a laurierwiflrid studentpublication volumeissue xxxvi20 '§5S^S5v;- the Cord thursday,3,feb. 1994 INSIDE : I This is your brain. I

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I This is your brain on I I Saturday night. I W'f I free before 9:00 I I 341 MARSLAND DR. WATERLOO I NEWS Students read storybooks ALEXANDRA LAWSON local community. It was at this up Saturday mornings for 10:00 will welcomc Wermer Zimmerman, group really needs now are book Cord News time that Laurier Students for Lit- a.m. Tina Zalac, a first year Psy- authorofthechildren'sbook,"Henny donations. Ifyou haveany old chil- dren's books that you would like to Last year two business students, eracy began. This year it has grown chology student and volunteer Penny." off in Linda Jam and Clinton Howell, substantially; there are 75 volun- says,"It means I can't stay out as If any students are interested in donate, you can drop them office. Any were given an assignment to start a teers working for the organization. late on Friday nights, but it's volunteering for the Literacy group the Students' Union greatly program which would benefit the Each week the volunteers wake worth the effort when you see the you can pick up an application in the book donation would be kids enthusiasm towards the pro- Students' Union officc. What the appreciated. gram." And there is enthusiasm; on Saturdays up to 55 children Food Services likely to come out, ranging in age from threetotwelveyearsold. Laurier Students for Literacy also have increase prices reading sessions on Monday nights in Baden, and Tuesdays in Kitchener. MARK HEASLEY to 14.1% below average. Billyea These reading sessions in- Cord News said that "relative to quality, Lau- volve pairing a child with a vol- "The purpose of Food Services is ricr students are getting good unteer. They also have reading feeding quality food to the students prices." circles, where each child, if they at reasonable prices" states Food The current collective agree- are able, is given the opportunity Services Manager Donna Faulkner. ment between WLU and the Union to read aloud. But you would not know it from the that staffs the Torque Room and The Literacy Program has grumblings of the students them- Dining Hall is another point of received a lot of positive feed- selves. contention. Monday through Fri- back from parents about their Current WLU Board of Gover- day this staff receives wages any- children's reading progress. nors representative David Bigioni is where from ten to fifteen dollars an Tania Clement, who holds a student who has callcd for students hour. the Public Relations position to "get tough with the university" for However, the lack of a "conti- within the Literacy program, said, the prices of food in the Torque Room nental work week" in this agree- earn- "It's hard in the classroom for and Dining Hall. ment has the exact same staff to $24 hour doing the teachers to do one on one work Is WLU unfairly charging its stu- ing up an with the kids. They are at differ- dents for the food they need to live exact same job on the weekend. ent reading abilities so this gives (and are required to buy in thecaseof This contract is due for rene- the kids time to practice with a those living in residence)? Not ac- gotiation this July. When asked reading buddy." cording to the Administration. whether students could expect Laurier Students for Literacy In an interview with Ancillary lower food prices if wages were has many exciting events com- Services Director Cliff Billyea, a decreased, acting WLU VP of Fi- ing up. They are welcoming au- comparison ofsixteen university meal nance and Planning Ron Craig said thor Joellene Bogart on Febru- plans was shown as revealing that that "everything will be on the ta- ary 5, and on February 12 they Laurier charges anywhere from 12.5 ble [at the negotiations], but time- Reading to the future. Pic: Ron Zeeman and-a-half to double time pay for weekend work is not an uncom- mon practice" Election Analysis: Part Two ofa series ofthree Craig said that "as its [Food JIM LOWE Services']customers, students have crowd. Bigioni acted confrontational didates, Robb Hadlcy, Lloyd Naka/.a. every right to ask questions about Cord News Commentary Pikar refused to let his lack of with both the audience and his Brad Ross and Jay Waddcn stood Despite (he best attempts of a bun- the end-product, but price alone experience be painted as a liabil- opponents, seeming particularly out. Hadley and Wadden handled; - gling Election Council, the annual should not just be looked at we ity, arguing that a fresh face would annoyed with Pikar. Although questions well, and the sparse crowd Students' Union exercise in de- also offer high quality. If students revitalize the Union. Spoltore con- Bigioni should still be able to seemed to appreciate their prepara-j has reached the home don't like it, they can vote with mocracy tinued to emphasize his personal garner a number of votes, his tion. stretch. their feet and go elsewhere for leadership ability and people in the hostility certainly didn't win him Nakaza and Ross seemed some-' Thisycar'scampaign has been food." audience appeared genuinely im- any newconvertsamongthosein what less comfortable with the task plagued by poorly advertised Open Unfortunately, ifastudent lives pressed with his sincere commit- attendance. of public speaking. When they got Forums, questionable rulings, and in any other residence but Bricker menttomake Laurier a betterplace. The Vice-Presidential de- over their nervousness, both demon- $1900 a habit by the Council to overstep they are required to buy the Dave Tricker and Ailcen bates went about as expcctcd. strated progressive thinking and the its mandated powers. minimum meal plan, and are not as McPherson also emerged from the Stefan Gleis asserted that it was potential to be effective directors. The unfortunate thing is, most I ikely to "vote with their feet" ifthe Forum with new supporters. Tricker time for new blood, but was un- The remainderof the candidates of the problems could have been money is already spent. was, by far, the best public speaker able to diagnose any problems were pretty much indistinguishable avoided if the EC had bothered to Another problem is that of of the bunch, but rarely strayed with the current administration. from one another, with two excep- listen to Adrienne Hodgin and suppling food to conferences on from his published platform. He was consistently the only can- tions. Both Peter Hearty (93/94 BOD) Charlie Angelakos, the only two campus. In its mandate food serv- McPherson looked a little un- didate not to be applauded by the and Jim (93/94 FYC) were Council members with York ices is to "actively seek out special election comfortable on the stage, but was crowd. experience. questioned regarding their poor at- food service opportunities which still able to emphasize her experi- Scott McCormick gave the tendance at their respective boards; Nevertheless, the twenty-nine would utilize the university serv- ence and volunteer-centred ap- impression of a confident front- neither was willing to take responsi- candidates have survived thus far, ices when not required for students proach. runner. He was able to get his bility for their past problems though, and will be spending the next few and to offer food services on a Phil Kinzinger continued to points across and avoid shooting and attempted to cast the blame on days jockeying for position in the profit basis in the community". tout his Passive Nihilist philoso- himself in the foot like Bigioni. individuals and/or factors. hearts and minds of Laurier stu- other Meanwhile, food services has phy. While his statements ab- dents. may have With several candidates Unfortunately, the Open Forums budgeted a $52 137loss on supply- elicited laughs from the audience, sent from the Board of Directors will have little impact on who gets Ralph Spoltore has got the most ing food to conferences. A loss his mere presence unnecessarily Open Forum, their debate was who doesn't. The elec- momentum going into Tuesday's elected and that, acccording to Cliff Bilyca, detracted from the valid arguments not nearly as tedious as one might tion will be won and lost over the vote but, with seven individuals will be far in excess of this pro- that the real candidates were trying have thought. next few days, where or- competing for the Presidency, no campaign jected loss. to make. The forum was dominated one is guaranteed victory. ganization will be essential. This is Bilyea does not see food prices Geoff Thureson demonstrated by the more experienced candi- particularly true the Presidential The consensus seems to be that in on campus goingany other way but his commitment to, or contempt dates: Chris Bradley, Joel Lynn, racc. Spoltore was the big winner in up. "The cost of the food, wages, for, democracy by not bothering to Craig Moffatt and Todd Th The candidate who is best able Monday's Open Forum, with Saar ibert. to and utilities are inching up, but show up. All four impressed the audience core out Pikar also leaving a favourable get their of supporters on offsetting that is our desire to im- The big loser in the Presiden- with their grasp of the issues. be the next impression on the Concourse Tuesday will President of prove the efficiency of our opcra- tial debate was Dave Bigioni. Among the lesser known can- the Students Union. 4 NEWS THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 & Planning for inertia PROSSteve DoakCONS Most faculties also have their taxes, and benefits from citizens dents, brilliant professors, diligent attractive to possible donors so that Commentary own five-year plans, but there has CordNews / with higher education, and the chil- support staff, and loyal alumni, all we can finance all of the plans we The administration has set Laurier been no such plan for the Univer- dren of the future who will inherit in co-operation under the maternal have for the future. It is more pad- on a course for adventure with their sity as a whole. Recently, there has our legacy. guidance of the efficient but com- ding to be added to the regular minds on a new romance. been pressure from the govern- Upon her arrival at Laurier a passionate administration. Lauricr mail-out. The January 18 issue of the ment and the University's Board year and a half ago Lorna Marsden The introduction asks mem- The discussion paper contains Laurier News included "A Look at of Governors, partially stimulated was praised for her excellence in bers of this Eutopian micro-civili- twenty challenges and proposed Laurier: Discussion Paper for a by the Broadhurst Report on Ac- public relations rather than her ex- sation to decide if they fit into this action plans to improve Laurier. Long-Range Plan." Members of countability, to create such a mas- perience in universities. As she model. It doesn't acknowledge the These range from broad strokes the administration have been con- ter plan. herself has often pointed out, one fact that Mao Zedong, Helen Keller, such as asking alumni to be in- templating a long-range plan for In all organisations, long-range of her principle goals is to improve Charles Bronson, the Reverend volved with the University and in- about a year, and now they have plans have to be balanced between Laurier's image in the community. Jimmy Jones, and all of their fol- cluding staff in planning to recom- asked for input from the rest of the being specific and likely inaccu- Most people beyond the borders of lowers would fit into this model. mending processes already under Laurier community. rate on the one hand, and being too campus have only a rough idea of To the Laurier community, this way such as the introduction of an Mission statements and long- generalised to be useful on the what Laurier is about and what its is simply a glorified image of uni- Internationalisation strategy. Most range plans already exist through- other. In our case, for example, strengthsare. Increasingthis knowl- versities in general. The govern- of these recommendations are im- out the University. For example, plans based on the government's edge would add value to a Laurier ment will probably not be respon- portant, but relatively minor parts the Vision: 2020 campus plan fundingcommiments two years ago degree as respect for the school sive to it cither, because its efforts of administration. The administra- roughly outlines the physical would have been rendered useless grows and attract more donations to place a value on the activities tion's daily activities will not be changes to occur on the Laurier as the government repeatedly re- from the private sector. and output of universities have re- altered by them, nor will the school campus over the next thirty years. neged on its promises. The discussion paper on the peatedly disappeared in the quick- improve noticeably. The University's forthcomingcapi- The next problem of conceiv- long-range plan indicates that this sand of bureaucracy. A long range plan could be a tal campaign will attempt to raise ing such a plan is determining to attitude is the dominating trend in This paper can only be aimed valuable addition to existing plans. the millions of dollars necessary to whom it should be directed. Our the administration. The introduc- at the private sector - the success- Supposedly, that was the original transform WLU into a competi- activities here affect students, the tions to each section of the paper ful corporation lookingfora promi- intention. Such a plan would iden- tive, modernized institution pre- government that funds us, thecom- describe the Laurier community as nent, respectable charity to sink tify both the strengths and the weak- pared for the next century. munity that gives donations, pays characterized by prodigious stu- their funds into and the common nesses existing in the institution. couch-potato who's senses are too Then, a course of action would dullencdto lookfurthcrintowhat's logically emerge to improve upon Studentsraise their voice forProf being thrown at him. weak points and to draw more upon Don't get me wrong. I have strong points. LORI DODMAN three categories were being equally egory is more important than an- respect for this University and the Instead, it looks like the long- AMANDA DOWLING stressed, he replied, "I don't know other." abilities of our administration. But range plan will give a dressed-up Cord News if I would say that. I guess I would At the time of publication, the it seems that the main purpose of view of the University as it oper- The tenured profs in the Political say that all categories arc being decision to renew Gonick's con- this paper is to make Laurier more ates in today's inertia. Science department voted against looked at carefully. Lev has con- tract had not yet been released, but renewing Professor Lev Gonick's tributed in all areas. I am not pre- it is rumored that it will be out contract in the fall, and this deci- pared to say publicly that one cat- before the end of the week. sion has left students fuming. The administration has at- tempted to keep conversation on this topic to a minimum while the various levelsof bureaucracy make We Sell Bl their recommendations on this THANK matter. Black & White Some students feel that the administration is not doing enough Film and Developing to heartheirviews before makinga decision. These students have cir- 400 ASA Film & Developing culated a petition and they plan to YOU. protest ifthe verdict is to let Gonick go- Has the administration done Thanks to you, the recycling of newspapers in its job when it comes to consider- Ontario has reached an astonishing 75% recovery ing student comments? 4x6" $2 or 10 for $15.00 rate among households with Blue Box service. Art Read, Dean of Arts and 5x7" $3 or 10 prints for $25.00 Science, feels that the administra- 8x10" $6 or 5 prints for $25.00 How much is that? Quite simply, more than a tion has been receptive to the stu- AjgMll quarter of a million tonnes of newspapers wer: dents' complaints. He explained This way you don't pay for the bad prints that he "did not have time to get garbage dumps in 1992, which already you choose. You can pre-piek your pics ifi | H kept out of into conversation with a stream of and order only the ones you like. I—J exceeds the provincial and national targets set for students," but that he would read We alse do 2 passport photos for $5. and consider the written opinions the year 2000. These old newspapers would fill of students. Student Publications Photo Department 35,000 garbage trucks, a humper-to-humper The opinions came flooding in. All who wrote to the Dean re- convoy that would stretch from loronto to ceived an E-mail response or letter Kingston. Most importantly, newspaper recycling ensuring the students that their landfill dumping costs and our need for views were being taken into con- Imagine... reduces sideration. This impersonal reply A|£% new and expanded dump sites. did not sit well with many of the students who have continued their Enrichment % -M ' Recycling newspapers and flyer inserts is a real plans to protest. , , Challenge | fe > Ontario success story. Congratulations for your Because theadministration has 112 failed to clarify the issue, rumours Opportunity ; part. about the reason for the negative vote arc flying. Professor Gonick is presently employed under a two year Provi- University's International Study Centre at Herstmon- sional Contract which will expire Queen's ceux Castle gives students the opportunity to experience a study term onJune3oth 1994.The next poten- abroad while earning credits toward a university degree. The program tial contract to be offered is a three includes courses in the arts, social sciences, humanitiesand business. year Candidacy Contract. Receiv- Excursions to historical sites and cultural institutions in Britain and a contract a profes- ing such gives other European countries provide students with unique opportunities for sor for tenure. the right to apply learning and exchanging ideas. Consider a study term abroad at a Queen's The decision to renew pro- University's International Study Centre. fessor's contract is based upon three For more information call or write: considerations: the professor's Admissions Office, University, teaching abilities, their participa- Queen's tion in university community serv- Victoria School Building, Kingston, Ontario, Canada, K7M 2D6 ices, and their contributions in the Newspaper Publishers of Ontario areas of research and publication. 1-613-545-2815 The When Read was asked if these THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 NEWS 5 IN BREVITAS Open politics Election fines at Laurier Four fines have been levied so far under the elections policy against MARK HEASLEY Highlights also included Laurier Live piping in candidates running for office at Students Union. "These fines were Cord News Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" and a issued mostly from the election poster policies", said BOD member This past Monday saw next year's potential Lauricr general air of Bonne Homie for the Ontario Under- Martin Chartrand. Chartrand refused to comment on which candi- student representatives spew forth their platforms on graduate Student Alliance. dates had violated the policy. contemporary issues facing the student population at The policy was revised in January 1993 as a result of election large. problems in previous years. The Presidential candidates furthered the views According to the revised elections policy, advertising materials they expressed earlier in Cord interviews, and in the can only be placed on cement block, brick walls, and bulletin boards. words of candidate Ralph Spoltore "the problem is Signs cannot be posted on glass, windows, doors, or in stairwells, that we all agree". On almost all major issues, all the escalators, or in the library (except on classroom levels). The candi- candidates (except Phi 11 Kinzinger, who pooh-poohed dates are only allowed to place five banners in the Dining Hall, the every issue) agreed. Atrium and the Torque Room. Regarding the Ontario Undergraduate Student The candidates arc not allowed to campaign in Student Publica- Alliance (OUSA) and its stand on tuition hikes, Dave tions or Students' Union offices, or in profit ccntrcs such as Wilf's. Tricker spoke well for the rest of the candidates by Fines can be levied up to thirty pcrcent of the candidates' budgets, saying that "OUSA is an effective alternative (lobby which arc funded by Students' Union. If a candidate violates any part group), the government actually listens to them". of the elections, they are delt with in accordance with Idelcouncil. If Saar Pikar broke from the pack here, saying that you sec any candidate violating the above regulations, remember students should not have to pay for tuition and should these arc the candidates that may end up running your Students' organize a walk out in protest. Union. ANDREW "IRV" HOPPER The impending referendum on the Health Plan had some candidates (McPherson, Bigioni) sharing Water repairs for Willison Hall the upcoming plan to enter into a new insurance Repairs to a broken watermain caused the men of Willison Hall to be program through the business consortium. Spoltore without water for Monday and Tuesday this week. wanted to see a referendum on the health plan, and Water to Willison Hall was shut off at 8:00 a.m. Monday. Since Pikar wanted to keep the system mandatory to help then, the residents have had to use other facilities, such as those at the subsidize students with less money. Athletic Complex. George Kirk, a Willison Hall resident said they Saar Pikar summed up the candidates feelings on had been walking to the AC to shower in the mornings. the telephone issue, saying that the administration Shane Downey, a resident of Willison Hall said "Where do we go went about trying to save students' money the wrong to the washroom in the middle of the night?" way, and didn't sec it as big a problem as it was, with "The guys have been pretty good about [the water being off] repairs scheduled to finish in April. actually." said Chris Dodd, Head Resident of Willison Hall. "I can't On the issue of making course evaluations more say enough about how patient they've been." binding, a range of ideas came forth ranging from Ron Dupuis said the water had been shut off to repair a broken Aileen McPherson's suggestion of forcing Faculty, if watcrlinc, running from Willison Hall to Little House. Service was Acclaimed Student Publications President required, to improve the current calendar, toTricker's restored by 3:30 p.m. on Tuesday. Heather Mundell was also at the Open Forum. suggested "Anti-Calendar" published by students. The location of the break is not known, so work at the beginning Pic: Sheldon Page of this week was to restore water service from the main valve. Repairs will continue now that water service has been restored, to find the break and repair it. KATHLEEN HONEY Laurier the only school that didn't close down lastFriday morning KEN BREADNER decisions regarding campus closure. The document Cord News Commentary does not say what factors may influence the Presi- The radio jolted me awake last Friday morning with dent's decisions. the news that Waterloo Region had shut down. Ten The University of Waterloo, by contrast, has a millimetres of freezing rain and thirty millimetres of clear-cut policy based on the actions of the Waterloo rain had turned the world into a combination swim- County Board of Education. If the Board closes, the ming pool and skating rink. I took a look out at my University closes. driveway. It looked like a bobsled run. Okay, I Wilfrid Laurierdid eventually close at 2:30, after thought, today will be a good day to catch up on my the bulk of classes were over. No figures are avail- sleep. No way am I risking my life out there. able to show the number of professors and students Pic: Deb Duiker The news continued. "Pearson truant that day. The main entrance International has been closed for to campus was blocked off due to »'* 11 the first time in its history...the "Laurier is still open, ice; the majority of the walkways police say don't drive unless you I repeat, still open" were not passable until late after- absolutely have to...needless to noon. say, every educational institution Contrary to a widespread ru- in Waterloo has closed for the day." mour on campus, the University does not lose any "Ofcourse", 1 muttered, already halfway back to grant money, from the province or elsewhere, if they my undercover work. close before noon. Gary Lambert, University Con- "Except Laurier. They arc a different breed at troller. said that "our funding is predetermined...! Laurier. Laurier is still open, repeat, still open." don't think it would be affected by our opening or I got out of bed and stomped to the shower. closing at a certain time". with our Recycled Cards y| The Emergency Response guidelines, drafted in Dean of Students Fred Nichols, when contacted, December of 1992, state that the President makes all said that we have a "stubborn administration". in Good only 5-9pm Thursday. I 91.99 1/2 LB. Wld y 10/94 Mfor 1 BURGER & FRIES \\U tSo"vpurchase necessary I *drink purchase necessary _ _ _*dmk 6 NEWS THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 Budgets, cutbacks, GST,bills... so tell me what else is new SH.. IT HAPPENS

