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BAGGIE SHORTS

West Bromwich Albion London Supporters Club Issue 6 Season 15/16 byEDITORIAL Di Lemma our Baggies Shorts Welsh correspondent

Hello Boyos

I’m writing this on the 20th March and there are certain burn- ing issues that need to be addressed. Suddenly we had come good----wins against Everton, Palace and Manure and an excellent performance bringing a draw against the leaders Leicester. Followed by a candidate for dross of the season in the match against a very poor Norwich team. Oh, in case you didn’t know, we contrived to lose it 0-1, at .

1) What are we to do about the future of our Tone?

I imagine he was happy to walk in the summer but then along came the tiny (no pun intended) matter of losing 3.5 million squids to that lovely man who runs the Palarse - a real gent. So now he’ll want to stay unless he gets a better offer from a promoted club (or Norwich or Newcastle, if they go). And what do you think of a geezer who trousers 3.5 million and walks and who is definitely not ‘Arry, or his dog? The argu- ments seem to be: he’s kept us up, so shut up all you moaners; you will regret getting rid of him; we will always be safe in the Prem with Tiny; he has never been relegated; teams like us have to survive.

Or: like to see some football more than occasionally; what’s happening to the Albion tradition?; if Leicester, Watford, Bournemouth and Stoke (YES STOKE) can not only survive but do well playing attractive footie, why can’t we?; TP and Big Sam are the dinosaurs of modern football, with their giant back 4, normally made up of 4 centre-halves.

2) Who is this new boyo up front called Rondon?

Where has this streak of form been all season? Playing 4-4-2 and giving da do Ron Ron da do Ron a companion up front has changed him from zero to hero. Why did we take so long to do this?

3) Should we keep the lovely Saido in the summer?

Can we keep him? Why didn’t he play for more than half of the season?

4) What about Pocc?

He came on against Manure and delivered the killer cross for Solomon and in the next game is out again

5) Is Johnny Evans (our best player at centre-half) really a left back?

Please join in this debate - by emailing your thoughts to: [email protected] [not the author] - and we will do a page of your thoughts in our final end of season issue.

Until then Boing Boing and hwyl fawr!

Di CANTELLO CANTELLO CANTELLO

By Prof Solomos

When I say to people who do not actually joking. know me well that I support West Brom they usually look amazed Let me explain why I am only part- and ask me ‘Why do you support ly joking. One of the main reasons them, did you live there?’ Be- is that I have been able to see the cause I have become irritated by Baggies play some magnificent this response I have developed football over the years. Many a response that is only partly fans today do not remember the tongue in cheek and say to them 1978-79 team and how close they ‘Because they are the greatest came to clinching the league ti- team the world has ever seen’. Al- tle. But for me watching that team though most of my interlocutors was very much an experience laugh off my response I then try that will never be forgotten. Len to explain to them that I am not Cantello, , , , Der- in the world relates to my experi- ek Statham, and Brendon Bat- ences with other West Brom sup- son were all shining examples of porters over the years. From my quality players who helped make first few games watching from the both home and away games a End to long years on pleasure to watch. More impor- the Brummie and latterly sitting tantly, however, for those on the down in the Halford, I have en- Brummie Road they symbolised joyed a great rapport with other something about West Brom that fans. Some of my best memories goes beyond that team. Watching on the Brummie go back to the Cantello and Robson orchestrate period of the late 1970s and early the midfield and link up with the 1980s, with a great atmosphere strikers was simply a joy. And al- week after week. Whether we though few outside of the mid- were singing the praises of ‘Can- lands appreciated the skills of tello, Cantello, Cantello’ or Cyrille Statham his command of the left we were all together. Going away back role is something we have with Cyrille and Brendon in the not seen since. early 1980s was both depressing and invigorating at the same time A key part of supporting a team and made me feel ‘Proud to be a relates to the memories of games Baggie’. won, games lost, and games that should have been won! Of ref- Even after all the years of being in ereeing decisions made and not the wilderness there were great made! More importantly, how- moments to remember. I know we ever, are the memories of goals are not necessarily going to see a scored, chats with fellow fans, team like the legends of 1978-79 songs bellowed out and moments again, but now that we are back of pure magic and enthralment in the Premiership we have hope when a player does something to develop both as a team and you do not see coming. Cantello club. And after a year like this and Cunningham were players we should still have hope in our who did something to surprise hearts that we shall see another me in every game. great team grace the Hawthorns.

