The Student Newspaper of Imperial College Nol026 28APR95 Smash and Carry DoC hit four times since Christmas

BY ANDREW SMITH throughout the floor indicated that 'no selectivity' was involved. With the paint not yet dry on The thieves got away with a total repairs made after a previous of eleven systems, including attack, Imperial College's Depart- eight highly valuable Power ment of Computing was stunned Mackintoshes. Six had been by two further organised raids on replaced only two weeks before. the Huxley Building over Easter. The previous raid was by a gang Following the plundering of well known to police to target a Computing in the early hours of number of London Colleges. Wednesday the 5th April, a man It is estimated that almost was arrested on Exhibition Road £250,000 worth of computer and is currently out on bail. In equipment has been stolen the other raid on Sunday the 9th recently from London edu- April, one of the criminals was cational institutions including Bill Goodwin, former FELIX editor and now freelance journalist, is pursued by a female security Birkbeck and King's Colleges, challenging English Law in the European Court of Human Rights this week, guard and a PhD student, but City University and the London writes Andy Sinharay. His is a test case which may force the British managed to escape after breaking School of Economics. With many Government to change the law to give journalists' sources greater protection. down a door. of London's Computing Depart- Bill had been a trainee with the trade paper 'The Engineer', when he The damage has been ments sharing a common received classified information regarding the alleged financial problems estimated at around £70,000 for insurance policy, Imperial Tetra Ltd, a private company. Tetra then asked him to identify his source, the first and more serious raid, in College's Computer Department order to sue for breach of confidence, but Mr Goodwin refused. He was found which at least two male suspects is about to spend up to £30,000 to guilty of contempt of court and fined £5000, telling FELIX that he had gained entry to the building boost the security on Level 4 of escaped a possible jailing 'because of the publicity'. Now backed by the through the maintenance area on their building. National Union of Journalists and other organisations, Mr Goodwin has the ground floor. Twenty four FELIX has learnt that the brought a case to the European Court. He argues that English Law violates doors on the fourth floor in the department is considering the the European Human Rights Convention by threatening Journalists with Huxley Building were broken, use of so-called Fibre Loops as fines and imprisonment for keeping their sources secret. Representing many only having been fully well as passive Infra Red Goodwin, Geoffrey Robertson QC argued that this was "obnoxious in repaired the previous day by Detectors, Microwave Detectors society". As FELIX was going to press no judgement had been given. workmen. and Video Cameras in an attempt The apparent coincidence of to secure every office on Level 4 equipment will be affected by keep entry 'as is'. Student access repair work completing on one and to keep both their insurers these latest raids. Increasing may have to be looked at again in day and a comprehensive pill- and College happy. The funding levels of security may however future if suggestions that ram aging taking place immediately needed for this is expected to be threaten to student access to raids and the use of power drills afterwards has prompted some to spread over two year's budgets, facilities. Mr Murphy emph- to assault college buildings prove point to an 'inside job'. This with money likely to come from asised that a balance between correct. theory has been discounted by the department's own Security, defence against criminals and In the second of the raids the both Terry Briley, Deputy Head Contingency and Refurbishment computer availability for intruders might have wrought Budgets as well as Imperial of Security, and Jim Murphy, students has always been striven equally serious damage but for College's Contingency Budget. Head of the Computing Support for. the vigilance of a postgraduate Group. With the department's The present 24 hour access student who was working in the Mr Murphy suggested that insurance covering the loss of for postgraduate students is 'kept building at the time. Following while the thieves were 'clearly equipment it appears unlikely under review' but at this point reports of people wandering well informed', their damage that procurement plans for future the department would like to (Continues on page 2)

13 news one&two&three editorial&credits three incoming five s-files: space filler seven clued up eight feature: self immolation and IC's arts magazine nine feature: The Bryan Appleyard Interview ten&eleven xtra curricular: twelve&thirteen standby sixteen&seventeen eight day guide eighteen&nineteen sport: where are the boys (and girls) of summer? twenty E3 News News in Brief Rector's Reward Following the recent drop in IC's funding (FELIX 1023) the Rector, Professor Sir Ron Oxburgh, has declined to follow the Vice Chancellor of Manchester University's lead who insisted that his shortfall would not result in any staff redundancies. While empha- sising that he did not 'forsee' any layoffs Prof Oxburgh said that he "could not possibly responsibly give such an undertaking".

Speaking to FELIX the The annual Inter-Continental Varsity Championships were held over the Easter break, writes Bryan CrotazRecto, and ther seeme d at ease with a Imperial College Dance Club excelled themselves. Whilst individual couples won many trophies throughoutrecen thet surveweeky ito f college heads' was in the three team competitions that brought them greatest success. IC won first prizes in the best Studentsalaries whicTeamh placed him in Match and, surprisingly, the American Style Team Match - which involved competing against teams from13t acrossh position the . He pointed out USA! Finally, to complete their hat-trick, they dressed up in monkey and elephant costumes and scooped thathe tremaining in assumin g his present role, first prize, the Cabaret Team Match. With the heat in the costumes reaching a more than uncomfortablewhic level,h see ones hi m presiding over a member commented "Anyone who doesn't think dancing is athletic should try that one!" budget of £165M, he had taken a wage cut. Sir Ronald suggested that following the expected medical merger there may be as many as thirty or forty college Naked Pride Over Exposed employees earning more than him. BY JON JORDAN that there was little the staff ceremonies practised by the could have done to halt drinking clubs of the Constituent Crime Prevention Week The less reputable side of proceedings because 'by the time College Unions. Sources have Burglars beware. Imperial Imperial's reputation has been you get there it's over'. However, told FELIX that the incident in College's Crime Prevention further enhanced recently with a the two individuals concerned question was a 'Links' Club Week begins on Monday. The display of 'national pride' in were asked to leave the bar (they initiation. Links is the official regular bi-annual event has run Southside bar. were judged to be in a drunken drinking club of the City & for the past ten years and, says The incident in question state and it is illegal to serve Guilds College Union. Local Community Officer PC occurred on the 23rd of March, drunk customers) and told to Another episode last term Clive Coleman, is always well the last Thursday of the spring come back the following day again saw naked Linksmen on attended. term. Two men climbed onto a when they had sobered up. "They the loose, this time in Beit Quad. The Week centres on a table and proceeded to remove apologised and said it wouldn't The so-called 'quad run' broke display in the Sherfield Building their clothing, leading to a happen again" said Pownall. the rules laid down by the Union Ante Room. It will incorporate display of genitalia whilst the When asked if this sort of thing as the initiants failed to keep advice stalls, crime prevention national anthem was being sung was a regular occurrence, he their boxer shorts on, nor were information and also free cycle by their companions. Following replied "it's the first time it's the Union and the Biology coding. The display will be this, a complaint was made by happened for eighteen months". Department aware that it was manned from Monday, 1st May Caroline Garaway, a female Lucy Chothia, ICU Pre- going to take place. In the to Friday, 5th May from 10am to research student, to the South- sident, said that it is Union circumstances this proved 4pm. side Bar Manager, Mr Roger policy that people are not allowed unfortunate as Biology had an PC Coleman believes the Pownall, and also circulated to to strip in public places and that admissions day at the same time. information available will appeal the Student's Union and FELIX they "wouldn't get away with it The effect on the prospective both to staff and students alike. (see Incoming on page 5). around here [the Union bar]". students, some of whom had "We give good advice to students Mr Pownall was on duty the Much of the problem seems their parents with them, is not - we can give advice on property night of the incident. He claimed to stem from the initiation known. marking, personal security and more," he told FELIX. Further (Smash & Carry continues) used earlier that week. In both security guard called for information is available from around the department the raids it is believed that this was immediate backup. Sherfield Security or from Clive previous Friday, the student, who the criminals' method of entry to In the few minutes before himself on: 0171-321 6920. had already lost one computer, the building and that the raiders extra personel arrived, the confronted and pursued the two had planned to use this as their intruder managed to break open Television Awards thieves. means of escape. the double front doors of the STOIC, Imperial's own Student Incredibly one of the thieves The second criminal was department, which had prev- Television station, had good managed to escape by the same chased to the Security Lodge at iously appeared to be locked, and cause to celebrate with the news route through the ground floor the front door of the Huxley to make his escape out onto that it had picked up two prizes maintenace area that had been Building where the female Queensgate. in the National Association of (continued overleaf) JlTM FELIX 28APR9S News Chaplain Ascends NUS Referendum

