무료 22 Table of Contents Letter from the Editor 1. Cover Another issue, and I find myself in a very different place from last time. If you were to ever tell me I’d be editing Broke 22 in the office of the Times after 2. This Page hours, I’d say you were crazy. But that’s just where I am, at 11:30pm the night 3. Tim Butcher before this thing should print. And just as I was working on the cover image, Issue 22 my copy of Photoshop decided my 30-day free trial was over and stopped co- 4. LOD December 2015 operating. It is what it is. That’s going to be the unofficial motto of my workplace some- 5. Dead Chunks This zine has been published time in the near future. I’m not going to say too much on that topic, other at random intervals for the than to suggest that this is what I’d intended all along. Also, if you want to try 6. Shining Cocks past ten-odd years. writing an editorial for the newspaper, it’s easy. Basically, if you can read this, congratulations, you’re qualified. Just send me an e-mail and we’ll figure it out. 7. The Brigade Founders Or I’ll peer-pressure you into writing for Broke. 8. The Plastic Kiz Jon Twitch Anyway, this is something like my third Christmas issue in a row, and I’m Paul Mutts getting a little tired of the concept. Maybe next year I’ll aim for a Halloween 9. Things We Say issue instead. Editor Putting this together, I had a ton of bands in mind I wanted to interview, and 9. Mr Headbutt Jon Twitch as time went on a ton more names popped up as well. I decided to delay a few, including Reddot who would be better to interview in the spring around when 10. Fanzui Xiangfa Contributing Writers they’re set to tour Germany. I also initially did a pretty half-assed interview Kyle Decker 12. Octopoulpe noisemyulchi with Acid Party, not taking it all that seriously which annoyed the band mem- Miss Mislone bers. Iain returned the answers to me in Spanish in an interesting display of 13. Max Reynolds Dan Orozco passive-aggressiveness. Ultimately I decided it would be better to wait an is- sue before trying again. Interviewing bands can be unpredictable, as some will 14. Iman’s League Translators answer the most complicated questions with one word, and you’ll ask others 15. The More I See Minji Seo “How are you?” and end up getting a whole manifesto. Iain mentioned he was Park Solmin more interested in talking about music, and fair enough to him, but the craft of 16. World Underground Rin Park making music doesn’t hold my attention and I’d be incapable of writing about noisemyulchi it on a meaningful level. 17. Stephen Epstein Brother Anthony I’ll let you in on a little secret: the craft of music bores me to death. Sort of Christine Kwon like how my eyes glaze over whenever I meet another photographer and they 18. Colouring Book Sophie Bowman ask me what camera I have. “Uh...kit lens?” “Is it 18-55?” “Probably?” Or maybe the reason I thought I’d be interested in biology, but as soon as it got to 21. Haunted Places Photos cellular shit I had no interest. I’m much more interested in the content of things, 22. i.Broke.u Jon Twitch which is why in Broke interviews I ask about band names, genres, and opin- Lee Juyoung ions, rather than how a guitar riff is played. I’d actually be grateful if anyone 23. Words I Made John Yingling who liked that sort of stuff were to step up and contribute to Broke. I’ve men- Yangbantal tioned before this is why Broke has a lot of totally nonmusical content, as it’s 24. Don Junbar Gems more interesting to go after ideas than to sit and think about fingers on strings. Art We have quite a lot of that this issue, and I think we’ve struck gold with Paul’s 25. SALM Paul Odds colouring pages. Might have to bring that back in the future as well. 26. The Soft Times izoxxx The week before this issue printed, I got word that Tim Butcher had passed Im Yeji away. It seems like I never actually met him, but the news has greatly impacted 27. Offensive Band Verv the scene here, as well as over in the US. I axed my previous plan for a page- special thanks to three article, no tears lost, and added in the article and pictures from friends. Names Richardson Comly I also cancelled another article I was going to run, announcing band breakups for Jeff art in a joke obituary page, as it doesn’t seem right to run a real one adjacent to a 27. Metal scene letter joke one. I also modified some small bits of the Choose Your Own Adventure, 28. Crossword Layout though probably improving it anyway. Jon Twitch Whoa, the lights automatically turn off at the Times at midnight! That was 29. What you say?! pretty freaky. I’ve gotta finish that damn cover, rip to PDF, and I’m out of here. Contact So many people here don’t turn off their computers. Man, this place is starting 30. Reviews [email protected] to freak me out. I keep catching view of movement in the corner of my eye, but I’m the only one in the whole press room. If I go missing, print this zine for me! 32. 닭꼬치 PDFs of Broke: daehanmindecline.com/broke 33. Fiction Jon Twitch Contributors are 35. Yangbantal always welcome. This zine laid out in a tri- Choose Your Own Crime Procedural al version of Indesign CC 2015, suckers. Who Killed Jeff Moses? Ever since you were deputised as Moses, husband, cat owner, and lead Generation”) a KCSI agent at the 70th Police Day vocalist of a local punk band with a Even though it’s your first case, holiday, there haven’t been any ma- name that sounds something similar you’ve somehow been put in charge jor crimes in Korea. to ...What Do You Mean? of the investigation. How do you Until now. “Looks like,” you say, putting on want to start? A grisly murder: a body with six your sunglasses (or taking them off stab wounds found under Wow if they were already on), “there will I’ll go to the morgue for the au- Bridge in Seogyo-dong. ID on the vic be no encore.” topsy. Go to page 3 identifies him as an American resi- (Smash-cut to opening credits, I’ll investigate the crime scene. Go dent of Korea named Jeffington Alva featuring a Who song—let’s say “My to page 4 Rest in Power, Tim Butcher Jon Twitch said. After his death was announced, In- Tim Butcher was in Korea for stagram was filled with graffiti of his a brief time, but he made many name, said Iain, and his Facebook strong connections with the lo- wall “is just this crazy wall of me- cal music scene. After it was an- morial messages and stories about nounced on Saturday (Korean time) what a believably fucking righteous that his family had decided to take dude he was.” him off life support, his friends in A concert titled “Tim Forever” is Korea gathered for an impromptu scheduled for Sunday, December 13 wake. at Nori Bar in Sinchon. The lineup “A lot of tears, a lot of beers and will include Yuppie Killer, crasher a lot of love,” said Iain Whyte, gui- crust band Scumraid, hardcore punk tarist of local hardcore group Yup- band the Kitsches, female-fronted pie Killer. Iain and friends are cur- fastcore band Dead Gakkahs, Agari rently planning a memorial concert and possibly one more. for Sunday. “Basically the scene rallied like Butcher was in Korea for about quick and it’s been incredibly great,” three months in fall 2014, traveling said Iain. “I barely had but to ask through Korea with his fiancee. and everyone immediately agreed to “I first met him shortly after he participate.” had just arrived outside the GS25 Iain stressed the group effort be- store next to Badabie during the hind putting the show together, with The More I See show,” said Iain. help from Sohn Changeun (Find the “He was standing there with (his Spot), Ryu Jihwan (Scumraid), Gar- fiancee) and I just felt like going rett Belair (Jordan River), and oth- over and saying hi. We decided to ers. The poster was designed by start a band the next day and ba- Yim Yeji, and Park Jung-min also sically recruited Mac/Haehyun and spontaneously made some art un- Graham in two minutes outside der his name izoxxx. Three Thumbs the Hongdae Playground bathroom Photo: Lee Juyoung which co-manages Nori lacked hah.” Butcher left for home in California ramento hardcore band Trash Talk, equipment, so they managed to Together they formed Tokki Jot, in late November, but there were and when they came to Korea he get Jo Sumin, manager of the new and Butcher also played a few shows plans for him to visit in March 2016 wasn’t a member anymore, but he Steel Face venue, to donate his amp with Yuppie Killer, appearing with and record a demo. jumped on stage and took over gui- backline. them at Spot’s final show on - Hal “He wasnt here long physically, tar on their final song. All money will be sent to Butcher’s loween 2014 and the Iron Lung tour but he was a big friend to a lot of At the time of his death he was an fiancee who is expected to attend a couple weeks after. He also re- us here in the scene,” lamented Iain. active member of Minus, Hell in the and his family to be used at their corded with the band on their album “He was a Yuppie Killer.” Cell, Whip Hand, Our Place of Wor- discretion, either for medical bills or “Cotton Candy,” for which Iain said Butcher was also well known for ship is Silence and many others pre- a charity in his name. “he played good guitar and backup- his role in the American punk scene. viously. “Tim played in more bands Butcher was 27 at the time of his yelled yes.” He was a founding member of Sac- than I think I’m even aware of,” he passing. Image: Yeji

Image: izoxxx Down in the morgue, you find a munching away at a steaming hot ME says. “The most recent ones says “old punk” and it’s a tat- 3 sallow, disgusting old medical ex- piece of odaeng. “But what’s really seem to be on his forearms. Ac- too of an elderly punk with a aminer waiting for you, the kind strange is that each puncture wound cording to our tattoo database, there walker. Sorry mac, that’s no longer of person who would actually be a is different, as if he’d been stabbed is a 95 percent chance they match a in the cards for you, ha!” murderer (if he were played by a by six different murder weapons.” tattoo parlour known as Badass Tat- So, what’s your next step? recognisably famous guest star). You look closer. “Yes, that is inter- toos.” As he works on the cadaver, he esting,” you say, while also observ- “Hmm, suspicious,” you say. “It I’ll investigate this Badass Tattoos. eats from a bag of tteokbokki bal- ing his many tattoos. “Do you know also seems that a lot of these tattoos Go to page 5 anced on its chest cavity. anything about all these tattoos?” are related to punk music.” I’ll go undercover in the punk “As you can see, the vic’s body has “It appears they’ve come from “Look at this one over here,” says scene and try to catch the killer that been punctured six times,” he says, many sources over the years,” the the doc, pointing at one tattoo. “It way. Go to page 10 Legionnaire’s Disease Jon Twitch Insoo: 크레용팝과는 잔다리 페스티 Translation: Park Solmin, Rin 발에서 공연했다. 사실 이 프로젝트 Park 는 잔다리페스타 프로그래머의 농담 Interviewing Crying Nut’s Kim 같은 것이었는데....어찌되었든 공연 Insoo is always a pleasure, but 했다. 우리는 라이브로 연주했지만 크 this time I went after him for 레용팝은 엠알을 들으며 공연했다. ㅋ L.O.D, his old-school thrash/ ㅋㅋㅋ hardcore band with members 당시 크레용팝은 케이팝 걸그룹중 from Samchung, Lowdown 30, and 유일하게 섹시컨샙이 아니었고 음악 Doxology. 도 다른 케이팝과 달랐다. 심지어 안 When I sat down to write ques- 무도 쉬웠지....그런데 그런 걸그룹이 tions for him, I had way too many, 성공하리라곤 아무도 몰랐다. 그런 의 and it took a lot of self-disci- 미가 다른 케이팝그룹들과 차이가 있 pline to narrow it down to what 었고 그래서 인디밴드와 가장 잘맞는 we have here. I was especially 다고 생각해서 프로젝트를 만든 것 같 interested in his thoughts on K- 다. pop, now having performed with a 가장 귀엽고 작은 걸그룹과 뚱뚱하 K-pop girl group, and he doesn’t 고 무서운 아저씨 밴드라니 의외로 잘 hold back. 어울렸던 것 같기도하다. We performed with Crayon Broke: Why is your band named Pop at Zandari Fest. Actually this Legion of Doom (LOD)? 답은 매우 project was also like a joke by 분명해보이지만, 이름을 레지언 오브 Zandari Fest staff... but anyway 둠 이라고 지으셨나요? we did it. We did live but Crayon Insoo: S.O.D카피 밴드를 만들고 싶 Pop performed to a prerecorded 었다. 딱히 심각하게 생각도 안했고, track. At that point, Crayon Pop 어렸을때 프로레슬링을 좋아했었기 was the only K-pop idol girl group 때문에 그냥 Legion of Doom이 생각 who didn’t stick to sexy concepts, 나서 L.O.D라고 지었다. L.O.D가 DC and their music was different 코믹스에 나오는 이름이란것은 결성 too. Even the choreography was 후에 알았다. easy... but then no one expected I wanted to make a S.O.D copy such group would become that band. Wasn’t thinking really se- famous. In that way they were riously about it, and liked pro- different and therefore the staff wrestling when I was younger, and merch but has no albums or Broke: What made you want to thought they would go well with so just the name Legion of Doom shows,’ something like that. We play music that’s harder than indie bands. popped into my head. That’s why also joked about something like Crying Nut? Are you bored of The little cute girl group and it is L.O.D. I realized the name is let’s apply for some band sur- Crying Nut’s music? 어떤 이유로 the big scary ajeosshi band... I from DC Comics after I made this vival TV shows with a pseudo- 크라잉넛보다 더 강한 음악을 하고 싶 think it matched surprisingly well. band. nym. Then we started to collect 으셨던건가요? 크라잉넛의 음악에 질 some members from around, 리신건가요? Broke: What is your honest opin- Broke: How did LOD form? 어떻게 so Lee Boram from Samchung Insoo: 더 좋아하는 음악을 하고싶었 ion of K-pop, as best as you can 결성하게 된건가요? joined, and for drummer, Byung- 다기보단 완전한 농담을 즐기고 싶었 safely explain it to me? 본인이 생 Insoo: 처음엔 로다운30의 윤병주 형 joo recommended Jeong Yong- 달까?...원래 메탈을 좋아했고 메탈씬 각하는 케이팝에 대한 가장 솔직한 의 님과 밴드에 관한 농담을 했다. 처음 wook from Crash, but we thought 에 어울리고 싶은 핑계같은 밴드이긴 견을 말씀해주세요(설명할 수 있는 한 엔 S.O.D카피 밴드를 만들자로 시작 he would be busy so asked Park 한데....딱히 진지하고 싶지도 않고 열 가장 솔직하게..). 여러분이 만드는 음 해서 유령밴드를 만들어서 멤버와 티 Jaeryoon from Doxology, and he 심히하고 싶지도 않다. 직장인의 취미 악이 케이팝의 한 부류가 될 수 있다 셔츠 머천은 있는데 정작 공연도 안하 gladly said sure. 생활같은 밴드라고 할까... 고 생각하시나요? 고 음반도 없는 밴드를 만들자. 그리 That’s how we organized the 우리 세대의 사람들은 농담을 좀 거 Insoo: 기본적으로 K-pop이던 고 당시 한창 시작되었덤 밴드 서바이 members, and at first we spent 칠게 한다. 사실 우리끼리 웃고 즐 J-pop이던... 벌 프로그램이나, 신인 발굴 프로젝트 most of the time just eating and 기면된다. 그런건 다 만들어진 단어들일 뿐이 에 가명으로 나가보자 이런 식의 농담 drinking rather than doing shows It’s not like we wanted to do 다. 카자흐스탄 대중 음악을 케이팝이 들을 했다. and practicing. what we really like... but like we 라 부르거나 하진 않잖아? 다 월드뮤 그러다 주변에서 멤버들을 모으게 wanted a complete joke? Well 직이지.... 되었는데, 삼청의 이보람이 합류하게 Broke: Is it possible there’s a fat- yeah I’ve been liking metal music 프랑스의 샹송이나 이태리의 칸초 되었고 그 이후에 드라마를 구하게 되 ter band in Korea than LOD? 한국 since before and this band sounds 네 아르헨티나의 탱고 브라질의 삼 었는데 처음엔 병주형이 크래쉬의 정 에 LOD보다 체격이 더 큰 밴드가 있 like an excuse to get involved in 바...이런것들 다 그 동네의 대중음악 용욱씨를 추천했지만 그당시 정용욱 을까요? ㅋㅋ the metal scene... but didn’t want 이다. 그런 것을 F-pop I-pop뭐 그렇 씨는 사정상 바쁠것이라 판단하고 독 Insoo: 예전에 Tama and Vaga- it to be serious or diligent in any 게 부르진 않는다. 다 그 지역의 문화 솔리지의 박재륜 형님께 드럼을 부탁 bonds라는팀이 우리와 대적할만 way. It’s like a hobby band of 와 색이 묻어나는 음악이다. 했는데... 한 팀이었지만...지금은 없는것 같아 businessmen... people of our gen- K-pop은 그냥 영미권 음악에 아 아주 흔쾌히 승낙해주셨다. 그렇게 뭐.... eration make quite rough jokes. 니 정확히는 세계적으로 유행하는 해서 일단은 멤버를 구하게 되었고 처 우리 드러머는 살은 별로 안쪘지만 To be honest it’s all good when 음악에 한글 가사 붙여서 부른거지 음엔 공연이나 합주 등보다는 식사와 엑스라지를 입는다. 뼈가 크다. we enjoy them. 뭐 딱히 다를건 없잖아? 어떤 이유 음주로 시간을 보냈다. Well there was a band named 에서 그것이 세계적으로 성공했는지 I was joking about bands at Tama and Vagabonds that would Broke: So, LOD performed with 는 모르지만 그것이 우리 문화의 승 first with Yoon Byungjoo from be a good rival with us... but I Crayon Pop. How did that hap- 리라든지 자랑스런 한국인 이런식으 Lowdown 30. ‘Let’s make a don’t think they’re still together... pen? LOD 가 크레용팝과 공연한 걸 로 선전하는건 뭔가 바보같다. 특히 SOD copy band,’ ‘let’s make a Our drummer isn’t that overweight 봤습니다. 어떻게 그게 가능할 수 있 나라에서 그런식으로 케이팝을 자랑 ghost band that has members but wears XL. He has thick bones. 던건가요? Continued next page. 4 You go to Wow Bridge in There’s probably all sorts of evi- balding but still pretty smart looking. murdered and his body dumped Seogyo-dong. There’s a small dence in there. And he has an awkward eye twitch. here,” he says. lane underneath just large enough You notice at the other end of the Clearly this guy is a person of in- “Do you know whodunit?” you ask. for one car to pass, and you can see underpass, there’s a white guy with terest. “Uh, nope,” he gulps. the chalk outline where the body a camera there, trying to act inocu- “Hey,” he says, coming over. “Do Sounds like he’s lying. What are was found by a jogger this morning. ous as he takes candid pictures of you know what happened here?” you going to do? The wall of the underpass is coated you. He’s in his mid-30s, a bit over- “That’s what I’m trying to find out,” with old posters for punk concerts, weight but you could clearly tell he’s you say. I’ll question him. Go to page 11 dating back probably several years. still in pretty good shape, and a bit “This guy in the punk scene was I’ll take him into custody. Go to page 6 LOD continued. 스런 한국의 문화인마냥 선전할때 는 그냥 제정신인가 싶다. 딱히 도 와주긴했나? 이게 돈이 된다고 뒤늦 게 느끼고 이 전선에 참여하게 된게 Blowing Chunks 아닌가? 케이팝은 그냥 만들어낸 단 Jon Twitch 어뿐이지 딱히 특별하다고 생각하진 Translation: noisemyulchi 않는다. 차별화 될 만한게 없기때문 에... I discovered these guys just a Basically whether it’s K-pop little too late to interview them in or J-pop... those words are just Broke 21—actually I was handing all made up. we don’t call pop out freshly printed zines my first music in Kazakhstan K-pop. It’s time seeing them, and I had to throw all just world music. Chanson of the zines aside and pull out my cam- France, Canzone of Italy, Tango era to get their pictures. As I drive of Argentina, Samba of Brazil... the point home in the interview more they’re all just local pop music in than adequately, it is an interesting their region. They’re not called thing that there are people so young F-pop, I-pop or something like participating in our punk scene. Just that. They’re all just music with a few years ago, if you told me the local culture and colors. average age of a Korean punk show K-pop is just some music with was 30, I would’ve believed you. It’s mostly Korean lyrics attached to an especially odd time to turn up, Western music, I mean pop mu- what with bands proclaiming “I’m sic, and there’s no difference, youth punk!” isn’t there? I don’t know why They have a demo out, though I’m it became successful but mak- looking forward to a future record- ing propaganda like ‘victory of ing of better quality. I also wanted to our culture’ or ‘proud Koreans’ translate some of their lyrics, only to is stupid. Especially when the find they sing exclusively in English. government says something like Looking forward to what their future ‘proud Korean culture’ about holds. K-pop, I doubt their sanity. Did they even help? Aren’t they just Broke: 먼저 데드청크스 라는 밴드 participating in this propaganda 이름의 뜻을 알려주세요. First, what after lately noticing this will pay does the name Dead Chunks mean? off? K-pop is just a made-up Dead Chunks: 데드청크스라는 이름은 thing and I don’t think it is spe- 딱히 숨겨진 뜻은 없지만 직역으로 해 은 것 같습니다. 밴드 멤버들의 나이가 Broke: 왜 더 많은 청소년들이 펑크 cial... nothing really stands out. 석하면 “죽은 두툼한덩어리”란 뜻이 됩 정확히 어떻게 되시나요? It is pretty 를 듣지 않는다고 생각하십니까? 한 그리고 내가 만드는 음악은.....음 니다. rare in Korea that we get people 국 펑크씬이 어떻게 하면 청소년들을 일단 인디밴드던 락음악이던 그냥 Dead Chunks: No other implica- out to shows at your age, but totally 더 많이 받아들이고 성장할 수 있을까 우리는 일단 좋아서 했고, 사실 이 tion in it. It literally means “Dead normal in other countries. What are 요? Why don’t more Korean teen- 게 우리만의 고유한 문화라던지 딱 Chunks.” the ages of the band members? agers get involved with punk? How 히 자부심을 갖지도 않고, 그냥 좋아 Dead Chunks: 기타와 베이스를 연주 do you think the Korean punk scene 서 하는거다. 밴드들간의 교류는 사 Broke: 펑크 그리고 한국 펑크씬을 하는 신경원군과 최진우군은 15살 동 can grow and attract more people 실 음악이 마음에 들면 서로 메일 주 어떻게 발견하게 되었나요? How did 갑이고, 드럼을 연주하는 김동현군은 your age? 고받고 그러는거 아니었나...믹스테 you first discover punk, and the Ko- 20살 대학교를 다니는중 입니다. Dead Chunks: 제 주관적인 생각이지 이프의 교환이라든지 서로 음악이 rean punk scene? Dead Chunks: Gyeong-won who 만, 몇몇 청소년을 제외한 청소년들이 마음에 들면 음원 보내주고 뭐 그런 최진우: 펑크음악은 학교친구의 추천으 plays guitar is 15, Jinwoo who plays 펑크 음악이나, 한국 펑크씬을 제대로 것들.... 로 처음 들어보게 되었고 한국 펑크씬 bass is 15, and Donghyun who plays 접할 수 있는 기회가 별로 없다 생각하 케이팝의 일부라고 보든말든 그건 은 지인들을 통해서 접하게 되었습니다 drums is 20 years old and he goes 고있습니다. 저의 경우에는 친한 학교 그쪽의 자유지만 데발 K rock이라 Jinwoo: I first listened to punk mu- to college. 친구들을 펑크 공연장에 데려오고, 흥 고 부르진 말아달라...락음악을 나라 sic through a recommendation of a 미있어하는 친구들을 계속 데려오는 중 별로 분류 하는건 정말 바보짓이다. school friend. Broke: 페이스북 페이지를 보면 데 입니다. 다들 똑같은 음악을 하잖아....내가 김동현: 펑크씬은 그라인드코어밴드 드 청크스의 장르가 “80s Hardcore Dead Chunks: IMHO, kids in Korea 영어만 잘해도 영어로 부를거라고... Dissektist로 활동할당시 여러 펑크밴 Punk” 라고 되어있는데요, 멤버들은 don’t really get a chance to hear And the music that I make is... 드들과 공연하게된적이있어서 알게되 80년대는 커녕 90년대에도 아직 태어 punk or to encounter the Korean Hmm basically we started this 었습니다. 나지 않았던 것 같아 보입니다. 하드 punk scene. That’s why I’ve been because we liked it no matter Donghyun: I got to know the punk 코어 펑크라는 장르의 어떤 부분에 매 trying to bring my close friends in whether it’s indie or rock music, scene playing in the grindcore band 력을 느낍니까? The band’s genre is school to punk gigs. and we don’t really have pride in Dissektist and having shows with listed on Facebook as “’80s Hard- our own culture or anything like several bands in the scene. core Punk” but you guys weren’t Broke: 커서는 어떤 일들을 하고 싶으 that. We do it just because we 신경원: 기타를 배우게 되면서 “그린데 alive in the ‘80s, let alone the ‘90s. 십니까? What do you all want to be want to and we like it. A good 이”나 “Sum41”같은 밴드들에 관심을 What connects you to this genre? when you grow up? connection between bands is... 가지게되었고, 그 계기로 펑크에 관심 Dead Chunks: 비록 멤버중 두 명은 최진우: 아직 장래에 대해 확실한 결정 just exchanging e-mails if we 을 가지게되었습니다. 술, 담배도 못사는 어린나이지만, 거칠 은 못했지만 나의 생각들을 표현할수 like each other’s music... or ex- 한국 펑크씬은 알고있던 지인들을 통 고 빠른 템포의 음악뿐만 아니라 권위 있는 인테리어나 요리사를 희망하고있 changing mixtapes or something 해 접하게되었습니다. 주의같은 사회의 문제점을 음악으로 표 습니다. like that... Gyeong-won: Learning to play gui- 현한것에 대해 매력을 느꼈습니다. Jinwoo: I havn’t made up my mind It’s your choice to say this is tar, I got interested in bands like Dead Chunks: Even though two yet but I want to work as an interior part of K-pop or not but please Green Day and Sum41. Got to know thirds of our members aren’t old designer or a cook, a job that gives don’t call this K-rock. Dividing the Korean scene through some enough to buy tobacco and alco- you the space to express your own rock music by borders is damn friends. hol, we became fascinated with thoughts. stupid. We all do the same mu- the rawness and fast tempos of 신경원: 아직 구체적으로 커서 무엇을 sic... If only I was good at Eng- Broke: 다른 나라들과는 다르게 한국 ‘80s punk and the underlying anti- 할지 생각을 못해봤습니다. lish, I would’ve written songs in 에서 Dead Chunks 나이 또래의 사람 authoritarian, socially conscious Gyeongwon: I don’t have any spe- English. 들이 공연을 보러 오는 일은 흔하지 않 themes in it. cific ideas yet.

