UNIVERSITY UNION O.G.M. 10th December

INDEPENDENT LEEDS AREA STUDENT NEWSPAPER — 1.00pm - Riley Smith Hall THATCH ER

The Prime Minister, Mrs. Mar- advised not to announce her ing fascist, you don't stand a garet Thatcher will be deliver- VISIT TOvisit until the last minute. chance of getting in." ing a speech on `Socialism - the Speculation has been growing The Conservative Party re- Cause of Britain's Decline' at in the union for some time con- fused to comment on security the Great Hall this Friday amid cerning an escalation in plans arrangements for the PM's visit angir in LUU Exec. that the for external security officers but LUCE President Kevin Shute event has not been publicised and this, linked with the recent called it, "hoodwinking the puh- REPORT BY JOANNE WATKINS until this week as a security discussions among vice- lie" and "making a mockery of measure. chancellors on free speech oil free speech." As a result of violent out- campus has put a focus on the bursts from students at Man- turmoil surrounding the invita- chester University. where Home tion of controversial speakers to The Prime Minister's speech Affairs Minister, David Wad- the university. begins at 5.00 p.m. and a dington was punched and spat Like Mr. Brittan's visit, Mrs. vociferous picket, coupled with upon recently, and the security Thatcher's talk has an 'anyone a large police presence is ex- row surrounding Leon Brittan's welcome' clause but as Paul pected to produce heated visit to Leeds University, two Brannen, LUU Anti-Apartheid clashes in the wake of recent weeks ago. Mrs. Thatcher was Sec. said, "If you're not a rav- events. Rugby Shock There was uproar at last weeks Thursday bop when the LUU Rugby Club, after their customary 2K pints. failed to go on the LEEDS EXEC'S rampage in the union extension. Roberto Mafiosi, head of Ens. Security, said from his hideaway in Sicily that he has no idea why these mature students are unable to act as they are expected. He cited several examples of what the Rugby Club had failed to do.: BLOWN UP 1. They did not LICK spilt beer from each other's groins. They did not WOBBLE on tables SINGING 'Smooth In an attempt to forge stronger it easier to recognise the execu- dent body; by a scientifically 2. ties between Union Executive tive, and therefore find them analysed method of dress asso- Operator'. They did not WEAR those hideous V-neck jumpers. members and the rest of the more approachable. ciation. 3. They did not SAY 'Hello love. any chance?' to every student body in Leeds, moves However, critics of the For example. Rob Minshull, 4. passing female over the age of twelve, are afoot to have inflatable scheme were quick to come for- LUU General Secretary will be They did not drop their trousers and EXPOSE their dummies of all the sabbatical ward. Frank Horvath. LUU dressed all in red to represent 5_ plonkers to everyone in the Tetley Bar. members of the Poly and the treasurer complained that the his political leanings, Frank Club Captain, Charles Devonshire-Hall, a medical stu- Uni manufactured. cost of £ I5,000 for the dummies Horvath will be dressed all in dent, was not eager to comment but even he said that he was was well in excess of what was. blue to represent his apparently In a joint statement released necessary to deal with the 'ashamed at what had happened'. The felling in Exec. is past political leanings. and Officer, on Wednesday, Poly president approachability problem. he much stronger - Claire Whitely. the Union Welfare Kevin Shute will be seen car- reacted angrily to the news'. "I think it was disgusting, and I Jill Smith and Leeds University felt that this scheme was going rying a four pack of Skol. never thought I'd see the day when this sort of atrocitt would Union president Kevin Shute 'to blow it all out of propor- However. news comes this happen. I was shocked, and I was especially disappointed not revealed that the plan was to tion'. week from sources close to the have the inflatables filled with Jill Smith however felt that executive, that the idea is not to see their plonkers." The