AMAL MOUSSAOUI ther the traditional accrual or cash basis systems arc Brought to you by Peter Jorg, Acting Security Supervisor

Cord News Commentary being used. Instead, a haphazard system of billings Jan. 26 - 14:30 : Mischief This week's BOD meeting was dominated by one and recording is currently in place. Both Rosenblatt A WLU student reports that when she returned to her parked car both word: BUDGET. In our times this word can only and Bradley gave their assurances that the revenue her rear tires were flat. She originally thought that someone had been evoke images of two other dirty words that bring and expense figures that they quoted would not change playing a practical joke on her, but when the vehicle was towed to a chills and shivers to the bones of our otherwise high enough with proper accounting procedures to im- garage it was discovered that the tires had been punctured by what spirited Boardof Publications Representatives: CUT- prove the financial picture. A time lapse in billing appears to have been a knife. There are no suspects at the present time. BACKS and DEBT. revenues and properly allocating costs are problems Investigation is continuing.

In the case of cutbacks, the BOD had previously that an improved accounting system can take care of. Jan. 27 - 01:20 : Mischief slashed honourariums for Publications staff by 30 To explain the rising expenses, Sheldon Page Custodial staff reported that the window in the door leading from the percent. The BOD also trimmed the fat off all (Cord Editor-in-Chief) and the BOD treasurer will Students' Union Building and the Concourse had been broken. No publication expenses, which can not be cut further. attend the next BOD meeting. Director Heather one seems to have heard or seen anything. No suspects. Expenses, therefore, were to be Mundcll noted that since further Jan. 27 : Non-Reportable MVA watched dutifully to avoid debt. cutbacks cannot be implemented, A WLU student reported that while he was driving out of Lot #7 he Chris Bradley and Michael the BOD must concentrate on lost control of his vehicle due to the icy conditions and struck a parked Rosenblatt reported the inevitable fundraising activities. She further vehicle, damaging the passenger side mirror.

news to the other board members suggested that the BOD looks into Jan. 28 - 01:10 : Trespass regarding the most recent figures, re-hiring an independent salesman A Conestoga College student was evicted from the Turret after from December 31, 1993. Ad rev- to raise revenues for Keystone ads entering the premises when told that the doors were closed for the enues from the Keystone, which were which have sharply declined. night. He was advised to leave campus. A short time later he was seen previously budgeted to be $11 000 A regular budget review will by Security in the area of the Info Booth and he was issued a written have in fact gone down to under now be in place. Tighter control of trespass notice.

$5000. National Ads, which were thc billing procedures was also Jan. 28 - 05:20 : Medical Assistance expected to be $8500 are in reality only $1471. mentioned. The billing issue was paid particular at- A member of the custodial staff slipped on the ice in front of 232 King Along with the sharp decline in ad revenues, tention to, as an unidentified $700 bill for fixing the and sustained a cut above the right eye. He was driven to K/W there has been a sharp increase in expenses. Publish- $700 scanner was to be reviewed. Hospital. ing expenses, telephone bills and computer supplies The importance of this budget report is high- Jan. 30 - 22:45 : LLA Violation have all dramatically increased. Most notably, the lighted by the fact that under the new operating A University of Waterloo student, due to his bad behaviour, was expenses for publishing are $9000 over budget. agreement negotiated by the WLUSP President and charged with being intoxicated in a public place. Subject was escorted One unexpected expense, which called a serious Board last year, the Students' Union is under no off campus and given a verbal warning.

oversight on the BOD's part, is the Goods and obligation to financially assist the Publications Board. Jan. 30 - 04:00 : Mischief Services Tax. This issue, which not surprisingly This measure was put in last year to make Student's While on routine patrol, officers found the glass door leading from the struck a raw nerve with BOD's Chairman Phill Publications more autonomous. Arts Building to the Paul Martin Centre had been damaged. It appears Kinzinger, resulted in him breaking his gavel in the Last year, WLUSP was roughly $40 000 in debt, that someone had tried to force the door after the magnetic locks were process of striking down a question about whether which was paid off by the Union. Whether or not the engaged, thereby bending the frame and cracking the glass.

the new computer prices being quoted by Rosenblatt Union will help Pubs carry through its debt and Jan. 30 - 08:30 : Miscellaneous Assistance included GST. consequently continue its operations is yet to be Officers assisted with a request from a concerned parent that he had Another serious issue that plagued the budget determined. not been able to get an answer on the phone after attempting to contact report was the accounting procedures involved in In otherbusiness, BOD member Jeff Oegema will his son in Bricker Residence for the past two days. Officers located producing the figures. As any student who has taken be removed from the election council committee for the student and it was found that his phone was malfunctioning and a course in financial accounting will point out, nei- his lack of attendance at committee meetings. l he was not aware of it.

