DIOGENES BOOK 6 : 20 Silver drachm, fourth century BC. Left (obverse): head of nymph. Right (reverse): eagle riding on the back of a dolphin, IKEO (magistrate’s name) below wing, IN (Sinope) below dolphin. DIOGENES Diogenes of Sinope was the son of Hicesias, a banker. 20 Diocles says that Diogenes went into exile when his father, who was in charge of the public treasury, restamped the coinage.29 Eubulides,30 however, in On Diogenes says that Diogenes did this himself and went into exile along with his father. But what is more to the point, Diogenes himself, in his Por- dalus,31 admits that he restamped the coinage. Some say that when he became a magistrate he was urged to do this by his clerks, and that he went to Delphi, or to the Delian oracle, in the homeland of Apollo,32 and inquired whether he should do what he had been urged to do. But when the god permitted him to change the civic currency,33 Diogenes, misunderstanding, adulterated 29 Each Greek city ran its own mint and issued its own currency, and Hicesias must have been in charge of this operation. !e phrase “restamp the currency” (paracharattein to nomisma) bears a double meaning, explored by Diogenes in what follows. Nomisma can refer not just to coinage, but to social customs, and to “restamp” these can mean to violate custom or innovate in the social sphere. Presumably Hicesias “restamped” in the literal sense, perhaps by mistake. 30 Eubulides of Miletus (". fourth century BC) was a philosopher of the Megarian school and a pupil of Euclides of Megara. He is best known for his philosophical paradoxes. 31 !e title of this work, presumably a dialogue, is typical of Diogenes’ bawdy humor: it derives from a word for "atulence. 32 !e island of Delos in the Aegean was said to be the birthplace of the god Apollo; like Delphi, it was home to an oracle. 33 In the original, Apollo’s phrase politikon nomisma contains a further ambiguity, since politikon can mean “of a (single) city” or “of civic life (generally).” 269 Book6-v8.indd 269 11/16/17 11:19 AM BOOK 6 : 20!24 DIOGENES the actual coinage. When caught he was banished, as some say, though others maintain that he took fright and voluntarily withdrew from the city. 21 Some say that when his father had entrusted him with the coinage Diogenes adulterated it, and that after his father died in prison he "ed and went to Delphi to inquire not whether he should restamp the coinage, but what he should do to become surpassingly famous, and it was then that he received the oracle. On reaching Athens he met Antisthenes.34 And though he was rejected (since Antisthenes did not take pupils), Diogenes prevailed by sheer obstinacy. On one occasion, when Antisthenes menaced him with a sta#, Diogenes of- fered his head and said, “Strike, for you’ll not $nd wood hard enough to keep me away from you, as long as I think you have something to say.” From then on he was Antisthenes’ disciple, and adopted, since he was an exile, a simple life. 22 From watching a mouse running about (as !eophrastus reports in his Megarian dialogue), not seeking a shelter or avoiding the dark or searching for any of the things that are generally thought desirable, Diogenes found a way to manage his plight. He was the $rst, according to some, to double his cloak, since he had to both wear and sleep in it; he carried a knapsack in which he kept his food; and he made use of every place for every purpose: breakfasting, sleeping, and conversing. He used to say, when pointing to the Stoa of Zeus and the Pompeion,35 that the Athenians had provided him with places in which to live. 23 He took to leaning on a sta# after he had grown feeble, and from then on carried it constantly (not in town, but on the road)—that and his knapsack, as we are told by Athenodorus the Athenian magistrate, Polyeuctus the orator, and Lysanias, son of Aeschrio. And when he had sent word to someone to provide him with a little house, and the man delayed, he took as his dwelling the tub36 in the Metröon,37 as he makes clear in his letters. In summer he would roll himself over hot sand, and in winter would embrace snow-covered statues, training himself to bear every sort of hardship. 