|YJONJORDAN 'student expert'. In addition, BY ANDY SINHARAY been financing the anti- Paul said that "jacking up the campaigners. The head of the Imperial College chaplain Paul Internet side of things" would be With the Imperial College Union anti-NUS affiliation campaign, Brice surprised the College this high on his agenda. "It's weird," (ICU) referendum on affiliation Sarah Thomas, told FELIX that week with the news that, after six he said "but I don't feel like I'm to the NUS fast approaching, they were receiving money, but years, he will soon be leaving the leaving Imperial. I'll be cycling there is much confusion over the from a source who wished to West London Chaplaincy. past it every day and I'll still be sources of funding for the 'pro' remain anonymous. "I'm not Paul, who recently won first involved in higher education". and 'anti' campaigns. The two directly involved with the prize in the 'freestyle' section of Paul is presently trying to groups were formed at the end of funding" she said, "[but] we're IBM's 'Leonardo da Vinci' develop his multi-media 'Virgin last term to present both sides of reasonably well organised." She multi-media competition, is of the Unbelievable' carol service the argument to the student did indicate that their source moving to become the Secretary for use in a cathedral setting body. Each campaign is allowed wished to 'keep a low profile'. for Higher Education / Chap- whilst in June he will be giving a to spend up to £160 promoting A spokesperson for the NUS laincy for the General Synod of one day workshop on 'Medium their case. told FELIX that whilst they the Church of England. He will and Worship' to a conference of There have been rumours supported the pro-campaigners, be based in Church House, European Chaplains. that the National Conservative saying that it would be "nice to Westminster but will spend There will be a farewell Students organisation might have everybody in the club", they much of his time visiting Univer- 'wine and nibbles' evening for fund the anti-affiliation would not directly fund the sity chaplaincies nationwide. Paul starting at 5.30pm on campaign. Andrew Reid of proponents. According to Lucy Mr Brice will be concerned Tuesday 9th May at the 'Solar Conservative Central Office told Chothia, ICU President, the pro- with issues in higher education Room and Gardens', 170 Queens FELIX: "I think they're doing a campaign group will not be such as student finance, the Gate. Those wishing to attend very good job running their receiving cash from the NUS as pastoral side of Chaplaincy care should notify the Chaplaincy on campaign at the moment ... I there would appear to be no and generally being the Synod's extension 49600. hope they succeed." comparable source for the anti- He added that he felt the campaign lobby. However the (News in Brief continues from page 2) NUS should be a common forum pro-campaign may be receiving Student Television Awards. First out on second prize in the 'News for representation for all publicity material directly from prize in the 'Best Station Ident' and Current Affairs' category. His students, irrespective of their the NUS, the monetary value of category went to Robin Riley, a entry, 'Election '95' was described political sympathies. Mr Reid which would be deducted from second year physics student. His by the judges as a 'report of high said that it should also provide their £160 allowance. imaginative piece for STOIC is quality'. Mr Massarella later said value for money, something he Of the referendum itself, based on frenetic movements he was glad that: "the hard work wasn't sure "it had been for the she said: "It's important that across a tube map. that many people have put into last couple of years." However he everyone votes, and finds out as Carlo Massarella, STOIC's the station over the year has come did not indicate whether much as they can to form an News Editor, narrowly missed up with good results". Conservative Central Office has objective opinion."

student newspaper. This term there is still time! And you will Credits becomes a crisis of self-doubt, of get an even more joyous reception realising your insignificance in in the office than you would have Editor Owain Bennallack Welcome back to college and to the face of your writers doing in the crowded months before, Printer Andy Thompson the wonderful world of the exams, no news because nobody is although my lone cries of thanks Assistant Printer Jeremy Thomson summer term. I always used to around to make any and half may sound a little spooky in the Business Manager Tim Bavister Advertising Manager Wei Lee enjoy this term because after the collected piles of FELICES silence that echoes in FELIX cold splash of the exams there was littering the corridors until some TOWERS. Editorial Team just this long float down into the kind hearted cleaner takes pity Art & Literature Jon Jordan and kerosenes the lot. lethargic waters of the summer Where does all the money go? Cinema Wei Lee holidays. Departments attempt to So we will be shrinking a In the light of recent cuts in Clubs, Societies & Union Piers Daniell maintain their inordinate levels little this term: I want to provide Union funding (because, we are Columns Marcus Alexander of fear by setting end-of-year relevant(ish) stuff rather than assured, the whole college is Features Kate Cox projects but usually in even the relevant stuff with a few pages of being affected by HEFCE cuts) Layout and Design Jon Jordan most diligent case the post-exam substandard material to boost the we may require new fund-raising Music Vik Bansal News The News Team student calculates how many size. (And with inadequate efforts lest FELIX becomes a Photography Ivan Chan & Diana Harrison marks they are worth: whilst funding from the Union as paper stunted kitten forever. With the Puzzles Tim St Clair lying on the Queen's Lawn prices rise, it'll provide a useful economy picking up, I shall soon S-Flles Rebecca Mileham wondering when to start. With model of 'restraint'). be popping down to 'Our Eight Day Guide Jeremy Thomson one half of the student populace But all those people out there Computers R Yours' warehouse Sport Juliette Decock and Mark Baker revising and the other half who either promised me things on Queensgate where I hear credit Standby Jon Jordan reclining Imperial finally seems a and never wrote them, or facilities are good and top-range Editorial Assistance nice place be... promised themselves that they equipment is available to all. Collating Last Week would contribute something but Everyone seems to be moving Jon Jordan, Paul Dias, into the computer market these My woes (of course) never promised me (this is Mark Baker, Jeremy T days and if you can't beat them... UNLESS you are the editor of the starting to sound incestuous) - Typing Jon Jordan

28HPR95 FELIX MM Do you know anyone who deserves ICU Colours if so all Colours nominations must be handed in to the Union Office by 5th May 11 mi in 11! MAKE AN INFORMED DECISION GO TO THE NUS HUSTINGS THURSDAY 4TH MAY AT 12.00 IN MECHANICAL ENGINEERING LECTURE THEATRE ROOM 220 Incoming

Doors... Club Guide... Punters Strip... The FELIX letters page? ^QQQQm value for money, night out in evening out in the wilderness dropped their trousers and pants, Union's Door London. To enable you to carry on somewhere than it is at IC, with our and proceeded to parade their getting this we would advise you 'residents'. And 1500 is only 20% of genitalia around to everyone in the Policy that: the total student populace. bar for the duration of the national anthem that was being sung Dear Editor, 1: To guarantee that you get in around them. My colleagues I would like to clear up the on a Friday night - get here early. (male&female) and I found this confusion amongst some of our 2: Should you be refused both distressing & degrading. What students regarding the right of entrance - either because we have Club Guide made the situation worse was that admission to the Union Building on reached capacity or because you Dear Felix reader, those working in the bar did a Friday night and the reason that, are deemed to have drunk too Are you the chairman of a club nothing to stop the activity and in on occasion, we have to refuse much - (it is a legal requirement or society? If so, check your Union fact I had the impression they entry. that we refuse entry to anyone we pigeon hole NOW! I am editing 'believe' to be drunk) please leave thought it was both acceptable & The Local Authority Fire Officer the 1995 iCU handbook and, if the area as quickly and quietly as entertaining. I'm afraid I didn't. sets an official limit on the you would like a mention in the possible. numbers using buildings. This is clubs & socs guide, you'll have to I have never made a formal based on the size of the area, 3. Don't jeopardise the license send me some information! All the complaint about anything in my width of stairs, number of fire exits by disturbing local residents either details are on the letter which life and having been in a etc. Three years ago, after before, during or after an event. should be in your pigeonhole - if University establishment for many consultation with the police, the Remember - we want to you don't have one, drop a note in years now, am well used to the Union decided that it would NOT entertain you in a safe, happy the "Handbook Editor"'s hole, or obnoxious behaviour of groups of operate a 'one in, one out policy'. environment but we can't do it email me (h.windsor@ic .ac.uk). sportsmen after matches. This, This was agreed in order to reduce without your help. We should think The deadline for entries is Friday however, went to far. I would like the risk of our students disturbing of others while we are enjoying 1 9th May, so get writing now! to know why such behaviour, which would result in arrest and local residents or causing a ourselves. Thank you for listening. criminal prosecution anywhere else nuisance by having late night Mark Helen-Louise Windsor queues in Prince Consort Road. It Events & Publicity Manager in the UK, is apparently condoned in Southside Bar. I trust that you also reduces the risk of outsiders You'll also need to supply Helen- will look into this matter urgently & seeing a queue and trying to get It seems a shame that one area Louise with a photo and remember take steps to prevent it happening into, what is, a Private Event. where the Union is successfully that she will be editing the entries in the future. I would like to think The bottom line is - once we reaching a lot of students should of 720 clubs and societies (together that standards at IC are not above are up to capacity - that's it for the become a victim of its own success. with the rest of the handbook) so the criminal and, after all, why night. Safety obviously must come first, don't say things like 'But you could should the majority of drinkers at but the downside is that perhaps have phoned us' if you fail to write If the Union wishes to continue the Southside Bar just have to put people are dissuaded from an entry or, 'You could have to be allowed bar extensions we up with it? must maintain our good attending the Union at all, thinking: checked that with us' if she gets the relationship with local residents. 'well, we won't get in anyway'; odd detail wrong. Sorry, handbook Yours faithfully, This, of course, includes those maybe this was the reason for the editors get a lot of grief: a bugbear Caroline Garaway living in Beit Hall. Anyone using non-sellout attendance on the last in my bonnet. Be nice. (PhD Research Student) the Union Building must respect day of last term? I guess what we the needs of those living in Beit need is a big multi-sectioned venue, cc The Student Union President Hall and the surrounding area by that can be closed off as necessary. Felix Editor minimising noise when entering or But the residents are a different Full Frontal leaving the building. problem. It's obviously easier to Caro//ne, where have you been? cater for 7500 students of an This is, I've been told, an IC MAN at We are trying to offer the best, Clientele his finest. Beit Quad on a rare Dear Sir/Madam, Friday afternoon is host to a Enclosed is a letter I have today wonderful display of naked male [24th March 1995] sent to the FELIX DEADLINES flesh jiggling, downed pints flying - manager of Southside Bar. I don't coming back out again - and know if this is something you are general beery laddishness. These letters - monday 6pm interested in following up, but I blokes are all perfectly decent thought I'd let you know about the you must bring your id card along too usually, so is it the beer or the situation. A bit of bad publicity rugby balls? (I've never understood might go a long way or might at clubs and societies' articles - friday 6pm why men have their malehood least make some people think you should limit these to 250 words. If you want to write more, doubted because they don't like a about the consequences of their sweaty hairy male arse shoved in please come in and see us first. actions - or is this hoping for too their face. And the number of girls much? reviewers' meeting - mondays 1 pm who've been interested in me Yours faithfully, for music, cinema, theatre, clubs, art because I'm game to - in any social Caroline Garaway situation - get my 'bits' out for the news meeting - mondays 6pm (Phd Research Student) lads I could count on my, errr, for all potential news animals collection of Sports caps). [letter follows] These normally sensible and features meeting - Wednesday 1 pm likeable individuals will further if you've got ideas for features or want to be given them, this is The Manager argue that their display is part of Southside Bar IC's 'heritage'. your FELIX meeting Of course! Hush now, I think I Dear Sir/ Madam, hear Huxley singing 'four and I am writing to express my twenty virgins' in his grave... Photocopying deepest disgust for activities We can offer three A4 photocopying rates depending on the occurring in Southside Bar on Letters may be commented Thursday 24th March between amount you want to do. on by a guest editor, whose 6pm & 7pm. Whilst sitting with opinions are not necessarily up to 1 00 copies from one original - 5p per copy colleagues for a drink after work, those of the editor, and cut between 100 to 300 from one original - 4p per copy two male students stood up on the due to space restrictions. over 300 from one original - 3.5p per copy table 5 yards away from me, Deadline: Monday 6.00pm.

