The Student Newspaper of Imperial College 18 October 1999: Issue 1153

Full Freshers Week Bestselling author (and former IC rouno-up. Page 8

Cash crisis in Union plans for Beit Quad

DAVID ROBERTS still remains. Hope remains that the College

The Union's plans for expanding will agree to part fund the project, into Beit Quad may be forced to as two of the major sections of the contract unless £200 000 can be new facility - the Islamic Prayer found within the next few months. Room and the College Chaplaincy The biggest losers look like - are being relocated from College being the College's Islamic staff administered areas. Consequently, and students, as the first area pen the Union is freeing up space for cilled in for the chop is the new the College, but not receiving any Islamic Prayer Room in the west monetary compensation to make wing basements. The third floor the new space (in the basements renovation (designed to provide far below the new halls) habitable. more space for meetings) and the Unsurprisingly, the bill to renovate these spaces will be huge Photo: Archive However, with work due to take laundry facilities for sports teams place next summer and the tender offer going out very soon, a deci are also likely to go unless extra side of the Beit project. The total and catering profits) only currently sion to save the Prayer Room will be funding can be found. cost of the project is projected at totals £350K. Consequently, needed within the next few weeks - The problem comes as a direct approximately £750 000. However, although the College have agreed otherwise work could be postponed result of the College's refusal to the Union's Strategic Development to give the Union an interest free indefinitely. guarantee funding for the Union Reserve (generated from bar, retail loan of £200K, a £200K shortfall Queen's Lawn to Host Summer Ball

SUNIL RAO aren't to be held on successive to be served possibly in a marquee purpose or indeed any large sit- days. In fact, Natasha Newton, on the Queen's Lawn. ICU Ents down dinner before, but contrac As previously reported in Felix, the ICU President, informed us that the and Marketing manager Mark tors have assured ICU that it will two summer balls (one for IC, the medics' event would be held "much Home is apparently very keen on be possible to accommodate a other for ICSM only) held in June later", in the summer holidays, the idea and has already been thousand people there. 1999 both made hefty losses, though it turns out that it will most busy inviting tenders for the host Organisation for the IC Ball almost £40,000 in all, and both likely be held only one week after ing. The other possibility is to carry appears to be in trouble already, unquestionably flopped. Naturally, the main event. A number of ICSM on in Alexandra Palace as before, with nobody showing any interest questions have been raised, dis staff and senior students, reluctant but it appears that prices will have in being Summer Ball Chair this cussions have taken place, lengthy to throw away over "60 years of to be jacked up quite a bit -possi year, hardly surprisingly. meetings have been held and a balls", are reportedly refusing to bly reaching £100 per head. Felix was unable to reach Mark whole rethink of the summer ball even consider the possibility of Attractive as the idea of a Ball in a Home in time, but Natasha New thing is taking place, or so we are there being held one Ball for glamorous venue like a top hotel ton emphasised the need for a told. 2000. might be, it looks like it will have to Summer Ball Chair to be appoint

We are still to have two sepa As of Thursday morning, it be abandoned. There is a slight ed soon, adding "IC is now ranked rate balls (that's summer balls, not appears that the IC ball is to be problem in that the Queen's Lawn higher than Oxford, let's make sure any other kind!), but this time they held inside College, with the food has never been used for this sort of our Ball's better than theirs too". 2 News Felix . 18 October 1999 Blokes booted off buses

CHRIS POWELL subjected to a stern lecture from blokes" Natasha Newton informing them Having been one of the The student minibus service that's that they would be dispatched to minibus drivers, the IC President : fc'fs Ff'igOCKHft: iijfsV Wl writ-; laid on to take female students her office for "disciplinary action" claimed "Blokes have caused il'ng mii:l||Pi.!'C ' t;q:mpqras wish home at night is a great idea, it the next morning if they caused trouble and we have had to throw works very well, and the Union is any trouble. them off.. .they're a pretty rowdy to be commended for it, but its With recent figures showing crowd." She was keen to protect female only policy is perceived by that crimes against young men the emergency service role of the many as a real flaw that deserves are on the increase, the discrimi minibuses and described the close examination. natory nature of the minibus poli claiming of male student's Union

:6''S &:>tic;ii^gS:H-;:vi'!0 iaw-cfcwiV''o:; At the conclusion of last cy has been called into question. cards as a pre-emptive measure. week's ball a group of male stu Ms. Newton defended the code The restrictions placed on jest lioh. dents attempted to board a bus explaining the unconscious were free bus travel are apparently due carrying just three female stu of the highest priority followed by to a lack of funds, the President dents and were forced to hand lone females, then groups of explained "It is not an ideal situa over their Union cards (as is stan female, she stated the service was tion, but it is not about discrimi dard practice) they were then not for "large groups of drunk nating against blokes".

p'^»P1l1': In Brief

TRAGIC ACCIDENT one of the lucky few to be over forced to fully advertise and pro paid - don't spend it. Financial mote the event, and lay on Amongst the casualties of the Services is collecting cheques as minibuses to enable those unable Ladbroke train crash (see Felix well as issuing them. to use public transport to attend 1152) was former IC student the event. Although supporting a Elaine Kellow. Elaine was a march against fees might not bright, lively and incredibly out MONEY MATTERS seem like a major step for a stu going biochemist and a hockey dents union, it's definately a big

: player, but she was probably best !f s-Kie ;\ii'fi ;frf Ci!y-(/hsi Guilds to University applications from move for the normally anti-politi tc!' ys vAcit'thfliy'fw.up'to, plys'fti| known for her work with Dram- under-represented groups have cal ICU, and was resolutely dftlctfifcsi' howiCMegfeterjs vote," Soc, which she chaired three fallen since the introduction of opposed by teh Union President years ago. Our condolences go tuition fees, according to the Uni who warned that student demos out to Elaine's family and to all versities and Colleges Admissions would only receivepress coverage who knew her. Service. The study, reported in if there was violence. last week's Times Higher Educa

: tion Supplement shows that A pq<- ke.d "'mdi hegj % is jywk;.g/lf: h mature students, students from waters queuing :uffrio ISGfellieli PHD'S LEFT POORLY LOW ATTENDANCE FAILS disadvantaged backgrounds, and TO MAR FIELD CUP Over the summer Financial Ser those from most ethnic groups have been less likely to apply for vices have been busy bringing This year's Rag programme Higher Education since 1998. Project99 online. It's their new kicked off on Saturday 9th with system, designed to control pay This news represents a rever the Field Cup, the traditional City ments to staff, sabbaticals and sal of the trend before 1998, & Guilds Union Pub Crawl. PhD students. But they've had which showed an increase in Although turnout wa far lower problems. applications from these groups. than last year (thanks to post- Some staff haven't received The loss of the maintenance grant Freshers Week hangovers) half-a- automated payments for twoan d the subsequent increase in dozen intrepid teams still tackled months and PhD bursaries have the size of student loans seems to the course, raising in excess of Seven days presented at a glance come through late. One Sabbati be the most significant factor. £350 in the process. As well as thonks lo 49 neatly drawn bv>es cal was overpaid by about money, however, the competitors £1 800, while the other four were also succeeded in returning with left with nothing. UNION GOES POLITICAL a variety of pot plants, a moose's Despite staff training and a head and an entire bathroom lot of work, there have been For the first time in living memo suite, all in an attempt to gain 11 liswse'i V offering Is f rioffe -carped teething problems, which the Uni ry, Imperial College Union has vital points. their: cfypfc; €><<;}, rfior.t odd versity is countering by issuing agreed to back a political cause. The event was just a small cheques where necessary. Mal At last Tuesday's meeting of ICU part of the MenCap Megaraid colm Aldridge, Controller of Council, a motion to support an which took place across the capi Financial Services, assures us that NUS day of action against stu tal that day. The Royal College of service will be back to normal by dent debt, brought by Equal Science Union also got involved, This year's BITS'1, season kicks off in Christmas, and hopefully a lot Oppourtunities Officer George operating a street collection from fine style, with impressive wins for the quicker. Constnatinides, was passed. The their Fire Engine, Jez, and raising : D :3cc*:StlJ § \ pirj ii/f&Siis teoty:;1: , In the meantime, if you are Union Sabbaticals will thus be over £50 in the process. Procter&Gamble

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WIIOV » The Make-Up of Make-Up Artists PANTENEI BOSS I HUGO BOSS MAX FACTOR 4 Interview Felix 18 October 1999 clever by half: ingh

The bestselling author of Fermat's Last Theorem story properly. something along the way. It is interesting to see the has a few surprises up his sleeve. For starters, range of people who solve the puzzles, though - the despite have written two massively popular books So what's next? first correct solution to the first level was a speech therapist, the second was broken first by a philoso (his latest work, The Code Book, shot straight into I'd like to think that I've got another couple of pher, the third by a brain therapist, and the fourth the top ten in it's first week), secured a Physics PhD books in me, but I certainly wouldn't guarantee it. was cracked by a 15 year old girl...[the latest from Cambridge and picked up several awards for My life has been a series of happy accidents, and I updates on the contest can be found at www.4thes- his work with the BBC (where he directed the could easily bump into someone next week and tate.co.uk/cipherchallenge] acclaimed documentary on the famously inexplica head off in a completely different direction.... ble Theroem), he's actually a graduate of Imperial College. So, Simon Singh, over to you... But would you ever want to go back to physics? Both Fermat's Last Theorem and The Code Book After ten years away, it's far too late to go back to are available from all good bookshops and are Are you happy you chose Imperial? physics.. .sometimes I think I'd like to go back, but coincidentally damn fine reads. Looking back, I guess I am. Like a lot of people after you've spent a day with the man who solved here, I applied to Oxbridge, and in retrospect I Fermat's Last Theorem or a morning with Stephen think it was a definitely good for me to have been Hawking, you realise there are people operating on rejected - I'm just not good at talking to strangers an entirely different level to you...besides, I knew or working in groups... was never going to be a great physicist, so it was no Nonetheless, it's very strange to come great loss back...for my sins I was RCS President for a year in the late eighties, and long before they were famous I booked people like Paul Merton and Julian Clary Who do you target your books at? for the Ents Lounge [smiles and gazes into the mid Essentially, I try to write for anyone with c dle distance]. intelligence.

So why did you leave IC and opt for Cambridge? .. .so what's Ihe new book about? After a time you have to move on. I read about one The Code Book is basically about the hi leading biochemistry department which would only development of codes from ancient civ accept students from other unis for PhD's. Stipulat sations to the latest developments and ing it like that might be going a bit far, but nonethe speculation about 'unbreakable' less it's a very sensible philosophy - after four years codes... When I was writing Fermat's here I needed a break and a change. Anyway, there Last Theorem I started to learn about were only a handful of universities in the country codes, and there's a section in offering the course I was looking for, and Cam That book ThaT I really wanted bridge was probably the best... to develop on, but it didn't really fit into the main story. How did you get into media? Now, however, by giving it it's I realised while I was at Cambridge that I wasn't own book I can go into every going to be a great physicist, and I started looking aspect of codes and codebreaking at how to get a job in the media. Essentially, you just in as much detail as I want to. have to keep submitting material to as many peo Essentially, there are three ple as you possibly can, and eventually someone main threads: Firstly, it's one third a will take an interest and publish something you've history book [examples and done...it worked for me and I eventually landed a details]... secondly it's about the job with the BBC, making segments for Tomorrow's maths and science behind encryp World and Horizon. tion and cracking [examples]...and the final third is a look at the future How did you move into writing? and the possibility of developing I met someone at lunch one day at the BBC who those 'unbreakable' codes with the was writing a book, and we started talking about advent of massive computing the program was making...I said that it was a power available to all. shame that I had to cut so much out of the docu mentary to keep it down to an hour (a one hour Finally, what's the contest in the back of the documentary is about 7000 words) - so she sug book about? gested that I write a book (which gives you about It's just a bit of fun really - a chance to put what the 100 000 words to play with) so that I could tell the book teaches you into practice, and possibly win Deloitte Consulting

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0171303 6193/6753. 6 Travel Feature Felix 18 October 1999 18 October 1999 Felix Travel Feature Summer Dreams Two weeks into term, behind on your coursework and wishing you'd done more in the vacation? Ed Sexton looks back on a summer gone and decides whether Inter-railing is all it's cracked-up to be