But for me another reason why I feel I support the greatest team MATCH REPORT Leicester City 2 Albion 2 1 March 2016 Paul Probyn writes:

Leicester is one of those plac- There was a good atmosphere es like or Reading. If around the , as there no it didn’t already exist, nobody doubt will be at the Hawthorns would bother to invent it. But Mur- next time we are zeroing in on phy’s Law states that the earlier the Premiership title. No doubt you set off, the smoother the jour- most readers will have watched ney, so we arrived there by about the match at the Albion pub, or at 5.30, via Watford Gap (...Watford home on an illegal stream, so you Gap, Plenty of Grease and a Load will know that, despite being back of Crap, according to convicted to the tried and trusted formula of paedophile Roy Harper). Meticu- four centre-backs and two hold- lous prior research took me and ing , Albion continued Anoushka to the Huntsman pub, the more positive form that had described as follows by one re- been seen against Palace the pre- viewer: “I found it to be the sort of vious weekend. We took an early place where you don’t catch any- lead through Rondon, who has one’s eye, drink up and get out looked twice the player since we quick.” We followed his advice, have switched into more attacking and moved on to join Glenn Hess mode and paired him with Bera- and Max Davies, who were enjoy- hino. Berahino may not be setting ing a slap-up South Indian veg- the league alight, but his pres- etarian meal with . ence is giving Rondon a bit more Full to bursting with vadas, samo- space which he’s converting into sas, dosas and paneer, we arrived goals. But 1-0 is never enough at the King Power shortly before against this Leicester side. Okay, kick-off. The Albion enclosure was they have a good combination packed, the numbers swollen by of strength, speed and skill, but some of the usual suspects from more than that they seem to be the London Branch including Prof, surfing on a giant wave of adren- Aidan Rose and Dave Wiltshire. alin - they just keep coming at Prof was in good voice as usual: you. Admittedly their equalizer I hope he doesn’t use language was lucky, coming from a deflec- like that with his students. tion off Olsson, but then they took the lead right at the end of the left the pitch, it was touching to half with a beautifully executed see James , at last emerg- goal. It was scored by King (who ing from the shadows, make a played for Leicester in League 1) special point of coming over to after skillful work by Albrighton, applaud the away support. not good enough for Villa but on course for a medal with Leicester, We walked back to the car with and Mahrez. Adrian Chiles, who has to have the patience of a saint at away At half-time we wondered how games. Unlike some “celebrity” many they would go on to win fans he’s not exactly anonymous, by, but Craig Gardner had other and had to put up with a barrage ideas. Those of us who thought of selfie requests and proposals Gardner’s only real quality was (from the safety of a crowd) to his visceral hate for the Villa have push him into the River Soar that been proven wrong in recent we were walking alongside. weeks. Although it’s a bit early to speak of him in the same breath as It was good to hear Pulis in his af- Ronaldo and Messi, the free kick ter-match interview saying he’d he equalised with early in the sec- like to see Leicester win the title, ond half was pretty sublime. Even rather than the usual manager’s then, we had another 40 minutes blather about concentrating on of end-to-end football (ok, mostly their own team’s performance. from their end to ours) and it was Outside Nottingham and Derby, it a surprise that neither side broke would be almost universally pop- the deadlock. Leicester probably ular. It will certainly be welcomed thought they shaded it, but you among our neighbours in North don’t get any points for hitting the London - the “anyone-but-Ar- woodwork. (Well, only in Fantasy senal” faction from the Lane, Football, where the key to success and the “anyone-but-Spurs” mob this season is apparently to pack from the Emirates. I put a tenner your team every week with play- on them when their odds length- ers who are up against Villa). ened after losing to Arsenal, and I’m confident that by the time this There was some minor handbags is published I’ll be a little richer, if between opposing fans at the fi- none the wiser - if a team that nal whistle, probably provoked by was bottom this time last year can the predictably heavy police pres- win the Premiership, is there hope ence at Leicester. As the players for the rest of us? LONDON BAGGIES’ SECOND COMING By Paul Mason