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cCJ 1> February 7, 1994 5:30 - 7:30 p.m. "fc&X Paw/ Martin Centre Don't miss out!! Ii THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 NEWS 7 Senate squeeze

Thursday February 3 in the Paul Martin Centre AMANDA DOWLING under the University's long range of one class. It is hoped that the 11:30 to 12:30 p.m. Career Ex- Until April 4: the WLU Canadian Cord News plan. Students in all departments added instructor in the classroom plorations for Economics Majors, University/ College Stock Market "There's obviously a limit to the can look forward to "much larger" will help to give students a wider in Career Services. Competition.. Registration Infor- amount ofjuice that can be squeezed class sizes as well. breadth of knowledge. -7:30 p.m. The Muslim Study mation over the Internet, or by from the lemon," said V.P. Aca- As soon as larger lecture halls One student senator raised the Groupofthe University ofWater- calling 884-1970 ext.6107 or ext. demic Donald Baker at last Tues- x:an be built to accommodate them, concern that it may hinder teacher- 100 presentsMalcolm X and Is- 6581 day's Senate meeting. classes of as many as 600 students student relations to have more than lam. Room DC1351 Davies Cen- Tuesday February 8 This comment was made by could be introduced for introduc- one professor per class. The ad- tre, University of Waterloo. 5:30 p.m. Grad meeting P1025 Baker when discussing plans to tory courses such as Psychology ministration believes that the ben- Friday February 4 11:30 to 12:30 p.m. Career Ex- introduce student user fees to help 100 and Business 111. efits of team-teaching will out- -7:00 p.m. Canadian Crossroads plorations for Science Majors, pay for new athletic facilities. The "Not all classes can be semi- weigh any negative aspects. International is holding a dinner Room 2-205 new facilities are part of the Uni- nars" said Baker who stressed that At the conclusion of his re- at Victoria Park Pavillion. Waged 11:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. Pizza on versity's proposed long range plan, Laurier was committed to "offer- port, Baker introduced plans to $12, unwaged $8. Bring a non- sale in Concourse for the Grad which was discussed at length dur- ing the highest quality of educa- strike a committee to deal with perishable food bank item. committee. ing the meeting. tion possible... delivering within student complaints and petitions. February 6t012 is White Cane 3:30 p.m. Lecture by Robbie Keith, Along with the new facilities the resources [it] has." This is probably pcrfect tim- Week will speak on assessing the arctic will come a balance of new varsity, Team teaching is another con- ing on his part, because when the Monday February 7 environmental strategy. Room 5- intermural, and recreational pro- cept which the plan proposes to "lemons" learn about some of the 11:00 a.m. to2:00 p.m. The Cana- 304. For information call 884-1970 grams. These programs will be de- introduce at Laurier. Under the implications of the proposed long dian National Institute for the ext.2781 signed to cater to all members of new program two or more profes- range plan, they will be very sour Blind open house. 180KingStreet Wednesday February 9 the Laurier community, including sors would share in the teaching indeed. S. Suite 160, Waterloo. 11:30to 12:30p.m. Career Explo- females who have been somewhat -11:30 to 12:30 Career Explora- rations for Psychology Majors, shunned by the department in the tions for Music Majors, Room Room 2-205 past. SHAPE's Winterfest P2027. 2:30 to 4:00 p.m. Interview Skills The athletic department is not TRACEY BOWERS This is SHAPE'S first com- 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. Career Expo' 94 Workshop in Career Services. the only area that will see changes Cord News munity oriented event They hope Early last Saturday morning the to do more in the future but this is Athletic Complex was riddled their first year in operation. In the No privacy for cheque bouncers with laughter and good times as past they have held "secret mys- Winterfest 1994 got under way. tery tours" and run a hockey pool JENNIFER SCOTT including First Year student Tanya King who stated that Winterfest was organised and for their members. Their next Cord News "The name should be displayed for the employees to see, run by Students of Health And scheduled event is a spring formal. As one moves to the Laurier Bookstore counter to but not for the general public." Physical Education (SHAPE) here Although the club's name is pay for their purchases, a white sheet of paper with Shelley Worden, in charge of book acquisitions in at Laurier. It was a morning filled geared towards fitness, it is not boldly highlighted names catches the eye. It is stated the library, understands that bounced chcques arc some- with games and "good old fash- exclusive to physical education above the page, "Do not accept any cheques from:" times an honest mistake. "It happens sometimes when ion fun" for about a dozen special students. They currently have about and then lists the offenders. you thinka cheque hasn't cleared and it has cleared and needs high school students in the forty members, from multiple dis- This display of names has raised the question of you don't have the money in the account. You are given community. ciplines. As Paul Gray, SHAPE'S " how the Laurier Bookstore deals with NSF (Non- an opportunity to clear it up with the Bookstore first. SHAPE ran this free event secretary said, "you can get into Sufficient-Funds) cheques. Once a NSF cheque This is either done by phoning or writing to the with the help of over fifty volun- SHAPE without lifting a finger." comes back from the bank, the Bookstore will try to offender in question. If the person cannot be contacted teers. The volunteers ran games Anyone interested can fill out an contact the person so they have an opportunity to pay. or if the person is contacted and they do not settle the and ensured all participants had a membership form in the AC or get They understand that mistakes happen and how one matter with the Bookstore, the Bookstore will not accept great morning. in touch with then through campus can underestimate the amount of money in the bank any more cheques and the individual's name will appear Games offered included safe clubs. account. on the NSF list. and modified versions of ball Although many of the partici- One of the people listed was contacted pertain- The individual in question will also be fined fifteen throw, a fishing pond, blackjack, pants last Saturday were too busy to name on ing their being the list. This person dollars NSF concurring to University policy. These fines a batting cage and bowl ing among to comment, the excitement was claimcd not to have been contacted and felt it was are not always payed and the Bookstore is forced to others. Al 1 ofthe students received reflected in their faces. As "justifiable for the Bookstore to have their own sheet absorb the cost. participation ribbons and "medal- Winterfest 1994 came to a close, of NSF offenders for reference but it was unfair for NSF cheques are not a large problem though, says I ions" were awarded for first, sec- Gray announced that SHAPE " them to be publically displayed." Worden, do to the low rate of people writing bad ond and third place based on the hopes to hold another Winterfest This attitude is held by other Laurier students, cheques. Everyone seems to be honest." number points won in the games. next year. The Adventures ofBill and Bob! Brought to you by Softwarehouse DMF c 1994 Garry Johnson