We started striking camp once the sun was up. The previous day's rain was saving money is to spend most of the time in Eastern Europe - in Zagreb I ing for a 4am train. Bored with the station ambience, we headed out of because of the nudist beach at one end. Being a rather boring graduate, I nowhere to be seen, although long white clouds were stretched.across the got a 20" pizza for around £4, and beer was only over £1 in the most tourist town and up a wooded hill for the night. Jan sat down under a tree explain spent most of the day at the other end where it was somewhat quieter. The sky, pinned motionless against the .morning. This bothered me. What also permeated regions. ing "I can't be bothered to put the tent up - we'll be fine in the open". Cue island is fairly unspoilt, with a bar selling cold beer for £1 a half litre the only bothered me was the state of my head, fuzzy and confused from the wine storm half an hour later. commerce allowed. and excesses of the previous night. I stumbled to our pre-arranged clearing After about a week of sun, little sand and no sex, during which time I and found a seat in the long damp grass. Where the hell was I? On a hill And so it begins met Paul in Zagreb, we headed to Pula and thence to Florence. This in itself near Traunkirchen in the middle of Austria would be the geographer's Turning East proved to be tricky, partially because I ignored the tempting fate rule, and answer - in a place of tranquillity with some of my best friends would be Funnily enough, I had no intention of going travelling during the summer partially because Croatian bus companies are confusing and far too numer mine. Paul, Jon and I had been travelling for about ten days. We'd met up until half way through June. Someone suggested we meet up for the eclipse After the storm incident I parted from my companion (coincidence, I assure ous. In the end we managed to get from Pula to Florence by using one bus with Jan in Villach, by some miracle of organisation, and had spent the last and, since Cornwall already looked like being an over-hyped marketing you) and headed to Slovenia's capital, Ljubljana. Whether or not to travel and three trains, arriving a mere six minutes two days searching for a place like this, right on the line. scam, I agreed. A group from the caving club were going to be in Slovenia, on your own is a question many would be inter-railers ask themselves. The after our scheduled meeting time. Flo When was it? Shortly after 1 Oam, Wednesday 11 th August. The sun was so Austria was the logical venue. Then someone mentioned going to Italy advantages are obvious; you do what you want, when you want. Londoners rence, of course, involved pizza, art, ice darting between clouds in a will-you-won't-you kind of way. The light had afterwards. I commented that Florence had good ice cream, and some art. tend to live on top of each other, often literally, and there is a lot of truth in cream, art, dodgy Italian beer, and more become very blue and metallic. Birds were starting to roost. The valley was Someone else suggested getting wrecked in the Black Forest for a day. art. Train hopping to Amsterdam over a the fabled "finding yourself" travelling experience. If you want to meet beginning to darken. Then suddenly it appeared - the sun, totally obscured Thursday night I spent the last few days Six weeks and one union handbook later we were on the good old P&O people, you will - I bumped into someone who was in Linstead by the moon, ringed by fluffy white clouds. The corona was magnificent, before my pass ran out in Holland, cross channel ferry on a clear, blue and rather nice summer's morning. Of with me on the overnight train from Zagreb to Split. bleeding purple and pink, yellow, green and blue onto the clouds. Two min recovering from travel fatigue and course, travelling round Europe is all about experiences, seeing new places Then again, it can be tiresome doing every utes seemed to last a day, yet at the same time came and went in an instant. spending some time with a close and enjoying the finer points of European cultures, so by the first night we thing yourself; at least if there's two of It went very dark - Venus appeared from behind a mountain. Crickets turned friend. were safely embedded in Amsterdam. Anyone who read Felix last year can you the organisational bur a peaceful glade into a roar of screeching. I shuddered and looked around guess how the next few days were spent. We eventually left, suitably refu den decreases. -«A<8 for my shirt. elled, on the overnight train to Munich. There is one golden rule with The The moment passed, and we returned to pack up our things, but it overnight trains; reserve a seat in advance. If, like us, you don't realise What to take and when to go stayed with me for the rest of the day. We were to part at the train station - you're leaving until two hours before the train goes, then there's a silver

Jon and Paul were off to Vienna, while Jan and myself attempted to get to rule; get on the train long before it departs, grab a compartment, and try to The tendency among inexperienced travellers (like me) is to take too Slovenia within a day. Walking down the mountain to the village I felt pret look like the last person in the world a. respectable EU citizen would much. A rucsac is the obvious starting point, and sleeping bag comes in a ty good about life, travelling and solar eclipses, but one question still both want to share space with. Taking your shoes off is a good start. Balkans close second, although most hostels will lend you sheets and blankets for a ered me; what exactly was I doing there? After a brief diversion to the Black Forest near are, put simply, modest fee. Money belts seem popular, although I can't stand them - your Freiburg, we arrived in Munich on 6th. Here beautiful. The scenery is wallet in a buttoned or zipped pocket is almost as effective. On the clothes we stayed at a vast and beautiful, endless forested hills with front never underestimate the power of T-shirts, and don't pretend you won't Why go inter-railing? muna! hostel known as The^^^^^TjPR<^:*::M fairytale hilltop castles, and some of the best need to do any laundry. A cheap watch with a light and a decent alarm is Tent. One of the_^^^r^K«"*^^ coastline in Europe. Ljubljana is an expanse of white a good idea - there's nothing worse than going from Munich to Salzburg

There are as many reasons to go travelling round Europe as there are Swiss b ~ - * *-™§ stone and quiet backstreets, with a dash of modern glass mono and waking up in Vienna. The standard first aid kit is a must (plasters, anti railway companies. If you think that cave exploration in Morocco would be lith thrown in. Zagreb's bars stream endlessly onto steep cobbled alley septic, etc), and puratabs will definitely help you to avoid water problems a tad too much effort, but you don't really want to spend the summer ways. The people are beautiful, from the intense good looks of the young (except for the taste). El 1 1 forms (available from the post office if you working in the pub again, then perhaps Europe is calling you to the dignified wisdom of the elderly - and they are the friendliest folk I've haven't already got one), photocopies of your passport and driving licence So what if it's cool to explore Thailand and sorted to ever met. I went clubbing in both Ljubljana and Zagreb, and the sheer and some travel insurance are all useful in case of emergencies. Obvious spend the summer in Ibiza? Inter-railing is re ly if. you're going somewhere hot sun lotion and insect repellent should be things about enthusiasm and joy that the crowd possessed at having the freedom to atively cheap and hassle free, while added to that list. Travellers cheques are a handy way to carry money, travelling is the peo dance until dawn is something I've never seen in a London club.- at the same time allowing you to although the:rise of ATMs almost everywhere in Europe is rapidly making ple you meet, and The Tent The remnants of the break up of Yugoslavia remain, of course. I met a improve that character profile on your them redundant; Some loose currency is also useful - finding the bank is was an excellent environment for man in Ljubljana who used to live in Bosnia before the war. Now, under the CV Most of all, though, it provides a rarely your first priority on entering a new city. socialising. It had a cheap bar, a large nightly Dayton accord, his village Serb controlled and he dares not go back. He great chance to see the continent, have fire, and the usual gathering of wasters from around the lives, with his wife and two children, in one room in a friend's house in the For food and drink, a water bottle is a must, and plastic or metal cut a laugh, get a tan, and maybe learn continent you'd expect. Meeting people is also useful, as in gen city. He told me "for so long I was bitter, now I just forgive... but I can't go lery and/or bowls are also useful. Travel pillows can seriously increase com something on the way. Why choose trains eral they give more accurate advice and information than the guide back. I have no. money. Maybe next year I can' get some land, some fort on long journeys, although a rolled up shirt is almost as pleasant. A instead of buses? Because they are a lot books. We learnt, from a Brighton lad called Mike, about a town called money... maybe." I found myself wondering whether it was merely coinci daysack to put this stuff in is a good idea, particularly if you like to have a more reliable, and not much more expensive Groningen in Holland which I visited shortly before returning to England - dence that a people who have endured so much suffering in recent years guidebook on you at all times. There's not much to choose between Rough if you're travelling for more than 2 or 3 weeks. it was a cool student-based town, barely mentioned in Lonely Planet, that I have such strength and love of life as that which I encountered. Guide and Lonely Planet - both list non-existent restaurants (and, worse still, Besides, you try getting from Florence to Amsterdam in one night on a bus. would never have gone to otherwise. hostels), quote incorrect prices and are fairly arbitrary in what they cover. Thirty days inter-railing can cost no more than £1000, subject to drink Stopping off at Salzburg for a night or two, we then headed to Villach Rough Guide tends to tell you more about a place and its history, while fail ing habits and exchange rates. A one month all zone inter-rail pass is cur to meet our companion. The journey from Salzburg to Villach has to one of ...and then the beach ing to provide any decent maps, whereas Lonely Planet will list the local rently about £260; allow £10-15 a night for accommodation in hostels, £5- the most pleasant in Europe, as the train winds its way through stereotypi swimming pool's phone number but not tell you who built the cathedral. 10 a day for food and suchlike, and around £50 for getting in and out of cal Alpine mountains and valleys. We actually did the trip twice in one day, You can't be a cultural observer all the time and, after a few days in Ljubl Take your pick. Britain and insurance, and you're about there. This does, of course, assume returning to Salzburg before setting out to Traunkirchen. jana and Zagreb, I headed down the Croatian coast to Dubrovnik. Surpris A few more items which are invaluable and can be carried at all times: you have a rucsac and the obvious equipment (see below). After the eclipse a succession of unfortunate experiences taught me an ingly undamaged by the siege seven years ago, when Serbian forces encir Penknife, string, those small screwdrivers you get in Christmas crackers, If all this sounds a little below your normal daily budget, then consider important lesson; don't tempt fate. Jan and I decided to camp and, refus cled the town on land and sea, the old city is a tourist trap, but a wonder small torch, a lighter and, of more questionable usefulness, a compass. camping. The only trouble is that this can be somewhat tricky in and around ing to pay the extortionate fees at the campsite, headed up the hill to find ful one. Apart from the beautiful marbled streets and maze of alley ways, Obviously don't forget notebooks, pens, walkmans, cameras, etc, and the cities, as well as quite demanding for weeks on end. If you'd rather not take more illegal places to sleep. I remember uttering the words "this isn't too the water in this part of the Adriatic is extremely clean and clear, and very phone number of your girlfriend / boyfriend / mother / lawyer (delete as a tent then use overnight trains (supplements will rarely cost as much as hos steep..." - words I regretted later that night as I rolled down the tent and inviting at around 18 degrees. applicable). Beware of using mobile phones abroad - I ran up £100 bill in tels), or sleep in fields occasionally. Do not sleep in the park in Freiburg - onto a sharp rock for the tenth time. The following night we managed to get I spent a day on the island of Lokrum, originally famous for being where 28 days using it only for text messages and about five calls home. And don't you may be woken up by some rather friendly gentlemen. My other way of stuck in Jesenice, an uninteresting industrial town just inside Slovenia, wait- Richard the Lionheart was supposedly shipwrecked, now more visited forget your inter-rail pass, purchasable from STA. 8 Fresher Week Roundup Felix 18 October 1999 Freshers Week 99 The highs, the lows, the headaches, the heartaches and the haircuts

Diary THE WEEKEND Helping Freshers move into hall makes me feel old. Occasionally getting asked what A-Levels I KEYWORDS ARRIVAL got doesn't help matters much, as I can only barely remember what I actually did, let alone PARENTS the grades. On the other hand, after a summer of living in a hall that's either empty or full of tour GETTING LOST groups who don't speak English, it's nice to have some students around.

Diary MONDAY The queues set in and staff and students every where seem to have their mental health balanced KEYWORDS QUEUES on a knife edge. I'm not going to go near the Union today if I can possibly help it. Suddenly AGGRAVATION realise that I forgot to register last week, so some time soon I'm going to have to do this too. Damn. BALL The Freshers Ball's a laugh though - hundreds of 18 year olds on their first night of freedom.

Diary TUESDAY The first inklings of Freshers Flu are beginning to show themselves, and I feel yucky. Not helped by KEYWORDS FRESHERS FAIR the fact that it's Freshers Fair today - sheer mad ness, tempered only by being rushed off my feet CONFUSION for most of the afternoon. Helena wins the "who can blag the most free stuff" contest, collecting AL MURRAY four carrier bags full. Andy and Joel decide to launch a "find the fittest Fresher contest".

Diary WEDNESDAY From my point of view, things start to calm down as the new intake head off into their first lecture - KEYWORDS FIRST LECTURE poor fools. Start reminiscing about my Freshers Week and suddenly realise that I probably went to FIRST BAD LECTURE more lectures in the first month than in the whole of last year. At lunchtime a million people all SPORTS TRIALS seem to want to go to Harlington. I wander how many of them will want to go back?

Diary THURSDAY Thursday can mean only one thing - it's lie in day. Mmmm. Freshers don't seem to have KEYWORDS LIE IN worked this out yet though, and they're all troop ing into lectures and lab like sheep. I'm sure SCARY STAFF they'll learn the beauty of the words "full printed course notes" in a couple of weeks. In the HYPNODOG evening it's time for the weirdest bit of the week's Ents - one man and his amazingly silly dog.

