. .-T--p \. . : , ' .-$ ..;ip,..:x4 *. 4.:, - "fr.;. ..<;:.p8,- , . .' 1.6. 5,- <;.$ K*;', K*;', < N A LOOK AT hn, S REALLY GOING ON~., N TOW^'^^ WORD SEARCH "" '

AKADLTNDSLEGNAFOEGAR uBbrsLuw NMPSAOMCANMAAOQAWKAE Regarding the letters about the GSGKLROCK'CITYANGELSN 'Mormon Updatencolumn,someone EESERKEHCZPHEWFQN'VSN new t6 our 'pretty, great %ate" would LWQSLNNGDAMLNHIKELAI have a hard time seeing hat it's not yApA~w~I.Z~~~L FA^^^^ j~~fareligion,it'sthed&antcul- ture. Those already inuddatki by it O A I O O sbuld recognize a joke when they A S0 A D EA T HA NG E L H T L N E , see one and lighten up. Vs* D'C L 5 PS 0 KC V X G D K A G PA W G overzealous,superstitiouspractl~ LQEZRAMEAHNONVNRIOLN that give fuel to the satire anyway. EAG I A F I FAA RCA NG E L KWA Thanksandkeepupthegoodwork- Sincerely, GSNQOCALCYJKSFEYRAQT Brien Staker Scott Vice, Lars Telluride NlAAEKQlJQHAPGLUlCVH Matt Taylor, JohnZeile ADKFMORBIDANGELKATSG SLUG, Chopper, Stim Boy SARVATCGHMTRXLSDMCAI Why don't you go to the Under- CONTRIBUTING ARATCSIYC.AGEARGNASVN Undergroundand cover some of the smallerbandsundertheevensmaller I A , A record labels? Such as)(XX Records, A A O A A they are the best or even Doctor XETGLEGNAHTNEVESOSPV Dream Records ... and bands such ANGLECXSAAEIJQAWSAEO as TENDER FURY or CADILLAC TRAMPS or BLACK GRASS. ~din~mllmiisir8wn~~k~~tttn~~ustSteve Wondering Babcock

Stormy, Margie Alban, spawned a lot 01 bads nahd ~lferkpl helll: Ed Note: Hey stewwhy don'tyou? Dan Keough, Private Eye ANGEL FIFTH ANGEL We justprlnt the siuff. a ANG~LWITCH MORBID ANGEL Dear Slug, ARC ANGEL OVERNIGHT ANGEL Give me a fucklng bkk~our DARK ANGEL RAGE OF ANGELS review of the Bad Yodelers E.P. is DEATH ANGEL ROCK CITY ANGELS totally laughable. 'Terrence D.H.'s DESOLATION ANGELS SEVENTH ANGEL voice matures like aging wine, ELECTRIC ANGELS deepening in resonance and pitch." You and that write for SLUG should spend lesstime boostingfluffs IIkeTerrence D.H., and insteadstrive for objective

40Ii tot a problem with 8omthhfl we pr~tor IIO you even ghe PLEASE WRITE US r rm~we!, m u.. Donr be r wwr! 8md u8 a !no or two SLUG MAGAZINE P.O. BOX 1061 Dlckheads @ SLU6 SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH P.O. Box 1061 841 10-1061 Salt Lake CRY, Utah 841 10-1061

.------VERY MUCH!!! .....,.

MUSIC AWARDS C) stone pony (VOTE WRw, VOTE o~w;'q ~mt,,musk mwrrhan* .coustia thrn Spclnky'si THEN SET A UR.) A) Capitol Bldg. Rotunda B) A racquetball court 1) Beat band femturing a hmak who C) n, ktcave ha8 told at k..t one bartendor "No, D) stonepony, I'm Nth. fucking bandl": A) Commonplace B) Doghouse C) The Heights D) Stone Pony

2) Baot bmd featuring a guitrist nund Andre: A) Mind at Large 11) Beat radio.station to hw local 8) Prodigal of Smiles musk by shut-ins with 8equencera C) Pablo Cruise or mgry suburb punks with a boom D) Stone Pony

9) Beat band. tor kry muqrmat- lordanto: , 11 5 S. WEST TEMPLE

'-ME 8:00 '

' 12) Bat musk critic who ahould '1 8.srt gtunge band but not lwlly spend a weekend in priron wearing gru* llthough tw kind look a prom dress and a splash of

A) Jeff ViiDeseret News B) Jeff ViDeseret News . C) Jeff ViDeseret News ' - D) Stone Pony D) Stone Pony

5) Bat industrklbndlikeyounrlly 13) Batband to Ity tothe next SXSW h.v.aChObbutthkba-wShowdown on Stevie Ray Vaughan SQ just play .long: A) Fractal Method 8) Two Ink Tacks C) A cement mixerwithMcauley Culkin C) ~b~di~~s~~~~R~~~ thrown in it D) Stone Pony 14) Bet band who diiappawed on Boat wm bmd the Vnilla Ice WiwProtection just pick one: Programafler intenseoverexposure: A) lrie Heights A) The Bachelors B) Zion Tribe C) Drcm Herbie Drown D) Stone Pony

7) Bat Qu-rwb DNA *ning 15) ktnicknmw for SLUG: rlm Dnrm Th..tn: A) Salt Lake UnlistenaMe Garbage