28RPR95 FELIX EH iCTJente & bwtwi present a night of debauchery & blood...

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Two months ago, the Space 1 S-files interviewed Brian Wingfield, a SPACE SILLER #1 I research assistant in Imperial's Space Physics Shuttle launched three balls and 3? Astronaut Mike \ department: three pieces of wire into the Collins left his | You're involved in an experiment that will space lanes. Was it a mistake? Hasseblad camera j be carried into space by Ariane 5 at the Had the astronauts added six " behind during the f "* Gemini 10 flight j end of this year. Are you concerned about new items to the 7000 pieces of artificial space in 1965 \ space junk? junk that are known to clutter the skies? j It's something we might chat about in the pub, but it's In fact, the deliberately oddly-shaped metal | not something I feel too worried about. Space debris is objects are intended to teach ground-based scientists what such things look I inevitable because of the way satellites are launched. We'll like as they whirl in their orbits at seven kilometres per second. Assuming | have to clear it up before it gets too dangerous, but the j number of successful launches is as is expected at the that they didn't lose sight of the 5cm diameter balls the minute they let them j moment. go, scientists will be able to use the data to learn how to track objects so small j Do you feel that the new experiment to track small as to be invisible to current radar systems - and yet so deadly they could j debris is a signal that debris is becoming a more destroy a satellite. : serious problem? Below, the facts about space debris. How much is there? How did it get I don't think it has much significance, really. It just there? What threat does it pose to future plans? \ depends when the money comes along to do the J experiment. In theory the small space junk is a problem, And on the right, the view of one scientist who - for the moment - \ but there's so much space you're not likely to bump into it. doesn't feel much urgency about the issue. Read them both and make up your \ Do you worry that if money has to be spent on own mind. \ clearing up space junk then your funding might be S-files j reduced? I I think extra money would be found from somewhere. The vast emptiness of \ So space junk isn't that bad after all? space is actually pretty j Space junk is really a problem that we're creating for crowded according to \ ourselves. It wouldn't take a very the graph on the right, I large piece of debris to cause quite /hich shows the I a lot of damage at those speeds. SPACE Flft.ER #2' ' fourteen-fold increase | But if a piece of junk hit a launch, it E£l White lost, * \ in pieces of space debris between | would just be bad luck, really. his glove while ' | 1960 and 1988 (numbers represent I You don't feel your experiment on a spface | thousands). \ is at risk, then? Space debris in low orbits j On the whole I tend to think | eventually burns up as it drags on the \ that someone else takes the space I outer atmosphere. Some debris in \ junk into account in the launches. j unstable orbits flies off into outer j space. But thousands of pieces remain, | and the number is likely to keep § increasing, according to a paper | published this month in the Journal of j the British Interplanetary Society. I The author reports findings | which show that "the number of 16% ! fragments will continue to grow and ji Number of pieces of space junk (in thousands) ; I; i so present an increasingly hostile between 1960 and 1988 : } \ environment". Where do these \ fragments come from? is powerless to stop objects more Since 1961, 116 satellites have than 1cm across. And so the scene is \ broken up in the sky. The worst set for catastrophic collisions. j | single episode was the explosion of A few complete satellites have \ j an Ariane rocket third been retrieved by the Objects in earth's orbit— Space Shuttle, but | stage in 1986, which j .SPACE FILLER #3- only active satellites ( where did they come from? | alone contributed 461 .jf An electric can be manoevred jtrackable pieces of f'~ screwdriver. 145% fragments into safety. There are | \ debris. was left behind in 21% inactive payioads no current projects to j Currently, objects space after a satellite clean the sky of all ; \ 16% upper stages smaller than 10cm repair in 1984 the smaller pieces of I | across are invisible to \ 12% mission related litter. I radar. Satellite shielding 6% payioads

28RPR9S FELIX HGQ Clued Up

Frater Fiam writes such a quest would be futile from the outset; they might be correct, but the Frater considered futility to be an useful utility, a tool which could bring him closer to his goal. Such was the nature of his foolishness. He explored the abberations of human normality, and each expedition led him deeper into the confusion that he found. The soul of society is indeed wounded and unsound, and thus his seeking could only bring him further from his goals. There could Your good Frater sits in his cell, be no end to such a task. staring at the inscriptions littering The end came not from his the walls. He has become quest, but from his eventual incarcerated by the endings of abandonment of it. This was not RADIO FOR Itif Dfflf untruth and doubt. As you no through failure, but was an act of doubt are aware, he was a man success. He discovered answers whose life was devoted to the which questioned his method of quest, his search for fulfillment in fulfillment, and realised its flaws. understanding. He sought to know And thus he, your humble Frater, the world. The ending of this quest chose to become imprisoned in a was not due to his achieving his chamber of constancy, with only aim, his attainment of fulfillment. the inscriptions on the walls to He was arrested by the lure of his provide him with respite. And thus, prison cell. harnessed and with peace, shall Until the present time, his he remain. existence had been one of doubt; "Put all the images in a state of seeking for the certainty language in a place of safety and that he considered could be make use of them, for they are in provided by answers. He sought the desert, and it's in the desert the understanding, the meanings that we must go and look for ~7l-t£ "7lEL£KiM6.T/o CntYS CLV?>. with which life could hold to some them." kind of sense. Some might say that —Jean Genet

huh? Luckily she walked past the fjreiieffi^iofi communal bit in the changing room and snuck in a cubicle to try on her kinky leather trousers. A relief for me but this tale brings he most creative aspect of Shallower rewards than only disappointment from a male having a McJob is justifying enlightenment however, include audience. T being in one. A twenty hour the opportunity to be that moody, week gives me ample time to read mouthy, snobbish, know all, intim- Generation X: Douglas Coupland's book and idating Sales Assistant, as well as This is a book by Douglas Coupland watch 'Slacker' (again & again) the chance to spot a familiar face. which described the behaviour of a yet, when inevitably bumping into Within a week of starting at Miss generation which he called 'X' past acquaintances, I still find Selfridge I spotted Paul Weller (hence the title of the book). It as myself calling on "time off to reclining on a fixture in d fluffy become a modern 'lifestyle' classic travel". pink jumper, a matronly and very Rather than suspect I haven't brunette Samantha Fox and half a Generation Y: the courage of my convictions, I dozen assorted sitcom actors. This is primarily an invention by the find I just surf the pretensions and, Still I wasn't quite prepared for Independent newspaper which er, generally try and make the indie royalty. Despite the years describes the behaviour of a most of it. So, does a tedious job since Harriet Wheeler (the generation which it called 'Y' stimulate your thought processes? Sundays) came & went (again) I (hence the title). Determined Could my humble shop job be a wasn't prepared for her maturity attempts to find an example of this spiritual route of intellectual self- and total lack of quirky insecure generation have met with failure depravation, a daily ritual of indiekidness (life goes on and however, which suggests that like monotonous activities & 'shop talk' indiekids grow up ... shit) the 'typical Independent reader', mantras? Well... no. The person On disillusionment, there can they are merely a figment of the responsible for that idea obviously be nothing more shattering than editor's imagination. hasn't stuck at a boring job for seeing the ethereal Alison Shaw longer than a few days. (the Cranes) in her underwear. Isabel Ml FELIX 28RPR95 Phoenix BHH The Joys of Self Immolation