Having been born and raised in my own. I bumped into a number south-west London, it was nev- of fellow travelling Albion fans er easy being an Albion fan. At and discovered that there used to School, I had to put up with QPR be a London Supporters Branch, fans, which was nobody’s idea of but that it had been dissolved af- fun, especially after 1982. Its me ter the team’s relegation in 1986. dad’s fault, I could have been a Even so, there seemed to be Brentford Fan. (Sorry dad, only plenty of supporters still willing to joking). travel from London to see the club play, either home or away. We al- After finishing college and start- ways used to catch the 11.40 from ing work in 1987, I had the money Euston (how times have changed to start following Albion, home - nowadays we would probably and away, on a regular basis. I be in the pub by then) and the bought my first season ticket for gang would usually be: me, John the 1987/88 season, little know- Dell, Barney, Chris, my dad (John), ing how much this was going to Peter, and John Ganty. I began to shape and change my life. see others on away trips, and no- ticed that there were also people I started travelling to home games who travelled by car. on the train from Euston, some- times with my dad, sometimes on So, in season 1989/90 I put an advert in the programme to try When the train eventually depart- to re-form the London Support- ed we were in congenial mood ers Branch. I received a number (not to say pissed), but our good of calls from interested people, cheer was soon shaken by the notably, John Burke, Rab Rogers, discovery that it was a dry train. Steve Watts and Dave Tranter. I ar- Action was clearly called for and, ranged a meeting to be held after at Darlington station, Simon Lloyd a game in London (I think this was took it. Leaping on to the plat- after a 3-2 win away at West Ham) form, he headed straight to the and we put together a member- station buffet to buy beers. This ship list with about 20 names on it was an act of selfless valour that (I think Steve Watts may still have earned near universal approba- a copy of this original list). Af- tion, but the British Transport Po- ter that, I made contact with the lice responded with characteristic main supporters branch and met churlishness and refused to allow with them before a home game. him back on the train. There are Special mention must be given to worse places than Darlington, but Wilf Tibbetts and Ian Atkins at this Simon might disagree. point for all their help. Northampton (away in the league The new Branch went from cup) was another delay-ridden strength to strength, even though train trip. We won the game and the club’s fortunes were not great made our way back to the station, at the time. only to be told of major delays. Naturally, alcoholic refreshment In the early 1990s, we ran a train was again taken and, as no train trip to Sunderland. About 20 of arrived until midnight, taken in us travelled and it was an event- some quantity. We eventually got ful trip, which (like quite a few back to Euston at around 1:00am, eventful trips) started with a drink but we were still sharp enough to in Newcastle. The short train jour- insist that the train operator ar- ney to Sunderland was plagued range taxis for us - Steve Finn was by delays, as was the departure of chauffeured all the way to Herne the return train to London, which Bay! necessitated frequent refuelling trips to the O’Neil’s pub opposite We continued to hold regular the station. (I think the match end- monthly meetings. Our main ed in a draw.) meeting place was the Prince Of Wales opposite Warren Street Station, but we also used the Sols Arm at Euston for bigger meet- To enable a branch to run smooth- ings and functions. ly and successfully you need good support around you, as a Chair- During my Chairmanship of the man. I had an excellent Vice Chair London Branch the Club’s for- in Nigel Pritchard, and, as I’ve tunes were not brilliant, but we mentioned, help from Steve and had many good times meeting up John in organising other events. and travelling together. Among We had a hard core of people who the best: regularly attended our meetings and supported Branch events on • Frank Skinner joining us in our train trips, but we also need- a mini bus to the Swansea away ed support from the club itself. play off leg; We got this in abundance from • Gaining an intimate knowl- the main branch, especially Wilf edge of the rail network (on one Tibbetts (without whose help the occasion we had three consecu- branch would not have received tive away games - Burnley, Wigan an allocation of 90 tickets for the and Preston – all on the west coast Port Vale play-off final). main line); • Competing in a football I eventually left London in 1998 supporters quiz league (which and moved to , to John Burke ran brilliantly for us), marry Jane. The Branch gave gaining two promotions in three me a great send-off, with a pub- seasons and twice winning our di- crawl around London, and I was vision; reassured that I was leaving the • Playing friendly football organisation in the good hands matches against other support- of Tony Vass. Under Tony’s chair- ers’ teams and competing in the manship, the Branch grew con- annual APFSCIL 5-a-side tourna- siderably and, when he stepped ment (John also organised the down, I was pleased to see that he football); was succeeded by Chris Wallett. • (For a couple of seasons) producing a fanzine (brilliantly It is now 27 years since I re-formed put together by Steve Watts), en- the branch, and it would great if, tailing lots of rushing around in in 2019, we could have 30th anni- the early hours of the morning to versary bash, where all old friends meet printers’ deadlines. could meet up. REFEREES: A WHOLLY OBJECTIVE INVESTIGATION