case continues. helium and raised above the no amount of money was too original. buildings of the respective un- small. if it meant raising the Apparently some students ions so that students would find profile of executive members, have had inflatable dummies of HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL The brightly coloured exec. Kevin Shute and Jill Smith members hope to be airborne stored away in their bedrooms OUR WONDERFUL READERS by the beginning of next term. for at least the past six months . The inflatables will be attired in The reason was not disclosed. SEE YOU NEXT TERM a way that will make them in- Jay Raver INSIDE stantly recognisable to the stu- BYEEE P S corn s ete CUT OUT CHRISTMASSY THINGS ON Yuletide MOST PAGES - BUT WITH SOME EXEC MEMBERS WHATS ON SERIOUS BITS TOO FREE PAGE 11 (Centre pages) Page 2 BEHIND THE SCENES AT

THEUs hard workingLEE hacks down at the shouldgo in this week's issue.511 Finally the Photography Editor[NI Leeds Student, infused with the "Exec herpes outbreak -. or arrives. talking about 'beautiful Christmas spirit, stuffed with mince "student attacked by vicious youth experiences' on Woodhouse Moor. pies. goodwill to all persons and wedding sharpened canisters of but without a print to run on the desperate to go to the toilet, have Johnson's Baby Powder". The front page. He gets the staff to pose decided to give ,ou the lucky reader Editor is snoring peacefully in the as rampant youths attacking an a glance behind the scenes. Come one comfortable chair we've got. OAP on the road outside. What a along on a Magical Mystery Tour of (You bastard - not true Ed.). scoop! intrigue and enlightenment, as we The Arts Editor, still hanging As the evening comes to an end, take you behind the scenes at the around from last night. drops his the staff speculate on what an Leeds Student . . second tab of acid, and has his third indispensable publication the identity crisis of the week. "Why Leeds Student really is. What a And it's Monday. the rain drips am I here? What's it all about? good feeling they have inside. down through the trees, and the Does anybody read what I write? knowing another week's writing is typewriters heaver away in the And why are the desks eating my eagerly awaited by those outside. offices. Jonny Keats completes his left feet?" he mumbles to himself. The Leeds Student: possibly the third sonnet sequence, sinks his He hates all the reviews he's been most important publication this • The new student hack-wear - • Helen Slingsby confronts the fourth bottle of Napoleon, and given, and so rewrites them all in new X-27 typewriter, with optional side of Turnip-Grafters Week- Paisley tie, with matching sewn on starts tc type his column out on the phase - in moustache and blades. 'psychedelic-speak'. Like, intense. lr flared bicycle coffee machine. children. The Features Editors are writing Wednesday: the day the pages go 'in depth' interviews with each to press. Outside a storm rolls. other pretending to be well known Gorbachev and Reagan are personalities. The Editor is snoring engaged in hand to hand combat peacefully in the corner, and the just outside; Margaret Thatcher is Music Editor has spilt coffee over in the toilet slicing her wrists and his pages. "Wow, what amazing espousing the virtues of socialism. design. friend," he says. Pity no whilst the roof is swarming with one s typed out their reviews. -I security officers. desperate to know: we'll have a competition to protect the visiting Paul Newman fill up the space . ." and Robert de Niro; the lead story Tuesday falls: wading into the concerns the misuse of the union office through rejected features on car park's toilet by prominent sprocket-making, corner shops. members of the Buddhist foot maintenance and toilet • Denture shock) Mouths ru -rial Brotherhood_ The Editor is asleep as music staff express opinion of J technology, we see the News on the pile of rejected 'Foresight' & M Chain gig. Editor fighting over what stories openings on the floor. • Student mobility: we're getting there says Carl.

