watched his head — a Jackson Pollock canvas in the brain. I, however, see the maestro in all words. Authors of selected entries will be notified and paid mostly white militias patrol the streets with rifles and pistols. his colors. And even in a diagnosis that weighs on us, all anger and frustration can be $100. Send text (accompanied by a home phone number) Then came the National Guard, carrying their M-16s, and easily removed with a single, beautiful giggle. via e-mail ([email protected]), fax (202-334-5587) Gov. Kathleen Blanco’s order to “shoot and kill” the “hood- Kathryn DeVito or mail (Style, Life Is Short, 1150 15th St. NW, lums.” McLean Washington, D.C. 20071).

See ACTIVIST, D7, Col. 1

THE STYLE INVITATIONAL RELIABLE SOURCE Panda Pulitzers: Black and white and read all over |D3 How to Move a Fruitcake, and a ASK AMY Getting over an imperfect “perfect” relationship |D6 Mulligan Stew of the KIDSPOST Make an ornament at the National Building Museum | D8 » Past 100 Weeks |D2 TODAY’S HOROSCOPE, D3 · MISS MANNERS, D3 · PERSONALS PLUS, D4-5 · BRIDGE, D6 DAILY 12-04-05 MD RE D7 BLACK

The Washington Post STYLE R Sunday, December 4, 2005 D7 The Conscience of a Post-Katrina Movement ACTIVIST, From D1