C) Any Rafter's band pushing the en- velope by ditching the CN~/ -OM: cast mwone vote in each Doken Big Note chord book cute go^. Rmtoc@s, carbon copies or D) Stone Pony , myon qmdwtionsgkrdly accepted. Don't everyone in sight with somewhat discernible vocals is And of course the malevdent theremake of last years single release, "Teetering.' It is a drivinq, rhythmic Martha Splatter head is here to do her part, in "She's Back:" "Slamming your song with the classic feel of Golden Minbtheconcrete,agaSnandagain, Eaning'saRadarLove." The lyrics, 'I've is songs, most cu~leanom premus again and again.' And again, there is got to get out of here right now," sum- recordings, some previously a 60's cowr tune; although THE AC- mon claustrophobia and near panic. Clinaher is a dark, powerful blend unreleased. '8 Songs about babes, 12 CUSED don't so much cover as blud- are Songs about death, 7 about Nothing,' geon-senseless-end-maturely-inter of sludge and dense noise. There FAITH 8 DISEASE sez the inlay card ... Idon't know about theantique pophitgGreen-Eyed-bdy; no loose ends, TAR plays as tight as the strings .wound around the cok of a Jrdrrmb that, but I do know this: this the most Which unexpectedly dlsplays some bizarre, absolutely unique, doesn't- actual, melodic singing. "dincher: Don't lum~them in with the ABArrrm nmcort sound-like-ANYTHING-elseband that But THE ACCUSED are at their glut of noise guitar bands. The sheer Listen up chellovecks and Utah has ever spawned. May.be it's best when they just balls-out rip and intensity of their rhythmic noise, [i devotchkas, and all my ddgs in the because they're from Bountiful. (Ever tear. The solid, driving rhythm section them soaring from the pit. underground. orangeis the wmyaand been to Bountiful? It's a nice place to of bassist Alex and latest-drummer 9q THE COLOUR THEORY is the eegra! live, butyouwouldn'twantto visitthere.) Devin keeps the band's feet on the Yes it's a new one from one of salt These 26 tunes are strange, nervy, ground-just barely-while Tommy's POW0 Lake's little recognized bands and this off-center,dissonant, tragicomic, lively, teeth-gnashin' riff-crashin' guitar work 4 single is bound to make you creech unexpected, and utterly original. The and Blaine's buly-dementedvocals (he 10&J".8AC~~WI ~~ttyk* ' 1 and crark with excitement and vred onlythinglcanthinkofthatevencomes sounds kind of like Darby Crash after a Shit, life is good! Not only is wnyl your yarbles honorshow. close is The Residents' early material coude of hits of crackanda six-~ckof starting to re-emerge as a viable com- A send-up to the zammechat, A (like the Commercial Album.) But, this bat& acid) combine to create'agrisly modity for independent labels, but' CIockwork Orange, Orange is a hard doesn't sound like The Residents. I alternative to the surgical-strikeguitars POLVO has released their second rocking lomtick of vinyl that'll crack don't know what it sounds like... and cookie-!donst& vocals of their record as well. Yes, I can call them your gulliver and have you back beg- The easy thing would be to dis- younger 'death metal" musical cous- records again, it's me. Ihave a record ging for more of the ultraviolence. miss this as mere throw-away comedy ins. It seems a little strange that the sitting in front of me. Itsays POLVOon Slooshy this one, with all its Damned material, but, there's more than that sheer ferocity of this ten-year-ddband it, against a vast yellow background glory: heavy power chords, pounding going on here. Some genuine good sbould leave them sounding newer with a CD size picture of small lions bass and drums and deep vocals with playing and good songwriting are andfresherthan many bands a fraction with horns. So much for the artistic catchy poplpunk zwks of Singing In present here, lurking beneath the ap their age; but in a musical world where values of vinyl. The Rain. This is a well crafted wdle parently-trivialsurface like a mud-shark there can actually be such a thing as a As forthe artisticmeritsofPOLVO, hat bmsheavily from the film but it under your living-room carpet. This "traditional death metalsound,' Iguess let me just say that this is one of the, works, and it works well. music probably sounds REAL COOL anything is possible. most enjoyable finds in a long time. If On the flipside is the final install- when you're on drugs. The raw underproduction of this you're tired of every end these days, ment of the anthemic Steel Glass It's hard to pick out individual LP (recorded and mixed in six days) taking tothe garage sound like sweat to 1 Shadow 111. Like its predecessors, it tracks, because they're all pretty imparts a live-like feel that is fully ap. an armpit, and coming out stinky, then ; drives hard, with lyrics shouted out at strange; but I especially like the deep, propriate tothe gruesome subjectmat- maybe you shouM give this a shot. I intenral$-a sing along favoritel insightful lyrics of 'Nacixem Love ter and relentless pace of this pemi- Their first release last year threw Jardeu Blue is the second single Songs" and "Quest For Platypus," or cious little gem. This is music that up this wall of sound that carried itself from Seattle's FAITH & DISEASE and the subtle, haunting melodies of 'Pizza invokes the same kind of spastic glee along with a wash of intensity and ai their first in collaboration with AlDA Master" and 'X-Ws Time Ded Birds." you felt when you got your very first distinctly buzzy guitar sound. It was the .:HOUSE RECORDS. It is another You can buy this tape for $5 at switchblade. Unfortunately, it is also kind of album that is defined by the Zhaunrng tune that spins around musi- Imagine Music, and I think you should. probably the last such blood bath, as whole, and not by the individual songs. cally, accented by female vocals that Ialso think you should follow the band Tommy has reportedly quit for good to And it was good. Now they are back, propel the song in all its beauty. There home, and buildanestinthewawlspace play in Gruntruck, and rumor has itthat the best name in the business and a is a frailty to the music, as if the song underneath their house; then you coqld Blaine has also takenawalk. If so, this serious amount of talent. might fall apart at any moment or blow listen to them all the time. But, the tape is a fitting swan-song for the Seattle Today's Active Lifestyles con- f away with a strong wind. Yet there is first; it'sgot real high-tech,state-of-the- sickos and their murderous mascot. tinue the definition of PqlVWs unique underlying strength from the hythm art productionand packaging. Besides, Turn it up loud, stand back, and watch sound, which consists of making their section of the band that holds it to- if you don't buy it, you'll get warts the blood fly1 guitars do things their mator never gether and keeps it turning around and -The Subhuman -The Subhuman. intended. At times hey sound like - around. they're being tortured, but in a . The single wasn't available at sadomasochistic way. Elsewhere it if xess time butthe b-sidelistedis crown THE ACCUSED turns downright giddy and you find OdSwrow. FAITH & DISEASE isafine TAR yourself laughing out loud at sound.' offering of Seattle's music scene and a s$-m Concentrateeven further and it all tums supriseto anyone who thinks Wash- (n#tvrn Ento a bizarre ritual with layers upon! ington is only home to grunge and riot. ' Is it 'Death Metal?" Is it hard- Torch rrl L tayers of floating textures. There's not gmrls. core, thrash, punk? Noneof theabove. Imagine the music of shwt msW a !ot of range in the vocals, but thars It's iust what the title savs: Sdatter workers if they consbucted guitars of okay because they are addictive and R&I ~ndit'aa Seattle bakthiwon't aluminum and formed a band. TAR the perfect pitch to sweed you along be on MTV anytime soon! The fast and aren't sheet metal workers, but two the rest of the mass. It's beautiful, and furious killing frenzy that is their trade- members play custom made alumi- in my perfect world they'd be hanging - SUNSHINE 8 THE BIFFS mark slams through out this album, num guitars. out in my closet, gigging there every rivalling 1990's Grinning Like an Un- Clincher is the latest release from night. .8m1 8o~tOf CompmraUea dertaker for sheer psychopathic blood these Chicago residents. The 7-song But, who the hell are they? They (DI) lust. EP's title comes from the brand-name don'teven credit themselves anywhere This is the WEIRDEST recording Sure, there's some healthy of a 16-inchsoftball. TAR has the sound on the album. They do have a great I've heard in a long time. If you've sociopolitical outrage at work here in of pounding metal you would expect ~ictureandcreditto their sound man on heard this band before, then you al- songs li ke 'No Choicenor'Btutality and from aluminum guitars. The tempos ready knowwhat Imean. If you haven't Corruption;" there's even a couple of move along like a melting mass of their heard them yet, then your life is still relationship songs of the rejected-and- namesake. incomplete, and you better get one of dejected variety, 'Lettin' Go" and Lyricsareindecipherable overthe heir tapes before you die unfulfilled. "Tearin' Me Apart." Butthe main theme lurching guitars, throbbing bass and c This 60-minutecassette contains here is the ruthless, bloody murder of minimalist drumming. The only song her own style of singing, most dos@ compared to Cranes, but not so easily he 8 8cmpe categorized. She can be at once me IllPU - 8Pl82 'Mcand discordant, ethereal and dis FudcPavement,tharwaslastyear. turbing. Her voice rises from perf= 3EBADOH is the best thing I've heard pitch to off-key wanderings, nearb in years. Maybe that's because their shrieks of agony and despair that aug- music sounds like it came from a ga- mentthe music and give itawide range rage in 1967. It is almo'st out of a of emotion andvulnerability rarely heard I ALTERNATIVE MUSIC I garage. SEBADOH records live to four in a recorded format This is one of the mck in a house. most honest and powerful records I've RECORDS TAPES = CDs Jason, the main songwriterclaims heard since the days of The Birthday - James Taylor and Jim Croce as influ- Party. Pure, raw humanity opened up ences. The influences are acceptable for all to witness. Disturbing, hmw- NEW as far as lyrical content, but I can't ing, exultant! imagine ~ahror Croce using a guitar H.N.A.S. havemasteredthe art of with foursbingsas the lead insbment. sampling and blending sounds, both There is just a little too much their own and found, into records of and psychedelia present in the musical in- ambiance that could very well be ternretation. Sebadoh aets a nice little soundtracks for daily life and all it's p&dittiegoing only to hgenerate into glory, pleasure and ennui. Again them Freakout era Mothers of Invention. is a mix of the sublime and the chaotic, USED Don't stop reading, it isn't as retro with minor disturbances creeping into as i! sounds. 'Elixir Is Zog'gets into the the music unexpectedly and then dis- - tribal thing. Agitated Radii Pilot opens appearing again; only to retum in the like a B-52's song until Jason kicks in form of some other aural demon. From IMPORTS with his punk vocals. There's a little their earlier recordings to this, their grunge and some totally intense latest, H.N.A.S. have become virtuo- - rhythms.*Forced Love" is good for hair sos at the art of making sense out of flinging until the sudden tempo change chaos and turning it into music. This slows things way down. 'No Way Our record may test your idea Of what is and is funk . isn'tmusic, butitismuch mbaccesible 'Soul & Fire,'theopening song, is and beautiful than the more disjoin an achingly beautiful folk sang captur- NURSE WITH WOUND or HAFL ing all the pain of a braken romance. TRIO types of musicians. That one sang is wmh the price of the CD. Many today put the best song fisttind then oontinuedown- COP SHOOT COP hiUtomectiodty. B&Me & SC- gets better and better all the way through. Ask~~lrrrr Thii tape is an example of why I kve mdependent labels. A maigr label --Cop Shoot Cop's major label de- wouldn't touch anything this raw. That but on Intencope Records was re- 'is exactly why it is so good, hi-tech leased 3-30-93. Why do a review now, production would ruin the music, A. 2 months later? Because Ask Ques- classic if I've ever heard one. Better tions Later is unlike anything I've ever buy it now before a middle aged guy heard before. With two basses (one with a pony tail has them sign a con- tigh and one low) drums, metal, syn- tract. thesizers, and a voice that drives you -Wa crazy, they've formedagreatcombina- Son. OR JlVE COP SHOOT COP formed in July JACK of 88 in a New York basement. They my0 released their first release in January 89, HeadKik Fascimile, andtheir first HIRSCHE NlCHT AUFS SOFA tour in Jepan in Sept 89. Nowwith five Mmdk FUP 8chuh#egchatte releases, and five years touring, they DOY IlEeORDt are becoming a solid outfit that will certainly endure. I'veonly recently discovered DOM The new LP mixes all kinds of Records out of Germany and am elements to create their unique sound. amazed by what I have heard so far. They used violins on 'Cut To The These two releases represent a wide Chase,"an army cadence and whistles spectrum of music put out by the label and also are representatives of two on "$10 bill." This is not your typical industrial band either, in fact wing to dissimilar cwntries--Japan and Ger- categorizeCOP SHOOTCOP would be many. Japan's JACK OR JlVE are an quitedifficult. They kick ass with talent. . Rumor has it they are trying to set up a almagamation of atmospherics, dream pop end Japanese cultum inlaa unique show now in Salt Lake, so watch the and intensely interesting musical ven- pipers. If they do qme, chfick them lure. This is their second CD of which I out and buy the CD. :.I : .: am aware and they continue to aston- ish and amaze me. Asiansare not known for beautiful vocal musings but Chako has created M& M.! (the exciting adventures thereof) ISy Ken (because I need lhe money] Rand who flirted were dull, and my mo I I - Faster than a speeding syllogism! A SIIU~I lives acouplethousand miles awa -More powerful than an innuendo! Istarted to remember how much -Able to leap to tall conclusions in hate to shave, how much I hate f POINTY Bm ~avfor haircuts. and how much Is it Dave Barw on speed? Hunter It's time to address this busi- ioved to flap mi locks around 1 I 1 I S. ~hom~sonoi&? A ness of the goatee, the latest in punkmkgigs. Ialsoremember commie P.J. O'Rourke? No! It's male hipness. Is it fashion, rebel- how greasy and hot long hair is Media Man lion, or boredom? Could it be a What was I to do? passing fad or will the president of Well, I hate to pander to th Media Man!, disguised as a our great country one day be languor of fashion. Theonly time mi#-mannered writer, with teelance sporting one? And should any- truly got sucked into a majo/ his journaliiic sidekick Cato, the 1 body' really give a shit anyway? statement concerning fashionw m-m-Ep Wonder Kitty! fighs a newmdirlg Well I certainly do. when Istopped wearing underwe battle, verbalizalionalistically, for Write For Catalog I acquired my first goat just a afterwatching Betty Blue, butthat' rightiousness, lamorder, and the 1 Labels We Carry couple of years into college, back hardly noticeable. When my Nervous - Fury - Raucous American hnguage!.Retum with us in my hippie phase. At the time, it came back, I again thought it Camden Town - Polytone now b those thrilling columns of kind of seemed natural or at least merely instinct. You see, and Mare yesterweek! Media Man! Writes exciting to experiment with the hair electric razor is plugged into Stores Get In Touch again! on my face. My mornings in front onlysocket in the bathroom, wh For Wholesale Prices MediaMenl#l,Rand@tcU)Weedr of the mirror revealed patchy is hooked up tothe light dwitch. conlain21 spafye6saysprinteddbounda outcroppings below the cheek cheeplV as pmible to maximibe pmflts. $3 bones, which I certainly thought each,$5.50 for my 2 or N.50 for all three was cool but realited it looked like (spdy whicfr) arvers stemps and misb dlii.W~peyaMetoKenRand,1496 shit. Down around the chin was Born Born Dr., Wed Jordan, U 84084. Order another story, as Inoticed adistinct, loday1 Pfiwsgo up when the twmion ends1 consistent littleshrub begin to take form. Imust have liked it because Iwent with it, patiently waiting until it blossomed in full. <....,,A,,. .-,<;. .. .YAW* I don't recall seeing many of my brethren with similar growth at g that time. Ido remember some of 'TIAS the looks that people gave me while in public, and acknowledge the fact that I didn't have a single ..<'~>>~;:?..:',:; '.:. '.$., .,< -. z:.: b,.:...: ...... The only satisfaction Iactually did . :.. A'.- , ... I,, . . . .. achieve was in showing up at my from their chin. 5 ::" , . ;:. ;:. ; mom's housetotallyout of the blue, was filled with p ;:I: ,, ? :..:;. . ' >.: '1 '1 . .-, freaking the shit out of her. <.. . .&.. .. ., . ., All of. a sudden one day, a friend of mine pointed at my face and said "It looks like a golfball. was goat territory. There HAHAHAHAHAI" Thus ended my goats all shapes and sizes, days of the goat. Or so I thought. runty things, be After finally achieving what I forms, as well believed to be afull beard, bearing strokes of artistry that makes just the slightest resemblance to step back and say "Jesus.Ch Charlie Manson, Igave up on the whole hair thing, shearing both my locks and my face. It was quite pleasant to see a totally different, purchased at Nordstroms! No new me, all squeeky clean. Ieven when Iwalkdown the stre discovered something. My hair is with pride and curly! It's wavy as all shit. My those with slanderous world opened up. People offered running in their heads. " me jobs. Girls started talking to I say, as I twi meandcooked myfavoriiedinners. little friend on my chin. Life was easy. i I won't kid you, life was still --arum- dull. My job was dull, the women . w ------to dss ;anybody who hasn't been doing mrn)Uhg, or been part of %catteaas long as you have. If you say it just right, it cap really make you feel belterlhanthatotherperm,md~ more impcrtant So, the next time you see~wneonekyiqbfitintowhatyou are already doing, give them a good sock in the tit and call them a fuddn' Poser.