Snipperfield Workers THE TRAVEL BUREAU Wish everyone a very LEEDS Tel: 784765 BRADFORD 721527 P.S. Book your sleigh ride to merry Chrimbo! Wish everyone a see Santa NOW!!! Very Happy Christmas!! ( ifPf fi.... ..e- , _kj1-- (=:-I- HAIR SEASON'S GREETINGS LEEDS PERMANENT Irvin & the rest of the (until 14th December) staff would like to wish from MERRY all L.S. readers a N LEEDS PLAYHOUSE ,o e k CHRISTMAS TO Very Happy Christmas Calverley Street 442111 , All Our Customers Tel: 789214 HAPPY CHRISTMAS and The The CRAFT & GOOD LISTENING from ALL AT THE SOUND WHOLEFOOD DESIGN CENTRE '82 ODHOLS2USE ■■ (under Leeds City Art Gallery) ORGANISATION, SHOP WOLANE. 1 HOPE ALL LEEDS ■For the best hi-fi Would like to wish all Leeds STUDENT READERS equipment including:- YORK Student readers a Merry LINN, MAIM, REGA, CREEK HAVE A FANTASTIC I etc and Bargain TDK tapes Christmas and a Prosperous Open 10am-6ptn Mon-Sat CHRISTMAS 36 Gillygate. York. Tel: 0904-21108 New Year LUU BOOKSHOP PARAPHERNALIA CROSSWORD LEEDS STUDENT Charity 'Oxfam' and 'Help ' 1.The best bibliopole in town (1,1,1,8) Christmas Cards ... 2. You get three of these in fairy tales (6) 3. Or nothing? (3) WOULD LIKE TO at PARAPHERNALIA 4. Tail end of sixty minutes (3) 166 Woodhouse Lane — .. 5.Are they al- Opp. I' I w_ right? (9) — 6a.yPolltelyolitelyt? pissed WISH ALL OUR Leeds 454472 (5) 7. Replaced the MERRY CHRISTMAS t' winter solstice I i celebration (9) ADVERTISERS 1, 8.As well as (3} '42=b4 — 9. (t5h) e , seven 10. Freshly pissed A VERY HAPPY WHARFE . ' ‘ as one before tea (3 , STREET CAFE6* 11.When new it's students run In (4) CHRISTMAS would like to wish all A HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A I SEE YOU NEXT MERRY MEATLESS NEW YEAR! Look f orward to seeing yOU TERM at the cafe next term Phone: 449588 1" 1 1 -- Page 3

Dear Editor After reading last weeks issue I felt compelled to write. Yours sincerely Frank Horvath

live, in my formative years when my hooves were coming to budoops that was a giveaway. Actually I don't have any hooves - I was just adding that Dear Ms. been for the Fact that he tried to for effect, hoping that you might I don't think you do enough breast feed me; a rather embar- give me some support in my for the oppressed amongst us. rassing experience all round, years of troubles but what was I Take me for example. When I not only because I was fifteen at to expect from such a gutter • Winter on Woodhouse Moor was undergoing my childhood I the time, but also because he ridden, filth covered journal as Dear Very Depressed of we will be celebrating, (rather discovered my father was a wasn't up to the job and had to your own, so you can just all Wetherby Zoo. (Dobbin) syncretistically) the birth of a woman, which apart from being give up halfway through which p*** off and none of you can man called Jesus who not only was rather a disappointment for rather disturbing for myself was have any of my straw because Very rarely do I have a com- fulfilled this prophecy. but also sole destroying for my mother all those involved. it's all mine and the head keeper pulsion to reply to one of my fulfilled all the other 300 or so Add to that the fact that my who up to then had been under said I needn't share it with any- humble flock, however. your parts of the Pentateuch. brother thought he was a zebra, the illusion that she had married one else if I didn't want to, so story has a certain pathetic prophets' writings. taken to he and the fact that my sister was a one of (the just hog off. quality that warrants some re- Messianic prophecies. zebra and you'll see what sort of rolling stones from Southend of Yours very depressed sponse. Happy Christmas. course - a renowned Hells problems I've had to put up Well love. I really do think Dobbin, Dave Hellam Angels chapter in that district). with, not that I blame you of Equine enclosure you ought toget your little life I could have handled this sex- course, except I feel you could Wetherby Zoo. sorted out and the first thing is have been a little more suppor- Dear Editor, ual identity crisis, if it hadn't P.S. WHY don't you do a fea- that you stop being so bloody Ok, ok, so I've had a few ture on corner shop owners in selfish - how dare you say can't have any of your straw, I problems this term, but I'm the Hyde Park area? They're over that now. The Tetley Bar even more oppressed than I am. only want a hit - it's alright for you, tucked up in your cosy that was is nothing to me, the little pen where all, you have to Hyde Park is a thing of the past, do is eat, sleep and s*** all day. and even though I can't wear Why don't you think of some- my pink vellum trousers in the body other than yourself for a Sky rack anymore, I'm change, me for example: toy TOGETHER AGAIN. mother was a wombat and do I Yes, the sky is bright, the sun complain? No I don't and I is