Diary FRIDAY Finally it's Friday - one last day and the silliness is over for another year. Shame really. Fortunate KEYWORDS * HANGOVER ly, before that there's still the Freshers Carnival, which is a perfect opportunity to watch hordes of CARNIVAL people destroying what little reputation they had. If you haven't seen Natasha Newton and Kevin EMBARRASSMENT Butcher singing Summer Nights (naturally Kev was Olivia Newton John) you haven't lived. 18 October 1999 Felix Feedback 9

*int

In a quiet moment last week, instead ot there being just one in the BUSA competition, and bar or two. Breakpoint was gazing through "Imperial" team). The reason also that medics can captain the However, sport is one of the the pages of "London Student" - given by London Student's intrep notorious IC Fencing Team to few things that still matters deeply ULU's very own "Daily Star" id reporter was "...to avoid pay similar glory. to our members, and (in Break (complete with former failed ing two sets of entry fees". In Breakpoint's opinion, point's opinion), our elected rep politicians ranting on as usual). Oh dear, oh dear. Even allow BUSA leagues are the only reason resentatives should be losing As I cast the wretched thing aside ing for the inexperience of our for Wednesday afternoon sport to sleep fighting for the rights of all in favour of my regular Friday current sabbatical masters (and exist at all. Although ULU prom our members to run around morning tussle with Fermat's Last mistress), this should have been ised to create competition muddy fields chasing odd-shaped Theorem (I refuse to believe it's as easy to spot as the Rector in leagues of a similar standard balls, if they want to. as simple as they make out), the drag at an ICU carnival (for those three years ago, that promise Here we go again just headline "MERGERS PUT SPORT that didn't see him, it was a sight took the famous Malet Street another example of the sabbs AT RISK" sprang out at me like a to behold). After all, the hybrid "duck & dive". playing politics with people's pissed footy lad in dB's on a Fri system (whereby ICSM can enter If we're forced down the sin lives. day night. separately in those sports where it gle-entry drainpipe, it will only It's not on for ICU to take

The surprising part was the can field teams, but play for IC mean that less of our students will these decisions without consulting claim that our dear old alma teams in those sports - like fenc have the chance to play at us, so anybody who remotely mater has reversed its policy on ing - where there is no medical national level. Breakpoint's suspi cares about sport at IC and ICSM BUSA entry, and decided to back school team), was formulated by cions are that the medics won't be should be banging on Tim Trail a "single-entry" option. (For the DP(C&S) of ICU, back in the ones losing out, either. er's office door demanding an those unsure, this refers to an 1997, and has worked pretty reli Believe me, if it wasn't for the explanation. Now. anachronism of the medical ably since then. popularity of our clubs and soci What do you think? E-mail merger whereby the School of It means- that, like last year, eties, ICU would not exist at all. breakpointl [email protected] to Medicine can enter separate the ICSM Rugby Team, can go on Sherfield has proved itself more share your opinions with the rest teams into the BUSA competition, to become National Runners-Up than capable of running a student of IC.

The central library is undergoing a high-tech nerves." She then continued looking for sym Kevin also learnt of a UROP (Undergradu revolution. The first Kevin knew of this was pathy from the students, by saying that part of ate Research Opportunities Programme) stu when he noticed new flat screen monitors on her r"le is to be slated on the front page of dent working in the Physics department over the issue desk. Felix. Ms Newton is a medical student. the summer on a device which involved using Kevin was intrigued as to whether this an array of cunningly located microphones to improvement was merely cosmetic, and asked pinpoint the location of a sound source. The some questions. The Library responded by say system was designed with the intention of ing; "The flat screens are wonderful and take installing it in Southside, to detect the source up far less room, so the issue desk is less clut of loud music. tered." The change of image will also result in Mish Kevin believes that it is the existence of the the clamourous hand bell being replaced by a ridiculous music finding device that has given new public address system. Kevin expects the rise to the rumours of the even more implausi hand bell to be preserved in a glass case in ble RADAR. the entrance hall. Mash Having read the evocative entry in the Fresh Constituent College Unions got off to a-great A Mostly Harmless Column by er's Handbook for the Socialist Worker Stu start, making an excellent impression on their Kevin, a random entity who dent Society Kevin decided to find their stall at new students. The RCSU held a free BBQ and knows nothing about nothing the Fresher's Fair. Kevin was hoping to find the Medic's Union succeeded in the brilliant some non-apathetic IC students. Instead he feat of enabling all Fresher's to.be in the audi As many people have pointed out to Kevin, was accosted by a persevering member of the ence of TFI Friday. Kevin is doubtful that the windows in Southside can in fact be fully 'local branch' who had nothing at all to do Fresher's first impression of the ICU president opened. Whilst investigating college's deci with IC. Two typical IC students sat meekly was so favourable. Compared to the inspira sion to remove the blocks Kevin came across behind their desk, from which they were selling tional speeches by CCU presidents Tasha's rumours of a RADAR based system which newspapers. The SWSS has never been fond of performance at the welcomes was pathetic. could following ICU rules. Claiming to be too ill to stand up, she spoke allegedly identify which room any projectile sitting behind a desk. Whilst speaking she thrown out of a hall window came from. Per We all know who to e-mail with comments on showed that her new found power had gone to haps this system made the blocks redundant. the state of the Union: [email protected]. her head, with quotes such as; "ICU deals with Such a technological solution to the problem the big guns stuff" and the very friendly; "I can would of course be entirely appropriate here For more from Kevin: ban you, I can fine you, I can get on your at the MIT of Europe. http://come.to/mishmash 10 Union Felix 18 October 1999

reengineering the THE CITY & GUILDS COLLEGE UNION SECTION way you think

This week's Constituent College Union is CGCU, who take their page into their own hands... Star Wars Leads Guilds Events

he first major event of the City Friday 22nd November 1999, JCR, 5 pounds ises to provide a highly charged & Guilds College Union cal atmosphere all night long. Each endar is this week Friday - the ticket holder will receive a fixed TStar Wars Disco. To celebrate this number of tokens with which you summer's blockbuster from George can gamble all night. At the end of Lucas, CGCU have put together the evening, guests will be invited one of the most spectacular parties to exchange winnings for mystery of the year. prizes.

This futuristic party which will So for your chance to party till be more than a disco. Chill out the early hours of the morning and zones and pool table are perhaps celebrate the motion picture event some of the more standard attrac of the decade, purchase your tions common with any disco. The ture a miniature cinema featuring ly to be the greatest attraction Advanced Tickets (only £5). The significant differences include a the classic Star Wars movies play be the casino. event will be hosted in JCR on the portion of the arena that will fea- ing all night. However, what is like The debut of the casino prom 22nd October and starts at 9pm. Atlantis Is Rising

vents in the pipeline for later in day 7th November there is Raiders the term include the aquatic Of The Lost Bus, a bus party on a theme spectacle of the year, collision course to Brighton, escort AHantisE : The C&G Freshers Dinner, ed by CGCU's motorized mascots, scheduled for 19th November. Bo and Derrick. Before all that, next Thanks to all the City & Guild Col week CGCU and ICU Cinema will lege Departments for their support: be showing some Austin Powers Aeronautics, Biological & Medical related movies: Austin Powers and Systems, Chemical Engineering, Austin Powers 2 on Monday, and Civil Engineering, Dept. of Comput Wayne's World and Austin Powers 2 ing, Electrical Engineering, Man on Tuesday. The build up events agement and Mechanical Engineer towards Atlantis will start soon after ing. Before this main event, on Sun wards in late October. The Director's Cut

e are now in a world By Dinesh Ganesarajah, CGCU President some of our more ageless cus where the attention span toms, restyling others for the mod is shorter and Brand Loy ideas of what it is that Guilds ter and Faster. This does not mean ern generation and introducing altWy is scarce. The question is no should be doing. It is not that any duplicating existing activities done new ambitions. longer that of which entity you of these directions are instantly elsewhere and mushrooming The events we have planned belong to, but which offers the wrong, as any notion pushed with them. Neither does it mean remi and the activities we participate in most. The current trend of the e- due conviction will result in the niscing with the past and restarting are motivated by this design. Over planet Earth is. a disease that correct success. It is the lack of any traditions that no longer have any the year, this section of Felix, to demands Bigger, Better and Faster. forward direction that leads to interest. It means organizing activ appear approximately once a Reducing process times and maxi inactivity. ities that will give CGCU the great month, will track what we do and mizing the adrenaline rush seems This year's City & Guilds Col est unique appeal to the current have planned for this generation of to be just a way of life. lege Union does have a direction. generation of City & Guilds Col the Guildsman. This is what the Each new administration The direction is to put CGCU on lege students. The means will be a current generation expects from brings with it a new vision and new the forefront of what is Bigger, Bet combination of reintroducing us. This is Generation X. Our goal is to be the best To be the best, we need diversity.

J.P. Morgan is interested in meeting talented ethnic minority students seeking careers

in the City. The firm will be hosting an informal dinner on Wednesday 27 October

starting at 7.00pm at 60 Victoria Embankment, London EC4Y OJP. Those interested

in attending should send their CVs including email address by e-mail directly to:

Iraj Ispahani Vice President E-mail: [email protected]

JP Morgan

j.P. Morgan is an equal opportunity employer. 12 Union 18 October 1999 Felix The State of the Union

Hi, Mystic Meg here, trying to pre By Natasha Newton, Imperial College Union President - This Week's Union Meetings - dict this week's compliant and launch a preemptive response - print it because it is quite long. truce between medics and non. Mon 18th ICU and ICSMSU meet didn't do too bad last week. Essentially the story is thus: Warners (Not that all are fighting, but all are wardens to discuss Freshers Week were afraid of fraud. They thought affected.) My interest lies solely with timetable clashes. Ok, so thanks for all the feedback. the NUS could help the'm. They the Students of Imperial. Not of one BUSA discusses mergers and ULU Apparently I am too anal. Sorry. I now accept only NUS cards. This is department or race or gender or and medics and the future. didn't want to try to be funny silly. NUS Universities can chose to any other division which could be 1 pm wwweb meeting All welcome. made. We have 10 months until we because I knew I would not be, still have the standard card or add the Clubs committee room. merge with Wye College. What I will attempt to be more relaxed, in logo to their own cards, so the cin Tues 19th .13.00 A&E treasurers image we will present to them? Will fact even now I am lying down lis ema is turning away all of us non- meeting in resource centre. those 1000 students be welcomed tening to whale music. (See, said I NUS universities and lots of NUS 6.30pm Union Finance Commit into a hostile, prejudiced environ tee [Resource Centre] - money for couldn't be funny.) Also we are ones. I will keep you posted as to ment where the last merger looks clubs and the lack thereof hotly con looking into the numbers of non- the reply I get to my letter to the set to rumble on like Catholics V tested. student staff employed in the Head of Operations at Warner Protestants from Henry VIII Union. Brothers. In the mean time, anyone ULU Presidents council - Tasha lis onwards. I hope not. When they who simply must go to Warner and tens to the others complain about the arrive their courses and lives will be Sorry again to all those who again nowhere else, can get an ISAAC NUS & LT cards. affected as were the lives of those thought I was a bad person over card from STA on the walkway. CAG will meet for soup run as who endured the ICSM merger. We the alleged events with the sports usual contact [email protected] have the experience to make them hall. To be honest we are not the WOTNOT is up and running, email Weds 20th Academic affairs com feel at home, to understand how problem the problem is the local newsletters are here, take a look at mittee 13:00 [Clubs Committee Rm] they will feel. At the moment they residents. We want the sports hall, icu.wotnot.net. DPEW goes to Project 2001 - must fear stepping into IC as sol with times and areas we can use. reshaping registry @ IC. diers feared going 'over the top'. They do not want the sports hall at The Greater London Authority and Thurs 21st 12.30pm RCC treasur Inter-CCU rivalry is a long standing all. At the last planning meeting the London Mayor elections are on ers meeting [Resource Centre]. good fun tradition, but is more "in favour' petition which the Union their way. To be able to vote you 13.00 Retail committee - students mascots than massacre. Dare I sug talk about what the shop sells. helped to put together was ignored need to register. Simply cut out the gest that it's time to wipe the slate for the sake of a very small number form and drop it back to the Union 18.00 Exec - day to day manage clean. Lets have a go at the Presi office. If you are not sure about vot ment of ICU of letters of complaints from the dent for being crap at her job and ing it is best to register anyway as Fri 22nd 10.30am College Coun locals. not for her choice of profession. the opportunity to do so will shrink cil. College discusses progress. Thanks to all of you who have as time passes. 2.30pm the Aldwych Group (high I have copied a letter to Felix which offered your support to me as a ranking Unions) meet at ULU. I sent off to Warner Brothers Cine result of the Felix letters etc. mas this week. I don't know if they'll And finally, what will it take to get a Give Me My Vote THE IDIOT-PROOF WAY TO ENSURE THAT YOU GET YOUR VOTE IN THIS YEAR'S ELECTIONS

Name

Address on 10 October 1999

Postcode

Date of Birth

..../.../.... I declare that these details are correct and that I am a British, other Commonwealth or other European Community Citizen.

Please Tick here if you are an EC Citizen but not British or Irish

Now simply cut out this form and hand it into Union reception (Beit Quad, first floor). If you get it to the Union before December 12 1999 then you will be on the electoral roll in time to vote for London's Mayor and the Greater London Authority. If you miss this deadline then phone ULU on 020 7664 2000 and they should be able to sort you out (until 27 February 2000).

