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Vol. XIX No. 6 Don't Let The Door Hit Ya On The Tex-Ass November 12,1997 ISSUES Beyond Bubba University EMS and Fire Volunteers Practice Heavy Rescues By Michael Yeh mary responder for fires, vehicular extrication, bondage that comes with spinal immobilization. "I and hazardous materials," said SBVAC President never, ever want to be in a KED in my life," said The Stony Brook Volunteer Ambulance Corps Tim True. Christina Freudenberg, EMT-D of the tight jacket- paid its last respects to an old veteran -- by hack- "We need a new door there anyway," said like protective device. "But everybody was pretty ing it to pieces. Deputy Chief of Operations Jason Hellmann while cool, and they did a very good job." Emergency medical technicians and firefighters surveying the metallic carnage. "Until now, some "I felt that the technicians had control of what who serve the campus community participated in people thought heavy rescue meant a really fat was going on and were taking care of details that a heavy rescue drill at the Setauket Fire EMT named Bubba!" the accident victim would not normally be aware Department's Station 3 on SBVAC participants entered the of," said Kevin Kenny, EMT-Critical Care. Thursday, October 23. This was ambulance to find two other But most importantly, this drill gave the SBVAC the first mutual training event semi-conscious patients in the and Setauket volunteers a chance to see each other between SBVAC and neighbor- back. Since high-speed car acci- in action and to learn how to work together at a ing fire departments. dent victims often have spinal rescue scene. "This is something we don't usually The hubbub of the evening injuries in addition to other com- face as a university ambulance corps, so it was a focused on a rusty old orange plications, the crews had to nice experience," said Penny Youngs, EMT-D. and white ambulance used by immobilize and remove the "I definitely think there was an increase in SBVAC from the early 1970s to patients quickly and carefully. awareness and trust in each other's activities," said 1991. Until recently, it remained "I found a patient with a head Zoltan Antal, Chief of Operations for SBVAC. untouched in the South P-lot injury and an open "There has been some tension in the impound yard. femur fracture, past, so it was nice to work face-to- An accident scene was set up while his arm was face with them." with the ambulance, and fire- stuck in an open Although car accidents are not very fighters practiced cutting off compartment," said common on the campus, emergency the doors using hydraulic tools Jonathan Leon, workers must' be prepared at all commonly called the "jaws of life". The wind- Emergency Medical Technician- times. In September, a midnight shield was carefully sawed off to protect two "vic- Defibrillation (EMT-D). crash involving three cars in front of tims" in the front of the ambulance. In less than an "The biggest problem was commu- Cardozo College left eleven people hour, the vehicle was reduced to an empty shell nication," said Leon. "There were too injured. SBVAC volunteers and and a heap of mutilated parts. many people in the back [of the Setauket firefighters were able to Although the student-run SBVAC is responsible ambulance]." clear the scene in less than an hour. for most emergency medical operations on cam- "It's amazing how many people you can fit in the "We stressed individual skills, teamwork, and pus, Setauket firefighters are occasionally called to back of a vehicle and still get work done," said scene control," said Tim True. "We hope for the remove trapped car accident victims and other Hellmann. "We couldn't find a Volkswagen, so we best and prepare for the worst." scenes requiring specialized rescue equipment. chose an ambulance." "The Setauket fire department serves as the pri- Some patients were not as enthusiastic about the

THE STONY BROOK PRESS AND THE PEACE CENTER PRESENT

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week one: lIYEanxufactw ixng Coynsenrt: N4Toaxn Chornmsky and the MIVasseM edia

One of the most important and influential progressive films of all time, Manufacturing Consent tells the story of scientist/activist/philosopher Noam Chomsky and exposes how mainstream media marginalizes debate and abuses their power. A must see for anyone interested in politics, media and information.

Tuesday, November 18th at 6:30 p.m. Javits 105 FREE

THE SToNY BROOK PRESS PAGE 2 ISSUES UNSUNG HEROES By Chris Sorochin gory reality of war and are designed to seduce the costs of war impressionable into the Lie. b.) To restrain our government from the inter- "...the next great advance in the evolution of civilization Mainstream veterans' organizations are similarly vening, overtly and covertly, in the internal affairs cannot take place until war is abolished." programmed to perpetuate the ideology that any- of other nations one who speaks against war or a foreign policy c.) To end the arms race and reduce and eventu- -Gen. Douglas MacArthur based on force is spitting on those who've taken ally eliminate nuclear weapons and part in such doings in the past. Especially repre- d.) To abolish war as an instrument of interna- What do Philip and Daniel Berrigan, Kurt hensible is the American Legion, which throughout tional policy. Vonnegut, Howard Zinn, Rod Serling, Ron its history has been not merely, or even primarily, a Veterans for Peace was founded in 1985, at the Kovic, Tim O'Briend and Claude Eatherly all veterans' advocacy group, but a tool of reactionary depth of Reagan's covert wars in Central America. have in common? politics. Founded in the "Red Scare" hysteria and There are members in all fifty states and liaisons They are all veterans of US wars, and all later repression that immediately followed WWI, the with similar veterans' organization in seven foreign became pacifists, many actively condemning mili- Legion has been used like a US version of the countries, including Russia. They use their experi- tarism, and some, like the Fascist Black Shirts in ence to educate the public at large about the threat Berrigans, Zinn and Kovic, Europe, intimidating and posed to democracy and real national security by a are spending time in jail. often violently attacking culture of secrecy and a mentality of "Might Makes These were not inactive or leftist groups and labor Right." They advocate peaceful means of resolving unwilling draftees. Philip unions. They helped drive conflicts and seek to end production of weapons of Berrigan (who has just been Charlie Chaplin out of the mass destruction. They can be contacted at: sentenced to two years behind country when he dared 100 Maryland Ave. NE, Suite 106 bars for a disarmament action make an anti-war film Washington, DC 20002 in Maine this past February) (Monsieur Verdoux) in the (202) 488-7225 describes himself as an enthu- dark days of 1947. Their Citizen Soldier is a branch of Alternatives to siastic participant in World Peekskill chapter were Militarism and they're relatively new, having come War II. Zinn was a bomber among the thugs who set into being around issues engendered by the Gulf pilot and his most searing upon and beat the audience War. Like other groups, they're active in pursuing memory is of annhiliating the of a Paul Robeson concert the claims of veterans stricken with war-related ill- French town of Rovan. There during the same era. nesses and penetrating the veil of misinformation was a contingent of German soldiers holed up Most recently, they were part of the censorship of around the use of depleted uranium ammunition there, along with a population of French civilians. the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum when that and mysterious vaccines given to troops sent to The Allied advance had already moved well east- institution planned an exhibition of the Enola Gay make Kuwait safe for super-wealthy oil monarchs. ward and bombing the town was of no strategic that they felt was just a little too irreverent in its Unlike some other groups, Citizen Soldier also value what so ever. Zinn says the purpose of the intimation that the vaporization of two cities full of concerns itself with the devastation and misery mission was to test a new weapon -- "jellied gaso- civilians was something less than an honorable and visited on the people designated as "the enemy." A line" -- which we know today as napalm. The jelly courageous act. I remember hearing one legion- video they coproduced and offer for sale details adheres to the skin and just keeps burning. It was naire on NPR pushing for a fully jingoistic monu- the journey of US veterans back to Vietnam to seek employed in great quantity some years later in ment to the Korean Conflict, which was in many reconciliation and help the Vietnamese rebuild and Kovic and O'Brien's "dirty little war"; Vietnam was ways a dress rehearsal for Vietnam, growling like a to work with them to find cures for the poisons the recipient of 18 tons of chemical defoliant and crazed jackal that a nation must be willing to sacri- both groups were exposed to. Another big part of Citizen Soldier's work is com- more explosives than used by the US in all of fice its youth for freedom. You could almost hear bating the military's multimillion-dollar indoctri- World War II. him drooling over the airwaves at the prospect of nation of youth in ROTC and JROTC programs in A more famous test was conducted on the people feeding fresh-faced recruits into the belly of around the country. They explain how the of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. These two cities, Moloch. I don't know what form of sexual dysfunc- school promise of money, adventure and honor is often along with several others, were purposely spared tion prompted such Wes Craven fantasies, but NPR contrary to fact, especially the fact that inductees "conventional" bombing so they'd be pristine tar- must have been protecting its federal funding by their rights as citizens. (I once of destruction. After the giving him a forum in which to verbalize them. often sign away gets for the new tool worked with a guy who'd been in the Army and he attacks, the cities were closed to journalists and "Sacrifice yourself, you old fart," I muttered. told me about his being disciplined for fighting many survivors were basically kidnapped by the Vietnam brought a massive change. There was with another soldier: he was charged with "dam- occupation forces to be studied. Claude Eatherly huge resistance, even inside the military itself. No aging government property.") They are also active was part of the squadron of the Hiroshima mis- installation was complete without an anti-war in exposing the truth about the sexual harassment, sion. Haunted by the idea of what he'd been a part newsletter and often an anti-war coffeehouse right racism and sadistic behavior they say is fostered by of, he had a mental breakdown and several bouts off base. Returning vets tossed their medals on the the institution itself. They can be reached at: with alcoholism. Part of his recovery was becom- White House lawn and founded Vietnam Veterans 175 Fifth Ave., Suite 2135 ing active in speaking against the nuclear buildup Against The War. Having "served their country" New York, NY 10010 of the 1950s. For this he was the target of a govern- got them little respect from the Establishment's (212) 679-2250 ment smear campaign in which his mental health enforcers and they were arrested and beaten like and drinking were used to discredit him. everyone else. The aftermath of Vietnam also POISON, POISON, EVERYWHERE Veterans' Day used to be called Armistice Day brought an increased awareness of the govern- couple of weeks ago, the benignly named New and celebrated the end of World War I, one of the ment's neglect and outright callousness towards A York State Department of Environmental most bloody and senseless conflicts of this bloody victims of Agent Orange and other physical and Conservation had a big weekend convention right and senseless century. I surmise that the name mental traumas. Many concluded they'd been used here at good old Phony Brook. Part of the agenda was changed for being too pacifistic in the post- and tossed aside as if they were disposable conve- at Danford's Inn in Port Jefferson, WWII permanent war culture, much as the more niences. Ditto for those from the last Call to Glory was a banquet the dinner had to be held elsewhere. A protest truthful designation "Department of War" was jet- in 1991, who are frustrated and enraged by the but of the South Shore community of East tisoned in favor of the more innocuous-sounding government's denials and stonewalling on Persian by residents including many children, had gathered "Department of Defense". Gulf Syndrome. Moriches, of the hotel, all wearing white industrial The usual tone taken in reports of Veterans' Day So as a belated observance, I'd like to spotlight a in front They were demanding that the DEC and Memorial Day celebrations is that war and couple of organizations of veterans and related mouth covers. zoning and health laws against the expan- militarism are good and glorious things to aspire personnel who are working to heal the wounds of enforce of a huge compost dump that is infecting their to and that all the suffering and death they bring past wars and to prevent the outbreak of new ones. sion town with foul odors and spores of the apsergillus are for noble, necessary causes. Virtually nowhere I've met members of Veterans For Peace at many caused asthma attacks and burning do we get any hint that it all may have been a trag- protests, like those against the School of the mold, which among residents. The operators of the facility, ic, preventable waste or that we must work to Americas and the Trident and Seawolf (boo! hiss!) eyes a carting company with organized crime ties (my ensure that these events are not allowed to be submarines. Their statement of purpose has four requested anonymity), have stated that repeated in the future. On the contrary, all the main pillars: informant of the their pomp and splendor and theater camouflage the a.) Toward increasing public awareness proposed in-ves- Iplease see "Heroes, " page 19

NOVEMBER 12,1997 PAGE 3 EDITORIALS IC qlr r I I ' --- I -Ill-s II WELCOME TO ANXIETY 101 Most readers of The Press already know that on an equally long line at the Bursar's, who if the Princeton Review has graced Stony Brook you're lucky, won't tell you to go to the Transcript with the title of "second most unhappy students Office. Sure, students are assigned an undergrad- in the nation." But while other schools have mer- uate advisor, but in my experience, the depart- ited labels of "best professors," or "best value," ment's advisor changes every year and I end up those wacky (but honest) folks at Princeton having to rehash my academic life story every Review have prized Stony Brook as the school time I have a minor question. (Hey, here's a clue: with the most independent student body. Now, don't give an advising position to someone who before you get all proud, and begin to see Stony is up for sabbatical!) Brook in a whole new light, consider the context The point is simple. Stony Brook students work from which they formulated this honor. damn hard for their degrees. Unfortunately, it has USB students are independent because they nothing to do with academics. So, as I approach have no one to depend on but themselves. In this my (hopefully) last semester here, I have come to impersonal concrete jungle of phone registration realize that college has nothing to do with ivy- and shuttle buses, successful students must figure covered classrooms and distinguished alumni. out their entire college careers on their own. College is all about preparation for life, for being Have a problem choosing courses? Don't bother able to handle the unexpected ups and downs of asking for help. The staff in your department, adulthood. USB has achieved this with ease. Academic Advising, and (in relevant cases), the Congratulations, Stony Brook, on educating the Transfer Office will all tell you different things. masses in Anxiety 101. (Or they will all have the same answer: a slight Shirley, you now can leave our hallowed halls shrug of the shoulder and a quick kick out the with pride in your heart, and a sense of accom- door.) Need a copy of your transcript? You'll wait plishment through your being: you have success- for an hour on line at the Registrar, who will tell fully driven thousands of students to drink. you that you're at the wrong counter and to wait Damn, we sure will miss you! LETTER To THE EDITOR To The Editor: friend Tom from upstate, it's not a picture of your First, I'd like to say that I am an avid fan of your friend, it's not a picture of some friend of the paper. But, I do have one question. Press' minister of archives Brian Schneider (as I was reading the comics with a friend, when if that skinny-armed loser had any friends,) and, we noticed that the photo of the guy in Strike no, it's not a picture of Press Executive Editor Force Echo looks exactly like one of our friends. David M. Ewalt. No, Jennifer this is a picture of We showed the paper to him, and he agreed, and me, Matthew Vernon Xavier Willemain. It was was also very flattered. However, the picture taken five years ago, and appears on my high isn't all that clear, so we're not exactly sure if it's school student ID. I selected it because Strike him so...could you send me the name of the per- Force Echo is meant to be humorous, and I son in the photo so we can prove it's him? thought the picture was funny looking (I was Thanks, Jennifer Skorzawski going through a funny looking period back then) and because I wanted to see lots of pictures of me The CartoonistResponds: all over the place. I guess that means yourfriend Hi, I'm Matthew Vernon Xavier Willemain, is funny looking! Ha ha! I guess that means that creator of Strike Force Echo. Funny you should Press Executive Editor David M. Ewalt is funny ask that question. Your friend is the fourth person looking! A ha ha ha ha ha ha! Soon, soon I will to suffer from such ridiculous delusions of rule the world! Join mendax.org [www.men- grandeur as to imagine for a moment that their dax.org]! Read Strike Force Echo! More pictures likeness is worth of appearing in a work by of me! Sing the glories of Matthew Vernon Matthew Vernon Xavier Willemain. No, only Xavier Willemain! one man makes the cut. This is not a picture of my Thanks Jennifer,feel free to write again! JOURNALISMAWArr,.R.DS * RUNNER-UP: BEST ALTERNATIVE PUBLICATION SL B 11 *BEST SENSE OF HUMOR 'ýon. (SECOND CONSECUTIVE YEAR) ...... L.^H--X"'^ -- * HONORABLE MENTION: REPORTING ~ THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 4 - 1 ~~_ ~ -----~-~,~~sP~e~s~,w~ ISSUES NYPIRG and SASU Speak Out on Student Apathy