(BLACK EYE together. As you get with it, your mind tunes into the higher layers, the snares LINER) and high hats, and then the bleep riffs. (BLEEDING Each layer of music makes the dance more complex, and the focus of the mind rises HEARTS) higher. This happens with all music, but You are watching the way he dances, the the beauty of rave music is that there is way he moves on the floor. At a glance he nothing at the top. No lyrics, no melody. could be like any other, but there is No focus. So when you reach the highest He thinks momentarily, thinking that his something that makes him stand out. point in the music, you leave. This is the eyeliner is dripping. In the flash of the Maybe the purity of his movements, moment of transcendence. There is no strobe his hand, dripping with sticky maybe the pale, taut skin that is stretched music, no body, no mind. That is what it's sweat, looks red, deep scarlet. He keeps too tightly across his face, or the lank hair all about, that pure spiritual high. Of dancing, just dancing, and looking at his that he sweeps back repeatedly to remove course, there are those fuck-off blinding hand in the flicker of the strobes. It is it from his forehead. Mostly though it is strobes as well, but they're a different blood, he sees, blood flooding out through his eyes. They are staring too fixedly story. the skin. Leaking from the pores. The ahead, not registering anything apart from rhythm hits him even louder, and he the lights, and that demented brain in the pushes his body hard. The ruby flow corner. They are a pale blue, bright, and streams down his cheeks, through his pale underscored by a thick black eyeliner lips. The blood glows in the harsh pencil. He is moving, shifting to the heavy (STARING AT chemical glare. Beneath his clothes he can pulse of the music in an unnervingly feel the clinging stickiness, the heat of the prefect manner. Sweeping his sweaty hair THE BRAIN) fluid seeping out. It drips into his eyes, from his underlined eyes, his movement and those strobes glow pink. The music is becomes part of the dance. there, and he moves.

You watch him staring at that insane brain in the corner of the room. A huge (BURNOUT) (THE RAVE plastic thing, translucent and packed chock full of strobe lights. The whole ETHOS) thing throbs epileptically above the floor, a giant neural spasm. He can feel the It is too hot, the floor is beginning to rhythm shaking through his body, roast, but he keeps on moving. The beat is Rave music is a spiritual thing. Those sad drumming against his limbs and driving always there, relentless. The epileptic crowds who judder and sway on ecstacy him faster. All he can see is that brain, and brain is flashing brighter, dazzling him, and bad acid, loving and claiming to live, all he can feel is the endless twitch of his the strobes taking over his blood-leaked know nothing about it. The dance is a muscles as they echo the sounds in his visual field. It is pounding him, blinding sacrament. They knew that back in the head. There is nothing there for him his eyes with sun borne heat. He shuts decade before the E-heads appropriated except the beat, and it is dragging him them blind, feeling the burning the music and debased it. Their clouded faster into itself. He jerks his arms faster temperature behind his lids. Raising his thoughts are nothing, worthless words. and pumps his legs, moving 'cos that's all hands with the sub-bass, the flames arch The rhythm is all important, the that he has left. The sweat is streaming out. His black eyeliner is scorched in the repetition is the tool for ascension. When down his face. He keeps wiping the sweat flow. A sudden ball of fire envelopes his you start to dance, you start to move, your away, but it is pouring out of his body. He body, and then dies. The crowd forms a body is focussing on the basic rhythm, the scrapes his hand across his forehead as he circle around the flames as they subside, thump-thump-thump of the bass. This is dances, but something makes him hold it watching a curl of black ash dance in the the bottom line, holding everything steady. The colour. light of the demented brain

PHOENIX, the college's annual arts magazine, is bursting into life once more with an issue phoenix.. scheduled for the end of this term. In order to make this happen we need contributions: poetry prose artwork fiction imagery concepts photography

Please send your words, images and concepts to the FELIX office. The deadline for submissions is 25 MAY 1995. Editor: Marcus Alexander, mech eng UG ([email protected])

