LEEDS UNIVERSITY UNION O.G.M. 10th December INDEPENDENT LEEDS AREA STUDENT NEWSPAPER — 1.00pm - Riley Smith Hall THATCH ER The Prime Minister, Mrs. Mar- advised not to announce her ing fascist, you don't stand a garet Thatcher will be deliver- VISIT TOvisit until the last minute. chance of getting in." ing a speech on `Socialism - the Speculation has been growing The Conservative Party re- Cause of Britain's Decline' at in the union for some time con- fused to comment on security the Great Hall this Friday amid cerning an escalation in plans arrangements for the PM's visit angir in LUU Exec. that the for external security officers but LUCE President Kevin Shute event has not been publicised and this, linked with the recent called it, "hoodwinking the puh- REPORT BY JOANNE WATKINS until this week as a security discussions among vice- lie" and "making a mockery of measure. chancellors on free speech oil free speech." As a result of violent out- campus has put a focus on the bursts from students at Man- turmoil surrounding the invita- chester University. where Home tion of controversial speakers to The Prime Minister's speech Affairs Minister, David Wad- the university. begins at 5.00 p.m. and a dington was punched and spat Like Mr. Brittan's visit, Mrs. vociferous picket, coupled with upon recently, and the security Thatcher's talk has an 'anyone a large police presence is ex- row surrounding Leon Brittan's welcome' clause but as Paul pected to produce heated visit to Leeds University, two Brannen, LUU Anti-Apartheid clashes in the wake of recent weeks ago. Mrs. Thatcher was Sec. said, "If you're not a rav- events. Rugby Shock There was uproar at last weeks Thursday bop when the LUU Rugby Club, after their customary 2K pints. failed to go on the LEEDS EXEC'S rampage in the union extension. Roberto Mafiosi, head of Ens. Security, said from his hideaway in Sicily that he has no idea why these mature students are unable to act as they are expected. He cited several examples of what the Rugby Club had failed to do.: BLOWN UP 1. They did not LICK spilt beer from each other's groins. They did not WOBBLE on tables SINGING 'Smooth In an attempt to forge stronger it easier to recognise the execu- dent body; by a scientifically 2. ties between Union Executive tive, and therefore find them analysed method of dress asso- Operator'. They did not WEAR those hideous V-neck jumpers. members and the rest of the more approachable. ciation. 3. They did not SAY 'Hello love. any chance?' to every student body in Leeds, moves However, critics of the For example. Rob Minshull, 4. passing female over the age of twelve, are afoot to have inflatable scheme were quick to come for- LUU General Secretary will be They did not drop their trousers and EXPOSE their dummies of all the sabbatical ward. Frank Horvath. LUU dressed all in red to represent 5_ plonkers to everyone in the Tetley Bar. members of the Poly and the treasurer complained that the his political leanings, Frank Club Captain, Charles Devonshire-Hall, a medical stu- Uni manufactured. cost of £ I5,000 for the dummies Horvath will be dressed all in dent, was not eager to comment but even he said that he was was well in excess of what was. blue to represent his apparently In a joint statement released necessary to deal with the 'ashamed at what had happened'. The felling in Exec. is past political leanings. and Officer, on Wednesday, Poly president approachability problem. he much stronger - Claire Whitely. the Union Welfare Kevin Shute will be seen car- reacted angrily to the news'. "I think it was disgusting, and I Jill Smith and Leeds University felt that this scheme was going rying a four pack of Skol. never thought I'd see the day when this sort of atrocitt would Union president Kevin Shute 'to blow it all out of propor- However. news comes this happen. I was shocked, and I was especially disappointed not revealed that the plan was to tion'. week from sources close to the have the inflatables filled with Jill Smith however felt that executive, that the idea is not to see their plonkers." The case continues. helium and raised above the no amount of money was too original. buildings of the respective un- small. if it meant raising the Apparently some students ions so that students would find profile of executive members, have had inflatable dummies of HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL The brightly coloured exec. Kevin Shute and Jill Smith members hope to be airborne stored away in their bedrooms OUR WONDERFUL READERS by the beginning of next term. for at least the past six months . The inflatables will be