CHRISTIANS NotsincethegreatWithhunts and UmRdawionhastherebeenwdra nasv rash of these homd wanna-be- saint warriors springing fmm suburbs of every goddamn tcm of this atlistidly mpmsed counby. I m not down m THE X88 EHS Christians or non-Christians or anything lam not one b say *at isor is not in between. But these self-rightious hip, cool, ortlnely, butwhointhe helltokl Christians are dlystarting to get under X96 they oould, I haw followed the my skin. "modem music'hii loralongtime,and Itseemsthatevery6melhrmon my it seems when KCGL staW up a long TV, Donahue, Geraldo, 8. Sally Jesse time ago, the people who put it together am medatinga w between prostitubs did a pretty good job of pleying music &Christlans, or pornographers 8 Chris- !hat was intemsang and new. Now (ac- tians, or Plamed Parenthhood & Chris- tually for about a year or so) these sup liens. Now being raised christian, I posed same people are stll in contd of kamedathing or lwoaboutwhatthe b'i what they are calling almmative music. hand taught people way back in the Now, being dragged arwnd by their good old days. One of the first things I cormate nuts, lhese same pioneers learnedwasthatitsbesttorUmtheoher &playing the most washed-Up cqm cheek" and 'love Ihy neighbor." Some rate mush they canget their hands on. people cen do that, and others bomb If you tune in 06 a ~urdaynight or abortion dinics and by.@ shut down in the wee hours of the morning when I cable for the g8nefal public. start my day, you can hear the m I may not be the g-st philoso- bional new thing that habn'tbeen shoved phwof all limes butit beemsquitesimple up your ass so many times. Its worse to me: If you don't bdiin abortion than lisming lo Bob Seger owand than you shouldn't have one,if you don't over; not that irsthatbad, it'sjust that I've Ike Um nudity on cable N,have itdis- been listening lo it for fiben years. X96 connected, and if you can't corhml your hashqAio& beUmdbmaWswr~~ awlr ribmts by educating them thgn in town. Thev wear the 'Modern &Alter- donlby to putanend to all of my fdb natiue* &, (whiitakes a lot of guts +as. Mind your own business and stay these days) but I hear a bt of the same out of mine. songs on X96 that Ican hear on the top 40stahbnngprimeadwhing lime. Ireelly ha@to make acornplaint without ...... sqme sort of solution but sbling your ...... own radk station is a bit costly on mini- mum wage. KRCL has some good p I ...... gramming atthes, but itseems like you ...... have lowade through so much new age ... & Gralehrl Dead lo hear it, or memorize the schedule. Iguess the same is true in ~businebs,~~hbselltheprodud hat the moral majority mush heads de mand. ' Maybesincslhavealwaysbeenor / : ' --Tho Evil Cynic ha4 always hied lo be a pow, Ihaw 1 seen the biggest amount of hypocrisy of --Nexl month: Homophobic Assholes, all (except of course the Christian Fun- Avid Sports Fans and the Thirty Sorne- dru;rentksts).Andtheworstofthe Poser thing Meat Market In SLC. If you haw , pdCcearetheQldPmks.'Thesearethe input on any of these subjects, send me people who were born punks and newr a post Card to: discowed something new by bying it or THE MLCYNIC, @ P.O. Box 1061, dessing so lhey warldn't feel out of Salt Lake City Utah 841 10-1061 place. Thebeare the founding fa* of rr-to I what 1 ~~~~~~~~~~~lunrunm~CHANGE

DRIPPERS =o RONNIE: Because of her. KIM: Because of me, but it ended. Ira 1 cod now,we're buddies. SLUG: What bands were you in before ,, the Muffs? BWRELIGION KIM: I used to be in this really shim IPf f~ f)4* n band called the Pandoras. Whea was a wee DUD of a led. I SLUG: I liked the Pandoms. usedto spend a good of my time KIM: Well, we weren't ahvays shitly and income going to shows at a loath- Melanie was in that band too, and Clim sow litlie & &led 'Night Moves" in is in, like, 41 bands, which he shoukln'l Huntingbn Beadr. Caliii. It was brag about but he does. there I first saw Kim Shaltuck and RONNIE: I started writing, doing the Melaniie Vammen. At the time, their "rock crilic' thing which is what Idid. talents were being neglectedin aginchy SLUG: What's happening in Los Aqge- combo known as the PANWW. vet les? What's ihe hot gossip? We can somehowl knew, themeetingwasmkh swap some gossip1 morememorableformethenitwasfor RONNIE: We gotta get in the Tabitha them. Years later, Kim on guitar and Soren story. Okay. Layne, the singer vocals and Melanie on rhythm guitar from Alice In Chains was fucking her have been joined by bass plucker and and right at her moment of dimax. $re michrophone stand abusw, Ronnie screams for the number two pencil: Barnett and Ctiss Crass, Ihe buist . 'numbertwo pencil, numberhNopendll' drummer in Hollywod to create the Straight up the canner right when, MUFFS. Although the MUFFS can out fknow, she's having her orgasm. And wail andout rodc1ustaboutanyonewho that's true, by the way. comes down the Dike. their sounds owe SLUG: Well Idon't redly have story ta more to the && and etles top that one. Once I asked Don Balk lhen L7 or the Sex Pistols. toautographaGinmsreaxdformeand Iwas fortunate enough to collar the he signed it; ' Kim Fowley.' MUFFSforsomemversationaMthev KIM: Was this a long lime ago? openedfortheGoo~Dollson SLUG:Yeah,itwasata45Gnwshow. 6th at the Zephyr. If you missed their KIM:You know, one lime he came up to fuzz soaked, set that night or me becfurse he worked at some radii can't Rndany of their numerable singles station thatwas around forawhilecalled around town. Iurge you to pick up their MARS FM or something, it was redly new self tilled CD on Warner Bros. bad, they played a bunoh of disco. And he came up to me and he's all saying SLUG: OK, let's hear a brief hismy of 'You shoukl listen to our station.' And the band for readers who aren't I'm like,'No, Idun't like disco, or techno hip to the Muffs. Like, where'd you guys . anythii.'And he's like, 'No, you should CD'S grow up? Where'd you go to hear it, some of the melodies are dly high schod? great.' So Ifumed it on one time and il KIM :I wentto high schod in Orange and was reelly luoked. And he's all, 'Cen I everybody there is a geek Everybody1 have your single?' And I'm like, Well, I Every single person is ageek so Ididn't guess you can byone off of us.' And go to my reunion or anything. That he's ell, 'well Iwasn't going to play it on heppenedacoup[eofyearsago,noone the radio or anythingl' And we're like, year ago, no, it hasn't even happened We don't want you to play it on your yet1 -stupid ass radio station.' RONNIE: I'm from ~kston exa as RONNIE: So we put hi song on our I modto California. aingle and he's unoredited. SLUG: To be a rock star? KIM: Yeah, we forgot what his name RONNIE: No, not at all, Igave up being was, we spelled it wrong. in bands a long time ago. I moved out RONNIE: It was "You Lied to Me', Ya because of a girl and hung arwnd and an dd Vox Pop song.That was ourW basically fell into being in this band. single. because of his girl. 8LUO. Tell me you impressions of Sell HOURS: M-F"l1-7: S SLUG: Beacause of a girl? Lake Qi. JUNE 1888 QL&!I@-