By Anne Ruggiero and Michael Yeh Jessica Scianna of NYPIRG and Alejandro race is gubernatorial and senatorial. These are Cantagallo of SASU, they talk about the influence people who make decisions that are very SUNY- The constitutional right to vote is an unspeakable students could have if they spent thirty minutes centered, such as SSIG and TAP. We're talking gift that the American people have enjoyed for once a year to exercise a little civil responsibility. financial aid on the state and the federal level. It over two hundred years. It is a privilege that has would be a shame if students couldn't vote on cost thousands of Americans their lives, and hun- Are you satisfied with the voter turnout at the these important issues. dreds of thousands around the world die or waste recent election? Jessica:: Also, there was a large number of stu- away in prisons for the faint hope of one day Alejandro: Not at all. dents who had to be bused to the off-campus achieving the ability to participate actively in their Vivian: I partially blame the type of race it was polling site last year. governments. People around the world cringe this year. People tend not to show up for local under oppressive tyranny of regimes they cannot elections. A lot of the time, they don't think that Do you think that the student population at influence, praying that one day their children town or county legislators have enough effect on Stony Brook is informed? might be able to cast a ballot and control their own the government. Alejandro: No, it's very hard to get informa- destinies. We are born with that privilege. We don't Jessica: Since it was an off-year election, there tion from the Administration here. No matter have to pick up a gun, we don't have to starve our- was also a low voter turnout in other districts on what they tell you, they are not for diversity or selves in protest. We don't have to stare down the Long Island. In an election where more promi- unity. Here's a little known fact: the barrel of a tank. All we have to do is mail in a little nent officials are being elected, there will be a Administration is planning to install a telecom- form and show up to a polling site in the first week larger student turnout, for students feel that teaching system in the new Charles Wang build- of November. Yet less than twenty-five percent of these officials have more influence over educa- ing. You know, one of those video-phone things, the national population actually exercise the right tional policies. so professors in foreign countries can teach at to vote. Alejandro: It's sad, because they are the ones Stony Brook. That means Stony Brook is going to SUNY Stony Brook had its own polling site this who affect our daily lives. start cutting in-house professors so they can sell year. Previously, students were largely discounted their new state-of-the-art system. They piloted from elections because many residents could not Will Stony Brook lose its polling site for the this at SUNY Oneonta and the teachers protested get off campus to polling places. Students at gubernatorialrace next year? it. But nothing's too good for Stony Brook. NYPIRG and citizen interest groups throughout Alejandro: It depends on how the other Jessica: Unfortunately, a lot of people didn't the county were appalled at the lack of representa- polling sites in the area did in comparison to know that the campus polling site was here. tion from the under twenty-five age group, and Stony Brook. If they only have four hundred vot- worked long hours to guarantee us a polling site ers or so, we may be alright. But that's not the Is there any one message that you want to convey to right on campus. For their months of campaigning point. Did you know that out of the national pop- the students here? and hours of hard work, they were rewarded with ulation, only one half is registered to vote? Out of Vivian: You can't expect NYPIRG and SASU just over one hundred and eighty voters. Now that half, another half actually vote. Now we're to do it all. People have to do a little of their own that's time well spent. talking twenty-five percent of Americans. Of that work. By all means, make sure you register to NYPIRG and SASU are on-campus organizations quarter of the population, 1.3% are people of vote early for next year's election!! that advocate student involvement in government color. They just don't use the privilege. Alejandro: Students need a sense of urgency. on all levels and assist students in the voter registra- There are issues out there which affect us in here. tion process. Directors of NYPIRG and SASU have What is the best thing about the on-campus Pay attention! I'd like to leave you with this one expressed their concern at the lack of interest and polling site? quote from an unknown source: "Question apathy. In------an interview_ with Vivian Berrios and --Alejandro: I- Well, for next year'sc-II election, --the------Authority!" --- -- IllsL ~ 3 1 I I ~- · I ,_,,, I -·r I r- - _ -- ---~I I

The 1997 Newsday ) Martin Buskin Journalism Seminar A Free Workshop for Journalists and Non-Journalists Whether or not you are considering a career in journalism, you can Among the topics: gain valuable experience by participating in campus publications, radio and televisiori. Doing so will help you sharpen your information- News Gathering gathering and analytical skills, improve the speed and clarity of your News Direction writing, and improve your ability to communicate in whatever career Broadcasting you pursue. Photography Campus journalism also is a valuable addition to your resume, Alternative Journalism regardless of your intended field. Employers hire applicants who have Sports Reporting gone beyond the basics and who demonstrate a breadth of skills, Desktop for Journalists interests and experience. This three-hour seminar will introduce beginners to the opportuni- ties in journalism at Stony Brook and enhance the abilities of those When: Tuesday, Nov. 25, 6:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. already taking part. Where: Student Activities Center, 3rd floor. You will receive a Newsday I Buskin binder full of essential how-to be a information that will help you get started immediately. I1also will limited to 50, so reserve your space before change. There's Attendance will be point of reference as your interests or responsibilities by calling the English Department at 632-7400 between 9 at no charge. Nov. 19 something for everyone, and it's open to all students a.m. and 3 p.m. weekdays. You will have a chance to talk with professional journalists, a num- ber of them graduates of Stony Brook, who will conduct the individual Refreshments will be provided. sessions. STONY

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By Anne Ruggiero Cantagallo of SASU said that it is very difficult to it organization which provides auxiliary services get information out of the Administration for him- such as laundry, vending, food service, etc. The On Tuesday, November 4, a little over one hun- self, let alone for the average student. The truth is, president, Kevin Kelly, is behind the whole dred and eighty students exercised their right to is that students don't know how to get involved. Aramark and Campus Village fiasco. The FSA is a participate in the local government. Not bad for So here is a brief, compiled list of organizations on perfect choice for determined, reform-minded stu- one of the largest universities in the state. I'm sure campus that are relevant to the intrepid student dents to get involved in, as the student body is that the other twelve thousand or so had a really activist. horribly under-represented. excellent excuse for not showing up to vote. State Organizations Polity president Monique Maylor is tired and Campus Organizations NYPIRG: frustrated. Students and the campus media have Student Polity Association (SPA): As a state committee, NYPIRG is mostly con- been continuously pointing their fingers at prob- All students at Stony Brook are members of the cerned with voter registration, but it also is a vol- lems around campus, expecting her to do some- SPA. It is made up of four elected executive officers unteer organization for homeless shelters, food thing about it, and although it is her job to lobby and representatives from each class. Duties and and blood banks, and environmental action. Its for change, she cannot do it without the visible responsibilities include appointing various com- office is located in the basement of the Student support of the student body. Mike D'Arrigo was mittee members, delegating authority, allocating Union. one of the candidates for Brookhaven Town club funds, designing a student budget, and repre- Student Association of the State Universities Council running in the recent election. A distin- senting the student body to Administration. (SASU): guishing characteristic of D'Arrigo's campaign Polity is important because it has veto power over SASU represents students on the state legislative was the fact that he is a twenty-one year old former the Student Senate, and decides how the Student level. It brings Stony Brook concerns together with Suffolk Community College student. He was the Activity Fee will be allocated. Unfortunately, the grievances from other SUNYs and rallies on college student's great white hope, a chance for SPA Constitution is sketchy at best, full of empty, Albany. It is the students opportunity to be heard our issues and concerns to be vocalized directly to meaningless phrases and loopholes waiting to be by the governor and State legislature. the government, and a monumentous achievement taken advantage of by the Administration. A fur- for students everywhere. The only problem was ther blow is the recent passage of the Sunshine Act, Administration and other people to bitch to that students didn't care. D'Arrigo lost to which permits student governments to withhold President Shirley Strum Kenny: Republican John LaValle by a narrow margin, nar- information from the public. Kenny is a highly intelligent and a savvy busi- row enough that he could have easily won if local Polity Senate: nesswoman, but she makes a shitty SUNY presi- students exercised a little brainpower. The polling The Senate is the most student-accessible forum dent. What continues to slip her mind is that site on campus may very well be conspicuously on campus. Its sessions are debate forums for cam- SUNY is public education--basic, quality acade- absent for next year's gubernatorial race, thanks to pus legislation, and duties include approving the mics minus the frills. That's why it is (or was) the low voter turn out this year. Alejandro Polity budget and deliberating issues. The Senate affordable. Unfortunately, Pataki's influence and Cantagallo and Vivian Berrios, the leaders of SASU is made up of elected representatives from resi- unadultered greed have led Kenny to become the and NYPIRG, respectively, have expressed their dential and commuter colleges, the SPA board Public Relations Queen, schmoozing alumni, disappointment with the apathetic atmosphere on (minus the president), and SASU delegates, and media, and wealthy contractors, anyone who can campus, saying that students do not speak out has the power to overturn the Polity veto. Senate get Stony Brook's name in the news. Students lose enough. sessions are open to the public and are held their voice in University affairs when the school Why is that so? What ever happened to the Wednesdays at 8 p.m. in the Union bi-level. If becomes privatized, their voice sacrificed to socially responsible Stony Brook students of the you're lucky, you might get to see another catfight niceties such as Division I sports and campus retail 1970's and 80's? Instead, we passively watch while between the CSA president and the Polity chair. malls. The sooner Kenny realizes what SUNY Pataki increases our tuition, Kenny privatizes our Polity Judiciary Committee: stands for, the sooner we'll have a competent pres- school, and the FSA steals our lunch money. We Did you commit a petty crime? Got a few out- ident. shrug our shoulders and pass the buck while our standing parking tickets? Sneak a peak at the Vice President of Student Affairs, housing is taken away, and academic departments answers on your physics midterm? Your fate is in Dr. Fred Preston: disappear. We mutter to ourselves in disgust as the hands of the nine appointed judges of the stu- Preston is Shirley's right hand man for chan- commuters are raped by the Traffic office, and as dent judiciary. The committee adjudicates all cases neling manufactured, unrepresented student sup- the faculty are denied tenure. Guess what, kids? tried by Polity, and students are tried by a jury of port of Kenny's privatization schemes to the Albany and the USB Administration have figured their peers. But beware--the Judiciary are appoint- media. Preston has continually disagreed with stu- out by now that they can take advantage of us and ed by Polity. dent groups on campus issues, and has gone so far get away with it. If all we do is slink away from Commuter Student Association (CSA): as to ban all festival seating concerts on campus each blow with our tails between our legs and An elected board of commuter students which because of their so-called dangerous nature. bitch about our problems in some little-read stu- mediate on behalf of the non-residential communi- Vice President for University Affairs: Ceil Cleveland dent newspaper, then you can be damn sure that ty. The CSA has a lot of work to do with very little Provost: Rollin Richmond bureaucrats from here to Fredonia are going to roll organized support. The commuters have proved to Vice President for Facilities and Services/ up their sleeves and plunge their hands a little be the most difficult segment of the population to Affirmative Action Director: Gary Matthews deeper into our pockets. rally, and their apathy is a major cause of the Director of Financial Aid/Student Employment: It's not sheer laziness that prevents reform. extreme abuses laid on them by the University Ana Maria Torres Today's students work harder than ever before, hierarchy. Their office is in the Commuter Lounge Traffic Hearing Officer: Albert Schertzer working to pay extraordinary tuition and school in the SAC. Polity President: Monique Maylor fees. A busy schedule may be part of the problem Student Activities Board: NYPIRG Representative: Vivian Berrios adding to a lack of awareness. But in all honesty, a One of the Polity fluff committees, the SAB pro- 60% tuition hike deserves a bit more attention than motes an atmosphere of cultural, educational, and The list doesn't end here. Just pick up your folding sweaters at the Gap for $5.50 an hour. social advancement. They organize concerts, Faculty/Staff Directory and all the information Possibly our apathy stems from our place in time. speakers, comedians, and host the minority plan- you need should be right at your fingertips. As children of the "me" generation, growing up in ning board. Always demand to speak to the person in charge the 80's allowed us to watch adults attain material (know the name of the director!), don't let secre- success while rarely being held accountable for University Committees taries give you the run around. Find other students their actions. As suburbanites of the wealthiest city SUSB: who have a similar interest to see things changed, in the world, we had little to complain about. As a The University Senate has seats for eleven stu- collect names and numbers and present them to a result, we sure do know how to whine, but have no dents in addition to faculty representatives from Polity representative. By all means, register to vote clue how to protest. The most probable cause of the various academic departments and the administra- early for next year!! Use your brain, do a little lack of participation among Stony Brook students tion. It used to have elected subcommittees for work. And don't take any shit. The student gov- is the simple fact that they have no idea what is issues such as the campus environment and the ernment and administrators are here to serve you, happening on campus. Getting involved in student Traffic Appellate, but they were abolished by and a little education goes a long way. government takes a lot of legwork just to figure out Kenny in favor of appointed task forces. the structure since meeting dates and times are not Faculty Student Association (FSA): always conspicuously posted. Alejandro As part of the evil empire, the FSA is a non-prof-

THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 6 1 4 -Lr - ;~s - h~sl~eR-~rl -----~ -Le - -·b--i~l~l~·sd~s~h~P-CI - ~ ~-_ -q ISSUES

By Terry McLaren The university president's angry retort, reported in an academic conference of educational value." And Newsday, appropriately made at a discussion of free that they did. "Revolting Behavior: The Challenge of Women's speech and modem drama, stated "Billy clubs are not Ryan's decision on the possible dismissal of Sexual Freedom," has sparked a huge controversy used today to prevent free speech, but what still does Bowen will have a great impact throughout the on a state university campus. The unconventional happen on occasion is the intervention of authorities vast SUNY system. The appropriateness of the women's studies program given at SUNY New who seek to curb speech with the argument the content of academic presentations is ordinarily left Paltz last Saturday, has been the focus of criticism speech loses its protection if it up to the discretion of the from many sources this week. It has done a good occurs in public-supported university's president. job of invoking the ire of many people who wield arenas and if its content is However, he or she does power over the SUNY system and its funding. The offensive to the champions of have to answer to the conference, which was attended by over 250 stu- political correctness." Chancellor, the SUNY dents and interested people from off campus, dis- According to Bowen, he Board of Trustees and cussed such eyebrow-raising topics as lesbianism had informed the confer- ultimately to the (oh no!), sadomasochism (gadzooks!) and (clutch ence's organizers that some Governor. These are the the pearls!) sex toys. New Paltz president Roger parts of their presentation people holding the Bowen has been criticized by none other than our were 'offensive and in poor strings to the huge SUNY esteemed Governor, George Pataki, for what was taste." However, he felt that funding purse. Their seen as his "lack of judgement" in allowing this far to cancel the conference or opinions on what is or is from common conference to take place on the some of its workshops, there- not appropriate for a SUNY campus. This followed a university trustee's by giving its critics much sat- campus confeirence and demand for Bowen's dismissal over the "offensive" isfaction, would have been an what is deemed "offen- subject matter of the presentations. unconstitutonal violation or ;eorge " 1. • Governor C Pataki sive nave a great attect Candace de Russy, a SUNY trustee, felt that tax- the presenters' rights. Bowen LGeno jeorge Pataki Ion a university's future payers and parents should be furious by President instead boldly chose to honor the rights of the con- financial well-being. The right to free speech of stu- Bowen's decision to allow the unconventional con- ference coordinators and take a bold stand against dents and educators alike could wind up being ference. this blatant attempt at bureaucratic censorship. sacrificed if what they have to say is not in concor- Said Trustee de Russy in an interview with John Ryan, SUNY Chancellor, is expected to dance with the views of the few, yet empowered. A Newsday: "It is really incumbent upon us to review make a decision on this important issue within a man's position is now at stake because he gave this immediately and and I do recommend that the week. He has promised to balance the rights of the people the freedom to express themselves on his chancellor call for this man's resignation." taxpayer with freedom of individual artistic and campus and not everybody happened to like their Bowen got a chance to defend free speech and intellectual expression. message. Is this what the future holds for SUNY? respond to his critics while attending another of Women's studies coordinator and associate pro- Administrators being dismissed for respecting the the university's "controversial" conferences. This fessor of sociology Susan Lehrer angrily respond- Constitution? Will schools be denied funding one involved, among other things, a play about ed to the conference's critics. In an interview with because of the content of campus presentations? AIDS and a presentation on the artwork of Andy Newsday, she told reporters that her department These answers are yet unknown, but much hangs Warhol and its sexual content. "did not set out to run a carnival. We set out to run in the balance of the Chancellor's decision.