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We should be 8) The pay-back of the CCBC seems good if down to us as by fate, the Cord has decided to 1) Tricker supports SUB getting more bang for our buck. on paper, Spoltore said, as long as the costs of focus on the race for Students' Union President expansion. Campus Clubs 4) Thureson said WLU's relations with the being a member stay low and the group shows and Vice President of University Affairs. We need space, and expansion community are going alright, such as with the that it has staying power. unfortunately have to neglect the race for Stu- will attract new studentsand blood drives and Shinerama. He said housing dents' Union Board of Directors, first because add value to a Laurier de- issues should be left up to landlords; the Union SaarPikar there's too damn many of them, and second should allow individuals to be responsible. gree. Tricker's 1) Pikar said Sean Taylor because most of them don't even know the 5) Relations with the administration de- "communiversity" idea provided a good plan for correct spelling for the Students' Union. pend upon the President - some have been bad would be applied to the sec- SUB expansion. The stu- First, then, for the presidential candidates. over the years and some have been good, ond floor, so we don't add services that are dents should decide what In a series of intense, hard-wrenching inter- Thureson said. He favours an attitude of"healthy nearby. For example, a drugstore might be more goes in the second floor views, each of them were given the following disrespect," not justbeing vocal but also getting appropriate than an ice cream parlour, since retail space, and the Presi- questions and asked to reply as extensively as after the administration about issues. there is one across the street. dent shouldn't have more they wished employing references to past and 6) Thureson said he does not like large say in this matter than any- present circumstances and plans for implemen- In regards to the Plan, it is bad to student organizations. The policies demanding Campus one else. Competition for Food Services would tation wherever appropriate. These questions move the Bookstore. The rest of the plan seems decreases in tuition seem unrealistic. It's more be good here, but competition for Wilf's would are based upon what seem to be the issues good, as long as the focus on teaching is not lost realistic to pull out of OUSA or at least to move be bad. dominating both the election campaigns and the in favour of research. Perhaps different foci back from the forefront of the organization. current President. 7) The Union have lots of referen- should be found for different professors. can't In the Campus Plan, there is a lot the admin- 1) What is your position on the expansion plans dums, Thureson so therefore the President 2) The current evaluations "leave much to said, istration missed, Pikar said. We should step for the Students' Union Building? What is your should keep in touch. He said he will continue be desired," Tricker said. An anti-calendar or back to find the existing problems. Forexample, position on the University's Campus Plan? from student course calendar "could give students a the general trend years past. the Seagram Stadium Circuit Plan isn't success- 2) What is your policy on course and teacher of Between ten and fifteen 8) Thureson said he is not familiar with the feeling efficacy." ful because it isn't convenient. The recent reno- evaluations? but he will listen to them to see if they students and/or faculty could be put in charge of CCBC, vationsofFood Services absorbed a lot ofmoney, 3) What is your position on student services, have any good ideas. writing them up. Costs could be kept low through but Pikar thinks it was made worse. It should such as ancillary services and the residence advertising revenue. have been a part of the Campus Plan. phones? The a bad 3) phone situation represented Ralph Pikar wants to avoid decentralisation of the 4) What is your position on WLU's role in the decision by the University, but WLUSU did a Spoltore 1) Spoltore said the SUB University, like what happened to the Univer- community? good job to go to the administration, Tricker Expansion Plansare "super sity of Windsor. Thus, he is opposed to the plan 5) How would you characterize WLUSU's and said. We got the lowest grade system available, He believes the to move the Bookstore. the students' relationships with the administra- and this was a bad time to change the phones. ideas." will be so great for 2)Pikarsaid thatcourseand professorevalu- tion? In Ancillary Services, we will have to get changes so many people on campus, ations are not such a big issue. There should be 6) What is your position on OUSA? tough with the unions. Lorna Marsden has done ssuch as Campus Clubs. more open-ended questions on courses, run by 7) What are your plans for maintaining account- a good job at getting competition, such as Mr. This may Lau- students. Most teachers would probably wel- ability to the students? Submarine and Pizza Pizza. Health Services challenge rier's small at- come the input, because they should be as com- 8) What is your position on the CCBC? should be rationalised with the community, per- university mosphere, which some mitted to education as we are. Theexpansion plansof the Students' Union haps by taking extra servicesoff campus, Tricker peo- On 3) Pikar said that he was the last person in Building include moving Wilfs to the bottom said. This lower ple like, but it's good for everyone. the other will ancillary fees. residence to be hooked into the new phone floorand adding retail space on the second floor. hand, firm goals need to be set for the contrac- 4) Communiversity isTricker'smain policy system. This system should be fixed by next The University's Campus Plan, named Vision tors to guarantee that the process is completed on WLU's relations with the community. "We year. Piikar would have kept people more in- sets down broad plans for WLU's growth, by September of 95. 2020, can no longer afford to be everything to every- formed about what was going on. He said a including the new science building, renovation body," he said. We should advance programs The University's Campus Plan provides a written apology to students for the problems of the practice field, adding more buildings, and like Telecollege and Laurier Students for Lit- - to more into the community. would have been nicer than the $25 which was moving the Bookstore to 202 Regina eracy, but we should also ask what the commu- good goal expand Spoltore admitted to being less familiar with this refunded to the students affected. The current format of course and teacher nity can do for us. plan. His main concern is whether or not the The salaries ofFood Service employees are evaluations are determined by the collective 5) Our relationship with the administration students want this, instead of just the adminis- ridiculous, Pikar said, and prices are way too agreement between the University and the WLU is growing, Tricker said.He thinks we have to tration, and the students should be asked this high. He said you should pay for what you need Faculty Association (WLUFA). Various candi- take half of our efforts put towards OUSA and question. "You won't find another candidate and want, and that people should be given a dates in past elections have considered an anti- apply them to lobbying our own administration. that respects the common Laurier student more choice, such as in regards to the health plan, calender similar to the U of Ts, but little has OUSA can write position papers, but Lorna than myself," Spoltore said. which duplicates coverage many students al- been done. Marsden probably has easier access to Dave 2) We need monthly evaluations, according ready have. Health Services should also be Student services is a term that has been Cooke [the Ministerof Education and Training], to Spoltore, to give professors time to improve changed by hiring a full-time doctor to replace applied to the University's Ancillary Services, Students are only at the University for three to their performance. These should be used in a the current system of revolving doctors. Pikar such as Health Services, Food Services, resi- four years, so we should use the permanent positive way, rather than simply as an opportu- said this will add to the sense of community at dences, the Bookstore, and the athletic facilities, people at Laurier to fight for us. nity to "trash" the professors. Laurier and allow people to build a better rela- as well as services offered by the Union, such as 6) The CFS-0 [Canadian Federation of 3) In regards to the phone system, Spoltore tionship with their doctor. the health plan, Foot Patrol, Resumes Plus, and Students - Ontario] and the CFS have lost their said we have to take care of these kids coming to 4) We don't do enough in the community Tim Hranka. This year, a new phone system was focus, Tricker said. He likes compromise solu- University; this year's situation was a crime. and we don't get enough recognition for what put into residence with a limited number of tions, the ICLRP, and the banning of ancillary Concerning Ancillary Services, we own we do, Pikar said. WLU seems to have an infe- lines. Students then raised an uproar to the fees. We are different from other universities, Seagram's so we should be able to use it. Food riority complex. In the future, we should try to administration and the Board of Governors. but there are lots of similarities between us. As Services should be altered to allow students to appear more throughout the community. We Student representatives sit on the Universi- Bush said, "stay the course," and as Winston use their meal plan off campus more. Spoltore should try to do more charity work. "We are a ty's Board of Governors and the Senate, which Churchill said,"We have to hang together, or said he has talked to East Side Mario's about this community within a community," Pikar said, so respectively dictate financial policy and aca- together we'll be hung." and they are in favour of such a program. The we should concentrate internally, but we should demic policy. The executive primarily consists 7)Tricker wants to maintain accountability administration should be shown that this is what use our weight to get things accomplished in the of Lorna Marsden (President), Ron Craig (act- by "keeping the information flow up." He will students want and need. community. ing VP: Finance while Andrew Berczi is on talk with students in halls and around campus A lot of things are "driven by money," 5) Our relationship with the administration sabbatical), Don Baker (VP: Academic, as well rather than staying in his office with the door Spoltore said. We look for the best price, but that depends on the issues, Pikar said. A lot of as all of their support staff. closed. Although some strangers aren't inter- is not necessarily the best for the students. "wheeling and dealing" occurs in the back- The Ontario Undergraduate Student Alli- ested in the Union, some are. He also noted that 4) WLU's role in the community needs to ground, and students should be more informed ance is a relatively new lobby group represent- the Presidentcan be recalled or impeached if the be enlarged, Spoltore said. Citing hisyears grow- about these activities. ingseveral universities including WLU. Its poli- job is not adequately performed. We need an ing up in this area, he said that Shinerama and 6) Pikar said that he does not have enough cies call for increased funding from the govern- out-going President, Board of Directors, and Homecoming were "huge." We have to find information on OUSA to take a firm position. ment and the private sector to match increases in Vice President of University Affairs in order to more fun things to do to voluntarily get involved 7) Accountability can be maintained through tuition, the introduction of an income contin- maintain accountability in a university this size. in the community. After all, university is more residence talks, referendums, and the Cord. The gent loan repayment plan (ICLRP), and the 8) The CCBC is a "win-win situation," be than just going to classes. The Lettermen, which salary of the President and VP:UA could elimination of ancillary fees. Tricker said. The day planner will do well, with Spoltore is involved with, try to do something based on evaluations. He said that the President Did you know that the Union has a feedback profit-sharing arranged with Student Publica- every month, such as getting giftsfor kids in the should be responsible for going to the students program to answer your questions? Everyone tions. Tricker the opt-out health supports plan. Christmas. so they know what is going on. has thrown around the term "accountability," hospital at 5) Sean Taylor has done well at maintain- 8) Pikar does not have a position on the but most people still seem oblivious to the with the administration this year, CCBC. activities of the Union after election time. ing peace GeoffThureson Spoltore said. However, we have to get through The Canadian Campus Business Consor- Aileen McPherson tium(CCBC) will probably establish itself firmly 1) Thureson supports SUB to the administration, in a positive way, that it's students that can be done by within the next year. It is currently in the plan- expansion, although doesn't the matter. This 1) McPherson is familiar more often the in which ning stages. It will be a nation-wide organiza- know all the plans. He is getting together and putting with the referendum No ex- tion of student unions representing over 200 000 concerned with the tempo- administration in the students' shoes. We're students approved the building students that avoids political and social affairs picture rary closure of Wilf's dur- both working for the students, so we should be penditure for the administration has of and concentrates solely on group discounts. One ing construction and the working together. The got and the current version available but we can She to proposal is a common day planner that would revenue that will be lost. the power in thisrelationship, maybe the floor plans. plans advertisers. The is also look- get them to give a little. use student polling to decide attract larger group • I thinks the At the time of the he was not with the second ing at an opt-out health plan. Thureson new 6) interview, what to do science as Laurier sure where the school should with wants to find out The interviews ranged in length from 20 to building will be good, longas go OUSA, floor retail space. As well, she 90 minutes. The following comments and opin- can attract the science students to fill it. and feared it might threaten the small university why Wilf's is so successful, so that those factors ions are those of the individual candidate. They 2)The evaluations shouldbe more in touch, atmosphere of Laurier. He said he would know can be guaranteed in the new set-up. made us laugh, they made us cry. more exact, and more in depth, Thureson said. more after the OUSA conference on Saturday. Their legitimacy would also be increased if 7)To maintain accountability, Spoltore said The new science building seems impracti- results were released, tellingstudents whatother he wants to be out there with students, to find out cal when there is an adequate science program students say about the courses and professors. what they want. He believes the Union needs a down the street at the U of Wand the existing 3) The phone system was "buggered up nice," person who can lead, and that would involve a Arts and Science Buiidingcould use some reno- THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 NEWS 9 ...and Know your vices valions, she said. The plans to move the Book- will affect the second floor retail space of the positions. The candidates were allowed to an- OUSA's new lobbyist, and thought they would store arc also had, removing its convenience. building. The students will then be consulted on swer the questions as extensively or as simple as do a good job. "It's logical to stay with OUSA." 2) McPherson called the current evalua- what services they want. Most of this will occur they wanted to. McCormick said he would not have a refer- tions "horrifying." She supports an anti-calen- this year. 1) What is your position on OUSA (the Ontario endum on OUSA for the 1994-1995 school year. dar similar to that produced by the U ofT. Right Moving student services to 202 Regina is Undergraduate Student Alliance)? He said that the student fees arc not going up, now, advertising is down and money has been bad, Bigioni said. Students and staff are all 2) What is your position on the Health Plan? since the cost of the OUSA membership can be pledged to SUB expansion, so the administra- against this. From the staff's 3) How would you characterise our relationship covered through the Union's withdrawl from tion should be pressured to revise their evalua- perspective, the move will with the Waterloo municipal government? CFS, and by streamlining costs, such as cutting tion and make it more specific. lead to reduced use of the 4) What role do you think students should play honouraria. He also said the annual trip to West 3) In the phone situation, too many excuses services, which will in turn in the hiring and firing of professors and grant- Virginia was "a useless trip" and suggested were