“you just don’t seem to understand”

BAGGIE SHORTS

ISSUE 9 - SEASON 2016/17 ALBION LONDON SUPPORTERS CLUB Welcome... department and the dietician. Having celebrated virtually every member of Arsenal Inc., the announcer said “and ...to the latest edition of Baggie Shorts. At the time of a big welcome to our guests, West writing, we have reached the magic 40 points and have A day in the life of an Albion Bromwich Albion” and then the referee arrived at that point in the season when Sam Field gets to fan aged 13 and a half blew the whistle and the carnage com- play for three minutes and the usual doubts set in. 4 by Anthony Nash menced. Happy Days!

In an effort to illuminate those doubts, we’ve commis- Arsenal v West Bromwich Happy Days also for Patrick Fahey (The Albion Match Report sioned Albion-nut and statistician Jon Want to analyse story of an Executive Steward), who tells by Aidan Rose the empirical data (see The Pulis Effect: What the Stats 6 us how he secured his dream match Say). Jon’s appearance in these pages is thanks largely day job and for Anthony Nash (Foot- to the dogged determination of Glenn Hess, for it was The story of an Executive ball Through The Ages: In search of the Glenn’s plan to lure Jon to The Exmouth Arms and thence Steward Golden Age) who shares his memories to cause his inebriation by the liberal application of ales, 7 by Patrick Fahey of his first Albion away day and reflects the better to secure his cooperation. In the event, such on what’s happened since. extreme measures were redundant, as Jon was more than Football through the ages happy to share his work with London Baggies. We hope Another development too late for this to carry many more of his articles and you can check out 8 byAnthony Nash edition is the shock departure of Jonas all of his stuff on his website at: jonwant.com Olsson. The significance of Jonas’ con- Foot(y) Notes tribution to the establishment of Albion Jon’s piece, like everything else here, was written before by Glenn Hess as a Premiership Club is universally ac- the crushing of Arsenal, so appropriate celebrations of 12 cepted, but London Baggies have par- that wondrous performance will have to await the next ticularly fond memories of his courage, The Pulis Effect: What do the issue (please let us have your contributions). There is, warmth and all-round greatness and stats say? however, a bit of an Arsenal flavour, with Aidan Rose’s these will be shared in the next issue. bitter-sweet reminiscences (I mean his Emirates match re- 13 by Jon Want port) and Peter Thursfield’s Q&A. Among other things, For the moment, enjoy and, please, let Aidan remembers the chastening 5-2 defeat at Highbury Memorable Away Days: Mid- dlesbrough 1981 us have your: feedback; brickbats; ar- (27 August 2002) and, as I was there, I can’t resist add- ticles; photos; and anything else you ing my own abiding memory. As we waited for Wenger’s 16 by Paul Probyn think should be here. magnificent physical specimens to take the field, we were Q&A: Peter Thursfield treated, on the massive screen, to a run down of the en- Toby Grainger tire Gunners squad: “Goalkeeper, ” [High- 19 by Aidan Rose ([email protected]) bury Library style subdued acclamation]; “” On behalf of the editorial team: [HLSSA]; “Martin Keown” [HLSSA]’ etc., etc., through all Anoushka Probyn, Glenn Hess, Aidan Rose six reserves, then the entire coaching staff, the medical & Toby Grainger change for us. White shirts, black proves when I get home; mum A DAY IN THE LIFE shorts. Our team was: has a lovely hot meal waiting. No Jim Sanders, Stuart Williams, Len microwaves in those days just on Millard, Jimmy Dudley, Joe Ken- a plate, over a saucepan of water, OF AN ALBION FAN nedy, , Frank Griffin, lid on, keep it warm, what more Maurice Setters, Graham Wil- can you ask for, thanks mum, God liams, , Johnny Nich- bless yer. AGED 13 AND A HALF olls. What a line-up! Attendance The following home match makes by Anthony Nash 18,731! up for it! We beat Portsmouth 4-0 with two goals from bandy-legged A cracking game ensues, with Maurice Setters, and one each for November 26th 1955 is a typi- A new experience for this young both teams giving their all and Frank Griffin and George Lee. cal dull Saturday morning in the boy travelling through the Black chances missed all round. Then Black Country. But on the upside Country; Tipton, Dudley Port, it happens. Baggies concede a But it isn’t a particularly good I am off to the back of beyond - Wolverhampton – excuse the penalty. Vic Metcalf puts the ball period for the Baggies. Between Huddersfield. Why you may ask? expletive – and on to Stafford, in the back of the net. Jim Sand- November 5 and December 31 Crewe and beyond, Cheshire and ers is beaten. We never recover. we lose 7, win 3, draw 1. Against Well the Baggies are playing Outer Manchester, Stockport and The Terriers hold out for a 1-0 Villa we draw one and lose one. there. My very first away match. eventually through the long tun- win. Captain Bill McGarry is well Same against Wolves. We lose Wow! So it’s up early, scoff one nel into Huddersfield. pleased. (The Terriers also won both matches against Blues. We of mum’s fantastic breakfasts and the return game on April 7 1956 finish the season in 13th place, away I go. The weather is now a lot better 