r28HPR95 FELIX MM Feature Feature

things he isn't qualified to'. A Culture Vulture and This scientific over-reaching partly resulted from such statements as the infamous Titbits 'knowing the mind of God' and, when linked with talk of 'Unified Theories', gave the the Meat of Science impression that science was not the only truth in theory but would soon become the By his own admission Bryan Appleyard is a complete truth in practice. writer without a genre. "I'm always criticised As Appleyard explains: "I just wanted Following the for being an interloper," he says when I ask to write a history which pointed out that about his newest foray, a novel called 'First there was an alternative history, not a publication of his book Church of the New Millennium'. "I'm in the triumphalistic history of science that had wrong genre again, but I'm always in the always been written, but this history of 'Understanding the wrong genre." science which was a threat to people. Martin Of course that could be considered par Amis called it a 'history of increasing Cinema Violence "Hilariously, the British censors have Present' three years ago, for the course when you make your living as a humiliation' and in some senses it is." been in such a quandary about this newspaper feature writer (the Sunday Times) So is he pessimistic about our film [Natural Born Killers] that they Bryan Appleyard has and weekly columnist (the Independent). The technologically driven future? "It's much have invited Stone over to London to paradox of this situation, writing about things easier to be pessimistic if you're a journalist justify his work. Perhaps they should become something of a you only know about because you supposed to cos it's more fun," he starts. "But I am also stipulate that he should turn up be writing about them, is something he freely temperately pessimistic". As readers of his at every performance to explain his cause celebre among acknowledges. "I mean in some respects if I column in the Independent will be aware, higher motives in case audiences wasn't a journalist maybe I wouldn't think Appleyard has switched his attention from leave the cinema labouring under the scientists; the man they about these things but because I spend my 'pure' science to the impact of things like Philistine misconception that his film time having to write comment ... I've got to Information Technology. Recently he's was just bloody good fun." love to hate. Jon Jordan actually think about what I write." interviewed Bill Gates of Microsoft and has So when he ventured into that most written about the UK launch of the internet met him at his dangerous of fields, popular science writing, magazine 'Wired'. Blackheath home, and for his book 'Understanding the Present - He talks about a techno-hippy he met science and the soul of modern man' he was from Microsoft's Advanced Consumer Western Idealism "It's like the argument that we ran out on a limb again. In the book he aimed to Products Department, who was convinced found a man whose the slave trade. Actually the Africans expose the damage he felt science was doing that their new handheld computer would and the Arabs ran the slave trade, we to Western society, but in actuality he result in an evolutionary jump for mankind. criticisms of science are stopped it. I don't want the anti- unearthed a seething mass of vitriolic Whilst Appleyard admits that the arguments science view to be taken as an anti- scientists. Appleyard laughs. "I remember of Gates' techno-priests are seductive, he still systematic of what he Western view." saying to the publishers when they bought it is concerned that our obsession with the new sees as a deeper malaise for a surprisingly large sum: 'I'm delighted age of technology is out of control. you bought it, but you're mad, it won't even Much of his unease is specifically get reviewed'." - the possible death of concentrated on the current ahistorical Prince Charles However the book's publication also thinking which has become associated with Instead of trying to build tacky western culture itself... coincided with a BBC series called 'Pandora's these technologies. "I wrote about 'Wired' pseudo-villages he should train as an Box' and a book by the Newcastle University magazine - and those guys are mad" he says. architect. Instead of visiting Bengalis philosopher Mary Midgely; both of which Then he stops. "No, those guys are very in the East End, he should be running were strongly critical of aspects of modern nice!" he laughs before continuing, "These their textile factories. Instead of science. Scientists were particularly sensitive guys are Pol Pot and Year Zero. They're handing out money 'to the to such attacks as the Government were just saying there's too much history in the world; community' he should be finding out starting consultations for a white paper on we want to start again. Starting again has a how it is made in the City, in Tyneside science funding. "It was said, quite seriously thought, journalists get trashed like this all Ironically, the inspiration for very bad reputation, it used to result in a lot or, after learning Japanese, in Tokyo. that I was an agent of the Tory Government the time, lawyers get trashed like this all the 'Understanding the Present' was sparked of dead bodies." Why not? He has nothing else to do. aiming to cut science funding," says time and teachers get trashed like this all the when Bryan Appleyard spent a day inter- Most importantly at the core of all The supposedly 'hectic' life of royalty Appleyard incredulously. "It was actually time. You know every institution is exposed viewing Stephen Hawking, just before 'A Appleyard's arguments is the view that is a comfortable lie..." seriously said." to public trashing now and then. Scientists Brief History' was published. Western civilisation and culture are Another aspect of the reaction which he can't take it - what's the problem?" "He was unnecessarily impatient about something worthy of being defended. found surprising was the extent to which This situation was made even more certain questions," says Appleyard "and it "Although I'm dubious about the West's the Origins of scientists worked as a coherent social and interesting because at that time science had seemed to me that he was taking a highly capacity to cope with technological Environmentalism professional group. "I kind of assumed that never been more popular. Despite the fact facile view of the philosophy of science. In development, I'm not anti the western "[In the Sixties] Environmentalism scientists were all discrete units and locked that no-one could read past the forty second fact he [Hawkin] says disgracefully in his tradition", he remarks. "I'm very much pro filled the psychological vacuum away," he says. "I wasn't really talking about page, Stephen Hawkin's 'A Brief History of second book that all philosophers of science the western tradition." created by the twin feelings of them. I was talking about the idea of science. Time' had become the intellectual status are failed scientists". A few days later he As he writes at the end of the column impotence and mistrust. It gave But it turned out that they all talked to each symbol to have on your shelf. Its best-selling returned to interview Hawkin's now ex-wife concerning 'Wired' magazine: "The danger of people something to do and a way of other ... certainly the ones who get the exploits had also opened the way for the who is also a devote Anglican. Bryan was the technocrat's Year Zero is the same as thinking that would express their microphone and publicity". Later he found complexity of modern cosmology, the amazed to hear her say that she thought her every other. It lies in the hubristic belief that disappointment and fear. At its worst out that BBC producer of'Pandora's Box' had indeterminancies of quantum theory and the husband was doing things that he wasn't history is a mess and ought to be forgotten. it emerged as sanctimoniously radical been blacklisted, with scientists telling each flashing patterns of chaos to be 'explained' to qualified to do. "Without adopting her But however bad the machine-age world is, it politics; at its best it freed people of other not to appear on the programme. the general public. You would have thought religious perspective I sort of agreed," he is not as bad as it might be, precisely because the dangerous illusion that they could that scientists would have felt securer. "I was amazed," Appleyard recalls. "I recalls. "Later I thought 'well he is doing we remembered history." Q do what they liked" f FELIX 28HPR3B 28APB9S FELIX 1 are up on the OSC notice board on the Sherfield Walkway. You can contact the people that have been doing the jobs this year and they will be more than happy to explain their duties to you. The posts are: 1) Chairman; The chairman has the ultimate responsibility of representing the international students of IC to the Union and the College. This is achieved by sitting on various College committees and most of the Union decision making bodies and liaising with the Union Sabbaticals and College Staff including the Rector, Pro-Rector and Registrar. The chairman also has the control of the OSC executive committee, runs the meetings and delegates jobs to the OSC officers. There's more to this post than is possible to describe here so do come and have a chat with us about it; current chairman is Andreas Mershin, Physics 2. 2) Vice Chairman: helps the chair and provides the link between the chair and the engine screaming its tits off behind you, no rest of the OSC members. The duties are balanced person would say it was slow. highly flexible and include the organisation I could make claims that hover crafting of events and others; current vice-chair is will enrich your life, will help you pass your Rahul Dua ChemEng 2. A trip to Harlington exams and could well contribute to world 3: Honourary Secretary: organises all harmony through the great spirit associated meetings, is in charge of passing information Keys: Fast, Furious, Fluid with it, but all of those would be lies. The to and from the overseas societies, event truth is that it is excellent fun and a great way organising, minute keeping and other duties; Thursday 2nd March was a day of learning. to spend an afternoon. current honourary secretary is Aysha Mian Learning that just because a hovercraft part Hoverclub meets every Wednesday in OldPhysic s 2. has been working well for so long that you Chemistry (through the grey doors as though you 4) Honourary Junior Secretary: financial forget what it looks like, it doesn't mean that were going to the lecture theatre, it's straightcontro in l of the OSC, budgeting of events, it won't break/go wrong/collapse exactly front of you). budgets of the overseas societies, advice to the when you don't want it to. Of course, if you chair; current honourary junior secretary is are going to have one problem, why not have Yasmine Diljore, Computing 2. them all? 5) Events Officers (3 places): they have the Well the hovercraft (god bless it) bore ©Q(g prime duty of organising the events of the this in mind on that day, and even managed OSC including International night, to swing it so that the weather turned from Changing of the Guard contacting sponsoring firms, attending sun to sleet by the end of the day. rehearsals and much more; current officers Unperturbed by this lack of co-operation Keys: Election, 37%, Committee are Susan Dalla, Adrain Benedict, Duncan from the craft, the die hard hoverclubbers Samarasingle. invested in their loss and returned to The annual Overseas Students' Committee 6) Publicity Officer: designing and Harlington sports ground one week later with elections are going to take place on printing high quality posters and advertising a vaguely modified craft, a large toolbox and Wednesday, 3rd of May in the Union Lounge material, contacting sponsoring firms, in prayer mats. This outing was a different story (ground floor union building) at 13:00pm. charge of OSC publicity in general; current though. The hover behaved impeccably and The elected officers will be running the OSC publicity officer is Civ, ChemEng 2. allowed four hours of trouble free flying. for the academic year 1995/6. The OSC is a 7) Welfare Officer: everything to do with The afternoon started with the novice major Subcommittee of Imperial College student welfare, KCFOS and more. pilots taking the craft out for a spin around Union and deals with the 37% of the student 8) Sports Officer: sports, tournaments and the thankfully huge expanse of the sports population that is of non-British origin. The more; current sports officer is Gulio ground and when a bit of confidence and a job of the OSC is to protect and promote the Contaldi. marginal idea of control had been built up, a interests of all the international students, to 9) External Affairs Officer: dealing with slalom course was next on the agenda. In turn coordinate the running of the individual organisations outside IC such as the NUS, this was followed by two times' laps of a societies and to represent the students to the BEST and more; current officer John Siner. figure of eight circuit. As the red mist decision-making bodies of the College and descended on the drivers during the last Union. The goals of the OSC are achieved in The above duties are flexible and all of event, the cones were shown no mercy. Some a variety of ways which include the the people in the executive committee share went over, some went under and a few even organisation of social events such as the jobs and co-operate. All of the officers are also stayed standing. International Night. The overseas students of highly involved in the organisation of the Throughout the day, the hover seemed IC are directly affected by the decisions of the biggest event in the College Calendar, the easily capable of its 40 mph top speed which OSC so it is in your interests to come and International Night, that takes place in may not sound so fast, but when you are vote this Wednesday. If you are interested in March. If you want to know more contact us skimming along at about 20cm above the running for any of the posts listed below you via the Union Office and we will be glad to ground with a brutally modified motorbike can sign up on the candidate papers which inform you in detail. f FELIX 28RPR9B Yeomen of the Guard Keys: Music, Theatre, Summer

Those Opsoc people are at it again... every year they disappear to Devon without leaving so much as a note. This year the show is Gilbert & Sullivans' 'Yeomen of the Guard' and a cracking show it promises to be as well. Following the recent success of the college production 'Cabaret', it is hoped that all familiar faces, along with a lot of new ones, will be around once more. Ellis Pike (Director) is an old hand and has worked professionally in the theatre world for some what you fancy can do you good - the return years, so we're in safe hands. of Club Spanque, if in a slightly truncated The show runs for ten performances form - for this term we'll be running 8- staged in Budleight Salterton, Devon. midnight only. But it's still four hours of top Activities this term Budleigh is a sleepy seaside town for most of fun and it's free! the year but wakes up (funny old thing) when Thursday: Elegance and sophistication Keys: Remember, Events the Imperial crowd hit town. With one in Da Vinci's as we keep on keeping on with performance a day it becomes a fun holiday our ever popular Cocktail nights. This Sunday is Yom Hashoah, the day in the with friends rather than the ordeal that Friday: With the help of those very nice Jewish calendar set aside each year to running a fringe venue in Edinburgh for the people at Beatwax we're proud to present the remember the victims of Hitler's Holocaust, summer can be. There's plenty of time for first of our three special promotional events when 6 million Jews among others were picnics, horseriding, drinking, beach this term. So get on your sharp suits for the killed. All there is in Britain to remember barbecues, drinking, watersports and more Pulp Fiction Promotion night. We'll be these victims is a memorial stone in Hyde (drinking, say). giving away T-shirts, copies of the Park, where on Sunday at 10am there is the So if you want to 'do some theatre' this screenplay, posters etc and we'll be following annual commemoration ceremony. Everyone summer, and no-one else can help... get this with our usual Friday disco 'til 2pm (bar is welcome. yourself down to the sing-through of audition lam). The Pulp Fiction giveaways start at On Wednesday is Yom Hazikaron, the pieces on Monday 1st May in the Union 8pm, admission is free before 9pm, £1 after. day on which Israel remembers those soldiers Concert Hall from 7.30pm. The auditions So that's this week, but here's an early killed in fighting for her independence. themselves will be held during the following plug for those special events for the term, so Thursday is Yom Ha'atzmaut, Israel Sunday (the 7th) again in the Concert Hall. watch out for; Friday May 12th, Elixir - a Independence day, the day on which in 1948 For more information contact Darren night dedicated purely to pumping house the State of Israel was declared. Holmes, Chemistry or email [email protected] d banging techno with special Ministry of On Wednesday night, at 6pm, in Hendon Sounds freebies. Friday May 19th; Bust-a- Synagogue, Raleigh Close, there is a Gut comedy - the Winners of the Southern memorial ceremony,with the Chief Rabbi, Open Mic competitions battle it out for a Dr. Jonathan Sacks, and the Israeli 3.DQ.Q8 place in comedy's hall of fame with a very Ambassador to Great Britain, Mr. Moshe special guest compere. Raviv present. After the memorial ceremony No play makes for a dull life And on Friday June 16th: A midsummer there is a band and dancing to celebrate Independence Day in Hendon Synagogue Keys: Play, Play, Play nights' carnival. You've seen the posters, now here's the full rundown. A mammoth way to Community Centre. end the academic year, with the whole of the Entry to all of these events is free. So, here we are in the final term. This is Union Building tuned into an Ibiza style Next Friday is the third annual Shabbat probably the only time I can guarantee that vibe. We're giving the Concert Hall over to Olamit. This is an opportunity taken once a anyone actually reads this bit! I remember Whirl-Y-Gig (thanks to the cooperation of year for students around the world to those days when anything was better than Dramsoc), the UDH is going to become a participate in the same ceremony in revising. But it's a necessary evil I suppose. cocktail bar, with a selection of chilled out sanctifying the Sabbath, and to sing the same Anyway, here's our little Ents' bit for those of DJ's playing ambient, dub, trip hop and songs and be linked in a way to all the other you who believe all work and no play makes generally mellow tunes, the Ents Lounge is students sharing the same belief. for a dull life... going to be a foam-filled handbag & party There is a Friday night meal and service Monday: As the season gets to that nail- heaven. There'll be circus acts in the Quad, a in Hillel House, Endsleigh Street, starting at biting stage (especially for Palace and surf machine (with full-sized surfboard to 7.30pm, and costing £2.50 for the meal, or £4 Hammers fans) it's kick off. A night of win), free candyfloss for the first 1000 in, free if you wish to stay over. premiership football live on DaVincis' big Bizz soft drinks, a steel band and special screen. giveaways to everyone who turns up in For more details on any of these events, e- Tuesday: The first of our three special beachwear. Watch out for posters, as more mail the J-soc at [email protected] or check our Web trivia nights with £50 cash as first prize and attractions are still to be confirmed. Tickets page at lwww.su.ic.ac.uk I clubs I societies I totally free entry. Starts 8pm. are limited, priced £5 and available now from sccljsoc.htm. Alternatively drop us a note in the Wednesday: Proving that a little bit of the Union office. Don't miss this one. SCC F-K pigeonhole in the Union Office. 28APR95 FELIX WM COCICTAFI BAR & Chill OUT AREA