-- RONNIE: Total rock club with lime. SL~:Who are you major influences? Iwould haw jammed with him. Iwcub @tographedMues players on th8 wall. SLUG: Wastheshowt~night~picaI?In KI# My big infiuences for music are be way into that. Every tour I'w ew KIM: You lalow, Iwandered off to a pub terms of your performance, not in terms ~helGnk,&pedelly~ave~aviedwhen been on, I've read some book abo& bu! it ddn't have cider so I was redly of the audence. he played leeds. As far as songwriting, mass murderer. Like Albert Fish wt?b bummed. I sat by a bunch of yu- MELANIE: Well. I would haw to say I Idon't know. stuck needles in his scrotum, Ed Geim. drinking beer, so l drank a beer and w&s was a ~ttlebuzzed tonight but Idetini& SLUa: Do your songs have certain In 89 we went to Plainsfield, WisconsTh totally igmKed except for a a stares. had more fun. This waslikemalhrdiea~- themes? on tour with the Pambnrs and me ad And I swear, I haven't seen anything pdntingwhenweIrstwdkediniere but KiM:Yes, they'reusualIynegatiw@ht? Melanie were both really, really druhk elp here. then these people came in and it was And they're usually about death, there's and we were laying in the motor hoi?e RONNIE: he thing I notice is that like oad people. When there's no one in always liithemes. There's a little bit and we went out for bddast @ Wsabsolutely no smog here, no there butthere's cod people who enpy here and there of death, insanity, and Melanie, who was even more dunk kmog at all. it,kmakssitabettershowlhanifthere's make this person go away. then me goes, Where's the cemmty? .SLUG:.T~~~'s becauseit's been rani$. a bunch of duds that don'twant to see SLW. Well Ican appredateall of those And the lady goes you're really hd@ In the winter, it's as bad a Los Angeles. you. topics. Them's soflof ammonthreed. and Melanie got yelled at and she feft (At this point someone mentions Mat- SLUG: So do yw have any hot gossip KY:Yeah. It's like, 'fuckyou, go away, bad and she burst into tearsdrunkenly, thew Modine, I don't know why.) -- of tour stories? leave, bye.' Death is definitely an inter- of course and she ran out of the room. RONNIE: Is he the most famous export MELANIE: Let's see, gossip on the esting suject but but most people who And I'm like, "what's going on7"And the from Salt Lake City? road. Okay, we played in Chiioand are like, always into death are ueually roediesexpkdnedthat,thewaibesswas JIU: No, Ted Bundyl we met Cynthii piaster caster, I guess like these goth bands. bummed that Melanii had asked abom SLUG: Rosanne Ban. she's like a bia fan of ours. and she iust SLUG: AndalotofthemarespoiCedlitlb thecemetew. which is arselIvsen~ RONNIE: What bands are from here? won heroowt&seandgot ~imiIienhrix fuckers who've never actual@dealt with subject in ~iainsfiekl.So we-bought T- SLUG: There's a lotof great bands here back She wants to laster cast Ronnie death. shirts and postcards. but thev ~lavat other dubs. This one is and her lawyer is 'Senliago Durango KIM: Yeah, I'm totally not into these SLUG:Whenl wasaliPelddlmademy kind of sbinsive, lasttime Icame here hwn Big Black. And me and him are spoiled little fuckers who are like goth mom takeme fotheSharonJate houG. Ispent forty dollars. getting married. rockgeeks with whie make up and blue KIM: We went there before. You know KIM: Why? we shadow. I'm only into death on mv the band Redd Kross?We used to hano SLUG: Cause I bought three b&pl KIM: Wait, whoare you getting married &n thing, I mean it'; interesting to talk out with them a11the time anci do the& RONNIE: I saw these hillbilly fuckers to Melanie? about and I always think about it, Ijust fucked things to people. I wan1 with here, two-stepping. That was realty MELANIE: Santiago Durengo. like to be morbid. Ihave a morbid sense them when they lit fireworks around KIM: Santiago Durango is bald as a of humor, Ijust can't help it. Ijust can't Lucille Ball's house when shedied. They sE:hts the deal with the piclure billiard MI. help it! went all uponthe front porch and scared in the 'Shaneshit" column in FliAde? RONNIE: Cynthiawantstocastmycock SLUG: You know, the whole tragedy of the shit out of everybodjwho was in the RONNIE: He printed that pich;re and in plaster. DaM Komh is hat he died before he house. They went to Cielo Drive asm he didn't even write about us. He's a KIM: Ronnie has a big crush on her but could record an album. end they threw a mannequin, this-a wierd Werand Ire's out of jail. she has big saggy tits and a big belly. KIM: I know1 Whars the deal here? lucked up and blW loaIdng durn* KIM: He comes to wr shows and we RONNIE: I'm totally in love with her, SLUG: He could have recorded a duet thing and threw it owthe fence of tho had a long conversatibn over the phone she is the ultimate groupie. with Charles Manson. Manson house. Iwasn't them for tho& and we're like How dare you use a KlM:No, Pamela DesBarres is way KIM:They could have had agreatband. particular antics, though. picture of Melanie's muff without our coder, you're fucking Mind, you have conmt?'Buthe was allnioeabout it so your glasses off. we said, oh well, go ahead. Anyway, MELANIE: 1 think the ultimate death Melanie's muff is very groamed. would be, to be playing on stage and SLW. How did you hook up with Long have all this water go under you and Gone John? He's my idol. Sympa- your chords and pedals and aH of a thy rules. sudden you get electrocuted and sparkr, KIM: Heenabledustodoourfirstsingle. come out and ywdie suddenly and fall Him and Bruce horn A Go Go recards to the ground. pooled their money together and said KYLE; (Muffs madim extraordinaim) I "do some recordings for us.' So we did know somebody Uiat died on stage in five songs and they split them up. Sen Francisco. He was Ihe singer for RONNIE: Long Gone John is like the the band Housecoat Project. They were father of the Muffs. on stage at the Mabul?ay in 84 or85 and KIM: He is, Idsour dad. He's so cod. the guy was barefoot. When he went up MELANIE: Long Gone John startedwr to sing, the shock threw him all heway fan club. into the drums, and he was dead right KIM:Youcan hear him hwna mileaway there.The coroners office said offidally walling towards you. that it was natural causes which is MELANIE: (Imitating John) 'Hey, bullshitl yo~l" KIM: For future reference, for your RONNIE: He jingles like a shitemuslim magazine, you should ask what the hornsanJuan. most perfect. amazing death would be. (At this @nt, Criss th6 drummer en- Idon't have one because Ialways think -.) hutit all the time. But, one of the best CRISS: I'm GssCrass end I'm here 16 ways to die, is to die in hunt of a lot of nxk yal people on live television. So, if you were KIM: Long Gone John is like our dad, &I &turday ~i~ht~ive,the wholeentire but he's a cool ded because he swears east coast would be really amazed,and in fmnt of his kids. Everything is like, they wouldsb you die. well, you know, 'Ibis is fucldng cod" or "This is fucking it has to be way worth it, of course, to kill wear yourself. This is Kim speaking, Kim who MELANIE: NO, you have to do it the way has a death wish. he does. He goes; 'Hi, this is lucking SLUG:Doyw always hwass peoplein Johnny, fuck, fuck yeah." And it's cod the audience? because he has adaughtermy age, I'm KIM: (Laughing) No, only when I'm re- twenty six, and he's like forty Wo Ithink. ally drunk, and I was really drunk to- you wouldn't believe it, he's amazing. night. No, I sometimes harms people He's been mv friend for a lona. lana in the audience sometimes I don't Q&U@m JUNE 1888 - --