2-1. Roy Horobin scored our goal. but climb the table over the next so the walk to the Leeds Road The crowd was 16,141.) few years. Twenty minutes later after a ground doesn’t take long. A num- brisk walk I arrive at the haven of ber of yellow buses pass us car- Though they played well that day More than half a century on, I still train-spotters and Baggies alike; rying local supporters waving Terriers were relegated to Divi- follow the Baggies, albeit from Rolfe Street, on the LMS line, their blue and white scarves. The sion 2 at the end of the season afar. Quite how far? Well, I live was the gateway to everywhere ground is open on one corner, coming second bottom on 35 about 8 miles from the Hudders- (Hawthorns Halt and West Brom- giving a panoramic view of the points. The Villa just stayed up on field ground! Went back there a wich were GMR). Ticket in hand nearby hills, covered in fans walk- the same points but more goals. couple of years ago to see us win I boarded the train and found a ing to the game. I have never for- 2-0 in the FA Cup Third Round. seat very easily in one of the eight gotten this sight. So it is a somewhat subdued jour- So, you see, we can win at Hud- carriages. All the fans were off ney home, but a very enjoyable dersfield! with a blast of the whistle. So, back to the game. Of course day for me even if the result wasn’t there was a clash of colours, so all what we hoped for. My mood im- ARSENAL 1 WEST BROMWICH ALBION 0 THE STORY OF AN 26TH DECEMBER 2016 EXECUTIVE STEWARD by Aidan Rose Patrick Fahey tells us how he got the gig at the Tony Brown suite My lifelong relationship with The Ar- arrogant and continued to be so as senal began wonderfully at Wemb- they started their decline from win- ley in 1969. Third division Swindon ners to also rans. Born in the year 1960, my late prima- my way past walls adorned with for- Town tore soon to be double winners ry school years were filled with The mer glories (some of which I had Arsenal to shreds with Don Rogers One highlight was Darren Carter’s Albion being at or close to Wembley seen in person). I reached the suite in ripping their defence apart on the 76th minute belter at on a regular basis, which led to an something of a misty-eyed blur, but ploughed up pitch. in 2005, another was Earnshaw’s late easy choice of team to follow as I dis- pulled myself back together when equaliser in 2004. But the highlight covered the world around me. I was asked: ‘Are you here for the Then came my introduction to High- of my Albion watching was the 3-2 match day job interviews?’ ‘I am’ was bury. Those two Art Deco stands win at Ashburton Gove in 2012. Away By 1996, when I married, I had shared my eager reply. I could see that my tie were probably the finest examples supporting does not get any better. in the suffering of our worst decline, and general demeanour were under of football stadium architecture and although, by this time, resurgence scrutiny and I was pleased I hadn’t remain there as part of a luxury flat We have also seen the dreadful cyn- was in the air. Unfortunately, the fi- ditched the suit. ‘Have you consid- development occupied by their icism of Arsenal players. Remember nancial commitments of marriage, ered an Executive Steward role, £5 a nouveau riche supporters. But that the Santi Carzola drop poleaxed in mortgage and kids meant that I could match more and a pie!’ Where do I ground evoked dreadful memories the box when Stephen Reid was no- not justify going to the games. So sign I replied and I have been work- of those FA Cup semi-finals. The first, where near him - an injustice which I had to make do with TV and press ing in that capacity in the Halfords against ’s Ipswich, was was all over the press the next day. coverage. Lane ever since. The pie and £5 are drama but the second against QPR Also the League Cup tie when a red ok but putting on the club blazer is was unforgivable. card was given to Jonathon Thomas The return to the big time in the early the best reward! In 1994 I moved to London and in a League Cup and to that night part of this century was just too much. bought a flat on the top of a hill, only off at the final whistle they played The I had to be more closely involved, so I The mortgage has now almost gone to find that, out of the corner of the Who’s ‘The Kids Are Alright’. Did I not wrote to the club in the close season – so have the kids come to that and bedroom window, I could see High- like that. prior to our return to the top flight finance for a season ticket could be bury. I swore not to go there until The asking for a job - any job, on a match easily found especially given the very Albion got promoted. So, we played Arsenal at their place day, which would get me a glimpse reasonable prices we charge. Maybe on Boxing Day sandwiched by capi- of play, a whiff of the turf, anything something for the future but for now We did, of course. But they were The tal fixtures at Chelsea and Tottenham. just to be there. I am happy doing my bit to help the Invincibles. They played The Blues We lost one-nil to a team of super- club project a positive image to ev- the game before us and I watched stars that didn’t seem to have much I was asked to attend a recruitment eryone who comes through the door the highlights before spending two of a Plan A let