by Toby Grainger

It was Glenn’s idea. I’m not being disloyal and far be it from me to pass the buck, but it was Glenn’s idea. Anoushka, sensing a potential libel writ, advised cau- tion, but, as the editorial group proceeded to the sec- ond pint [sic] of the agenda, I agreed to do a piece on referees. Or, to be truer to the spirit of Glenn’s idea, on referees that have incurred the wrath of the Baggies, because of their ineptitude, malice, sensory disability and/or childhood allegiances.

Where to start? I could have built and interrogated an extensive database, producing an evidence-based league table of atrocious refereeing performances. But that would have taken several months of hard work and, to be perfectly honest, no serious football fan would allow her/his assessment of a referee to be clouded by anything as dull as facts. So, abandoning any pretence of empirical science, I opted for an eth- nographic approach and set out to gather data at one of the London Baggies’ monthly meetings.

The research subjects were self-selected and a certain amount of alcohol had been taken. The exercise was, nevertheless, endowed with an impressive, if bogus, academic credibility, arsing from the diligent comple- tion of structured interviews and sophisticated ques- tionnaires. There followed some very intricate da- ta-crunching, using techniques too complex to explain here, and then [drum roll] a print-out of possible sus- pects appeared on a beer mat on the table before us:

“Michael Oliver, Mike Dean, Mike Halsey and Howard Webb”

Ignoring (for present purposes) the suggestion that our model has an inherent bias against the name Michael (or derivatives thereof), it should be remembered that: a) this list has been rigorously peer-reviewed; and b) it’s probably as good as anybody else’s list. So, having reassured ourselves as to the validity of the process, let’s turn to the historical evidence.

Michael Oliver was only really ever included because of his baleful performance at in November 2010, when he sent off Pablo Ibanez in the 10th minute (for having been run into by D J Campbell), awarded Blackpool a penalty (for the non-existent foul) and then, in the 29th minute, sent off Gonzalo Jara (for, to be fair, having lost it completely). He also booked Scharner, Mulumbu and Cox. We lost 2-1 and what had started off as a brilliant season began to wobble. To be fair to Oliver, however: a) that brilliant start had included the only previous Premiership game of ours that he’d tak- en – viz the memorable 2-3 at the Emirates; and b) he’s refereed 16 of our games since and hasn’t dismissed any more of our players. So, it doesn’t look like he’s such a bête noir, after all. Mike Dean, on the other hand, has been in charge of 33 of our Premiership games, of which we’ve won 5, drawn 12 and lost 16. In the first of these, he -over saw our 2-1 defeat at on 12 December 2002. He gave a straight red to Villa’s Club Captain, Steve Staunton, for elbowing Danny Dichio. Koumas scored the Albion goal and received Albion’s first yellow card from Dean. Since then, he has shown us 55 yellows, 1 second yellow and 4 reds. His first Albion sending-off came in his third game in charge, against Fulham at the Hawthorns (10/09/04), when was giv- en a second yellow for a foul on Boa Morte, but not before Diop had been “given his marching orders” for shoving Clement. As Clement left the pitch, took a swing at him, earning Fulham a second sending off, which was capped off 3 minutes later, when Kanu popped up to grab an 88th minute equaliser. Dean went on to send off (at home against Middlesbrough on 26 February 2006, 0-2) and Gareth McAuley (, 7 November 2015, 2-0). The last game of ours that he refereed was the home game against Bournemouth at the end of last year. He gave a straight red to McClean for (according to the BBC) “scything down” Adam Smith in the 37th minute and a straight red to Rondon for “thrusting his forehead at” Dan Gosling in the 95th. In between, he awarded Bournemouth a penalty, after Fletcher had fouled Gos- ling, so far outside the penalty area that even the BBC noticed.