wggk..(~&g$1.95)Grade: D - a bar manager, a bouna., , 4tWinoe firefighter, a convict, and a bartender among other things. But strangely, he's best at being astoryteller. "REAL STUFFS" 12-issue run (so far) fes Not much adually transpires in tures Eichhom'ssomgtimespignant, BLACK DOGS, other than a kt of - sometimes terrifying, sotyetimes hi- debatebehNeenthetwoandacon- .b- larious but always entettahing tales, trived radst situation. illustratedby avariety of independent Creator Anderson is a talented .,,n- Joe Sacco is probably best comics artists. attist(b1ending influencesIkeHoward known in the comics field for hiau- Number 12, thi'most current Chaykin and Bill Siinkiewii), but a tobiographical worlc, but the talented issue, features an epideqth taJe In an increasingly political arts writer he is not. The diueb -- carbonistrecently~anamM'i inwbng a drug-inspired, hiichhike scene, the Rodney King beating was contrived and, attimes, so ham-fisted project: PALESTINE, a comic book MtoIdaho,setved upwithart by Pat bound to inspire acomic bookortwo, that any message is kgt In the detailing the strife in the Middle East Morii, J.R. W~lliisand Jason and Ho Che Anderson's BLACK forward, Anderson admits that the thmughSacco'sowneyesas hetours Lutes. The first two chapters, in par- DOGS isthefirstto arrive. comic "is nat a solution" but "merely a the area ticular, are beautifully illustratd, and Unfortunately, writer-illustrator dission." Unfortunatdy, it ranks #&themostrecentissuqfoC reflect Ekhhom's mental state pr- Anderson suffers from oveneaction as a rather busy discussion, as in- kws Saccofmm ataxi ridein Nablus, fedly. and lack of plrdessionaliim. BLACK telligent discourse is jettied for to arefugee hoqii(where hisguide Other issues, egpecialtythefirst DOGS (withanextme heavy hand) stagy incidents and ridiiubus ver- is jeered and tidiiled by armed set- couple, feature even better stoh folk a few days in the liof biage. tlers). and even more impressive aMi eouple Monk and Sonjhe in the adter- Yes, the Rodney King beating But a good chunk dthe issue is lineups (with heavy hitters hitters like mathofthe King verdict and LA riots. was outrageous. Yes, racism is on tdcenupby"Remii Me,"an llusbated Peter Bagge, Michael Dougan, Jim Journalist Sonjhe is the more the rim and something needs to be text* inwhii Saceovisii Bahta, Woodling, andthe-Stanley done to merge heterogeneous cub 'thebiestrefugeecampintheWest Shaw). Who says autobiographical ture and beliinto a homogeneous Bank"and detailsthe mtsofZonism comics are all shrill, self-indulgent Monk almost froths at the mouth society. Efforts like BLACK DOGS and the occupation struggles. twaddle? This real&ii. e r6 . complaining about injustice. While can only senre to hdd back solutions, Happily, Sam's narrative skills, Grade A (B&W, $2.50f3. m%&v mjhewishes to leave the inner city though. The true shame here is that honed on depiding hiis own life, senre --Jellly for a better place for their expected attist Anderson's next project is a well on this material. In the hands of child, Monk wishes to remain true to fiiionalizedbbgraphyof Martin Luther somebodyketahted, PALESTINE hiis roots... King, Jr. The mind could Iqse into ridiibusrtess and B16 MOUTH ranting, but Saccr,remainscalm, rea- 8lwhad soned, and charming. Yes, the story Like Eichhorn, Pat Moriarly does come out against the Israel's, knows his strengths, in particular, his* but it's hardto mustermuchsympathy wide range of cartooning styles. Let- for the Zionist movement when they ting others (like Peter Bagge, Dennis inflid such suffering on the Palestin- Eiihom, Charles Bukowski, Dennis ians. Worden am%Gasp! Henry,Rollins) Sam's art is very cartoony, but spekthrough him withtheirwritings, also very detailed. While the figures Morihas seemingly come out of and faces are diindive and "non- nowhere, makingasplashthelikesof redinthe renderings are extremely whii haven! been seen since Joe pawefful and provocadive. Matt, Ed BrubakerandSeth came on If political material could be the scene a few years 8go. handled thii well in all comic books, Only hHo issues have come out the medium would truly expand. But so far, but it's surprising that a larger for now, Joe Sacco and a reladiely comics company (such i1 as few c4hers are stretching the bound- Fantagraphics) hasn't snaehed aries. (B&W: $2.50) Grade: A- MxMy yet, especially with such a 4tWVice winning formula. Fmm humor to pathas to rain- (Ash: Noteworthy recent comics old strangeness (like the adarmen- indude PEEPSHOW $4 [the latest tioned Rollins story) Moriarly draws it angst-ridden slim d Joe Matt's life], all well (even blending with R.L MILK & CHEESE'S FOURTH #I, Crabb's much-traveled inks). Here's andGRffiORYllI[inwhchcartoonist hoping you open your "Big Mouth" Marc Hempel returns to form].) and discover the wonders within. GradeA (B&W, $2.50) REAL STUFF Note: Also worth checking- out: hrtruraella The sign of atrue artist is that he "Stby" #6 (Starhead), 'Cerebus" #169, "Hate" #12 (Fantagraphi), ' (or she) knc& his (or her) limitations. ' Underthat criterion, Dennis Eiihhom and Trailer Trash" #4 (Tundra). $an attist. Eihomhas been a jock, WRONG PART OF THE WORLD WRONG COUNTRY WRONG CITY WRONG PART OF TOWN

ALSO IN STOCK Guatemalan - Latest New Overalls, Shorts & More, India Print A Harem Pants & Skirts, Baby %Dye Grateful Dead G )4 clothes, India Print Bed Spreads, Rain Sticks, Beaded Doorway Curtains, Designs Tees w Dream Catchers, Drum Boxes, and Tons of Jewelry, Grateful Dead Mugs, Watches, 'lies, Tams, Fanny Packs, Hacky-Sacks, Handmade Kettle Drums, Tons of Grateful Dead Stickers, Hippie Sticks Enter Drawings For Free Merchandise In June S 24 1 East 300' South 5 GAIA: MAME OF :H ITHER E.ARTH to their more haunting extremes. Maybe this is their Gothic sensibll- iry. In any case, the band played a well-received show, especially for their first in Salt Lake and outside their native Seattle. They may be limiting their audience by pigeon- holing themselves in a genre; espe- cially one that is as claustrophobic even enhance your life. Maybe as the Gothic scene. The band spew words of wisdom to the definitely has a wide appeal to all tally challenged but anyone els sorts of alternative types. Grab a probably find LOVEBUCKET a li copy of either of their two singles if too zany. O.K., so they' you missed the show-Voltaire's TOY DOLLS, but if you Valerie or Jardeu Blue, available some reason crave mindl through AlDA House Records- and formulate your own opinion. LOVEBUCKET'S the band for. -Christina, the Aatoniahing. LOVEBUCKET BOMB ANGER OVERLOAD THE MIECES AmrU t8tb a ABC't 11 Prrv8 RIVERBED JED My heavens1 A bar in Provo? of late have shown an increased And one that hosts the evils of punk Amru 28 - Brr a errn . .FAITH, DISEASE energy and performance level that rock? Who would have thought? And , Man, l thought the THE COLOUR THEORY demand attention. The band has who could have guessed that this gonna be two bands, so definitely matured, and, best of all, little hole-in-the-wall bar, ABG's, *MIDNIGHT DREARY they rock hardl Powerchords rip out could be so much fun? A real mix up 28th fP over throbbing bass and heavy of cowboys, hessians, skaters and lrrll tb8 Rltz drums. Over the top come Dury's Billed as a Gothic show, most regular joes, ABG's is the perfect smooth, deeply charismatic vocals. venue for local bands. The juke-box of you were probably too bloody The newer songs see them break- ' :scared ta show your faces at the blared out Madonna's Vogue and ing out of traditional steady rhythms then slipped in to some Gmh Brooks from 'Frisco jumped, boun .:'Ritz, aptpiugh there was a decent- andinto more diverse patterns. The .':%ized ap%d. Certainly there was an nonsense or other. What a great early Damned records come to mind way to start any gig1 abundUMof black-clad persons, when listening to them. And you can -complqtdi%ih4~hitefe and dark ANGER OVERLOAD took the tell from watching them that they stage much to the chagrin of the -,make:$; ?ndr&a~:#jngar'ufarnd are enjoying what they are doing on attituEl?;,butpyn ;sicime,Aqmal;lrn- pool-playing regulars, but Brad stage. If you've missed them so far, Barker's stand-up comedy in be- ,:.dergroufid types put in an ZipPrl- now is the time to chhck out THE ance for a great show, ' c.+-. tween songs, as well as his unri- fairly COLOUR THEORY. valed stage persona (what other - -,Leading oft were" &snt Seattle's FAITH 8 DISEASE neWcbiners to the swns, 2Mltr- lead singer could lift his guitar seem to suffer from an identity cri- player, let alone carry him around -" NIGHT DPEAAY. A cross Ih&hrn sis. They appear to have all the '--Alien Sex RedandChristian Dqath the stage over his shoulder?) soon trappings of a Gothic rock band won the hearts of everyone in the except the musical aspect. They bar. His claims that they were any played through a variety of beauti- band from ABBA to BLACK SAB- ful, yet brooding songs, focused on BATH were met with heartfelt cheers vocalist Dara's sweet strains. But and rousing applause. ANGER. . their music seems to contain quali- ~mo~phe~~~~ovarlayadby norve- OVERLAOD has gotten even better ties more akin to folk-rock; Joni since I saw them open for KMFDM. wrenchkg ~&al'acrobati~s.These Mitchell's Bluealbum comes to mind, 'boys are #&fi~stband to break out They are heavy1 The music shifts -'. or 10,000 Maniacs In My Tribe. Their bbtween frantic punk speeds to.. .-,of . the ere~--gmwlfigbaby bat sub- songs draw on these but take them gulture inSaktLaka. Theatrice seem grungy, metal reposes but retains ;to be the ftrength of MIDNIGHT ifs depth and edge no matter &at. : :DREARY, hiding bishind vast ANGER OVERLOAD is more mela- amountsoTlhi~ktq~~a@dlgs,skulls dious than most of the local bands , and asaxrriMrd *Tihe Baath-rock and any discordance only adds td' acoutram~n~s..~efinltelysomething the overall appeal. Even under thb .'to expeiiance.And as they get more disco lights they laid down a storm ' performames under"hir-respe6- of music. ' tive belts, prhap';lpyY kit^ focus LOVEBUCKET is certainly mom '~psongs than$&$-dressing. something to behold, with a stand- THE COLOWq 7~FdA'~pihftzid up drummer who has a Sparkletts - an incredi@weH~ibd~<~oisting bottle as part of his kit (among other of standards Ifoh their Sbel Glas unidentifiable drum things ) and a lead singer who is a cross between , Shadows CD- Wc@s,Steel Dlass clever use of drop outs and s Shadows. ~&n*d-, plus fauf Pee-WeeHerman and the American or five new isqnge, incl9tng their Bobsled Team. LOVEBUCKET is (forthcoming &gild, -@,.asend-, reminiscent of the seminal new wavelearly 80's punk bands that ,.:off -to kbthony L$w&; 'C4ock- drop of energy out of a song ork bL- I've '@sen THE sprang up in garages everywhere across America; where any rich brat audience. The dance floor was $OLOUR THE(KIY rnw times in packed with moving bodies the whola ;the past few years and thdr shows 1 with a guitar found himself able at a UNE 1893 * 8LW@