alone a Plan B. Ok, event, one Wednesday evening, in to collect tickets, access the lounges days on the toilet. They ripped us they were better than us but if they one of the suites in the Handsworth or pull on the shirt! apart scoring five but we got two want to watch better football I sug- stand. I travelled in my business suit back. OK, they were brilliant at that gest they take a ride east on the W3. (from the orange hell-hole where I COYB! time but their supporters were so had had to spend the day) and made ful player. Unfortunately, we have months of the season, would have FOOTBALL little visual record of the game meant even the most gifted play- our great-grandfathers watched; ers would have needed to give the fragments of newsreel from it some welly most of the time. THROUGH THE AGES pre-war days inadequate for any Undoubtedly the sodden leather deep insight into style and tactics. case-ball would have spent more Footage from my youth is also time airborne. Anthony Nash goes in thin on the ground. Highlights are search of the Golden Age inconclusive, a full ninety minutes What of the players’ views? Con- is required to gain a comprehen- sider these words of a former En- sive picture. The snag here is that gland goalkeeper. One of the most enjoyable as- cover why some fans so dispar- any unabridged match record “It’s been more than 20 years since pects of retirement and return to age the modern game. Nostalgia that survives will almost invariably I finished my playing career but my native Black Country has been plays an enormous part of course. be of one of the two major fixtures I am not however, one of the old my re-acquaintance with friends We are naturally inclined to find on the calendar, namely England school who believe that the game with whom I had lost touch over the version of what first captured v Scotland and the FA Cup Final, was better in my time than it is to- the decades, particularly one our affection, be it football or mu- where Wembley’s unique playing day. How often have we heard the group whose commonality was a sic, or whatever to be the best. But surface and big occasion nerves grumble that football isn’t what it shared love of the Albion. On our this still fails to explain why some often had an adverse effect on the used to be. Take it from me that reunion the conversation natural- fans, who may have once lived and quality of play. just isn’t true. People were com- ly turned to our favourite football breathed the game, at some point plaining about the standard of club and our respective watching hit the off switch to spend their I recently watched a CD of the play when I started 42 years ago. I habits. Two continue to be season Saturdays at the shopping mall. 1954 cup final and thought the think our international sides of to- ticket holders; another couple Has football declined over the pace of the game was a little day play more as a team than they attend, like myself, only sporad- years? Let us attempt to find some quicker than I expected while the did in my day. Then there were ically; while the remaining three hard facts. Athletics records have frequency with which possession too many individualists playing for haven’t been to the Hawthorns been broken exponentially over changed sides would have exas- themselves, for their own person- in twenty years or more, as they those years, so it would be unre- perated today’s coaches. I was al reputations. On the other hand think the modern game compares alistic to suggest that the fitness also surprised that the 1970 World I don’t think the present day play- unfavourably with the football of and stamina of professional foot- Cup between England and Brazil ers train as hard as we did. I don’t their youth. ballers has not grown commen- was not nearly as enthralling as I think they put as much effort into surately, particularly as people remembered. Such is the fallibili- the game.” These are the words of It’s a common gripe among many tended to be stronger in Victorian ty of memory. Hard evidence that Dick Pym, who appeared in three of the older generation that foot- and Edwardian times. So, attain- does exist comes in the form of Cup Finals in the 1920s, which ap- ball was better in days gone by. ing today’s fitness levels would many old photographs of match- peared in an interview published Memory is notoriously selective, not have been a problem and, of es played on appalling pitches. in 1955. so my aim here is to be as subjec- course, athletic prowess does not These gluepots, the norm on tive as possible in a quest to dis- necessarily make for a more skil- most grounds for around three Now consider the reminiscences to develop his own individuality the current claim that the Premier- of a then 82 year old Jack Hillman, only if it conforms to the general ship is dominated year in year And yet I will readily admit that (quite a character and worthy of a plan.” out by the same moneyed elite.) the present is well capable of google search) speaking in 1952. One headline from the same au- creating moments one feels priv- “Today’s game is a long way be- Trawling through the archives thor screamed “Where have all ileged to have witnessed. Zlatan hind the quality of before the First reveals reams of such material the stars gone?” This, in a time Ibrahimovich’s