You find Badass Tattoos in - Yeo owner?” you ask. wielding it menacingly. Could that be She really isn’t badass enough 5 mni-dong, not far from the vic- “Uh, I’m the owner,” she replies. one of the murder weapons? to be a killer, is she? But that tim’s home. Inside is a peppy-acting “Badass Bomi.” “What are you here for?” she asks. was kind of a confession right there, woman with a dark side probably You stare at her dubiously. “You? “Another one of those ‘Jeff sucks’ wasn’t it? lurking beneath her bubbly exterior. You’re not all that badass.” tattoos? I’m tired of making those! “Hi, welcome to Badass Tattoos,” “I know, okay? The name was my Next time someone comes here for I’ll arrest her. Go to page 30 she says. “How can I help you?” husband’s idea!” she says sheepish- one, I could just kill them!” No, I’ll get a tattoo from her. Go “Yes, can I please speak to the ly, grabbing a tattooing needle and Something’s not adding up here. to page 15 Shiny Happy Cocks Jon Twitch the same circle of friends? 이름을 Translation: Park Solmin, Rin 처음 보고 제가 한 반응은, 이건 뭔가 Park ‘초록불꽃소년단’과 ‘총체적난국’의 중 간 쯤에 있다는 거였습니다. 아마도 멤 Well this interview turned out 버들이 섞여 있기 때문일텐데요. 왜 서 pretty interesting. It seems they 로 그렇게 친해지게 된거고 같은 친구 thought I was accusing them of 들 사이에서 밴드를 만들게 되신건가 sexism, but they adequately draw 요? the line at just perverted fun. BongSu: 초록불꽃소년단, 총체적난국 Their answers came attached 과 비슷하다는 것에 대해선 딱히 잘 모 with almost a disclaimer at the end: 르겠네요... 맴버들이 뒤죽박죽 섞여있 “샤이닝콕스는 순전히 저희끼리의 어서 그런게 아닌가 싶습니다! 친해진 재미만을 추구해서 만든 매우 장난스 계기는 제가(봉수) 초불소를 너무 좋아 러운 밴드입니다. 노래를 못하는 보컬, 해서 공연장에 계속 찾아갔던게 지금 곡을 망쳐버리는 드럼 등 완벽한 연주 의 관계를 만들었다고 생각합니다. 초 는 못하지만 봉수의 분노와 서정성을 불소는 아직까지도 저에게 있어서 락 느껴보시죠 아잣!” “Shining Cocks 스타인데 말이죠...! is a very jocular band just for fun. BongSu: I’m not sure about it’s with a vocalist who can’t sing, a similar to Green Flame Boys and drummer who ruins the song, etc. Chongkook... It’s maybe because We can’t play perfect, but feel our the members are all mixed to- anger and emotion!” gether! And we became so close I really enjoy this kind of music because I liked Green Flame Boys and their humour, so I’m glad we too much and went to their shows have these answers to read. Check a lot. Green Flame Boys are still out their song translation later in huge rockstars for me..! this issue, which I wouldn’t have JH: 으음 그렇게 비슷하다는 생각은 해 requested if I thought they were 보지 않았었는데... 서로 친해지게 된 actual sexists. 계기는, 이 씬이 좁아터져서 서로가 한 두다리 건너면 아는 사이고, 세션은 없 Broke: Okay, why did you name a for songwriting. When I write songs pervert! 고, 그러다가 친구끼리 모여서 난장판 band Shining Cocks? 음... 왜 밴드 이 and lyrics, Junghyun usually edits, 을 만들어보자 해서 밴드가 결성되었 름을 ‘샤이닝 콕스’라고 지었나요? and that’s how we make our music. Broke: At your first show, there 답니다. BongSu: 맴버들이 전부 남자니까 우 JH: 멤버들 개개인이 음악 취향이 모두 were a lot of female fans there. So, JH: Hmm never thought it’s that 린 꼬추 밴드다! 해서 샤이닝콕스가 됐 다르지만, 곡을 쓰는 봉수와 편곡을 하 do you consider the sexual imagery similar... we became close because 던거같습니다. 사실 기억안납니다... 는 저의 취향이 가장 많이 들어갔습니 of the band to be a big joke that the scene is too small that his 똑바로 살겠습니다... 다. 사실 시작은 포고펑크를 하려고 했 they understand, or are you guys friends’ friends were my friends, BongSu: I think it’s just because the 지만, 하다보니 아무거나 좋아하는건 all sexist and girls like being treat- and there’s no sessions, so we members are all males, so we’re 다 해보자 하는 마음에 엉망진창인 밴 ed like that? 첫번째 공연 때, 많은 여 were like let the friends gather and like this is dicks’ band! Therefore, 드가 되어버렸습니다. 성 팬분들이 있는걸 보았습니다. 여러 make some mess! we became Shining Cocks. To be JH: Our individual tastes all dif- 분이 생각하시기에 이런 현상이 밴드 honest, I can’t remember... I’ll get fer, but me and Bongsu’s tastes 의 성적인 이미지가 그들에게 좋은 유 Broke: What was that last song a life... are more into our music since we 머로 받아들여졌기 때문으로 보시나 you played? A cover of AC/DC’s JH: 사실 저희는 싸움닭 중에 가장 강 make songs. Actually we wanted to 요, 아니면 여러분은 그냥 다 성차별 “Highway to Hell” with something 하고 빛나는 우두머리를 의미하는 ‘샤 do pogo punk at the beginning, but 주의자에 여성들은 그렇게 대접받는걸 else called “지하철 to Heaven”? Did 이닝콕스’ 로 밴드이름을 정하였습니 now we’re just doing whatever we 좋아하는 건가요? I hear that right? 마지막에 연주 하 다. want, and became a messy band. BongSu: 저희는 그저 성적인 농담과 셨던 곡이 어떤 곡인가요? AC/DC의 JH: Actually because ‘Shining 이야기를 좋아할 뿐이지 성차별 주의 ‘Highway to Hell’을 “천국으로 가는 Cocks’ means the strongest and the Broke: Is your music as sexually 자는 아닙니다. 당일에 있던 여성관객 지하철”로 바꿔서 커버한건가요? 제가 most glorious game cock that has explicit as the name? Are you guys 들은 저희의 지인들이었습니다. 재대로 들은게 맞나요? won the fight. all big perverts? 밴드의 음악이 밴드 BongSu: We are just enjoying sex- BongSu: 제대로 들으신게 맞습니다. 이름만큼이나 성적으로 노골적인가 ual jokes and stories, not being AC/DC의 “HIGHWAY TO HELL”을 Broke: What are the musical influ- 요? 여러분 다 엄청난 변태이신가요? sexist. The girls at the show were 오마주 한 “SUBWAY TO HELL” 이 ences of Shining Cocks? 밴드의 음 BongSu: 네. 그렇습니다. 저흰 엄청 our acquaintances. 라는 곡입니다. 특정 시간만 되면 한국 악적 영향은 어디서 받았나요? 난 변태입니다. 남자가 변태인게 뭐가 JH: 딱히 성차별주의자적인 면모를 보 의 대중교통은 지옥이 되거든요. 그중 BongSu: 대체적으로 원초적인 감정에 나빠! 이진 않았다고 생각합니다. 아니면 말 에서도 출퇴근시간의 지하철을 “지옥 대한 노래를 주로 씁니다. “억울하다” BongSu: Yes. That’s right. We’re 고. 철”이라고 하는데 거기서 모티브를 따 라던가 “섹스 하고싶다” 라던가... 주 all big perverts. What’s wrong with JH: I don’t think we showed sexist 와서 그런 노래를 써보았습니다. 로 분노와 욕망이 원동력이 되서 곡이 a guy being a pervert! aspects. If, not whatever. BongSu: You’re right. It’s a hom- 나오는것 같습니다. 제가 작사와 작곡 JH: 저희는 굉장한 변태입니다. 하지 mage of ‘Highway to Hell’ by AC/ 을 해오면 정현이 편곡하는 과정으로 만 노골적으로 성적인 곡은 몇개 안됩 Broke: My first reaction when see- DC, titled, ‘Subway to Heaven.” 곡을 만들어내고 있습니다. 니다. ing the name was that this is some- You know, public transportation in BongSu: We usually write about JH: We’re all such a huge perverts. thing somewhere between Green Korea becomes hell during certain basic instincts and emotions. ‘This But we don’t really have that many Flame Boys and Chongkook. Prob- times. Especially during the rush is unfair’ or ‘I wanna have sex’ sexually explicit songs. ably based on shared membership. hour, we call that subway, ‘지옥철’ something like that... often the an- 남자가 변태인게 뭐가 나빠! Why are you guys all so close to- (hell train). I got motivation from ger and desire become the power What’s wrong with a guy being a gether, forming bands from among that and made the song.

6 “Hold it right there!” you cuffs before he can get to his feet. best as his handcuffs allow. ing your murder suspect out of the shout. He takes off, leaping Soon, you’ve got him in a holding “What are you so smug about?” you jail cell. The two flee together. over a fence and climbing up onto cell in the police station. shout. “We have an entire police force Well, you’re back to square one, the top of Wow Bridge. Who is this “We’ve got nothing,” says your out here to keep you behind bars!” with two dangerous fugitives on the guy, Spiderman? You struggle af- supervisor. “No matches on prints, “We have a Redboi,” he replies. loose. Well, one dangerous, one who ter him, making it to the top of the DNA, dental. Clothing is tatters Suddenly the wall crumbles down can’t even walk on sidewalks. What bridge. Your perp turns to you, gives and rags, no labels. Nothing in his and there’s a giant, monster of a man will you do next? a little wave, and takes off, racing bags but burglary tools and wooden there, wearing only tattered Levi’s away from you at high speed. Then masks. No name, no other alias... jeans, a Fred Perry polo shirt sev- I’ll go back to the scene of the suddenly he trips on the flat side- nothing.” eral sizes too small for his mutated crime and investigate those posters. walk and falls flat on his face, nearly “Congratulations, CSI agent,” he red body, various tattoos, and grey Go to page 7 knocking himself cold. says menacingly from behind bars, contact lenses. I’ll infiltrate the punk scene. Go to You catch up and put him in hand- giving you a slow, weak golf clap as “Redboi smash!” he shouts, break- page 14 And end to Korea’s oi! drought Jon Twitch ferent genre, but playing shows is Translation: Park Solmin, Rin always fun. Just the forms of the Park energy that ska, reggae, and punk provide are different, but they’re Recently I saw someone on Red- all the same in the way that they dit saying it’s hard to find hardcore offer some fun and positive cause. or oi! bands in Korea. You can im- so not that much different. agine I laid into them, at least on hardcore. But there really haven’t Broke: Can you define oi music for been that many oi! bands in Ko- me? Oi 펑크를 정의 해주실수 있나요? rea since the last decade. Captain Brigade: 너무나도 넓고 다양한 펑크 Bootbois are back together, but 음악들 중에서 Resolute is gone. Fortunately we 친구, 술, 블루칼라, 단단한 신념등을 have a new band, The Brigade, so 더욱 강하게 외치는걸 Oi라고 생각합 let the drought be over. 니다. 어떤 밴드가 좋은 예시일지는 유투브 Broke: Why is the band named The 에서 Oi punk를 찾아 직접 들어보심을 Brigade? 밴드 이름을 ‘The Brigade’ 추천하지만, 스크류드라이버같은 화이 라고 지으신 이유는 뭔가요? 트파워,나찌즘밴드들은 안듣는게 좋습 Brigade: 원래 킹오브킹스와 브리게이 니다. 그리고 왜 Oi라 불리게 되었냐, 드를 가지고 글쎄요, 말이 너무 길어질텐데, 스킨헤 고민을 했는데 킹오브킹스는 종교적 드들을 비롯한 그 당시 청년들이 자주 오해의 소지가 있을까봐 제외하고, 뜻 쓰던 hello의 영국사투리였는데, 음 맘 과 어감이 좋은 브리게이드로 정했습 에 들었나보죠. Oi가 매우 힘찬 단어인 니다 건 지금의 우리도 공감하니까요. I was contemplating between King There’s a lot of different punk of Kings and Brigade, but thought genres, but I think the strong- King of Kings might sound religious, est one that stands for friendship, so chose Brigade that sounds good drinking, blue collars, and convic- and has a nice meaning. tion of belief is Oi. I would like to suggest you search up Oi punk on Broke: I like that you guys gave Youtube for recommendations, but yourselves stage nicknames. 각 맴 don’t listen to white-power Nazi 버들이 무대에서만의 닉네임 을 가지 bands like Screwdriver. And why is 고 있는게 맘에 들어요. he’s a damn good downstroke master! Janghyup also has Pegurians. Did it Oi, well I think the answer could Brigade: 장은 장협에 장이 있어서 따 you get tired of playing Jamaican be too long, but it was a dialect of 왔구요, Broke: It sounds like your previ- music? After so much ska and reg- hello in England, which skinheads Djang is from Janghyup’s Jang. ous bands Resolute and Attacking gae, how does it feel to play punk and youths usually used. Hmm 더블탑은 드럼 박종현의 두상이 진짜 Forces are finished. How does The again? 최근에 장협씨와 종오씨가 둘 guess they liked it, and we still 더블탑이라서 지었습니다. Brigade differ from them, and other 다 스카석스에서 활동하고 계시고, 장 agree that the word Oi is a really Double Top is because the drum- previous Korean oi bands? 이전에 협씨는 ‘페규리언즈’에도 계시죠. 혹시 strong word. mer Jonghyun Park’s head shape 하시던 밴드인 리졸루트와 공격대가 자메이칸 음악 연주하는 게 지치지는 really is a double top. 마무리 된 걸로 들었는데요. 그 밴드 않나요? 스카와 레게를 많이 연주하시 Broke: It seems like there’s a seri- 골든 보이는 브리게이드 페이지의 들과 ‘브리게이드’의 차이점과 다른 이 고 나서 펑크를 다시 하시는건 어떤 느 ous drought of oi music in Korea 멤버들 아기때 사진을 가지고 소개글 전의 한국 Oi 펑크 밴드들과 다른 점은 낌인가요? right now. Why do you think that 을 올린 적이 있는데 돌반지가 눈에 띄 무엇인가요? Brigade: 지칠 이유는 없는거 같습니 is? 현재 한국 씬에서는 Oi 밴드를 찾 어서 지었습니다. Brigade: 글쎄요, 다른 점과 차이점이 다 기가 심각하게 어려운 것 같습니다. Golden Boy is from when we 라, 딱히 모르겠어요. 그냥 언제나 지 장르가 다른건 다른 것 뿐이지, 이에 대해서 어떻게 생각하세요? wrote our self-introductions with 금이 멋있으니 공연하는 순간은 늘 재밌으니까요. Brigade: 너무 아쉽죠. 정말 재밌는 장 baby pics of members on The Bri- 지금 브리게이드가 최고라는 것? 단지 스카,레게와 펑크가 뿜는 에너 르중에 하나인데 이렇게 없는게, 브리 gade Facebook page, we just spot- Not sure, what is different... I 지의 게이드가 멋있게 하다보면 하나둘 생 ted the first-birthday ring (돌반지) can’t really tell. Just always the 형태가 다를 뿐 결국 긍정적인 영향 기지않을까요? from the pic. present has been the coolest, so 을 주고자, 즐거움을 주고자 하는건 같 I feel so sad about that. It’s such 미스터 다운스트로크는 말그대로 맛 Brigade right now is the best? 다고 봐서 느낌이 다르다거나 하는건 a really fun genre but there’s 깔나는 다운스트로크 마스터이기 때문 없습니다 none. Well I hope there will be 입니다! Broke: Nowadays, Janghyup and Well I don’t think there’s any rea- more when the Brigade starts to Mr. Downstroke is literal because Jongo are both in Skasucks, and son to be tired of. It’s just a dif- make it real.