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S/Ofet ^" vacanc'es at are °Pen t0 DOtn men aRd women regardless of "'^Hy etnn'c or'9'n 'n ''ne w'tn tori's equal opportunities policy 14 Feedback Felix 18 October 1999 Feedback

BREAK BACK 'talk to Tasha' suggestion isn't so provision at IC. I am told by sever 'crap' after all. I also understand al good sources that the so-called

Dear Felix, that 'Union attempts to protect facts in the column are not entirely Week two of 'it's not quite like sports provision for all IC students Correct. I personally do not know that'. regardless of CCU' would have any of the facts, so I will not com As you will have seen in my col made a less juicy story and would ment further. In future, maybe the umn last week, your explanation of have afforded less personal insults. writer of the column should take a Still may be a little trust can be Editor. why iCU hesitated in backing the similar position. gained by this experience. Deputy Editor....Mane Nicholaou new sports hall was way off the mark: Anyone who wants the full John Quantrell .Asst Ed (Reviews)....,.::.,.Jo.s>; Lewis Assl Ed (Layout) ;S:...VV True fact one: Teddington is not paperwork on the on going sports ICU Arts & Ents Board Chair in the business plan for the new hall developments, please contact

t Jews Andrew Ofon centre, Southside gym is. The deal the Deputy President Clubs and .: Jonus h Isdy is it goes, and whether that leaves Societies at [email protected]. QUIZ COMEBACKS Sports .;...Gus Paul our teams with room and time to .e :. Vi practice/play etc, is what the Union Tasha Dear Kevin, Music has been fighting about. All of this I must take exception to your . 'si Helen I means that the stronger willed Dear Felix highly misinformed piece of text 5s...Aily Vivian & Ben medics don't give a monkey's! I did I am writing in reply to the masquerading as a feature article from issue 1 152, 1 1 October. It is I ..Ben h'.isher and so does the DP Clubs and inane ramblings in the "Break Societies. Point" column last week. The.tone indeed a fact that the team that oks ;.:. Russell Cummer "it, Vaa ii True fact two: Council planning of the column does suggest that the qualified to appear on the televised meetings took place over the sum writer is only writing because of a rounds of University Challenge was mer, iCU council did not. Thus the personal vendetta he has against a team of medics - but if only you sabbs together with the Union La Presidentina (NOT ElPresi- had bothered to read Felix last year dente!). There may be some cau you would have known that the col Ed Sexton, Chris Jockson, manager did our best to talk to College and negotiate enough tion about how well Tasha Newton lege-wide trials the Quiz Society will work as a Medic ICU President. organised last year attracted a fair iiilidri, Sill! Rao, Chris ince, space and time in the new centre. This caution is, however, only amount of attention, and the team Gareth Morgan, Chris Powell, A lot of work was done by Tim based on the performance of the that was picked was the best that Shanaka Katuwalaha, Gas Trailor (DP Clubs and Socs) and as previous Medic to have held the could be given the circumstances. Natasha Newton,.Dovid Roberts I said last week we are finally approaching, what our clubs need. position, whose performance was The chance of losing out on excep The next council planning meeting only marginally better than his tionally good quizzers with a team- Reviewers is on the 14th of October (after this choral conducting skills. based competition for entrants that goes to press, outcome next week), you suggest is simply far too great Christian, Andy, Hardy, Top Cat, The comments about Medics for it to be viable. the next council was the 12th shouting louder than everyone else where fhe membership was James, Ahmed, "Helen, Ben, Viv, may appear to be valid to many Taking part in something so Graeme, Ben informed of what had gone on. people. In my experience, there are prestigious as UC should be a mat They asked questions and did not a few Medics who rant and rave, ter of pride, but the fact is that it is Photographers object (This is as close as they get but the majority get on with their next to impossible to groom a team to 'supporting' things). or for individuals to take part in The amazing Jonas Lindsay lives and are generally very co True fact three: I hope it is now operative and are not very different such an intellectually demanding clear that the volley ball provision from the rest of the students at IC. quiz contest without taking part in could have been completely dimin The main decision makers in the regular quizzes and reading ished had Tim not worked on this Medics SU, including their new around to keep abreast of events and if we had rolled over to Col sabbatical President, are very ami and happenings in the world out lege's demands. At one point Col able, enthusiastic people who are side academia. This is where hav willing to work with, and to benefit, ing a Quiz Society helps, but the External tel & \n;.- 01 71 594 8072 lege was suggesting we merge clubs like martial arts to reduce our all students at IC, not just the sad fact is that nobody appears to usage - would that have been fair? Medics. be bothered about it or to show llll E-mail; ! '-Sill any genuine interest in joining or I am sorry that neither of you If the students at IC would taking regular part in one. I might felt able to talk to me about this. I actually talk to the Medics, rather as well admit that the QuizSoc realise that this would have to than just believe everything that is exists only in name, it has next to mean you putting a face or a name written in Felix, they would find that no members and no money and to you letter/column. There will be they can drink as well as any engi may God help Imperial's chances occasions this year when I will do neer or miner (take note C&G & once Chris Harrison leaves here. things which go against some stu RSM) and some are even interested It's not always that the informal dents - unless College replaces us in sci-fi (RCS?). team you form with mates down the all with Clones. But may be the Finally, the details about sports

The deadline for letters intended for publication is Wednesday 12 noon - drop into the porta cabins or email [email protected]. Letters may be edited for length but not grammar or spelling. 18 October 1999 Felix Feedback 15 pub is going to be the best team. reality with both student presses So, again, if anybody's inter (Felix and Prince Albert) being ested, drop us a line at more than willing to publish badly [email protected]. I'm sorry, but I've researched even sometimes libelus become cynical about this busi reports about each other without ness, though I am obviously ready really thinking through the poten and willing to manage a society if tial consequences for medic non- there are people willing to get medic relations. involved and organise regular In my humble opinion I think WHO DO YOU WANT I'r events. Meanwhile, Kevin, do it's now time to forget our differ TO BE TODAY? fcx please try to find out about matters ences (or at least accept them) and he instead of preferring the lame get on with having fun and study I finally got around to registering cc excuse that you know "nothing ing whatever we came here to last Wednesday, and as I did so pi

about nothing" - it's starting to study. I think it would be a real it;: wris not without a Gertehn up wear really thin. shame if IC and ICSM got a repu degree of concern over the sys- w tation for bad feeling and animos tern involved. I walked up to the n< »nt one just

Sunil Rao ity between it's own students when counter in registry and said the sc ISE 2 at the end of the day we are all magic words "Hello, I'm David part of the same college. Roberts, I've come to register", at which point the girl on duty AN INTRAY STUFFED A PLEA FOR SANITY Tom Burchell duly presented me with a piece TO THE BRIM... Prince Albert Editor of paper which proclaimed lo

Dear Felix the world that I was Mr D A way, back to more sensible After the fiasco of last year with frenzied games of insult tennis we OR ALTERNATIVELY... all thought that life was about to calm down. So has it? Has it, my Dear Felix, eat. I don't ring! No one thought that Imperial What the F**K have you guys Well, the point is this: Assi vith a thing and iCSM would immediately jump been smoking??? If you hadn't I'm not Felix Editor and inst cts some of into bed with each other on the first noticed we are at the same college I'm just some random thirc e an interest date but it would be nice to think as you and Tasha Newton is your fourth year student. I war -ik a little, it that we could at least sleep in the president, she is not a medic, she is into registry the week be same room. employed by Imperial College of term begins and say someo For those of you who are new Science, Technology and Medicine name. They give me a f here I shall briefly explain what the and was elected by you to repre which I have to sign, from w how few people there are on this score has been over the last few of sent the views and wishes of the campus who are prepared to years. In 1988 the publication of entire student body. If you feel so speak up for their interests or to ensure that they get a fair deal. the Thomlinson report on medical strongly about her then you oer ana nexr or Kin. i go aown 10 Oh, and no prizes for guessing education in London decided that shouldn't have put a tick next to her security and got a new swipe which of the letter writers on the there were too many small (uneco name. If you want to take it further card made up with my new iden opposite page is going to run for nomic) medical schools. This led to then you might like to get some tity. I then pop over to the Union sabbatical at the end of the the subsequent merger of some of signatures from your non apathetic and pick up Union, ULU and LT year.,. these schools, the most important student body and start a vote of no Discount cards all in this false of which being Charing Cross with confidence. If on the other hand name. OK, so I've got lots of Anyway, it looks like we're in Westminster and St. Mary's with you are just using her as an excuse plastic - what good is that? Well, for a long winter of "do we want Imperial and the subsequent merg to slag off medics then stop. We for my next trick I wander into a merged College or not" er of Charing Cross and Westmin would like to be a member of your NatWest and ask to open a stu debate (especially with the ster with Imperial/Mary's to form happy family and not just the pret dent account - and unless murky issue of merging sports what we now know as ICSM. From ty sister who pulls all the blokes. NatWest policy has changed teams rapidly appearing on the there on in it has been a bumpy recently, they accept my registra horizon). My answer is a simple ride with Imperial trying to impose Tom Burchell tion form and one other proof of "Yes of course we do, stop being a technical college way of life to Prince Albert Editor my address (ie an envelope on so stupid", but then again I do medics and the medics trying which I've typed the correct false have a tendency to be a little (rightly or wrongly) to maintain the idealistic. If nothing else, I'm medics way of teaching and stu AND FINALLY... glad to be able to agree whole dent life. As you can imagine this heartedly with everything Tom has not been and easy time for Dear Felix, Burchell says in his first letter either the medics or our new moth Is the five year old responsible aqain and pick i (and indeed most of what he er college but with vast amounts of for designing the Account Forms says in his second) - particularly compromise and the occasional the same as the one responsible as Tom is just about as much of flare up it looked like we were on for printing and distribution ot the my new account and withdraw a die hard old-school Mary's track for the first easy year since Monthly Reports'? the cash ASAP - if he/she was on man as you're likely to find. I 1988. a full grant I'm now £800 up. look forv/ard to the next issue of Unfortunately this looks like One of the many baffled Better still, however, third and Prince Albert with great relish. becoming more of a dream than a accounts clerks fourth years are still offered As a great man once said, loans by the SLC, without any of communication is the issue. All complaints should be addressed to the Editor. If no satisfactory this LEA hassle, so I should be reply is received, contact the Media Group Chair ([email protected]) r.Wo tr, Urtwo rt tnil nrnnt fnn trie Dove (Computer Shop) Level 4 Mechanical Engineering Building Ext. 46953 9.30am - 5.00pm

[email protected]

Prices @ http://www.cc.ic.ac.uk/admin/shop/ Microsoft Student Deals

Office Pro 2000 OR Office 98 for MAC Only £105.75 inc. VAT

Visual Studio Pro only £85.00 inc. VAT 18 October 1999 Felix Reviews 17

mmm liilii

Pick of the week: El Alice in Chains N frequency >y Matador Artists La Scandale

Election screen Win tickets to American Pie

Veronika Decides.. pulp Reviewers wanted (please)

Emma method The Wilsdons A Last chances

Quake III react Jagged Alliance © Tiberian Sun 18 Music Felix 18 October 1999

LOCKED ON THE BEST OF S8UBIE CD FROM THE UK'S LfADltf UMGROUKD UUU Mil imam mmvi, mm i imx mm mm,, tijjfi MM, mm. m s« mtn FM ESSSKI&, 8B ;91

So into the second week of frequency. This time Alice in Chains Locked On Artists we've got a real mixed bag for you. There's the Music Bank Boxed Set The Best of... rocky Alice in Chains and a garage mix for you (Columbia) (Locked On) on our front page. Fur ther on, in our clubs sec Alice in Chains are a very much-maligned band. They have a With heads still banging from the exploits of tion, we serve a wickedly career spanning over ten years and have released some of the Aiya Napa garage fans are treated to the smelly slice of cheese most well crafted but least heard alternative rock music. This best Locked On has to offer. The promi with an article about Music Bank boxed set contains 48 tracks on three CDs, from an nent garage label has decided to cash in LaScandale from every unsigned Alice in l 988 up to the present day line-up and still dis on its anthems and churned out this latest one's favourite IC presi tinctive sound. It also delivers a fourth CD-ROM of music videos, double CD compilation showcasing their dent Dave Hellard. and a game. Sadly however, this disc didn't appear with my biggest tunes. Some how on the same promo copy of the album. page we manage a seri Packed full of DJ's old faithfuls this collec ously good selection of Perhaps the main reason for Alice in Chains exclusion from the tion is testament to Locked On's eminence, clubnights in our listings. rock mainstream and lack of stadium rock success is Layne Sta- although it fails to make any impact on the ley's chronic drug abuse. His heroin use is well documented and plethora of garage compilations out there. ...welcome to has prevented the band from serious touring thus losing a valu There is certainly no shortage of quality with able fan base and testing ground for new material. That aside, Tuff Jams making there obligatory appear frequency... Alice In Chains are possibly the greatest band you never heard, ance; used their Need Good Love which as Music Bank will prove. crashed and burned in the clubs. The pure