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By Martha Chemas and Joanna Wegielnik The shooting that took place Thursday was not should be totally buried as a demon. I mean he's Cannon's first scrape with the law. just a guy trying to do his job." On Thursday, November 6th, Andre Burgess, a Deputy Marshal Cannon was tried and acquitted Another Senior, Dwayne Fortune, might not senior at Hillcrest High School, walked the streets in 1994 of beating handcuffed prisoner Abiodun agree."My friend Patrick that I went to high school of Queens holding a foil wrapped candy bar. He Okegbenro with a lead filled leather pouch after with, got shot up last week on his stoop because of was shot for it. Okegbenro resisted arrest. He was acquitted mistaken identity... there was a riff and they shot him Burgess, 17 years old and a native of the despite eyewitness testimony from two former dead. The police are very much incompetent, espe- Laurelton, Queens neighborhood in which he was deputy marshals. cially toward the needs of the minority population. shot, was mistaken by Deputy Marshal William Queens District Attorney Richard Brown said the They look to arrest people, rather than help people." Cannon as armed and dangerous. evidence relating to the current case would be sub- Many of those queried had not heard of Burgess's On the Thursday in question, Michael Ricko, an mitted to a Grand Jury for a possible indictment. case directly, but offered their observations agent with Immigration and Burgess's lawyer, nonetheless. "Giuliani has the city locked down" Naturalization services, cruised Richard Godosky, ques- said Jason Vera, referring to the newly reelected Laurelton in an unmarked car tioned whether bias mayor's reputation for shielding brutal cops. with Deputy Marshall Cannon. played a role in the shoot- Nash Stenson, who is currently studying psy- They were serving as backup in ing. Cannon is white and chology, views the problem as global: a federal unit whose task was to both Okegbenro and "I think it's the way they (the police) are trained. find and detain a fugitive in a Burgess are black. From what I understand, they have a technique of narcotics case. On the Stony Brook cam- determining who's the bad guy. And what we need to When the unmarked car pus, reaction to the shoot- look at is the template, the form that the system uses approached 241st street on 138th ing was widely varied. in order to determine who is a criminal and who is avenue, Cannon, who was seat- Frank Fusaro, a senior not a criminal. It's definitely the way they are trained. ed in the front passenger seat, and an English major "No matter what profession people go into, they are spotted Burgess. What hap- offered his view. "Well I'm trained to do a job, and the techniques that are used to pened next is not known. not saying the whole thing teach that person how to do that job is basically how Apparently, Cannon mistook was right, (but) it is a fuck- they are going to apply their trade. If you teach some- the candy bar Burgess had in his ing violent world out there body, this is what the most perfect criminal looks like: hand for a gun and shot the and cops are getting shot he's 17 years old, baggy jeans, baggy shirts, braids in youth with one round from his and killed everywhere. I his hair, well then guess what? That's what a perfect .40 caliber pistol. mean, I could understand why he acted the way he criminal looks like and that is how they respond." Burgess, who played the position of goalie on his did if it looked like a gun to him. He's under pres- Vanessa Marrero, a third year psychology stu- high school soccer team, was shot in the upper left sure, it's a life and death situation there. He was dent, summed up the feelings of many students. "I leg. He was treated at Jamaica Hospital and was wrong and there should be some kind of punish- think racism is the overwhelming issue that leads discharged on Sunday. ment for him for that, but I'm not sure the man to police brutality," she said.

NOVEMBER 12, 1997 PAGE 7 ISSUES rC-~--sc~ ~-e -r-·-~~ ~~p i ~,_ ~ Ig~awaaen~ b·-s L-- Ih--· --C~~ P·IIB--··lll~·(IIIB~b~D1PII~- C-P ~-R---l I ~ CI ~II

By Alex English involve redistributing dollars from the rich to the that immigrants put far much more into the trea- poor. This is why we need a progressive income tax. sury than they take out. The poor are not lazy and The continued existence of poverty in the US The Republican call for regressive sales and flat rate many of them have employment. It is not widely .... v appreciated that working hard at a job is not enough to avoid poverty, i.e. minimum wage jobs do not raise people above the poverty line. The economic opportunities of many people are restricted by the racial and sexual prejudices of others. Those who do not take prejudice seriously or even promote big- cators are promising" and "Confidence is high on LqujLi. -rtLl•L Illany yeatl I UL tLresLen W e sLII Uo InLU otry are partly to blame for the poverty of others. I Wall Street". There is no mention of the fifth of the have cures for many types of cancer, but we are not am not trying to make people feel guilty by saying US population who cannot afford health insurance. going to give up trying. We know that dealing with this. I do want everyone to realize that we are Nothing is said about the 46% of black children who cancer is an important priority for the human race. live below the poverty line. It seems the Washington Therefore, we are willing to commit time, money, establishment does not consider homelessness, labor, thought, blood, sweat and tears to develop unemployment and low wages to be importance new treatments. The elimination of poverty requires economic factors. No one reporting for the New the same commitment and we know that is worth it. York Times or CNN has noticed that a bullish day Politics is presented by the media as a particularly on Wall Street is good news for those who own trashy soap opera which is filled with stories of against poverty. Instead, it is hoped that a package stock, but meaningless to those who do not have power, greed and sex. Members of Congress are of little legislation, charities, small business dona- food to eat. US society is segregated by wealth, portrayed as striving to raise funds for reelection, tions and increased volunteerism will solve all prob- which produces a middle class who are ignorant rather than fighting to end poverty in the United lems. However, private charity has never been suf- about "how the other half live." The Greenspan lie is States. The wealthy supporters of the media want us ficient to solve problems of poverty and unemploy- aimed at stopping wealthier Americans from know- to be cynical about politics. There is no more pow- ment. The leaders of charities have publicly erful weapon in defense of the status quo, than for explained that they cannot compensate for cuts in us to believe that we cannot make a difference. We government social welfare programs. In fact, many can! An important route out of poverty is access to charities will be forced to reduce spending because affordable education. This is why we defend SUNY they get about 30% of their funding from govern- ment. There is no evidence that welfare spending discourages charitable contributions. However, of wealth greatly exceeds the rate of its creation. there are indications that scapegoating the poor for This results in the rich getting richer and the poor their poverty discourages private giving. Indeed, getting poorer. The richest 20% of families have donation to charity has declined in 5 of the last 6 increased their share of the national income to 85%. years. Political action is required to eradicate pover- However, most families have experienced substan- Limbaugh, a talk-radio broadcaster, considers ty and that means voting! The underlying reason for tial decreases in both hourly wages and weekly impoverished single mothers to be "welfare the rise in tuition and fees is that students are not earnings. Yes, a strong economy can give us a bigger queens". He states that immigrants come to the USA voting. Why should politicians value the needs and cake, but the poor are receiving very small slices of just for the unemployment benefits (which are, inci- opinions of non-voters? Your vote is your voice in it. We can all benefit from a strong economy, but not dentally, the lowest in the industrialized world). Mr. society-- use it! without a fight. Poverty cannot be eliminated with- Limbaugh does not want you to know of the strug- LENO: WE CANNOT AFFORD TOERADI out a fairer sharing of the nation's wealth. This does gle of the unemployed to survive and find work or .AT POVERTContinued On Page 17

A Media lale About Three Men and a Mouse By Norman Solomon compensate for daily conformity. Instead, it's an radio host for ABC came to an abrupt end in 1995. extension of gutsy endeavors that have typified his "My ABC weekend show had been airing for about This is a story about three men and a mouse. The work as a media insider and outsider. a year," he recalls, "blasting the powers-that-be and men are named Ted, Danny and Jim. The mouse is The biases of network television don't amount to preaching the populist gospel, when Disney, Inc. named Mickey. And the moral of the story is -- a conspiracy, he explains: "No, rarely is someone announced on Tuesday, Aug. 1, that it was buying well, that's for you to decide. picking up the phone and telling some producer to my network. Suddenly I was the property of Late last month, at the International Press skew the news. The boardroom rarely faxes orders Mickey Mouse." Freedom Awards Dinner in New York, ABC News to the newsroom. But then again, they don't have to When his program began the following Saturday, superstar Ted Koppel received a lifetime achieve- if they hire professionals who share the same Hightower announced: "I work for a rodent." He ment prize. In a brief speech, he lamented the "fad- worldview and language, rely on the same sources, went on to denounce the Disney takeover as well ing lines between television news and entertain- and tend to shape their reporting the same way." as the Telecommunications Act that had just ment." And he warned that American journalists In spite of the grim media saga he recounts, passed the Senate, paving the way for accelerated are threatened by "the trivialization of our indus- Schechter exudes optimism. "It doesn't have to be media mergers and buyouts. try." this way," he contends early in the book. Nearly "Turns out the mouse doesn't have much of a Decrying the sorry state of America's airwaves 400 pages later, he insists: "When the public under- sense of humor," Hightower writes, "and there was has become a ritual among the most famous names stands the issues and takes up the challenge, an abrupt chilling in the network's enthusiasm for in broadcast news -- who step away from their change can happen, despite all of the media's arro- my program. Even though ABC had until then multimillion-dollar jobs just long enough to tell us gance and seductive power." been committed to the steady growth of the show how concerned they are about the mess they're still Schechter adds: "Fighting to democratize the ... and even though there were numerous advertis- helping to perpetuate. media will not be an easy or quick fight, and can- ers available to back the show-- I was suddenly -Perhaps Koppel should take a serious look at The not be won before the next commercial break. moused, literally kicked off the air shortly after my More You Watch, the Less You Know, a new book by Eternal vigilance is still what's needed." anti-Mickey, anti-merger broadcast." Danny Schechter --published, coincidentally, the day A week after "The More You Watch, the Less You Looking ahead, Mickey's parent company will before Koppel delivered his high-sounding speech. Know" appeared, another fine book by a former probably remain inhospitable to journalists like After eight years as a producer at ABC's "20/20" ABC employee was published. The author: Jim Danny Schechter and commentators like Jim program, Schechter left the network in 1988 and Hightower. The title: There's Nothing in the Hightower. As one of the biggest media conglom- proceeded to find meaningful work -- by creating Middle of the Road But Yellow Stripes and Dead erates, Disney is scurrying to the beat of a very it. Since then, his output with like-minded col- Armadillos." loud corporate drum. leagues has included documentaries ranging from Since leaving office a half-dozen years ago as And that beat goes on. Just ask Ted Koppel. South Africa to Bosnia. He also co-produced Texas agriculture commissioner, Hightower has "Rights & Wrongs: Human Rights Television," a immersed himself in creating media of, by and for Norman Solomon is a syndicated columnist. His most regular series that aired on public TV from 1993 to the people. He has a whale of a tale to tell -- and he recent books are The Wizards of Media Oz, (co-authored 1996 (without support from PBS). tells it with sparkling wit and deft analysis. with Jeff Cohen), and With Dilbert: How Corporate Schechter's feisty new book is not an attempt to Hightower describes how his stint as a national Culture Gets the Last Laugh."

THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 8 ISSUES

By Joanna Wegielnik flicts in the aforementioned countries? How many ing setback in Vietnam, leaving Indonesia as the have you never heard of? How much do you know most important American ally in the area. The U.S. The International Monetary Fund made an about insipid American involvement in these national interest, Ford concluded, "had to be on announcement last week that it is tentatively com- regions through various conduits such as the IMF, the side of Indonesia." mitting roughly $3 billion in monetary aid to WB, C.I.A., D.E.A., etc.? More to the point, how Ford gave his tacit approval on December 6, Indonesia in wake of recent events in the East many of you just don't give a fuck? 1975...Five days after the invasion, the United Asian financial markets. This is the same organiza- East Timor is an expendable country in the New Nations voted to condemn the attack as an arrent tion responsible for a plethora of disastrous pseu- World Order. Most people have never heard of it, it act of international aggression. The United States do-projects that do nothing to help the indigenous slips into obscurity, and to mention it in any kind of abstained [from the vote]. Thereafter, the U.S. del- population of the communities they destroy but public forum is to single yourself out as that crack- egate maneuvered behind the scenes to resist U.N. insidiously fatten the pockets of the money-power head in the back of the room talking a lot of shit. On moves aimed at forcing Indonesia to give up its whores that run this evil institution. Incidentally, more than one occasion, I have found myself to be conquests." the IMF and Word Bank (a sister organization no in that position, feeling very fucking indignant and The December 7,1975 invasion was launched the less sinister), have been under full control of furious that anything I just said has fallen on deaf, day Ford and then Secretary of State Kissinger left American corporate interests since their unfortu- indifferent ears. It's a horribly frustrating feeling, Jakarta following a meeting with Suharto. Since nate inception fifty years ago. The president of one that I wouldn't wish on anyone. that day, 270,000 Timorese (out of a population of both the IMF and WB have exclusively been and Back to this East Timor thing. Journalist Jack 650,000) have perished according to Amnesty currently are American. Anderson reported the following dispatch in the International reports. The death toll is proportion- In the numerous accounts of mass media reports San Francisco Chronicle on November 9, 1979: ate to the Pol Pot killings in Cambodia and the I have forced myself to digest recently on this sub- "By December 3, 1975, an intelligence dispatch Holocaust. ject, not once did any of the New York Times' intre- to Washington reported that "ranking Indonesian The massacres, forced sterilization, and torture pid reporters mention the occupation of East civilian government leaders have decided that continue to this very day, under the watchful and Timor, a small island in the Indonesian archipelago the only solution in the Portuguese Timor situa- benevolent gaze of the United States & Co. The illegally occupied by Indonesian forces more than tion is for Indonesia to launch an open offensive U.S., Great Britain, and Australia ensure a constant twenty years ago. East what, you say? My point against Fretelin [the leading East Timor resis- flow of military hardware directly into the hands exactly. If tomorrow I were to take a poll around tance movement]." of Indonesian generals. To add insult to injury, two campus and ask you what, where, when, how, why But it was essential to neutralize the United weeks ago, the Indonesia government announced East Timor is, 99.9% of you wouldn't have the fog- States because the Indonesian army relied heavily the name of the new state car; the "Timor". Add to giest idea. After all, if you faithfully obey the mas- on U.S. arms which, under our laws, could not be that a whopping and generous $3 billion from the ter and do what he proscribes (read the Times, used for aggression. whorish IMF, and you can begin to understand watch CNN, etc.), this type of information will As it happened, President Gerald Ford was on his how the game is played. always fall below your radar screen. way to Indonesia for a state visit. An intelligence Y•ah, I know...the power structures are firmly East Timor, Paupa New Guinea, Chiapas-Mexico, report forewarned that Suharto (dictator of planted and have deep insidious roots. BUT I, FOR Guatemala, El Salvador, Chile, Peru, Colombia, Indonesia) would bring up the Timor issue and ONE, REFUSE TO BELIEVE THEY ARE FUCK- Haiti, Liberia, Nigeria, Northern Ireland, Israel- would "try and elicit a sympathetic attitude." ING IMMOVABLE. If you give a damn, and would Palestine, Iraq, Turkey, Kurdistan. Be honest with That Suharto succeeded is confirmed by Ford like to work on this issue in a proactive fashion, yourself, how much do you know about the con- himself. The United States had suffered a devastat- please contact me in the Press office.

in. Now to be tair, tney aiea in aroves too. Dut, rei enut uyi i,n uL.v %.--.../ -i . - .-.-. o a---o-.. .. . 5 of young peo- they died of starvation because there was no slave Europeans died from malaria and other foreign Country where an entire generation Raise your class to grow and harvest their food. Well, the diseases, but frankly, I don't care. The indigenous pie are criminalized on a daily basis. propose a heartfelt toast to our twisted locals saw this and said to themselves "aww, look people were in the position of neutral action. The glass and time-warp. Happy eating, kids! at all the poor starving white people. They're so invaders, the colonizers, the squatters, were in the little cute. Let's throw them a few bones. We can spare position of action.