TICKETS £5 (adv) available from Union office £6(door) 2am Prizes for beachwear I 3 Students 8 guests only. ROflR. liar FREE candyfloss g/W$[ FREE T3izz" soft drM

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stubble THE menu into the Pantera-meets-Public Enemy territory that they long to Just reach out and run your hand down the nearest naked The sun is shining, the birds are inhabit. Sweden might just shake leg. If you get splinters then Fiona's waxing column is singing, and it's not only the the ghost of Abba yet... (8) waiting to smooth things out. If not, it's a black eye for you. prospect of exams looming o heavily on the horizon. So does It is a well-known fact in the Eye to glass, tintin observes the pulsings of mercury rev, Guy the question of baring your pasty annals of heavy metal that a destrings under the influence of morphine and Vik continues all to the waiting world this certain James Hetfield of Metallica his assault on Rock, hand in hand with clawfinger and summer. pfeorrowed' the amp settings from trouble. Joe bring up the rear live-listening to denzil. Apart from finding discrete Bruce Franklin and Rick Wartell. corners of Hyde Park in which to Mefallica's sound changed and Last term ic choir bit the bullet of bach's mass in b minor and toast your limbs, the next big they became superstars. Who are kept all their teeth. Dr G Jenkins counted up the smiles. problem is hair. Isn't it strange these two mystery guitarists? The how fashions change. When i was virtuosos in possibly the most younger, i'm sure that hairy chests Catfish rolls up his sleeve for a dose of outbreak, tintin takes underrated heavy metal buiiuTfT were considered the macho thang to the aisle, down-under with muriel's wedding, whilst Dave history, that's who. - and bald heads despicable. Cohen takes a walk to seedy street in exotica. Metallica, Pantera and Aji^e in] These days, presumably alongside Chains are all successful ads Vh

outbreak Q vocal

Tackling bach's mass in b minor is a major challenge for any choir of young voices, but at the end of last term Eric Brown's choice of his favourite choral work, performed by the ic choir, paid off. The choir had obviously worked hard and for the most part knew the piece well. The balance was generally good, although at times in the five part choruses, the two soprano lines struggled against the stronger sections. The ensemble was also very good, despite the tendency of both male parts to rush their tricky quaver passages. However the 'et © monkey business takes a sharp downward spiral into resurrexit' was sung with panache depression, leaving the audience and commendable accuracy by the In a nutshell, outbreak goes like embodying the ruthless military feeling emotionally poleaxed. tenors and basses. this: Army doctor discovers lethal establishment. Maybe it just demonstrates the The conductor successfully new virus in darkest Africa, virus is Morgan Freeman turns in a schizophrenic closeness of making moulded the orchestra, led for the written off as non-threatening by typecast heroic 'do-the-right-thing' them laugh, making them cry. first time by Maya Iwabuchi, into a his superiors, virus arrives in the performance, which is a pity as he's Either way, it's a happy-sad cohesive ensemble in spite of their States and starts laying people out an actor of some quality. Dusfin rollercoaster. rehearsal time constraints. left right and centre, doctor Hoffman was ok, I guess, but how Iwabuchi gave a virtuoso perform- discovers that military have ulterior much talent does it take to act the A painful unfolding of lasciv- ance in her solo parts, matched by motives... adrenalised shouter? ious desires and sordid secrets, equally sparkling renditions from Which bring us to the main The film really contains too exotica intertwine with a Pulp the oboes d'amore, flutes and problem. Outbreak doesn't know little of everything to be much of Fiction-esque precision. The title trumpet. The orchestra's sound what it wants to be; a comedy or an anything. In the end, a film which itself is a superlative worthy of the however, was marred in some action movie, an ordinary thriller or could have been so many things got film's sleazy down-town jungle- passages by the poor tuning of the a moralising crusade. It could have watered down like a homeopathic themed strip club. It's not so much a organ and harpsichord. been an edge-of-the-seat race remedy and left us with nothing. poignant parable as a forlorn tale Amongst the vocal soloists against time but it took too long to of lonely souls, basking in the Frances Jellard must be congrat- get started. If could have been a It's a strange phenomenon. gloom of their solitary existence. ulated for creditable singing human interest story but it wasn't. Just as our marriages are self Francis Brown (Bruce Green- despite standing in at short notice, Instead, it tried to be funny, destructing with increasing wood), has lost his family in a series and William Purefoy's purity of which seems a little out-of-place in regularity so their cinemythical of unfortunate tragedies. His tone once agin made him the a movie about imminent disaster. It properties seem to become ever daughter was murdered, a year darling of the choir's sopranos tried to give us a little character more potent. Still despite the later his wife died in an accident in and altos. detail (the two doctors are ex- ominousness of its title, muriel's a car which was being driven by his Brown introduced several husband and wife, and working for wedding is more a case of life brother, her lover! Twisted enough thoughtful tempi throughout the competing organisations), but that being all around rather than the yet? The only escape from reality he work. The finale, 'dona nobis', was about all. It tried to be a hearts and honeymoons currently has left is Exotica. There, Christina was a touch too slow for the choir parable about military secrecy and being conjured up by Hugh Grant (Mia Krishner), Francis' favourite to produce the sostenuto required paranoia, but it wasn't anything we and his ilk. dancer, plays the not-so-innocent to communicate the full intensity haven't seen or heard before. But Squeezed beneath all that school girl, incarnating his fantasy of the movement at the end of a most of all, this film fails because white lace trappings is an old of his deceased daughter. long and ardous concert. However when push comes to shove it's fashioned and, in parts, very funny Director, Atom Egoyan man- the choir once again proved really nothing more than a vehicle rites of passage movie; young ages to enchant an atmosphere themselves to be one of the finest for its stars. That said, there are slobby duckling gets out of dull which sticks the film together but student choirs with a great some reasonably good perform- ditch water home, meets up with one can't help but feel that it was performance of possibly the ances from the main cast, most fellow outsider and hits the big city done for the sake of the box office greatest choral work. © notably from Dona/d Sutherland as in search of a better life. However rather than any statement about the coldly remorseless general, after that point Muriel's Wedding such bizarre relationships. Q

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28APR95 FELIX MM The FELIX Guide 1 AY Are y^^^^ poor Times OTIOSf R Regular Event Places EaHsiiiu^ash SUPfRfLUOSlIP TODAY SATURDAY SUNDAY MONDAY TUfSDAY WfDNfSDAY THURSDAY SG Southside Gym SL Southside Lounge Annual Commemoration Yeomen of the Guard Bar Trivia 8pm Israel Memorial Day UDH Union Dining Hall NifiBQ baTOox Straightforward Bar Cocktail Night 5-11 pm Pulp Fiction Night Night 9pm-2am of the Holocaust 10am Opsoc tour - audition piece £50 cash prize. Da Vinci's. 6pm. Hendon Synagogue, Cocktails from £1.70. Da Many freebies, T shirts, UCH Union Concert Hall Kick off the new term with The Dell, Hyde Park. sung through. 7.30pm. Raleigh Close. Vinci's. R. soundtracks etc. Live music EL Ents Lounge UCH. Club Spanque 8-12pm a simple jolty at Da from The Taranttnos. £1 GH Great Hall Vinci's. Bar until lam. £1 Bar Promotion Free. UB. R. after 9pm. The3Man needs people after 9pm. From 5pm onwards, while Shabbat Olamit TTR Table tennis room stocks last. Da Vincis. Free. Hillel House. £2.50, £4 to LT Lecture Theatre stay over. ^i^^B^^rlailot boxes