There's still no columns class of tracks such as the bass ridden Dan though, but this is not As with all those early 90s Seattle based groups, Alice's formula gerous and the vocal mix of Hyperfunk the fault of our eager is a simple one: tortured. Powerful lyrics, a heavy, forceful riff keep the collection true to the underground beaver writers. Milen and a thumping rhythm section. These three CDs take us through roots of garage but this CD has primarily has done well with Tha the evolution of that sound. From the primal late 80s demos of I been produced for the commercial club Bomb, but due to pub Can't Have You Blues and Whafcha Gonna Do, through tracks bers who love the funky uplifting vibe dealt lishing problems we will from 5 studio albums and EPs to the most recent and refined Get out by clubs like the Ministry. all have to wait till next Born Again, there's always Jerry Contrail's discordant guitar and week for the rant to Staley's punchy, harrowed vocals to remind us who we're listening Up-beat remixes fill the second CD, Bump begin. The jazz column to. The early live track Queen Of The Rodeo is a gem simply for & Flex check in with a fresh vocal mix of should also kick out the lyrics and the rest of the unreleased tracks are a well round Straight from the Heart, Todd 'The God' soon, but we're still wait ed selection: a required purchase for any rock fan's collection. Edwards features his house mix of Need ing for any volunteers to Music Bank is a carefully chosen resume of Alice in Chains and is Good Love which gives the one dimension help with rock / indie / just what a boxed set should be, a collection of the best works of al original a party feel with its rolling b-line classical / reggae / etc. the artist or band in question. and clean vocals. The Rhythm masters come up with the best remix of the compi music columns. My only gripe is that they've put too many tracks from their l 992 lation with their superb remix of Destiny, the track grabs you from the start and refuses if you'd like to help with album Dirt on the compilation. Ten out of twelve songs appear to let go; its tracey feel and echoing music and club writing at which makes me think that some of them are being used as filler. vocals make it a definite floor filler. Felix just drop into the That minor niggle laid to rest, Music Bank is the best boxed set office and ask for Joel or I've heard for a long while and it chronicles a band with a unique, James, or come to our distinctive sound who certainly haven't had the recognition they Locked On have produced a compilation music meetings on Tues deserve. worthy of the name ... and your cash. days at l pm. We'd all be Christian Andy happy to have you. 18 October 1999 Felix Music 19 frequency

^JPPP» ^BHW^ WlWW1' "SWAWW w

Cube Matador Artists Yazoo

h10111 .1.1 Everything is Nice The Best of (Label) (Matador) (Label)

'Cube are shit', said my After 10 years in the business, Matador recordings have decided to Think back to the early 80s when pop not so subtle flatmate when give us this triple-CD compilation to celebrate. As you would expect from music was proudly synthetic and drum I brought this CD home. such a high-profile label, the back cover reads like a who's-who of indie machines sounded like, er, machines. A Unfair, I think. Sure ifs a bit music: on just one of the discs, there are contributions from the likes of fat bird and an effete bloke got together leaky in places, but there's Mogwai, Yo La Tengo, Pavement and the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. (via MM classifieds) and produced two some nice rock tunes on it. albums with some cracking tunes in a pro All fairly standard indie- Supposedly an overview of a decade at the cutting edge of music, I sus ductive two-year spell before the rock but laced with an pect that the marketing people have in some way manipulated the track inevitable 'musical differences' bit. Vince eclectic mix of other selection to favour bands still putting out records, who are healthily repre Clarke (ex Depeche Mode, and later Era sounds. Listen carefully sented, whilst neglecting excellent but defunct bands from nine years ago. sure) was your man. Alison Moyet was and you can hear strains of I suppose that it is reasonable to expect a label to attract more established your woman. The two mixed an unlikely Radiohead and even Led names once properly established, but it is slightly disappointing that names combination of electronics and blues with Zepplin. at the far end of the discography (which is thoughtfully included in the sometimes sublime results. sleeve notes) have been omitted.

Bizarreness aside, I can This compilation attempts to distil the really imagine the punters For the trainspotters amongst you, one of the CDs contains only tracks that essence of those pioneering times. Three at Camden Underworld were previously unreleased or available on the b-side to the Japanese sin 1999 mixes, including a pumping Todd bouncing around to one or gle version, or some similarly obscure edition. Usually record companies Terry remix of Don't Go are tacked onto two of the songs on a Fri have a good reason for not releasing a song (namely that it is not very the CD to encourage a younger genera day night, particularly Nat good), and this disc is no exception to that rule, despite some above-par tion to buy, but Ibiza anthems they ain't. ural Millionaire and efforts. It's not even as if avid collectors of any one band will get particu Only You sounds like it's aged the least George. The quieter larly excited, since the contributions come from fifteen different artists. gracefully, blame the Flying Pickets for songs are musically that. Nobody's Diary shows that you can dependable but lyrically In fact, this is the main problem with the entire compilation. The musical still manage to meld deep soul singing uninspiring, which is a scope of the album is impressively wide and encompasses many, perhaps and evocative musical hooks and get that shame. Further, this album too many, styles. Little thought, however, has been given to the running 'recorded on a 4-track portastudio' effect. sticks to the rigid format of order, and the resulting mish-mash is little better than that which the shuf 'Rock anthem at the begin fle function on any CD player would come up with. Whilst believing eclec Probably a CD for your elder siblings who ning and mandatory classi ticism to be a good thing, I do feel that a coherent musical thread running no longer spin their vinyl copies of cal instrument track further through the album would render the record more enjoyable. Upstairs At Eric's or You And Me Both. It on'. Cube seem to think includes their highlights and spares us of themselves as a Having said that, it would be unfair to dismiss the album out of hand. their really tedious experimental. It's hard depressed neo-Verve. Without picking any personal favourites, anyone ought to find something to imagine Yazoo being given a hearing in to please them from the forty-plus tracks spanning this attractively present today's formulaic pop world where record

All in all, it's an average ed triple-pack. Far from being purely indie-rock, as the reputation of Mata companies feel their profdits so under album that could have dor may lead us to believe, the music takes us into the realms of threat that anything experimental won't been a lot, lot better. A drum'n'bass, underground hip-hop and leftfield electronica, which is often get a fair chance. If your elder sibling little too two dimensional good. As expected from such a renowned label, there is quality here. It's does buy it, be sure to listen. Be sure to perhaps? just a question of isolating it. give it chance. Hardy Top Cat Ian ! ! 20 Music 18 October 1999 Felix frequency ^/^

The Clint Boon Experience Cousteau Planet Perfecto White No Sugar The Last Good Day Of The Year Bullet In The Gun (Artful) (Global Warming) (Perfecto)

Yes it is an experience. A sort of This chunk of siow, dim, beautiful House, in fact quite cheeky/classy one. This bloke, right, mood is this weeks winner. The music bog-standard produc talking on top of this music, right, is based on an old idea, quite 50's in tion house. Paul Oak Toaster and blokes shouting HEY in the fact. But the band does a wonderful enfold is one of the Six Million Dollar Goat background. Right. The music's sort job at mixing new ideas in to it, with names behind this one (Toaster Music) of rock (right) meets bigband (right) out disturbing the balance of it's and his fans should not meets easy listening. Clint Boon HAS inhereted predictability. Cosy, com be disappointed. The Loads of energy, some the funk, and the man is not afraid to forting and mystical. To me it's Tin- first version is a bit too theatrical ideas and use every type of flavour to give his dersticks versus Easy Listening. This Eurovision for me, but it some quite innovative music style. Loads of little bits of hasn't left my stereo all week. Look gets kickin' in the Satur guitar mixed with a scratch, voices samples and skits to out for the oppurtunity to experience day Mix. Think early Sat classic early 90's pop- spice up his stuff. this live. night as your getting rock foundation. This is ready. Sure to get you quite a stylish single, disco bunnies in the boyish and full of ideas. mood for a good night.

Mite no mmp tMlftfll

Divine Lyte Funkie Ones (LFO) Lately Summergirls (Red Ant) (Arista)

Divine won't let you The Mutton Birds James American, acoustic down baby. Sweet and As Close As This Just Like Fred Astaire funk. Very easy going sour soul with her very (Shhhl) (Mercury) white rap... In fact it's emotional voice, icing so easy going you the cake. The girl's got Good melodic rock from these James have got Brian Eno in their couldn't really call it it right. The remixes Kiwis. Down to earth well written team this time, AND Sinead O'Con rap, with more Beck- bring more street into and well structured music. At best nor. The bands initial talent + one flavour than ever hip hop. In it's minimal the music which is oth beautiful. A catchy tune and some of the greatest producers of all times ism it is a little bit thin. erwise quite homely. rather saddening ones. If you like + one of the most famous voices of You could definitely Simple but effective. classic bands such as U2 and REM today = Boys done well, I reckon. study to this. then this one is for you. Personally I like them best when they ID are at their most tender sweet, but that describes me more than them. These musical pop-rock tunes, are sure to making their way into your radio as you read these lines. ... Singles reviewed by Disa GRADUATE PRESENTATION

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Movement Tuesdays @ La Scandale Recommended Clubbing

@Bar Rhumba Drink till you're drop dead gorgeous After fierce ranting and super loud shout ing, frequency has picked this selection

With a capacity of just A recent survey of Imperial students who had failed their degrees revealed of delights for anyone wanting a Flint- four hundred and fifty, that the top three reasons for failure were lack of work, financial hardship stone-iike clubbing this week. Bar Rhumba provides a and La Scandale. One of the main problems of writing a review about La perfect venue for one of Scandale is that the few who live to tell the tale of what lies behind those Monday 18th October London's best drum and classy Neon lights, rarely remember what the tale is. Boom or Bust @ The Project W2; £4 bass nights. Going £1 a drink night with all kinds of musical under the name Move The first visit usually starts with an over-keen reapp, desperate to show his delights for any drunken dancers. ment, and having a flock what a fun loving guy he is. As you've already lost complete control Wednesday 20th October weekly Thursday resi of all of your bodily functions, he suggests that it must be time for your first Space @ Bar Rhumba; £3 dence it is a clubnight visit to the mystical wonderland that is La Scandale. Being the rational mind Angel Moraes makes an appearance this that rarely disappoints. that you are at the end of a Tuesday night, you naturally agree. week down at the Rhumba, which is a venue that rarely disappoints.

The Shaftesbury Avenue This is it. You are finally going. Wait until you tell your friends in hall and Thurday 21st October address should turn the on your course that you were first to go to what surely will become your sec Highrise @ home; £5 venue into a tourist trap, ond home and you can, them and the other 1000 IC students waiting in Weekly offering with residents John but this is no Hippo the cue. Once you're in, everything is going well, there's only one person Carter and Justin Robertson providing drome and regularly in front of you in the cue for the bar. But the wait continues, in true La Scan the soundwaves. . attracts some of the dale fashion he's ordering five triple vodkas and coke, three triple malibus Friday 22nd October biggest name DJs on the and orange and that's just for him. Encouraged by the fact his round only Serious@The Cross; £12 scene. Sometimes a lit came to £1 5, you get two beers in, for you and the lady friend you've man Judge Jules again gets a mention for his tle slow early on, the aged to acquire, strangely she seems to be getting slightly more attractive start the weekend madness. A good dancefloor only opens at as the night progresses. The bar man then blanks you and an eerie hush social crowd is assured, and you know it midnight, so the club ascends on the venue. "Beer? £15 please" will be seriously good. always feels full, and is Planet V @ fabric; £18 often rammed right up Having come with £25 in your wallet, a smile crosses your face as you Virtually everyone who's anyone in drum until the close at 3:30. realise it's only 60p for a shot and mixer, there's no way you can spend £25 and bass will be on the decks for the first with these prices, after all it must be nearly impossible to drink that much? public night at Fabric. It may be expensive,

News is emerging of a (Check your wallet tomorrow.) but the Planet V parties are always good. Movement special for Can you afford to miss out? the Millennium at the You now feel confident enough to hit the dance floor and break out into the Saturday 23rd October 1000 capacity Mass in one move you're sure impresses everyone. Even if you can't walk, you know fabric @ fabric; £?? Brixton. They will be you can still pull (ask me about my election night) so you scour the room John Digweed in the main room and teaming up with top for a friend who's already pulled and join the chain of people exchanging Groove Armada in the back, the launch label Planet V and are their current partner for the person's next to them. of fabric is gonna be LARGE!! I'll be promising a massive there and it's my birthday at twelve. line-up. Already con Fulfilled with your night and confident that by the morning you would have Mash up assured! There is no other firmed for the 31st are forgot minor details such as whether she was attractive, where you live or option for tonight!!! Roni Size, Krust and why you find yourself in a police cell (you know who you are Mark Smith), Brian Gee, and there you finally return home. To have your club added to this list just will be more mayhem at invite us a/ong, we'll check it out and if another party on the Never has a pool of vomit, vodka and drunken women been so appealing. we like it we'll put it down first. e-mail: [email protected] Lewis Dave President phone: 020 7594 8072 ask for James 11 October 1999 Felix Film 23 screen

American Pie Competition Election

So by now all you freshers should have OK so this another one of those films set in an American high school, but it is not about one or. all of the found your feet and your way around following: kids "coming of age", perverted humour (see American Pie), a remake of Dangerous Liaisons London. Have you managed to find the (see Cruel Intentions), cool and detached reflection (see Rushmore), or a "Gosh, I wish I was a different Odeon on High Street Kensington yet? person when I was in high school!" (see Never been kissed), etc. As you probably know, there has been a You can get there by catching the No 9, big rush of teen films recently. Although not all of them can be dismissed. Rushmore was a fine film, and 10, or 49 bus to the far end of the street likewise Cruel Intentions. or walk. It's not that far - HONEST! Every week (fingers crossed) the kind 'Election' is set in a small town somewhere in the United States of America. We follow the developments people at the Kensington Odeon will be through a small number of characters as they each tell us bits of the story. To tell you that the film is about teaming up with Film Felix to give away a presidential election at a school does not do the film justice. It's all in the detail, and the detail is fan d few pairs of tickets to some lucky tastic: humorous, dark, and observant. readers. All you have to do every week is answer a sometimes not so simple The central character is teacher Mr McAllister (Matthew Broderick) who is the most popular and driven question. teacher in his school. He loves his job and has been married to his wife for. nine years. The second main character is student Tracy Flick (Reese Witherspoon). Flick is the only child of her devoted mother and

The winners of the last competition were "works very hard" at anything she does but that does not stop at her studies. Her mother is the type of per son who writes to successful women to find out about the reasons for their success and if they have any

A Bettison advice for her daughter. Having served on every major school committee, Tracy prepared to stand unchal C Watine lenged for president. The other two characters are Paul and Tammy Metzler, a brother and sister who are A Rodrigues in the same year as Tracy at the school. M Anuar L Lang Mr McAllister, wary of encouraging the over-achieving Tracy, talks a not-too-smart Paul into the election. The result is satire with a relaxed touch. The film leaves no one untouched in terms of its satire: the care

If you don't have your tickets yet either less, the selfish, and even the good. Ultimately it is a very believable film and this has to do with the great call into Felix or email us. performances of the actors. Matthew Broderick played a brilliant Mr McAllister. Reese Witherspoon's Tracy Flick and the others were also excellent. To conclude: good film, worth watching.