out, the little birds are tweety- certainly don't hog all my tweeting in the park, and my straw. Cuban Heels are shining in the The likes of you have got to sunlight. I had a pint of snake- realise that I don't just sit in my bite in the Union, and though I office praying for people to spilt it down my ruffled shirt. I come in to write a message in didn't mind a bit. As the alcohol the personal column nor do I raced through my system. I surreptitiously pick up the re- raced to the juke-box, and put ceiver of the phone. place it to Cilia Black's 'Long Haired Lov- in) car and pretend to talk in to er' over the speakers, and wild- it - just to look busy. They're all ly gyrated in time to the chorus lies. lies. lies... and I for one am on the conveniently placed pav- holeheartedly sick of them. ing stones. So please. 1, cry Depressed of Just as I was getting into 'it' Wetherby, do me a favour if (mean). this 611., burgundy clad you don't mind and pop down beer-gut staggered over to to Hyde Park corner and fetch where I was strutting my stuff, me a gross of valium. Ta Pet. and grabbed my arm. Rather perturbed at such rough treat- I.nve Ms. ment, (and rather diseeqicerted at the creases been pulled in my Dear Leeds Student sepia slee%e supporters) I I must take exception to the paused a while. "1 ou big bot- (hopefully ) satirical letter in the tomed toilet ticker' he shouted, last Leeds Student concerning and rammed his fist down my the identification of a certain throat, causing me to stagger conservative student as 'the somewhat, and fall into the pool Messiah'. He is not the Messiah of vomit he subsequently depo- (he's a very naughty boy). by sited on the floor. Therefore I virtue of not (1 assume) being hayed swallowed six rugby play- horn of a virgin (see Isaiah ers. 7.14. Matthew 1.23 etc). Yours in flatulence, In a matter of days. however. Algernon • New traffic signals ease congestion on Otley Road Rachel Smith Paul Greco Bill Davis Ashley Tabony Andrew Hulme I. Edwards Matt Tee Jeff Marsh Clive Ford Dawn Thewliss Sebastian Melmoth Matthew Flintoff Nina Nanna Stephen Kenneds EDITOR Jane Bookbinder Tim Tooher Jan Proctor Francis Maguire Helen Slingsby. Adrian Campbell Matt Waller Dave Pavell P Roscoe Sarah Carroll ARTS ARTS EDITOR Ann Sedivy K. Stuart Carl Hindmarch. William Cooper Graham Alock Jim Brooke Steve Walsh Victoria Smith FEATURES EDITORS Sue Cocker FEATURES M. Thomas Justin Hunt Catherine Cuthbert Emma Batha Baz Arden Mark Walker Jay Rayner Jane Duckett Sally Chesworth Anne Cooke Tommy Hutchinson Mike Yardley John Tague Anne Golding Robert Gubas Matthew Cole Dave Hampson PHOTOGRAPHY MUSIC EDITORS Paul Crask Deb Lyttleton Baz Arden Nigel Holtby Greg Heaton Chris Hill Nick Cull Becky Marsh Roger Bull Gordon Taylor Robert Coup Chris Hunter Chris Ellwell Rob Minshull NEWS EDITORS Mandy Kelly Ruth Jones Watkin Morgan Sweyn Hunter Paul Morgan Keith Langley Vanessa Jones Guy Noakes Jeremy Larkins Joanna Walters Ann-Marie Levan Alison Padley Kimberly Porter Graham Lumley SPORTS EDITOR Catriona Marchant Jill Stewart Chris Valentine Marcus Lyon Gavin Stoddart Linda Milnes MUSIC Robert Unwin Christina Lysk Martin Milner PHOTO EDITOR Zoe Osborne Phil Allen SPORT Guilliana Molinari Stephen Robinson Justin Owen Vernon Chance T. Barnett Tony Woolgar NEWS REPORTERS John Plastow Tim Difford T. Bishop Simon Anderson Penny Richards Ritchie Ellis Brian Cranville CARTOONS Michael Ball Wendy Robbins Mark Goodwin Andrew Duxbury M. Danphy Page 4 ARTS • GOON •

FORESIGHT Well, here I am down in the office. Typewriter oiled. bottle of scotch by my side and twenty big country cigarettes in ii pocket and you eagerly await- mg another cliche ridden romp IL it Iirk through the week ahead. To tell • The ramous gravediggers scene from Shakespeare's least known recently revived work - Goonies you the truth 1 can't be bothered. Those wasted hnurs ABC FILM CENTRE diana Jones and the Temple of family of counterfeiters they dis- therapy equal to a year at the of research and painful deli- Take six affluent sons and Doom without the sickening vio- cover the films big mistake - analyst. Emerging from their beration that go into the prepa- daughters of the revolution, one lence and overt racism and sex- supposedly deformed 'after' cathartic experience they be- ration of this column each week respectable ethnic representa- ism GooMes comes under the from a Charles Atlas advert, come mature well adjusted will be spared me tonight. tive. add just under forty mil- heading of good, clean fun for looking rather like an actor with members of the land of the free. lion dollars and the name of all the family. a lump of plasticine on his head. No doubt you're sitting there Steven 'Mogul' Spielberg and The plot, for what it's worth. Predictably enough this monster Snide comments apart. this is right now. sipping your coffee