night, and I'll bet lhere wasn't a dry dor, which would be the COWS. The sweatgland in the house after the COWS messedshit up live as Iknew hour-and-ahalf-set. they would, completewith handlebar A good time for rdbproof yet mustaches, crazy tattoop, and three again that the only place to be on breasts. Shanon (singer) also had a Thursday night is the Bar a Oril. next cigarette butts hanging from his ,mk bring your mom. braid. -lb Subhuman The noise was outta sight. The noise being their'music: Raw, rude, AEUOS CREED ! and down right annoyingly power- ful. No one can compare with the :ICEBURN COWS. I'm sony if you weren't there. ANGER OVERLO ID You just could never experience anything like this. hy4-tkL8trm "Shitbeard,' 'Sexy ,Pee Story,' How in the hell, can one make and a cover of 'Jesus Christ Super- guch mean sounds from a guitar? star,' 39 lashes. The crowd was full ANGER OVERLOAD seems to of punks, drunks, gorrillas (no ' creep like ants in your pants. Ihave fucking lie) and it all was killer. I also selected them as the sassiest couldn't help but laugh, it was band in Salt Lake, NOT Stone Pony. fucking amazing. Terminal Technical Difficulties pre- 4hopp.r vented them from finishing their set. ICEBURN is going off in an all j different directions as far as I can tell, Isay check'em out again if you haven't seen them lately. RUN WEST Y RUN C This is a bad review for HELlOS 28 - Bat 6 6rlll 1 CREED. They lagged It had been almost six years. I -Pork Chopper had missed at least three of their last trips here, but I finally got to see flREHOSE again in Salt Lake City. Some things just get better with age. The group played songs from all their albums, with no two the same. This rhythm section is tighter than the proverbial duck's ass. They are heavy in ways that most 'grunge" groups couldn't even comprehend. A highlight was 'Down With The Bass,' in which they demonstrated - ANY Two ms that Mike Watt on that very instru- ment is the driving force of the group. Not to take anything away from the other members: George Hurley drummed like crazy, even taking a solo, and Ed fROMOHlO provided - vocals and cool guitar riffs. These guys lay down a groove that puts COWS @ STARM Red Hot Chili Peppers to shame. For an encore they went from I the old Minutemen song 'Badges' into the Butthole Surfers' 'Revolu- I cows tion,' then some more originals. For ' JANITOR JOE a second encore, they did he Red and the Black,'by Blue Oyster Cult. ------8PORE The appreciative and near capacity ~lyla - chb nun Bar rill crowd would've listened -TWO LOCATIONS- I don't think the fact that Mike all night, but if they were like me, they were having a hard time hear- , Dean (former C.O.C.) is in the band ing by then, due tothe aural damage brought many people to see this sustained, not to mention sundry band. I don't even know which one DOWNTOWN 322-FREE I bruises from the mosh pit. RUN he was, Mike could have been the WESTY RUN, a labelmate from drummer forall that Iknow. SPORE flREHOSE's SST days, opened a In The ZEPHYR CLUB 301 so. west Temple I is good and all, but they were a bit show that started hot and just kept too complicated and hard to follow. getting hotter. Hose me down! Alas they played their hearts out to -8risn Staker but afew bobbing listeners. JANITOR JOE turned the vol- ume up to 11. Loud as fuck and 1624 South 1100 East pissed as hell they moved like a steamroller through an incredibly cod set. Ihave wahed along time, which cleems to be an eternity, to behold the magnificent, fullon rude splen- packn' em in out in ~~~ranciszin gettin' a demo for your very own Ir ever since they moved out to sunny self you can write the boys at: California from their home in Ne- braska. Without question Buck and P.O. Box 89'104 the boys where the best live band Los Angeles, Ca. 900!27 I've ever seen, as well as the fun- niest. Buck christened his brand of rock n' roll PORNO-BILLY and sang some of thedirtiest songs you'll ever herethissideofa sailorsconvention. case you've never Buck used to usedto come on stage VOUS RECORDS. wearin' nothin' but a pqir of pink I'm gonna tell you cowboy boots, a big 01' cowboy hat, are 'OTHER a pair of sun glasses and a strate- scotiand's own URANIUM CATS gically placed toilet plunger. The and 'VIKING ATTACK" by music was swingin' and the band Denmark's TAGGY TONES. Both was wild. Sadly, about six months of these albums contain the one ago Buck was murdered while walking Msdog in Golden Gate Park late one night. Those of us who knew Buckwheredevastatedby the ters are so hot they'll burn your1 news, and deeply saddened that fingers. THE URANIUM CATS have one of California's greatest bands a swingin' style that ranges from had lost its heart and soul. The only pure psycho to straight up rockabilly good thing to come out of all this is with theguitars howlin'andthesiaps sl ht from the horses mouth that 1 In the last three years that I've the album that the band released bass a' pumpin'. This album is easily lived on and off here in Utah, prob- k.-, Belenger has been a hidden last month, and which Buck had one of the best I've ever heard all gem behind thet DEAD KATS drum ably the btggest complaint I've had finished recording shortly before his year (or ever forthat matter) and It's I, is the lackof a cool alternative roots kit. With a voice that ranges from a death. If you're a fan of twisted a must have for any true billytohave music scene here in Utah. Well, for Bob WillslGene Autry yodel to the psychobilly in the mode of THE in his or her collection. It's definitely ' the first time since I've lived here beautiful falsetto of Roy Orbison to CRAMPS then you'll absolutely love one planer that matters! I've got to say that I'm really excited the country hiccup of Buck Owens this album. It'll give you at least a The TAGGY TONES also play abwt what's happening with the al- and Hank Williams, Andy is the best small taste of what it was like to see a rockin' style that is often described ternative roots scene here now. damn singer I've heard in a long BUCK NAKED AND THE BARE as Euro-billy, the mixture of hard When I say excited that's actually time. So, if you're lookin' for a good BOTTOM BOYS in person. We'll ail edged European psycho and good an understatement, I meant to say time, or if you've had your heart miss you Bucki You can find Buck's oI' rockabilly. These cats are loa'ds broken and you're lookin for a band i ecstatic1 Right now, at this very new c.d. at Crandall Audio in Orem of fun and from song one 'ti1 the moment there are no less than five, to listen to while you cry into your and at any other cool record stores albums over you'll have to unfasten alternative roots bands, and I'm beer than don't miss out on the in Utah. your feet belts and start boppin'. gonna tell Yall a little bit about a BROKEN HEARTS. Next up in my jukebox is a tape The TAGGY TONES are not afraid couple of those bands I've had a Another band I had a chance to by one of my ail time favorite bands to slow it down a little and some of chance to go see in the last month. catch this last month was a swingin' THE DAVE AND DEKE COMBO their slower stuff reminds me a bit of Last week Ihad a chance to see trio that goes by the name of the . entitled HOME BREWED DEMOS. Chris Isaak, but their real forte is one of the coolest bands I've seen in DEL MOTELS. Once again I had to If you like rockabilly music likeitwas rockin' the joint, and flat's when restrain my pleasure as I watched a long time. I'm talkin about a new back in '54 then these are the cats these boys are at their best. In my ! set of cats that go by the name of yet another rockabilly band shake, for you. Along with theirgoodfriends opinion this album is another must BROKEN HEARTS I caught these rattle and roil it's way onto the Utah (and fellow Los Angeleans) BIG buy, and if you miss out on it don't catsdown at BUFK'STlKl LOUNGE musicscene. Borrowing heavilykom SANDYANDTHE FLY RITE BOYS, say Ididn't warn yal If any of you out in Salt Lake. and Igotta tell ya, they both straight up rockabilly and good THE DAVE AND DEKE COMBO there are interested in orderingfrom knocked my socks off. The band is 01' Texas road house blues, these are one of he most authentic pure NERVOUS RECORDS (Whose fronted by Andy Belenger (that's cats are workln'on asoundthatoutta rockabilly bands around. With vo- lineup includes THE PHAROAHS, right. the same Andy who plays keep all you cats and kittens dancin' cals harmonies that rival anything FRENZY, RESTLESS, THE drums for the DEAD KATS, another In your creepers and saddle shoes. Don and Phil Everly ever put out, SHARKS and THE FRANTIC extremely cool band) who sings and While the DEL MOTELS are still a and music that kicks as hard as FLINSTONES) youcan writetothem plays guitar for the swingin' quartet. realiy new band and lack the final Johnny Burnette and the Rock n' at: What Andy and the cats are tryin' to polish, I have a feeling that within a Roll Trio, this band has it all and NERVOUS RECORDS . do is bring back some of the great few monthsthey could turn out to be then some. Deke Dickerson is a UNIT 6,7-11 MINERVA ROAD old honky tonk sounds that once one of the local favorites with my old fabulous guitar player who coaxes LONDON NW10 6HJ upon a time came pouring out of the pal Tim poundin' on his Strat and tones out of his old Moserite double ENGLAND studios in Memphis and Nashville. beltin' his lungs out. These boys are neck that'll make you cry! Dave Their music is very much in the style definitely worth takin' the time to Stuckey and Deke share the vocal Alos look for more on NERVOUS and sound that to define such check out. duties and this band, and this tape RECORDS in upcoming issues of seminal artistsas Patsy Cline, Buck This month was also a great are as good as anything else that's SLUG. Owens, Willie Nelson and Roy month in my jukebox as it seemed ever graced this old boys stereo. the last thing I've got to tell y'all Orbison. Their music is packed with like everyday n@ mailbox was filled My only complaint is that this eight before i head out for another month swing and heavy on the heartbreak, with pne rockin' platter after another. song demo isn't long enough1 It is that you can start looking for a and one listen to these cats and First up is the new (and sadly the could use about ten or twenty more new rockabilly fanzine to come out you'll be converted. The thing about last) album by the late BUCK NA- songs. I defy any true fan of in July. No word yet on the title, but the music that the BROKEN KED (aka Philip Bury) AND THE rockabilly music to not love this tape it should be alot of fu5 so keep your HEARTS play is that you realiy can't BARE BOTTOM BOYS. For those after your first listen. These cats are eyes peeled! Catch ya later. pull it off without some fabulous of you who aren't familiar withol'. sogone it's scary! If you're interested singing, and brother, let me tell you BUCK, he and the boys have been have a black Swiss SPRING MOUNTAIN BIKE SALE - 90 Days Same As C h

I I've got the blues, a collection of bills, and a mother who a persistent cough, shit stains in my 80 DAYS underwear, a zippo ' lighter, and green SAME L 4 toothpaste, and beer. I have antibiotics and = O.A.C. aspirin, fabric LA- softener, strong j sexual urges, and A rn L hair on my toes, and a mean streak too. Also I have gas, and an THE SPORT SANDAL evil side, a few nasty habits, several SPORT problems, and ' a nice smile. SANDALS I have a box of old I Suggested Retail $50.00 letters and aging I poems, parking m;? tickets, and the sun R . . on the lake on a clear ' -'i@ morning. I have some SOCKS, and some holes, color I. TV, and jazz in stereophonic sound, - SALE IN . and one gray hair in PEBERSEN'S EFFECT AT my left eyebrow. ALL 6 UTAH j -.T And STORES I've got my dreams, A a wild imagination, 4OlTONWOOD MILL CROSSROADS MAL- -rn rn vrn. HILLS MALL a paper and a pen, 278-5353 315-4111 . 546-3 143 ' and some hope OGDEN CITY MALL and one good shirt. 266-8555 -Rick rn QRw@ JUNE