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This year, Stony Brook got a very special Halloween treat. On October 31st, the University of Texas at Austin released a list of candidates for the presidency of their school. Our current president, Shirley Strum Kenny, was on it. Kenny, who was raised in Texas and attended U.T. Austin, released a statement soon afterwards to the campus community. In it, she pledged her love for Stony Brook... but admitted she'd like to take the Texas job. We can't really blame her. Austin is the largest university in the country, with an annual budget of nearly a billion dollars. The presidency is a plum job. And we'd like her to get it. Since her inauguration as president three years ago, Kenny has consistently acted in the worst inter- ests of students. Her policies are responsible for cutting classes, destroying academic departments, and decaying the quality of a Stony Brook education. The English department is tattered and torn, with too few classes for too many undergrads. The Theater department lies broken, graduate programs shredded. Every department in the school has problems, plagued by low funding, tenure limitations and poor administra- tive support. "But what of the ratings?" Shirley's few supporters will shout. Yes, Stony Brook has placed well in several national rankings since Kenny came aboard... but this is largely public relations, more a reflection of Shirley's image control techniques than the quality of a Stony Brook education. Perhaps the survey people should be looking at is the one performed by The Princeton Review, in which actual Stony Brook students were asked what they think. When the Review came out with the results, USB ranked as one of the worst schools in the country, placing second in "Most Unhappy Students" and categories. P.R. only does so much. anpearinerr- o in the- ton-- r ten of half a dozen other unpleasant Kenny's public relations moves have sold out the student body and are turning our school into a McUniversity, a corporate-controlled training ground for big business. Computer Associates President Charles Wang donates millions to the school for a new cultural center... but soon after CA recruiting posters appear all over campus. Time passes, and then Kenny announces that CA will help run an expanded Computer Sci department. After the new Student Activities Center is completed, eyes turn to the rest of the campus. Plans to renovate the commuter lounge in the Library quickly evolve into those for a "Campus Village" -basically a retail mall, populated with stores owned by friends of Shirl. Plus, she never returns our phone calls. Needless to say, we don't like her... and these are only a few of the problems we have with her. We hope that Shirley's bid for the Texas gig is successful, and that she can return to the Lone Star state. We think we'd be better off without her. So the question becomes: Texas or Bust? Will Shirley get the Longhorn job and run for the WIL l)ULUIVIrI4LUU LU % P IV I I Ly hI L' iV tIffY boderU~I oTWrwil okur- porunve~rsty rave: o u eurt her rule until we finally go bust? Shirley Strum Kenny... asleep at the wheel.

TrHE SIour BRooK IPRESS PAGE lR PREACHING Attention Students! Here is your chance to save Stony Brook! Stop complaining about the course the University has taken under Shirley Strum Kenny, and sign the letter below. Send it to the address at the top, and with any luck, those Texan suckers will take her off our hands! Show your school spirit and give Shirl the heave-ho!

r , Clip and send this letter to theUniversity of Texas at Austin! The address is below! r-m-m. -mmmmmmmmmmmm- m.-.m.....------m-.-.-m-.-m.-... = I I I I Board of Regents S The University of Texas at Austin U 1 I " I Austin, Texas 78713 I I 1

To Whom It May Concern, I

I am writing to you regarding the recent nomination of Shirley Strum Kenny for I the position of President of The University of Texas at Austin. Having been graced with I President Kenny's leadership for three years here at the State University of New York at I Stony Brook, I feel it would be pure selfishness to not write to you and inform you of the opportunity you would be missing if you did not choose her to be your next president. President Kenny's regime, er..., administration here at Stony Brook has seen one I success after another. Coming in on the heels of our beloved John Marburger, President Kenny has spearheaded one of the most ambitious visibility campaigns to ever bring a fictional water canine to the lips of Long Islanders everywhere. The Seawolf is the per- fect symbol of the ferocity with which President Kenny has pursued the financial sol- vency necessary to bring Stony Brook into the corporate-controlled environment of S American higher education that the 21st century is sure to be. With each savvy mar- keting move, President Kenny has ensured that the school that once bore the embar- I rassing moniker "The Berkeley of the East" will forever be remembered as a bold and I trailblazing finder of lost funds. Is the University of Texas at Austin in need of a new I football stadium? Give President Kenny some lip balm and five minutes alone in a room with the CEO of a major computer software firm, and watch the millions roll in. I We make this plea with your interests in mind. You need the type of bold, take- no-prisoners leadership that only a chunky alumnus can give. Everything in Texas being as big as it is, you can ill-afford to choose anyone else. I We love President Kenny, and it will hurt to lose her, but if she taught us one I I thing during her short time here, it is that giving is the most important thing a person can do. We want to give you Shirley Strum Kenny, with no malice in our hearts, and a I bittersweet song on our lips. Yes, we may be losing the biggest bosom to ever cradle I Stony Brook, but you'll be gaining a prodigal daughter. She's yours, Austin, we only I borrowed her for a little while; take her back while you still can. I I I I I Sincerely, I I I I

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NOVEMBER 12, 1997 PAGE 13 THEY SUCK BRAINS! I~BPP·P e~ WF" ~sr~as ~I .""Rp~- ~ --~s~·BI~~~-~"'~"~srr~s~r~·~·a~·a~

VWb^ [Isics2~~tff^'si i L&&c~r Co A dial the number and get a busy By The Lunatick Service is a foreign concept on this university. system. So you In business, the customer is always right. Lets signal. Then you dial again and get through, registration com- Ah, College, the wonderful institution we are see, we pay money to get an "education" here, so punch in all the digits, but the another call and dis- all in. The best thing about this particular institu- that would make us customers. Then why are we puter is too busy to handle To bypass the tion is that it is a public university and therefore ignored, yelled at and generally jerked around by connects you. (Quick cheat: inexpensive. Inexpensive??? That seems relative this university system? I remember GO2SB number dial 2-9393 it gets to the registration lately. Inexpensive compared to what, Harvard, the days of registering in person for you directly You finally get through Yale or another ivy league school? classes. You had to get there an hour computer.) accepts your It seems they are planning another increase in the before the Registrar opened to get a and the computer isn't this the tuition of this school. For what, you ask? Increased place on line inside the building. classes. Wait a minute screwed up services? More classes so you can graduate on Then, if you were really lucky, they same computer that were you I would time? More parking spaces? Building improve- posted the closed out classes when your major? If I printed to ments? The answer is: NONE OF THE ABOVE. the Registrar opened, so you could go and get a hard copy They just want more of your money so that the high scurry to find alternates. Then, you confirm that it took. to us right muckety-mucks of the SUNY system can continue waited to hand in your form, and This isn't important to get the now. What's important is how do to receive outrageous salaries for doing absolutely then waited on line again •'wr pan•sI- T 1v-Iyo couIA nothing that benefits the students. receipt that tells you how many of we pay tor this? well you coula high Hey, any of you commuters ever wonder why your classes closed while you were waiting. Even have done what I did and work during your parking permit is now good for five years? better, you were told that academic advising is school to save up for college. Then have tuition Hey everyone else, don't you wonder why your blocking you from registering. So you go to them, go up over one thousand dollars since the time ID is also good for five years? A college educa- and wait on another line only to find out that you began college. Then continue to work two tion is only supposed to take four years, right? they have no idea what you are talking about. jobs through college so you don't have these Nope, not here. Only one of my friends has grad- You then discover that due to a wonderful com- outrageously high student loans to pay off. uated in the four years that you expect college to puter error you are now a Mechanical Then you end up with a mediocre grade point take. Everyone else has taken at least an extra Engineering major. "I thought I was a bio major," average and a need to sleep in class. Not semester or summer classes not because they you say to yourself. So you now have to bring a because you were a party animal who stayed failed classes but because they couldn't get into change of major form and get back on that long out all night, but because you work 11pm - 7am the courses they needed. So evidence seems to line. Sounds like we are valued customers to me. so you can afford college. It also happens to be suggest that even the university expects you to But all that has changed now. You have the the only time you have free to work because take five years. I wonder why in the new acade- phone-in system. Ah yes, now it's computerized. your classes are all over the place due to trying mic bulletin they have these nice 4 year plans You just need a phone and your little guidebook to graduate on time. But ya know it's ironic mapped out. Surely they don't expect you to fol- to all the three digit codes. It's simple and flaw- sleeping through the education you are working low these plans. less, they tell you! You just have to get into the so hard to get.

THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 14 I ~-- ,c~rp------lbp , ~s · q · _ ,,~ -~BI. ~s~-~---a , -~L~-_~ C"I I- p~BIL--~-~P~LPI~·-~P·R~ I ------· r -- pa- _ I II-~ 1 FEATURES

By Julia Juggs estrogen pills, to boost up the declining levels of all over campus. The article was intended to be estrogen that are responsible for menopause in the totally tongue in cheek, and I assumed that every- There are some things in this world that I first place. While the treatment usually does aid in one else would take it that way as well. Not our find mighty irksome. Impatient bastards, itchy combating the hot flashes and irregular menstrua- friend Jim, however. In our October fifteenth issue, skin, and my roommate are just a few. While these tion, its totally unnatural. It messes around with he praised the banners, and candidly referred to things are of a high priority, there are a few slight- the hormonal levels in the body, and just delays the me as "the malinger." In my article I had made fun ly more... shall we say, global, concerns that plague inevitable. So when my mother was faced with the of one of the banners which read "I believe a leaf of me. I will dig deep into my trench of hate and estrogen-or-not-to-estrogen dilemma, she tried the grass is no less than the journey work of the stars," share a few of them with you here. estrogen at the urging of her doctor. To quote her and jokingly questioned anyone to find a correla- bluntly, "It made me bleed, like, every week." Not tion between grass and stars. In his article, our Target 1: American Medicine. only does that defy the natural action of friend Jim shared with us an excerpt from Science For a society that's so advanced, our medical menopause, but I fail to see how such a side effect magazine which indeed proved that stars and world is pretty damn stubborn. I don't want to dis- could possibly make a drug that's supposed to grass have much in common. Well, excuse fuckin' credit Western medicine; chemical drugs, X-rays, ease the stress of menopause worthwhile. So my me. I never claimed to be no scientist. I wish these and neurosurgery are all fine and dandy in their mother went off in search of an alternative. And Overly Critical People could learn to take certain own right. But there is a whole other world of she found one. Not in a doctors' office or in the things at face value and not feel the need to read alternative medicine that is constantly ignored and pages of a medical journal, but in an herbal shop in into and analyze everything they see. dismissed by doctors, hospitals, and insurance the East Village of Manhattan (Anjelica's Herbs, companies all over the country. Things like herbal- located on the corner of First Ave. and Ninth St.). Target 3: People Who Pee On Toilet Seats and ism and acupuncture have helped countless peo- She now consumes an herbal tea comprised of Don't Feel the Need To Clean It Off. ple, yet most American medical institutions con- Motherwort, Oat, and Dong Quai, all herbs known Ever heard that little rhyme, "If you sprinkle tinue to dismiss them as "New Age Crap" (I know for their benefits in easing "women's' troubles", when you tinkle, be neat and wipe the seat?" Most they wouldn't say "crap," but you get the idea). To and is virtually hot flash free. "Within a week I of us probably have, yet so few actually abide by illustrate my point, let me tell you a little anecdote noticed a difference, and within month they were it. I understand that when you pee, [this is direct- about my very own mother. A few years ago, she gone," she said. Not only did she find a remedy for ed toward the ladies] somewhere between getting began going through the dreaded "change of life" what ailed her, she managed to it naturally, inex- up and wiping, it's very easy to drip on the seat a we call menopause (onset usually occurs in the pensively, and without messing with her body little. However, it's also very easy to take some toi- mid- to late forties). Most women experience hot chemistry. Now put that in your pipe and smoke it, let paper and wipe up your goddamn piss. This flashes and irregular menstruation, among other Western Medical Science. goes beyond just pee on toilet seats. It had to do things. While irregular menstruation (which even- with common courtesy and respect for your fellow tually becomes nil, as is the purpose of Target 2: Overly Critical People. humans. So the next time you go to the bathroom menopause) is somewhat tolerable, any woman You know them as well as I do. Those critical, and sit down a pool of some stranger's piss, just who's gone through it will tell you that hot flash- fastidious people who manage to find something remember that it's probably payback for that time es are extremely uncomfortable. So, under these wrong with everything you do or say. I point to you "didn't have time" to clean up after yourself. circumstances, the natural reaction of most women something written in the pages of this very publi- is to run to their doctors, who's natural reaction is cation. Let's just-call -the-author...er, Jim. In our Next issue: I will bitch about the Janes to prescribe them drugs. Many menopausal October first issue, I had written an article Addiction Reunion, DEC requirements, and more. women are given hormone treatments, usually denouncing those stupid friggin' banners that are

I - i I I I I II I I NOVEMBER 12, 1997 PAGE 15 FEATURES II I I · · · I ,· II -1- · ~'-- · I I'-~CL~ · --q I L I JI · r e ~L L I I -1 I