opener for Man- World War. The alteration of the from footballers, either already when and Tom United at the Hawthorns offside law and the adoption of deceased or in their dotage while Finney were in their pomp (that’s this season was a strike of such the centre-half as a third full back I was still teething and the only the same of whom Bill perfection in both approach and has completely robbed the game conclusion to be drawn is that Shankly proclaimed “could play execution, that, if the footage had of the forwards’ dribbling ability.” nearly all would have been wear- today with his overcoat on”. In been converted to linear form His opinion is endorsed by con- ing glasses tinted with varying fairness, both Matthews and Fin- it would have graced any Roy of temporary and fellow interna- shades of rose. However, I’ve little ney would later write (in their re- the Rovers storyboard. But I must tional Frank Forman, who began doubt that the better players from spective autobiographies) of be- temper such praise with the view his playing career in 1894 and any era would prosper in today’s ing spellbound by the Brazilians that I find the Premiership un- must have been familiar with the game, only the lack of natural at the 1950 World Cup, where remittingly dull. With such mas- organised game from its infancy. pace a hindrance to any adapt- everything about their hosts’ sive improvements to playing kit, He writes: “ We used to make a fe- ability. playing style, training, technique boots, ball and pitches, profes- tish of ball control. Nowadays too and even their kit, seemed “miles sional football should be better many teams are in a hurry to get So what of the media past and ahead of us”. than ever. That it is not nearly as rid of the ball. Defence is different. present? Drawing on articles exciting as it could be can be at- I always played as an attacking pulled from the 1950s reveals a So, despite all the dewy-eyed tributed to over-cautious coach- centre-half with the wing-halves scathing criticism of the game. nostalgia, contemporary writing ing that has reduced the game to behind me. They used to take care The England team comes in for would seem to undermine the the artistic equivalent of painting of the wingers while the full-backs particular vitriol, as it dawned on very idea of a golden age of soc- by numbers. We are desperate- controlled mid-field. Unlike to- people that our pre-eminence in cer in the post war boom years ly missing maverick entertainers day’s centre-halves I used to get the game had been challenged and I tend to go along with this such as Cantona and Gascoigne. plenty of goals. We old ‘uns are by humiliation at the hands of the notion. My own personal favou- While a compilation of a season’s told we lacked speed but I don’t USA, a chastening tour of South rite recollections span the de- offerings will throw up some ab- believe that. On the whole our America and evisceration by the cades and the continents from solute gems, the bottom line is style of play was more attractive.” Hungarians. The domestic game Real Madrid flickering in their that too many of those expensive- also came under fire. One noted monochrome pomp on our tiny ly purchased minutes are taken While the views of Billy Wedlock, commentator, himself a former TV, Clodoaldo’s dance hall shim- up by mind-numbing interchang- who appeared in the 1909 Cup international, moaned that Arse- my, total Cryuff, the best engine es of unproductive passing. It’s Final, are strangely prescient: nal’s winning of the 1952-53 title room of all time in Platini, Tigana, why I now choose to get my jol- “Nowadays it seems to me the was so dull, because there were Giresse and Fernandez to Mara- lies from the non-league game team plan comes first, and all the no outstanding teams that season. dona’s slalom through the English where players are not sufficiently time. The young player is allowed (Strangely, a complete reversal of defence. Wondrous stuff indeed. capable of closing a game down or “parking the bus” and tend to ject of the game is not primarily to play more expansively because prevent the other team scoring. It livelihoods are not dependent on is to score at least one more goal THE PULIS EFFECT: results. Conversely professional than the opposition. If we ever coaches and players alike make achieve this paradigm shift then WHAT DO THE STATS SAY? much of “keeping a clean sheet”, I think we may well indeed look a phrase I have come to equate forward to a golden age of soc- with the sound of fingernails on a cer, but don’t hold your breath. by Jon Want blackboard. Gentlemen, the ob-

West Bromwich Albion and, consequently, the reputation of amongst many Albion fans, have undergone a dramatic turnaround in - Foot(y) Notes - the last six months. But how do the stats bear this out? For me, the lowest point of the Pulis reign came on 23rd January when a dire performance saw Albion throw away the opportunity to record a first league double over our nearest and, for those of my genera- THE FURTHER tion, bitterest rivals, since 1964. And to finish the season with nine win- less games was another indication that all was not well, and the signs ADVENTURES OF TIM of discontent from the terraces were becoming more apparent with many opting not to renew season tickets last summer.