It is possible that Mike Halsey and/or the sainted How- ard Webb had even worse records, but we appear to have run out of space and will have to return to these giants of the game in a future issue. IN DEFENCE OF THE

By Nikolas Solomos

For much, if not all of my time the club’s ownership. Was there supporting the Albion, a thematic a conflicted interest in a rival? strand has reared its head in var- Was there any concrete evidence ious conversations, email threads of any delinquency? I could see and Match day chants. The terms none of these in my maturing as “Curly” and “Peace” appeared, to a fan, but, as I have matured, so my younger self, to be tools of a have my questions for the boy- frustrated trade, drawn upon in a cotters and the naysayers. Is it the peculiarly frequent fashion. 1970s northern guff, in the ilk of a cigar-smoking, pork-pie-hat-don- Today, as West Brom surpass the ning Sam Longson, that they han- yoyo years, which I remember ker for? Perhaps some of the more with intermittent fondness, we forward-looking detractors would exist comfortably at the cruising prefer the under-prop of an en- altitude of the Premier league. tire Middle Eastern petro-state? Comfortable it is not, however, Could it be the fiscal rigor of a for those seemingly fixated upon de-leveraged club that remains what little there is of executive consistently in the black that an- seating at the Hawthorns. tagonises the devoutly Keynesian section of our fan-base? It seems I have always wondered about the that much of the disdain for pres- root cause of aggression towards ent arrangements is rooted in the same nostalgia that yearns for ously dominated. Yes, we cannot the replacement of seating with gaze upon the sweat-less grace standing, of Stone Island with and heartless execution of a Bar- sheepskin, of Budweiser with the celona or Bayern Munich, but La Milk Marketing Board, of Ozil with Liga’s stop-gaps emanating from O’leary and of Lukaku with Lorim- provincial Spanish cities and the er. Germanic barrier to foreign in- vestment in the Bundesliga have Establishing the true cause of no siblings on our shores; a void some fans’ grumbling resentment that fails to keep me awake at of the club’s leadership, after a night. fifth uninterrupted season in the top flight, is difficult. At the time Rather, what preoccupies me is of writing, the club appears likely that I have been able to see the to secure its ‘Premiership’ status, likes of Ronaldo, Bale, Tevez, together with the inevitable rich- Owen, Gerrard, Van der Saar, es of a league into which, one can Ozil, Rooney and at times Bera- only conclude, television reve- hino walk out at the Hawthorns, nues will continue to pour. It does routinely. Conversations and not end with the effects of a per- mobile messaging threads with petual dogfight between the wid- my London-based cotemporar- ening pool of moneyed broadcast ies are filled with the excitement providers. With more affluence and banter that goes with the lev- will come the ability of the likes of el-pegedness of the nouveau Pre- West Ham, Watford, Leicester and miership. indeed The Albion to compete with Europe’s and indeed the We can see today what it looks world’s best for Europe’s and the like when our politics stages a world’s best talent. The relative 1970s revival; it would, perhaps, big boys’ floundering season can be an even greater shame if our only be explained by a rise in the football were to go the same way. quality of those they have previ- VOX POP Surveying London Baggies about our great leader

Last year we asked London Bag- We had 28 respondents with 54% gies if they approved of TP’s saying he was doing OK, all but appointment and he got a big one of the rest opting for “good” thumbs up. Over a year later he or “very good”. It seems that we has guided the side to Premier hare happy to survive without League safety twice but the club those long sleepless nights in has posted some of the most April and May but, as someone dodgy match stats in the League. recently put it, we are the least So, we thought it was time to re- worse team in the . visit our relationship with Uncle As for the quality of the football, Tony. Survey results always come 64% said it was “not easy on the with a health warning: this time eye but effective” - and that was the survey took place after a four after a few games when we re- game unbeaten run and immedi- corded shots on target. Some of ately before the awful home de- us had forgotten what they were. feat against Norwich. Should TP be at The 64% of Hawthorns next season? London Baggies say our football is

“not easy on 40.74% Yes the eye but 59.26% No effective” Are you happy with the style of football?