24 He was also adept at heaping scorn on others. He called the school (scholēn) of Euclides38 “bile” (cholēn), Plato’s discourse (diatribēn) a “waste 34 Diogenes Laertius discusses the life and views of Antisthenes (c. 445–c. 365 BC) at 6.1–19. Diogenes the Cynic was about $fty when Antisthenes died. 35 Two public buildings in Athens. !e Stoa of Zeus was a colonnade at the northwest corner of the agora; the Pompeion, to judge by its name, was a place for the storage of processional gear. 36 A large, earthenware pot originally intended for wine. !anks to Diogenes, it became a sym- bol of the Cynic lifestyle, which was known as zoe pithou, or “the life of the tub.” 37 A temple in Athens dedicated to the mother goddess; it was also used as an archive and a council hall. 38 Euclides of Megara (c. 450–380 BC), a follower of Socrates and founder of the Megarian School. Diogenes discusses his life and views at 2.106–12. 270 Book6-v8.indd 270 11/16/17 11:19 AM DIOGENES BOOK 6 : 24!25 Diogenes and Plato, by Mattia Preti, 1649. of time” (katatribēn), the contests at the Dionysia39 “a spectacle for morons,” and the demagogues “lackeys of the mob.” He used to say that when he saw pilots, physicians, and philosophers at their work he regarded man as the wisest of all animals; but when he observed dream interpreters, prophets, and those who listen to them, or those who are pu#ed up with fame or wealth, he found no creature more foolish than man. He often remarked that to get through life one needed either reason (logon) or a noose (brochon). One day, at a lavish banquet, he noticed Plato eating olives,40 and said, 25 “How is it that you, the philosopher who sailed to Sicily for the sake of these dishes, don’t enjoy them now, when they are set before you?”41 And when Plato 39 A festival held yearly at Athens in honor of the god Dionysus, which included festal proces- sions and performances of tragedy and comedy. 40 Because olives were abundant, they were considered fare for the poor. Diogenes the Cynic jokes about this at 6.50. 41 Plato traveled to Sicily on three occasions in the 360s BC, and lived for a time at the court of the wealthy tyrant Dionysius II (see 3.18–23). Some of his contemporaries believed that he had accepted handouts from Dionysius, as implied here in the quips about olives. 271 Book6-v8.indd 271 11/16/17 11:19 AM BOOK 6 : 25!28 DIOGENES replied, “But, by the gods, Diogenes, even there I lived mainly on olives and things of that sort,” Diogenes said, “!en why did you have to sail to Syracuse? Or didn’t Attica produce olives then?” Favorinus, however, in his Miscellaneous History, attributes the remark to Aristippus.42 And on another occasion, while eating dried $gs, he ran into Plato and said, “Let me share them with you.” And when Plato had accepted and eaten them, Diogenes said, “I said you could share them, not eat them all.” 26 One day, when friends from the court of Dionysius had been invited to Plato’s house, Diogenes, while trampling on his carpets, said, “I trample on Plato’s pomposity,” to which Plato replied, “How much vanity you expose, Diogenes, by not appearing to be vain.” Others relate that Diogenes said, “I trample on Plato’s vanity,” to which Plato replied, “Yes, Diogenes, with an- other form of vanity.” (Sotion, however, in his fourth book, claims that Plato himself said to the Cynic, “You are acting the dog, Diogenes.”43) On one occasion Diogenes asked Plato for wine, and later for some dried $gs. And when Plato sent him an entire jar, Diogenes said, “So if you are asked how much are two and two, do you answer, ‘Twenty’? It seems you neither give what is requested nor answer what is asked.” (!is was his way of mocking Plato’s long-windedness.) 27 When asked where in Greece he saw good men, he said, “Good men nowhere, but good lads in Sparta.”44 On one occasion, when he was speaking about serious matters and no one drew near, he started to babble; and when a number of people gathered round he reproached them for "ocking eagerly to hear nonsense, but dawdling carelessly when the things being discussed were important. He used to say that people exerted themselves to outdo one another when exercising at the gymnasium45 but made no e#ort when it came to strengthening character. And he marveled that the scholars investigated Odysseus’ failings but remained unaware of their own; that the musicians took 28 the trouble to tune their lyres but left their souls in a discordant state; that the mathematicians gazed at the sun and moon but ignored what lay at their feet; that the orators exerted themselves to speak about justice but not to practice it; and that the avaricious, while railing about money, loved it to excess.