You go back to where it all started. neath. rea, so that’s saying something. Which lead do you want to 7 The posters are all covered up by a There are a few for shows at a And here’s an interesting poster. follow up? bunch of flyers for some party at a venue called Lilac, which is the that looks just a day old. nightclub. You tear them off, expos- least-punk-sounding name you’ve “Melodic punk band seeking male I’ll go to the show. Go to page 14 ing the years of punk posters under- ever heard. And you’re a CSI in Ko- lead vocalist, possible husband.” I’ll check out the band. Go to page 8 Kiz These Dayz Kyle Decker and MinJi Seo 물론 그러면 길이 막혔고, 우리는 공 연 도중에 질서정리를 하기도 했다. Known for their high-energy 주변 상가들은 우리가 연주하기 시작 (sometimes acrobatic) shows, and 한 초반에는 처음 있는 일이라 당황해 their famous (or infamous) fully 서 그런지 별 말이 없었지만 몇 회가 electric busking, The Plastic Kiz 지나면서 서서 공연을 보는 그들이 잠 have been a cornerstone of the 재적인 고객이기도 하니까 자기 가게 Daegu music scene since I started 로 들어오지 않고 서서 공연을 보고 지 following it two years ago. After 나가는 것에 대해 불만을 토로하기도 reviewing their debut EP “Dancing 하고 경찰에 신고하기도 했다. with the Moon” last issue, an in- 경찰은 오히려 협조적이었달까. 공연 terview is long past due. We fired 하는 것은 좋은데 민원이 들어왔으니 off some questions to drummer 좀 조용히 해달라 정도였다. Kim Myung-Jin to learn more about 6월 6일에 공연을 했을 때는 해병 these scrappy garage rockers. 대 출신의 할아버지들이 현충일에 공 에너지 넘치는 쇼와 버스킹 공연으로 연을 한다고 굉장히 혼냈던 적도 있 잘 알려진 The Plastic Kiz는 내가 2년 고. 2014년 지방선거 유세 때 키즈 동안 관심있게 지켜본 팀으로 대구의 Changmin and Jeonil were both 로 편곡의 방향도 그에 의해서 결정이 온더스트릿 현장에서 현 시장을 만나 음악세계에 중요한 역할을 하고 있다. guitarists but Jeongil becomes 된다. 기도 했는데, 그 덕분인지 거리공연 지난 호에 그들의 데뷔 EP인 “Danc- bassist because he lost rock-scis- 정일의 재즈기타에서 유래한 연주, 에 대한 정책이 수립되려는 것 같다. ing with the Moon” 에 대한 리뷰글 sors-paper. 명진의 강렬한 펑크드럼이 합쳐져서 대체로 몸은 힘들지만 좋은 경험이었 을 작성한 후, 이렇게 인터뷰를 진행하 조금 더 색다르지 않나 생각한다. 다. 다시는 별로 안 하고 싶다...... (농 기까지 꽤 오랜 시간이 걸렸다. 우리는 Broke: You had been playing to- The song “September” is the best 담ㅋㅋㅋ) 이 개러지밴드 락커들에 대해 좀 더 알 gether for a long time before you out of several songs that we were We did not know the Kiz on the 아보기 위해 드러머인 김명진에게 몇 decided to record. Why did you getting ready for the upcoming Street was well known but thank 가지 질문을 던져보았다. wait so long? summer. We chose that song be- you for saying that. We started 마침내 앨범을 녹음하기까지 꽤 오랜 cause it was fun and exciting while the Kiz on the Street at the end Broke: I have always wondered 시간 동안 함께 연주해왔다. 왜 그렇게 we were listening to several songs of 2013 because Changmin sug- this, and it is an easy question to 오래 기다렸는가? then. Changmin usually listens to gested “Let’s play outside!” We open with, what does the name TPK: 엄밀하게 따지면 2013년 12월 various genres of music and has are people who do rock music, and “The Plastic Kiz” mean? 에 앨범작업에 착수했는데, 햇수로 3 diverse inspirations. He does lots people usually do their perfor- 항상 궁금했던 질문인데, 밴드 이름인 년 만으로 1년 반이 넘게 걸린 셈이다. of roles when we arrange songs. mances in underground halls. Most “The Plastic Kiz”는 어떤 뜻인가? 어떻게 하면 멋진 것을 더 많이 담을 people who become famous musi- TPK: 우리는 처음에 개러지밴드를 하 수 있을까를 고민하는 시간이었다. 원 Broke: Your band is well known cian through TV programs, such as 기 위해 만났다. 모든 개러지 밴드의 래 첫 앨범은 욕심을 부리게 되는 것 for its busking shows, Kiz on the audition programs, live in Seoul, 이름은 The로 시작하여 ~s로 끝나므 같다. Street, and recently you played in not in Daegu. We wanted to let 로 우리도 그를 따랐을 뿐 큰 의미는 우리끼리는 게을러서 그렇다고 얘기 the Street Attack series. Why did people know that there were also 없다. 하지만, 앨범을 준비하는 동안 너무나 you decide to do your shows on the many people doing independent 기타/보컬 창민이 문득 떠올랐다고 많은 활동을 함께 한 것도 사실이다. streets? music or their own style of music 하는 PLASTIC과 KIDS 앞에 The를 결국은 초기에 생각했던 것만큼 집어 당신 밴드는 Kiz on the Street 라는 living in Daegu. However, it was 합친 후 어미를 조금 조정했는데 딱히 넣지 못했지만 오히려 더 좋은 결과물 버스킹쇼로 잘 알려져 있고, 최근에는 hard to settle down in Daegu be- 대안이 없어서 사용하게 되었다. 쓰다 이 나왔다. Street Attack series 에서도 연주했 cause it was hard to promote and 보니 어감도 괜찮아서 쭉 사용중이다. To be honest, we started record- 다. 어떻게 길거리에서 공연을 하기로 there were not many new people We first met to make a garage ing in December 2013, so it is the 결정하였나? coming in and out of Daegu that band. We just followed the rule that third year from then and it took one TPK: 우리는 키즈온더스트릿이 알 often. the names of all garage bands start and a half years to finish it. 려져있다고 생각치 않았는데...그렇게 We did not want to hide our color with ‘The’ and end with ‘~s’. We took time to think about how 이야기해주니 정말 고맙다. 예이!!! of music as something for only Changmin, who is a guitarist and we could put more cool things in it. 키즈온더스트릿은 2013년 말 창민 earning more money, satisfying vocalist in the band, suddenly had I think it is common for people to 의 내년에 밖에서 공연해보자! 라는 이 others, or playing music outside. So an idea of PLASTIC and KIDS. be over-eager for their first album. 야기를 통해 시작되었다. we asked for help. We invited many Then, we added ‘The’ and edited That is the reason but we actually 우리는 록음악을 하는 사람이고, 대 musicians in Daegu, moved equip- the ending a little bit. We have been did many activities while we were 체로 지하의 공연장이나 아는 사람만 ment together, drank beer togeth- using the name because the sound recording. Eventually, we could put 아는 곳에서 공연을 한다. er, and played music loud wherev- of the name is pretty good. as many things as we planned at 그 당시에 많은 티비 프로그램(대체 er there were many people. Many first and get an even better result. 로 오디션)을 통해 스타가 된 그들은 people were enjoying together with Broke: When did The Plastic Kiz 모두 서울에 있지 않나. us when we played in front of the start? How did the band come to- Broke: You do a really fun cover 많은 사람에게 대구에도 인디음악을 Hanil Theater. We sometimes had gether? of “September” by Earth, Wind and 하는, 자신의 밴드음악을 하는 사람들 to arrange all crowds in the middle The Plastic Kiz 는 언제부터 시작하 Fire. Why did you choose to do a 이 있다는 사실을 알리고 싶었다. of a performance. Owners of many 게 되었나? 밴드는 어떻게 결성되었 song so different from your style? 하지만 홍보는 되지 않고 새로운 사 stores around there did not say 는가? How did you change it to make it 람도 유입이 되기가 어려워 대구라는 anything at first but some of them TPK: 2012년 하드코어밴드를 함께 your style? 로컬이 탄탄해지기가 어려워 보였다. reported us to the police. The po- 하던 창민과 명진이 개러지 밴드를 하 Earth, Wind and Fire 의 “Septem- 누가 시켜서 돈을 더 벌기위해서 혹 lice were pretty nice to us because 기 위해 의기투합했고, 예전에 창민과 ber” 라는 곡을 굉장히 재미있게 커버 은 남의 입맛에 맞춰주기 위해서 또 밖 they only asked us to turn the vol- 다른 밴드를 함께 했던 정일을 영입해 하였다. 왜 평소 음악스타일과는 굉장 에서 공연하고 싶다는 이유만으로 우 ume down a little bit. 서 3인조로 만들었다. 히 다른 그 곡을 선택하게 되었는가? 리의 멋지고 강렬한 색깔을 드러내지 When we were playing on Memo- 창민과 정일은 원래 둘 다 기타리스 어떻게 그 곡을 자신의 평소 음악스타 못하는 방식을 취하긴 싫었다. rial Day, June 6, we got scolded by 트지만 가위바위보에 진 정일이 베이 일로 변형시켰는가? 그래서 주변에 도움을 요청했다. retired soldiers for playing out loud 스를 맡게 되었다. TPK: September는 우리가 여름을 겨 그리고 우리가 좋아하는 대구 뮤지션 on the Memorial Day. We met the Changmin and Myungjin were in 냥(비록 제목은 9월이지만...대구는 9 들을 초청해서 함께 모든 장비를 옮기 mayor at Kiz on the Street in 2014. a hardcore band in 2012 and they 월에도 덥다...)하여 커버한 여러 곡 중 고, 같이 맥주를 마시며, 사람이 많은 We think that’s why there may be were trying to make a garage band. 가장 잘 된곡이다. 곳이라면 이곳 저곳에서 시끄럽게 연 policies about busking soon. Most So they invited Jeongil who was in 그 당시 여러 곡을 함께 듣던 중 유 주를 해버렸다. of them were good experiences a band with Changmin in the past 명하고 신나는 것으로 골랐던 것 같다. 유동인구가 많은 날이라면 한일극장 even though we were physically and then we became The Plastic 창민은 장르의 구별이 없이 굉장히 앞 보도가 꽉 차게 모두들 서서 즐겨 all tired. We never want to do that Kiz with three members in it. 많은 음악을 듣고 영감을 얻는데 대체 주었다. again. (Lol, just kidding.) 8 You call the number on the ad. “Yes, would you like to audition?” gation into a chance to lead a band. It’s pretty obvious where this is A woman answers. Well, you happen to know how to You could catch the killer, become a going, yes. Go to page 9. “Hi, I’m calling about the ad look- play guitar, and you’re a pretty good rockstar, and maybe get a new wife As fun as that would be, I’m going ing for a male lead vocalist and pos- singer. in the process! to conduct this investigation by the sible husband?” How about it? Turn this investi- How about it? books. Go to page 32. Things We Said Jon Twitch and we feel we should return Here’s a quick interview I did with something to those who have sup- Victor about their breakup. ported us through the years. So we are throwing a party for everyone. Broke: Why is Things We Say It will be a free show and we just breaking up? want to be happy and have fun with Victor: There is not a specific rea- everyone for one last time. son for that. We’re all great friends and there weren’t any conflicts Broke: Will you ever have any re- among us. We’ve been playing for union shows? 11 years. We got older and some Victor: Isn’t it too early to ask? We of us married. We all are busy with have no plans for that right now. We our jobs and businesses. Especially will still be in the hardcore scene. I have 3 daughters and I want to In fact everyone else but me still spend more time with my family. plays in other bands. A reunion show We play shows on weekends and I would be really easy when it needs just simply don’t want to be away to be happened. Anytime when eve- too often from my kids on week- ryone want us to be back. But simply ends. The room in our life for be- we don’t have any plan right now. ing in a band obviously got smaller. We still have fun playing shows and Broke: One quick followup ques- writing new songs, but we all think tion, will we still see you at hard- and agree to the fact that we’re core shows? pretty much done with this band. Victor: Me? Yeah for sure. I’m not We acheived almost everything we leaving the scene. Just being at a wanted to do with this band. So we show and playing a show are whole are not bummed. We are satisfied. different thing. I don’t want to cancel the show for Broke: Can you tell me about the my personal reason. But with my final show? Why have a final show kids those situations come too of- rather than just quietly quit? ten. When I have to play a show, Victor: Why just quietly quit? one of my kids get sick? It’s just We’ve been having so much fun hard for me to choose Return of the Headbutt Jon Twitch Somebody broke their arm as well, I also interviewed Clayton, whose I think. Daegu band Mr Headbutt reunited The break up was nothing all that for one final show same night as interesting. We don’t do drama. Things We Say had their farewell. That’s for bands in Seoul. Dev- on was finishing his contract and Broke: Tell me about how and why moving to Cali. Matt was get- you’re getting the band back to- ting married and moving to New gether now. Mexico, and Ferdinand and I were Clayton: Alcohol is certainly the both moving up north for work. We why. Jeff from WTM... and I were didn’t so much break up as mi- drunk and going through old Ko- grate. rean punk CD’s when we saw a Mr. Headbutt album. He said he’d like Broke: Will this be the last Mr to see us live again. We drunk di- Headbutt show ever, or could there aled Ferdinand, the original guitar be future reunions? player, and that was that. The why Clayton: Yeah, we’re done after has been harder. Ferd lives all the this. We will be doing 11/14 2nd way in Busan, I live in Cheonan, Devon, the old rhythm guitarist Saturday, 11/21 in Daegu at Club and we are practicing in Seoul. It’s about coming back from Califor- Broke: How long has it been since Urban, and then 12/19 in Busan. been a lot of travel for Ferd. nia to do a little minitour around the last show, and why did you I’m really looking forward to Bu- Korea and maybe Japan. He was break up? san. We’ll be playing with Genius Broke: How many original mem- on the fence for a while, but work Clayton: It’s been somewhere be- and Yuppie Killer, which is pretty bers? nixed the idea. We’re jazzed to tween 2.5 and 3 years, I think. We much a family reunion for us. After Clayton: Just two. Ferdinand on have Jeff and Hongu with us, played the best show of our lives at that, though, we are done. Ferd is guitar and me on bass and vo- though. WTM was always one of Club Urban. Our set was something moving back to New Zealand, mak- cals. Jeff from WTM and Honggu my favorite bands in Korea, and like 2 hours long, and people just ing me the only remaining mem- from...like ten different bands when Headbutt was together we kept getting rowdier. I walked out ber. Only dickheads have reunion are gonna fill in on rhythm guitar played some really fun concerts of that show with a black eye and shows with one remaining member and drums. We actually talked to together with WTM. cigarette burns all over my chest. (looking at you, Jerry Only). Probably the best way to proceed. forces Bialy to call himself these [Trash], who is a really cool Kore- mean one thing... 9 You arrange to meet up with them at days],” says the rhythm guitarist. an punk musician who shares great their practice studio. “Hello, I’m the drummer,” says chemistry with you. We’re going to make beautiful mu- “Hi, I’m [whatever Facebook forc- [whoever is drumming for ...What- After a few practices, you’re ready sic together. Go to page 17 es Trash to call herself these days], ever That Means currently]. for live shows, and you guys have a It’s always the wife. I’m going to the bassist and also widow of Jeff,” You guys have a practice togeth- few great performances. One time at arrest her for her husband’s murder says the female member. er, and it goes really, really well. the end of a performance, you and before she can black widow me too. “Hello, I am [whatever Facebook And you especially get along with [Trash] lock eyes, and it can only Go to page 30 Nevin Returns to Korea Jon Twitch venue. The various scenes that My first punk show in Korea back the venue birthed continue on to- in 2003, there was only one other day and the club’s influence, from foreigner there, a short blond guy its iconic red walls to the classic named Nevin. We didn’t talk to or playlist, can be seen all over. acknowledge each other like good foreigners, but over time we got to Broke: And what can you tell peo- know each other better. ple too young or new about your Nevin was a founding contributor role in the Korean punk scene? to Broke, writing the original “Say Nevin: I’ve always been involved in What?!” column translating Korean underground and DIY punk scenes songs into English, among other and would have been doing pretty contributions. much the same thing anywhere. He moved away to Beijing a cou- When I was in Korea I was hanging ple years later, where he played a out and going to shows pretty much formative role in getting the Chi- every weekend. I wrote reviews of nese punk scene off the ground. Korean releases and scene reports He’s been back several times, but for several English websites and the last time I remember seeing was active in the original discus- him was Jeff and Trash’s wedding sions around forming bROKe. I was which I think was in early 2009. too busy at that time to contribute This time, he returned with his much but did write a column called punk band Fanzui Xiangfa for a “Say What?! — misheard lyrics in cross-country tour. Not only was Korean punk songs” where I trans- the band great, but we also got to lated commonly misunderstood reunite with Nevin and his cousin Korean lyrics into English. Adam. Once he got back to China For a short while I joined the I had to ask him some questions legendary Gangwon-do thrash/ about the scene there, as well as grindcore band Pulgasari and his return to Korea. helped with Korean tours for both R.A.M.B.O. and the Japanese crust Broke: When were you in Korea band Battle of Disarm. last, and Seoul last? Honestly at that time I was much Nevin: I lived in Korea from 2002 more active in the Korean anarchist until 2005 and spent a bit over as I’ve had the great fortune to do Alpine Decline to Korea and De- scene working with the Migrant three years of that time in Seoul. I a lot of exciting stuff over the past merit to the US for WARPED Tour Workers protests as well as some left in the winter of 2005 to move ten years. Working with the Chi- among others. environmental issues and a failed to Beijing and have been here ever nese underground is my hobby as I work with bands in the studio attempt to start a Seoul chapter of since. For a while I was coming well as my job — it consumes pret- and often handle arrangements IMC (Independent Media Center) back to visit once or twice a year ty much all my time and I love it! and logistics for foreign producers. [part of the reason it failed was but haven’t been able to keep that I started out in 2005 just going to I’ve had the good fortune to work because Korea already had strong up the past several years. I was in shows, making friends and hang- together with legends like Brian independent media of its own]. Busan last year for a friend’s wed- ing out. Very quickly I formed two Hardgroove (Public Enemy), Andy ding though and Seoul two years bands, BuHaoChi and Fanzui Xiang- Gill (Gang of Four), Wharton Tiers, Broke: Korea had a strong inde- before that with the Beijing-based fa, together with my cousin, Adam Martin Atkins (PiL), and Blixa pendent media? band Alpine Decline. I really do Gaier, and several friends that we Bargeld (Einsturzende Neubauten). Nevin: Jinbo.net existed several need to get back more often! had met. BuHaoChi in particu- In 2010 I started a DIY vinyl la- years before IMC and is an im- lar was extremely active, playing bel called Genjing Records which pressive independent media net- Broke: What is your role in the something like 18 shows in a lit- has put out 44 releases to date and work. Also, I found a couple links Beijing/Chinese punk scene? tle over three months. It was partly have been working to build two from Migrant Workers TV and from Nevin: That’s a pretty big question thanks to that band and the people new distribution companies, one when I was on Heart to Heart but I met that I was asked to handle based in Beijing and the other in the booking at the, now somewhat San Francisco. My own band, Fan- legendary, punk venue D-22. I ar- zui Xiangfa, continues to be active ranged the programing there for its and tours overseas fairly regularly entire existence, from 2006-2012, and BuHaoChi just held two ten- scheduling six shows a week. In year reunion shows in Beijing, the the fall of 2007 I helped found and first time we’ve played since 2006. continue to work at one of China’s biggest indie labels, Maybe Mars. Broke: Can you explain more about Both through those jobs and inde- the legend behind D-22? I just re- pendently I’ve worked to organize member it being a smaller version several tours and shows for foreign of DGBD with dope smoking up- bands wishing to tour in China. The stairs run by a really seedy for- first one I did was a full China tour eigner, and didnt really pick up on for Suck Stuff and Beijing street- its importance. punks Demerit in 2006 as well as Nevin: D-22 is often, rather un- a couple Beijing shows for Assign- inspiringly, called the CBGB’s of ment 27. Over the past decade I’ve China however not without reason. helped more bands than I can re- The indie music scene as it exists member including DOA, Fucked Up, in China today came into existence Primitive Calculators, Ex Models, in 2005 with many of the biggest These Are Powers, Kid Millions, bands getting their start at D-22. Shocking Pinks and many, many Those early years of 2006 to 2008 more. I also made both Chinese and were a super heady time with mu- foreign tours for Chinese bands sicians and fans from all over the taking Demerit, Carsick Cars and country making pilgrimages to our 10 You stop by the local Hot As you wander Hongdae, look- your picture. I’ll ask for his help finding the Topic and splurge on a new ing for the punk scene, you spot a “Hey you!” you shout. show. Go to page 14 punk outfit. 200 000 won later, you twitchy white guy with a camera “Yes?” he replies. “Are you look- He seems highly suspicious. I’ll look like you could be in BigBang. eyeing you. When he thinks you ing for the show?” question him and see if he’s the kill- Time to do some undercover work. aren’t paying attention, he takes What are you going to do? er. Go to page 11 unfortunately nothing that you can definitely felt more at home in the abroad. I’d been communicating watch. Broke: How was this tour organ- gallery and studio spaces (Yogiga with Mizno for several months and ised? and Jokwang). Those are the types was excited to see his band Dead Broke: What was your first reaction Nevin: I had reached out to Kiseok of spaces we usually play in Europe Gakkahs, who did not disappoint! being back in Seoul? to help organize the tour and even and we really enjoy the energy and Find The Spot are an old favorite. Nevin: My first reaction was just an though he had just gotten married community around them. It’s always ATF from Tokyo were a surprise. I overwhelming sense of joy and ex- and was busy climbing the cor- nice not to have to play on a stage! knew we were going to be playing citement to be back, especially with porate ranks he agreed to help. with them but didn’t know who they my own band. I’d been playing with I owe a lot to him but also Mizno Broke: Which bands stood out most were. It took me a moment to piece Fanzui Xiangfa for almost ten years who worked together with Ki and for you? everything together when outside and had always wanted to make it took on the bulk of the organiza- Nevin: I really enjoyed all the bands the venue I bumped into the very to Korea and play with old friends. tional responsibilities. While they that we played with and getting to same Japanese guys I had been Glad it finally got to happen! handled the details for the whole see the current state of the Ko- drinking with in Tokyo last spring! tour and our first show there were rea hardcore scene was the whole The guitarist/vocal also plays in Broke: What has changed here? also local promoters that did a lot. point of the tour. If I had to pick one of my favorite Japanese bands, Nevin: Korea, and specifically Juyoung from Scumraid was the a favorite though it would have to Voco Protesta. I’ve been a fan of Hongdae have changed a lot since organizer of the second show and be Seoul Dolmangchi. Those guys that band since discovering them my time there. When I first arrived was kind enough to add us onto a were great! It was the first time I in 2004 and was very happy to be in 2002 all the drinking spots were bill she had already booked. Geon- saw them and I absolutely loved sharing the stage with him in Seoul! in Sinchon and clubs like WASP and hwi and the Club Realize crew in it. The whole vibe reminded me a In Busan we played with sev- Drug, in the location later to be- Busan pulled through with a great bit of CST back in the day with the eral great bands, including Dano come Skunk Hell, seemed a bit out show for us down there. Just like whole audience getting into it. Bannon, formerly Hell This Time, of the way (I never discovered the every tour that I’ve ever been a It was also great to see a lot of and Geonhwi’s band, the awesome original Skunk Hell, only its second part of it’s been the combined ef- old friends on stage, Trash playing youthcrew act, All I Have! incarnation), the park was a popu- forts of a lot of different people with The Kitsches, damn they were I guess there are a couple bands lar hangout for punks drinking or who all helped plan, promote and good! And of course the Geeks! that I didn’t mention but they were sleeping away the hours until the participated in the event. I feel sin- I’ve been a massive fan of them for great too! I just feel honored we first morning subway back to their cerely grateful and want to thank over ten years now and always en- got to play with so many great acts. homes. That started to change everyone involved, not least the joy their shows. I’d seen Scumraid while I was there but I never imag- people who came out to watch! for the first time this past spring Broke: How did your bandmates ined the extent of gentrification and in Tokyo as part of Kappunk, so handle Korea? Food and otherwise. commercialization that eventually Broke: Can you give some thoughts on seeing them again on their home Nevin: This was a little tricky as took over. It wasn’t such a shock to the three venues you performed at? turf was a special treat and I’m three members of the group are me this time though as I had been Nevin: I enjoyed playing at Club Re- very happy for how much traction pretty strict vegans. I’m vegetarian visiting regularly and had already alize — I always like that space, but they are gaining both in Korea and but eat fish and seafood so Korea is seen many of the changes, nor did great for me but proved difficult for I get much of a chance to explore them. We worked it out though, Ko- the rest of the city and visit various rea does have plenty of good vegan neighborhoods I knew from before. food if you are willing to search a bit. Besides the food, they all enjoyed Broke: We got old, didn’t we? their experience here. Adam had Nevin: Ha! Yes, we definitely did been here several times before and get old! However, while there were Liu Liu played bass with Demerit on a lot of new faces I was happy their Korean tour so for most of us it and comforted to see so many old wasn’t a totally new experience. friends. Despite the time that has passed I do feel remembered and Broke: When will we see you next? heartened that many of the kids Nevin: Hopefully soon! I’ve started that I knew from a decade ago are a new crusty hardcore project with still part of the scene. Spike, the vocalist from Demerit, Seeing the bands, old friends and and we are looking for a chance just (re)connecting with the Korean to come over. Even if that doesn’t scene was our whole goal for this happen I want to try and get back tour and we were all super happy more to visit. Been missing Korea with the results. way too much! “Mind if I ask you a few ques- He shows you his ID card. It actu- a zine with an article about Jeff’s other. So, which will it be? 11 tions?” you ask this twitchy suspect. ally says Jon Twitch on it. murder. Would you like a copy?” “Yes,” he replies curtly. “And what’s your job here?” you You eye his camera as he hands a I’ll look through the zine for clues “Okay, thanks,” you say. “First, ask. zine to you. The camera probably has to the identity of Jeff’s murderer. Go what is your name?” “Not much really,” he says. “I put lots of evidence, but the zine could to page 1 “Jon Twitch.” together this zine, and I also take pic- be helpful too. However, for some I’ll ask to look at the pictures in his “What’s your legal real name?” tures of the punk scene. I just printed reason you can only take one or the camera. Go to page 12 The Call of Octopoulpe JP: When I started Octopoulpe the concept of this project was pretty different—the music was close to math rock and the idea was to play with another myself video pro- jected on a screen as a duo band, with the possibility of exchang- ing instruments (drums and guitar) randomly. It worked pretty good but there were too many technical limita- tions. I needed a long soundcheck, some good monitors on stage and it was almost impossible to play very fast or very slow music. After that tour, I had a new idea and I decided to change everything. Now I play only drums, but with my laptop and a lot of programming, the music follows what I play and I can make a song longer or shorter if I want. It’s way more comfortable and now I’m able to play whatever I want, punk rock, fastcore, math rock, garage, K-pop etc... I feel to- tally free! By the way, the Krake’n roll is also a monster from the French mythology. A pretty scary one.

Broke: Some of the filmed seg- ments have you playing guitar in public, wearing only underwear and the octopus mask. Were there any concerns with people walking by and seeing you? JP: It was in Hongdae, not far from Jon Twitch the songs, some answer to the in- equipment in Indonesia is not the the club Badabie. I went there few If you get a chance, go check out terviews and the others take care best for that kind of project... months ago with Ken Robinson for Octopoulpe, which is basically JP of my Facebook page. The second tour with le Crabe the shooting of a music video for on drums playing along with pre- I usually spend my days watch- was also a crazy interesting ex- the Geeks. It’s a nice area for a recorded computer tracks set to a ing TV. perience. We played 10 shows in music video. Most of the time, it video projection. And if that sounds Japan and two in Korea. This time was pretty empty, but we also went disappointing to you, all the bet- Broke: Why did you start this band? of course, the conditions were way to some busier streets. I think I ter, because you’ll be all the more Not busy enough with MyManMike? better, especially in Japan—the scared few ajummas but except blown away by the brilliance and JP: When I came to Korea four venues have the best equipment that everything was fine! commitment to concept demon- years ago, I planned to start a solo you can dream to play on, it was so strated here. JP kills it on drums, project without any precise idea comfortable... Broke: From what I’ve seen of as well as frequently appearing on about what I wanted to do. Unfor- But the most important dur- your perfornances with both My- the screen as guitarist, and he in- tunately two weeks after I arrived, ing a tour, it’s not only the shows ManMike and Octopoulpe, you’re vites in some great vocalists too I met two guys who became my but also the people we meet and of not wearing a lot of clothes. Why including Billy Carter and Jaehyeon buddies in MyManMike... course the after parties. For both is that? from the Kitsches, as well as a few One year ago, Klaus Legal, a tours, we were really lucky and we JP: Actually I don’t really have the people he knows from Europe who good friend of mine from France, met a lot of great people we kept choice. I sweat a lot when I play I couldn’t recognise. asked me to tour with him in In- contact with. We also have a lot of drums... If you give me only a tam- donesia in February 2015 with my funny stories... bourine, I’m sure I can play fully Broke: First, what is an octo- “solo project”... I said yes even dressed. poulpe? though I had almost nothing on that Broke: How about sharing one? JP: It’s a magical creature coming moment, not even a song... JP: Well, I had a weird story about Broke: I understand Octopoulpe from the French mythology. It’s in So I really started to work a lot waking up in a police station sur- started as more of a one-man band, between a unicorn and an octopus. on it to be ready for the tour. It was rounded by seven cops at 3am in but since has swelled to include a It’s full of love, but dangerous at long and painful, but I made it! Kitakyushu... No idea what hap- heavy roster of guest musicians. the same time. pened because I was too wasted How did that come about, and how Broke: How did that go? but it was a bit scary. The cops is it decided? Broke: I noticed you don’t use Fa- JP: The two tours I did with Oc- where not that friendly with me... JP: You know, I like playing instru- cebook (much), but on the Octo- topoulpe were awesome! The first two random guys kind of rescued mental music but at the moment, I poulpe page, it says someone usu- one was in Indonesia with Klaus Le- me so I could escape... Maybe I felt that some of my songs needed ally responds within an hour. So... gal during one month. We crossed don’t know about it but I’m forbid- something more. how does that work? the Java Island from Jakarta to Bali den to go back to Japan again... I I didn’t really feel able to sing JP: People usually don’t know about and performed 17 shows. For me it hope not... while playing drums so I had that it, but I have a team of 25 people was the big test... It was the first Broke: Genre is listed as “Fast / idea of asking some friends singing working for me. Some of them book time I played alone in front of peo- Math / Punk / Hardcore / Garage for me in front of a camera, then the shows, some of them work on ple, pretty scary I have to admit but / Kracke’n roll.” How does that being projected on a screen during my stage costumes, some create it worked pretty good even if the work? And what’s the last one? Continued next page. “Mind if I have a look at the There are all sorts of crazy pic- probably shouldn’t be. Here are a offences? 12 pictures in your camera?” you tures in there. Cat abuse, where he few he took while clearly driving a ask. is forcing cats to wear funny hats. scooter. And is that one his ass?! Hell yes, let’s bring this weirdo to He shrugs. “Sure, I guess,” he Pictures of him trespassing in all There’s enough evidence of some- justice! Go to page 6 says, handing it over. sorts of illegal places where he thing! Will you take him in for these I want a murder conviction. Go to page 13 Octopoulpe continued. the shows. I tried it, and I’m re- ally happy about the results. Some videos are pretty fun. These days, when I start a song, MaxJon Twitch Rock n’ Roll I directly have some ideas about the vocals, and who could perform Max Reynolds moved to Korea it. earlier this year after a five-year I already recorded about 20 long-distance love affair with Gal- friends from France and Korea but axy Express, whom he met while I will record more, and not only for they were on tour through Texas singing... in 2012, as filmed in Turn It Up to 11, Part 2: Wild Days. He came to Broke: I really liked the collabora- Zandari a couple times, then finally tion with Billy Carter. How did you said screw it and moved to Korea talk Goyang and Jina into taking with his wife. There haven’t been part? that many cases of punk musicians JP: “We’re gonna eat your brain” moving to Korea (to be musicians) is the title of the song and the only yet, so I’ll be watching with interest sentence Jina and Goyang say. to see his experiences. When I made this song, I don’t know why but I imagined some Broke: How did you initially meet female vocals. I directly thought up with Galaxy Express? about Jina and Goyang because Max:In 2012 I opened a small DIY there are good friends and I like venue in Lufkin,Texas with my fam- Billy Carter. So I contacted Jina ily. GE’s booking agent Shawn De- who quickly said yes, not really spres contacted me on Facebook,he knowing what I expected from was looking for a show between them... Houston and Dallas. I did an imme- diate Google search and was blown Broke: What about the song with away. Those guys are true rock n’ Jaehyeon, “Fashion Punk”? How roll heavyweights. did that come about, and who would you say it’s targeting? Broke: It must’ve been pretty crazy JP: What I like about this project is meeting Galaxy Express, and being that I can easily put some friends in a movie at the same time. What as guest vocalist, so I have a list was that experience like? of many people I want to work Max:It was pretty rad, GE showed with. When I wrote the lyrics and up on my doorstep at 3am with tried to think about a singer for two RVs and a crew 8 people. The “Fashion punk”, I knew Jaehyeon cameras rolled for about 48 hours was the man! I’m a big fan of the straight, so I forgot about them being on the outside. I also really different guitar amps at ever club. I Kitsches. pretty quick. The whole town was like living in a place with strict gun have a fender amp back home that With him, it was as easy as Jina stoked for that show. My venue has laws. Life is too short to stay in one I’ve used for 10 years, so I got way and Goyang. We are good friends, never been so packed. place. too comfortable with that. Also lug- I called him, he said yes, we did it ging my guitar and pedal board on few days later. We just had to bor- Broke: What made you decide to Broke: How long did it take for you the subway has been a hassle at row a leather jacket from Yoong come to Korea for Zandari, and how to figure out that we really don’t times. It can be quite a workout. Gwang to stick with the topic! were your initial visits here? have our act together? This song is about a lot of peo- Max: I had such a great time play- Max: Things seem pretty together Broke: What can you uniquely con- ple in Korea, thinking that being ing shows with GE in my hometown here to me. Plenty of bands, plenty tribute to the music scene? punk only means wearing a leather and I also made a bunch of really of clubs. Some people tell me the Max: Uniquely? That’s a good jacket, a studded belt and a tshirt great Korean friends on FB. After scene was stronger five years ago, question. I play classic style punk with a famous old punk band on it. the movie came out I noticed a defi- but I’ve heard that in every city, and rock n’ roll. I hope I can make No, being punk is not that at all... nite jump in my SNS activity. town and country I’ve been to. Life a mark that is unique to me, but I is what you make it and life in Seoul really just focus on doing the best Broke: ...Did I miss any other Ko- Broke: How much luck have you is no different. that I can. I’m not really an innova- reans you collaborated with? had putting together a band to per- tor. I just try to play as many shows JP: Depending of what “Koreans” form with in Korea? Easier or hard- Broke: How’s life in Korea for you for as many different people that I means to you, I also have a song er than in the US? in general? can. I grateful to get to play at all. where Tim from Yuppie Killer Max: There are so many great Max: So far so good. I enjoy learn- No body has to give me a show and sings. This song is called “Bald musicians here in Seoul. I’ve been ing something new every day. nobody has to play music with me. pride” and I chose him for an obvi- lucky to have Chris Denny (Post Somedays I really miss my family. ous reason... Panic) and Dave Holden (Magna Back in Texas my mom and dad Broke: What’re your future music plans? I also have a one with Sunwoon Fall) sit in on drums. On bass I’ve play in the band with me. I’ve got Max: Going to keep playing shows and Mathew, my buddies from My- got a really great kid named Park a one-year-old Niece and a six- with different musicians until a per- ManMike, singing a song called Jeong-un. Jeong-un plays in the year-old nephew so I feel bad about manent line up develops. I would “don’t throw your shit at your Korean punk band Insert Coin. It’s missing out on their lives. I’m really love to find some people I could friends”. The message of that song definitely easier to find likeminded diving into learning Korean. Learn- write with. I’m studying Korean is very important... musicians here—everyone takes ing a new language has a lot inter- constantly; I would love to do an rock n’ roll really seriously here esting effects on consciousness in all-Korean language EP. I dream of Broke: What are your next touring general. Pentaport. I’d love to play a large plans? Broke: Why did you decide to relo- outdoor festival. Also let me plug JP: Next February 2016 I will go cate to Korea? Broke: Can you talk about any dif- this crazy show. On Jan 19th I’m back to Indonesia—for touring with Max: I heard the call of adventure ficulties you’ve had operating in the going to open for Galaxy Express MyManMike this time—so I’m also for one. I also never really related music scene? at Strange Fruit in Hongdae. GE are very excited to meet again the to my native culture. Texas—guns, Max: Playing music is difficult as going to play 24 nights in a row at friends I have there. hunting, Jesus—so I’m comfortable hell. I’m having some trouble using Strange Fruit in January. Your suspect twitches nervously. this cooperative. do? I had to kill him!” you noticed the clue that there 13 As opposed to twitching comfort- He takes a deep breath. “I paid Well, that’s all tied up in a neat lit- were six stab wounds made by ably, as you’d previously seen. for him to get a tattoo promoting tle package. Usually in these sorts different weapons. “Did you have any reason to want my zine, and he went and got this of dramas, the first suspect is a red What do you want to do? the victim dead?” you ask. Frylock version of the Descendents herring, but I don’t know how long “Honestly?” he asks. logo, and then put my zine’s name you’ve been reading this or what He acted alone. I’ll arrest him and “Sure, if you prefer,” you say, underneath in small print. He totally path you took here, so I can’t say if call it a day. Go to page 30 wondering if all murder suspects are made a fool of me! What else could I that’s the case in your situation, or if No, I’ll dig deeper. Go to page 14 A League of His Own Jon Twitch the show in Daejeon, and ...What- After ...Whatever That Means ever That Means has always loved toured Southeast Asia, they had playing in Gwangju. As far as I’ve a lot of good things to say about been able to find, the only other Iman’s League, a successful foreign touring band to play down skatepunk band they met down in there was the Australian two- Singapore. They managed to get piece Digger and the Pussycats the band up to Korea for a three- back in 2007 so we had to get day tour of Daejeon, Gwangju, and Iman’s League down there too. Seoul, and I interviewed Iman and We wanted to make sure we could Jeff for an article for the Times that draw the best crowd possible in only had a couple of lines from their the smaller cities, so we’re playing interviews. So, here’s more of what there on the bigger nights, Friday they said. and Saturday, and then heading up to Seoul on Sunday to play at Broke: First, always an easy ques- Channel 1969 in Hongdae. I’m re- tion I must ask. What does the name ally happy with how it’s all worked “Iman’s League” mean? out and hope to do it again with Iman: Iman is actually a short form other bands that come through. It of my name. My full name is Nuri- should be a lot more fun than just man actually. I started this as a playing two or three shows in dif- solo acoustic one-man band in ferent neighborhoods of Seoul. 2007. In 2011 I decided to cut an I’m really excited about having EP. I went to the studio and re- Iman’s League, BettyAss, and Full corded everything by myself. Only Garage all on the same bill. They’re after releasing the EP did I realise all labeled as “skatepunk” but they I needed two more guys to help me Broke: Why are you coming to Ko- year. They totally rocked the stage each really show off different as- out in my live shows. There were a rea? and that’s when I did some research pects of the genre. BettyAss has few sessionist members that I used Iman: We started touring in 2012, on the Korean punk scene. From the most snarky, screamy vocals up till 2012 when I finally took Lal covering countries like Malaysia, there I got to know about bands like of the three. Full Garage likes to (bassist) and Anhar (drummer). I’d Indonesia and recently last year BettyAss, Startline and I also got to write short, fast 90-second songs known them since my teenage days. Japan. Our intention of touring know about the documentary on the that are like a quick punch to the We were all in differents bands. is more to make new friends and Korean underground scene. face while still being really melodic. We jammed and we kind of clicked learn the culture of the countries Iman’s League is probably the most and that’s where I decided Iman’s we visit, and also the local un- Broke: What unique thing does melodic of the three and has a lot of League is gonna be a three-piece derground scene there. We also Iman’s League bring to the stage? longer (for the genre), well-craft- band no more a solo act. We had a wanna spread our music to other What will impress us about the ed songs. I’m not one to put sev- couple of followers during that time parts of the world but most impor- band? eral bands of the same genre on the so we decided to just keep the band tantly we wanna make lots of new Iman: What I think the crowd can same lineup, but this time it works name as it is. friends along the way. Since we expect is an energectic show from really well. toured Japan last year, we thought the three of us and lots of jumping Broke: Can you tell us about punk in why not this year let’s try to tour around on stage heheheh... by the Broke: So...how did the tour go? Singapore? Korea. way we are mainly influenced by Jeff: The tour went really well. Iman: The SG punk scene now I Asian bands like Dustbox and To- Iman’s League were fun to hang out guess is growing every day. It Broke: Jeff, I understand you met talfat from japan and also American with and killed it every night. It was kinda died down a few years ago Iman’s League when you were tour- punk rock bands like NOFX and No really fun getting them to play in when venues closed down and ing Southeast Asia. How did that Use for a Name and hopefully the cities that don’t usually get foreign there’s not much places we get first meeting go and how did it turn crowd can hear that kind of influ- bands, too. to perform, but I guess it’s pick- into a Korea tour? ence in our music. I think one of the best results of ing up again these few years with Jeff: It was really great. We love Jeff: They just seemed so excited to this tour was making people a lit- lots of punk gigs happening every touring in Southeast Asia, but we be on stage and playing their mu- tle more aware of the Singapore weekend and touring bands com- mostly end up playing with hard- sic for everyone. I know that might and Malaysian punk scenes. There’s ing to SG. I guess the mainstream core bands. It was really cool to be seem obvious and like something such a focus on Japan here in Ko- culture is slowly accepting the on the bill with such an awesome you could say about any band, but rea, but we’ve had such amazing underground music here in SG, skatepunk band that was a little there was just something more sin- experiences touring in Malaysia and but it’s still hard for mainstream closer to our style. cere with Iman’s League. They had Singapore. I’m glad we could bring listeners to accept our kind of Whenever we tour in other coun- a huge amount of energy and just back a little piece of that. There music. For instance we won two tries, so many bands ask us about plain joy while playing. It was really have already been a few bands talk- awards recently at APM and we coming to play in Korea. Iman’s fun to watch. ing to me and Iman’s League about received lots of haters comments League is one of the few that has touring down there. I hope the rela- by mainstream listeners online but actually followed up with us and Broke: Why are you taking the tionships between our scenes keep I guess, to us we are set out to said they wanted to make it hap- band across country to Daejeon and growing for a long time. do what we initially wanted to do pen no matter the cost. They were Gwangju? Iman: The tour had been an awe- in the first place and we are still 100% ready to jump on a plane and Jeff: Foreign bands always play some experience for us. The going to continue doing it as long come play, so we chose the dates in Seoul, and if they venture out support given by the audiences as we can. Getting recognition in and made it happen. elsewhere, they usually go to Bu- at all the shows was something the mainstream industry is like a san. We’ve had such great experi- that we didn’t expect This is our bonus to us and we truly appreci- Broke: Iman, how much do you ences in other cities that always first time touring Korea and it ate all the support given to us by know about Korea prior to visiting? seem to get overlooked by tour- was overwhelming. We are re- the underground scene as well as Iman: Honestly speaking I did not ing bands so we wanted to make ally gonna miss everyone there the mainstream industry all these know much about the Korean punk sure they got the chance to see and all the new friends we made. years. At the end of the day we scene up till we opened up for Iman’s League, too. Our friends For sure we will come back again just wanna do what we love. ...Whatever That Means in SG last in Burning Hepburn helped set up more often!