Labour Club 12.30pm Gliding Club 8.15am Gliding Club 8.15am Aerobics 12.30pm Benelux Soc 12pm Roller Blade Soc 12.15pm Aerobics Class 12.30pm Labour Club 12.30pm CAPffPS SL upper. Lasham Airfield. Come to Lasham Airfield. Come to Body Toning level I. SG. Meeting. Traditional bar. Meet at SL for hockey. Legs, turns & bums. SG SL upper. iinfe\vii)i' machines Islamic Society 1 pm Thurs meeting if it is your Thurs meeting if it is your Artsoc 12.30pm Cathsoc 12pm Motorcycle club 12.45pm Conservative Soc 1 pm Islamic Society 1pm Careers Office Friday Prayers. SG. first time. first time. Meeting. UDH. informal mass and lunch, weekly meeting. SL. Meeting, SL. Friday Prayers. SG. Rm 310 Sherfield, Open ICU Rag 1.10pm Roller Blade Soc Wargames Club 1pm Exploration Soc 1pm Bagrit centre, MEng. Micro Club 1 pm Gliding Club 1pm ICU Rag 1.10pm 10am-5.15pm, Mon - Fri. Rag Meeting. EL. 10.45am. Table Tennis Rm. Meeting. SL (upper). Yogasoc 12.15pm Meeting. Top floor. Union. Meeting. Aero 266. Rag Meeting. EL. Missed the Milkround? Aerobics Class 5.30pm Ramp skating at Brixton Roller Blade Soc 2pm OSC 1-2 pm Beginners' classes. SG. Aerobics Class 1.15pm Jazz Dance 5-6.30pm Aerobics Class 5.30pm Don't panic. Careers office Advanced Step level IV. SG. Skate Park. SL. Skating and Hockey in Meeting. Brown cmtty rm. S+G Outdoor Club 1 ish Beg/inter level II. SG Union Dining Hall. Advanced Step level IV. SG. is contacting employers. Meeting. All Welcome. SL. Free Minibus Service Roller Blade Soc 2pm Hyde Park/Kensington Ski Club 1-2pm STOIC 1.30pm Art classes. CivEng 101. Free Minibus Service Contact careers after finals. UCO 1pm 11.30pm-2am from the Skating and Hockey in Gdns. SL. Meeting. SL (upper). Production meeting. Stoic Aerobics Class 5.30pm 11,30pm-2am from the Penultimate years- Bible study. Mat B432. Union. Hyde Park/Kensington Aerobics Class 2pm Aerobics Class 5.30pm Studios. Intermid level 3. SG. Union. Sort your life out now-try If you %jg|^^^ypfe Union office Aerobics Class 5.30pm Gdns. SL. Intermediate level III. SG. Beginners level I. SG. Hoverclub 1.30pm IC Choir 6.15-8pm the new computer in careers. Concert Band 5.45-7.15 Advanced Step level IV. SG. Old Chemistry. Rehearsal. 342 MEng. NEBOSH certificates Any Ability. GH. Wine Tasting Soc 6pm Ten Pin Bowling 2.15pm Dance Club 7pm 5 free post grad places for on the first floor of the Union Building Bridge Club 6pm £5, £4 memb. UDH. Meet outside Aero Eng. Autumn beginners. JCR. the summer, 26/6/05-7/7 Regulars - Please tell me if you want an entry reinstated, Rm 345 Huxley. Dance Club 6pm Jazz Dance 3.30-5pm ULU Lesbian & Gay Soc /95plus revision days. changed, removed or almost anything else by the Tuesday Autumn beginners. JCR. Beginner. Southside Gym. Contact Safety Unit, 14 and ask for Michelle LBG (Lesbian & Gay 7.30pm Rm 2D, ULU, Aerobics Class 5pm Princes Gardens ext 49423. morning the week before it happens. Thanks. Jeremy T. Group) 7.30pm Malet St, WC1. Step level III. SG. Meeting. TTR. Caving Club 9pm Meeting. SL (Upper). SflflLL ADS Jack & Jeremy's Police 4 Bugs 8pm Prime Suspect 9pm Minders 9.45pm Without Walls: Kaleidoscope 4pm Captain Scarlet & The Alive in London Wanted by Mark Home 10pm, C4. Jack Dee & BBC1. Ridiculous semi sci ITV. A whole two hours of BBC2. Disturbing film epic McCarthyism: Bloody R4's regular review prog Mysterons 6pm 6.45-7.30 Virgin (now on Union Stewards. Are you an Jeremy Hardy's Crime- fi hi tech action serial. this well produced drama chronicais the treatment of Students 9.30pm looks at films 'The Stea' & BBC2. Another Gerry IMPERIAL COLLEGE OF SCIENCE TECHNOLOGY & MEDICINE FM, far right hand end) even-tempered, sociable 1st watch spoof-quite amusing. Entertaining but plastic. forces me to use the word a psychiatric patient, C4. Pete McCarthy rants 'Pygmalion'. Anderson classic. with Barry Fantoni of or 2nd year who wants good MTV's Guide to Have I got news for you 'gritty' yet again. Valerie. Not for half-heart- on about how students Star Trek The Next Gen Drop the Dead Donkey Private Eye. experience and a decent Alternative Music 8pm 11pm, BBC2. Friday's rpt. Les Cousins 12pm ed viewing. these days are about as 6pm BBC2. 10.30pm. C4. Life Swaps 6.45pm wage? Me too. Contact the For four weeks MTV pon- Vertigo 11.30pm C4. Nothing to do with a Beavis & Butthead rowdy as Mr Hurd when Modern Times 9pm Unfortunately only a re- BBC2. Fairly obvious what Union Office. der the usually ignored BBC2. One of Alfred bloke called Les, Chabrol's MTV 9.30pm every week even voting Labour seems BBC2 doc takes on issues run of this (nearly) award STAFF-STUDENT this one is. Steel Toe Cap DM's and surprisingly fine alter- Hitchcock's best-a smooth dark, haunting film sees night, some times sneaked radical. The frightening including the criminally winning newsroom satire. 10 hole, good nick, size native scene with some phobic detective gets the amoral guy getting on at midnight and 2am thing is, he's right. Apathy unjustifiable act and the seven. £30. Call 48072. excellent sets. friend's wife type plot. the best deal. Another as well. rules O eco worriers. Loose and CONSORT GALLERY Double Room to let excellent French piece. inconclusive. Vauxhall tube. £227.50 p.c.m All ICU films now in Shallow Grave 8pm Frankenstein 7pm Interview with the Disclosure 8pm Call Sarah ex 45420 ART EXHIBITION Dolby Stereo Surround ICU Cinema. Fantasic ICU Cinema production Vampire 8pm ICU Cinema. Sound British semi arty macabre for ICSF. ICU Cinema Usual prices: £2, £1 film thriller card, £3 no ICU card. 1 7TH MAY TO 16TH JUNE 1 995

"£10-to spend" Bear Boo Radleys Dog Eat Dog Tinder sticks Suzanne Chawner Johnny Cash Hole Marion Found in the "Eye Need" +Waddle Shep Bush Empire + Collapsed Lung +Vic Chesnutt + Lorraine Bowen Royal Albert Hall + Scarce + Catatonia column of Private Eye. Dublin Castle tube; Shepherds Bush London Astoria 2 +The Pastels Twelve Bar Club 0777 589 8212 Brixton Academy tube; Camden Town OT87 740 7474 tube; Tottenham Court Rd Forum tube; Tottenham Court Rd doors; 7pm tube; Brixton LA2 "Generalisation is the CALL. FOR WORK 0171 485 1773 doors; 7pm 0777 434 0430 tube; Kentish Town 0777 916 6989 tickets; £15-17.50 0171 924 9999 tube; Tottenham Court Rd death of art. It is in the doors; 8:45pm tickets; £8. doors; 6pm. £5. 0171 284 2200 doors; 8.30pm doors; 8pm 0171434 0430 details that God resides." £4, cones £3.50. doors; 8pm £3, cones £2. Blue Note All Stars Jam tickets; £9 but it has sold doors; 8pm Arthur Mr/Jar David Jean Baptiste tickets; £7. Blue Note, 1 Hoxton Sq out so it's tout time!! tickets; £6 Sextet 0777 729 8440 True Hallucinotions "If s true, actually. I read with Orphy Robinson, feat £5 / £3 featuring several Ben Owen's poems, saxes, COLLECTION: FRIDAY 1 2TH MAY, it in several newspapers" & Roland Sutherland. stars from the acid jazz vocals -"a collusion of Nathaniel White Jazz Cafe, 5 Parkway, label. poetry, music & fooling". FROM 3PM TO 4:30PM, Camden Town 8pm Troubadour Cafe, 0777 344 0044 £7.50. 265 Old Brompton Road. 8day IN THE ANTE ROOM,