attired in The reason was not disclosed. SEE YOU NEXT TERM a way that will make them in- Jay Raver INSIDE stantly recognisable to the stu- BYEEE P S corn s ete CUT OUT CHRISTMASSY THINGS ON Yuletide MOST PAGES - BUT WITH SOME EXEC MEMBERS WHATS ON SERIOUS BITS TOO FREE PAGE 11 (Centre pages) Page 2 BEHIND THE SCENES AT THEUs hard workingLEE hacks down at the shouldgo in this week's issue.511 Finally the Photography Editor[NI Leeds Student, infused with the "Exec herpes outbreak -. or arrives. talking about 'beautiful Christmas spirit, stuffed with mince "student attacked by vicious youth experiences' on Woodhouse Moor. pies. goodwill to all persons and wedding sharpened canisters of but without a print to run on the desperate to go to the toilet, have Johnson's Baby Powder". The front page. He gets the staff to pose decided to give ,ou the lucky reader Editor is snoring peacefully in the as rampant youths attacking an a glance behind the scenes. Come one comfortable chair we've got. OAP on the road outside. What a along on a Magical Mystery Tour of (You bastard - not true Ed.). scoop! intrigue and enlightenment, as we The Arts Editor, still hanging As the evening comes to an end, take you behind the scenes at the around from last night. drops his the staff speculate on what an Leeds Student . second tab of acid, and has his third indispensable publication the identity crisis of the week. "Why Leeds Student really is. What a And it's Monday. the rain drips am I here? What's it all about? good feeling they have inside. down through the trees, and the Does anybody read what I write? knowing another week's writing is typewriters heaver away in the And why are the desks eating my eagerly awaited by those outside. offices. Jonny Keats completes his left feet?" he mumbles to himself. The Leeds Student: possibly the third sonnet sequence, sinks his He hates all the reviews he's been most important publication this • The new student hack-wear - • Helen Slingsby confronts the fourth bottle of Napoleon, and given, and so rewrites them all in new X-27 typewriter, with optional side of Turnip-Grafters Week- Paisley tie, with matching sewn on starts tc type his column out on the phase - in moustache and blades. 'psychedelic-speak'. Like, intense. lr flared bicycle coffee machine. children. The Features Editors are writing Wednesday: the day the pages go 'in depth' interviews with each to press. Outside a storm rolls. other pretending to be well known Gorbachev and Reagan are personalities. The Editor is snoring engaged in hand to hand combat peacefully in the corner, and the just outside; Margaret Thatcher is Music Editor has spilt coffee over in the toilet slicing her wrists and his pages. "Wow, what amazing espousing the virtues of socialism. design. friend," he says. Pity no whilst the roof is swarming with one s typed out their reviews. -I security officers. desperate to know: we'll have a competition to protect the visiting Paul Newman fill up the space . ." and Robert de Niro; the lead story Tuesday falls: wading into the concerns the misuse of the union office through rejected features on car park's toilet by prominent sprocket-making, corner shops. members of the Buddhist foot maintenance and toilet • Denture shock) Mouths ru -rial Brotherhood_ The Editor is asleep as music staff express opinion of J technology, we see the News on the pile of rejected 'Foresight' & M Chain gig. Editor fighting over what stories openings on the floor. • Student mobility: we're getting there says Carl. Snipperfield Workers THE TRAVEL BUREAU Wish everyone a very LEEDS Tel: 784765 BRADFORD 721527 P.S. Book your sleigh ride to merry Chrimbo! Wish everyone a see Santa NOW!!! Very Happy Christmas!! ( ifPf fi.... ..e- , _kj1-- (=:-I- HAIR SEASON'S GREETINGS LEEDS PERMANENT Irvin & the rest of the (until 14th December) staff would like to wish from MERRY all L.S. readers a N LEEDS PLAYHOUSE ,o e k CHRISTMAS TO Very Happy Christmas Calverley Street 442111 , All Our Customers Tel: 789214 HAPPY CHRISTMAS and The The CRAFT & GOOD LISTENING from ALL AT THE SOUND WHOLEFOOD DESIGN CENTRE '82 ODHOLS2USE ■■ (under Leeds City Art Gallery) ORGANISATION, SHOP WOLANE. 1 HOPE ALL LEEDS ■For the best hi-fi Would like to wish all Leeds STUDENT READERS equipment including:- YORK Student readers a Merry LINN, MAIM, REGA, CREEK HAVE A FANTASTIC I etc and Bargain TDK tapes Christmas and a Prosperous Open 10am-6ptn Mon-Sat CHRISTMAS 36 Gillygate. York. Tel: 0904-21108 New Year LUU BOOKSHOP PARAPHERNALIA CROSSWORD LEEDS STUDENT Charity 'Oxfam' and 'Help ' 1.The best bibliopole in town (1,1,1,8) Christmas Cards ..