SCHADENFREUDE Eight months later, things could not be more different. Pulis’s name Our Karma Korrespondent, Glenn Hess, reports that Mr Timothy Sher- is being sung around the stadium as the Baggies have reached the wood (formerly a top, top manager at a top, top club) has latterly been 40-point mark before the end of February, with a full 12 games to go, earning his crust as Director of Football at Swindon Town. and the football has been entertaining!

Things have not been going well and, alas, Tim’s renowned self-control So what has changed? was recently tested beyond destruction by referee Mark Brown and, in consequence, Mr Sherbert received a two-match ban. The good news In my opinion, one of the key differences between this season and for the ailing Robins, who have lost seven of their last ten games, is that last has been the speed of transition of Albion’s play from defence to they won in Mr Tim’s absence, on both occasions! attack. The introduction of Nacer Chadli and Matt Phillips to the team has made a massive difference to the pace of the Baggies’ attack, and Mr Hess invites further scurrilous anecdotes that reflect poorly upon their ability to get the ball forward quickly. persons or entities that have, at any stage in living memory, offended against the Albion. Indeed, he (and all of us at Baggies Towers) would The statistics don’t really bear out this dramatic change, although the welcome any vaguely relevant stories you might have – please send fact that the average number of short passes has dropped slightly, and them to Toby Grainger ([email protected]). the average number of long passes increased, could indicate a slightly more direct approach. 2015-16 2016-17 Pld W D L F A Pts PPG

Average passes per game (successful) 322.6 308.9 2016-17 Record 26 11 7 8 36 32 40 1.54 (70.1%) (70.0%) (as at end Feb)

Average long passes per game (successful) 70.0 71.5 2016-17 Record 7 0 1 6 2 16 1 0.14 (39.7%) (40.6%) vs Top Six Average short passes per game (successful) 252.6 237.3 2016-17 Record 19 11 6 2 34 16 39 2.05 (78.5%) (78.9%) vs The Rest

Another stark contrast this Team Goals Shots Conversion 2015-16 Equiva- 26 7 10 9 22 32 31 1.19 season is Albion’s goal tal- Rate lent Fixtures1 ly – this stands at 36 from 2015-16 Equiva- 7 1 4 2 5 11 7 1.00 Chelsea 55 372 14.8% 26 games so far this term lent vs Top Six2 as compared to 34 for the 2015-16 Equiva- 19 6 6 7 17 21 24 1.26 whole of last season. How- Arsenal 54 389 13.9% ever, their average num- lent vs The Rest ber of shots per game is 1Fixtures against relegated clubs from last season compared to those Baggies 36 271 13.3% broadly similar to 2015/16 against promoted clubs this season. indicating that the Bag- 2These are the equivalent fixtures against this season’s top six. gies have become more Man City 51 402 12.7% clinical in their finishing So why are the results against the top sides this season so poor in com- – their goals to shots con- Liverpool 55 445 12.4% parison to 2015/16? version rate has risen from 8.7% last season to 13.3% One statistic that sheds some light on this is that the average shots per in 2016/17. In fact, only son has come against a team in the top game in the matches against last season’s top six were similar to the Chelsea and Arsenal have six – the draw against Spurs at the Haw- season average whereas, this season, they are markedly lower. a better shot conversion thorns. rate in the 2015-16 2016-17 this season. Compared to the results in the equiva- Average shots per game – all matches 10.2 10.4 lent fixtures last season, Albion’s points One of the most remark- per game average was not that different 2.8 3.3 able statistics of this sea- between the top six and the rest, whereas Average shots on target per game – all son is that Albion have not this season, we are averaging more than matches lost to a team below them two points per game against “the rest”, Average shots per game – vs top six 9.7 6.6 in the table since mid-Sep- which is nothing short of remarkable. tember and only one of 2.3 1.3 their forty points this sea- Average shots on target per game – vs top six This suggests that Albion are taking a much more cautious approach We arrived at Ayresome Park early, news that a replacement coach was against the top sides this season, and that it isn’t working, whereas the before the turnstiles opened. As we being sent from West Bromwich and performances and results against the top sides last season were some walked down Ayresome Park Road would be with us in four hours. the