you've gut one hour and fifty concerns this aforementioned is tamed by the love of one of the a sound childrens film - smiling knowingly, to your four minutes of non-stop adven- group of lovable products of the children, and helps them escape although I really doubt whether neighbours and thinking that ture and protestant work ethic. fast food industry and their from the clutches of the counter- the petrol bomb conscious kids this is some kind of whacky One day all these lovable chil- feiting Fratelli family. efforts to locate some long for- of today are as naive as Spiel- joke. and that any minute now dren will become filthy rich gotten treasure trove and save While underground in this berg and the film executives im- I'm going to recommend the Coleridgian fantasy the Goonies lawyers and bank managers but their home town from the bull- agine. Playhouse in preference to the for the time being they are free dozers of the developers. experience the most incredible Hyde Park, or point out some to tomp around an underground They break into an 'aban- time of their lives, discover one amazing piece of theatre com- adventure park. Rather like In- doned' house, and along with a another and undergo a course of Carl Hindmarch ing to the Poly. Well don't. This week you won't even have to pretend to he interested G E NIUS PANNED in the vaguely cultural, dare CLIFFHANGER THEATRE a talent tar too precious. and ingentin:i 1:1-1E GRAND THEATRE say it difterent happenings of 'OH HUMANS' tar too advanced for the tube. Driscoll the forthcoming week. Not that The time has come (and I for one was and Haase's construction is something As Christmas hastens upon us we find most of you have ever worked doubtful it ever would) when I have of real value. Its mechanism (awesome- ourselves, once again, with those festive treats out whether this column is at all nothing but praise and admiration with ly intricate), ticks over at double time. taken out of storage and lovingly restored for serious or merely one long piss which to fill this weeks column. If only I mesmerising the audience into a gidd our delight. This time around, there seems to take. After all. it doesn't really be a surefeit of pleasure in that classic rework- could compose myself. Cliffhanger left rapture. matter does it The religious me gurgling like a baby. All I can do is To put you in the picture. Dougie and ing of the Oedipus myth. 'Peter Pan', what attendance at the late night film to smugly reflect upon the delights Micky, unregistered at birth. have lived, with the cartoon, the panto and this fah shows is not due to any discern- offered by Robin Driscoll and Tony men and boys. in their 'den' above the extravaganza at The Grand. ment on the part of you eager Haase in their self-styled 'hilariously transvestite club run by their mother. punters. but a mindless herd Suspend your disbelief while Bonnie Lang- tragic comedy'. They can leave the den only as Barbara instinct that does the done ford and friends suspend themselves from the Emerging from my reverie. I spare a and Janet. the barmaids, t hough. Dougie thing. but hasn't the nerve to ceiling. Snuggle down into the plush seats and pitying thought for all of you who mis- insists, that if it came to it. he would be try something different. I'm get into sword fights galore, aerie! acrobatics, sed Cliffhanger's bonanza showboat. capable of doing the shopping, "given a sure the world will he a better wobbly-voiced songs, cuddly ticking croco- Thankfully. there was a young audience list and a map." The boys' adventure place without independent diles, in fact, all the usual panto parapherna- there to witness this demonstration of games are disrupted when Barbara falls films, theatre and music - I can lia plus live accompaniment thrown in for free what 'off-beat' comedy. despite the cur- for Dougie. but Janet doesn't think already here the multi-nationals from the pit. rent post-Atkinson/Mayall doldrums. much of Micky (with me so far?). so rubbing their hands. and the can achieve. Micky. in a fit of Barbara's rage. runs bar managers sweating in eager Any addict of pre-pubescent fiction worth TV comedy is inevitably a step or two off with Dougie's imaginary Dutch girl- anticipation. their salt will he well aware of the ins and outs behind the stage. It seems to have a friend.., Still reading. Still lost as to of Never Never Land, so I'll spare you those knack of reshaping 'alternatives' into The portrayal of these addled schi- what the hell I'm talking about, details, at least. burnt-out has-beens_ Not so however zoid minds is masterful. With an ever- you will never understand. The with Cliffhanger. Perhaps you remem- present backdrop of sound effects in- An enjoyable performance and well worth absurd, born of the confronta- ber their series screened by Channel 4 dulging the duo's fantasies, and