This week you all have the opportunity to win a pair of tickets to see the new Ahmed gross-out US teen comedy American Pie. The not so simple question is:

Who connects American Pie with Pretty Woman?

If you read the review last week and haven't got around to seeing it yet then what are you waiting for? Either mail your answers to [email protected] or call by the Felix office brandishing a piece of paper with the correct answer on it.

Good luck to one and all. rr".Mo [Tj STANDING ROOM ONLY - SUNDERLAND V VILLA 7PM DAVINCI'S ^ TUESDAY ooSTA QUIZ NIGHT ™~ WIN £50 CASH 0^ A CRATE OF LAGER. 8PM Wnc*8 : WEDNESDAY jj^^Bf Classic party tunes in dBs, Cocktail Bar & Chill out Room 9-1

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PETITION THE DECKS AT 8PM UTOPM 1BIZA STYLE CLUB CLASSICS f Bedrock promotion in the chill outroom PLUS LIVE DRUM N BASS FROM PLUTONIC PLUS COCKTAIL BAR & CHILL OUT ROOM. 9-2. + \ £1 (ICU card holders)/£1.50 (others)/Free tojfl&ud&l bfl /CIJ IT'S YOUR UNION - BE PART OF IT 18 October 1999-Felix books

Introduction Veronika Decides To Die

Paulo Coelho Harper Collins, £9.99

The Books Section of Felix is Veronika Decides To Die is the latest offering from Brazilian author Paulo Coelho and he continues to do what he does a dynamic environment best, examining the nature of life and the human condition. where we are looking for the right people who are The story opens with a young Slovenian woman who is busy consuming sleeping pills to end her life. She is not moti ready to succeed. If you vated by sadness or extreme depression, but rather because she has come to the realisation that her life is a routine have the depth of character which although enjoyable now, will in time become unbearable as a result of repetition and the ravages of old age. required for writing book She is afflicted by a sentiment worse than sadness - utter powerlessness. reviews in a mission critical setting, then come to the Following her attempt on her own life, Veronika awakens wondering if she has arrived in Heaven until she realises portacabins or email 'Heaven would never use a fluorescent tube to light a room, and that pain - which started a fraction of a second later [email protected]. Individuals - was typical of the Earth. Ah, that Earth pain - unique, unmistakable.' She has arrived not in the after life, but rather with good financial instincts is strapped to a hospital bed in a lunatic asylum. Drawing heavily from his own life, having spent some time in an asy who see that free books are lum during his childhood, Paulo Coelho explores some of the same themes that appear in his other works; faith, des desirable will progress rap tiny, mysticism and personal awakening. idly. Veronika learns to find hope and meaning in her life where previously there was none. She learns a new language of

The Books Section, where emotions and gains insights into her past and hope for her future. Where Coelho's most renowned work, the Alchemist, success and global domina dealt with realising your destiny and following your dreams, Veronika is about finding the intrinsic joy in life. A power tion begin with you. ful book, which will please long standing Coelho fans and make devotees of new readers. Russell Russell

/CU i; CINEMA 18th and 19th October at 8:30pm PRESENTS Combined with Special deal... Buy tickets for both films in a night and only pay £5!! 1 8th Ortnher - fi-Onnm JBRJL- ™ * P Tickets: £3 18th October - 6:00pm 19th October - 6:00pm

ICII WM SI IN II OIK III IIIIB IBIS. MSI TICKETS II ii IK OPEN 10 IB Bill II Sill. 1 SMI SI 111. II IB 1 BIIBBU 111 IIII'S IB. IM1GIMI WIS I III II Bill B1SSI1II If Ml IIISI EVERY I1B Mill BI 111 111 RCCliRRCY 111! f BBN1IIMIBIB SI THIS BBE1I11, Kl I B1SI01H HEIVEII Mil MllllliU 1BBBIS11 I P111BR1I. IBB IISI1PTH11111BHBII 111 III PBSI Mil III III SBBHII1B1I1B1, (ISI1 IB IBSIIi Oil II IIS B till. pHUTURf & at uture /

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TIME : 9pm to 3am

MUSIC CLUB

TICKETS : f £11 [£13 at the door]

PLACE : 18, West Central Street

BACK PARTY ! 2 DANCE FLOORS, 2 THE DEFINITIVE "™"^p\un.sl0 FQR THE PRICE OF 1 !

FOR TICKETS. clwiAii- Qdvivi.i 18 October 1999-Felix 27 method A

Jane and Louise Wilsdon Time's running out Emma Serpentine Gallery to see Tricycle Theatre FREE The Cholmondeleys & Featherstone- £9.50 Thurs. and Fri. The Serpentine gallery is a real gem. It is free and just two minutes haughs walk from college. Jane and Louise Wilson are the makers of three

£8.50 Mon - Wed Mats films, which have emerged as a trilogy concentrating on buildings of Inspired by the cabaret scene. This dance political power. As well as the films there are related photographs work incorporates slap stick and a mag ical feel. Sounds original stuff from the Vibrant and Sexy - in a low and sculpture. But the films are by far the most striking. The three sep creator Lea Anderson. cut, tight buldging way. Yet, arate films, Parliament (A Third House),. Stasi City and Gamma, all Showing at the Riverside studio. and this was the most portray these buildings with an unspecific sense of dread; threat impressive bit, the spirit of that's impossible to put your finger on. I was intrigued at the amount £9 Cone. 21 - 23 Oct. at 8.00pm Jane Austen remained. The of meaning and emotion that it is possible to relay through films of trainer wearing, sexy, bub empty places with no dialogue. All the five minute films are in sepa

bly, rap music cast kept rate rooms . Each room consists of four screens, one on each wall. Art for us all Austen's characters true to We are not talking piddly little TV screens, but floor to ceiling; creat the book. Austen is all about ing the illusion you are there. To watch the film you need to be in the A one off, begins with a viewing of art the mating game, admitted middle of the room and keep turning your head. This was very effec from the able and disabled bodied com ly it all happens over tea tive as the continuous swapping of attention compounds the overrid munity. Finishing with the "Temujin and cakes, but pairing off is ing themes of unseen presence, unease, secrecy and evil power lurk Dance Company" (whom I would rec ommend from their appearance on the what it's all about baby. ing in the shadows. Ok, not "Blair Witch Project" but creepy stuff Generation Game!) none the less. Also showing at the Riverside studio. The play starts with the nieces of Jane Austen her Stasi City was the most disturbing. Now just an empty shell of an insti 19 Oct £8.00 self discovering the book tution which was, for so long, a tool of state oppression. Lifts travel "Emma". With a modern out up and down as a woman (whose face is never seen) floats helpless ly in a deserted room. The clanking of machines in the distance is look they begin to act out Up Close - Dance Shorts the story. Austen can not really very weird. Maybe there is just something unhealthy about such resist joining in the play and an empty building. This triple bill takes place around the so takes the role of Mr. Foyer of the Theatre. The end of a col Knightly - the hero. Interjec Gamma was filmed at Greenham Common where the US military lection of works commissioned by Up tions from the nieces voice housed nuclear cruise missiles. Every so often the camera lingers on Close and the National Theatre. The the frustrations of the mod a feature sign such as "Contamination room", lights flashing emer speciality of Up Close is "...presenting ern audience - desperate gency or a dark anonymous figure hovering above a big "Red" but unusual work in unexpected contexts." Showing at the National Theatre. for something big to hap ton. The same helplessness is generated. pen; "If I was Emma I woyld 23 Oct FREE punch Jane Fairfax on the Parliament (A Third House) was, of course, the building that I recog

nose go out and get nized best, but even this looked alien. A peculiar anonymous power myself a man!" The odd resonates behind the hard seats of commons and the plush seats of gimmick seemed a little the Lords far older and greater than any MP or Lord. unnecessary but this mat The only unpleasentness surrounding each film was because what If you would like to join the arts team and tered not as the spirit of the had happened in each building. As if the driving purpose of life with help review the arts in London, come to novel, the mating game in a building transfers this to the building itself. We are all at the the Felix office at 1.00pm this friday. remained the same; Jane mercy of the people in places of power; but they, perhaps, were at There's loads to do Austen with spunk. the mercy of the buildings themselves.

Ben Ben ID ID Games Felix 11 October 1999

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News Quake III Test (PC) Marvel Super heroes vs. Streetfighter (PSX)

No doubt a new Dreamcast A few years ago ID Software released Doom and changed the face of Several years back a new revelation hit will have already taken the computer gaming forever. Quake and Quake II followed, each offer the gaming waves that caused all others top spot under the TV for ing the player better graphics and an improved multiplayer experience. in its genre to wipeout. That game was some Felix readers. It's been The latest game to emerge from the ID Software stable will be Quake Streetfighter. Grdphics and character out almost a week and /// Arena, a multiplayer fest played over a LAN or the Internet. Mean animation were both critically acclaimed should be having detrimen while ID have released Quake III Test so that they can test the net but the true success of the game was due tal effects on your degrees working and graphics technology designed for Arena as well as tanta .to the numerous fighting moves and by now. Any DC game lise gamers worldwide before the final product is released. above all the speed of play. The game reviews are welcome, just spawned numerous sequels and Marvel email 'em to [email protected] ID have always been at the forefront of computer game graphics and Super Heroes vs. Street Fighter is the lat Quake III Test introduces a number of new effects such as fog and est of them all. As the title suggests play ers can choose to be characters from August 2000 has been pen semi-transparent objects. The weapon trails are much more realistic both the Marvel Comics (such as the cilled in as the month that than in Quake II with smoke following rockets and the plasma gun infamous Spiderman and the imperious Nintendo will finally unveil blistering the walls. The quad damage power up causes blue electric Captain America) and the old Street its new console, presently ity to ripple across the player's skin. The game has many neat touch fighter favourites such as Ryu, Dhalism known as the 'Dolphin', to es, for example the name of the player you are firing at now appears and Chun-Li. The gameplay is essential the public. Whether the above their head and the colour of the rail gun trails can be ly the same as the original streetfighter press manages to expose customised. with combat played out in 2D arenas the machine before then between two players or one player and a remains to be seen. The These improved graphics do come at a price. Quake ill Test has the computer opponent. Japanese launch of the Dol highest system requirements of any game I have seen. It requires a 3D phin is slated only 2 months accelerator card and a minimum of a Pll 233 with 64mb of ram. later and industry bigwigs However unless you have a 400mhz computer with 128mb of ram and So how does this old concept work in already doubt that this date a top flight graphics card you are unlikely to see the game at its best. 1 999? Not so well, it seems. The single will be met. For Nintendo's If there was ever a reason for upgrading... player game tires quickly but there's a sakes it better, what with the laugh to be had in trying to obliterate a

heightening competition Quake III Test comes with three maps. Two of these are traditional pal in versus mode. With such a vast from Sony, Sega and possi dungeon/castle fare and one is based in space. This adds an extra library of moves available combined with bly Microsoft emerging in element of skill as mistimed jumps mean a quick decent into the void. fast-action gameplay its likely you'll the new year. The maps are very good, as you would expect from ID, with a good resort to the random frantic thumping of mix of open spaces for melee, sniping positions and hiding places. All the joypad in the hope of executing a

Donkey Kong 64 - Ninten of the higher powered weapons and the special power ups require special move. Tag-team play is a major do's big Xmas hope for the some skill to reach. To a broad extent lifts on maps have been new feature that allows the player to N64 - is set to have a variety replaced with jump pads which makes for fast and frantic gaming. switch between two characters during a of ancient but ace games Quake II players will not be disappointed. single bout, although this would be bet included on the cartridge. ter implemented if four people could By solving various puzzles in Quake III Test is excellent and with the improvements which ID are play simultaneously. Streetfighter fans will probably find enough from this the main game players will planning, Quake III Arena is sure to be a classic. unlock the sub-games. game not to be disappointed, but for the These include Rare's original rest of you the 3D world of Tekken 3 will Donkey Kong and the Spec offer much more of a gaming experi trum classic Jet Pac. ence. Viv Graeme Viv 11 October 1999 Felix Games 29 react®