most encouraging. To me, the statistics are too compelling to be from the chippie, past the home turn- stiles, we were welcomed by a Boro This meant arriving back home long insignificant – there is a definite change in approach to these games. fan with the witty enquiry “Think you after closing time, so Pete had a I always had a sense of frustration last season when I saw Albion show can wear that f*****g scarf round “bright idea”. His sister lived in Leeds: their quality by taking a positive approach against the top sides, while here?” We were so pissed that we we could hitch there, have an eve- sitting back against the weaker opposition. This season, Pulis seems laughed in response and threw him ning on the town, and borrow mon- to have reversed that approach which has resulted in a fantastic set of a few chips. He must have concluded ey from her to get the train home results against “the rest” but a dismal return from the matches with the we were dangerously mad and didn’t on Sunday morning. A flawless plan! top six. pursue the argument. And it started well, as a Huddersfield fan soon gave us a lift into Leeds. Given Albion’s improved finishing ability that the statistics above The game itself was memorable (Again, for the benefit of younger demonstrate, surely a more positive approach against the top sides mostly for Brendan Batson scoring a readers, hitch-hiking was considered rare goal, but unfortunately his head- normal and pretty safe in those days. will lead to an upturn in those results, and maybe that European qual- er put Boro in front. Despite having I had hitched to places like Glasgow ification spot could be in reach. a stellar line-up, Albion lost two-one, and Scarborough and back, without with wandering around either me or the generous drivers be- aimlessly, and scoring ing raped or murdered). our only goal in a 2-1 defeat. My only other memory of the game was the When we arrived at Pete’s sister’s MEMORABLE AWAY DAYS: Albion fans turning towards our ev- in Headingley she was out with her er-menacing Boro counterparts and boyfriend, but her flatmate made MIDDLESBROUGH 1981 singing “We’re gonna get our f*****g us welcome and we headed out to heads kicked in”. blow most of our remaining cash on by Paul Probyn a Chinese meal and a few beers. Sad- Back on the coach after the game, we ly for us, though, his sis didn’t come There are many away trips that are him professional embarrassment. We were warned to crouch down as the back home that night, and with no a great experience at the time, but met up recently and shared reminis- Boro fans had a penchant for heaving way of contacting her, and still hun- after a while they merge with all the cences of a day - actually two days bricks through the windows of oppo- dreds of miles from home, we had to rest. But others stick in the memory, - that started unremarkably, board- sition coaches, but a police motorcy- change our plans the next morning. down to the last detail, for the rest of ing the Sealandair coach in Carters cle escort saw us safely out of town. We walked into the city centre, stop- your life - usually for all the wrong Green. One more stop, at the then-in- So far, a pretty routine away trip of ping to look for cash in every phone reasons. Let me tell you about Mid- famous public toilets in Walsall, and that era, but then the coach broke box that we passed (remember when dlesbrough v West Brom, March 28th then non-stop to Middlesbrough, down somewhere in the wasteland there were no cashpoints, debit cards 1981. by which time we were all pissed that is Yorkshire. We imagined naive- or credit cards?) but this yielded only and bursting. I should explain, for ly that Sealandair would arrange for a few pennies. We headed to the rail- I went to the game with my best mate. the benefit of younger readers, that a local coach firm to rescue us, but way station anyway, as I’d read some- He is now the senior partner in a ma- alcohol was not banned on football when the driver eventually found a where that you could write a cheque jor West Midlands law firm, so I will coaches, in fact we were expected to phone (this was long before mobile on any piece of paper and it would refer to him simply as “Pete” to save carry at least a four-pack on board. phones of course) he gave us the be as legal as one torn from a cheque book. The clerk in the booking office coddled their offspring into middle looked at us as if we were mad and age, and Pete’s mum told us in no sent us off with a flea in our ear. Plan uncertain