made for the problems, rather than just lead to a loss of jobs. Stu- ing of tenure? cutting it. He said he would support holding a fixing things, McPherson said, and the Union dents, on the other hand, 5) How would you improve WLUSU's account- referendum when the Union considers making a should have been stronger about things. have not been so vocal ability to students? student levy to cover OUSA membership fees. There should be a complete overhaul of about this issue. Student Note: OUSA is ex plained in the questions for the 2) McCormick supports an opt-out health Health Services, McPherson said, employing Services and the Bookstore presidential candidates. The Health Plan is run plan. He said there is a significant number of the near-by walk-in clinic if necessary during will not be moved for three to five years, Bigioni by the Students' Union, using part of the SAC students who have alternate health plans al- the transition period. Food Services should also said. Eventually this may be appropriate, but it fees paid by each student. ready. The cost would go up, he said, but only be changed to allow students to use some of their has to be integrated properly. until the CCBC gets its health plan group organ- meal plan in Wilf's. Perhaps the purchase of the 2) "The current course and teacher evalua- Stefan Gleis ised. McCormick suggested negotiating a one meal plan could be divided into monthly instal- tion is a farce," Bigioni said. An anti-calendar is 1) Gleis in general agrees with OUSA's year contract, where students could opt out and ments. Food prices are obviously too high, ac- the solution, although this will take a great deal proposals.He said OUSA is the only political get their fees back. Under this plan, students cording to McPherson. of effort and co-operation from professors and lobby group that students have to express their have the chance to find better priced coverage, 4) McPherson worked on the Town and the administration. He brought anti-calenders views to the government. He has a negative view while still offering coverage for other students. Gown committee and on Shinerama. Beyond from the U of T and Western to demonstrate his of the Canadian Federation of Students [CFS], McCormick said the issue of health plan these programs, she wants to turn the first home points. Both Jim Wilgar [Associate Vice Presi- referring to it as the "Canadian Freak Show". coverage would be brought to referendum. He football game ofLaurier against Waterloo into a dent: Student Services] and Don Baker have would supply information on the benefits and more prominent event. The Charity Ball should shown support for this, Bigioni said. The faculty Gleis said students do not have direct input costs of both types of coverage. involve the community more, such as by invit- union is not that strong. In the first few years of on OUSA's involvement in the university. He 3) McCormick said the External Affairs ing city officials to speak and participate. The such a project, a 20 to 30 percent response is plans on holding a referendum on OUSA. The Board was a positive step to improving relations municipal government should be pressured to expected. The questionnaire will have to be referendum would be held at the same time as with the Waterloo Municipal government. He improve safety in the area, such as by making it progressive,open, and non-discriminatory. This other referendums to minimize the costs. noted Scholars Green as one of the projects safer to cross King Street at Bricker. will respond to students' desire for more access 2) Gleis does not personally support an opt- coordinated with local government. He also 5) According to McPherson, these relations and accountability to match increases in tuition. out health program. "I don't want to cater to noted members of the External Affairs Board arc poor. For example, four students sit on the 3) Students pay $125 000 per year for certain individual students within the Univer- attending City Council meetings and reporting Bookstore Committee, but students are not in- Health Services, Bigioni said, but walk-in clin- sity opting out when other students really need to the EAB on them. McCormick would like to volved in relations with the faculty. The admin- ics are quicker, of better quality, and not closed it." Health plan fees are usually higher if stu- get the local Council members to work with the istration will rcspect the students more if stu- for lunch..ln the short term, accountability and dents are allowed to opt out. He said only a few students on such things as dealing with ques- dents act mature. Improved relations can be student input into Ancillary Services should be students were already covered by their parentss. tionable landlords. passed down through generations of students. increased. Beyond that, Bigioni wants to adopt Gleis would only join the CCBC's health 4) "I realize that profs are not hired solely 6)OUSA is a good organization, McPherson OUSA's approach of eliminating ancillary fees. plan if it was lower than any non-opt out plan the for their ability to teach; they're hired to do said. Until they demand a per studentcharge, we Bigioni participated insendinglettersabout Union could get on its own. research and hired to write papers," McCormick should go along with it. Then, a referendum will the phonesto some members of the Board of 3) Gleis said the past relations with the said. Students should still have input to the be necessary. The proposal concerning the Governors and Lorna Marsden. After this ac- Waterloo government have been good,referring hiring and firing process. ICLRP should be more specific about how much tion, Ron Craig began writing letters to the to resolutions of past problems. He said the He said he wanted to get students on com- students will have to pay after they graduate. Editor of the Cord about the issue. The phones Waterloo government currently sees University mittees, even if it is not a voting position. 7) McPherson wants constant communica- still have to be improved for the future. students as "a fly", pestering the government. In the case of sensitive issues, McCormick tion between her office and the students. The Wages ofFood Service employees could be For the upcomming year, Gleis plans to said "my relationship with my professor is aca- First YearCouncil's newsletter provides a good reduced by a continental work week, in which watch the Scholar's Green project and to ensure demic. If he beats his dog or sexually harrasses precedent for that mode of communication with some employees take Monday and Tuesday off, the lighting in the park is safe. "That [Scholar's his secretary that is the Faculty Association's students. Currently, each student representative to level off wages. Green] could be a very deadly area not just for problem." McCormick said if the administra- submits a report each year, but most of them are 4) Students play an "integral" role in the females but for anybody getting mugged.". tion wanted to fire a professor for reasons not not read. This process could be improved. An- Waterloo area, Bigioni said. Students provide 4) For the hiring and firing of professors, related to teaching, the students should know other possibility is the introduction of a regular services and import funds into this community. Gleis said "I believe students should be directly why the professor is being fired, but it should not report from the President in the Cord. As well, students sit on the Waterloo Council involved." Gleis said the administration refers affect the student. 8) The CCBC is "definitely worth explor- and the Housing Committee. In the future, we to Laurierasa"teachinguniversity", ratherthan McCormick said a student run course evalu- ing," McPherson said. Their health plan has got should bring the community on campus, such as one that focusses on research or publishing. ation should be established. He said the current to be better than the one we have. She wants to in the upcoming municipal elections. Gleis does not agree with the current stu- evaluations were a "farce" and that they only find out what the catch is, however. Students s)Thisyear, the Union hasagood relation- dent evaluations of professors. He said students counted for one pcrcent of a professor's earn- will also have to be informed about the issue. ship with the administration, Bigioni said. On should be able to evaluate their professors giv- ings. The results from the student run evalua- the other hand, most students know little about ing specific feedback. He said we should boy- tions would be printed in a student course calen- PhillKLnzinger the administration's activities, so the llow of cott the current surveys to send a clear message dar, after being reviewed before. This would 1) Kinzinger has no posi- information needs improvements. to the administration that the students want to be allow professors to make a rebuttal. He said the tion on SUBexpansion. He 6) Laurier can do a lot within OUSA, Bigioni more involved. A board including students evaluations would not be an attack, but "maybe seeks "deconstruction of said. The group shows a commitment to educa- should deal with sensitive issues. a wake up call,". The calendar would also take the institution" and selling tion, and Laurier has been able to influence it in 5) Gleis said if students feel a member of the note of improvements. off the building. This will the last two years. The term "quality education" BOD, the President, or theVP:UA is not doing 5) The current Feedback program and the be implemented with the needs to be defined and specified, however, as their job effectivley, the students can start a upcoming Speakers Corner are two methods approval of all sharehold- do other parts of the group's platform. petition leading to the person's dismissal. Gleis McCormick noted as making the Union ac- ers. 7) At the end of last November and the alsosuggested havingstudent run surveyson the countable to the students. beginning of January, a survey of over 120 Students' Union, similar to those held for pro- McCormick said the Union could be made He has a similar stance towards the Campus students revealed that most knew little of WLU- fessors. more accountable through holding Board meet- Plan. SU's activities, Bigioni said. One solution to He said he planned to keepi his door open, ings in more public and accessible places, such 2) Evaluations are a good step towards the this would be a letter to the Editor of the Cord make phone numbers available, and keep in as the Concourse. He also said he wanted to eventual disestablishment of the University, from the President, perhaps bi-weekly. Commu- direct contact with students. "I'd also be very publish a mission statement for the Union, and Kinzinger said. In the future, there will be no nication could also be increased through Cam- available through the fact that Wilf's is my home give students updates on how the Union is get- Universities; just travelling lecturers. pus Clubs, faculty lounges, and residence talks. " Glcisaddcd. "If I don't feel I'm doinga proper ting along at meeting its goals. 3) Phill said these services will not exist in This year, Bigioni organized the Student Repre- job and properly representing the students then McCormick also said the Board itself had the future. "It's every person for themself," he sentative Roundtable meetings and the forth- I'd step down" the responsibility to remain accountable to the said, and each person will have money gener- coming Speaker's Corner. He wants to maintain students. "If you're screwing the dog on the ated through the sale of the institution's assets. constant contact rather than just approaching Scott McCormick Board then it's up to the Prcz, it's up to the chair Future generations don't matter. Phill wants to students when specific issues arise. 1) McCormick said he would continue the Un- to set a fire under your ass." return to civilization as it was before the indus- 8) Bigioni said the CCBC is a great idea, ion's involvement in OUSA. He said he has met Compiled by Kathleen Honey and Steve Doak trial revolution. and that we will definitely profit from it. An opt- 4) Kinzinger said WLU should look to- out health plan is not feasible just with the ■■■■■■ wards the deconstruction of things and to travel. students of WLU, but nationally we can afford d [•] J 5) There are no relationships right now, to run an insurance company. This should be I d H □f®-* Kinzinger said, and thus he looks to the future. organized for the 95-96 school year. 6) We should get completely out of any such organizations as OUSA, Kinzinger said. VicePresident of On Tuesday February Bth, cast your 7) Kinzinger said that he is not going to try ballot in the Students' Union election to be accountable to the students, and that they University Affairs can say what they want. He wants open forums & rather than red tape. Each of the candidates for the position of Vice Arts Science students vote in the Concourse 8) Kinzinger has no position on the CCBC. President of University Affairs were asked the following questions in private, intimate, and Business Students vote in the Peter's Building Dave Bigioni intense interviews on the week-end. The ques- tions were based upon what seem to be the issues Music Students vote in the Aird Building 1)The SUB Expansion Plans have to be pushed important to both the election campaign and the through the administration this year, Bigioni current VP. Many of the questions are the same said. He has been involved with the plans fortwo as those asked of the Presidential campaign, Vote with a bullet Cord News '94 years. He said the University's policy on food because many of the issues involve both of those SPORTS Win streak at seven PETE ROBINSON Cord Sports The Hawkey Hawks took to the road last Thursday hoping to go into U of T's Varsity Arena and beat the struggling Blues and leave with their winning streak extended to seven. The Hawks did what they set out to do. They beat the rebuilding Blues 4- 1 despite the fact that three defensemen were out with injuries, including Bob Shclp. This, however, didn't exactly sit well with head coach Wayne Gowing. "I wasn't very happy, we didn't play bad, but it wasn't a Taylor. If it was a move that was designed good effort either," is how the head coach to give his team a spark, it seemed to have summed up his club's performances. worked, for a while anyway. Chris Not surprisingly Laurier was led by the Kostopoulos put his team within two when offence of John Spoltore, who notched a he deflected a Ken Stark point shot, while goal and an assist. Joel Bishop, Craig Boyce Laurier's Kevin Greco was serving a high and Todd White were the other Laurier goal sticking penalty. getters. Pracey then came up with some timely The game started a slowly as the Hawks stops to keep the advantage at two. Equally mounted little offence in the first part of the impressive was Taylor who turned away all period. Toronto nctmindcr Jim Boulieris Lauriershots in hisdircction, until Spoltore stopped Hawk captain Chris George on a showed what makes him the most potent partial breakaway halfway through the first offensive weapon in the league. Coming frame. Laurier goalie Rick Pracey made down on a two-on-one with Scott Cullen he some nice stops to keep the game even. That used Cullen perfectly as a decoy getting is until Spoltore started a picture perfect first the defcnccman to commit, then the pass play when he fed lincmatc George who goalie before he slid the puck into an open in turn set up Bishop who redirected the net. puck past Boulieris making the score 1-0. The third period was scoreless despite The Hawks then picked their play up a the fact that it had the best end to end action little at the start of the second when Craig ofthegame. AgainTaylorand Pracey made File Pic Boyce grabbed a loose puck just inside the U nice stops to keep the 4-1 score the same. thinking about the one-game playoff that of T bluelinc and blasted a perfect slapshot Gowing's dissatisfaction comes from decides who advances to play the division late. They hammered Guelph, 9-2 on Thurs- past Boulieris. It was Boyce's sixth goal in the fact that the Hawks have a nasty habit of winner in the playoffs. One bad game on the day, then beat U of T, 4-2 over the weekend. the last five contests. Todd White then playing down to the level of theiropponent. wrong night and that could be the end of a Suddenly what all along looked like a two banged in his own rebound at the 2:57 mark At times the Hawks appear to be brilliant very promising season. horse race in the Far West division, may in to make the score 3-0, and it appeared as against teams that force them to raise their That thought is not lost on Gowing, "We fact be a three horse race...Kevin Greco was though the rout was on. level of play. Other times against the have to improve in every area of our game. chosen player of the game for the However, after that U of T coach Paul league's weaker teams, like U of T, Laurier At this point we can't take anything for Hawks...The Hawks were outshot 32- Titanic pulled Boulieris, who really hadn't seems to play just well enough to get by. granted." 27...The Hawks are in action tonight at the played that badly, and inserted backup Jamie This raises a somewhat scary situation when Notes: The Waterloo Warriors arc hot of Rec complex vs. York. Maybe next year, Bills