\icqrious xprence With anorei

By Hilary Vidair leg. There was no way I would let her see me cry. LaGuardia High School for dance. The girls there After that encounter, Janet wouldn't talk to me. are very competitive and the teachers often tell My image of myself in the wall-to-wall mirror She avoided me as best as she could. Yet that did girls who are stick thin that they need to lose began to blur as I felt the tears in my eyes form not stop me from noticing the yellowish tone of her weight. And in terms of academics, Janet was real- uncontrollably. I tried casually wiping them away skin or the thinning of her flaming red hair. It did ly hard on her self. Always a perfectionist, she as I continued to practice my pirouettes. Yet I could not blind my eyes from the sight of her body slow- often overworked herself. not turn my head away from my friend Janet* no ly withering away. Another problem was Janet's mother. Growing matter how hard I tried. At five-foot-eight and When I could stand it no longer, I confided in our up, Janet had always wanted to be a doctor. Yet her eighty-six pounds, she was the skinniest girl in our dance instructor. Together, we confronted her mother always said, "Dancers are famous. Doctors ballet class. As I turned, I felt the tears begin to fall. mother who was shocked, as well as extremely are not." She pressured Janet into taking more Janet was suffering from anorexia nervosa. I had disappointed. She took her to both a nutritionist dance classes than she wanted to and was always begun to notice how little she ate when we went and a psychologist. After a few months, Janet after her to pursue a professional career in the arts. for food on our breaks from dance class. At first, began to realize that she needed help. She meant well, but she really made Janet's life she would buy something small, saying that she I stood and watched from the sidelines as Janet harder. had already eaten. This started to happen fre- slowly gained back the weight she had lost. Her A third problem was one of our dance instructors. quently, until she eventually ate nothing at all. skin began to look healthier and her hair regained A bulimic herself, she actually taught Janet how to One day, I walked into the studio's dressing room, its original luster and shine. Yet she still would not stick a toothbrush down her throat to make her only to find her dumping a large plate of food into talk to me. throw up. Janet had always idolized her because the garbage can. She had said she was going to eat It's been over a year now since that day in the she was a successful dancer who had been in a lot there because it was too hot in the restaurant. dressing room. About a couple of months ago, I of credible productions. She always forced Janet to Startled to see me, she jumped up, trying to push called Janet to see she was doing. She replied, "I do too much, often making her do dangerous exer- the garbage can behind her. I pushed her aside and could have managed my weight on my own. You cises like strengthening her arch by bending it asked her why she wasn't eating. She blurted out, didn't have to run and tell everybody. Don't call between the narrow legs of a foot stool. "Because I'm fat and I need to lose weight and this here again." I heard a click on the other end of the Anorexia nervosa is a serious disease. My vicari- is the only way I can! I'm ugly and stupid and the line. Slowly I replaced the receiver. This often ous experience with it has led me to have a great only way anyone will ever accept me is if I'm skin- makes me wonder if Janet is really better. She interest in developmental psychopathology (the ny!" I stared at her in astonishment as she pushed switched dancing schools, which means I only see study of the development of abnormal behavior) in open the door and went to her next class. her from time to time. She looks well, although I teenagers. Despite what Janet may think, I believe When we resumed dancing, I couldn't bear to can't help wondering if she'll soon stop eating that I was her first step towards help. If I can't save look at her. How was I supposed to concentrate again. her life, I would like to aid others in getting help to when Janet had just told me something like that? I I attribute Janet's case of anorexia to a lot of save their own. excused myself, saying I had pulled a muscle in my things. For one, she had just started going to * Name has been changed ,, -~ I --I ---~--~r~~-~------ANISSUE WHICHCANNOLONGER 60 UNAIORESSED By Matthew Vernon Xavier Willemain

Deep, deep down beneath the earth, rumbles the lolliwag. Blurbling and brumbling it beckons the depths of time into the spires of eternal verisimili- tude, the vermillion varnish of pleasant madness seeping into your dreams. Shirley Strum Kenny has lumbled down the wollywonk towards our mean- By Marlo Allison Del Toro ingful and truthlessly tarnished lamberblast for the last time, as we shall now know the new non-entity of our forgotten destiny's shiningly voluptuous It's a COMMUTER Bus bounty of plethoric generosities. Why are some residents so lazy? I'm writing about the bums from Kelly Quad Additionally, once all presented is considered, in retrospect one should prepon- (and vicinity) who wait on line for the commuter bus - wait about 5 minutes der the body of truth given by the hand of God, and consider where we all stand in as the bus fills to capacity - and ride to the first stop. It only takes about 5 min- the continuum that makes a man a jar. Falling short ever and again, those of anon utes to walk this distance, so it's not getting them there any faster. And if any shall be what those from hence never truly said, that unspoken, misbegotten hope of you bums want to tell me to walk my ass to south-P - or Siberia, as it is of the poor lech who can never make it to the gutter to vomit in his own grandiose commonly called - I'd have you know that as a non-driver I have to walk position, ensconced, as he always is, in the psychosemantic state of humanity more than 5 minutes after I get to south-P to get home. And, since we've bare- In response, Statesman Editors whose names shall be forever been and seen ly had rainy days this semester, and it's been a mild autumn, there's no rea- between the days of tomorrow's mystery, recoiled into a state of imaginary son why you healthy co-eds can't walk it. I propose the Kenny regime make fortitude and celeruous communistic barons. the commuter bus a commuter shuttle, and have it go directly from SAC to In as much as word can never match the deeds of those who seek to forge south-P and back again. Especially since the north local can cart around resi- our utopian turtletop (another of history's forgotten bylaws and querulous dents. I don't personally know any of the bums who abuse the commuter bus, quixotic contemporary carnal camps), we may never meet the length and the but I know of one well-known USB student who does abuse it. need of the breath of our hunger, the way humans shall forever surge for that Goon sighting #1 which ever eludes the mindless masses. Until recently, I had only heard descriptions, and seen one blurry picture of The students of this flankeronious and cantankeronius mnemonious forth- the Goon, of Goon Watch fame. Last week, though, I was privileged (?) to coming shall be downcoming and those who have seen the day's end, and have my first citing of the elusive beast. It was an anthropologists dream: to those who will, when the proper time becomes one with the new yesterday, be able to study the Goon in his natural habitat. Anyway, he (a resident) begin their ascendance into the nothing state of Nod, responded akin in their squeezed his bubbly, furry, smelly ass into an already full-past-fire standards typical jocular fashion amidst a sea of spellbinding holidays. commuter bus, and I held my breath for 5 minutes. But his assault on my nose Thanksgiving, never to be forgotten, leaves the ruckus with a frayed, yet shining, didn't add up to the horror that I faced in the headlights of ARAmark. sense of self-honor and self-worth that the libelous and bespectacled dragons of our ARAmark Murders Student proverbial verbiage shall never allow to begin to corrupt the madness of the islands That's what the headline would have read. The other day I was walking into the dream of a twisted renaissance preacher's beleaguered hopes. towards Humanities when a truck bearing the Aramark logo nearly ran me And with those very same self-serving hopes, I conclude with my original down. The psycho-driver didn't slow down one iota. Luckily, unlike a deer in intent, and be that as you may, or may not ever be, shall we dance...or shall headlights, I wasn't mesmerized by ARAmark's sheen. I quickly jumped out we, as a civilization, recognize the dire import of this warning from beyond of the way. In retrospect, I think the driver recognized me as a member of The the grave of cold war post-apoplectic transgression's path. Perhaps the French Press, and deliberately tried to kill me off in an attempt to silence our des- said it best. perate cries for justice in the meal plan. These things may never be known.

THE Stom BiOOK PRESS PAGE 16 FEATURES WHY CONSPIRACY THEORIES ARE DUMB By James Polichak trouble. This situation is usually expressed by both (or pigeons) must make a sequence of choices cor- prisoners receiving a moderate reward (say, three responding to the choices made in the standard Conspiracy theories have been seeing a growth points). If both prisoners defect, implicating each prisoner's dilemma. If they consistently choose the in popularity and acceptance lately. The X-Files other in the crime, they are both penalized by receiv- right sequence, they can gain the maximum and its cute stars appear more and more on the TV, ing fewer points (two points). However, if one pris- amount of rewards. If they don't, they are essen- bookshelves, and the Internet. Mainstream oner cooperates while the other defects, the coopera- tially defecting against themselves and being Hollywood has attempted to cash in on the craze tor is harshly punished (receiving one point) while penalized with fewer rewards. Even in this simple by throwing Mad Max and Tinkerbell into the the defector is lavishly ;ituation, people can't seem to game. The popularity of conspiracy theories is not rewarded (receiving four help but defect. The research limited to fun with fictional scenarios. People, even points). It should be clear that shows that this inability to coop- otherwise thoughtful and well-educated people, if there is only one chance to erate with one's self is largely actually believe in assorted conspiracies theories, play the game, one should due to the fact that defection leading to an assortment of ill-considered actions always choose to defect. gives greater immediate reward ranging from idiotic statements to massive crimi- Things are more interest- than cooperation (which wins nal destruction. ing and realistic when look- out in the end). People have lots Popular conspiracy theories argue that there is ing at a series of prisoner's of difficulty postponing imme- T__ &-I--l - - some kind of large-scale cooperation among dilemma games. In tnis case, diate rewaras tor later rewaras, groups of people, usually to prevent some knowl- the goal is to play again and again, attempting to especially when the immediate reward is large. edge from being known or some product from obtain as many points as possible before the end of One can well imagine that if college sophomores being made available. These cover-ups are for the the session. Note that in this situation, the players at SUNY Stony Brook (yes, much research on deci- benefit of the conspiracists and detrimental to the are not aware of when exactly the end of the ses- sion-making with the prisoner's dilemma is con- general public. For example, Pat Robertson has sion will come. Such knowledge would make the ducted here) can't manage to cooperate with them- written extensively about the coming world gov- whole session equivalent to a one-trial game. selves to earn money, the prospects for a dozen ernment, a conspiracy orchestrated by the United When playing a series of prisoner's dilemmas, it highly-competitive automakers, pharmaceutical Nations, the great banking families, the Trilateral makes the most sense for players to continually companies, or governmental organizations to do Commission, and so on, with Satan himself ulti- cooperate. They will obtain three points each so must be fairly slim. mately the cause. More respectable conspiracies round and avoid having to punish each other for Keep in mind that this analysis ignores the pos- among left-wing types include the idea that big defection with future defections, dragging down sibility that independent inventors, investigators, automakers are preventing the electric car from each other's scores. and others would like to see the various conspira- coming to showrooms and saving the atmosphere, Conspiracy theories can be compared to a compli- cies revealed, because they receive no benefits or that big pharmaceutical corporations are sup- cated series of prisoner's dilemma games. The big whatsoever for cooperating with conspiracists, pressing a cheap cure for cancer so that they can automakers of the world must conspire to prevent and certainly would benefit from whistle-blowing. continue to profit from our human misery. And we the emergence of the electric car. If they cooperate, It also ignores all of the past situations where con- all know that governments have been meeting they will all be rewarded with continuing sales of spiracy would have been likely, but did not occur with aliens since King John signed the Magna their gas-powered products indefinitely. However, (where were all the railroad barons when the car Carta. What conspiracy theories all have in com- if one of them defects and produces a marketable was being developed, or the laudanum-pushers mon is that they demand that many, many people electric car, the rest are screwed. Because they can't when effective drugs were being developed?). We with otherwise disparate interests, personalities, fully trust each other, they will each be thinking are additionally ignoring all of the warmer, fuzzi- and backgrounds get together and cooperate in about defecting, thus working on exactly what they er human emotions (maybe those researchers, secret for their mutual benefit, without any of them are trying to suppress. The first company to pro- even though they work for those faceless corpora- letting the cat out of the bag. The question is, can duce the electric car will be lavishly rewarded with tions, really want to cure cancer?). All of these fac- people actually do this? immense profits and accolades for saving the envi- tors only serve to make conspiracy theories even Psychological studies of decision-making strong- ronment, while the rest suffer with showrooms full more unlikely. ly suggest that the answer is negative. We can of unwanted gas-guzzlers. Similar analogies can be Whether a conspiracy can be effective or not is examine decision-making and cooperation in made for suppression of the cure for cancer or alien essentially a question of whether people can post- detail with a simple model known as the prisoner's life. While the case can be made that the powers that pone a larger immediate reward (for defection) in dilemma. The prisoner's dilemma has been used as be would all be better off if they cooperated to keep exchange for an immediately lesser reward (for a model for decades by psychologists, economists, things secret, the first one to defect will get far cooperation) that will be greater over time. Even in biologists, computer scientists, and others, and has greater rewards than for cooperation (i.e., lots of the simplest situation people have great difficulty yielded many insights into decision-making money, Nobel prizes, celebrity status, etc.) in acting toward the later, greater reward. Vastly behavior by humans and other animals. So what happens when people play a series of increasing the complexity of the situation can only The basic situation described by the prisoner's prisoner's dilemma games? They defect much further encourage defection for short-term gains. dilemma is simple. A pair of prisoners are questioned more often than they cooperate. This occurs even This principle holds for pigeons pecking at buttons individually about a crime. Each can choose to either in the situation that should foster the greatest for food pellets as well as government agents hid- cooperate (by keeping quiet about what happened) amount of cooperation-- when people are playing ing space aliens. or defect (by trying to implicate the other in the against themselves. Modified versions of the pris- crime). If both prisoners cooperate, neither gets into oner's dilemma have been designed so that people - - Continued From Page 8 In a political climate which ed interests in keeping people poor. An economy in advocating communism, for Soviet Russia is an is dominated by talk of tax which there is virtually full employment favors the example of a society in which there is wealth con- cuts, opponents of socially progressive programs employee rather than the employer. Corporations centration coupled to a lack of political freedom. predict that they are too expensive for us to afford. would have to improve wages and benefits in order Nevertheless, we do require a better economic sys- Progressives should talk about the priorities of fed- to compete for workers, which would initially lower tem for meeting human needs. We want a society eral spending. The affluent get more from the gov- profits. Monetarit economists use poverty as a which guarantees all of its citizens food, shelter, ernment than the poor through federal entitlements weapon to fight inflation. An effective anti-poverty education and medical care. No one can outline at and corporate tax breaks, e.g. in 1996 the cost of tax strategy would have to abandon monetarism, the present how this society will be created anymore breaks to corporations and wealthy individuals will pillar of conservative economics (Mr. Gingrich than anyone knows the cure for AIDS. However, we be $440 billion more than 17 times combined state can promote alternatives to the "conventional" busi- and federal spending on AFDC (Aid to Families ness structure, e.g. not-for-profit medical insurance with Dependent Children). We also need to consid- companies, workers cooperatives. Legally we could er the high social and economic cost of poverty. disconnect economic and financial power. Why There are many studies which have established should the holder of 50% of the shares in a compa- links between poverty and crime, but few candi- ny have 50% of the vote in the boardroom? Could dates who present themselves as being tough on market capitalism. It is no surprise when we play we not have a one shareholder, one vote democracy crime by being touch on poverty. Right-wing pun- the board game "Monopoly" that one player gets all within a company? What if the salaries of the CEOs dits neglect to mention that the poverty created of the money and the others become bankrupt. It is required the electoral mandate of the workforce? under Reagan led to recession under Bush, if only no surprise that our "Monopoly" economy produces The ideas of a better society are inside us if we are because falling incomes lead to falling sales. The poverty and concentration of wealth. At present we brave enough to find them. truth is that we cannot afford NOT to eradicate do not have a social program which can eliminate poverty. -However, there-- are people who- have vest-----poverty ---- faster than capitalism creates it. I am not -- NOVEMBER 12, 1997 PAGE 17 FEATURES ~--- c IRIIISiP~rt---C. - -~- d -~L - -· ~--·PC i I - ~-- -'-- '' -- -- cry ...... Ange - - U - - day- -~ ------By Terry McLaren they struggle with their disintegrated relation- I am pleased to report that the Stony Brook ships, abandonment, and most tragically, AIDS. Theatre department was definitely up to the chal- "Greetings Prophet. The Great Work Begins. The Prior, the reluctant prophet, is afflicted with the lenging task of putting on a difficult work such as Messenger Has Arrived." disease and has been deserted by his boyfriend, "Angels Part II." From Loyce Arthur's costume - Angels in America, By Tony Kushner Louis (Jason Samuels.) Louis is now involved with and set design to the actors and actresses')------r)rfor-A--- Joe (Steven R. Lopez), a man mances, the production was stellar. The Stony Brook Department of Theatre Arts has who has recently left his wife, The effect over the audience was taken on an ambitious project in producing Angels the Valium addicted and delu- powerful and evident as people in America, Part II: Perestroika, by Tony Kushner. sional, Harper (Jeanine L. could be heard sniffling throughout This Tony and Pulitzer Prize winning play is Capello.) Joe's staunchly the theatre. Jennifer Yi's Angel of about 3 1/2 hours in length, and features an eight Mormon mother, Hannah America steals the show and her member cast in extremely emotionally-demand- (Meliza Weir), upon hearing of costume kicked ass too. As an angel ing roles. This critically acclaimed play follows up her son's situation, moves to lover, I have to admit I suffered last semester's production of Angels in America, Brooklyn to try and sort things from "wing envy." The "stairway to Part 1: Millennium Approaches. The chair of the out. Things get even more heaven" was brilliantly done and Theatre Arts Department, Dr. John Lutterbie, complicated as Roy Cohn impressively phallic. The sex scene directed this story of two relationships that have (Marc Allen), Joe's mentor and between the Angel and Prior is just broken up and the emotional and physical wreck- a very closeted homosexual, is mind blowing. "Angels II" also con- age that follows. on his death bed, supposedly tains such great lines as "This is my Having never seen, nor read, Part I of "Angels," with "liver cancer". Cohn bat- former lover's, lover's Mormon I was afraid that I would have trouble following tles the ghost of Ethel Mother." Only in New York. Or in a the story. Lucky for me, those quick-thinking pro- Rosenberg, who's McCarthy- play set in New York. The play's gram writers kept the previously ignorant in era death he is responsible for. scene transitions were smooth, with mind and included a quick synopsis of The play is set in the early appropriate music incorporated "Millennium Approaches." There was also a his- 90's, but most of the action takes place in flash- into them. I'm not sure if the music was an origi- tory of the play and a quotation from one of the backs to the mid-80's, with a tone of Reagan-era nal part of the play, but if not it was a brilliant author's most influential sources for the play. So cynicism and the total destruction the AIDS crisis addition. now I was fully prepared for this theatrical expe- caused. The author does remind his audience that Overall, Angel's in America II was an interest- rience. the work is, in essence, a comedy. Although life ing, provocative theatre experience that I thor- "Angels" began with the last scene of Part I, with can be tragic and horrible, to go on living when oughly enjoyed. As I said before, it's an ambitious the Angel of America (Jennifer Yi) hailing Prior there seems to be nothing to live for is the greatest project for a college theatre department to under- Walker (Robert MacLachlan), a new prophet, after show of person's strength. People change and take and they did it most successfully. I strongly crashing through the ceiling of his apartment. expand because of the great struggles contained in hope that we at Stony Brook see more overall What follows is an incredible stream of events in their lives, and we are encouraged to do this with great, socially relevant performances like Angels which the characters' lives become intertwined as strength and personal grace. II in the future. Lool 3eav s, that ch c 's naItedl