- Wakrm, Fuel, Ice Cube, Dwarves. Da you think its really true that the guiw player's dead? That's Yhe scuttlebut SLUG: No, Ithink he probably just go1 a job. SHANNON: I just read thal how the magic HeWhoGanootBeNamedgot stabbed marker tattoos in Philadelphia. [Y, JUNE ~RDI evolved. These KEVIN: Iheard he hied to kill himself, 1 characters are in put himself in a coma, came out of it, I the Cartoon Corral and then succeeded. video. They're to- SLUG: Why haven't you made me 1RIVERBED llr tally identifiable jump to a major label? If the Butthole Shannon type il- Surfers can do it, why not the Cows? lustrations. SHANNON: The Butthole Surfen ImONB BYE SHANNON: Iused waited 12 years to do it. @I to draw a cartoon, KEVIN: Inanother four years, we'i & sometimes it was it too! Everyone asks us that but it's called 'Orgy of like, noboby's really offering and if we Mess" and some- did something like that itwwld be with times it was called the full cooperationof Hazelmayerand 'Gadfly Nerve.' I there would have to be a really good was supposed to reason to do it. Now here isn't. do a poster for one SLUG: How is the availability of prod- of our shows but I ucton AmRep? It seems like thingsgo ran out of ideas so out of printhequently. Is that b make I just used these things collectable? The English language has been guys. KEVIN: I donr &Ink he's doing that, so nuetered by over use of on- Pow- SLUG: Is there going to be a third he's got everything in stock virtually all erful adjectives that it is nearly impos- video for AmRep? the time. That's just distributor bullshii. sible to find ~rdsto accurately de- SHANNON: Yeah, we already did it, THOR: He despises that sort of thing: scribe the COWS. When television actually. We're piecing it together now, He would probably do another printing describes soft drinks as 'awesome' we did Sugarborch.' of something it hethoughtpeoplewere and haircuts as 'radical' it behooves SLUG: By the way, Sexy pee Story is hoarding it. the swggling Stimboy to rearch for incredible. SHANNON: That early stuff, the rea- mom obscure 9nd 9~tericdedp- THOR: Nobody seems to be able b son it was collectablewas that he was tions. Isay it's time to take the English make up their minds, likeonereviewer just starting out and didn't ha* the language back from fdadison_Awnue says it's softer, the next one says irs money to make a bunch of shit. and Put things in Proper ~erspeotiw. harder, weaker, stronger. KEVIN: Yw couldn't give those fuckers Mount Ewrest is awesome, Abbie SLUG: Or they'll say you hit your peak away. He still hughsaboutthat.When Hoffman was radical and the COWS with Daddy Has A Tail. he found out that a couple of them am both. Askany of he Stunned audi- SHANNON: Now the new one is that were suddenly becoming collectable, ence members who saw them at Club we hi our peak with Effete and Impu- he went around Minneapolis and Stanz last May. The COWS are the dent Snobs, it seems to move up ev- baught 'em all back from the stores cirars, tragicom*, theateof cruelty ery yew. because they still had fifty copies of and furiously pounding musicallrolled SLUG: Do you think you're getting everything. into one. They occupy the rarified air better over time? I mean, you could SHANNON: We go out of town and that properly includes Hubert Sdby, became a really slick rack and roll they'd be asking fifty bucks forasingle GeorgeGm, George Bataille, Frank outfit if you wanted, but you seem to and at the local record stores, there'd Kozik, Russ Meyer and Marcel stey pure. be a stack a couple of inches Hi. DuChamp. (Lookem up.) WhileTrent KEVIN: Pure?l SLUG: Paige from Helmet told me Reznor prances around the Sharon THOR: I think what you're driving at is Haze has all the vinyl copies of Tab hou~and Al Jougenson makes that wehe havinga much better time in 'Meantime." vidoos with Ben Weasel and Big Bill the studio now, we know mare what KEVIN: No, he doesn't do that, that's Bourroughs himself, the COWS are we want to sound like. Those eady his thing. putting the goods on the table and recards, the reason they sound like SLUG: I've never even seen a capy d taking no prisoners. Likea young aco- they do was not on purpose cause we "Taint Pluribus, 'Taint Unum: lyte. I warily approached the thought they sounded really clean at SHANNON: It wasn't an ArnRep al- for insight on matters as timeless as the time. We just wantthe instunnents bum, there was only about 1200 ol the htal tundra of the Austrailian to sound clear. those ever put out. outback. From these master mechan- SLUG: How was recording at the new KEVIN: And I think that guy is sitting icr of sonic mayhem, I share with you AmRep studios? on them. But I don't know, we don't but a fw pearls of wisdom gleaned SHANNON: Sexy Pee Story was the know, who knows? from their sagacious council,,.- , first album recorded there. It's just a SLUG: Thor, who are your guitar in. am: The COWS - ',$ . better deal for him and for the bands. fluences? Kevin Wrinkly Mear fWWtlShk? KEVIN: It's easier for everyone THOR: My dad, RiardNixon. . .The Baas SLUG: Itmakes more sense than pay- summer of ninth grade. Norm 'Alice' Rogers: Drums. ing some jack-ass 100 bucks an hour SLUG: Do you have NRA stickers on Thor'Cool Breeze"Eis8nsVager: SHANNON: Now he pays himdf. yourvan so you won't get pulledover? Guitar KEVIN: There is a charge for the KEVIN: It hasn't worked for us. Tom ~ham'~ar~e-~&So~berg:bands, but irs also cheaper than it (Hazelmayer)does,butthars notwhy. Vocal contortions and bugle. would be at other places. SLUG: Fiz Magazine said not to tum '" SOUTH The COWS have half a dozen LP's SLUG: What do you listen to when your back on Kevin. available on Tom Hazelmayet's Am- you're relaxingat home or on the road. KEVIN: Yeah Isaw that and Icouldn't phetarnine Reptile label. COWS: Charlie Pride, Hendrix, Muddy figure out what the hell that was who JUNE 1888 0 0&W@ hatandwakconfused. Imean, it's not question; who is Dr. Sphincter? ike Itried to ass-rape him or anything. KEVIN: Tom Hazelmayer. The picture SHANNON: But don't you remember on thecover of 'Plowed'is hidrinking king stuff like that? This is something his lovely wife, Lisa's urine. There are mtty mnt, a couple of times I've little known truths. If you turn it upside xawled naked into bed with guys. I'm down, it's pretty obvious that is's urine. mt gay or anything, I don't know what SHANNON: The pictureon the back is t is, get drunk and I just wanna hold from the Mormon bible. iomething. THOR: Ils Jesus getting head. !LUG: WhaYs your take on grunge- SHANNON: I sent him a free copy. par as a fashion statement. KEVIN: Doctor Sphincter is actually a comic in Minneapolis named Rich something, Iforgot his last name. He puts out stuff which might be on public access or PBS. They're syndicating some of his shows now. He's been aroundfora long time. He'sgota band that opens for us sometimes. He's a little wiggly, he gets nervous. THOR: Did you see the gorillas? There's guys in gorilla suits out there. SLUG: Maybe they're from the escoct senrice. KEVIN: Excellent1 That makes me want to get drunk. I have conquered See Dick. .. AIDS! I don't have AIDS at all. I'm merely an alcoholic without enough beer. gee Dick buy a JILL: The apemen are here. KEVIN: That's good news. Gibby I1 Haynes tow a story inan inte~ewthat guitar from "Store B. I know is probably not true but I love this idea. He claimsthe Buttholeswere playing at some Halloween party or See Dick. . pay a 25% ... q something and two guys showed up dressed as Abe Lincoln and got in a financing charge. :And now, the most important fist fight. See Dick have a big guy named Frank come to his house, repossess his guitar, beat up his family and kill his dog. Don't be a Dick! Shop at.. . Guitar Ga~~ervI