terms that they were busy B was to hitch back to West Brom, watching Poldark and if we had no but there were no friendly Hudder- money we should borrow some from sfield fans this time. Our belief that a police station (another urban myth, Leeds was full of w*****s was con- like being able to write a cheque on firmed by two fruitless hours spent, any scrap of paper). Q&A thumbs out, at the start of the M1. By now it was afternoon, and we had to Our last resort was to call a minicab. think about getting to work the next One duly turned up, and we contin- morning. Plan C saw us heading to ued down our Via Dolorosa, the A38. Peter Thursfield the coach station. Coaches were a In the course of conversation we ca- lot cheaper than trains, but we didn’t sually asked the driver if passengers Brighton based Peter still keeps the faith despite tempta- have enough money to get all the ever ran off without paying. “I had tions round the corner and Burton. way home on one. So we pooled our one last week. I ran after him and remaining resources and bought two kicked the s**t out of him.” He looked tickets to Burton-on-Trent. My ruse as if he meant it, so when we arrived Why The Baggies? er of a red and yellow bar code was to pretend we were asleep when in Black Lake, 36 hours after setting Well nearly all my family are Villa shirt, and I also own a West Brom the coach got to Burton, and stay on off, Pete had to remain a hostage in fans. Fortunately my Dad start- Park Drive Cigarette Box! it to Birmingham. But Pete was wor- the cab while I went up to my flat to ed working for Salter Springs in ried that such dishonestly could get get a cheque book. West Bromwich, and as their so- Worst away pie? him struck off by the Law Society, so we disembarked in Burton, a pret- We still look back on it as the best cial club was close to the ground Fulham - their special pie was a ty depressing place, stinking like a away trip of our lives. In the era be- we could go there on a Saturday tasteless potato covered mon- brewery, late on a Sunday afternoon. fore mobile phones, credit cards and lunch time and I was taken to see strosity. [It was brilliantly name all the other aspects of progress that the Albion for my first game, and The Cottage Pie but was as bad Back to hitching, and we were soon make our lives so much easier now, I was hooked! Have since con- as Newcastle’s Mag Pie. Eds] heading down the A38 with a friend- we were never too far from some cri- verted my Dad! ly old man. But he wasn’t going all sis or other, but life had an exhilarat- Best Albion away strip? the way to Brum, and dropped us ing rawness that we took for granted. First ever game? I am a huge fan of green and off in Barton-under-Needwood, a 27.03.1971 v Manchester City yellow stripes. name that will be forever seared on - finished 0-0. Second game my memory. It’s the Hotel California For the record, our team that day was: of the West Midlands, a place you 10.04.1971 v Coventry City - Favourite away trip? can never leave. It was getting dark, finished 0-0! It took me over 40 I love Goodison Park - the last Godden Robson and after a while we realised that years before I saw two consecu- large old fashioned proper Batson Mills none of the few passing drivers was tive 0-0 draws again. [He must football ground in my opinion. I Statham Barnes going to pick us up. In desperation, Bennett Deehan be an accountant, Eds] went to Everton a few years back we phoned Pete’s parents in Birming- Wile with Chris Wallett and Shane ham, asking for a lift. This, though, Regis Moses Worst tat from the club shop? Harper. We flew to the game on was not an era when parents molly- I must admit I am the proud own- British Airways from Gatwick to Manchester return. Then had a scouse cabbie look after us all day. Fantastic hospitality. And we drew 2-2.

Best ever game at The Haw- thorns? Three come to mind, the 2-0 win over Palace to get us promotion for the first time to the Premier League, the 2-0 win over Portsmouth for the great escape, or the 5-5 Best visitors to The Hawthorns? against Man United. Man Utd fans sing all through the game and know more than Best ever Albion chant? one song. Artim Sakiri he scores from corner kicks, Most Memorable Away Game? Artim Sakiri he thinks that 3-2 Away win against Arsenal Beckham's shit at the Emirates. We missed a Artim Sakiri penalty in the first half, but for Lobbing Seaman all day the first 20 minutes of the sec- ond half we played some of the best football I have ever seen! They even agreed on !