14 Well, you rock up in Hongdae show, to find a crowd of punks can play rhythm guitar and sing me- tention for this undercover investi- cleverly disguised as a punk standing outside freaking out about lodic punk lyrics?” someone exclaims. gation. Which way will you go? and manage to find the punk scene, something. “Melodic punk?” you query. where you are sure to get to the “Our headlining band’s singer was “Okay... pop-punk.” I’ll join the band. Go to page 16 bottom of this mystery. murdered and they won’t be able to This could be an easy way in. It I’d rather blend into the back- You arrive at the venue of the play... unless we can find someone who could also get you way too much at- ground. Go to page 21 TheJon Twitch and noisemyulchi More We Read시간 이상 일하고 평균 수면시간은 5 Scene photographer and Scum- 시간 이내였습니다. 주말에 공연에 다 raid drummer Juyoung released her 니면서 촬영해놓은 사진은 많은데 작업 second photo book under the title 할 시간이 없어서 이걸 한달만에 하느 “The More I See.” Finally, a dis- 라 많이 힘들었어요. cipline we at Broke can relate to! 그에비해 책의 디자인 기획은 5분만 Here’s what she said to us. 에 완성했어요. 이걸 구현하는데에 매 일매일 밤새고 힘들었지만요. ㅋㅋ 본 Broke: 지난 한달간 책에 굉장히 많은 업이자 최대관심사가 북디자인이라서 노력을 쏟으신 것 같습니다. 촬영은 물 디자인작업에는 큰 무리가 없었어요. 론이고 편집부터 인쇄까지 직접 다 하 Broke: You seemed to work tire- 신 것 같은데, 그 과정에 대한 이야기를 lessly for your new book for about 조금 들어보고 싶습니다. a month. You not only took all the Juyoung: 4년 전에 비하면... 사진이 조 photos but also did the editing and 금 더 늘었고, 학생이였던 시절보다 더 printing by yourself. We want to 실용적인 디자인을 할 수 있게 된 것 hear more about that process. 같습니다. Image: Lee Juyoung / The More I See Juyoung: I was originally planning 이 책을 만들때 가장 중요한 점이자 three sections with colors, black and 메라를 달라고 할 때가 종종 있습니다. to make the book a bit slowly but 큰 고민은 역시 ‘씬에 있어서 이 책이 어 red. It’s Korea, Japan, and Southeast 예지, 유림, 희운, 다솜, 대현 지금까 my photo-comrade and Scumraid 떤 도움을 줄 수 있는가’ 였어요. 1편을 Asia in order and the black parts indi- 지 너무 고맙고 앞으로도 잘부탁합니 European tour photographer-to-be 출판한 이후, 제 밴드를 하고 공연기획 cate the date the picture was taken. 다. Suhwan suggested that I participate 을 하면서 관객의 중요성을 알게되었습 Broke: Broke in Korea suffers be- in Seoul Art Book Fair, Unlimited 니다. 책을 보시면 알 수 있지만 동봉되 Broke: 찍은 것 중 가장 마음에 드는 사 cause its main writer is also its main Edition 7. I had to work real hard 어 있는 포스터나 책의 커버는 제가 촬 진이 있다면 어떤 건가요? editor and I can’t easily edit myself. in a short time to finish the book by 영한 사진에 찍힌 관객들의 손을 하나 Juyoung: Kromosom @daytrive, na- Likewise, Scumraid must suffer be- the due date. I worked for a fash- 씩 찢어서 만든 아트웍입니다. goya Japan 2013.9.22. 제가 구현하 cause you are unable to get photo- ion agency for a year and a half and 좋은 밴드도 중요하지만 관객이 (밴 고싶은 색감에 거의 일치하는 사진이 graphs of them, right? was really busy because of it. I didn’t 드도 공연을 안할 때는 관객이죠.) 참여 고 관객들 한명한명의 얼굴이 보이는 Juyoung: Yes, we (as Scumraid) have time at all to work with my 할 수 있고 그 분위기가 만들어지는 환 게 좋습니다. sometimes get to play really decent photos, working more than 13 hours 경이 중요하다고 생각해요. 관객의 얼 Broke: What’s your favourite photo shows but a lot of the times can’t get a day at the agency. I had a lot of 굴을 하나씩 담을 수 없으니 제가 할 수 you’ve ever taken? photos of Scumraid. However my photos accumulated, going to shows 있는 방법으로 표현한 것입니다. 제가 Juyoung: Kromosom @daytrive, na- friends help me a lot in these situa- on the weekend and taking pictures 이것을 깨닫게 된 점이 가장 큰 성장이 goya Japan 2013.9.22. This photo tions. Yeji, Yurim, Hee-eun, Dasom, but didn’t have time at all to work on 라고 생각합니다. seems to materialize, in the sense Daehyun thanks for all the help! any of it. I had to work with all the 그리고 디자인적인 변화로는 1편에 of color, what I think is the ideal. I photos left undone in a month and 서 구현하려다가 실패했던, 책 옆면을 also like the fact that I can see the Broke: 확인해본 바, 이번 책이 지난 that really was exhausting. Design- 이용한 날짜와 섹션구분입니다. 책 옆 faces of the audience, one by one. 번 책보다 색이 훨씬 풍부해진 것 같 ing the book wasn’t that hard though. 면을 길게 늘어뜨리면 빨간색과 검은색 습니다. It only took me 5 minutes as book 으로 3가지 섹션이 구분됩니다. Broke: 자신만의 특징적인 촬영 스타 Juyoung: 항상 같은 공연장에서 펑크 designing is one of my biggest inter- 순서대로 한국, 일본, 동남아시아를 일을 갖고 계시나요? 사진을 보면서 “ 밴드를 촬영하니 구도가 비슷하게 나올 ests and at the same time the way I 지역별로 구분한 것이고, 까만색부분 아 이건 이주영 꺼다” 싶은 부분들이 어 수 밖에 없었습니다. 1편에서 흑백으로 earn a livng. Giving concrete form to 이 점점 내려가는건 날짜표기입니다. 떤 게 있을까요? 뽑아보니 다 비슷한 사진같아서 재미가 this design was a hell of a job! 내려갈수록 현재에 가깝게 표기한 것 Juyoung: 촬영할때는 대충 찍습니다. 없었어요. 그리고 제가 사진에서 가장 입니다. 저는 프로사진가가 아니라서 어쩔 수 큰 매력을 느끼는 부분이 ‘색’ 이기도 Broke: 이번 책을 독립출판 마켓인 언 Broke: What have you seen more of 없어요. 대신 컴퓨터에 데이터를 옮기 해서, 이번에는 전재산을 투자해서 컬 리미티드 에디션7을 통해 처음으로 선 since your last book? 고부터는 원본과 대조해서 알아차리기 러로 만들었습니다. 지금은 완전 빈털 보이셨습니다. 독립출판에 대해 어떻게 Juyoung: Compared to myself four 어려울만큼 색과 밝기조정을 많이합니 털이예요. 생각하시나요? 이게 펑크의 DIY 정신 years ago, my skills in photography 다. 누가 찍은 사진이든 제가 찍은 것처 Broke: From what I’ve seen, the 과는 어떻게 연결될까요? have improved a bit and I learned to 럼 만들 수가 있어요.ㅋㅋ new book has a lot more colour to it Juyoung: 이번 UE7에서 여러가지 작 do some practical designing. 화면에 담긴 모든 물체가 밝고 선명 than the previous one. 품들을 살펴보고와서 느낀 것이 The biggest concern while mak- 하게 보이면서 모든색상이 쨍하고, 찌 Juyoung: I take photos of punk 독립출판이라는게 누구나 할 수 있다 ing this new book was, ‘how can 글찌글 선명한게 제 사진의 특징입니 bands in the same venues over and 는건 정말 좋은 점이지만 무리하게 필 this book help the scene?’ After 다. over again, so the composition of 요없는 것을 만들 필요는 없다고 생각 the release of the first book, I came Broke: Do you have a distinctive the photos I take is not that varied. 합니다. 제게 있어서 DIY는 스스로한다 to acknowledge the importance of photographic style? What could we Especially when it was in black and 는 의미보다도 ‘무엇을 위한 것’인지가 the audience. You’ll notice that the look at in a picture to say “Oh yeah, white it looked all the same. Also, I 더 중요하다고 느끼기 때문에, 좀 더 가 poster included and the cover art this is a Lee Juyoung”? think that the most interesting thing 치있고 실용적인 작품이 많았으면 좋았 of the book is artwork I made with Juyoung: I take photos roughly. I am about photography is colors, so this 을텐데..라고 생각했어요. 참고로 전 다 photos of hands of audiences, cut not a professional photographer af- time I’ve invested everything I got 른 참가자분들의 좋은작품을 구입하는 out and reassembled. Good bands ter all. However after I transfer the to make the book in color! I’m com- 데에 전혀 돈을 아끼지않았습니다. ㅎㅎ are of course important (in fact the photos to my computer I change the pletely broke now. Broke: Can you explain more about band themselves are an audience color and brightness drastically to Unlimited Edition 7, “an annual art when they are not playing) but an the extent that you wouldn’t be able Broke: 지난 한달간 책에 굉장히 많은 book festival showcasing small- environment that creates this at- to recognize the original photoㅋㅋ 노력을 쏟으신 것 같습니다. 촬영은 물 scale and independent publications”? mosphere where the audience can Give me any photo and I can make 론이고 편집부터 인쇄까지 직접 다 하 Juyoung: After looking around UE7, participate is of sheer importance. it as if I took it. Everything on the 신 것 같은데, 그 과정에 대한 이야기를 I got to think that it really is a great I cannot take photos of everyone in photo gets much brighter and vivid 조금 들어보고 싶습니다. thing that anyone can make their the audience so I tried to express to the extreme! Juyoung: 원래는 책을 천천히 만드려 own books (and goods) via inde- this [atmosphere] the way I can. 고 생각했었는데... 저의 사진동료이자 pendent publishing. But on the other Realizing the importance of the au- Broke: Broke in Korea 는 주 필진이 스컴레이드 일본투어와 앞으로있을 유 hand, I wished people hadn’t worked dience was the biggest advance I 동시에 편집장이기도 하다는 점 때문에 럽투어에서 촬영을 도와줄 수환씨가 서 too hard making things that are use- made since the last book. 편집하는 데 어려움을 겪고 있습니다. 울 아트북페어 (언리미티드 에디션7) less. To me, DIY is more about ‘what As for the change in design, I tried 공연하는 동시에 스스로를 찍을 순 없 에 참가해보라고 권유해서, 급하게 책 is to be done’ with it rather than just to use the side of the book to indicate 기 때문에 을 만들게되었습니다. 본의 아니게 행 doing things by yourself. I wished when and where I took each photo. This Juyoung: 맞아요, 정말 좋은공연에서 사날짜에 데드라인을 맞춰서 시달렸어 people had made more valuable was the thing I wanted to do in the first 라이브를 할 기회가 생겨도 스컴레이 요. 지난 1년반동안 정말 바쁜 패션에 things, something that has a use. By book but failed. If you look at the side 드 사진만 없는 경우가 많아요.. 하지만 이전시 회사에 다녔었습니다. 그동안 the way, I did not save money on of the book you’ll notice it is divided in 친구들이 그 점을 배려해줘서 먼저 카 사진작업은 꿈도 못꿨고요.. 하루에 13 goods that I thought had some value!