a won- regressing to the days of your lost childhood in tion between the human need last summer, "They Came From Some- derfully designed labyrinthine and ram- the congenial surroundings of The Grand. and the unreasonable silence of where Else". Running alongside 'NOT!' shackle set, Driscoll and Haase's comic the world. is the only way left. and 'the Comic Strip'. Cliffhanger may gem is made all the more enchanting. The atmosphere evoked by this particular Canned art has proved a far have been. in many minds. tarred with With a film script and a new show in exploration of child psychology is so over- greater weapon than any police the same brush. Indeed. Robin Driscoll the pipeline. I'm sure that Cliffhanger whelming that by the end of the evening, you state in the pasteurising of the still works with the Beelfs Smith and will return in style. Make sure you don't too will believe a Pan can fly. A truly uplifting spirit of enquiry. The rebel died Rhys-Jones. miss out again. experience. with the refusal to say no, not Displayed in 'Oh Humans' however is V. Jones to he merely a receiver. Matthew Cole So. how many times have you seen The Blues Brothers, and how many times tried some- AB1GAILS • PARTY thing new. Go on - I dare you to THE RAN EN THEATRE be acceptable to a particular actors had avoided turning the was particular!) slick and gave take the test. open your eyes class or generation and not to pia) into a string of cliched the play coherence. The play just once. On Thursday night I was under the impression I was going to another. jokes. Unfortunately the actors culminated with the hen-pecked On the other hand, I leave Abigail's Party. In fact, I ended The play is primarily a satire did lase their credibility during Laurence dying from a heart you free to stammer, as you fall up next door at Beverley's. and on the nouveau riche - a class the dance scene. The juxtaposi- attack amidst mass panic. This onto the cigarette carpeted. enjoyed myself immensely. who sit 'on real leather settees', tion of Laurence's and Sue's could have seemed a very trite beer slopped floor. 'Well. what Whilst Abigail, a fifteen year eat with `genuine silver silver awkward waltz, Angela's fren- way of ending an unstructured could I do... Jimmy Keats didn't old punkette, and friends were plate', and put Beaujolais. pro- zied disco, and Beverley's and play, but the scene was done tell me where to go. 'Well. for getting drunk and hay ing fun nounced bow.jow laze, in the Tone's schmalzy slow was pre- with such panache and confi- those of you who've made it the adults were getting drunk fridge. Indeed Alison 13111 idge's dence that the whole audience this tar, thanks. Here's one sumably an attempt at farce - I and arguing. The cunversation set was perhaps the play's piece just found it embarrassingly was in hysterics. Leeds Student hack wishing the was mundane, but beneath the de resistance - reproduction and contrived. Whilst not the 'devastating' Arts editor gave him the chance banality the play was rich in pseudo everything - a really comedy it is reputed to he Abi- to review something, wishing On the whole, however, the social comment. LIN 'theatre nauseating clash of colours and gail's Party certainly kept the you all a merry media Christ- production was taut, and the Group whilst concentrating on styles - a masterpiece of tacki- mas and going to get something actors extracted a maximum of audience entertained, and the comedy brought out skilfully ness. to eat because I'm bloody starv- coined) and drama out of a perhaps best of all the actors The nouveau riche is a some- ing. the underlying themes; the ster- minimum of plot. Ruth Glaser's seemed to enjoy themselves as il'iy of marriage, and why cer- what obvious target for comedy, performance as an abrasive much as the audience. Jonny Keats tain codes of behaviour should so I was impressed that the nouveau riche Penelope Keith Emma Batha ARTS AN TA CL A WS HE INT E R V E W The man behind the Christmas breaking new ground in enter- No. definitely not. I mean son, so it's not a hard life." spirit, no not the managing tainment. but so many people Christ has made all the movies. Your best known record was director of Stones' Ginger pass user that period. there was the musical thing. 'Rudolph'. what exactly was Wine, but Santa Claus himself. I have many plans tor '85. but you know, and of Cc s‘' the this about? Yes here at Leeds Stupid we in no way has my appeal been hymns. All this from a man who "Well. my partner at the time managed to get a ten minute flagging. The new movie is a really only did four books be- Rudi, the reindeer, used to hit audience with this legendary fi- kind of reminder, it says like fore he died. How can l com- the brandy bottle a bit, after all gure. In between ordering the Santa is still credible in the pete... I lose money on every it is very cold at the North Pole. beers from the 'Old' Tetley Bar 1980s.