PAUL GRAY a game as the opening half was Cord Sports fairly close. The Bills held the Well you read it here in the first mighty Cowboy offence to two field issueoftheterm that Buffalo would goals to take a first half lead of 13- make it to the Supcrßowl for the 6. This is where the two teams unprecedented fourth time in a row stood at the end of the first half. and lose. At least Buffalo fans can The Cowboys took over in the take heart in that the Bills set two second half. Heck, for that matter records. First, Oakvillc's Steve they didn't even allow Buffalo to Christie set a Superßowl record score in the second half. Washing- with a 54 yard field goal in the first ton changed the momentum in quarter. Secondly, the Bills are the Dallas' favourby pickingupa loose first franchise in professional sport ball and barrelling in for a touch- to make it to the final four times in down to tie the score. From this a row and fail to capturc the title. pointon the Dallas Juggernaut gath- Emmitt Smith lead the Cow- ered speed. Dallas' superior size, boys to their second consecutive speed and strength prevailed in Supcrßowl title by capturing MVP what started out to be a great game honours as they took control of the turned blowout for this season's second half and beat the Bills 30- Superßowl. 13. Smith ran the ball for 132yards The crazy thing here is that and scored two TD's. Bills fans arc already talkingabout don't they ever . - Everyone in North America next season. Gcesh, Aikman gets trampled but the Cowboys survive and win Superßowl XXVIII. thought they were in for one hell of give up?!? THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 SPORTS 11 Black Plague hits All-Star Q&A volley Hawks SCOTT STINSON Yes and no. After winning their first ten games, Cord Sports the Leafs have managed to stay at or around the top of All right, the fun's over. The All-Star shoot-out has the league standings all year. They are a very solid come and gone so now it's time to get down to some team. However, injuries have taken their toll, leaving serious hockey business. Like most seasons, this one the Buds with one excellent scoring line, a great goalie has brought many surprises and disappointments. It and solid defensive play. Although they went a long also raises many questions. Here now, for your way without it last year, they still lack the depth to be reading pleasure, are the answers to everything about considered a powerhouse. the NHL you wanted to know but were afraid to ask. 5. How the hell does Hartford have the league's 6th 1. Will the Red Wings get the goalie they need? highest payroll? Eventually. Detroit GM Bryan Murray has ad- 1 haven't the foggiest. Not a clue. mitted that he is actively looking for someone to 6. Why were the Rangers so bad last year? replace the porous Tim Cheveldae. Possibilities Good question. Two years ago they finished first include Edmonton's Bill Ranford, Buffalo's Grant overall. Last year they missed the playoffs. This year Fuhrand the Islanders' Ron Hextall. Sorry Leaf fans, they are back in first overall. No major personnel but if the Wings get a star changes. What gives? goalie to back up their If the Senators were a horse, Mike Keenan, the new deadly offense, they will coach. Specifically, have to be considered the they would have Keenan gives every player team to beat in the West. been taken out back a reason to play hard each 2. Since when do expan- and shot to put them out night. Ifyou don't, you sit. sion teams make the Now the Rangers are play- playoffs? of their misery. ing hard, and the talent Since the expansion they've always had is per- draft was changed last year. Florida and Anaheim forming well again. have benefited immensely from some favourable 7. Should Montreal fans be worried? changes to the draft format. Each team landed very Let's see, last year Les Canadiens finished third in solid goaltending as well as an assortment of quality their division and lost their first two playoff games. players. Suddenly, the Panthers and the Ducks have Then they won the Stanley Cup. This year they are been able to do what the other new teams have not. Be second in their division, headed back to the playoffs. competitive. Somehow, I doubt they're panicking. 3. Will the Ottawa Senators be hiring Dr. 8. Why so much defensive hockey this year? Kervorkian as team physician? Simple. Teams without an abundance of offen- The women's volleyball team played a tough match against the Hey, you never know. If the Sens were a horse, sive talent, like the Panthers, Ducks, and Sharks, to very skilled University of Waterloo Athenas and hung tough right they would have been taken out back and shot to put name a few, have implemented a defensive style that to tne end but came away empty. The final score was 3-2 but the them out of their misery. Not only have they seen involves little forechecking and clogging the neutrah match was tight the whole way as the game scores indicate, 16- Florida and Anaheim sail past them in the standings, zone. It makes goals hard to come by for both teams 14, 9-1 15-12, 8-15, 9-15. This was a great match from the they will have to watch those teams pick ahead of them and has seen the Sharks improve along with the first first. The Hawks played one of their best games of the season. in next year's entry draft, thanks to a stupid agreement year teams' successes. It may be boring, but it works. This young team showed their inexperience in the fifth game while made last year. Dr. Kevorkian could not be reached 9. What if the rumours of a work stoppage are Waterloo played calm and came away with the victory. Carrie for comment. true, and there is a strike before the playoffs? Ostrom lead the way for the Hawks with 3 blocks and 10 digs. 4. Are the Leafs for real? Then you just wasted your time reading this. ———————— iIhMS 'JAiJ