“I’d like a tattoo from you,” you say. you?” Badass Bomi asks. just a guy who... page 20 15 “You’re not an undercover cop, are “No, of course not,” you say. “I’m “Supports the punk scene.” Go to “Thinks Jeff sucks.” Go to page 19 The View from Underground Kyle Decker I met John Yingling as he was Broke: What (if anything) could passing through Daegu while doc- the scene in Korea learn from the umenting Chinese bands on tour other scenes you’ve observed? back in summer of 2014. John’s John: Go to more shows. Start been working on a project over a band. It doesn’t matter if it’s the last few years to document shitty. Just play. Fuck shit up. and archive DIY music scenes Take a thing you find in a store, from around the world. His web- smash it up, put a mic on it, add a site theworldunderground.com is a keyboard. Just get out there and great resource where you can find help create something larger. You dozens of recordings of live con- and almost everyone else I talked certs, as well as The World Un- to said there were only a hand- derground: Episode 1: China, a full ful of bands in each city worth a length documentary on the current damn. I didn’t spend enough time music scene in China. With more in Korea to have any idea how to episodes on the way and a grow- fix that, and I sure as hell know ing list of contact info for bands, nothing about the layers of culture and more music being added it’s and environment that cause such a worth visiting and revisiting. The thing. You’re there now, YOU help whole thing is grassroots and self- Image: John Yingling / World Underground fix it! Heh. funded. John came back through The point is to make a global con- We’re talking a very, very small South Korea in October and I got nectivity platform. fraction. Broke: You came through last year a chance to hang out with him for following the Chinese bands Noise the weekend and pick his twisted Broke: What common threads Broke: From what you’ve seen Arcade and Guiguisuisui what do little brain. When I did insights have you discovered in DIY scenes how do the bands add their own you think has changed about the came out. from country to country and cul- culture’s flavor to what seems to Korean scene since you visited ture to culture? be western style music? How do last time? Broke: Obvious question out of the John: There’s a love for the older the Asian bands make it unique? John: Honestly, I have no idea. way. This is quite an undertak- generation of music, but it’s dif- John: Those terms are becoming Everything seemed exactly the ing. What inspired you to take on ferent in each country. China more and more meaningless as same to me. We finally caught Say this project? What do you see as loves everything, like Yang Hail- music itself grows, takes its own Sue Me, which was awesome. Ge- the ultimate goal or impact of The ing from P.K.14’s love of Woody roots from elsewhere. You have nius seemed a lot more drunk this World Underground? Guthrie, Beijing’s DIDERS who bands like SENYAWA in Indo- time around. Which is funny be- John: I’m a nerd. I sit online all loved Japan’s Jetboys, or Indone- nesia, this hyper unique blend of cause it’s the opposite for me. It day anyway, so I figured why not sia’s clamoring for old punk rock traditional Indonesian, noise, vo- was tough to pay attention on the put the time to good use. There and grind-core. cal manipulation. Pop bands like last go around because I was such are numerous sources of inspira- It’s always interesting to me Hedgehog are a decent example a mess last time. tion. Shitty travel blogs; overly to hear the younger kids eager- of blending somewhat “Asian- sensationalized pieces that are too ness to go to America. I always sounding” bits (little bell dings, Broke: Which Korean bands have short, have little meaning, or graze ask why, and a common answer bike rings, instruments) while you gotten a chance to see and over giant subjects with little sub- is “because it’s cool!”, but then singing sometimes raw, sometimes which have you enjoyed the stance. A main inspiration is try- you talk to the ones that actual- cute pop songs in Mandarin. Duck most? ing to take a completely different ly went, and most of them hated Fight Goose have basically all but John: Genius are always excel- approach to this type of project. it. It’s the same as any American put Shanghai’s frenzy into their lent. Say Sue Me were spectacu- First off, the majority of mu- who saw too many kung-fu movies spectacular 2012 album SPORTS. lar, and it was the first time I saw sic documentaries that reach the and headed to Asia with an idea of (tenzenmen.bandcamp.com/album/ them. Drinking Boys and Girls mainstream are about things that what that place would be. sports) Again, people have this Choir. This was a short trip, ba- happened 10 or 20 years ago. A A common love for live music idea of an “Asian sounding” band... sically waiting until we could le- few dozen talking heads, insert a knows no boundaries, which is a and it’s kind of bullshit. Someone gally enter China, so I didn’t see couple dozen animated flyers and main reason why this project is so is releasing a book called “NOT a whole lot. photos, 20 seconds of music. Re- important to me. 10 years ago, I YOUR WORLD MUSIC” on Indo- peat. The more current ones you never thought in a million years I nesia...and Rully from Senyawa Broke: And finally, what’s the cra- see, they all make the festival cir- would be in China, Korea, Japan, shared a shame thread. What does ziest thing you’ve witnessed on cuit, and then go dark. Half the Indonesia, doing what I’m doing, that term even mean anymore? your sojourn in Asia? time you can’t even buy the thing. but now I live in China. It’s been To Indonesian kids, traditional In- John: Aside from one guy at- Websites from 2009 that had little insane. donesian music from a different tacking another with an umbrella substance to begin with are never continent is “experimental” music, in China, I’d honestly say just updated, and just sit there, mean- Broke: How involved are foreign- and they think a lot of experimen- watching the masses of people do ingless. ers (westerners) involved in the tal American music is boring as what they do is still quite insane The point of this project is the Asian scenes you’ve seen? Or is it hell. to me. exact opposite; an ever-evolving, mostly locals? Or does it vary from Sitting down on a shitty plastic grossly attentive archive of cur- location to location? Broke: What has stuck out to you table, and looking at the pulse of rent documentaries on what’s John: Mileage, talent, and out- about the Korean scene? What each city. Drop a buck or two for happening now. Dozens of live look may vary. Honestly, I mostly makes it unique from the other more food more amazing than I’ve recordings, available for free. try to stay away from that being scenes you’ve witnessed? ever eaten in America, plaster a I’m doubling down and adding the in the films. Sometimes there’s John: You can see the long work- shit-eating grin on your face, and “Connect” page of current links pockets, like Cut Frenzy in Har- ing hours ooze out on to the stage. watch people interact. There’s al- because it’s important. Now peo- bin being one of the only bands in Heavy drinking and 30 minutes ways these brief moments of clar- ple can use this as a resource, too. this “small” Chinese town of 10 to let out your frustrations bleed ity where you wonder how you got Each of the pages will grow larg- million. Beijing, there’s a rather out into the crowd. GENIUS are so lucky to do just that. That’ll er with every trip I take. Now if large scene with some really great a good example of this, and their always be insane to me. If you someone wants to start research- things going on. Japan and Ko- lyrics follow suit. “I don’t want to haven’t had these moments, I beg ing China, Japan, Indonesia, wher- rea, as you know, there’s a good work tomorrow...just give me back you to get out there and experi- ever, they have a starting point. amount. Indonesia, not so much. my $400 bucks.” ence it. 16 You get up on stage and join that you’ve replaced Jeff entirely. we going to play shows now?” could play drums.” this band you still feel like you After your extensive encore, you A Korean guy with thick glasses only just met. You guys play a great go up to the alley and find your and long hair that sort of resembles Let’s do it! Go to page 22 set and have the audience eating out drummer, freshly killed. Darth Vader’s helmet comes over. Motive! He killed both members of of your hands. Nobody seems to care “Oh man!” you exclaim. “How are “Hello, I’m Hong Gu,” he says. “I the band! Go to page 30 Epstein vs Twitch Jon Twitch going to reject it out of hand. and everyone’s afraid of them. Like all around the world who in quite My 45-minute interview with Broke: I do. But I admit it is very punks are getting arrested for their substantial numbers are aware Stephen Epstein is way too long to culturally interesting. anarchistic beliefs and practices, that Korea is making interesting reprint here. Instead, here are my Epstein: Yeah, it’s culturally in- and then K-pop bands are using music. And there are people who favourite moments from it. teresting. Over the years, I’d say I the symbols. are interested in K-pop, but then could probably give you a half doz- ...Oh yeah, we should get back to they think “You know, there was Epstein throws down grammar- en, maybe ten songs from main- the interview. Gangnam Style too, so that coun- style on Jeff over titles. stream K-pop that I genuinely like, Epstein: This is bound to happen. try probably has some cool music.” Epstein: Actually the title of the that I think are pretty good songs. And if they’re kind of interested compilation album is “Them and We discuss the Noisey documen- then they may check it out. Us” rather than “Us and Them” it’s On Brown Eyed Girls and their tary on NYHC featuring the Geeks: just that “Us and Them” (the docu- “Warm Hole”: Epstein: I thought it was fantastic On K-indie and hating CNBLUE: mentary name) is a more natural Broke: K-pop stars have become they showed up in that documen- Epstein: The more important ques- way to phrase it. I mean “Them and strippers so quietly that we didn’t tary that Tim Armstrong was nar- tion to me is is there K-indie? Us” is good as a title because it even notice until it was too late. rating. I don’t think Kiseok has met Broke: I would say yes for bands calls attention to itself. Epstein: I think the Brown Eyed Tim Armstrong. like Busker Busker and stuff. Girls in particular, they’ve shown Broke: What is this? Epstein: Exactly, and I think there What a mid-2000s documentary up on SNL Korea, and have done Epstein: Oh, the Noisey documen- is, something that to me is recog- would have looked like: satire, they’ve had this Lady Ga- tary about the New York hard- niseably K-indie, so Busker Busk- Broke: One of the other questions ga’s Poker Face and they changed core scene. Kiseok features pretty er, I mean the worst is CNBLUE. I have is you didn’t make a docu- it to “Plastic Face” it was a satire prominently in that. Korea’s their Broke: They’re not indie at all. mentary during the 2000s, and I of plastic surgery. I think the wom- primary example of how the New Epstein: I mean I really, watching do think “We are the Punx in Ko- en in that band going solo, they’re York hardcore scene spread around their video they’re playing with rea” would have been an excellent, the ones pushing the envelope in a the world and influenced people. the Crying Nut version of a song, maybe a bit too on the nose, but pretty interesting and I would say Kiseok comes off as being very I watched that and within 30 sec- that scene at the time was always a kind of positive way. thoughtful in his way, and it’s good. onds, really, I wanted to grab them little too on the nose. Broke: They were only able to do and just slap them. The only dif- Epstein: As far as that it didn’t hap- that after they met their initial suc- When I ask him about nationalism ference between them and main- pen, I mean had it happened then cess. They probably started on a in Korean punk: stream K-pop idol bands is they it would have had a very different poor salary like all other drones. Epstein: It’s kind of a globalised were playing instruments. That is feel than the other two. It would Epstein: Well they started out and cultural element, it’s not about be- all. have been great if we had unlimited they still are a corporate act. But ing ethnically Korean. And in fact Broke: This is my opinion, this is access to go around with Jonghee they have a bit of control, I mean “We are the Punx in Korea” is a what the future could hold, is K- and get Rux to be the center of that control over what they’re doing. great example of that. If you’re a pop will realise rock bands are one. And of course the problem punk you’re with us, and we don’t doing well, and they’ll make rock what would make it a great docu- I grandstand on idols co-opting care if you’re Korean, that’s not bands. CNBLUE makes good music mentary, and I don’t think he would punk fashion: the important thing. The important when they’re ripping off Crying Nut have been up for this in any way at Epstein: The one I’m kinda curi- thing is that you’re a punk, that we and YNOT? all, but to have a documentary that ous about for all the mocking is the have this globalised cultural iden- focuses on Rux and deals with the guys in BigBang with all the punk tity that we share, so you can be The differences between K-pop Music Camp incident, then you’ve clothes. part of our tribe. and J-pop: got something that people overseas Broke: Oh god, that? Apparently ...Anyway, I don’t think there’s Epstein: I really don’t like K-pop would be really interested in see- two of them claim they listen to much nationalism, in fact very little very much, but there’s a lot of stuff ing. I mean depending on the foot- punk. But then that’s even worse over the last few years, maybe you that I would consider J-pop just age, it could be really interesting that they listen to punk and still can think of examples, of some- within J-pop that I really like, in- and really hilarious. make that music. thing within the scene of people cluding idol bands. There’s one idol Epstein: But that music if you listen doing something and saying “Yay band I adore, called Guano. I think On screening his documentary to to them, they’re different from a Korea.” they’re fantastic and have great K-pop fans: lot of the bands that are out there. songs. But the difference between Epstein: Putting K-pop deliber- They do have more of an edge. On originality in Korean punk: K-pop and J-pop is Japan’s popular ately in the title was a bait-and- Broke: Certainly, absolutely. But it Epstein: I dunno, you would get music is guitar-based. There’s just switch. Anybody reading the title doesn’t seem like they have a social that, but one of the things is that so much more guitar. K-pop you without seeing the documentary conscience or anything like that. 2015, bands overseas, it is very rarely hear guitars. It’s so refresh- will pick up that there’s probably Epstein: Oh that’s true. very hard to be in the indie music ing in K-pop when you hear a gui- going to be an oppositional sense Broke: The whole K-pop stars scene, be a punk band, and have tar. But in J-pop there’s so much that’s in there and it’s going to be dressing up as punks and ruin- people think you’re original. more guitar. from the stance of the Korean indie ing it in my opinion, what’s getting My take has been, for example rock scene. When we presented it more attention now, like the Ko- Crying Nut, it’s not like they were The first YouTube video he at UC Santa Barbara as part of their rean punks didn’t care about them great innovators, but they don’t watched: K-pop week, so most of the people wearing Misfits patches, but a lot sound like anyone else. You can Epstein: You know, the very first in the audience were K-pop fans. of the K-pop bands now are taking argue about whether to call it punk video I ever saw on Youtube... Broke: Oh boy, how did that go? photo ops with anarchist symbols. or not, but it’s definitely high en- Broke: Spiky Brats, “Together Epstein: There are a lot of K-pop I think a couple at least, or maybe ergy. Moshing?” fans who are critical of aspects of it’s the same band—they all look Broke: I have no problem calling it Epstein: Nope, Shorty Cat. the K-pop scene. And I feel like the same—they’ll just dress kind punk. maybe they thought the documen- of like punks and then have an an- Epstein: It is not like anybody else On making documentaries: tary was really mocking K-pop. archist symbol. Now that is getting that I can think of. They’ve been Epstein: In 2000 you had to have And they recognised the issue of awfully contradictory there. around for a while and they’ve had access to some pretty good com- large corporations and so on. Epstein: Yeah yeah yeah yeah, all sorts of different songs. puter equipment to do digital edit- that’s true. ing. Now, 2015, my nine-year-old We discuss the merits of K-pop: Broke: I mean if it was a punk band What punk has to contend with here: daughter could put together a doc- Broke: It’s always weird to me using an anarchist symbol, they Epstein: I would say that the umentary. when we get people who say “I like could have trouble. scene, in the last few years, a major punk in Korea and also K-pop!” That’s my issue, BigBang dresses thing that it has to contend with or What makes a great documentary: Epstein: Look, I’m not going to up in punk uniforms, and every- take advantage of, differently from Epstein: What the really great doc- say that I’m somebody who likes one’s “Oh they’re so dreamy!” And let’s say Indonesia’s scene, is K- umentaries do, they put you within K-pop by any means, but I’m not then you’ve got, say, Spiky Brats pop. So you’ve got people outside a time and place. You stick with the band, and you One day after practice, [Trash] Oh man, that’s tough. You share “Oh yes! I love you too, 17 guys figure out how to do alternating looks at you with wide eyes. “I love her feelings, but this is a murder in- [Trash]!” Go to page 18 male/female vocals. Things are go- you and want to make music with vestigation and you are undercover, “No thanks, I’d rather keep it pro- ing well, really well. you for the rest of time!” so how do you answer? fessional.” Go to page 16 Fun with Colouring! Hey adults! Get out your crayons because it’s time to do some colouring!

All illustrations by Paul Odds

Masked seonbi pirate watches riot police from a rooftop

Cute kitty demolishes Galaxy Young Apartments

18 You and [Trash] fall in love Life seems great, and you write “Agh, I hate this!” she exclaims, did everyone always think that Jeff and get married. You have a dry a whole bunch of new punk songs throwing your notes to the ground. is ...Whatever That Means? Now I’m wedding, because her parents don’t about finding yourself and living the “You don’t like my songs?” you ask. going to do to you what I did to him!” allow there to be any alcohol other live you want in this situation. You “No, they’re just like my last hus- Then she kills the hell out of you. than what your guests can steal from show [Trash] some of the songs band’s!” she shouts at you. “Always the poorly locked coolers. you’ve written. writing songs better than me! Why THE END Christians march at Gay Pride 2015

Badass Bomi gives Jeff his free Broke in Korea tattoo

Badass Bomi prepares her tattooing sedatives? Oh well, she knows best. Bomi, and suddenly your whole body as you feel yourself being torn 19 equipment. “So you want another Jeff “Yeah, I saw it written some- goes numb. apart. Sucks tattoo?” she asks as she be- where,” you say as the sedative Bomi uses her tattoo needle to So that’s why she’s badass. gins to administer the sedative to you. takes effect. slice off your limbs one by one, and Wait, do tattoo artists give people “Not another fucking one,” says all you can do is sit there paralysed THE END Jinyong from Christfuck stamps on a Bible

20 “Oh, you support the punk great for helping you blend in at run a tattoo shop and spend all this ache all over your arms, chest, and scene?” Bomi asks you. shows. time with strange men,” says Bomi. neck where you got new tattoos. “Sure I do,” you say. “Punk is the “I wish I could show disobedience “Which is strange since he named What now? only way to show disobedience to to the authorities—my husband,” my business, supports me, and en- the carefully managed authorities sighs Bomi as she works. courages his friends to get tattoos I’m going to go after her husband. that hold our society together.” “Oh really?” you ask. “Marital from me.” Go to page 23 She sets up and begins giving you troubles?” “He sounds like a total scuzzbag.” Now that I’m properly tattooed, I’m tattoos of punk bands. This’ll be “My husband doesn’t like that I Soon the tattoo is done, and you going to a punk show. Go to page 33 Korea’s 11 Most Haunted Places Jon Twitch plex opened, they began haunting To start, there’s no such thing as the new housing. However due to ghosts, despite the fact that half the increased number of apartment of Discovery’s schedule is shows units, the ghosts are further diluted about ghost-hunters who fail at and have not had much of an effect the one thing they were supposed on current residents’ lives. Also, to do. There’s increasing interest the ghosts are quite comfortable in ghosts in Korea, despite the fact in their new modern surround- that I can attest there are no ghosts ings. Ghosts in nearby Ahyeon- here, or at least if there are, they dong have considered moving in, don’t interact with our physical but the Gongdeok spirits insist that plane in any meaningful way. And since this was originally their spot, people certainly don’t go hang out they have unique rights to haunt it in abandoned mental hospitals after regardless of what buildings are they die -- I mean if you can move there. through walls, why stay there? With that in mind, here are some Seodaemun Prison, noteworthy haunted places across the country. Seoul In 1978, amateur mountain- Mailbox in Sinsa-dong climber Ko Yon-joo had a bad fall while hiking Ansan Mountain, and Several years ago, someone her cold body was recovered from shoved a half-eaten sandwich from the mountainside the next day by Isaac into the slot of this mailbox. rescue services. Of course, souls The postal worker responsible for elevator shaft is where the spirits feed it, and he is thinking about up- like all matter are affected by grav- this area refused to touch it, and it of all handicapped people now pass grading to a new machine anyway, ity, but less constrained by friction. ended up at the bottom under all through to enter the afterlife. Un- but his parents say not until after Her body remained on the hillside letters, eventually blackening and like regular people, it is believed he takes the university entrance but her soul tumbled downhill into remaining there until a new mail- by the world’s top metaphysicists exam and gets into at least a SKY the modern-day Seodaemun Prison box was installed. Now, the new that the disabled are reincarnated, university. Oh, and don’t cry for complex, which she continues to mailbox is haunted by the ghost hence why a popular wheelchair Sarang: she was resurrected into a haunt to this day, wailing about not of that sandwich. Unfortunately, brand in Korea is called Karma. If rich family and is slated to one day going hiking when rain is forecast. sandwiches aren’t particularly in- you ride this elevator, you may feel inherit a comfortable position at an teractive when they’re alive, so it a shiver run down your back which affiliate of Hanwha has eluded paranormal experts so means another handicapped person Seoul, various loca- far. died. Dongdaemun Baseball tions Stadium In 1801, Hwang Sa-yong was Seoul Culture Station 284 Murdered Wife’s Phone sentenced to death for treason and In late 2007 plans went forward to This remodeling of the origi- For whatever reason, Mr Ahn (44) dismembered. The spirits of his start the Dongdaemun Design Pla- nal Seoul Station has been rife of Taean County murdered his wife various body parts haunt many lo- za, slated for completion in 2010. with ghosts since the day it was and buried her in the mudflats along cations around Seoul, but none of But when the area was surveyed first built in 1900. But actually, its Korea’s west coast. Prior to the then are able to do much more than for redevelopment as DDP, officials ghosts are not the souls of Kore- recovery of her corpse, he tricked twitch on their own. It is rumoured missed a couple important facts. ans or even Japanese imperialists, friends and family into believing that his voice may be heard in the First, the original surviving stretch but rather the spirits of the 147 she was still alive by sending out ground somewhere around Yong- of city wall buried under the site, passengers and 43 crew of the SS text messages and making social san where his head may be buried. including Igansumun. Secondly, of Stella, sank in March 1899 off the media updates. However, after a the two stadiums on the site slated Casquets in the English Channel. couple days, the phone started for demolition, one of them, Dong- Saenamteo, Seoul It is unknown exactly how, but the messaging the police with the lo- daemun Baseball Stadium first built In 1987, the Saenamteo Martyrs’ spirits of the drowned somehow cation of the body, the identity of in 1959, possessed an eternal soul. Shrine was consecrated south of made their way to Korea where the murderer, and final farewells to Construction workers reported Yongsan Railyard. Originally it was they eventually took up residence loved ones. The phone, still inhab- faint scream sounds throughout a site of execution for traitors and in the newly built Seoul Station. ited by the spirit of Mr Ahn’s wife, demolition, and nowadays if you Catholics. Most of the Catholic Although the shipwreck only killed remains in a police warehouse in put your ear to the DDP at the right souls remain, but they keep very 105 of the total 190 on board, all Taean County. It is left uncharged place, you can hear a faint, ethe- quiet for fear of evidence of their survivors are now also dead and because everyone was getting sick real voice singing “Take me out to existence luring believers away their souls have travelled to Seoul of her continuing messages. the ballgame, take me out with the from the Catholic faith. Station to reunite with the fatali- crowd, buy me some odaeng and ties. Seoul Station personnel are Saetbyeol Hanyang tteokbokki, I don’t care if I never well aware of the haunting, but House, Ganghwa-do get back.” don’t pay much attention because 6-danji Apartment On Ganghwa Island, there’s actu- the ghosts mainly mind their own Complex, Anyang ally one house that’s haunted, but business and keep to themselves. Gongdeok Brownstone it’s not by an original resident. The In 2010, two Korean parents be- spirit belongs to Hong Jeong-hee, came addicted to a game called Apartments, Seoul Korea’s first urban explorer who Daejeon elevator shaft Prius, in which they raised a virtual When the area was redeveloped fell through a floor and died slowly In 2010, a man in a wheelchair, baby named Anima. Meanwhile, in 2005, it already had an impres- over the next 18 hours. His body impatiently waiting for an elevator their actual baby, named Sarang, sive history of ghost hauntings was removed but his soul remains, to arrive, rammed the elevator door starved to death. The ghost of Ani- dating back to the early history of forever exploring that one aban- with his wheelchair, falling down ma still inhabits the hard drive of the area when it was first properly doned building. Visitors to the site the shaft and dying. He earned a their computer, now used by their developed in the 1950s follow- during golden hour each day may Darwin Award for this feat, and as 16-year-old nephew Dongho who ing the Korean War. The ghosts hear the click of his camera shut- all Darwin Awards do, it opened up lives in Anyang. The ghost occa- managed to tough it out during the ter. Well, the ghost of his camera, a portal to the afterlife. This par- sionally interferes with computer construction period, and by the anyway. ticular portal at the bottom of the operations and demands that he time the new Brownstone com- You keep your head down and walk Have you been made? Is your cover “Oh yeah?” you reply. or drag him in for questioning into your first punk show, quietly blown? “Move along,” you say, “I’m “Yeah, my band Yuppie Killer is up now? 21 observing everybody around you. not interested in making friends.” next,” he says. “If you feel like talk- But it isn’t long before your at- “Look, I know you’re five-oh,” ing, I’ve got something I want to get I’ll put up with this Yuppie Killer tendance is noticed. says this lanky Canadian. “I have off my chest.” performance. Go to page 24 A tall, lanky Canadian comes over information about the recent murder That’s a pretty good offer. Do you I’m pulling him in for questioning to you. “Hello, friend, how goes it?” of Jeff Moses.” want to sit through this performance, now. Go to page 30 Fun With Terrible Slogans Jon Twitch and I honestly forget now how this “attrACTIVE Seoul.” Essentially, I did my part in lending input to So by the time of publication, at- stage proceeded. “Reaching Out welding the adjectives of “attrac- how this was promoted and talked tention on the new Seoul city slo- Constantly, Resounding Globally” tive” and “active” together in a about. KOM would be referred to as gan will have worn away, but that’s was a clear favourite, so I worked way that seems clever until you scientific, based on principles such the problem with publishing so on suggesting improvements. My realise there’s no meaning behind as the four elements as well as qi. infrequently. And sometimes it’s main problem was with the ad- it. Maybe that Korea is a country Of course, we now know there are good to wait for the headlines to verb “Constantly” which brings no of skin-deep aesthetic, and people a great deal more elements than wander away and then tell all. flavour to it, instead putting a big are active in some way, perhaps four, as also are there more than Throughout the employed stages of empty space right in the middle. being that they’re actively seek- four states of matter. And also, the my life, I’ve been called on to come But it had to stay in to replicate ing gratification in cosmetic fixes. traditional Oriental map of qi chan- up with, edit, or rubber-stamp var- the rhythm of the Korean phrase, Anyway, not so attractive, in the nels throughout the body has abso- ious slogans for touristic or other which I’m told is pretty good. But same way women don’t normally lutely zero basis in any observable purposes. Here is the story about the awkward rhyming of Constantly brag about the amount of makeup anatomical phenomena, not with how three went down. and Globally didn’t work and didn’t they’re wearing or number of times modern medicine, certainly not bring out any deeper meaning. they’ve let a plastic surgeon slice with KOM. I also did my best to ban Reaching Out Constantly, Eventually it was just decided that them up. the term “Western medicine” from Resounding Globally improvements on the original entry I dug in my heels on this one, content about KOM, insisting that weren’t welcome, and it was se- consulting with the other English it is not culturally based even if it Shortly after I started working for lected as is. speakers in the organisation and originates from a particular region, the government, it was our propa- Later, at big meetings, everyone writing a page long letter beseech- and that we should use “evidence- ganda agency’s 40th anniversary would chant the Korean phrase and ing the government not to make this based medicine.” So they probably (started in 1971 shortly after the then expect me to read this awk- mistake. Ultimately they acqui- didn’t like me. signing of the Yushin Constitution ward, uninspiring English slogan. I esced and Korea remained Dynam- Still, they came to me looking for a to provide spin to pro-democracy wasn’t so interested in having this ic for another two or three years (I brand idea they could use to pro- foreign journalists). We had a con- happen again. believe “Imagine Your Seoul” was mote KOM, somethin akin to what test to select a meaningless slogan the ultimate replacement). K-pop did to mass-manufactured for this occasion, and it went down music or K-food did to appetites about how it’s been described in attrACTIVE Seoul around the world. They put a list the city slogan selection process. Ko-Medi in front of me with about five ideas, First, we solicited online for read- One of my coworkers came up to all (or mostly) based on variations ers to submit slogans, and they ei- me and asked me my opinion of the I’d been noticing a bigger push in of Ko-Medi, but basically insisting ther had to be bilingual or it was existing slogan “Dynamic Seoul.” I the government to promote Ko- on Ko- instead of K- followed by preferred. After this was done, I replied that it’s probably the best rean Oriental medicine (KOM), and some form of “Medicine.” I was told was given a big printout with all slogan I’ve ever heard and doubted it frequently got on my nerves. that the organisation that would be the submissions, with other em- I could think up something better. The historic KOM text the Don- using this word already really liked ployees making marks next to the She told me that it was falling out gui Bogam had been placed on it and just wanted me to narrow it entries they preferred; we each of favour because the higher-up UNESCO’s Memory of the World down for them. got to make ten or so selections. powers were concerned that “Dy- Programme, and the government I was quick to point out that this It was already clear some entries namic” sounds too close to “Dyna- pounced on this, seeing it as evi- sounded indistinguishable from were high in popularity, and I tried mite.” I never would have thought dence of the wisdom of the an- “Comedy,” not a word you want to to vote strategically for the least this, and I explained it was unlikely cients. The Korean Medical Asso- be associated with if you’re try- bad ones, but I also selected sev- most other English speakers would ciation (KMA) protested this move, ing to get your alternative medi- eral that had no previous votes, make this connection, the same emphasising that the book should cal beliefs taken seriously. And... based on the merit of their English way we can eat a sandwich without be seen as a historic relic rather they listened. I could kick myself phrase. Man I wish I could remem- picturing sand. than a medical text, also pointing for having not bitten my lip and ber some of them, good and bad. Next, to double down on an in- out that the book contains a reci- told them to go with it, only to be After that, it was narrowed down advisable move, they introduced pe for an invisibility potion among laughed out of the medical and cul- to a smaller list of entries of three, me to the proposed replacement: other bullshit. tural industries. 22 With Hong Gu as your new slices off the tendons in both of your you notice? Jeff isn’t even my latest “So...why?” you ask. drummer and [Trash] at your legs so you can’t run. victim. Haven’t you investigated the “Because drummers get no recog- side, you continue to make great “Why? I don’t understand!” you cry. deaths of the lead singers of Captain nition!” Hong Gu shouts in your face. music. “Oh, I am a serial killer,” Hong Gu Bootbois, Chadburger, and Dokkaebi Then he stabs you a bunch of times. Then one night, after a really good says. “I’ve been in 20 bands, and Assault? Who’s seen any of those show, Hong Gu pulls out a knife and I’ve killed 20 lead singers. Didn’t guys recently?” THE END 13 Words I Made Up