This is New Orleans, he says, where the fabric of history is woven with the likes of Jim Crow and the Dixiecrats. “Here’s that plantation mentality,” he roars. “New Orleans was a city that was ran by old mon- ey, old plantation money, so they never gave a damn about blacks.” But, a visitor across the table asks, what about the plans for re- building? The promises from New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin and Blanco to help folks, poor folks, re- claim their lives? “You can’t [urinate] down my back and tell me it’s rain,” he says, a BY NAM Y. HUH — ASSOCIATED PRESS chuckle ripping through his thick a threat to domestic security and Malik Rahim, right, has inspired a chest. “That’s what they’re doing put the group under surveillance. recovery effort in New Orleans that and they think that people won’t un- In New Orleans in 1970, the Pan- includes volunteers such as EMT Garth derstand what they’re doing. No, thers set up operations in a house Kahl, above, checking Anita Keith’s you ain’t [urinating] on me.” next to the bleak, sprawling public blood pressure at a mobile clinic. Some people might dismiss Ra- housing complex named Desire. him as another angry black man in Throughout the Lower Ninth Ward, these conditions do exist. The de- New Orleans. Or conclude he’s just pocked with poverty, neglect and monization of young African Amer- another aging former Black Panther thugs, the young men and women in icans is unjust and we can make a with an abundance of Southern their berets earned the admiration change,” he says, then pauses, con- gumption. You might even acknowl- of many by chasing away the drug siders his words and adds: “Not one edge some truth in the reasoning of- dealers. They offered social services that is based upon overthrowing fered up by Blanco’s spokesman, — free breakfasts and tutoring pro- anything.” Denise Bottcher, who notes that al- grams. COMMON GROUND COLLECTIVE though a lot of the reports of vio- “They really started doing what lence turned out to be overblown, the establishment was not,” says “there was lawlessness,” and “at the Bob Tucker, then a young aide to time and place you have to respond Mayor Moon Landrieu who now to protect people’s lives.” Race, she owns an engineering firm. “When says, played no part in the gover- you look at what the Ninth Ward nor’s actions. was, you have urban renewal, which The stone-cold reality for Rahim was really urban removal, and Hur- is that his spare bedrooms and the ricane Betsy,” a Category 4 storm parlor are now stuffed with about a that had ravaged the area five years dozen portable generators and trail- before. er-size tents cover his back yard to But there were tensions and sus- 1 DAY ONLY house a slew of idealistic, mostly picions. Local police eyed the mil- white, young people. itants warily. Rahim, a Green Party candidate On Sept. 14, 1970, the Panthers SUNDAY, DEC. 4 • EARLY OPENING for City Council in 2002, is the nu- unmasked two undercover cops. 7AM cleus of Common Ground Collec- The police claimed they were beat- tive, a grass-roots recovery effort of en. The next day, when police de- volunteers parachuting into the city scended on the Panthers’ headquar- from points across the nation. Ra- ters, a 30-minute gun battle broke him’s late mother’s home, which out. One bystander, shot by police, survived the storms intact, has be- died. come the epicenter of the effort to Police arrested Rahim, then the deliver water, food, ice and medical chapter’s defense minister, and 13 care to the city’s poorest. other Panthers. Most were charged BUY ONE, GET ONE Common Ground volunteers in with attempted murder. search of a bare-knuckles approach As Rahim and other Panthers sat and a movement to inspire them in jail on $1.5 million bond, their meet up with those who have lost comrades squared off with police in patience waiting for officialdom to what became known as the Show- * help them. More than 300 volun- down in Desire. A bloody denoue- teers have cycled through the ment loomed — until hundreds of house. Before Thanksgiving, cara- public housing residents filed out of vans with even more volunteers set their homes and stood between the out for the South to participate in a police and the Panthers, forming a massive holiday rebuilding effort. human shield. A court later acquit- Doctors from New York, San ted Rahim and the Panthers. Francisco and Indonesia canvass the With the Panther Party dissolv- neighborhoods, some on bicycles, ing in New Orleans, he bolted to San % offering front-porch medicine for Francisco, served five years in pris- those who can’t make it to the 24- on for armed robbery and devoted hour clinic the group runs at a three decades to prisoner and pov- mosque. Labor crews hammer blue erty rights causes, converting to Is- tarps onto the roofs, the post-Katri- lam in 1989. Just a few years ago, he na emblem of survival. Volunteers returned to the South to care for his live and work at food distribution mother before she passed away. centers in some of the poorest sec- Within some circles Rahim is re- tions of New Orleans. vered as a voice of consciousness, if Jonathan Arend, 32, a medical not some good old rabble-rousing, off resident at Montifiore Hospital in says Tucker, who became chairman the Bronx, rushed back to his home- of the city’s transit system. Beneath town two days before Hurricane the provocative rhetoric, Rahim is a 50 Rita doled out even more punish- man driven by “a heart the size of ment. Arend recalled that locals New Orleans,” says Tucker, who or- ENTIRE STOCK ENTIRE STOCK ENTIRE STOCK such as Swampwater Jack, who ganized an anti-violence effort with lives across the street from the clin- him a few years ago. OF TOYS OF TRIM-A-TREE OF SMALL ic, stayed away from the medical “He talks about race because race centers with National Guardsmen is alive and well in the city and the Choose from our huge selection Artificial trees, holiday wrap and APPLIANCES stationed out front and instead pre- country; he doesn’t talk about it of thousands of name brand toys! boxed cards, ornaments, lights, ferred to have his asthma checked at from the standpoint of a victim,” (Dept. 71) outdoor lighted decor and more! Coffeemakers, griddles, toasters, home, where he could show off pho- Tucker says. (Dept. 64) irons, roasters, vacuum cleaners tos of the gators he had shot down After New Orleans rumbled with Video games not included. and more! in the bayou. unrest in the chaotic days after Ka- 6-ft. airblown snowglobes not included. “There was so many bizarre sets trina, Rahim unleashed his outrage (Dept. 62) of circumstances and unnatural and in an essay in the San Francisco Bay outlandish things that were going View, an African American online on,” says Arend. “The fact that you weekly. “This is criminal,” he began, see a white guy riding a bicycle in a and concluded with “You don’t want white coat and stethoscope was just to see black people live.” The edi- ENTIRE STOCK ENTIRE STOCK ENTIRE STOCK part of the mix.” tors circulated his fiery words Sam Zellman doesn’t mention among community radio programs OF GLASSWARE, OF HOLIDAY OF FURNITURE race as he pours lighter fluid into his and activist groups. Within days vol- Zippo and flips it shut inches away unteers began appearing at Rahim’s DINNERWARE & MOTIF HOME Bookcases, dining sets, from his blond Mohawk. A burly door. game tables, chairs, man, Zellman ditched his job at a And this time, says Rahim, the FLATWARE ACCENTS Sauder® furniture and more! restaurant in Paw Paw, Mich., to solidarity that defused rising racial Tablecloths, accent pillows, (Dept. 69) haul refrigerators and trash from tensions was white. “If it wasn’t for Dinner and beverage sets, damaged houses. the work the courageous young men flatware sets, ceramic serving kitchen towels, bath accessories, Easy assembly required on some items. “Sitting at work making food for and women are doing here in New pieces and more! rugs, baskets and more! yuppies and listening to it on NPR Orleans, we would be in it,” he says, (Dept. 68) (Dept. 05, 52, 56, 57, 60) — after a couple of days of this I’m scanning the volunteers lounging in like, I gotta come down,” says Zell- his back yard. “Because that’s what man, who spent a month at the col- stopped it, when they start seeing *Item at 50% off must be of equal or lesser value than item at regular price and must be from same category of merchandise. lective after he gave up on being de- young whites sitting on my porch Quantities limited to stock on hand, no rainchecks. No prior sales. Selection varies by store. ployed by the Red Cross. “Some of protecting me.” us want a better world, and this is Rahim strolls across the front TAKE AN EXTRA kinda pushing on the rock together. porch on a sultry evening looking If it’s us, or anarchists or the church for a meeting of his lieutenants, EXTRA SAVINGS ON • LADIES’ • MEN’S folks, we have common goals, com- laughing and joking. Instead he runs % • CHILDREN’S • SHOES mon short-term goals.” into a newlywed couple from the Inside the kitchen, Rahim traces neighborhood who dropped by to CLEARANCE 40off • HOME • MORE this mobilization to an era of resis- say goodbye before a young soldier PURPLE TAG CLEARANCE tance and rebellion. ships off to Iraq. There are bear “I was trained for this,” says Ra- hugs for everyone. A long-haired Get total savings of 60% to 75% and more** off dept. store prices. him, his eyes intent. “I’m not doing young man follows Rahim while No prior sales. **Savings based on comparative prices nothing but what we were doing in blowing a Pan-like wooden pipe. the party,” he says. “The mold abate- Rahim has decided to run for APPLY FOR OUR CARD TODAY & SAVE! ment I had done with the pest con- mayor. There are too many poor % www.valuecity.com Take an extra 20 Off trol program. Our feeding program. people, too many African Amer- your first purchase It was part of our breakfast pro- icans too easily forgotten, he says; upon approval of your Value City gram.” his long-shot campaign is about credit card. When Rahim was in his early them. twenties and still went by the name Rahim then considers his battal- Donald Guyton, he returned from ion of mostly white volunteers and Vietnam and joined the Black Pan- his racial critique. Might this be a SPECIAL HOLIDAY HOURS 7 AM - 11 PM EVERY DAY THIS WEEK thers, a national militant liberation paradox? To which, he cues up an- movement dedicated to battling rac- other rap. •HILLCREST HEIGHTS Iverson Mall, Rt. 5 & Iverson St., Exit Beltway 7B PH:899-2383 ism and not averse to using vio- “Right now America is drunk on •GREENBELT Beltway Plaza Mall 6252 Greenbelt Rd. PH:441-9588 lence. The FBI deemed the Panthers prosperity. What we’re showing is