- tour. gifts are no longer cheap. The record came about after I we put Santa in the hot seat. Your audience is predomi- it's a lot of work climbing down found him one dark night out of %r our new movie appears to nantly young. Do you think you chimneys, I think I've paid my his skull on the wagon. it was he an attempt to revamp a flag- can't cut it with an older audi- dues. It's not competition. dark and the only thing you ging career? Is this so? And do ence? we're after the same goals, we could see was Rudi's red nose you think this will help you gain Well I find older people too just go about things in a diffe- so I gave hint the keys to the a wider recognition for your boring, they just get bladdered rent way." sleigh and he featured heav ily work? and fall asleep, and that is no Do you ever feel picqued by in the show that year... that's Santa: "Well. Ho Ho Ho, I fun at all... I love young peo- the fact that your season only where the song came from. its think this film will be the crux ple, Ho Ho Ho, they have the fills one month of the year? a kind of travelogue." of my 1985 Revue; but really it spirit of Christmas. old people "Not really, though it's diffi- Santa went on to ask me what is an attempt to break out of the just care about mortgages. cars cult to claim unemployment be- I wanted for Christmas. and rut that has existed since the and the like, and basically that nefit for the rest of the year. then had to return to the Grotto 'Rudolph' period. I mean peo- bores me silly. The bureaucrats can't believe I to rehearse for the tour. Santa ple now don't realise that my Do you think you're taking a exist, so I do have a problem. is a perrenial feature of Christ- career has taken in so many lot of credit from Jesus Christ? but with the money coming in mas. and long may he run. angles. When I was using the The Angels? And the Wise from the movie F should be able Herbert Bottomley `Saint Nicholas' name I was Men? to move to Antigua for the sea- T R E A T S Relationships are boring unless they involve three - around the rather cramped stage were jerky, this must be the logic of the majority of playwright perhaps a sign of his barely controlled raging emo- since triangular relationships form the basis of so tions although most of the time it looked as if it was a many dramas. 'Treats' by Christopher Hampton is sign of nervousness. The spineless wimp. Patrick. (no another example of this. disrespect to Paul Byrne who played him) seemed to The action took place in the flat of Anne. An possess one 'wounded' expression - lip protruding incredibly liberated woman who seemed incapable of slightly and eyes cast mournfully down - which existing without a man to prop her up. In the one seemed to cover every eventuality offered up by the short scene when she was alone she spent the whole plot. His awkwardness became almost painful al time crying and only found solace when she reached times. The claustrophobic atmosphere of the studio for the phone and summoned a man to come and exacerbated this awkwardness which hung like a pall abuse her again - oh liberation! over the whole production. There was even hesitancy The story concerned a conceited reporter who had in announcing the interval and the lights wavered been abroad and came home to find his long- uncertainly as if the decision to take a break at this suffering girlfriend had moved his things out and point had peen taken on the spur of the moment. The installed the office bore in his place. The play showed ending was similarly ignominious - the lights went up how he undermined her new relationship and having practically as soon as they had dimmed and Pave. won hack his girlfriend he treated her with exactly played by Sean Itiortilvoys, ambled forward mumb- the same contempt as before. ling "well that's the end." The two male characters were drawn almost as I carried away with me from the theatre a sense of caricatures but their portrayal seemed to fall a little unease and discomfort no doubt transmitted by the short of this parodying. The ruthless, manipulating actors. I have my doubts about this being the play's reporter seemed a little too nervous to exude the desired effect. confidence his role demanded of him. His mo► einents Ann Cooke LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE

• Iconoclasm for beginners Vol 7

19th Dec - 23rd Dec THE MARVELLOUS LAND You didn't choose your university without checking It OF OZ coloundi song tilled Christ- out carefully first, so why not come and talk to us about LEEDS extravaganta starring all your !r:. that vitally Important first step In your career and about 17.haraultrS plus sornu the advantages of taking it with Kodak. v.iu 11 never have heard •01 we need electmnics engineers. physicists PLAYHOUSE