Jon Twitch accent and they’re butthurt about Scrabble all the time. Anyway, la- I’ve created my fair share of new Premature ejacula- immigrants or something), but I re- sagna also easily conforms to this words over my life, many recently member somewhere back in high type of abbreviation, handsome- and many at a much younger age. core school in the mid- late ‘90s (be- ly whittling down to ‘gna, which While I doubt I can no longer take This is the style of music played fore I parted ways with that group should be pronounced like the final credit for many, I am pretty certain by bands whose songs are all of friends present who were there) syllable of the word, as “nya.” I started saying them before they mostly under a minute long. The once really labouring over the I’ll be at the restaurant in five were anywhere else. Some of these first band to do so in Korea that I name and pronouncing it like ‘Mur- minutes, so do me a favour and or- are words I just have in my head, saw was Vicious Nerds, and soon rca to emphasise some point. My der me a ‘gna. and some I’ve used and tried to get after every new hardcore band high school friends scoffed at me others to use. seemed to be doing it. like I had a speech impediment, and Taint shot There are eight bands playing the I buried it until over a decade later A few years ago, an American show but most of them are prema- when I started seeing it pop up on- urban explorer was visiting, and Rebork ture ejacula-core so it will prob- line. I can’t say I invented it, and while we were wandering through You increasingly hear peo- ably still end early. probably it’s been said by millions somewhere, he told me this sto- ple saying “I just threw up in my before it built up the momentum in ry. Once, he was in an old aban- mouth,” which is a weird statement online culture. Jesus vampire doned mental hospital or factory or because every time you throw up, I live in ‘Murica, the greatest Not to refer to all Christians, Je- something with a friend. He set up it’s going in and probably through country in the world. sus vampires are that special breed his camera on his tripod to get a your mouth. When this happens, that try to recruit you into their picture from a particular angle, and you may either only get a bit of church, either through proselytis- K’plunk he saw his friend setting up his own stomach acid in the back of your ing, carrying around doomsaying When I was born, my family had a tripod to capture the exact same throat, or your mouth may fill with placards, or deception. It seems to cat who basically helped raise me picture after he was done. He told vomit, leaving you with the di- have spread beyond me far enough from infancy. But what do you call his friend, “If you take the same lemma of either trying to swallow that I’m probably not responsible, the protruded part of a cat’s face? picture, I’m going to punch you in it again or find an acceptable place but I’ve been using this one since at It’s not a nose because the mouth the taint.” We agreed that the act of to spit it out. Either way, you prob- least 2004, possibly earlier but my juts out with it. It’s not a beak be- poaching someone else’s composi- ably should minimise the number of memory doesn’t go back that far. cause, well, cats aren’t birds, but tion this way should be referred to syllables you use to explain your Sorry I’m late but I was stopped it may have explained why in my hereonafter as a taint shot. situation. It’s a lot easier to say “I by Jesus vampires at the train sta- infancy I nicknamed our cat Beaky. “The photographer won an award just reborked.” tion. So my young mind decided these for his picture, but it was a taint While watching Nancy Grace on bodyparts would be called k’plunks. shot of a picture he saw me shoot CNN, I must’ve reborked at least I never really settled on the spelling first.” three times. Dropping the eh bomb and it looks wrong with an apostro- One of the biggest stereotypes phe. My best guess to the origin is about Canadians is the use of “eh?” Trenditional Shopdumping it’s related to the sound made when at the end of sentences. It’s really Someone who gets into a scene When you have to take a dump, but you open a can of cat food and slide not as common as it’s made out to and immediately develops an elitist there are no freely available public it out into a bowl for a cat to eat be, where I’m from especially (you attitude. I haven’t used this word in washrooms around, you might walk (with its k’plunk, which is vaguely might hear me ending sentences over ten years, but it probably ini- into a restaurant, a cafe, or a store cylinder-shaped). I was surprised with “huh?” a lot though). When tially referred to skinheads. and use their washroom which is on my last visit to my hometown Canadians leave our home country, Darryl thinks he’s working-class, only available for customers or that my whole family still uses the we always have a bit of initial anxi- but he’s just a skinhead who works employees. If you steal from one word, and they seemed to all indi- ety of being mistaken for Ameri- in a coffee shop. He’s so trendi- of these locations it’s called shop- cate it came from me. cans. Some Canadians sew flags tional. lifting, so this act of leaving some- on their backpacks, thing behind is called shopdumping. some wear annoy- It’s shopdumping whether you ask Going downstream ing “I’m from fuck- for permission or just sneak/stroll Back when Roots Time was ing Canada” shirts in, but it’s no longer shopdumping if still open and served Dae- and get kicked out you buy something to soothe your donggang Beer from North of punk shows, and guilty conscience. Korea at 8000 KRW a bottle, some start say- I had to find a bathroom quick, so it wasn’t economical to drink ing “eh” all the I went and shopdumped in the Lot- too many of them. Typically time, even though teria. we’d start with one bottle they never did back of Daedonggang, and then home. So, to drop downgrade to something Jiral lights the eh bomb is to cheaper, like Cass. This was The hazard lights in a motor vehi- say “eh?” to not-so- called “going downstream.” cle are intended to signal an emer- subtly, not-so-clev- Shinji, I need to save money gency stop, such as during engine erly signify you’re so I’m going to go down- failure, when a car is parked at Canadian. stream next. the side of a road in a dangerous He never said position. However, in Korea when “eh?” back in Cana- they are used to signal anything da, but now that he’s Casscade like “I’m in a hurry,” “I don’t in- in Korea he drops This is when everyone at tend to stop at this red light,” or the eh bomb all the the table orders a Cass. So, “I haven’t decided whether to turn time. four people ordering four That cat’s k’plunk is long enough right or left, but I’m turning either Casses is a Casscade. If a Cas- to lick the bottom of the can. of those ways,” they’re known as ‘Murica scade is ordered, the server only jiral lights. has to count the number of people Everyone uses this word now to The bus driver was in a hurry, so ‘gna at the table. represent America at its stereo- he flipped on his jiral lights and ran I’ve never heard anyone refer to Shinji, we’ll have a Casscade typical worst (or because it’s their the red light. pizza as “za” but I use the word in please. You show up at Sungkyunkwan says Morgan. “I could care less what bal speech. What are you gonna do Morgan says. 23 University to question Badass Bo- happens there.” about it, copper?” mi’s husband, Badass Morgan. “Don’t you mean you couldn’t care “I’m going to solve a murder,” you Okay, this guy is definitely guilty. “Hi, I’m here to talk to you about less?” you say. retort. “Did you kill Jeff Moses?” Arresting time. Go to page 30 your wife, your best friend, and the “Don’t ask me, I’m just an English “If you want to know what re- Or, I’ll go check out a punk show Korean punk scene,” you say. professor,” says Morgan. “In fact, ally killed him, go to a punk show and see if I can figure out this mys- “The Korean punk scene sucks,” I just used a comma splice in ver- in Hongdae and see for yourself,” tery. Go to page 21 Say no to Don Junbar Gems Verv created this ridicu- lous Facebook page called Don Junbar Gems where he posts poorly made and confusing memes mock- ing Broke in Korea found- er Jon Twitch along with other random people who are probably celebrities I can’t recognise, through one of his many other ali- ases. Why? No idea really. Are they funny? Not really. Should you check it out? No.

Facebook.com/donjunbargems

You grab a beer and stick After one song the lead singer ad- “My followers, we will have to kill I’ll get out of here and call for 24 around for the next band, Yup- dresses the audience. again!” backup. Go to page 25 (and don’t pie Killer. They take the stage, and “It came to my attention we have a Oh crap, are they onto you? Did cheat by looking at the next page to there’s your inside source in the yuppie here tonight!” he shouts. your informant give you up? What see if it’s an ending! I’ll know.) corner tuning his guitar. They start People in the crowd pull out their should you do? I’ll wait and see what happens. Go up with a belch of sound. knives. to page 33 Local punk zine SALM issue 2 looks outward Jon Twitch on Cafe Saja, upcoming shows list, There haven’t been any zines and what seems like the closest thing here I can name that have lasted to a zine editorial by Lee Dongwoo as long as Broke, probably because of Scumraid. I’d actually like to see other people eventually have better more underground media reporting things to do. SALM is on its second on businesses worthy of support, issue, though I haven’t seen the so this is a good idea, best embod- first. Looking at it shows a world ied in Broke by the former “Jesse’s of possibilities in zine-making, so Choice” awards. The concept of this isn’t so much a good-or-bad listing upcoming shows, however, zine review but an assessment and seems a little unnecessary, as shows a reflection on the medium. are subject to changes, most shows First, it looks more “DIY” than aren’t announced so far in advance, Broke mainly due to its black back- and now most of this section is out- ground and carefully selected typog- dated as I review it. Judging by how raphy, but looking closer I can tell it’s for November and December, I’m it’s entirely digital just like Broke. guessing they plan to print SALM Interior page layout is generally every two months. If that’s the case, competent, less newspapery than then this isn’t as unnecessary as a Broke and more free-flowing, with similar section would be in Broke. As images much less prominent. Text for Dongwoo’s thing, that’s some- dithers between pagewide and two- thing I would’ve liked to see much column, which is fine for A4 folded closer to the front: I know they in- in half, but more regularly using two tend for this to be uncopyrighted, columns would save space, maybe but it isn’t easy to figure out who’s allowing them to fit the entire Dead behind it. That’s why Broke has a Chunks interview on one spread and carefully curated masthead on the allowing larger pictures. inside front cover. Glancing through The front cover is sharp, with SALM, I would guess that Dongwoo a nice logo and a big group photo and Yuying are the primary creators, showing a message of scene soli- but if I’m wrong then that’s some- darity. It’s minimalist and well de- a better approach, I see a perfect to also contribute to Broke. Yong- thing that could be better communi- signed, though they spelled “Ru- symmetry: a foreigner-created zine joon from Banran is interviewed, cated. mah” wrong. The cover sends a looking inward, and a Korean-made primarily about the Texas scene, The zine concludes on the back message of support for Rumah Api, zine reaching outwardly. Both are in an interview apparently con- cover with three ads, contact in- a Malaysian punk venue raided by incomparable and necessary. ducted by himself. Fair enough, I’ve formation, and a “NO COPYWRITE” police this summer. I might look at The zine content is well selected, slipped self-interviews into Broke notice. There’s a cute picture of a the cover and conclude it’s a Ma- with the inside cover continuing on a few times. noisemyulchi (wait, he dog and cat, the dog being the one laysian zine rather than a Korean Rumah Api, followed by a page 3 also contributed to this Broke?!) I’m guessing is Lee Yuying’s named one. Were it covered in Broke, a article on, as far as I can tell, an writes a piece about digging into Soondoongi. message for Rumah Api may have article about urban flight by Seoul Finland’s music scene. The Geeks’ Korea’s music scene still needs most prominently been featured on Dolmangchi’s Yoo Youngsam I wish Kang Yongjoon contributes a piece more publication content, either the back cover, maybe page 3. But I understood better. on right-wing punk music, some- in print or online, so I’m reassured that’s their focus. Hong Gu contributes an interview thing I could always get Verv to do to see SALM. It’s a well-balanced, But anyway, Broke has always with Dead Chunks, which makes but don’t really want to. well-made little publication that I been primarily focused on Ko- me wish he and some of the other Then on the inner back cover hope becomes a steady presence rea, and rather than suggest that’s SALM writers would one day want there’s a short unattributed article in the scene. Bimonthly Bootfuck We live in a time of uncertainty, ensure Saenuri (unless they choose to tional Assembly on Yeouido and see two good causes usually more of a but big deal—when has that not rebrand again) is safe for next year’s similar uncooperative tactics played leftist thing everywhere else in the been the case? general elections and the following out by left-wing politicians. world. American political rhetoric is year’s presidential election. There is a certain immaturity to Caveat: it certainly is possible the overwhelmed by white supremacist Korea is oppressed by this stern left-wing politics in Korea—and NIS has had some influence on this. ideology, capitalised on by Donald authoritarian government with its they have every right to blame Ko- They did after all not too long ago Trump but not invented by him. firm commitment to making previ- rea’s past dictators, the decades of outlaw a political party and lock up Non-state actors in the Middle East ous decades of military dictatorship book bans and thought policing that a few political leaders. Did they use religion to justify conquest and all right. But it’s the left that’s let prevented liberal and socialist ide- even ever have to follow through on terrorism as allied bombs kill the Korea down. als from taking proper root here, in the evidence they claimed to have? innocent around them. In Korea, This is a country that struggled the name of anti-Communism. In my own home country, a fed- the government drifts further and against dictatorship for decades, But at some point, everyone has eral election voted out Canadian further over our heads and out of starting governments that were to admit that there are some things Prime Minister Stephen Harper, an reach, with frequent mass demon- soon toppled by military dictators. in the past beyond their control and act that delivered the Canadian vot- strations maintaining a state of civil And then when they finally democ- move forward. ers’ rejection of the racist rhetoric unrest and police clampdown. ratised, the left was split by two So for this constantly missed op- Harper had been dealing with in or- Meanwhile, in Korea, the left wing major leaders, the recently de- portunity, I target this issue’s Bi- der to hold onto power for the sake once again can’t get its shit together. ceased Kim Young-sam and Kim monthly Bootfuck to Korea’s left of power. It came close to a point Right now the New Politics Alliance for Dae-jung, foreshadowing the left’s wing, so incapable of standing up where Canada would’ve been tak- Democracy (NPAD) opposition party inability to put differences aside and for anything, not even when there’s ing a much more curbside role in is on the verge of collapse as founder do what’s best for the country. a big old evil heritage of police op- this column had the election gone Ahn Cheol-soo squabbles for power I mean, I look at American right- pression and authoritarian gov- the other way. How did that hap- with current leader Moon Jae-in. Hey wing politicians who use filibustering ernment just standing to the side, pen? Because leftist supporters of wait, isn’t Moon the guy who lost the and outright dishonesty to block the waiting for a fight. Meanwhile, the the New Democratic Party mainly last election? Just like back then in Democrats and Obama “at all costs,” right has become the party of mul- swallowed their pride and voted for 2012 when Park Geun-hye was elect- and it sucks because we all disagree ticulturalism and environmental the centrist Liberals. ed, it looks like discord in the left will with them, but then I look at the Na- protection (if only by lip service), Your move, Korea. You back away and head for the bunch of people seize you. “You bloody idiot, we all know who I’ll try to sway the crowd to 25 exit, pulling out your radio to call for “That’s right, I’ve really been an did that!” says a small, skinny, blond my side. Go to page 27 backup. undercover cop this entire time!” Welshman in the crowd. I just want to know the answer to “Hey, we got a narc here!” some- you exclaim. “I’m here to catch the “Kill the outsider!” yells another. this murder mystery, even if it kills one shouts, and suddenly a whole murderer of Jeff Moses!” What are you going to do now? me. Go to page 29 A couple months ago I decided to only the latter ever was printed. I’m glad it did well, but it’s so The guy in charge, Matt, left be- try writing for the punk satire web- It was so heavily edited, only different that I figured I could safe- hind a copy editor job to focus on site, The Hard Times. They’ve been one part of one paragraph remains ly reprint it here without worry. the site full-time, and I’m pretty printing some pretty outrageous in my writing. They also kept my But I doubt I’ll write anything for sure this will lead to something big stuff and their social media pres- reference to our own Clayton of Mr them again, as article submission is for him. When I started they were ence is on par with Juyoung’s drum- Headbutt, removing my reference such a crapshoot. Once you’re in offering a USD 5 honorarium, now ming if she ever discovers meth. to Victor of Things We Say and re- the door, you post headline pitches increased to 10, so good on them To submit, you have to send ten placing the band name “Thingbutt.” in a Facebook group and see if an- for even bothering to care about headline ideas, and one full article. I Basically they removed some of yone bites. This might explain why their contributors. said screw that and came up with 20. my injokes and replaced them with often the headlines are the best For me, I’m glad I got one sub- The article I completed was their own, which is fair enough. I part. There are so many ideas— mission printed, and I’ll continue to drawing blood one to the right. had my own inspirations writing some good, some awful, some in- take part on the fringes. They accepted and also asked me the thing, but others reading it saw comprehensible—that I can’t imag- But anyway, here are the three to write the reunion one. Somehow other things. ine catching their attention again. full articles I wrote for them. Band reunites one last time Lead singer tries, fails to draw blood during live performance

Jon Twitch punk fan Millie Forrester, who’s Jon Twitch looked cool. But it turned out not to Five years ago, local punk band been to all their shows. “They Audiences at a local show last be as simple as he thought. Thingbutt bade farewell with one were only originally together from weekend reacted in disappointment “He really wasn’t trying hard final blowout show, held at Apple- about June to December, and in when Wallow in the Mire frontman enough,” said witness Ian Gray, ton Communityfor Hall fifth on December year their whole in run row maybe played only Shawn Turner attempted to cut his who was one of 32 audience mem- 4, 2010. three shows, counting the farewell forehead to draw blood during a bers paying USD 7 for entry to the “Our set was something like one.” performance. show. “I mean if you want to cut two hours long, and people just As of last year, Thingbutt After about 20 thumps from the yourself, it isn’t that hard. I think kept getting rowdier,” reminisces has played more reunion shows mic on his forehead during their he couldn’t cut himself because he Thingbutt lead guitarist Clay- than they ever had during the signature song “A Sow That is didn’t want it hard enough.” ton O’Brick. “I walked out of that few months they were active. Washed,” Turner seemed to give “It was really pitiful to see,” said show with a black eye and ciga- All four members are still close up, before pulling out a dull old fellow audience member Casey rette burns all over my chest. friends and hang out together Swiss Army knife and sawing ex- Bujaczek. “He clearly felt pain from Somebody broke their arm as frequently. Five years after their cruciatingly at his forehead, trying doing this, if not physical then psy- well, I think.” breakup, nobody can remember to coax blood out for the admirably chological, so I’m satisfied. I got my After such a legendary finish, the original reason they called it patient audience. money’s worth out of this show.” everyone was eager for Thing- quits. Still unable to draw his own The Amateur Musicians’ Medi- butt to reappear on stage once “Thing is, nobody cared much blood, Turner turned to the audi- cal Association (AMMA) cautions more. In November 2011, the about us when we were togeth- ence in desperation. “Has anyone that sharing microphones or other four founding members got back er,” explains Clayton. “Promot- got anything sharper?” he asked cutting implements among musi- together for a one-time reunion ers wouldn’t book us, and when between songs. cians trying to draw blood theat- show at Pinevale Community Hall. we had shows, we were the Keys, a pair of scissors, even rically on stage could lead to the The show kept going until the po- openers and nobody came. It toothpicks were offered. The band spread of many diseases, including lice showed up to shut it down, wasn’t until we started doing re- took a break as Turner attempted hepatitis, tetanus, and Jeff Clayton and punk promoters have been union shows that anybody actu- to break through his thick forehead Syndrome. AMMA director Dr. YG barred from holding shows there ally gave a shit.” skin. Eventually he gave up in frus- Hwang recommends singers use a ever since. This year’s final reunion show tration. sterilized scalpel to slice open your Then, in November 2012, the is scheduled for November 28, at “I’m really disappointed I couldn’t forehead, or smash your head with guys from Thingbutt got together Hamridge Community Hall. put on a better show for my fans,” a beer can rather than a mic for for one more last reunion show, “This one is the final perfor- Turner told The Hard Times re- sanitary purposes. this time held at Salmon Creek mance of Thingbutt,” says lead porters. “This is our bassist Shad’s “We are not aware of the inci- Community Hall. This was followed singer Victor Hargreaves. “I don’t last show before he moves away dent in question,” said a statement by two more final reunion shows in think we’ll have a reunion show for med school, so I wanted to do from the Facebook page of black 2013 and 2014. next year, man. Clayton is get- something special for him.” metal band Dark Daeboreum, the “Thingbutt were, like, the quin- ting pretty crotchety. Also, I think According to Turner, he had seen band Turner was emulating. “To be tessential sloppy drunk punk band we’re running out of community a black metal band do it at a show honest, these days we just use fake of the early 2010s,” says local halls that will rent to us.” the week before, and he thought it blood instead.” Band that sings exclusively about brotherhood, scene unity breaks up, citing irreconcilable differences Jon Twitch the face of death,” told The Hard prescription drug addiction. Other happy domestic life. The social media channels of Times reporters, “It’s just getting members of the band described “Things haven’t been good band Unified Front were abuzz on harder to care about this band. We Hearst as increasingly needy and lately, and we just don’t see eye Monday, after which they fell si- started it when we were still in high hard to sympathize with. to eye anymore,” said drummer lent. school, and all the guys are grow- “It’s fun to sing about unity Adam “Sticks” Uditsky, who has The local band, famous for ing apart.” during good times, but I don’t the name of the band’s sophomore its streetrock anthems including “Fuck all those guys and the see the point of holding on to album, “Lifelong Unity,” tattooed “Scene-wide Solidarity” and “To bitches that control them,” said a project that’s clearly past its across his chest. Uditsky has been Every Last Man,” announced it was guitarist Adam Hearst, whose ag- prime,” said bassist Billy Has- getting into some pretty extremist breaking up and all planned shows gressive chords spoke to the san, best known for his arrest politics lately, according to his ex- were cancelled, citing irreconcili- band’s uncompromising unity on after smashing the car windows bandmates. able differences. their two recorded albums, “Our of a club owner who wouldn’t let The band has cancelled all up- Frontman Joey Hendricks, whose Unity” (2010) and “Lifelong Broth- Unified Front play. Last spring, coming shows. It is unclear if Hearst incendiary vocals led group sin- erhood” (2014). Hearst recently Hassan married his longtime and Uditsky will still perform with galongs like “In your corner to my lost his job at the cement refinery girlfriend, Tina McMurray, and their side project, old school hard- very last breath / Backing you up in and is fighting depression with a the two have settled down into a core band Bond of Blood. 26 You charge in, attempting to “What do we have here, another his face. Is he a leper? Or wait, is he I’ll try to sway the crowd to my separate the crowd from its yuppie?” says a tall foreigner in the wearing a skin mask? side. Go to page 27 sacrificial lamb. crowd, coming toward you. He tries The crowd closes in on you from I’ll go after the lead singer. Was “Back! Everyone get back!” you to grab at you, and you pull back, but all sides. that really a mask? Seems mysteri- shout. you tear away a bit at the skin on What will you do? ous! Go to page 28 More Offensive Band Names Jon Twitch maybe the name starts to float. I particularly potent Chinese char- many levels. Ten issues ago, I rated the top would certainly have considered acters. It may be more accessible ten most offensive Korean band downgrading Suck Stuff and up- to more people here, so this one is b. Konorea names. This original list included, grading Half Brothers. But I’m not as close to a tie as any two names This name just creeps past Christ- with letters added to show where going to second-guess myself. have come in the chart. fuck, with its McGangBanging of the new additions will fit in: So, here are the five new additions to the country name and an STD. A 10. Rusty Belle the list. You can consult the list above to e. DickPunks perfect, four-syllable critique of 9. Fuckers Everywhere get an understanding of where I might These guys are not a punk band, Korea’s pop-nationalism and op- 8. Half Brothers rank them in relation to the old list. which is probably the more offen- portunistic sexualisation of the 7. Samchung sive part of their name. Actually female form at all ages (prior to 6. Suck Stuff g. Sulsa they’re a pretty toothless soft rock motherhood, social role, and every 5. Skasucks Sulsa is a nice obvious one, a band, the epitome of “K-indie” little gesture. g. f. e. word that sounds in English like a branding. So why do they want a 4. Cock Rasher good dip for nachos, but is Korean name like this, that suggests some- a. Rapercussion d. for diarrhoea. Only offensive in a thing way more raunchy? This world music band debuts at 3. Booted Cocks (yes, I know childish way, and while it’s weird the top of the charts for a number they’re Japanese) that they’d name their band after it, d. Shining Cocks of important reasons. Obviously, 2. Brothers of the Hole it’s not all that inappropriate. Also, This band which we’re currently in this is not a reference to rape, but c. their music often stirs my bowels, the process of discovering has a a portmanteau of rap and percus- 1. Christfuck which may be the true reason that great new name. I have to conclude sion, so unlike most of this list, it b. a. Monkey Business closed down. that the only reason a cock would is totally unintentional, yet horrible ever be shining is because it’s glis- (at least stuff can be sucked con- But in the four years since that was f. Durchfall tening in vaginal juices, lube, or sensually). Also, this band is much printed, a number of new offensive Yet another name referencing di- santorum, so that elevates the of- bigger than all the other bands on names have popped up, and I feel arrhoea, this one from German. fensiveness over Cock Rasher and the list, and is likely to be seen like updating the list. I’m not go- Why did Durchfall beat out Sulsa? Booted Cocks. by way more people, elevating its ing to mess with the order of the Because everything sounds filthier potency. As well, it was brought original list, though I’ll remove in German, and the German word is c. Cunttlefish back to my attention recently when Booted Cocks. You could say that more visually descriptive, starting This name is a work of art, par- someone saw them performing at a band name offensiveness may be with onomatopoeia and incorporat- ticularly for how it works in both festival, with their name displayed related to relevance of the band, ing imagery of a waterfall. Mean- languages. Cunttlefish in Eng- on an electronic marquee that which may have declined since the while, the Korean word sounds like lish translates perfectly to 보징어 moved very slowly and only had previous list, or even as we move something you dip your nachos in. in Korean, making a neat play on space for five letters at a time. Il farther away from their last show, Unless, I don’t know, it comes from words that is deeply disgusting on Duce would be proud. Dear Korean Metal Scene, As you know, I am one of the most which had pretty much a very stellar at the now defunct Three Thumbs meant to be our safe haven from it? recognizable figures in the Korean lineup, possibly the best I’ve seen in clashing with the Asia Metal Fes- I love the Korean metal scene, I metal scene, pretty much everyone Korea, featuring greats as Crossbones, tival, which featured power metal feel that the Korean bands are truly knows who I am. I have been at al- Terror Squad, Gotsu Totsu Kotsu, and band Kamelot. That was a hard great, some of you guys can even most every show that I was physi- Mahatma. For these amazing bands, choice for me to make, and if not for shit on the most popular Western cally able to attend since I have first the turnout was pretty pathetic, but in my girlfriend who didn’t want to pay bands. I am also thankful to the Ko- step foot in this country more than 5 this case, I know EXACTLY fucking an expensive cover, I’d have gone to rean metal scene for it has provided years ago. You know that I am also a why it was a small turnout... turned out that. There are more examples, but me with some of the best and most very dedicated fan, I am sometimes there were not one, but TWO OTHER I’d rather not go through all of them. meaningful friendships I can ask for. the one bringing life and energy to shows playing... AT THE SAME EX- I know for a fact though that TONS I can’t even think about a social life the shows, starting pits, etc. ACT FUCKING DAY!!!! Who the FUCK of the Korean metalheads are strug- for me existing had it not been for One thing I notice is that Korea, makes shows that clash with other gling as to which show to go to. First the metal scene here (and for the re- just like anywhere else in the world shows with similar music and expect a off, we can’t split ourselves in half, cord, I refuse to be part of any Eng- doesn’t exactly have a large fan decent turnout? and we definitely CANNOT pay two lish teacher or expat community for base. We tend to be a very small, The fanbase is already small as is, cover charges as well. the sake of being around other ex- tight-knit community. Of course, making overlapping shows, espe- You guys want a better turnout at pats, I might realize we have nothing that being said and considering the cially with full knowledge of other your shows? How about you consider in common beyond our passports). population density of this country, shows happening is just marketing the shows that are already going on, I am making this rant because I want the fanbase just isn’t very large. suicide. It’s not only the Death Party try to see if you can make them not the metal scene to continue existing, I’ve been to a few shows, such as clashing with two other shows.... overlap? The clashes in shows with and clashing shows with an already the Hellride shows or whatever and On November 21st, Method is go- a fanbase that just isn’t big enough is small fanbase is not going to help I’ve seen some pretty decent turn- ing to have its album release party not going to help the scene. Our be- the scene get any better. Sometimes, outs, and even at times the halls with special guests Crash. Now this loved metal scene should be a com- when people are doing wrong, a true were packed. At others, the turnout looks like it will be one hell of a munity, not a competition. friend will tell them bluntly that they was just completely pathetic, and show. However, on this very same I’m sure we’ve had enough com- are doing wrong so that they know and there seems to be more musicians day, we got the Extreme Camp, fea- petition growing up with this educa- so that they can fix it. Korean metal than paying audience members. Of turing Seed and Sahon, the latter of tional system, I see it with my own show promoters, I’m telling you right course, considering the price to rent which is an extremely kickass band eyes where my students must turn now! Be aware of other shows, and out these places, and all other ex- and one that hardly EVER performs into enemies and compete against try to arrange with each other to make penses, there’s probably a deficit as in Seoul. If not for the fact that Sahon one another in order to get a good sure your shows don’t clash. Metal is a a result. almost never plays, my choice would grade, and thus, a good job. I thought community, not a competition! Now, I’m no expert on math, but I be much more difficult as to which the metal scene was an escape from With the loving anger of a friend think I know why some of these shows concert to attend. the bullshit of society. The whole who just wants the best for you, have a shortage of people, and I’ve seen The main problem with this is that competing with each other is defi- Dan Orozco this shortage firsthand when I went to this isn’t exactly a new phenomenom nitely one of the biggest bullshits Owner, Writer, and Founder of the Death Party on September 25th, either. One instance included a show of society, why bring it to what is AsiaMetalhead.com “Everybody!” you yell, trying to A kind-looking Jewish guy whose says the person on the screen. about it, stranger? Can you 27 make time as you think of any word shortness you can’t judge from this “Everyone knows that I am the most keep the dark secret of the Ko- to say next. side of the screen appears. “Every- beloved figure of the Korean punk rean punk scene, that we all plotted But the crowd seizes you before body, don’t kill this protagonist. This scene of all time.” to kill Jeff Moses? Or will you join you can say or do anything more. person may be of use to us.” “So then what must be done of the him?” Suddenly, someone’s phone rings, “What do you mean, o great Bori- intruder?” asks someone else. Well, will you? Punk. and they’re able to put it up on the son?” asks someone in the audience. “That is up to the interloper,” says screen behind the stage. “The universe has been righted,” the big head on the screen. “What THE END ACROSS DOWN 1 Circuit 1 Machu Picchu country Broke Crossword 4 Chiang ___-Shek 2 Cancer song 7 SVR predecessor 3 Next to 10 Korean chicken franchise 4 Cutest Hawaiian island 11 Police warning 5 Cafe Go ___ 12 Alright 6 New slogan for this zine 13 Curves 7 Hired goon 14 Urbex site 8 Crew 15 Man U supporter 9 ROK underwear 16 Nucular country 10 Old enemy of 16 across 18 Arboreal ape 12 Yemeni neighbour 20 ___ Boys and Girls Choir 17 The C in CST 22 Wifey’s opposite 19 Do away with 25 Sexual desire for parent 21 Nine-line poem 28 Big bird 22 Hebrew em 29 Antelope 23 Poehler or Schumer 30 Pirate’s yes 24 One from Arizona, maybe 31 Ancient Greek city 26 Shruggable writer Rand 34 Goes with punk or crime 27 Goes with Juyoung or Perry 36 Nazi symbol 29 Don’t blow these 38 Hump 32 Dallas family 39 ___ Xiangfa 33 UK grandma 43 German city 34 Reggae predecessor 44 Honky-tonker Joe 35 Le Crabe’s other project 46 Goes with hard or new 37 BigBang song (2 words) 47 Boast 38 Birthed 48 Bang Goom ___ 40 Region 49 Diana Rigg’s first name 41 Piss acid 50 US network 42 Iraq weapon 51 Disco ___ 43 UK station 52 Camcorder button 45 ___ it be BROKE IN KOREA TATTOO ONE-TIME OFFER!! Phase 2 So we’ve been offering this free Broke tattoo for longer than I can remember. Amusing enough joke, low likelihood of any- one wanting it. So when Jeff expressed interest, I jumped at the chance and gave him a lot of leeway on the design. Finally when I saw it done, I realised how he had so thoroughly abused my free offer. What he ended up with (see above) was the lovechild of the Descendants’ Milo and Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Frylock, and scrawled right underneath it in tiny lettering was “Broke.” What the hell is that about? So, the original deal still stands, as seen in previous issues. Any official Broke in Korea logo, I will pay up to 50 000 won with con- ditions as previously announced. (I claim no rights to the rest of your body, it has to be somewhere you’ll allow photographed, and Broke reserves the right to use the image in a future issue). But I now extend another special offer: I will pay 10 000 won out of whatever total cost for “Jeff Sucks” tattoos, for the first six people to claim it. Or, if you’re married to Jeff, I will pay up to 20 000 won. Contact Jon Twitch or Badass Bomi to claim your tattoo.