By Sophia Rovitti looked at me intently, trying to memorize my form. human bodily quirks. People flashed me warm Then I would look down and remember that I was smiles. People introduced themselves to me. They Modeling nude. I thought it would be like a unclothed. But it was never shocking or uncom- sympathized with me, shared their food with me. nightmare that most of us have had. You're stand- fortable, it was just a new experience. What a beautiful reaction to have to a naked ing in a classroom, surrounded by people who are There was something liberating, almost thera- woman standing on a platform in front of you. not only staring at you, but drawing pictures of peutic, about the experience of being nude in front Now, I am not recommending this to everyone as you. You look down, and you are totally naked. It's of people and not having the situation perceived in some sort of miracle cure for low self-esteem. As of a quite scary idea to most people. a sexual light. Kind of like when you're a kid and yet, I have only done modelini once and mavbe I But I decided to do it nonetheless. It was as you can run around naked happened to have a really good though I wanted to prove to myself that I had the and no one cares. I don't class. Maybe I'll do it again and I'll courage and self-confidence to stand in front of know what those people feel uncomfortable. A lot of it has to total strangers naked. Besides, I'd be getting paid were thinking, maybe some do with the environment, and that for it too, so why not? were getting off on it, maybe depends on the people who are Ten minutes before the class started, I thought I some were judging me. But it there. But before doing it, I never must have been temporarily insane when I agreed didn't feel like that. I didn't would have thought that it could to do this. I was so nervous. Surprisingly, I was not worry that some part of my have been such a good experience. It so nervous about appearing nude as I was about body was unacceptable, did make me a lot more comfortable coming up with poses to model. What if I got into because, in that environment, with myself. some random pose and then realized that it was it wasn't possible. If anything I was obviously already pretty totally obscene? The man who taught the class had was going to be unaccept- comfortable with the idea of doing it, suggested. bending over and touching my toes as able, it would be in their or else I wouldn't have agreed. But an example, but considering that there would be drawings, but not me. I was a most people I know wouldn't be. people on all sides of me, that idea was not so hot given, the form to be copied. When I told mv friends that I was (or maybe it was a little too hot, depending on how The sketches were the objects under surveillance, going to model nude, their eyes would bug out of you look at it). Yes, I was being objectified and seen as a form to be their heads and they would say something like Those ten minutes passed and I went into the drawn, but not in a bad way. I felt such acceptance. In "Oh my God, do you mean, like, totally naked?" I class and did it. I'm not going to say that I had order for me to be studied as an example of the didn't think that it would be so shocking, but I nothing to worry about, but I had been worrying human form, I must be a perfectly acceptable exam- guess I was wrong. about the wrong things. I was there for three hours, ple of one. It was nice to be seen predominantly as a That is the point I am trying to make here. holding various poses. At times, the pain was human being. Everyone seems to think that it's some huge deal. incredible. Holding such uncomfortable poses They didn't objectify me to the point of overlook- Even I did in thinking that I'd be proving some- made my muscles ache and my limbs fall asleep. ing my humanity or individualism, because those thing to myself, which I wasn't. It was actually Sometimes, in the midst of this, I would look things were inherent in the objectification. I was not kind of nice not to have to worry about how I around at all the people standing there. They a sex object, but a human object with my own set of looked even though I was baring all.

THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 18 [] FEATURES Cheek out 5T1 this November! Bringing you the absolute best in student productions and major release movies! So much fun it should be illegal!

londay Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday SMonday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday 11/10 11/11 11/12 11/13 11/14 11/17 11/18 11/19 11/20 11/21

aiting to Hamlet The Kiss S Looking The Age of Strange IAi.~. ~.t The P_ _L-I- The i t:00- 9 . I f- r .. ^ 5:00- ttnhue Quantum of tor innocence uays VVeu oI lll Stupids 6:00 pm Quiet o6:00 p (5:30) Life (4:45) (5:30) Universe Death Richard (4:30) Room i __,I I 6:00- USB 6:00- USB 7:00 Jr I 1 Rugby v 7:00 r J J Rugby -- 7:00 i i Jnderstandirng - Understanding 7:00- UK Today |r Burly 7:00- UK Today Burly 8:00 Oceans Bear 8:00 Sex Bear sl•oo ' i ii I SAIL Senate Les Senate The 8:00- wr 0o's the Seawolves My Family 8:00- Of Mice Seawolves Schindler's 9:00 Man Football Meeting Miserables

"Heroes," continuedfrom page 3 anonymity), have stated that their proposed in- NUCLEAR MADNESS tab, and at the same time denying them greater vessel facility would be used exclusively for organ- Some years ago, the people of New Zealand power. Let's hope a major mutiny is in the offing - ic yard waste, leaves and brush. My informant voted that their country be a nuclear-free zone. - and let's help it along here. said, however, that it would be impossible for Uncle Sam is currently trying to pressure the Kiwis them to turn a profit restricting it to those materi- to allow Australian-made nuclear frigates in their JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT COULDN'T als, and besides they'd have to build a 30 to 50 acre deep-water ports. I spoke to Dr. Helen Caldicott, GET ANY MORE RIDICULOUS DEPT. structure to replace the open-air arrangement cur- the renowned anti-nuclear activist and physician I was perusing the "Parents' Movie Guide" in rently in place. The activists accuse the DEC of pro- from Australia, and she said public sentiment in Newsday; you know, where they let kids know what tracting the hearing process, during which the New Zealand is so strongly against nuclear to see for the most in sex, violence, nudity, profani- plant is still operating and befouling the environ- weapons that the bought politicians will never be ty and that glorious catch-all "adult situations" ment. Out of 2,000 complaints over a six-month able to push it through. She said Australia could when I noticed that they now warn Mom and Dad period, the DEC monitor, who is paid by the pol- take a page from their book. The US could take that the film in question may just feature alcohol luter, only cited the plant once. several long chapters. and tobacco consumption. From seeing only the The residents want the Town of Brookhaven to The new NATO members are starting to learn trailer, I'd say that Richard Gere's new venture east- step in where the state is unwilling and declare what it's like to be in the U.S. stable. The Czech ward, RED CORNER, is definitely to be avoided, that the dump's continued operation violates town Republic has come under criticism for "not spend- because it looks like it's the harbinger of a new spate regulations. ing enough" on weapons. The U.S. is also trying to of neo-Cold War demonization films, not because it - I get-- other members to pick upI- a bigger piece of the has "characters who smoke and drink." NOVEMBER 12, 1997 PAGE 19 FEATURES

By Guy Cleveland turned a shade of dull green within seconds, and November 6, The Spot, 10:45 pm was bubbling, as if boiling. Let the lid drop and GOONS IN THE MIST is a series that uses an anthro- The Goon appeared briefly for some R&R at the fled. Fascinated though I may be, the study just pological approach to study a person on-campus known Graduate Student Lounge in Roosevelt Quad. He isn't worth it. as the Goon. The Goon is a great mystery, one of the purchased a Budweiser and went to watch the most unique humans who has ever walked the earth,and band play in the non-bar half of the club. He said November 8, Hallway Outside His Room, 3:05 am deserves a great deal of intense scrutiny. Hopefully, this nothing and did nothing, save to drink his beer Through no fault of my own, I witnessed the Goon study will provide that scrutiny. and occasionally engage in an impromptu dance in a semi-naked state. Fell asleep in nearby lounge that consisted of a slight bump-and-grind of the during a studying session for one of my classes, November 3, In Lounge of Dormitory, 8 pm hips. After approximately twenty-five minutes of and awoke to see a large beige mass enter the bath- Saw Goon sitting with two of his friends, the fea- such behavior, he finished his beer and left. room. Assumed the confusion was due to my blur- tureless girl and the foreign boy clad in leather. ry, post-REM state. Quickly discovered otherwise, Group discussed the state of America's economy; November 7, Hallway Outside His Room, 12:05 am however. The Goon emerged from the bathroom the Goon suggested that people should "buy Passed the Goon's door and was assaulted two moments later wearing nothing more than a tight American", and specifically cited a list of compa- ways at once. In addition to the music, which was pair of Speedos. His legs were thick, flabby, and nies to prove his point. Unfortunately, the compa- cranked relatively loud for such a late hour, I white; his feet were covered in a bushy thicket of nies listed (Nissan, Mazda) were thoroughly un- found the smell to be worse than usual, and my curly hair, obscuring his toes. His belly did not American; fortunately, the Goon's friends were as eyes began to water in pain. It was almost visible hang over the waistband of his underwear, but was lost as he, and didn't catch the incongruity. in its intensity, and it seemed to get worse with rather suspended and projected directly forward, Noticed that the girl tended to drift off into a semi- each passing second. I do not know if any connec- held aloft by some curious muscle trick which I am catatonic state characterized by glassy eyes and tion can be drawn between the music and the loathe to duplicate. Atop his belly were two long, slack lips. increasingly obnoxious smell. (NOTE: Song in thin breasts, were looked almost like snakes of skin question was "Takin' What I'm Gettin' 'Cause I'm that bounced to and fro with each step. Crowning November 4, On Line In The Union Deli, 3 pm Workin' For A Livin'" by Huey Lewis & The News. each breast was a thick red nipple, resembling a Witnessed the Goon espousing his theories about Was replaced with "If I Could Turn Back Time" by thick slice of hairy salami; between his breasts was life and philosophy to the clerk working behind Cher before I deserted the scene.) another patch of hair, this one encrusted with some the counter. Began a lot of sentences with the unknown substance. As he turned to enter his phrase "the way I look at it..." Noticed that despite November 7, Laundry Room Of Dorm, 1:05 pm room, I briefly witnessed the upper portion of his the Goon's slovenly appearance, he does not actu- The Goon seems to be spending a lot of time in his rectal crack. I averted my eyes and once I was ally smell in person. Rather, his lair develops a dorm recently. I found him doing laundry in the ready to look again, he had retreated into his lair. smell, but he himself does not. He does produces a downstairs laundry room; after he was done plac- Such a thing has never before walked this Earth. I faint trace of body odor, but no more than the aver- ing his clothing in the machine, he left -- for where, must know more. I must understand. I must make age sweaty person. Was unable to follow thread of I do not know. I lifted the lid of the washing contact with this fabulously disgusting creature. conversation; believe the deli clerk was having the machine for a cursory inspection of his dirty linen, same problem. but could not bear to reach in; the water had r I

I.....W....s ' .... I

By Sylvester DiPalermo earliest stages. This meant that my ex had been duces antibodies and the Eliza looks for ones that exposed to it by me and I probably was infected resemble HIV antibodies. There are MANY fac- A few months ago, my ex-girlfriend gave with the virus, tors that can set this test off other than the pres- blood in a blood drive at her school. A week later Coincidentally, The Press had been running ence of HIV antibodies. Having the flu, mumps, she received a certified letter from the New York articles about the new treatments of HIV and chicken pox, or many other viral infections, or ,Adrentr It statd th thev , AIDS. and there was a number for being exposed to someone who has them may set oJoLJLU -. , . . . C , ,.J.,,,. yL,,L run preliminary testing on the the Center for Disease Control in off a positive Eliza. Other kinds of viral STD's can blood, and her blood came up reac- Atlanta, AIDS Hotline. Between cause this test to be positive. There are others, but tive for HIV. It also stated that this writing out my will, planning my it is important to keep in mind this is just a pre- did not mean she was infected, but funeral, and contemplating sui- liminary screening, used to weed out the possible they needed to run further tests. I cide heavily, my suspicious nature blood infected with HIV because the Western Blot had been the only guy she had told me to call. I received a great is a more expensive and demanding test and it been with sexually, she's never deal of information about how would be a waste to test everyone that way. The received a blood transfusion or erroneous the information I had Western Blot will tell you if you are infected with used IV drugs, so there was only received from the nurse and doc- HIV, since it tests for proteins of the actual virus one place this could have came tor was. This was also stated by in your bloodstream. Many of the home HIV test from. I was scared shitless. the New York Blood Center, but I are only Elizas and not Western Blots. Many peo- We proceeded to go down to a didn't know who to believe. ple in the health care field, including your family local Planned Parenthood so that After three weeks of waiting doctor, are uninformed and can unknowingly we could get tested. I explained the for the results I took a ride over to give you false ideas. If you should happen to get situation to the head nurse there the clinic, shaking and crying, the results back positive on any Eliza, please get who took care of our case. She pretty much convinced we had the retested and confirmed. It does NOT mean you asked me if this screen was the virus. I arrived and the woman are infected with HIV. Misinformation can not Eliza, but I did not know. I then told me that I was not infected and only hurt, it can kill. asked her if it was the Eliza what came up negative on the Eliza that would mean for us. She told me that she had screen. The same held true for my ex. I went never seen an Eliza come up positive and then neg- through hell with all the misinformation I had ative on the comfirming test, the Western Blot. I got received and I would like to set the record straight. even more scared. According to the people I spoke with from I then spoke with a doctor about these tests the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, and the and the doctor told me that if you come up positive greater New York Blood Program: The Eliza is a on an Eliza, you have been exposed to HIV, but it screening test that checks only for the presence of 1 does not mean you have it. She told me that your HIV antibodies in your blood stream. When you body could possibly fight off the infection in its get sick with any kind of virus, your body pro-

THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 20 ,.", "FEATURES

WasW A Teenvage X-rm An By Squirrel rather do that curl up with the latest issue of X- Don't dis me for reading comics, first read Men or Green Lantern. And what do I get for my them yourself, then dis me. My girlfriend looks at me, astonished, as I run love?! Ridicule! Stupid monikers like loser, nerd Comics have grown into a serious storytelling into her house dripping and the ever stinging fanboy. medium. The writers and artists have matured wet and slump down And a general disbelief that until many titles are spectacles for both the mind onto the couch. "What a anyone should be reading and the eye. glorious day," I comment comics at age 19 of above. So call me kid or nerd, loser or fanboy, and through an all-too-comi- Pshaw, I say! watch me bust your teeth right down your cal grin. "Are you nuts?" First, let me clarify what I throat without missing a panel of Spawn. she replies. "It's pouring call comics. It's not the Pshaw, I say. out, you're drenching my cheesy supertights or Babes couch, and my parents with Guns anymore. Today I Squirrel's Picks And Pricks For The Best And stuck me babysitting the pride myself on reading The Worst In Comicdom brat. How is that glori- quality stories with quality Picks ous?" I smile to myself as art. I look more for plausibil- Best Plot: Spawn (a classic, but you can pick up I dig into my bag and ity and character depth than back issues in paperback) hold my bounty aloft, who has the coolest powers. Best Art: Generation X (Chris Bachaelo "Yeah, but look! X-Men Luckily for me, the Industry -cartoony and realistic at once) 350 came out." She has learned that I'm not Best Character: Dead Pool throws her hands up, I alone. They've created more kick my books off and books and resampled old Pricks settle down to one kick- ones to make the stories Worst Plot: Anything by Rob Liefield ass afternoon. interesting and the heroes Worst Art: Anything by Rob Liefield You see, comics are one and villains more realistic. of my few great joys in Although, admittedly, there and finally... life. Apart from writing, are quite a few still out there Worst Character: Anything by...Rob Liefield! drinking and smoking, that have been left in the there is nothing I would comics cromagnon age. ------·-·------;------= ------T)HE WUSB TOP 30 11/10/97

1- Flying Saucer Atack - New Lands 2- Juliana Hatfield - Please Do Not Disturb 3- Fatboy Slims - Better Living Through Chemistry 4- Hurricane #1 - s/t 5- Bob Dylan - Time Out Of Mind 6- Aphex Twin - Come To Daddy 7- Verve - Urban Hymns 8- Toasters - Don't Let the Bastards Grind You Down 9- Brian Jonestown Massacre - Give It Back 10-Snowmen - In Orbit 11-Death In Vegas - Dead Elvis 12-Tindersticks - Soundtrack: Nenette et Boni 13-Atari Teenage Riot - Burn, Berlin, Burn 14-Bjork - Homogenic 15-Cramps - Big Beat From Badsville 16-Stereolab - Dots and Loops 17-Holiday - Cafe Reggio 18-Jonathan Fire Eater - Wolf Songs For Lambs 19-Isotope 217 - Unstable Molecule 20-Steve Earle - El Corazon 21-Cornershop - When I Was Born For the Seventh Time 22-Dubstar - Goodbye 23-Autumns - Angel Pool 24-Promise Ring - Nothing Feels Good 25-Mumia Abu-Jamal - Spoken Word 26-Mogwai - Young Team 27-Ralph Carney - Ralph Sounds 28-An April March - It Goes Without Saying 29-Hi Fi Killers - Loaded 30-Frank and Walters - Indian Ocean WUSB 90.1 FM The First Station of the '90s

NoVEMBER 12, 1997 PAGE 21 FEATURES 1111 ~~ ~ a ab-s, 5 ~sL~ bslse~c~ ~ca~ I · The Night THoeV nl iT BlaNTse e Didn't Sing "Happy Birthday" to Me By Squirrel the first entitled "Songs You Haven't Heard" and Johns queerly eye my friends and I. My heart fal- the other their normal set of old songs. The other tered as I dropped the sign and gave into a pure hop- Four of my friends and I stood patiently outside John (Linnel) begins a heavy distortion intro. of the ping/dancing frenzy all through "Twisting", "She's the Mercury Lounge on May sixth, at sometime band and flows straight into "You're older than Actual Size", and "I Palindrome I". Sweating and around eightish. Repeatedly we checked (our you've ever been." They lied I had already heard grinning I thought nothing of my impending birth- watches, peered at the bouncer and worried that that one. Anyway since I didn't know the other day, I only cared about the music. the mural of KISS was going to come to life. Mosstly song I had to sneak a peak at the set list lying We all yarbled along to "Spiraling Shape" (a we bitched about how cold it was. I sucked down at Johns feet (I only got three names, song most definitely about Heroin Addiction), four or five cigarettes. "Triborough", "First Kiss", and "Ending with bopped during "Purple Toupee" and the classic It's times like those that I think about all the S;hit Lies" of which "First Kiss" was the best). "Don't Let's Start". The jumping only stopped I go through to see one of my favorite bands. As there first set winded down the crowd when we switched to a lambada for "S-E-X-X- "All the driving, parking, and waiting better be was just beginning to grow frantic, I was Y". Whew, finally a break I sparked again and damn worth it" I remark as the bouncer •beginning to sweat and my neighbors John L. let my self rest, for a whole ten seconds until a begins to take tickets and herd us indoors. I were looking angrily at the hat that I wore ripping, popping frenzy of "Dig My Grave" rush up too the front of the stage sadly pass- : (a neon green four foot stocking that was whip- that screeched straight into "Spy" and its glorious ing the bar and merchandise counter. In a few S ping them in the face). Hyper and coming five minute improv ending. I crashed and smoked seconds the pitifully small floor is filled with a down with a killer case of tinitus I lit up a cig my way through "How can I Sing Like a Girl", hey horde of Hyper-Nerds and Ultra-Trendies, all and let my heart slow it's thundering, it never was my favorite song. glad to be in from the chill. A half hour of set- Again we waited, my friends asked when we My companions and I were ready for them as tling in and writing out my banner ("Hey John F. would hold up my banner and I replied "after they tackled "Till My head Falls Off", "Snail Shell", Johns tomorrow is my birthday could you their fourth song". One cig down and sparking "Spider", and "The Guitar". I dripped sweat sing Happy Birthday Glenn") passes all too slovvly a second I bump into a completely drunk girl. We dropped my jacket and took a rest until the until the opening band LINCOLN arrives. begin amusing ourselves by pounding on the thanked us for coming and began to play three I had never seen them before and was pleasaritly tables (it was like a bad rendition of "Stomp" for more songs. My wearied limbs took control of my surprised at the quality of their Weezer/Tom Petty free). The crowd turned on us angrily as I turned mind and made me groove to "Particle Man", style songs. Even after only six songs I determirled up my nose and kept pounding. Fifteen minutes "James K Polk", and "New York City". Over, thank that I was to buy their CD on the way out. and two sore hands later the lights drop and the the lord it was over I was too damn tired, I Again we waited as LINCOLN departed an(d a Johns headed back on stage. slumped into the car slept all the way home and couple of jerks began to force their way to the staige. Not wasting time they blasted into "Sleeping in the crawled into bed. Taken aback as the jerks jump on stage and turn out Flowers" destroying all my complaints about the I awoke half deaf, slightly ill from the potatoes I to be none other than TMBG themselves. Right off night. This was the TMBG that I knew and Loved. had for breakfast. Oh I was also five hours late for the bat John Flansburgh announces that "Anywh ere Not missing a beat they stormed through "ANA class. Fuck School, Fuck my birth day I had a great on the streets we can find better weed than the crap NG" and slowed to a brief stop after "Lie Still Little time and to think, they're playing every Thursday we're smoking." Ha ha very funny. John checks his Bottle" and "Pet Name". Fourth song, now was my through November. IN other words, don't expect guitar and says that they will be playing two s4ets, chance I raised my banner high only to have the to see me on Friday for a while. SUPH

By Joanna Wegielnik and Heather Rosenow Thus far, one of our most interesting anthropo- $0.75). Just what exactly the gentleman waS inquir- logical discoveries at Waldbaum's (may we take ing about, we do not know as of yet. BoBoLi. Once again our lives have crossed paths with a this opportunity to credit Professor Guy For the dirty monkey in your life, or lack there of, wonder of glowing capitalism. We must apologize Cleveland as our source of divine inspiration and try 'Froster's Creamy Head Mixer' which can be for the delay in our update, but Ms. Duncan made fortitude in our present quest - please see Goon found in Aisle 14. An all purpose chemical which a short trip back to the Isle of Leprechauns to bond Watch), has been the intricately complex speech can double to stimulate your boyfriend's lifeless and consume beautiful pints of joy. However, we pattern and verbal lexicon of the employees. staff or perhaps add some spice to your date with are now prepared to once again inundate your Besides the "Your talkin' Perdue, I'm talkin' Rosy Palm and her five sisters. BoBoLi. senses with a detailed description of this awe- Tropicana" quip, we have managed to overhear For your listening pleasure and edification, inspiring temple of consumerism. other examples of everyday language while requests can be made for old-skool Madonna or Ice- In our previous article, dear reader, we promised observing the subjects in their natural environ- T ("I'm a big-dicked supreme white woman's you a foray into the depths of employee vernacular ment. BoBoLi. In a previous expedition, one of the dream"). Please see Customer Service desk. Dance and personal hygiene habits, in addition to snaaaazy native light-bulb engineers was overheard yelping sexy to their tunes while browsing through the gift ideas. Where to begin? Aisle 10 offers a most in Aisle 9, "I'm goin' scoutin' ahead, boys." A Frozen Food section. ACHTUNG, LADIES!!! Beware interesting selection of useless high-powered kitchen very interesting expression which we believe has of elusive Manager X working undercover picking appliances, BoBoLi, and fire-proof oven mitts in a significance in regard to hunting and/or mating up girls as they pick up their fish sticks! BoBoLi! variety of pastel colors. With the holiday season fast patterns. This has yet to be determined. We, being rabid pinko commies and realizing approaching, one nifty gift idea would be the sumo- One of the male subjects, who identified himself Waldbaums is a corporate giant, made inquiries wrestler oven mitt, perhaps for your favorite uncle, as 'Front-end Manger X' upon initial contact, into union status of employees. We are happy to complete with an itsy-bitsy yellow speedo. engaged us in a philosophical debate about the report Local __ _ (our notes were "disappeared" Your mamma's home cookin' may vastly improve importance of freshly wrapped sandwiches. "May under very questionable circumstances by a mem- with the help of the '6-Speed Burst of Power Mix- I just say, we piss on Seven-Eleven." Right on ber of our staff to be known only as "The Fascist"), Master'. This fine example of Swedish engineering brother! We found him to be one of the most treats employees in a very good way. They good retails for only $39.99, a small price to pay for evolved managers to ever grace the waxen floors people. Everyday people. Like the guy who works lump-free beets. For your least favorite sibling, we of a grocery store. "What supermarket could be so at Country Deli across the train station. A good, highly recommend 'les Des-Idees Fumantes', a use- bold to say they have a better beer selection than good man. Everyday man. Like the Pizza man. less Frog invention which nonetheless will provide us? I dare say none." We have strong reason to Good man. Good people.WARNING. Heads will that little piss-bag brother of yours with hours and believe Manger X was a Theater Major in college. roll if the Union fucks with our good people. You hours of entertainment. If you happen to find your- Sir, you are a gentleman and a scholar. may interpret that as you will. BoBoLi. self in the unfortunate and compromising position "You know what always happens to me? What Folks, it's been a pleasure working on this series. of failing this particular semester, may we recom- the heck goes on there Stony Brook? (a reference to Unfortunately, all good things do come to an end, mend a skip down to Waldbaum's to purchase a USB???) My picture, is it nice?" said the amicable as this series must. Adieu, Adieu, till we meet 'Self-Pulling Cork Screw' for that particularly abra- man serving pizza at the 'In-Store Chef' counter. again in a parallel universe where sheep rule the sive, snot-ridden, puss-bag "Professor". BoBoLi. Yes folks, they actually serve pizza here (retails at skies and squirrels die en masse. BoBoLi.

THE STONY BROOK PRESS PAGE 22 _I~-a~,- Ir~-asaa~·~~ -·~-r ~~ - ~·r4 3C~Ls I%~-X1~LIC- ~ ·~ -·~- L ~s~~- · ~hsll~&IQLt~sBB~BIQT4~ ---· 1 - ~~LIFEATURES

By Lowell Yaeger n't made Jane's Addiction run; he got the right people "Slow Divers", which was omitted from the self-titled into the right place at the right time and wrote vague- live album that the band released on Triple XXX ly trippy lyrics for funk-punk anthems that updated Records, is slow, unimaginative, and boring -- the kind Led Zeppelin for an end-of-the-millennium audience. of soporific intro Jane's Addiction would occasionally Everything was fine and dandy until last year, when dream up before their live shows while in the grip of Farrell & Perkins got back together with Dave a heroin torpor. "Maceo" is a heart-warming song Navarro and the bassist of his current band, Flea, to about Perry's cat, which doesn't quite fit in with the record a song called "Hard Charger" -- a fierce little rest of the music on the disc -- or Jane's Addiction's rocker that could've stood with the best of Jane's music in general -- but nevertheless makes for a dull Addiction's former material. And things looked good. spot on an otherwise dull CD. Last and least is the They were talking again, working together again, and acoustic "City", a ditty arranged during the filming of perhaps one of the better bands that had walked the the Soul Kiss that has about as much redeeming value face of alternative music might be ready to give it as the KISS solo LPs. another go around. The remainder of the album is given over to live Unfortunately, "Hard Charger" was the exception, material, a dubious prospect due to Jane's Addiction's Jane's Addiction and not the rule. The "relapsed". Jane's Addiction, penchant for fractured performances. While "Three Kettle Whistle which finds Flea in Eric Avery's shoes (Avery being Days" is a masterpiece of coherency and power -- and Warner Bros. the only member smart enough to skip out on too may, live or studio, remain Jane's Addiction's most much of a good thing), has released a 15 track mish- moving work -- the rest of the songs reflect a band Some bands know when to quit. The Pixies put out mash of out-takes, demos, live recordings and -- gasp! composed of members interested only in themselves. two albums that were progressively less up-to-snuff -- new songs. The material is, at best, redundant, and Dave Navarro had a habit of soloing nearly as much as than their predecessors and realized they'd lost it, so at worst, intolerable. Vernon Reid of Living Colour, Eric Avery often got they broke up. Other bands don't know when to stop. The .new work is especially embarrassing. Both bored with the rest of the band and did his own thing, The Cure has absolutely no idea that they don't have "Kettle Whistle" and "So What!" sound rehashed and leaving Stephen Perkins floundering to follow the a drop of talent left within them, and continue to drag tired; they drift between exemplary Porno For Pyros band's "leader", Farrell, who was usually mumbling the joke past its stretching point, like a Saturday Night songs and self-indulgent experiments in jamming and nonsensities into the microphone and interrupting the Live skit that doesn't know it's done. studio wizardry -- especially "So What!", which finds songs to complain about the audience's lack of partic- Until recently, I had thought Jane's Addiction knew Farrell imploring the listener to not go back to work ipation. Which makes "Ain't No Right", "Stop!", and when to quit. After Ritual de lo Habitual, an excellent and enjoy his music instead. I'd rather clean the peep- "Whores" such complete and total disasters. ("Up the album that nevertheless had its share of duds and mis- booths in Times Square than listen to "So What!" again. Beach" doesn't sound so bad, but I think that's four takes, mounting heroin problems, increasing popular- The demos are just that -- demos. There's a reason because it's so damn simple that not even these ity, and inter-band friction caused a break-up that they never made it past that point, and anyone listen- could fuck it up.) and couldn't have happened at a better time. Guitarist ing to this CD is forced to discover why. "Ocean Size" With a thick booklet of reprinted photographs Dave Navarro popped a sock on his cock for the Chili comes across as dry and flat, while "Had A Dad" eloquent liner notes by the verbose Henry Rollins like Peppers, bassist Eric Avery disappeared, and drum- makes the mistake of blending Gothic Hunchback-Of- ("Perry was the cool spaz stick man who looked passing mer Stephen Perkins followed the money, i.e. Farrell, Notre-Dame bells with what is essentially a rock-punk large shots of electricity were constantly piece of into the unfortunate Porno For Pyros, a project that piece. "Slow Divers" and "My Cat's Name Is Maceo" through him"), this is a very well-rounded coprophiliac, demonstrated once and for all its lead singer's lack of were recorded in 1986 and 1987, but no amount of stu- crap. If your taste in music runs to the creativity and glut of bombast. In the end, Perry had- dio tinkering in 1997 could pull them out of the muck. then this turd's for you!