Jagged Alliance (PC) Tiberian Sun (PC)

So how did you lot spend the summer? Money-earning, CV-loving work Tiberian Sun is the kind of game that grabs your attention and doesn't let experience, character building travel or head-start study? How about go for a long, long time. Drawing on their eleven years of experience writ leading a team of bad-ass mercenaries against the dictatorship of a small ing real time strategy games, Westwood have produced the most detailed 3rd world country? Yeah, that's what I got up to. But only virtually of and tactical RTS to date. course. No CV brownie points there then... What makes the game quite so addictive is its complexity. Every strategy

Jagged Alliance 2 is actually the third instalment in a series of games for victory has a counter strategy, every unit has a use and every attack has where the gameplay balance of strategic warfare and resource manage to be intricately planned if it is to succeed. During some of. my massive ment is so fine even Newton would be impressed. Queen Diadrianna four-hour long multiplayer matches I have found myself coordinating holds an icy grip on Arulco, with every last scrap of money that is clawed simultaneous subterranean, ground and aerial attacks, while at the same out of the country's ore mines feeding her fetishes. Your job? Take her time dodging missiles fired at my base and trying to coordinate artillery out and reinstate the rightful ruler, but to get to her you'll have to wipeout support with a human player ally. TS does not add any really new ideas to the army first, all with only a small band of carefully selected meres. Care the genre - given the development time I would have expected something fully, I say, because in this game personality conflicts are widespread a bit more novel - but all the old Command and Conquer ideas have amongst the varied staff you can choose from. You'll also need to make been taken out of the cupboard, dusted and polished until they shine like sure that your selection of hired killers is broad enough to include skilled new. mechanics, explosive experts, medics and natural 'eaders as well as the obligatory marksmen. The graphics engine is adequate, although some 3d-hardware accelera tion would have been nice. The maps are also now properly 3D and com

While squad selection (and more) is conducted via a virtual laptop, mer pletely deformable. The controls have been improved by the addition of cenary tasks are assigned using a map screen and upon entering territo waypoint system, and the routing for units has been completely rewritten, ry occupied by the enemy play switches to an isometric view for battle. so that units can find their way across the map without constant babysit Each of your well-animated mercenaries can be made to run, crawl, ting from the player. However, I can't help thinking that the two mouse crouch and jump all with an easy to use interface. Battles are executed button control system used in games like Starcraft and Total Annihilation with a combination of real-time movement and, upon sighting a foe, turn- (in which you left click to select units and right click to issue orders) is far based combat. This system works very well for strategic warfare without superior to the left-click only system used by all the Command and Con the annoying hitch of older turn-based games where one spent ages mov quer games. The most important part of the game, however, is the units. ing each team member bit-by-bit across the sector looking for the last bad In a lot of other RTS games the best strategy for victory was always to build guys to kill. Combat is fairly engrossing with countless guns available (all as many heavy tanks as possible and charge into the enemy's base with with realistic physics), plus the ability to lob grenades, throw knives, use all guns blazing. But in Tiberian Sun, this just isn't possible. Assaults on bazookas, and modify your inventory with items found along the way. the enemy base require planning, timing and a well-mixed set of units to Blowing someone's head off with a shotgun or drilling them in the chest work. with MAC-10 burst fire is most satisfying, but you may find it annoying when a wounded adversary pulls off blindingly accurate shots while your The single player campaigns are varied and at times challenging, but this ace sniper misses a sitter... game is mainly aimed at the multiplayer market. If you've got a local net work or a decent Internet connection then be prepared to have some real

Overall, unimpressive graphics, weird (but amusing) dialect and lack of fun. If not, then the computer controlled opponents are certainly harder environment interactivity prevent this game from attaining dizzy-heights to beat than in past C&C incarnations, but are still too unresponsive and status, but don't let that deter you because all things considered this is a unintelligent to pose much of a challenge after a few games. Either way, well-put together campaign that is certainly worth fighting. I would still advise any real time strategy player to buy this. Viv Ben Seven Days Felix 18 October 1999 18 October 1999 Felix Seven Days 31

FELIX V N DAY Tasting Notes Monday Tuesday IWednesdayl Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Next Week Week Three : The Oven

The Basic Skill dried stuff or a small handful Standing Room STA Quiz Night xs Cocktail Night DJ2000 Baking chopped fresh. Only Win £50 cash or a Classic party tunes Relax and cool down The search to find the Sunderland v Villa crate of laaer. for the post-match with the cheapest next dance revolution Wash couple of the flat field live on the big party, plus cocktail cocktails in town. ary is on. First act on In the last two weeks, we've covered mushrooms, the stuff the mixture screen. Can either of bar and chill out 5-1 1 pm, da Vinci's the decks at 8pm, dBs the basic skills needed to cook on round the edge. Cook in the oven these two teams room. Utopia the hobs. Now, we move to the for about 15 minutes at 200°, Gas oven. I'm not going to talk about come alive this sea 9-1 am, dBs It's Friday nights, it's Mark 6. When they are done, stuff baking cakes etc. Generally, this son, or will it be mid- Free b4 1 1, 50p after cheesy, it's pre each into a roll, and eat quickly! requires you to follow recipes very table mediocrity all dictable, but it's damn closely, which simply isn't my style. round? good fun. Advanced Tip As always, I am going to give some Kick-off 8pm. 9-2am, dBs. Savoury Roulade simple guidelines for making beau

tiful, delicious food, out of pretty Making a basic savoury roulade is much whatever you have to hand. surprisingly easy. Lots of pans are required, but none of the steps are Horn Soc Fencing Club Fencing Club Individual ovens vary hugely, to too fiddley. The basic principle is to 5 - 6:30pm Union Gym i v.-.-*;:,.->, Want to see your clubs details listed here? All the extent that times and tempera tures given in recipes are often a make a thin sheet of sponge, which (2nd floor) (2nd floor) you have to do is email the date, venue and long way off the mark for your oven. is rolled, like a swiss roll, but with a Conine', Simon Kahn 12pm - 2pm 12pm - 2pm However, with a little experience it is sauce-like filling. The sponge is sim {[email protected]) All beginners and for more information time of your meetings or events to very easy to work out the best ways. ply a thick white sauce, with added Wine Tasting experienced wel- As a quick and very rough egg. The quantities here are 6pm, dB's comed lb try Wine and spirt tast [email protected]. Don't forget to indicate guide, 200° C, or Gas Mark 6 is enough for two people. ing equally suited to standard for most cooking. Any Start by making a simple roux in the the novice or an whether it's a weekly event or a one-off. thing higher is very hot, and will a large sauce pan. About 25g but expert. burn most food quickly. Below 1 60° ter and a couple of level table or Gas Mark 3 is cool, and only spoons of flour should do it. Slowly really used for slow cooking. mix in around 200ml of milk, leav James (Secret Gig) Ovens are used in two ways. ing a thick sauce. Season, this white Deacon Blue Skunk Anasie Lamb Auteurs The Stranglers "'London Astoria 2 When food is cooked uncovered, it sauce with salt, pepper, and possi ©Royal Albert Hal; ©Brixton Academy ©Hammersmith ©Shepherds Bush £17.501 Status Quo is exposed to a dry heat, which is bly mustard powder and parmesan. Another chance to Palais; £10.50 Joe Strummer Empire; £18.50 particularly good at browning and Leave the sauce to cool for a few Glaswegian pop hear Skin belt out her The Manchester pair ©Astoria; £14 ©Wembley Arena; Music caramelising food. Pretty much any minutes, then mix in the yoke of an rockers perform their special brand of wail- ing do their experi Therapy £25 thing cooked uncovered in an oven egg. Whisk the egg white, then fold blend of rock ing soul mental thing ©Electric Ballroom looks more appetising than when it it into the sauce.

went in. Covered food often comes Turn the mixture out onto a The Blair Witch Final Cut Tarzan out looking anaemic. The aim is baking tray, covered in well greased Deep Blue Sea Runaway Bride American Pie Election Gregory's 2 Girls often to soften, particularly tough Loss than original killer Gere and Roberts re- Lowest common deno Decidedly funny high Project Disney's latest offering baking sheet (about 30cm x 20cm). cuts of meat, or to merge flavours. Stick it in the oven at 200° or Gas team disappointingly. minator comedy school comedy Gordon Sinclair comedy The much heralded comes accompanied micro-budget saviour ABC Tottenham Ct Rd by massive critical Much covered oven cooking can be Mark 6 for about 10 minutes. Virgin Trocodero ABC Putney Odec [ton Virgin Trocodero Virgin Haymarket of the horror genre pre 4 9 40 done on the stove top, but keeping While the sponge is cooking, Film 4 00. 6.20. 8.50 5.15, 8.30 4.05, 6.25, 8.45 3.10, 5.40, 8.20 3.55. 6.25. 9.00 00 acclaim - apparently heat constant is easier in the oven. views tonight. Check Virgin Trocodero it's one of the best ani make some kind of filling. I normal Ua Whiteleys Virgin Fulham Road Odeon Camden Warner West End with cinema for time. ly go with broccoli and gruyere. 4.50, 7.35, 9.45 4.10, 6.40, 9.40 3.40, 6.10, 8.40 1 1.00 (Fri/Sat only) mated films ever... Meal Suggestion Start by make a simple cheese Garlic Mushrooms sauce (use the same procedure as The Stand-Up Bremner, Bird before, but with half the flour). Cut People Like Us Shockers Galatasaray v Let Them Eat Cake Spaced and Fortune a small head of broccoli into very BBC2,10pm C-i; VOiMV Chelsea BBC1, 9.30pm C4, 9.30pm A fantastic, simple idea from Nigel- small florets, discarding the stalk. The great spoof docu Mode to "mess with ITV, 7:30pm French and Sounders The comedy series C4, 9pm la Lawson. This is enough for one. mentary focusses on The latest acts show Watch the satirist's Make up some garlic butter, by mix Steam for around 5 minuets. When your mind" this is a Coverage of the UEFA contoe ' their jaunt; bordering on the sur TV the sauce is finished, melt in around the plight of a fledg new series of hoiror Champions League through the eigh- real, the perfect addi case their talents or rip the piss out of ing a large, crushed clove of garlic 50g of grated gruyere, then mix in ling photographer. continues. teer|!|r||htury. tion to your pint. Tony's People with around 50g of butter. To pre pare a clove of garlic, chop off the the broccoli. stalk end, peel off the dry skin, and The sponge will probably need Up Close - Dance Together Alone Richard Wilson dons chop into very small bits. Crush to be separated from the baking The Beggar's Lucio Fontana between a hard surface and the Opera The famous and A innovative and ori- Shorts In a neat tittle theatrpj his directors hat in, sheet with a palette knife. Lay it edge of the knife, or with a garlic Pay what you can at often controversial gional Italian artist. A triolgy of newly "Four Nights in down scraped side up, and spread commisioned dance den; a trilogy of short Knaresborough" at press. You may need to melt the the sauce across all but 5cm at one ping and Fueling the Bridewell Theatre. award for modem Newly opened. young people around butter for 10 seconds in the Arts Mix of professional . i Howard Gallery works. the Tricycle Theatre. short end. Finally, simply roll the microwave. If you have it, add some New Ambassadors and homeless actors. £6 National Theatre roulade from the other short end, FREE Now Booking parsley, either a teaspoon of the cut into slices, and serve. CASINO - MINATURE CINEMA - DISCO - GAMES - II; MORE

reengineering the way you think

9PM FRIDAY 22ND OCTOBER 1 999, JCR, £5 18 October 1999 Felix Clubs & Societies 33 Community Action Group Sri Lankan Society

Welcome to London! No doubt you'll group activity, such as bingo. Last Known through the ages as peoples attitudes and beliefs. They be busy clubbing, visiting all the pop year, one student ran weekly origami Tabrobane, Ceilao, Ceylon and even observe what others (the tour opera ular bars and pubs, taking in the cul classes for residents. It is just a time Serendib, Sri Lanka is has gathered a tors) want them to see. They hear ture provided by numerous theatres for the resident to have a break from plethora of names each revealing its only what a tourist video would tell and galleries...but there is another the monotony of the nursing home. richness and diversity. them, but they do not fully under side to London that you might never The third project is called Tools At Imperial College, about 30% stand how the different cultures cause see. Why not try helping out the com for Self Reliance. This involves taking of students are from overseas from a people to think in different ways. munity? If might give you a different second hand tools, such as saws and variety of countries each with their ICUSLS want to provide a plat perspective on life! hammers, and refurbishing them for own distinct cultures. While studying form for encouraging closer social Our oldest project is the Soup use in developing countries. But don't in this environment, we all have the integration among Sri Lankans with Run for the homeless. Every Tuesday worry - you don't need to know any opportunity to mix with people from each other and other students at col and Thursday, we meet at 8.00 p.m. thing about tool mending! Once these cultures and learn about them. lege. So whatever your interest in Sri in the basement kitchen of Weeks refurbished, these tool kits are sent Imperial College Union has many Lanka, whether it be family origin, Hall in Princes Gardens, where we out to community groups and societies that have aims to promote whether you have Sri Lankan friends prepare food and hot drinks. We schools in Africa and a central part of knowledge of these cultures to oth you would like to understand more then go by minibus into central Lon the project is building up awareness ers: ICU Sri Lankan society (ICUSLS) completely or even if you just want to don, armed with our bags of food, of the technological problems associ is one of these societies. visit Sri Lanka for a holiday/work urns and friendly conversation. There ated with development. When travelling to another coun experience/medical elective, ICUSLS are many interesting and dynamic We are always interested in start try, it is very easy to just follow a is here to help you. people to meet on the street so come ing new projects, so let us know if you tourist package holiday to see anoth The society is having its first gen along and give Soup Run a go. have any ideas. Come along to any er part of the world. It's quite possible eral meeting this Wednesday in Our second project involves vis (or all!) of our projects. Membership to simply live in a hotel and travel on Room 403a, Fourth Floor, Depart iting Parkcare elderly nursing home, is free and you don't have to make a organised tours to obtain a glimpse ment of Electrical Engineering at ideally located off Queen's Gate. regular commitment. Helping the of the nation. This is what many do 2pm. All are welcome and members Visits usually consist of casual chats community through volunteering will each year and unfortunately they do are usually privy to a free cinema trip with a resident or joining in with a definitely be a rewarding experience! not get a true feel for the culture; or game of bowling.