Outbreak Before Sunrise Muriel's Wedding Take Me (I'm yours) Exotica Death of the Maiden The Madness of King Joe de Touches Competetion SHERFIELD BUILDING Odeon Kensington Warner West End Odeon West End Odeon Kensington Christan Boltanski Renoir, Brunswick Sq George The Commercial Space, How to enter: Simply Serpentine Gallery 837 8402 07426 914666 0781 896 0099 0426 915574 0426 914666 0777 Warner West End Albert Wharf, SE3. find the three film refer- Hyde Park 0777 402 6075 tube; Kensington High St tube; Leicester Square tube; Leicester Square tube; Kensington High St tube; Russell Square 0181 896 0099 07 77 344 0044. £12. ences and the three delib- 10am-6pm. Last day. 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30 12.15, 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 1.30, 3.55, 6.25, 8.55 1.05, 3.55, 6.45, 9.35 2.05, 4.20, 6.35, 8.50 tube; Leicester Square De Touches appears to be erate mistakes on this Chances are you've tickets; £6, £6.50, before tickets; £7, Mon-Fri tickets; £7-£9, before 5pm tickets; £6, £6.50, before tickets; £6, 1 st perf £4 2.10, 4.35, 7.00, 9.30 in grotesque competition page, fill in the tiny form already heard of this one. before 5pm £4.00. Mon-Fri and students £4- 5pm £3.50. with cones £2.50. 5pm £3.50. tickets; £7, Mon-Fri with Damion Hurst, as his Another 'deconstructing with a 0.25mm Rotring £6. before 5pm £4.00. hideous twisted human and bring it in. Any correct the medium' job involving figures, genuine we are piles of clothes, food and entries will get an exclusive Self Storage Allen Jones Young British Artists IV Odion Redon Richard Avendon assured, slowly rot and fall jumble that you are Frank Lloyd Wright promo record (that no one Acorn Storage, First Way, Graphic Retrospective Saatchi Gallery, 98A At the Royal Academy, National Portrait Gallery from their tragic poses. encouraged to make your Design Museum, Butlers wants) Wembley Stadium. Barbican Concourse Boundary Rd, NW8. Piccadilly, Wl. 0777 439 St. Martin's Place (off Visitors, clad in supplied own. However, atten- Wharf,Shad Thames, SE1 Weekdays 7-9pm, Sat 5-9 Gallery. Until 29 May. 0171 624 8299 til 23 June 743S. Until 21 May. Trafalgar Square} WC2 masks amusingly try to dance toward the end of 0171403 6933 £4.50, Free. Thurs-Sun 12-6pm £2.50 £4.50, £3.50 cones. 0777 306 0055 Free. retain their composure as 6 Sun 1 -5pm. £3.50, Cones today seems to be to be £3.50 cones. Price Since pop art appeared, Lively energetic collabora- French pre surrealist Avendon's photography the corpses yell "I demand free on Tues & Weds. an excellent opportunity to includes the Permanent Jones has been at the tion of a dozen new visionary artist. Mixes clas- can be described as no some booze!" and vomit. 07 77 494 3780 'til 7 May. pick up large amount of Collection. Models, draw- NOTE : ALL SUBMI5SOMS MUST BE FRAMED AND PREPARED FOR DISPLAY forefront of the modern artists, mainly modern sical styles with symbolic less than cruel. Faces are Laurie Anderson & Brian free food and clothes, as I ings and photography IF YOU WISH TO PUT YOUR ARTWORK UP FOR SALE . PRICE (not nasty) art. His multi- sculpture. Fridges, flash- non-allegorical content. totally harsh, fierce creas- .e. Eno present strange doubt the place will be ably illustrate Lloyd MUST BE INCLUSIVE OF Z.OV. COMMISSION TO I HUMANITIES. media explorations have ing lights, wax dummies, Charcoals and drawings es, blotches, glances of sculptures, pictures and overrun with fat wallet col- Wright's considerable centred on printmaking, soft porn, dig film and not picture sinister floating insanity rule the images. sounds in an old ware lectors, and who's going impact on the modern FOR MORE INFORMATION, some of which are for a little vital oddity. heads (his father was No where to hide, the I am a fool / sad / wolly / looser / god ' house divided up into to store this stuff? Rather interior, especially set in CONTACT: LEONARDO SOCIETY AT ICU SCAB OR EMAIL: [email protected] sale. decapitated) and cactus portraits are caricatures [ vole lory / tory / tory I tory / no! at all* storage lockups. Do not against the point, eh? Chigago. Until 3 Sept. ' Delete as applicable miss, unless you want to. men. of weakness, fault, fear.

FELIX is produced for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publications Board. It is printed by the Imperial College Union Print Unit, Prince FELIX B8RPR95 FELIX Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (Tel: 0171 594 8072, Fax: 0171 589 4942). Editor: Owain Bennallack. Copyright FELIX 1995. ISSN 1040-0711 Sport

him" a couple of points in the Sport IC Team Score Opposition Squash 0 third game before winning. IC 4th vs QMW 2nd That's our Dave! Squash IC 4th 4 - 0 QMW 2nd Many thanks to all the lads A brilliant performance by who have helped in our push dozen of Garden Hall's most pedestrians, joggers and cou- every team member to thrash towards promotion this sea- desirable men would be out ples alike. our final opponents of the sea- son... I hope you enjoyed the together wearing shorts (and But we couldn't last forev- son 4-0. This was just the experience! Doc Martins in some cases). er, and the tide turned; the 'B' result required to make sure of Unfortunately the park was team scored again and again, promotion to the second divi- more crowded than we had not helped by my goalkeeping sion next year and rounded off Football © expected, probably due to the skills (or lack thereof) and a great season for the fourths. Garden Hall 'A' vs Garden Hall 'B' unusually sunny and summer- Simon lying down / having a Flash Dick started off the esque weather (global warm- fag / running away from the round, winning without rais- In what can only be described ing does have it's benefits, ball / etc. ing a sweat, and not giving his as the match of the century, obviously). But undaunted, we Eventually, it became too opponent a ball to hit. Then it the 'A' and 'B' teams met on set up our goals shooting into cold and dark to continue, and was Tricky Al's turn to Tuesday evening in Hyde the road and started. we decided to call it a day. It demoralise his opponent with Park with only one thing on For the first half an hour, was at this point that we a number of clever little their minds: Beer - no, sorry - the 'A' team scored again and realised no-one had been boasts. Captain Gazza soon Victory! Death or glory! A again, (and that was not due to keeping score, leading to the followed, running his victim battle to the finish, the mother a head-wind, Jim!) and even I promise of a re-match Real into the ground and not show- of all football games, the big managed to score a goal Soon Now... ing an ounce of mercy. It just one, the ... sorry, I'm getting (which about as likely as win- In conclusion: Taxis 4, required Ding Dong Dave to carried away again [You will be ning anything over £5 on an Passers-by 2, The use all his years of experience soon, shut up and get on with it Instants card). However, this Lot Playing to round off the amazing -Ed]. Ulp! Yes, both teams did present a number of prob- Rounders result. When two games up wanted to win. lems, as every time we scored Next To Us and having not given a point This was a unique event, the ball shot into the road, 10 and A away he admitted feeling sorry mainly because it was the first much to the 'amusement' of Couple On A for his opponent and "gave (and possibly only) time a passing motorists, cyclists, Bench 1. Is there anybody out there! It's exam season, and have all the sports teams fin- ished for this year? Perhaps, but if there are teams with results then we'll be happy (ecstatic even) to print them - and just think of all those column- inches waiting for your finely crafted prose to WARDEN fill them up. Otherwise I'll just have to make BERNARD SUNLEY HOUSE them all up (not that I'd do anything like that normally, you understand) or use the page for... [pause for dramatic effect] ... Applications are invited for the position of Warden at Bernard something else! Anyway, enough of this - Sunley House, which falls vacant on 1st October 1995. bye for now, and remember: be good! Bernard Sunley is a self-catering mixed house of approximately 109 undergraduate students situated in Evelyn Gardens. The die order fight-back led by warden is responsible for pastoral care of the residents and Cricket El maintaining discipline. In return s/he receives rent-free Tariq Javed and Gareth Perry accommodation in a self-contained flat within the house. IC Ist" vs Brunei saw us to a modest total of 108 for our bowlers to take Application forms and an information pack can be obtained from At 9.15am on Wednesday over. the General Personnel Office, Room 511, Sherfield Building, morning 15 players turned up We got off to a brilliant extension 55513. Any non-undergraduate member of the to face the arctic conditions to start after dinner and superb College may apply, but experience of pastoral care of students play the first fixture in this performances by all of the would be an advantage. years BUSA competition. bowlers I. Lithau, S.Tressell, Brunei were the opponents J. Ishererel, T. Javed, S. Closing date for the receipt of completed application forms: and the odds of winning were Milligan [Sorry, I can't read Tuesday 23rd May 1995. stacked against us. any of these names in this 'hand- Initial interviews are scheduled to take place during the morning writing'! Please print next time! It started badly, when the of Monday 5th June. captain lost the toss and we -Ed] and a courageous perfor- were put into bat. To start mance by B. Richards as strongly the captain and the wicket keeper saw us to our vice-captain decided to open first win of the season. the batting. They were both Well done and a beverage out without scoring! A mid- to all who played! FEL1X