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By Keith Filaski throughout while a slow, brooding beat holds the dance industrial. I don't think I need to describe it noise together. A nice touch, however, is what any more that that. Bowie, backed up by Trent For nearly three years now, Canadian noise/tech- sounds like church bells towards the end, further- Reznor himself, screams, "I'm afraid of Americans no band Download, has been releasing a constant ing the gloom of the song. / I'm afraid of the world / I'm afraid I can't help flow of some of the most innovative music from My advice for Download is to rethink their beats it", I guess David isn't very fond of us. The end has their side of the "alternative" music spectrum. and hire a new singer before it is too late. Another Bowie repeating, "God is an American", now I'm Consisting of cEVIN KEY and, the late Dwayne meager album like this could put a halt to the inno- not sure of his religious standpoint, but I don't Goetel, both formerly of Skinny Puppy, Mark vative music which they have created. I can only think David is trying to be flattering. Spybey of Dead Voices on Air, and numerous hope that their two upcoming EP's, which as of yet Version 2- Different beat, different music, same guests, Genesis P. Orridge of Psychic TV for exam- do not have release dates, will be of better quality. vocals, sort of boring. Version 3- I don't know ple, Download have, in the past, combined techno One is reported to have remixes by Autichre, a band where Bowie and Reznor were trying to go with and dance beats, sound sampling and manipula- similar to Download, and should be interesting. this version, but I'm sure that they never got there. tion reminiscent of cEVIN KEY's work in Skinny Along the same lines as Download and also pos- Guest vocals by Ice Cube? Are they trying to get On their sales from the hip-hop listeners? Did Bowie want Puppy, and often distorted and incomprehensible sessing cEVIN KEY as a member, is Plateau. lyrics. "DUTCH FLOWERS" (Cleopatra) single, the band to sing along with someone more angry at America On Downloads latest album, simply titled uses much more conventional techno beats than than he is? Whatever their motives, this version is "III"(Nettwerk), the ingredients which have so Download, but still possesses computer generated just bad. often worked for the band, fall apart. The main noises and unconventional keyboard lines. Pateau is Version 4-Take version 1, distort it, add rumbling, thing lacking on this album is lyrics. Genisis P. more creative than normal techno, but it could still shake, and skip to the next version. Orridge, who has performed guest vocals on a fit in at any rave. I don't have anything else to say Version 5- A further venture by Reznor into the number of their best tracks, makes no appearance about this band being that I haven't been able to world of jungle. Version 6- Any track over 8 min- on this album, which, in part, accounts for the loss locate any of their albums, and the internet hasn't utes long has to hold your attention with of vocals. Adding to this is the loss of Mark Spybey given up any useful information on the subject. some form of musical genius which this 11 minute who has been a part of Download since their first I have always been fond of David Bowie, but only track does not have. album, and who also has sung on many tracks. in a greatest hits capacity. I don't even own any of The first track of the "I'm afraid of Americans" Also missing from this album are the creative his actual albums, and probably never will, but i (Virgin) single is the only one worth listening to dance beats reminiscent of past albums. For "II" heard the reproduced version of his song "I'm which does not make this disc worthwhile. I know the beats have been replaced by erratic, computer Afraid of Americans" by Trent Reznor, mildly that Bowie has "sold out" in the past solely to make generated drum lops, nearly jungle in nature, but enjoyed it, and decided to pick up the single. Here money, but this is ridiculous. He releases a single much more irritating. is a rundown of the six versions on the single. called " I'm afraid of Americans" knowing that the The only track resembling past works is Version 1- I'm guessing that this is the closest ver- majority of the people buying it will be cheesy lit- "Bellshaw", but even here there isn't much to speak sion to the original. tle Trent Reznor wannabes? Hell Mr. Bowie, you of. Various forms of static used as notes are played The music is typical Nine Inch Nails style, noisy, are right. I'm afraid of Americans too.

NOVEMBER 212,1997 PAGE 23 THE FINAL WORD - -q, IbL~ - -- -- I - ~ -P-·-~------4 ~ 1C ------C - - - 9~--YBD~---P--·-~g- ~R~C - ~-- ~Jslkl~-~e ~ 9OU 9ll

By Staff defects rarely discussed in introductory biology classes. her, don't bother studying or listening in class, because it The course also stimulates reflective thought on ethical just won't do you any good. At one point, I actually found This week, the administration released the academic issues associated with human reproduction and their myself asked to regurgitate the name of Sir Gawain's horse schedule for the Spring 1998 semester. As always, students impacts on society. Much controversy often arises from in SIR GAWAIN AND THE GREEN KNIGHT (and yes, around campus will go nuts choosing what classes they arguments based on false assumptions of biology. Dr. you foul old bitch, I still remember the correct answer). might want to take, only to re-evaluate their choices five or Carlson does not advocate a particular set of values, but This kind of information is not the kind of thing college six times as the whim strikes them. instead he tries to make students think about the implica- students should be tested on. Retarded children learning Why bother with all that, when you can take our advice? tions of biology. memorization through the process of shock therapy might Here, then, are some of our favorite -and least favorite- be asked that kind of question, but not college students pay- classes for next semester. BIO/GEO 353 ing hard earned money to further their own education. Do Marine Ecology not take this teacher, do not take any of her courses, and do ANT 102 Prof. Jeffrey Levinton not take anyone who thinks of her highly seriously, because Intro to Cultural Anthropology Even the most avid landlubbers will develop their sea legs in they are either joking, deranged, or paid to bring more Prof. William Arens this exciting journey through various oceanic environments. sheep to the slaughter. ANT 102 is one of those classes worth taking simply for The course began with an introduction to basic principles entertainment value. Bill Arens, the professor, is also head of oceanography, ecology, and evolution. Dr. Levinton dis- HIS 376 of the Anthropology department, but he's hardly your typi- cussed important processes and challenges facing organ- U.S. Foreign Relations Since 1920 cal academic. Arens is well known in his discipline for his isms in the water column and the sea bed in an entertaining Prof. Michael Barnhardt book "The Man Eating Myth," in which he lists his argu- medley of trivia and wit. Unlike HIS 375 (to 1920), this class is dynamic, interesting, ments against the existence of ritualized cannibalism Since marine biology is a and informative. Barnhardt, an award-winning throughout history. diverse subject, the second half professor, dazzles the class with his vast knowl- In other words, here's a guy who has built a career and a of the course focused on specif- edge of global history and critical wit, and the sub- reputation on the phenomenon of eating people. You know ic environments such as estuar- ject matter needs little improvement. 'he's got to be interesting. ies, kelp forests, coral reefs, salt The period from 1870 to 1990 was a lively Intro to Cultural Anthropology is worth taking just on the marshes, and sea grass beds. period in American history to study. But this basis of subject matter; its overview of lineage, behavior, Human impacts on the sea course is not easy, for Barnhardt prides himself and so on is fascinating even for the non-anthropologist. It's including pollution and fishing on never giving A's. basically a class about why people do what they do. The real were discussed with an empha- reason, however, to take ANT 102 this spring is Bill Arens. sis on Long Island and New PHI 306 Not only does Arens know the subject (as well he should, York Harbor. Dr. Edwards considering "The Man Eating Myth" is on the syllabus), but Students were also required to The benefits to taking this class are manifold. he's mighty entertaining. Arens delights on interacting with write three short papers during On the practical side of things, this class fulfills the students, which is unusual for such a large lecture class. the semester. These papers DEC category I, and the 13 class upper division He comes up with nicknames for the goofier students in the were no sweat, however, for Dr. requirement for graduation. This class on mod- class, flirts with the ladies, and picks mercilessly on those Levinton provided many valu- em philosophy will also give you a nice solid who show up late or dare to sleep in class. able resources on his marine survey of Modern Western philosophy. Fascinating subject matter and a knowledgeable and biology web page. On the aesthetic side, you do well to attend class faithfully entertaining professor... you can't go wrong. Unless you Last May, students were also treated to a field trip to the and enjoy DrEdwards' lectures which are intelligent, witty, like to nap. Spartina salt marsh at the Flax Pond Marine Biological and patient. One caveat: If you do not write well, or enjoy Laboratory in Old Field. Everyone spent a merry afternoon writing well, or do not wish to learn to write well, Dr. ANT 104 mucking around in the marsh, observing the flora and Edwards' useful suggestions may be lost on your empty head. Intro to Archaeology fauna. Dr. Levinton insisted on hands-on participation, and When I took this class, exams were essay format and there Dr. John Shea he passed around smelly anoxic sediment, chased after hap- were a couple of papers. I took 306 in the rush of summer, ANT 104 is an overview of the science of Archaeology; less fiddler crabs, and stuck raccoon droppings and various there may be more tor you to do with the extra time. what archaeologists do, how they do it, and why. The course creatures in the hands of the squeamish. On a final note- this class is intended for philosophy equally balances history and facts with practical applica- Although this class fulfills upper-division requirements majors or those with the equivalent knowledge o( general tions. Students learn not only about the history of our world for biology and geology majors, humanities students philosophical principles. No one will deregister you if you and its people, but how we now study and learn from it. should be able to complete it successfully. The textbook, haven't got these, but you may find the class somewhat In the wrong hands, this material could suffer. There's a written by Dr. Levinton himself, is relatively easy to read incomprehensible unless you are a bit diligent and do some lot of great stuff there, but it's just dry enough that a suffi- compared to more technical biology books. extra reading to put you on par. ciently dull professor could make it incredibly painful. The most important thing to keep in mind in Marine There are many other classes in the philosophy department Luckily, John Shea's in charge. Ecology is to have fun. The only prerequisites in addition that I would like to sell you on, but I had them with differ- In a department as diverse and wacky as Anthropology, to the introductory biology courses are curiosity and a ent professors than those who will teach them this spring. it's hard to stand out as a particularly interesting personali- sense of humor. Dr. Levinton shows great enthusiasm in For brave souls, take PHI 220, regardless of instructor. The ty. Nonetheless, John Shea is consistently a favorite sharing his love of the sea with his students, and his lec- homework may eat away at what little social life you have, amongst students. tures are sure to captivate one's mind. but you just may start to learn how to order your thoughts. Shea's classes are both informative and entertaining. Otherwise ordinary material is made fascinating with the EGL whatever PSY 380 benefit of Shea's stories and anecdotes about famous Dr. Diane Fortuna Research Lab in Human Cognition anthropologists and historians. Want the real dirt on other- I have to admit, most of the professors I've had at this uni- (a.k.a. Ratlab) wise famous academes? This is the place to get it. Also of versity are, at worst, incompetent. Sure, I've dealt with the In this class, you will learn about experimental method- interest is Shea's use of impressions and mimicry; no other occasional English-less TA, and the occasional hardass, but ologies through lectures and labs. You will program and professor on campus is going to use twelve different those are to be expected at any large university. (Especially run a number of cognitive psychology experiments and you accents in the course of a class. one which seems to choose its professors based on their will also formulate, design, implement, and write-up your A final highlight is Shea's in-class demonstration of flint- performance on Sally Struthers degree-at-home examina- own experiment. This class is probably the most challeng- napping. An expert in the construction and use of stone tions.) However, one professor that I was forced to endure ing class offered by the psychology department, but it also tools, Shea takes a period late in the semester to show the in my third semester at Stony Brook sticks out, and since one of the most valuable. All psychology graduate schools class how primitive man made knives, spear points and the she's still an infestation here, I think it's only fair to warn look for applicants who have successfully taken an like. It's a rare opportunity to see anthropology in action. unsuspecting students about her. Her name is Diane advanced research lab. Many of the better programs require Fortuna, and she is a professor in the English Department. such a class (as do many top undergraduate psych pro- BIO 300 She is old. In appearance, she most closely resembles one grams). If you're seriously considering graduate school in The Biology of Human Reproduction of those women you see wandering around outside old-age any area of psychology, you should take PSY 380 and do Prof. Elof Carlson homes, grinding their toothless gums together and mutter- very well in it. Aside from the graduate-school stick, PSY This in-depth course on human sexuality at the cellular ing under their breath about their worthless children who 380 will give you a much better understanding of what and molecular level offers a refreshing alternative to the never visit. Fortuna doesn't talk to herself and she's sharp as most of psychology is all about: designing and implement- common "how-to" approach in most classes that satisfy a whip, but she's also the embodiment of the term "hag". ing experiments. If you intend to become a psychologist, it students' curiosity about themselves. I've seen her call on people in class, break down their certainly behooves you to learn how to do such things as BIO 300 is organized as a course primarily for non- answer into the multiple ways it is wrong, and break down soon as possible. Additionally, for your own benefit, this is majors, with one year of introductory biology as a prereq- the student by using his or her answer to illustrate how stu- not a psych class that you should take without having the uisite (101-102 or 151-152). pid the student is. For reasons unbeknownst to anyone else, prerequisites (stats, research methods, and intro to cogni- Dr. Carlson converts highly technical medical terminolo- she insists upon assigned seating - something I thought I tive). If you do not have a reasonable grasp of the prereq- gy into simple and concise language suitable for non- left behind with hall passes and detention, but hey, silly me. uisite areas, you will struggle in PSY 380 and likely do majors very skillfully. He defines seven sexes of humans Her mood is erratic, and any hint of kindness or mercy is poorly. Finally, the name 'Ratlab' refers back to the good that influence morphology, genetics, and behavior. Also, really just a ploy to trick one into resting his or her guard. old behaviorist days of psychology when the experiments students explore mechanisms that cause the development Her tests are seemingly designed to produce the lowest were actually done using rats as subjects rather than under- of hermaphrodites, pseudohermaphrodites, and other grade possible. If for some reason you are forced to take graduates.

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