[email protected]

You lunge at the stranger, “Aha!” you exclaim. “You’re under copying what he thought was punk six times?” 28 and his face comes off in your arrest!” fashion, including all my tattoos! He Jeff laughs. “Well no, obviously we hands. “Look, everyone! The idol “For what?” Jeff says. “For the even stole my wallet to try to steal killed him. What are you gonna do you follow is not who you thought murder of myself?” my identity.” about it?” it was!” “For-” You’re dumbstruck. “Well “Well, why didn’t he look like a Well, what will you do about it? The lead singer wipes all the fake for the murder of whoever’s body Korean person?” you ask. skin and makeup away from his face. we have in the morgue!” “Plastic surgery, obviously.” Justice must be served! Go to page It’s Jeff Moses, the murder victim! “What, are you joking?” says Jeff. “So then what, he committed sui- 34 He must have faked his own death. “That was a K-pop idol who was cide?” you ask. “By stabbing himself I’ll keep their secret. Go to page 31 What You Say!?! For this installment of What You Say!?!, I Christine Kwon is a former government Brother Anthony of Taize (AKA 안선재) is called on professionals renowned for their propagandist, having worked for KOCIS as a well-known translator of Korean poetry, work on translating Korean poetry to Eng- a writer and translator from 2011 to 2014. who was awarded an MBE (Member of the lish. Two of them had recently won awards She now works as a freelance translator, Most Excellent Order of the British Empire) for poetry translations, presented by the and recently won a Commendation Award earlier this month with a signed letter from third one. for her part in translating Kim Soom’s Queen Elizabeth II. He came to Korea in Sophie Bowman recently won the Korea “Left-Handed Woman.” We gave her the 1980 on invitation of Cardinal Kim. As well Times Grand Prize for her translation of choice between two Kitsches songs and as serving as president of the RASKB and poems by Jin Eun-young. we gave her the she went with “Social Network Service,” having literally written the book on tradi- lyrics to “좆같은 하루” by Shining Cocks. appropriate for her time at Korea.net. tional Korean tea, he is well known for his translations of Ko Un’s poetry. He’s also Shining Cocks The Veggers translated Ku Sang, Ch’on Sang-Pyong, So 좆같은 하루 Social Network Service Chong-Ju, Kim Su-Yong, Shin Kyong-Nim, Dick of a Day Translation: Christine Kwon Yi Si-Young, Kim Kwang-Kyu, Ynhui Park, Translation: Sophie Bowman and Yi Mun-yol. Now we can add the Veg- 잠이 오지 않는 새벽 나는 너를 생각해 gers to this list. 좆같은 하루살이 끝내고 나면 뜬눈으로 밤 지새워 나는 너를 생각해 When this dick of a day is over 답장이 오지 않는 전화기를 바라보며 The Veggers 지겹고 또 지겨운 내일이온다 누군가 잠 못 자는 날 알아줬으면 해 Waste Youth Boring and tiresome tomorrow comes Translation: Brother Anthony 좆같은 일상이 반복되는구나 Still awake at dawn, I think of you These dick days are just repeating All sleepless night, I think of you 우리는 끝을 향해 Handing over to them 이제는 해가 떳다 자, 시작이다! Staring at my phone—no reply— 하찮은 헛수고는 all the pointless efforts Now the sun is rising, cha, it’s beginning! I can’t sleep, I want someone to know 그들에게 맡겨놓고 heading dead-end-wards, 아무리 애를 써도 노력해봐도 될대로되는건 좆 Waste Youth! we’ll waste youth! 도없는데 소셜 네트워크 서비스 No matter what I do or how hard I try, 오늘 나는 잠들 수 없네 욕망은 Wanting’s it’s always the same, I’m left with fucking Social Network Service 나만의것 all I want nothing I won’t be sleeping tonight 진부한 이야기는 Who needs 될대로 되라지 다덤벼라 랄랄랄라라라라라 나에게 필요없지 stale chat? x2 잠이 오지 않는 새벽 나는 너를 생각해 의미 없는 갈등과 Pointless stress, Whatever’s coming let it, come on, do your 뜬눈으로 밤 지새워 나는 너를 생각해 멍청한 고민들은 idiotic worrying, that’s worst la lal la la lal la la la x 2 답장이 오지 않는 전화기를 바라보며 어리석은 shadows dogging 이제는 내게 남은 것도없는데 (오오) 될대로 되 누군가 잠 못 자는 날 알아줬으면 해 우리를 stupid 라지 다덤벼라 따라오는 그림자 us. There’s nothing left for me now (oh, oh) Still awake at dawn, I think of you 정신 없이 Minds blown, whatever’s coming let it, come on, do your All sleepless night, I think of you 몰아치는 숙취에 plagued worst Staring at my phone—no reply— 허덕이며 by raging hangovers, 더이상 내게 남은 것도없는데 (오오) 될대로 되 can’t sleep, I want someone to know 생각 없이 그들을 we’ll stare at them without 라지 다덤벼라 x2 소셜 네트워크 서비스 바라보네 a thought. There’s nothing left for me no more (oh, 오늘 나는 잠들 수 없네 oh) whatever’s coming let it, come on do 소셜 네트워크 서비스 “Is this what it’s saying?” he your worst x 2 누구 든지 나를 위로해줘 asked after finishing translation. 될대로 되라지 다 덤벼라 Who are they? No idea. Punk?” Whatever’s coming let it, come on, do your Social Network Service worst I won’t be sleeping tonight 될대로 되라지 다 덤벼라! Social Network Service Whatever’s coming let it, come on, do your Won’t anyone ease my mind Thanks to all three for agreeing to partici- worst! pate without really knowing what was in “It took a bit of rereading to try and figure store. This has been a very interesting ex- She did an admirable job with despite out what the metaphor was... like... who ‘you’ periment. Next issue, you’re probably back having some trouble with 좆같은. We is, in relation to SNS,” she reported. “I think I to my lousy translations. would’ve accepted the less literal but more first assumed that it would be very literal, be- contextual “fucking” but the crudity of hers cause I feel (wrongly or not) like lyrics more matches the band’s name. than poetry tend to be literal. With poetry I “Yeah... I don’t get to do too much swear- guess I assume from the outset that there will ing these days in English or Korean so...” be something else going on behind the lan- she admitted to me. guage. The lyrics were pretty straightfor- ward, even after I concluded (my take) that there was maybe a figurative context. But it was fun! Sometimes straightforward language is harder to translate because there’s not a lot of ‘wiggle room’ and it still needs to make sense as a whole.”

“Then who was it?” you ask. “Who did.” The guy taking photos all the time I’ll die upholding the law. Go killed Jeff Moses?” Her husband steps forward. “I did.” steps forward (in case you had pre- to page 34 29 His widow, whose name isn’t per- His Polish guitarist steps forward. viously caught him, how did he es- I’ll keep the secret of for the rest mitted by Facebook, steps forward. “I did.” cape custody?) steps forward. “We of my life. Remember what you have “I did.” His former drummer steps for- all did. What are you gonna do about read here, but share it with nobody His tattoo artist steps forward. “I ward. “I did.” it?” ever MUSIC REVIEWS Le crabe AKA Cancer et Octopoulpe