If you want to work on big projects, they don't get any International Tamil Society bigger than this.

If you are interested in Tamil Cul Organise events, in aid of char were donated to the Tamil Reha ture, this society provides a forum ity, to promote Tamil Culture and bilitation Organisation, and used Fire. Air. Earth. Water. Bechtel has mastered them all. In our 100 year in which you can participate to conduct activities that educate for the education of displaced history, we've been responsible for increase your knowledge of us and entertain members of all Tamil children in North & East Sri some of the biggest engineering and have a good time. We are communities by fully displaying Lanka. and construction projects the world simply a dynamic group of stu the depths and breadths of Tamil In February this year, our has ever seen. They include 75 air dents who are united to share our Culture. Annual Dinner and Dance, "Ivory ports and airport systems, 80 ports talents to further this society. Our source of income is Dreams" took piace. The night and harbours, 30 tunnels, 25 Come and meet us at our 'Fire mainly based on the Imperial Col was atmospheric with the exotic bridges, 895 power projects and the On The Thames' boat party, read lege Union funds and the annual food, youths strutting their funky quelling of the Kuwait oil field infer on for details. subscription of our members. The stuff and catered for over 200 no, which we achieved in less than half the predicted time. Founded in May 1993 the society is part of the Social Clubs people. International Tamil Society has Committee and managed by This past year seen us com If you think you have what it takes to steadily grown over the years with enthusiastic committee of dedicat peting for the title of best and work on some of the most challeng the help of past and present mem ed members. most active society at Imperial. ing projects in the world, send your bers. This has increased the scope This year we hope to build on our In addition to major high-pro CV or SAF with a letter persuading of our efforts in terms of fundrais- file events such as Annual Cultur ongoing success, and we are us to interview you to Graduate ing and organising various social al Show and Annual Dinner & looking for dedicated people who Recruitment, Bechtel, 245 Ham events. Dance, we organise Bowling, Cin can use their talents to take us mersmith Road, London W6 8DP. The aims of the society are to: emas, Dinner outings, Go-Karting into the next Millennium Represent all students of Imper and Ice-Skating as well as other Regular meetings are held on To find out more, come alongto ou r ial College who have an interest sports activies. Wednesdays at 1 pm in Room 403 presentation at Imperial on Monday 25th October. Starts 6.30pm in Civil in Tamil culture, tradition and wel Last year we produced the (4th Floor) Electrical Engineering Engineering classroom 301. Please fare. cumbersomely named sell-out Building, membership is £3.50. confirm your attendance by email- Provide a social platform for show "Kalluri Kaligall" which was Don't forget that the "Fire On The ing Lucy Roper at colleglo@bech- Tamils of all nationalities, and enjoyed by 500 people. With a Thames" boat party is only a few tel.com [email protected] or other interested parties; feast of funky dance routines and weeks away, on bonfire night Fri phoning 0181 846 5426. Experience and appreciate meticulously produced plays, this day 5th November. It costs £12 Tamil culture in a way that will was the show that had everybody but for a special price of only £1 0 nurture friendship across the cam buzzing. you pay for your boat party ticket pus. The proceeds from this event and join the society.

www.bechtel.com Time: 14.00 Date: 27/10/99 Venue: Dept. of Pet. Eng. - Room 1.31

www.shell.com 18 October 1999 « Felix Sport Shock - IC Fencers lose Ladies score six times

new year, a new season, and - particularly considering the loss of ICU Ladies adding another 2 goals, giving us Adue to graduation - a mostly his trusted blade in the first fight and Royal Free & UCH Ladies. a final score of 6-1. RUMS fell new team... The all-conquering IC the fact that he had to wear a lame apart and started to bitch at each team was prepared to start its first that made him look like a boy wear Well what can I say? First game other. Vasso and G&T didn't have match against the, until now, fairly ing his dad's suit. One victory each of the season and we breezed much to do in the later stages of mediocre UCL team. However for Paul Simon and Jaws meant that through with style. Playing for the the game, despite defending bril rumours were abound about the we won the foil 5-4, with Meat first time together, the unstruc liantly for much of the first half strength of their team this year being substituted in for the last fight. tured beginning was understand under varied pressure from which proved to be mostly true as Epee was our final weapon and able but then our opening goal RUMS. G&T Mel still somehow their team had a few good new we needed to win this 7 - 2 to take raised our confidence. This feel managed to do in her ankle when arrivals. First up was the sabre with the match. Our hopes rested with ing was brief as RUMS scored an she attempted to kick a stray ball. John "Keep your meat away from our newfound epeeist Ricardo "the easy goal past veteran 'keeper Aisha completed a hat trick on me," Dave " Jaws" and Mo "Cap Italian Stallion" who fought well and Flo. Realising that we needed a her debut, and Marie got her first tain Animal" leading out the IC showed his pedigree by taking two win to have a chance of qualify goal in 2 years. Everyone played team to a 2-7 defeat in the sabre... fights arid narrowly losing one ing for the next round, we started excellently, and with more only one fight each for Meat and against a very experienced fencer. to really get into the game. We turnouts like this, we're on our Animal (the result of a night out The other two epeeists were Dave smashed 3 past their (male?) way up in the league and cup! before at a Faithless concert!). keeper within 15 minutes, cour D. and Jaws (with Animal subbing If you're interested in playing tesy of Sarah, Jasmine and Aisha Fairly disappointing, but with himself in a desperate attempt to for the Ladies Football team, send who were aided by flying winger the foil up next there was a hope of make an impact - it failed), who a mail to [email protected]. Louise. a comeback - with Dave "Don't tell only managed to pick up one fight Results, fixtures and team infor my supervisor I was pissed and lying between them. The final score: IC After her stunning midfield mation is on www.su.ic.ac.uk/ in bed all morning" Davidge, Chris 10- 17 UCL performance in the first half, ladiesfootball. Training is on "Paul Simon..." and the great Jaws This was a disappointing first Claire unselfishly gave up her Monday - meet outside the - who was now in desperate need of match, as we simply lack the fenc position to give Becky a go at the Union 5:45pm sharp. There's no a good physio. Dave D. produced ing experience that we used to medics. Our pace quickened and stopping us this season - we're in the goods and fencing superbly, have. we dominated the second half a league of our own. The Felix Crossword, by Is Jam Well

Across Down

1. Avid sows run around to 1. Underwater in-crowd have deny responsibility (8) sunken features (7) 4. Bra came undone; grisly (7) 2. Meat product to assuage 8. Kit out with a fit of pique (5) god (7-3) 10. Micro altar destroyed: 3. Ex-prostitute didn't run makes you cry (10) through London (6, 3, 7) 1 1. Looks presentable. That is, 4. Italian shopkeeper read he's a sweetie (7) Shakespere (8,2, 6) 12. Bird infection (6) 5. Come, Kay. What? I 13. I untied Stanton. He thought you said exotic fruit (7) exploded into "global power" 6. in the mambo, Tchaikowsky (3, 6, 7) saw an error (5) 1 7. In how many ways can 7. Terrorist who misses the one graduate from democra afternoon mea! becomes care cy? (7, 2, 7) less (8) 20. Ours do bad smells (6) 9. Strong pot confused ten (6) 21. See scene get end cut and 14. Not in...at the disoc, then edited to core of its being showing up the other boppers (7) (3-7) 22. There was gluteal gelatine 15. With a bit of work, the at the birth of Venus (10) bold area looks lovely (8) 23. Welsh helicopter in Russia 16. Sounds like the ocean really begins to spin (5) hurts as it goes up and down 24. Bent rap sheet contains (3-3) how he was caught (7) 18. Porn goes to Erica in mix-up 25. Almost dance at seeing 1 9. Tennis player who seeks the pudding (8) comedy (7) 20. October alien makes eight

(5) 36 Sport Felix 18 October 1999

Disco Squad dish out Royal(Holloway)thrashing

Hockey ic in Jesus himself, Jamie Scurlock. Also dived and shimmied Holloway held Royal Holloway . the wealth of fresh hockey talent on for 5 minutes more before the Sports reports. means that this Disco Squad is likely heavens opened and they were simply he almighty disco squad, that saw to be the strangest in history. washed away. Wednesday evening. Toff ICSM ll's to take the ULU A weakened Holloway side crept onto Of the 15 goals, some were good, Reserve cup, and then went on to win the sacred astro at Harlington for most were scrappy. Final tally was Anytime. the league and promotion, are back what they must have known would be Fabio (Jervis) 6, Jesus (Scurlock) 4, with a vengeance. a thrashing. Not to disappoint, the Kiko 2, The Sundance Kid, Mammas And now some entertaining This season's squad will dearly miss Disco lads obligingly gave them one. and Bob Pyle 1. white space: the hairy man mountain of Indian The score was opened with a beauti The team that makes the whole of Carpet Catalogue (aka Jim Taylor) fully worked short corner, slotted away London shake with fear is back. Disco and the rod that is Rezoola. in businesslike fashion by Fabio. Indi baby and role on Saturday. Nice. But stepping in to fill the breech is an Carpet Catalogue would have Mixed fortunes for football

Men's Football

King's I 2 back, this time within two minutes. Baskett comes on up front for his IC Pee, Chin's and Nick came on in IC I 2 All in all, a disappointing start, debut. Two minutes later he's back the second half but we.conceded but at least we never let them have on the touch line for a horrible off two goals in ten minutes. We ral fter the legendary season last a sniff in the second half and IC the ball incident. With ten it was lied briefly afterwards with Pee mak Ayear, it was all a bit disappoint could have won it when Tony was always an uphill battle and in the ing some good runs but we went ing today with a mediocre perform put through by a move with War 85th minute they got the break down 2 - 0 in the end. ance. ren, Alex and Dave. through with a minute to go Martin The awesome machine was not hit the post - but it was all too late. particularly well-oiled and it had a IC II ... SCOREBOARD few new parts from last year. King's IC IV... .0 Steve, who started on the left LSE IV. ..0 side of midfield, showed he had a irst game of the season, a new HOCKEY few tricks with a mystical run down F beginning. This was a team that fter finishing as the best placed Disco Squc d 15 - 1 R. H'way the wing but we failed to get the the seconds thrashed towards the A4th team in London last year, R. Holloway v IC 1 ball to him for the rest of the game. end of last season on the way to we started this year with a disap St Bart's V IC II The star of the show was clearly winning the league - so much was pointing performance. Things have Foulstone. With no contact lenses expected. to improve or we won't get any FOOTBALL and still drunk from Le Scandale, he A great start was made by where near the legendary status we King's 1 2 - 2 IC 1 dazzled us all with his skills, the pick mighty IC, playing the ball confi achieved. The 1st half wasn't bad, IC II 0 - 1 King's II of the bunch a classy treading on dently all over the park. Alistair and with Bola being an animal in mid IC III V GKT the ball and falling over, gifting the Dave were the backbone and then field and Knut Rod stretching their IC IV 0 - 0 LSE IV King's forward with a run on goal. Nacbo and Darren superb on the back line with great making long IC Ladies 6 - 1 Royal Free The goals came from the mid- flanks. Then they started to find halls. Peynouz had a good game field, the first a seventy yard their stride, a few rash tackles later on the left and the back line was RUGBY (maybe) shot from Dave. King's then a very slight push by Elliot in sound. IC 1 V Brunei equalised within a minute, but IC the box saw then get a penalty - Our front line in the 1 st half ran IC II V Brunei took the lead again with Nick's not result Ricky saves amazingly. their hearts out but to no avail, it St. Bart's V IC III so classic finish, as he pounced like After a stern talk from John at finished 0 - 0 at halftime but we a mynx during a goal mouth scram half time second half started, then came out with the captain's mad ble. Once again King's hit straight greatest contribution of all, Brad rants and raves ringing in our ears.