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RIN6S BY: & $JOSTENS 12 SPORTS THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 Racking up the losses RALPH SPOLTORE Nowthegood. Inthewomen's Cord Sports game on Wednesday night the Lady My mother once told me that if Hawks received a great effortfrom didn't have anything nice to say first year player Marjorie Visscher. about a certain topic or person, that Visscher played extremely tough I shouldn't say anything at all. As shooting 5 for 5 from the field to the sportswriter for both the men's lead the Hawk attack. This kind of and women's basketball teams 1 effort will hopefully continue as find myself in a bind. Do I totally the team is looking for another disregard my mother's words of offensive threat from the field. wisdom or do I tell the truth about The most exciting news came what happened on the courts this from the men's game and in par- pastweck? Let'sdoa littleofboth. ticularrookie shootingguard Peter First the bad. Our lady cagers Kratz. Kratz was absolutely on fire were in Waterloo on Wednesday in both games scoring 31 and 23 night to battle a tough team wear- points respectively. This baby ing black and gold. Led by third Hawk comes to us from Sarnia year guard Janice Awad, the Northern and he should be a major Athenas built up a quick 22-2 lead factor when rookie of the year vot- halfway through the first half. This ing takes place. However, it was lead proved to be too tough for our not Peter's points that impressed ladies to rebound from and they me the most. His hard work and eventually succumbed 64-36. determined efforts were absolutely The men didn't fare much bet- awesome. He literally played to teragainst the Warriorson Wednes- the last second of the game when day night as they were also beaten he gave a referee the bird after he by the "Black Plague" in a very felt a foul should have been called poor overall effort. The Hawks on him. He was the silver lining. were then forced to try to rebound Another effort that should not from their 20 point loss to their go unnoticed was the effort put cross-town rivals in a Saturday af- forth by our cheerleading squad. ternoon tilt against a strong squad The team did as well as I person- from Guelph. The Hawks once ally have ever seen them perform. again played fairly poorly through- Hopefully both basketball teams out this match and were beaten 93- can pick it up a notch in upcoming 69. Those arc pretty much the facts games. Both teams battlcthisweek about our basketball games this against tougher teams but hope- past week and I am very happy that fully we will do just fine. I got them out of the way.

