BETWEEN WORLDS: A PERSONAL JOURNEY OF SELF-REFLECTION WHILE ON THE PATH OF CONOCIMIENTO By EDMUNDO MARTIN AGUILAR A dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY WASHINGTON STATE UNIVERSITY Department of Teaching and Learning JULY 2017 © Copyright by EDMUNDO MARTIN AGUILAR, 2017 All Rights Reserved © Copyright by EDMUNDO MARTIN AGUILAR, 2017 All Rights Reserved To the Faculty of Washington State University: The members of the Committee appointed to examine the dissertation of EDMUNDO MARTIN AGUILAR find it satisfactory and recommend that it be accepted. Paula Groves Price, Ph.D., Chair Pamela Bettis, Ph.D. Brenda Barrio, Ph.D. ii ACKNOWLEDGMENT This dissertation is dedicated to my family: Maria, Jesse, Patricia, Luis, and Cassandra, whom have supported my journey both emotionally and financially. Also, to my four legged creatures, Charlie and Delilah—their persistence in wanting to go on constant walks turned my dark days into possibilities. iii BETWEEN WORLDS: A PERSONAL JOURNEY OF SELF-REFLECTION WHILE ON THE PATH OF CONOCIMIENTO Abstract by Edmundo Martin Aguilar, Ph.D. Washington State University July 2017 Chair: Paula Groves Price The purpose of this research project is to catalyze systemic social change through a documentary film that critically interrogates identity and oppressive experiences through Gloria Anzaldúa’s framework: Path of Conociemiento. In this autoethnographic documentary, I utilize the seven stages of awareness/reflective consciousness within the Path of Conociemiento to ground participants’ experiences into practice. The documentary film serves as a pedagogical instrument to educate, inspire, and inform communities subjugated by systems of oppression created and sustained by white-supremacist capitalist patriarchy ideology; furthermore, also providing readers/viewers, from privileged communities, an opportunity to re-connect with the disenfranchised by bridging our differences. This form of activism will create an opportunity for healing, transformation, and positive social change by building bridges over physical and psychological walls. Within this autohistoria (coined by Anzaldúa: a personal narrative, testimonio, factual accounts, cuento, and poetry that transcends the status quo) the documentary film shares the stories of several people living in the state nepantla. The stories of those living in-between iv cultures, lost and forgotten by the rest of the world, will unselfishly create a humanizing bridge for those living on each side of the normalized us/them binary. As a result, the findings in this research support Gloria Anzaldúa’s framework: Path of Conocimiento and reveal the experiential evidence in the film. The participants’ decolonizing journey brings insight to the major transformations and shifts in perception and belief systems that support and perpetuate systems of oppression. Consequently, through self-reflective dialogue, critique and resistance, this project is designed to dissolve the demarcations that divide us, and in turn create a common culture, while still celebrating our differences. v TABLE OF CONTENTS Page ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ............................................................................................................. iii ABSTRACT ................................................................................................................................... iv CHAPTER CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION ..................................................................................1 Now let us Shift .............................................................................................................3 Systems of Oppression/Intersectionality ........................................................................8 Why I choose Gloria Anzaldúa for this Project .............................................................9 CHAPTER TWO: EAST-NEW BEGINNINGS/WEST-PLACE OF WOMAN ..............12 Research Questions .....................................................................................................19 Theoretical Framework ...............................................................................................21 Methodology ...............................................................................................................35 Role of Researcher ......................................................................................................37 Data Collection Methods ............................................................................................39 Methods.......................................................................................................................40 CHAPTER THREE: NORTH-PLACE OF ELDERS/SOUTH-PLACE OF YOUTH Between Worlds ..........................................................................................................46 The Film ......................................................................................................................46 Film Analysis ..............................................................................................................47 CHAPTER FOUR: CONCLUSION ..................................................................................65 APPENDIX Documentary Script ...........................................................................................................70 vi REFERENCES ..............................................................................................................................84 vii Dedication For those who don’t belong, but are eager to bring people together. viii CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION Almost every element on earth is made from the heart of a star. Living, breathing, and with a pulse, we are particles of stardust. Ultimately, we are descendants from a wondrous, dark, mysterious universe, forced into migration. Fractured from what we once were, only to form again, into a creation so wildly complicated. It is clear, by this understanding, that we are no longer citizens of the universe; we are now citizens of division. We are divided by social demarcations such as, race, gender, nationality, and sexuality. This harmful systemic hierarchy impacts people’s lives in devastating ways creating psychological and physical borders. However, despite having lost our way on this journey, we realize that we are alive and ever so radically interconnected, and in the heart of another star—earth. It is on this planet we recognize our interrelatedness with all that is life. And because of this, it is important that we acknowledge the Four Directions, an Indigenous understanding of the world, because they represent the particular life energies and elements that makes us who we are. According to Lara & Facio (2014), “the East represents ‘New Beginnings’ and the energy of sun or fire. The West represents the ‘Place of Women’ and is associated with water. The North represents the ‘Place of Elders’ and the energy of wind. And the South is the ‘Place of Youth’ and associated with earth” (p. 13). It’s important to note, these four directions structure not only this written dissertation, but are also a main component of the documentary film that accompanies this research project. This paper and film captures the energies and elements from an Indigenous perspective, and illustrates that they are part of this phenomenal planet that represents the female principle of creation, shattering any preconceived notion that women are the downfall of humankind. For example, Eve and the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, or La Malinche-- a Nahua woman who aided Spanish Conquistador, Hernán Cortéz, in defeating the Aztec empire 1 (Anzaldúa, 2003), both women shamed, disgraced, and blamed for the demise of civilization. However, if we unpack this dominant historical hegemonic narrative, we come to the understanding that from both a biblical and western patriarchal point of view, it is our matriarchs whom have given us, once again, the opportunity of a new beginning. Meaning, that the deconstruction of the dominant discourse allows for liberating perspectives, in contrast to these myopic ways of knowing; which in turn, challenge an oppressive system designed to benefit the elite few. The film component of this project is a tool that brings these images of dominance and liberation to the forefront for viewers that have been limited in their perspective and gain conocimiento (an awareness of ways). This epistemology is laced with theory and praxis and allows for a more responsible social justice way of seeing the world. Here, Anzaldúa discusses the interconnectedness and interdependence of people to the earth that is larger than labels that are often used in society to oppress and divide. With awe and wonder you look around, recognizing the preciousness of the earth, the sanctity of every human being on the planet, the ultimate unity and interdependence of all beings—somos todos un país. Love swells in your chest and shoots out of your heart chakra, linking you to everyone/everything. You share a category of identity wider than any social position or racial label. This conocimiento motivates you to work actively to see that no harm comes to people, animals, ocean—to take up spiritual activism and the work of healing (Anzaldua, 2003, p. 558). Gloria Anzaldúa (2003) transformed this hyper-consciousness of interconnectedness by conceptualizing seven stages of conocimiento that opens the senses causing internal shifts and external changes. Therefore, the seven