Three-way split DIY Jon Twitch Octopoulpe was awesome live, but how would that translate to a recorded album? And I wasn’t too into Le crabe seeing him live in AA Studios, but could imagine their music being better recorded. And who is Cancer? Spoiler: cancer is Latin for crab, duh. The album starts with Cancer, some very heavy music I’d say falls somewhere between noise and industrial. I’d have to assume this is at least partly digitally or- chestrated, just by the density of sound effects going into it. There 드링킹소년소녀합창단 are a lot of sounds that embody 우리는 (We Are...) an “aegyo” surface to the vocals ics, the vocals capture the feeling familiar electrical processes— Independent there’s a feisty attitude simmering of longing hinted at by the title. a dot matrix printer in track 2, Kyle Decker below. The songs chosen to be on Guitarist Bondu (the Boy sug- “France Flamme,” and a scooter Drinking Boys and Girls Choir is a the album meld well together, but gested by the band name), takes engine in track 3, “CNCR” (re- band that makes no attempt to hide in certain spots sound a little too lead vocals on the final track, member that one, as it’s a Broke their influences. They are straight- similar. But then, that’s a common “Some Other Day”, which sounds crossword clue!). It’s elevated be- up skatepunk, and if it weren’t for criticism in the genre as whole. So like something that might play over yond just someone fucking around the Korean vocals they could eas- do with that nitpickery what you the end credits of an action car- on a laptop by the texture of the ily be mistaken for something out will. It’s good time music and the toon. The tempo changes are well analogue-based sounds. There are of early ‘90s Southern California. playful tone is consistent. That’s placed and give the track some va- also vocal effects that would prob- Featuring boy vs girl vocals and a what matters. riety. ably make the Nazgul pee their youthful energy with a hint of mel- “Mario” is catchy, fast paced, and The band’s rhythm section also pants. ancholy, they could be compared sets the tone for what the band deserve props for keeping the Switching to Octopoulpe is wel- to Startline. The band has been is all about. It’s cheeky and has a driving pace throughout. Meena come, just plain old-fashioned together for about three years and fun, anything-but-subtle nod to the Bae on bass also provides a great punk rock, math rock, hardcore, finally released the EP indepen- classic video game from which it deal of the vocals. And Kim Myeo- Kracke’n roll. All four tracks are dently earlier this year before go- takes its name. ngJin is just a machine. I’m pretty energetic instrumentals, which ing from a four-piece to a three- “얼마나 더 (How Much Longer?)”, sure it’s harder to find a band in is great, but I would’ve loved to piece (guitarist and vocalist Soyeon the EP’s second track, is probably Daegu this girl doesn’t play drums hear some of the vocal tracks that left the band to go to college). my standout favorite, as it has more in. We Are... is clearly a product of give JP’s performances so much Put simply, the album is fun. The emotional layers. While it maintains love made by people who just want character. I know he’s got a lot of harmonizing female vocals are light the same youthful energy as the to have fun and make music with recorded material to accompany without being timid, and it’s easy other tracks, there’s a melancholy their friends. Which, at the end of his live drumming on stage, but to picture the band smiling as they tone to it as well. And even though the day, is what the best pop-punk maybe it would dilute that to allow sing together. And while it has I don’t understand the Korean lyr- is all about. us to possess recordings of that stuff. Anyway, I shall refer to JP’s judgement. WE ARE FROM FUCKING DAEGU Yep, Le crabe was the high point v/a the festival. I’m assuming the CDs grammar is sucky, I’m unable to of the album for me, with heavily DIY were handed out at all three sets. render judgement. Plastic Kiz con- French-accented rap vocals set Jon Twitch What an impressive show of tribute “Step Into,” which was my to a gritty breakcore backing that This isn’t really gonna be a CD scene pride, that they would pay to least favourite song on their EP just overwhelms with 8-bit video game review, more a review of a particu- print up and distribute these free based off subjective personal tastes sounds in “Blvcktrvck.” Maybe he lar tactic used. samples; this certainly had an ef- (Kyle named it his favourite in his didn’t interest me much live, be- Right at the end of the Plastic Kiz fect on me paying for the full Plas- review last issue). November on cause watching a guy slave over a set at Zandari, one girl who’d been tic Kiz album. Daegu’s scene seems Earth, the third band, I’m not famil- laptop or mixing board or whatever sitting watching them play behind to be the one place in the country iar with, but their genre description in a musical performance is about me suddenly got out and very vig- that’s so imbued with local pride, of “postrock, ambient, shoegaze” as interesting as coming to my of- orously, very pridefully, handed out something that can’t remotely be sums them up well. They should fice and watching me proofread DIY-recorded and -printed mix CDs said for Seoul or any other part of open for Hollow Jan sometime, and articles. But on the album it’s the proudly announcing on the cover, the country, even despite all the find 10 other bands representing the clear highlight based on its vocal “WE ARE FROM FUCKING DAEGU.” instability their scene suffers. other months of the year. engagement alone. Can’t say I’ve It was a special printing for Zandari, The track by Drinking Boys’ and Stuff like this, the thought and heard much French-language rap, using the festival logo, possibly Girls’ Choir, “얼마나 더” is fine mu- attention to detail that goes into and that in itself shouldn’t be a without permission. The CD spot- sic, on par with Plastic Kiz but sung reaching a disinterested local pop- draw, but it works well, right from lighted the three Daegu bands par- in Korean, which works as proof ulation and a detached capital city the initial “Not a Method” with its ticipating, along with details of their that Korean language lyrics sung by scene, genuinely impresses me. oddball vocals. performance times and venues for Koreans are great. At least if their Plus I like free stuff. 30 “You’re under arrest for the it, if it weren’t for you meddling erwise a great guy that no one would Nice work! But you only caught murder of Jeff Moses,” you cops!” shouts your suspect. “It was ever want to kill.” one of the murderers. say, cuffing your suspect. all me! I acted alone, and I alone “Great, thanks,” you say. “This’ll “And I would’ve gotten away with wanted Jeff Moses dead! He is oth- look super on my resume.” The End Animal Anthem Max Reynolds Galaxy Express Walking on Empty I never know where to reach to Bones Will of Fire Warner Music/Love Rock prove their greatness. Jon Twitch I might have to stick with the old Blen_D Company DIY So, latest Galaxy Express re- stuff, because not one of these Jon Twitch Jon Twitch lease. I’m always interested in songs has caught my attention. It’s Being able to actually hear a band At the last Zandari Festival, I more music from them because all not bad, but the energy isn’t recorded is a big thing. I’d never managed to catch Max perform- they’re a great band to share with there, and I couldn’t imagine any had a chance to listen to Animal ing in Bbang and I picked up a CD people overseas, but being main- one of these songs blowing out an Anthem in the comfort of my own from him. It’s from 2013, but being ly familiar with their early years amp. home or read their lyrics, and the the most recent recording on hand complexity presented surprises me. I figured it’s fair game to get to Say Sue Me This has to be one of the wordiest know more about what we can ex- bands in Korea, and the lyrics are pect from him—though by connect- Big Summer Night album. Next, “My Problem” may delivered with feeling and commit- ing with new musicians and mak- Warner Music/Vitamin come across the most middle-of- ment to their message. ing music influenced by coming to Jon Twitch the-road, a slightly more upbeat And of course the actual levels of Korea, the next thing we hear out I didn’t know if this was “punk” and emotionally simple song than the album sound fine, keeping per- of him will likely be very different. enough to pick up, but one look at the rest of the album, but still very fectly up with the intensity of the I’m not sure what to make of this the liner notes, and “Spy on Motor- enjoyable. “Summer Night” uses a vocals, but for the first time in my album, simply due to its unfamili- bike!” and I was like, I was in need drum machine (right?) and an oddly experience allowing them to take arity in the Korean music context of a new theme song anyway. familiar feeling from the summery center stage. this zine is about, and likewise it So anyway, you don’t really need bass, whose sound probably best For proof of the lyrical brilliance took me several listens and a ton of to care who I am or what I like, but embodies the feeling the whole al- of this album, let’s look at some of alcohol before I could think about surf music was the first genre that bum is going for. the lines on track 2, “Empty Page,” how to review this album.Ultimate- I loved. Then there’s “One Question,” one song that is filled with effec- ly it was deemed “Brokeworthy,” a Say Sue Me has surf music and re- which threatens an alleged boy- tive imagery that calls to mind col- dubious honour. verb in its DNA, and from what I hear friend-stealer, promising to kill ours in a particularly effective way. Recorded back in 2013, it was there’s even surfing off Busan so this her, her family, and her pets. Shiv- “So quiet it feels like her tomb.” made entirely outside of Korea and isn’t as bizarre as Man... or Astro- ery. It’s such a beautiful song, “Carves a network of scars to map has a kind of general geographical Man being from Alabama, or my own where she promises such absolute her mistakes.” “The silence falls feeling. I might best liken it to the landlocked home province of Alber- vengeance, that without knowing like snow.” The tears on her pil- Heimlich County Gun Club songs ta’s excellent surf rock scene. But her from all the way on the other low are all that he gives her.” “Her written about life in the US. Ko- that’s mainly confined to the instru- side of the country, I wonder if heart’s an empty page / It doesn’t rea’s scene is notorious (if you ask mental intro and extro tracks, “Fight she’s totally nuts or is there a real speak of me / and I’m a ghost / but the right people) for snubbing out- the Shark” and the aforementioned person this song was written for? at least that page is clean.” sider voices (once again, HCGC), “Spy on Motorbike!” Holy fuck, I’m legitimately scared Another song that stands out for me which seems especially contradic- Between that is four oddly tender now. And does the fact that it’s in is “Drown,” the lyrically shortest but tory considering how many Korean songs, all in English. “Bad Habit” English add in another racial di- also densest, starting with the line bands craft lousy English lyrics. feels somewhere between surf and mension, that she’s cursing off for- “This year burned my face like acid.” I enjoy Max’s music—in particu- shoegaze, with Choi Sumi’s emo- eign women moving in on her terri- Then there’s “Bones,” the title lar, “Midnight Train” is a slow, tionless droning vocals piercing tory? Anyway, I think I’ll stick with track, which builds to a high level quality song I want to hear more through the laid-back mood of the cats for now, rather than women. of intensity and lays out the cen- of. “Draw the Line” has a good an- tral thesis of the band. “We are themic feel to it that’s a little more animals / every last one of us / and The Veggers hooky than your average ...What- our anthems they burn like the sky ever That Means song. Jazz Master for guest musicians, including Cry- at dawn.” Sean says in the song he “The Qui” is a little harder to ap- Mirrorball Music ing Nut’s Kim Insoo (who also pro- won’t lose hope, so I hope this isn’t preciate, full of boasting as Max Jon Twitch duced the album) on “Kimchi Klux a message he’s given up on and he compares himself favourably to I will never shake the habit of Klan” and Jungmin from Look and will continue to carry on in the next whatever famous old-school punks pronouncing their name “더 베저스,” Listen on “Social Network Ser- chapter of his life. you can think of, and although the which gave me a brief moment of vice.” They even have tenor sax- The complexity of parts previ- verse lyrics flow smoothly, the confusion when I tried looking for ist Han Jinho and organist Kwon ously hidden to me (and everyone song has this cocky attitude I don’t their newest album at SHARP Ink. Hyeokjang on the oddball “Rot ‘n else, right?) may be part of why think translates here in Korea that The Veggers have recorded be- Roll” which brings rock and roll Sean feels disappointment in the well. fore, but this album is a step up. It’s back to its lowbrow origins and music scene. He’s poured a lot of Likewise, the last song “We Be- a full 28-song, 40-minute album. beautifully piles on the ooze. As himself into the lyrics of this band, came” seems a little too impressed Songs range from 12 seconds to 2 much as I want to resist holding and I don’t think anyone’s ever said with itself for introducing us to the minutes 59 seconds, coming at you them up to the Kitsches, their song anything about it. I’m not saying cliche of chanting “oi oi!” I’m not fast, with influences ranging from “Yes” which they used to record this recording will change things so sure those songs would reso- the bluesier side of garage at one a music video is high on paral- around, as there are dozens of nate well with Korean listeners, but extreme to hardcore at the other, lels to the latter’s “Fence Sitter” bands out there with English lyrics, I could be totally wrong. with lots of texture in between. -- the Veggers are yelling “Tie!” which to the majority of listeners For the time being, Max comes Three of the four band members while the Kitsches are I’m assum- here may be mistaken for as good across more like a touring musi- contribute their own lyrics to the ing yelling “Die!” and the two vid- as this. But unlocking the poetic cian just visiting Korea without album, with Izno, Soongyu, and eos have some parallels despite lyrical side of this band increases much spiritual connection. He’s Saewoo all putting their own voices wildly different and each creative my appreciation a lot, from an al- been soaking up experiences like a in words (and drummer Pyodon do- approaches. ready high level. sponge since coming to Korea, and ing his thing behind the drums) and This is an album done well at It sucks when a band releases its I’ll be very interested in the music contributing actual vocals, which Mushroom (no surprise there) and first album as its epitaph. I would he produces in the near future as means this album is full of distinct I would not hesitate to recommend be happy if this weren’t the end of his transplantation to the country voices and ideas. this to all fans of garage, rock, and Animal Anthem. takes root. They have a few great choices punk. ACROSS 1 PCB 4 KAI 7 KGB 10 NENE 11 APB 12 OKAY 13 ARCS 14 UER 15 MANC 16 MURICA 18 ORANG 20 DRINKING 22 MATEY 25 OEDIPAL 28 EMU 29 GNU 30 AYE 31 MYCENAE 34 SCENE 36 SWASTIKA 38 BOINK 39 FANZUI 43 BONN 44 ELY 46 CORE 47 BRAG 48 TEO 49 ENID 50 CNN 51 STU 52 REC DOWN 1 PERU 2 CNCR 3 BESIDE 4 KAUAI 5 APE 6 IBROKEU 7 KKANGPAE 8 GANG 9 BYC 10 NAM 12 OMANI 17 CRY 19 RID 21 NONET 22 MEM 23 AMY 24 TUCSONAN 26 AYN 27 LEE 29 GASKETS 32 EWING 33 NAN 34 SKA 35 CANCER 37 IFYOU 38 BORN 40 ZONE 41 URIC 42 IED 43 BBC 45 LET “Alright, your secrets are safe with rifice, your left pinky toe is severed socks and shows you that they too That involves a lot of ritual- 31 me,” you say. with a paper shredder to initiate you have had their toes severed. Painful, istic murders, too, which your “Then...” says Jeff, “welcome to into the Korean punk scene. Appar- but it ensures loyalty to the scene. police training gives you a lot of ex- the punk scene.” ently that’s a thing they do here. Once you’re welcomed in, you’re a pertise in doing. Everyone crowds around to wel- You’re sceptical at first, but every- member for life. You quit the police come you. Then, in a ritualistic sac- one else takes off their shoes and and become a full-time punk. THE END 닭꼬치 (chicken skewers) Miss Mislone clouds. It was right on the verge of never been. But Freddy Mercury’s goes. Apparently he was doing it to snowing. I walked out the main gate voice was so clear and shining. It make money for graduate school, Save, save, save me of the school with the few friends was a familiar voice that I listened and was recently married so he I can’t face this life alone that I just gained, and went down to so much—a few days before my was having some financial diffi- Save me, save me oh... to the road to find some snacks. We last exam in middle school, lying culties. He was a diligent guy who I’m naked and I’m far from home were young 15-year-old girls who on the living room floor with blan- rushed to his dream, yet he didn’t were always hungry and looking kets pulled under my chin, with lose romance of his life—romance Recently I was listening to a song for things to munch, and we were the warmth of floor heating, with of the music he love, romance of by the greatest British band Queen, hungrier after spending hours and some mandarin oranges, when I was his dream, and romance with a lady “Save Me.” I love this band so much hours in a cold classroom—bearing watching the live show of Queen he loved. yet I haven’t listened to them very the boredom from hours of non- from 1991. I felt a bit sorry to watch It was a cold day that I don’t re- thoroughly, so finding this song stop classes that taught us about it since I knew I wasn’t even born at member very much, but it was one brought so much joy and happiness nothing we know, all high-school the time, and thinking how awesome of those few days in my high-school to these days where my life seems level programs. It was a cold day it would be to watch Freddie live. life full of excitement and happi- very hard. After all of the gray and yet I didn’t feel cold at all with the Not living the same era with Freddie ness. I wonder if the vendor guy dark days I could rest myself and excitement of a new town to dis- Mercury and knowing the fact was went to graduate school, or kept feel a bit of emotion through their cover, with new friends, and eve- the brutal truth for this 15-year-old selling those skewers. I wonder songs. I have to admit that they rything new yet old—the build- girl, and no one understood it, be- how his life is going. I wish his life have too many cheesy love songs ings that had stayed the same for cause their ears were muffed with after that was all easy. ‘Cause mine from a boy’s point of view and it years, and the place where every- some stupid K-pop that I hated (I wasn’t very good and I had to go doesn’t excite me too much since one stayed the same with the same still hate it thoroughly). through terrible experiences, yet I I don’t want any kind of romance friends and same teachers. I loved Queen that much. My dad wasn’t knowing at the moment. now. But their songs are just great We walked a few minutes, and was the first person who taught me Listening to Queen in this cold on their own, no matter what they across the street we found a ven- there was a band called Queen. He weather makes me think a lot about say. Freddie Mercury has the soul- dor selling ‘닭꼬치 (chicken skew- didn’t lecture me about the history my time and the people I met in my ful voice that touches every heart. ers)’. I wasn’t much a fan of chick- of rock n’ roll in front of a black- early year of high school. It didn’t This brought me back to a memo- en skewers. First of all I didn’t like board like Jack Black did in his last for the full three years for me ry from when I was 15. It was dur- street foods because I had not had movie School of Rock, but growing since I dropped out in the middle, ing winter, when I was an ‘in-be- many chances to have them. Usu- up as his daughter I naturally had to due to severe depression and hav- tweener’ transitioning from middle ally it is consumed with friends, learn the music he loves, and that ing no friends around me. It was school to high school. At the school after school, on the way home, was the greatest teaching from him right in the middle of my second I went to, they had a special aca- but most of the time I was alone for my whole life so far. It was the year after a semester, when the demic program for soon-to-be- and I couldn’t wait to be home and only common interest between us. trees were blooming late with the freshmen to take courses ahead snuggle myself in bed and shut Most of the time we barely talked heat of summer that had just start- of time and help with 수능(college the doors to the world, for I was to each other, but if we had to, it ed, and it was green around me. I entrance exam). As the whole pur- being harassed and picked on so was about music I guess. He was looked out to at school for one last pose of high school life was aimed much, and I was anxious the whole the one who told me about Fred- time, and it was sunny, green and on 수능, it was a sweet and una- day. Second, they tasted horrible die’s death and AIDS... and I of breezy. Kids were noisy, and the voidable suggestion for all those and weren’t very appealing to the course fell in love with Queen’s boot of my mom’s car was full of who wanted good scores. tongue of a depressed teenager, music since then. my half-arsed high-school life. I The school was located in the and I wasn’t a fan of any kind of So, back to the street vendor, I wasn’t complete and my hard time remote countryside of Hwaseong, meat. Third, there was an urban stayed there and focused on the was just beginning... a suburb of Gyeonggi area, next myth about the chickens used for song. Yep, it was 90% Queen, with I don’t miss those days since it to Suwon. I chose this school for skewers by street vendors—that the clear voice of Freddie Mercury was tough to go through. Whoever I was so harassed and had been they were from pigeons. They are and their rhythmic guitar and pi- asks me and says how much they considered a 왕따 and was get- dirty, known as ‘flying rats of urban ano, the typical Queen sound. Yet miss their time as teenagers, I can’t ting bullied by the whole class, or streets,’ which I never want to in- I wasn’t sure since it was a song stop myself getting mad with the by the whole school, for 3 years. It take, consume, or eat in any way. I didn’t know. I was excited yet urge of punching them in the face. was a huge problem for me and my I didn’t care about it though, since holding my horses, trying to calm It was certainly difficult, but I miss family, and they were all down to I never liked it anyway, but there down. But I had to ask to the ven- the day when I was so excited and the idea of finding me a new ground it was. But my friend suggested I dor guy or I would have died with full of hope and newly found ground to take root and stand on. I went have a stick of it and I was OK with curiosity, so I burst the question— that I trusted and put myself on. I there with a heart full of dreams it. Every friend was having one, so “Hey, is this the song of Queen?” miss the day because it was full of and hope, wishing that I would find why not? It was grilled with thick The vendor guy seemed pretty sur- potential, and it was a place where some nice friends and continue my soybean sauce, and it looked yum- prised. His grey hair and hands with I could just begin—how naive and life as a new person away from my. I asked the vendor guy to put a shiny golden wedding ring, busy pure was I. I just miss myself being the disgrace of my former status. I some sweet cheese spice over it, spreading sauce all over the skew- clean as snow, like the time in front had often wished to be away from when others were getting hot pep- ers, suddenly stopped, and he looked of a vendor being excited by a song everyone that knows me as an out- per spice. I wasn’t good with hot at me. He kept on working again but from my favorite band. sider, so it was exciting for me to foods so it was my usual choice. said, “How do you know Queen at A 2000 won skewer and cold move away. I even put my fringe I don’t remember how it tasted your age? Yes, It’s their song but it’s weather brought me too far back away and revealed my whole face, though, maybe because it’s just for Christmas. It’s been so long since in the day. But that part of the for I didn’t have to care about what average street food. But it was it came out. How do you know the song tells me what I will be like in others said about how I look. I had more than just a 2000 won skewer band by the way? You’re fairly young school, far from home, alone, sad. been wanting to do that for so long from a street in the Korean suburb and I’ve never seen a kid who knows Well, it’s all gone so it’s good now.. but I couldn’t, since kids would pick countryside. It was more than just Queen!” He was excited. I guess... and I wish... It will be on me for changing my hairstyle a chicken skewer I remember, be- We had short conversation about good from now on. (they would have picked on me no cause Queen was playing. the band and I told him I loved matter what I had done, though). For the first time I didn’t believe them ever since I got to know them Save, save, save me In Hwaseong, it was cold and my ears when I heard a song by through my father. I asked him a I can’t face this life alone gloomy. The sky was grey and Queen out of nowhere, in the mid- few questions like why he started Save me, save me oh... very low, full of smooth and dim dle of nowhere, in a town where I’d as vendor and how the business I’m naked and I’m far from home 32 You show up at the band’s Whoa, the guitarist is Polish. “I ‘Peace of Mind (The Communist What do you think, arrest this practice studio to interview was studying,” he says suspicious- Song).’ I hate playing that song! If Polish guy, or go check out a punk the three members. ly. Everything sounds suspicious I ever hear it again, I’ll kill some- show? “Where were you guys on the when said in a Polish accent. one!” night of Moses’ murder?” “You,” you say, narrowing in on He looks like he’s ready to snap. Let’s book this perogi eater. Go “I was working,” says the bassist. him. “Did you and Jeff get along?” And that would be a nice easy way to page 30 The drummer says something in “Of course,” says the Polishman. to end this case, with the arrest of No, that’s racial profiling. I’ll Korean you can’t quite understand. “Except when he made me play a foreigner. check out a show. Go to page 21 shittiest beer ever,” said Char- snow, like watching a porn chan- lie. “No self-respecting skinhead nel you weren’t subscribed to, would drink that piss.” but yes—there was Santa up on “Sure,” I said, “but why Koka- the rooftop, standing over a rap- nee?” idly fading puddle of yellow snow. Charlie grabbed the can from me. I only got a glimpse as he put his “You ever see the Bigfoot on the dick back into his pants, but it must can?” he asked, pointing to a dark have been more than enough to splotch in the mountainscape. scar me, I assure you. “How do you go from bigfoots to He was up at the highest part skinheads?” Darwin asked. of the roof, where the snow was “Yeah, they’re not exactly known starting to pack together but still for their short hair,” I remarked. wasn’t holding on much yet. Eve- Around then, our fifth roommate ry little move sent eddies of snow While going through some old and the forecast called for a week Abdullah ran out of his room and snowballing down over the eave folders looking at my old writ- of heavy snowfall. Already on the interrupted our cold-open ban- and thumping into the deep snow ing, I came across an old project I first day we had about 20 cen- ter. Later on we found out his piling on the front lawn. started back in the days of Inde- timeters and it continued to rage name wasn’t really Abdullah and Then suddenly he slipped and cline (a precursor to Daehanmind- outside. Pretty well every con- he wasn’t who he seemed—not sent an avalanche of snow down ecline). I wanted to collaborate with ceiveable school and employer was a crime on his behalf as we were onto the lawn in front of us, landing an amateur filmmaker and make a saying just to stay home; it looked partly to blame and had failed to with a very meaty “Ho!” escaping TV series about a punk house. Back like everyone would spend the communicate with him during wak- from his chest as he hit the ground. in Edmonton we had a lot of these next week stuck indoors, and that ing hours, but more on that another The sack that he was carrying from the Royal Palace to the House worked for us. Just before the big time. He was half dressed, his tur- landed next to him in the bushes. If of Poor Choices, from the Skin Bin dump started we had a big party, ban wound wildly around his head it weren’t for the snow, he could be to the Sandbar, and reading through and the skinheads left our fridge with tufts of natty black hair stick- really hurt, but even now, that was my old work brought back a lot of stuffed with beers. As for food, ing out. He was in pyjama pants quite a fall. Before our eyes, the memories of a way of living that well, that’s part of a longer, less but had his belt on with his kirpan heavy snowfall began to bury him, just isn’t present here. I wrote a entertaining story. hanging loosely around his legs, so we had no choice but to bring half dozen scripts and plot outlines, A little after 4pm, my three room- like some sort of perversion of a him inside. but moving to Korea ended any mates—Charlie, Vas, and Darwin— Wild West gunslinger. Abdullah and Charlie helped us at hope of this going farther. Also, my ate a whole bag of about 20 grams “Which one of you is walking the door and we got Santa inside, filmmaker collaborator didn’t know of shrooms. I can’t say for sure around on the ceiling?” he de- throwing him down on the near- what a rapscallion was. whether they divided it evenly, manded. est couch. He was barely respon- I know last time I said this issue or who would have a higher dose “Huh?” said Vas, alarmed. “Clear- sive and he smelled like vomit and would have a story about Charlie than the others, but as we sat there ly all of us are accounted for.” urine. becoming a skinhead. Even when I in our living room, I could tell we “Well somebody’s stomping “I’ve had it with you Chris- wrote that I suspected it was going were in for rough times ahead. It around out there,” said Abdullah, tians and this season,” Abdullah to be a lie. Instead, here’s a story was dark outside both due to the “and it certainly isn’t any of my groaned, handing me the cordless where he muses a little on it while approaching winter solstice and friends!” phone. “Anyway, I’m going back to the whole gang goes on a Christ- the heavy snow, and I quietly wait- “It’s snowing heavily,” I pointed my room. Here’s the phone. Call an mas adventure, right in the safety ed for a bomb to go off inside my out. “Surely nobody could be up ambulance.” of their own living room during a roommates’ heads. there right now.” “Wait, who are you calling Chris- blizzard. Also note, since all char- Our living room is stuffed with Abdullah looked at me and that tian?” Darwin challenged as he acters were created several years couches, mainly picked up from beer can in my hand with fiery walked away. “We’re all atheists.” before I met Jeff Moses, the bane curbs and a few from Value Village, eyes. Judging me for wasting my “Hey, I’m Christian!” retorted of this issue, the landlord Moses and climbing around when you’re life drinking? “Somebody is up Charlie. is totally unrelated to him, being sound of mind is hard enough al- there right now!” he insisted. “Yeah? When’s the last time you based more directly off a local pro- ready. How many couches have Well it certainly was easy enough went to church?” Vas asked. moter who was nicknamed Jebus you seen in one place that wasn’t to get on the roof by jumping from “Hey, Jesus is the original punk,” due to his long hair and his genuine a furniture store? We had at least the backyard shed—I’d done that a said Charlie. “The guy hung out good nature. eight crammed in there, with no few times before I moved in per- with prostitutes and pierced his Rapscallion’s Den Chapter 4 legroom between them. And one manently—but it was still -15 out. own skin.” A Very Merry Punk Christmas of the couches—I could never re- Regardless, the five of us went to I started dialling 911, but Charlie Jon Twitch member which—rocked like a the front door, and Vas and Dar- stopped me. I know last time I said this issue rocking chair, so that was like a win were the first to get suited up “Wait!” he exclaimed. “What if would have a story about Charlie landmine waiting to go off. in winter boots and coats and go they come and they find out we’re becoming a skinhead. Even when I struggled across the couch gar- outside. The rest of us stayed at on drugs?” I wrote that I knew it was going den to get a beer from the fridge. the door watching as they tromped “A guy could die!” Darwin shout- to be a lie. Instead, here’s a story The skinheads had left it packed through the knee-deep snow down ed back at him. where he muses a little on it while with Kokanee, a western Canadian to the sidewalk where they could “But he’s Santa!” said Charlie. the whole gang goes on a Christ- beer that did the job and came in an look up at the roof. “Santa can’t die...can he?” mas adventure, right in the safety attractive blue-and-white moun- “Yeah, somebody’s up there!” “That’s not Santa,” said Vas. of their own living room during a tain-themed can. Vas reported back to us over the “He’s just some drunk Indian blizzard. Also note, since all char- “Who knew Kokanee was so pop- blowing storm. sleeping it off on our couch.” acters were created several years ular with skinheads?” I remarked, “It’s Santa!” exclaimed Darwin. I dialled 911 and listened to the before I met Jeff Moses, the bane coming back to the couches and Santa? I guessed the shrooms ring. of this issue, the landlord Moses sitting on the end close to the floor were kicking in already if that’s “Hang the fuck up the phone!” is totally unrelated to him, being this time. what he was seeing. Vas exclaimed. “Charlie’s right, based more directly off a local pro- “What sort of beer should skin- “Yes, there is somebody in a San- if they find out we’ve been doing moter who was nicknamed Jebus heads drink?” asked Charlie, draped ta suit on the roof,” Vas added. drugs, they’ll bury us in a hole in due to his long hair and his genuine over the couch next to mine. “What’s he doing up there?” the ground up to our necks!” good nature. “Budw-Oi!-ser!” quipped Vas, Charlie asked from the entryway. “Quiet,” I said, “it’s ringing!” I really don’t like doing any drugs causing Darwin to snort. “It appears he’s taking a leak!” Well it rang. And rang and rang. harder than marijuana or alcohol. So I shook my head in disapproval as Darwin reported, watching what- No answer. Finally, after at least a that means sometimes I was called I opened a can of beer. “You re- ever was happening on the roof. minute, I heard someone pick up. on to babysit the other guys of the ally are surprisingly unfunny when I threw on the quickest available “911?” Just as I was hanging up the Den when they got high. Which can you’re high,” I remarked. shoes (without socks) and pulled phone. still be a fun time because I got to Vas looked at his watch. “I still on a random jacket, hurrying out to The guy in the Santa suit on the mess with their heads. have at least ten minutes to go be- see what they were seeing. couch coughed and hacked, and we This one time, it was December fore they kick in,” he said. It wasn’t easy to see through the all looked at him. “Everybody knows Bud is the “Our own guitarist, Iaiaiain Whyyte, tacks your informant, stabbing him re- This is messed up. What do you do? police handbook! Go to page 26 33 is a yuppie! Get him!” shouts the peatedly and ripping him limb from limb. Fuck that, it’s already too late singer of Yuppie Killer. Whoa, what the fuck!” you shout as I have to rush in right now. It’s for him. I’ll make a tactical retreat The crowd rushes the stage and at- you’re doused in Canadian blood. right there in the first chapter of the and call for backup. Go to page 25 “Are you okay?” Darwin asked, the milk and cookies back to Santa, front steps, I could see two cops “Okay, sure, I’ll do that,” I said, kneeling down next to him. “Do you who washed his mouth out with the standing there. Crap, they’d al- showing the cops out the way they feel pain anywhere?” milk and nibbled on the cookies. ready seen me! came. “Sack,” mumbled the stranger. “Are you really Santa?” Darwin “Guys, cops!” I said in a low As soon as they were gone, I “Huh?” said Darwin. asked him. voice, trying to remain calm. Okay, turned back to my three tripping- “I think he wants a happy ending,” “Of course the fuck I’m Santa,” re- I was the sober one here. I’d only balls roommates. laughed Charlie. torted Santa, aspirating cookie crumbs had two beers all night, and this Santa popped up from within the “Santa’s sack,” said the stranger, all over our already damp carpet. was a punk house, not a car, so I maze of couches, flinging a couch a little less feebly than before. He “Wait,” said Vas, eyes wide. “If was not exceeding any laws. As cushion off himself. “Here I am!” he managed to seat himself upright you’re truly Santa, then you’d know long as the guys could keep it to- exclaimed. which made the sleep- on the couch, though it didn’t look all of our names.” gether, there was nothing wrong walking Abdullah leap back a step. like he would be able to hold that “And whether we’ve been naugh- with hanging out with Santa, even “And who is this in the house of upright position for very long, and ty or nice,” added Charlie. if he was a fake. Santa?” pointed toward the front door. “Okay,” said Santa, starting to re- Still, the guys hid Santa, tucking him “This is our roommate,” said “His sack outside!” said Darwin, gain strength in his voice. He went deeper into the couch maze and cov- Darwin. “He doesn’t drink usually, running to the door, jumping into in a circle, starting with Charlie. ering him up with a blanket. He snort- but once he falls asleep he sleep- a pair of snow boots, and running “You, you’re Fatso. You’ve been ed, possibly having fallen asleep. walks and drinks all our beer.” outside to dig Santa’s sack out of bad because you beat off in your I opened the door to the two cops, “Oh ho-ho!” Santa said, opening the snow. room.” one man and one woman, both up his arms to Abdullah. “Come and Just then, the phone in my hand rang. Charlie fell backwards onto an- dressed in heavy winter weather sit on Santa’s lap for the first time!” I answered instinctively. “Hello?” other couch, flabbergasted. gear. “Yeees?” I said, maybe a lit- Abdullah bounded over and plant- “Hello, is there an emergency?” asked “He’s got your number!” Darwin tle too creepily. ed himself on Santa’s lap. the female voice on the other end. laughed. “Hi, we’ve had reports of suspi- “Oh, fuck!” Santa exclaimed under “No?” I yelped. “You, Glasses,” continued Santa, cious activity in the area,” said the the pressure of Abdullah’s weight. “Well, somebody from this num- pointing at Darwin, “you’re a hate- male cop. “Have you seen anyone “He’s a big one! What would you ber dialled 911,” said the operator. ful little troll. Relax, it just means suspicious around here?” like for Christmas, Mohammedist?” “Well, there isn’t an emergency,” you get only one beer.” “You mean other than my room- Abdullah, incapable of sleep while I retorted and quickly hung up. “Well, that’s good, considering mates?” I laughed, a little too loudly. sleepwalking, just snuggled up in Hopefully they wouldn’t call back, you already barfed in your sack,” “That depends,” said the female Santa’s lap. because that was pretty freaky. said Vas. cop, her voice all business, “are Just then, the patio door opened, Darwin burst back inside, slam- “And you, High-Hair,” said Santa, your friends suspicious?” and our landlord Moses bounded ming the screen door behind him. jabbing a finger at Vas, “there’s a “Oh yeah,” I said, “I’m always in, followed by a gust of cold air. He had the sack in his hands, a reason you can’t sleep at night.” suspecting them of stealing my “What the fuck were the cops doing deep velvet cloth holding a hefty “Tell me something I don’t know,” food out of the fridge.” here guys?” he yelled. amount of loose items. He brought retorted Vas. “Can we come in?” asked the “Moses?” shouted Santa, reach- it back to our Santa, who pulled “What about me?” I asked. male cop. ing his arm into the barf-filled sack himself upright on the couch with “What’s my name?” The wind was swirling and snow he still had with himself. His hand great effort. Santa raised his hand as if to clout was getting in, so I automatically, emerged with a snubby revolver, “Who are you?” Charlie asked. me. “You, you don’t count,” he said. dumbly stepped aside to let them and fired he off six shots right at “What were you doing on our roof?” “Coal in the stocking.” in. So the cops came in, and had our landlord. “Son, I am thy lord, Santa,” re- “Yeah, Emo Owen,” laughed Darwin. a look around our house from the Abdullah, who was still sitting plied the stranger, fishing through “Yeah, Emo Owen,” repeated San- foyer. partially on Santa’s lap, whipped his sack as he almost keeled over ta, or at least a slurred version of it. “Don’t track snow inside!” Vas out his kirpan, knocking the gun out and disappeared inside it. “And I This Santa was kind of a dick, I shouted from the couch maze of his hand and clubbing him on the come bearing gifts.” thought. And also, as Vas pointed where they were still hiding Santa. head with it. Santa pulled out a six-pack and out before, he just seemed to be a “Whoa, that’s a lot of couches,” I leapt in and grabbed Santa’s gun, broke off a beer for each of us. It Native guy dressed up in a Santa remarked the male cop. which was already surprisingly hot, was TNT beer, so about the worst- suit no some reason. “Is there anybody else in this and forced it upwards to the ceil- quality beer you could find in town, “So is there somewhere we can house?” asked the female cop. ing. I felt like I was a superhero at but at least it was free. We accept- help you get to?” I asked, not really “No, just the four of us,” I an- the time I was doing it, but was lat- ed the beers in awe of this strange, wanting this character spending the swered guiltily. Why was I such a er told by the time I got my hands dark-skinned Santa who’d fallen night under our roof tonight. terrible liar. on it that it was out of bullets. from our roof. “Santa’s looking for Moses, kids,” Suddenly, Abdullah came into the “Whoa,” said Charlie. “Did Santa The five of us, including Santa, he answered, spitting to try to get kitchen. His turban was on better, just try to kill our landlord?” All opened our beers and slammed some of the hairs from his fake and his belt was tightened, with his of my three conscious roommates them. When he finished, Santa beard out of his mouth. kirpan still hanging at his side. were dumbfounded. grabbed has sack and violently “Wow, who would’ve guessed “Sir, put your hands where I can “You idiots,” said Moses. “This retched into it. So...no more free in our living room,” said Charlie, see them,” said the female cop, isn’t the real Santa. This is just a beers from Santa, no thanks. “we’d have one Biblical character eyeing his weapon. hitman named Spiff who was sent Charlie hurried to the sink and looking for another.” “Oh, that’s just Abdullah,” I said. to kill me.” brought Santa back a glass of water. “You dumbass, Charlie,” retorted Abdullah went to the fridge and A few moments later, those same “What is this shit?” said Santa, his Darwin, “Moses isn’t in the Bible.” opened the door. This tensed the cops returned, having heard the voice still raspy with the stomach “We’re all in the Bible,” said Vas. two cops up. gunshots through the storm, and acids in his throat. “This is a Bible passage right now.” “He’s just our roommate,” I ex- placed Santa under arrest. “Well, what can we get you?” “Yeah?” said Charlie. “Which plained. After they hauled him away, Ab- Darwin asked, but Santa was book?” “He sleepwalks,” said Charlie dullah started to come out of it zonked out. Santa reached into his sack, fall- from the couch fort. “Don’t disturb where he sat on the couch. “What “He’s Santa,” I said. “Bring him ing forward into it, and when he him or he’ll kill you.” just happened, guys?” he asked, milk and cookies.” managed to come up again with Abdullah grabbed a beer out of looking down at his unsheathed Charlie hurried to the kitchen and our help, there were chunks of barf the fridge and the cops immedi- kirpan in his hand. poured Santa a glass of milk. in the trim of his Santa hat and all ately relaxed. “Nothing to worry about, Abdullah,” “I think Owen has cookies his over his fake white beard. “He obviously won’t kill you,” I I said. “You just saved Christmas!” mom made for him,” said Vas. “The Book of Revulsion,” I re- explained to the cops. Abdullah looked at me blankly “What? No, those are not for marked. “Well if you see anything suspi- for a minute. “Who the hell is Ab- him,” I retorted. Just then, the doorbell rang. I, the cious, call 911,” said the male cop. dullah?” he asked. “Fuck, I need a “Bottom shelf, in a little cookie most sober one, bounded out of “They may take a little longer to beer.” tin,” said Darwin. the couch maze to the front door. answer, but they’ll answer every Next time: Charlie totally be- Charlie fetched them and brought Through the glass, right on our call.” comes a skinhead! 34 “I’d rather die than let you your method of execution!” Jeff shrugs. “Alright, bring on the It takes 84 hours before your get away with murder!” you “Hmm,” you muse. Something re- meat and booze!” liver finally shudders and gives shout. ally merciful and quick, like a bullet Tables are rolled out and you sit up, and another 12 hours of un- Everyone looks at each other and to the head? Or how about some- down to your last meal. They ex- consciousness before you fade to nods in agreement. thing really memorable, like death pect you to keep drinking until you oblivion. But it was the best four “I’m kind of glad you made this by catapult? No wait...you’ve got it! die, and they’re all intent on drink- days of your life! choice, because we really do enjoy “How about...death by alcohol ing a lot with you and cooking up killing people,” says Jeff. “Name poisoning?” some great barbecue meat. THE END Masks were a big thing at the December 5 rally downtown, following President Park’s claim that terrorists could use masks to hide their identity while carrying out attacks in large crowds, and the police pledge to crack down on masked protesters. Art renegade Yangbantal (see Broke 11 for an interview) shares some pictures of his adventures. Gaze on, appreciate, find him on Instagram, and now you can turn over this page or cut it out and use it as your own personal mask. Let’s see Maximum Rock and Roll do that!