17th South Main Street- 484=0800 OOSinoeFreodbeganpokingarcund under people's ids, people feel free to too. call a question in response to a ques- OOThe fimt communicatkn break- tion an answer. down signs occur when we expect OOBut do we call an answer to an people to pay attention to us. Some 00 I'm often tempted when some- answer a queslion? Of course not. views as seMshly arrogant our belief RHD MY LIPS b.d~provids~ananswertoaqu~OOForMn languages aren't in the that what we have to say merits atten- Ihaven't askedvettoresdwiththe e~~uationfor brevitv sake. One lan- tion. OOaMumble,rmmbleinthe kitchen." question to which they had just pro- guage to rnisukdat a time is OO(Sorne statements can't be ig- 00 What?" vkledthe answer in hopesof getting an enough. A paradox: many English- nored or misunderstood: %is is a 00'1 said: in the kitchen, in the answer to the question I had so far speaklng Americans treats English as stidc-up," or'Yw'refired,"or'I'mpreg- kitchen." 'Smatterthyou? Pay 'tench." fruitlessly ~sed.The ho~ethat two a foreign language. nant.") OOThis example is typical of a major illogical itziements will eqba~a logical OOHaste may contribute to this di- OOClearly, some people areundear communication problem Ibelieve most one isthe sameconcept as thedouble lemma. Ourtechndogy-advancedage deliberately. If there was no purposein communicah between humans is negative, or two wrongs don't make a hasn't produced more leisure as ad- being undear, ask yourself why ID so flawed at some stage that misun- right but three do. Thus: vertised, but more haste. We're get- body understands legal, tax, or insur. derstanding is the only thing comrm- OO'Are you Mr. Kelpus' secretary?" ting lazier, quicker. anceconpanyfwms. Yw'resupposed nicated, OO'Mr. Kelpus is in today." OOTheresult?WesWpthe middleto to pay the people who wrote them to 00 1 exempt animals in my treatise. 00 Unforhrnatelythe usual response gettothe good stuff. For example, how translate them for you. Obsenre: 'Cato. Wonder Kmy of mine, is, 'I just said Iam. 'S~wthyou? Pay many of you skipped from the flrst OOlmagine a world where every. how would you like to help metakeout tendl." paragraph of this cdumn to the last body speaks so dearly lawyers arenY the trash?" 00 Another: 'I have a headache" is a and aren't reading this? neededtotranslateforus. Glastnost In OO'Meow." ('Buzz off, twit, I'm trying time-honored answer to the queslion OOYou see? Your Face. Gorp: 'Cut weaponskis7 to take a nap.") 'Do you wanna?" It means 'No." But if OOOnce you know a guy is a repub- Bush: 'Yep. Free Lithuania?" Oorb: OOSee? Flawless comprehension. a tax hike were on the ballot, wbulM it lican, do you conclude hedoesn't wear 'Da." insightful communication, perfect un- be the same if you pendled in 'I have U.S. flag underwear? And once yy OOThat oI' dWlcynicism tempts derstanding. a headache" instead of 'No?" know a woman is a Democrat, do you me to say that it's bad enough some OOUnfortunately it ain' so with hu- 00 Reme* the question is put in conclude she isn't a hand grenade- people talk with their mouth full but too mans. a political context. PdMdans $peek throwing member of the NRA? many also talk with their brain empty. 00Another example: fluent Wonddandlsh. The morning OOLabels are thinking shortcuts. The problemis deeper and will require 00'1s Kevin Kelpus in today?" after is ohApril 15. They free us so that we have more a larger sh0v.d to dg up. OO'l'm not his secretary." OOAnothec: 'Have you seen where I time for apathy, despair, domestic vio- OOThe ultimate secret in effeuive, 00 Now, of course, it's perfectlydear put my glasses?" lence and TV news. communication, it appeas, is listening. whether or not the subject of our in- OOMWhat'sthat on your nose, OODo you think some people skip 00You ddn't know that? gui N is or not. isn't it? beetlebrain? A wistwa!ch? steps because they expect opthers to OO'Smatterthyou? Pay 'tench.

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luth 500 West @ 322.3425 1 TER POOL LIVE MUSIC 1 WITH AUOF US WORKING WlTH ZAY WE CMI I I BRING IT Ml BACK! SUPPORT WHm YOU CAN! I three times its previous size. And it compliments. If the male shou# appears to be doing some sort of stumble into the domain of a feinale, dance. it's swaying too and fro. As if shewillinject hervenominto hissoul, it were attempting to hypnotize me. causing paralyses. She will next Why is it doing that?" Her vision steal the key to his mi*. UnMhi blink, hemaystrike. What isthisviper remains foced on the serpent as she head and trespass on his dreams. SNAKE Hk.wi.B doing?" stmkes it with her finger. Sbwly eroding them with her pres- She koks back at her soldier. "Apparentty it has mistaken you ence, until they wash away with the r. bradford yates "Well Sir. Right now he's lying quietly for another viper. A female viper, as rain. With the index finger on her right in some tallgrass. Wait! He'sstirring. thii one displays the behavior of a These female vipers wear such hand, she creates invisible drdes on Yes, lthinkthat Iapproached him. He male by taking the aegressive mle. fine costumes making it very hadfor hichest. Her head restson hibelly appears dmwsy and disoriented." Thisisoneflawinvipwsociety. Fmm the male-be he passive or reactiveto andwith herearpressedfinnlyagainst "What you must now do is, get a the moment d bitth, vipers are ex- deny Such beauty. This isandalways histomach, she can hear the hum- hotd of him. Amund the neck" pected to behave in diierent man- will be the fall of the male." His ming of satellites. Very far off satel- Her breath comes in slight pants ners, according to gender assign- reapiraton increases with his pulse., lites. This doesn't bother her now. across his belly. 'Wouldn't it be pru- ment. The species that you are He finds himself in need of a greater ; The room is encased in ten feet of dent to tum and flee Sir?" The soldier dealing with socialive their males to supply of oxygen. She continues lead to keep out the prying eyes of takes a step backward. be the aggressor. While the females stroking the viper. Hi head falls those fied orbit wyeurs. "No! You must not turn your are more likely to accept a more back, hined< tense, mouth open. Hichest is soaked with sweat. back, or show any sign of fear. they passive mle. This systerq creades "Is there any other way to In fad, hi entire body is wet. The can sense it you know. You see that various neurosis in the male, some- pease this beast of prey?" The mo- thermometer outside says that it's ring amund it's nd?" times leading to violent exchanges tionsubsides. Herbreathonthenedc one-hundred and three degrees. He She moves her face dosertothe with members of the same sex. of the snake. Thesnakequivers and sips on a cigarette with his eyes finger puppet. 'Yes Sir, I think'l see Sometimes it will appear aloof and attempts to leap from her grasp. Its dosed. Thetelevisionscreen issnow. what you're speaking about." distantwiththeopposite. Thedanger head swollen. Atraceof venomon its "It's just like Christmas, isn't it?" He inhalesdeeplyoffthecigarette comes with the variations in ex- lips. "Wait...l'm notcertainweatheror She is staring at the screen. She has and holds it in. The smoke itself tremes ..." not this is an approved method, but I been for over an hour. With her causing the expansion of the air sacs She cups her hand amund the oncesaw aprogramon P.B.S. There fingerson her left hand, she makes a in his lungs. He speaks while the snakes neck The snake retreats for was a female snake handler. She liiman who walk about his stom- smoke exits. 'Well soldier. That area asecond, then tenses up wain. She was attempting to remove venom ach. Cautiously, this liilemake be- is extremely sensitive. It can detect feels the blood pulsing, swimming from a viper, a bt like this one, only live person places a foot in his belly even the slightest movement. The thru its veins. It seems strange that smaller. I seem to remember her button. "You're a hairy man you most minute change in barometric such a violent creature could remain doing something liie this." She lib know?" pressure. Now that it has spotted so soft to the touch. Her hand slides her head off of hi stomach, arches "Uh-huh." His eyes still cbsed- you, there is no retreating. You must up and down the length of the beast. her back and swings her left leg over the finger man marches south. pacify it. Do you read me?" More tension, then, relax. And ten- his torso-facing him now, she takes 'There's a whole garden here." "Loud and dear Sir. Requesting sion, relax. his shoulders in her palms. Gently The soldier pauses. "Is it safe?" procedure on disabling the viper Sir." "...With some male vipers, there she lib him from the pilbw until hi Should he retreat? There may be Overhead passes a jet airliner. is little if any riiof an aggressive face is millimeters from hers. He boabie traps." Its mar blocking transmission as he encounter. Though these ones are opens his eyes. Her mouth is placed Hieyes open now. They stare speaks. He speaks sbwly. His voice the least likely to mate as the more over his. His eyes dose. "Do these at the cracks in the wallpapered only vaguely audible below the din of aggressive ones win in the vying for vipers mate for liie?" Agaiinst hi ceiling. "There are no baobie traps. thejet. "...untilthevenom isextraded. females. mouthshewhispers. Eyelashestidde However, Allii Command has is- Do you read?" Survival of the fittest as Darwin her cheek. sued warnings that all personnel "Sony Sir. Wasn't able to copy once put it. "Some do. Some don!. tt has a should be on guard wainst attacks that. Some of our fly boys' were The less aggressive ones can bt to do with the occupation of the by vipers. Said vipers contain ex- passing overhead. Please repeat usually be found at homeon a Satur- male." tremely potent venom which they last transmission." day night, watching television or- "And supposingthismale has no contain in the large glands visible at "Roger. As I was saying earlier. perhaps writing poetry that no one occupation?" Her mouth gliitohis the base of the head." His eyelids fall You must grab it too low as it is very will ever see. On the other hand. ear. "Inthatcase,theanswer is almost shut.' flexible when at rest." He strains his These winners in the battle for pm- "If an enliiee should stumble earsto hearthe faint, distant moan of creation can often be found in bars always no. She will atways have an across one of these vipers, what the jet. cinemas; bvety rilebbndeviperson eye out for another. Oh sure, she'll procedure should be used to subdue "Sir. Ibelieve that it's becoming their arms, whispering in their ears. keep him amund untilaweallhermale and pacifythebeast?" Her face turns agitated. It's riiing intothe air. Gmw- These vipers laugh a lot. comes around. When she finds an- around to fax hi. "Helb? Come in ing larger." Her eyes become by and ~emalevi~ersarevetytreaAer- other. She's gone as qulddy as she Allii Command." mund as she watches the nature ous. Beware of them ..." appeared. Wthout explanation." "There are several methods of exhibit occurring before her. Her hand moves faster now. Pulling her badc away she kicks taming vipers. The most effective 'That's good. It's easier to ex- Stroking the neck of the snake. Oc- rigM at him. 'That's horrible!" She being message. Have you spotted a tract the venom that way. Try poking casionally, her fingers straying to then places her cheek on hishouC viper?' at it with your foot until it seems to be where this viper stores its venom at der. "Yes sir, there's one at my feet." fully erect." the base. They rove about, squeez- Being unobserved during this Wave you made eye contact Wth the index finger on her left ing gently. diadion.Theviper,free now,qu*b with the creature in question?" hand, she taps the ring around the "...They are very sly.,." He swab t&es shelter in a near by cave. "Yes Sir. It's staring right at me." neck of the beast. "R's working sir." lows hard. "...theyare alsoclever and The viper quivers in the ''Good. Now you must retain eye What's it doing?" can be demanding. They require moist cave, then relaxes for a lonq contact at all times. If you so much as 'Well Sir. It's grown to at least constant attentionandshoweringwith sleep. MARTINA'S IN THE MOOD FOR A LI'ITLE ITALIAN "DAZZLING,..an audacious mix of action and animation, A one=of=a=kinddelight!"

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