From the dark ages Not easy on the eyes but effective A curate’s egg

0 5 10 15 20 Anyway, at least we have next season to look forward to. Here at Baggie Shorts Towers we are expecting a lot of change and hopefully a lot of business in the pre-season period. We asked you what you hope for and this is what you said.

• A quality replacement for season (and I never thought I would Saido hear myself say that!) • We play attractive football • Yaya Toure - BUT the staying in the FA greed- • Quality in the left back posi- iership is the main priority, in these tion times. • More attacking style but only • Entertainment me you bug- if we have the right squad. gers • Better players • To play attractive attacking • Better atmosphere at The football Hawthorns (i.e. less complacency / • More shots on goal in more negativity in the stands). games • Move The Hawthorns & • Top ten finish and win the The Black Eagle pub, closer to New cup Street station. (Really? Eds) • Be more attacking/adventur- • Win the FA Cup ous • To win the FA Cup and do a • Yellow and green away kit.... Leicester (finish in top four) we are just ‘not red’! • CUP FINAL(S)! • To play like Leicester • At least try to play attractive Yes • Berahino stays alongside football and win games. Rondón • A Cup Final No • Albion to finish in a Europe- • Football played in a way an place which encourages fans to turn up • Saido stays and be entertained. • To play like Stoke have this • New manager. Q&A Kim Monney Some of us are born to be Baggies, others migrate and make an informed or, perhaps, a hopeful choice. Kim, however, was properly inducted to the faith and passed the course with flying blue and white colours.

Why The Baggies? just as passionate as us, dressed My lovely husband Paulie has in Baggies colours, cheering the supported the Baggies all his life. team on and singing cool songs. In marrying him I married into It was mind-blowing. WBA! Brummie, Smethwick, Halfords Your first game? Lane or West Stand? The first game I ever went to was Halfords Lane. Although I’ll con- at Wigan in 2012. Paulie and I fess I didn’t know until recently had flown from New Zealand, that it was officially called Hal- picked up a hire car at Heath- fords Lane. I figured it out after row and driven to Wigan just in ringing the ticket office to ask for time for kick off. Coming from seats in the Bryan Robson stand. NZ, where you mainly only hear They were very nice about it but about supporters of the big I suspect they had a chuckle clubs, I couldn’t believe it when I afterwards! saw a whole stand full of people Worst ever Albion manager? In the time I’ve known and been following the team, I never took to . I know a lot of the recent success has been built on what he achieved but I recall lots of one-nil results and a serious lack of entertainment. Hmmm...why does that sound familiar?

Your favourite all time player? Jonas Olsson.

Best away strip? The black on black stripes from a few seasons ago. I’m a Kiwi after all! Your pre-match superstition? Making sure Paulie is wearing his All time favourite match? lucky underwear & socks! West Ham in the Cup last season. We completely destroyed them and it was the best atmosphere Your favourite song or chant? Away at Manchester United I’ve experienced at The Haw- during my first season, ‘my thorns. garden shed is bigger than this’. Cracked me up for days! Super Bob or Super Kev? Super Bob, because he didn’t play for Villa. (Cyrille Regis tran- If you had the chance to have a scends this rationalisation!) drink or a meal with an ex-Bag- gie, who would it be and why? Cyrille Regis, because he’s Pau- Worst tat from the club shop? lie’s favourite ever player, I’ve All the pink stuff, half of it with heard so much about him, he’s a sparkly bits stuck on, supposed- legend for so many reasons and ly designed for women. Don’t because I know it would be an even get me started. amazing and meaningful experi- ence to meet him.