The Hawks lose a tough battle agains the Gryphs on Saturday afternoon. Pic: Keli Watson Injury riddled Hawks pall out victoryagainst Hawks of Falcons THEWEEK JIM ELKINS mesh. Cord Sports The Hawks had trouble containing the Falcons in JOHN SPOLTORE The women's hockey team faced off against the the Laurier zone early in the second period. The Hockey Kitchener Falcons Friday night taking a victory and a breakout was halted by a collision between a Falcon John has had a remarkable three games as he has recorded 11 step closer to the playoffs. defender and a Hawk centre which sent the Hawk points in that span, In two games last week, John counted nine The first period remained scoreless until late in the forward to the hospital with a strained back and neck. points and he followed that up this week with a goal and an period when the Hawks broke the game open with a The Hawks struck immediately after the im- assist in the Toronto game. pair of goals. The first goal came when Amy Massi won promptu break. Rebecca Burrows fed a pass to Amy the draw and dropped the puck to Nicole Dekort. Nic's who flipped a wrist shot over the glove of the Falcon KRISTA MADLENSKY shot was tapped home by Wendy Wallace, the Hawk's goalie. The Hawks lost another player when she was Volleyball leading goal scorer. tripped into the boards. Krista is a first year player from Kitchener who had an The second goal was the result of a Golden Hawk The injury riddled Hawks sat back with a three outstanding match versus Waterloo. She started for the first offensive rush. Nicole dumped the puck in along the goal lead. The Falcons capitalized on this resulting in time all year and had 12 kills and 10 digs. This is a fantastic boards where Amy Massi picked it up and darted for two goals early in the third period. The Hawks picked performance for a player of only 5'4" the net. She left a drop pass and set up to screen the up the pace and managed to hold onto the one goal goalie. Wendy slipped in from the point and filled the lead to win the game. Your Used CD Headquarters! HOW ON EARTH COULD ANY

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Storms

Nature's passion, / Mother Tarth's wrath, / furiousCy destroying / 3-fer creations of the past- ! To Bring new ufe; j CycCe after cycCe, j year after year, Changing herface: The eternaCgoddess § \ Of Cight ana dark, Tast andpresent, \ Love ana hate, \ J-fas no mercy \ Norpeace; \ Oh, Bring on the thunder! \ JAnd the rain too- \ It washes me ofpain, \ y/hiCe curing me ofpCeasure: lYith a freshface I took to the sky, J\.s the scars of time sCowCy heaC. TzdSmith

FISHER SHEFFIELD'S EPILOGUE by Terry Grogan

PART SIXTEEN: we actually made some sort of Hillary Rodham Clinton would sentially what you're saying is, grand piano, my left hand slowly connection, — even "MYRA LAYS A however drop her middle name it's just nine months later, after Chi- running up and down Myra's brief...Through Sarah, I need to a little thing, burt Ptome reason cago, I'm basically the same — curvcs, we danced barefoot above "

— — BEATING ON FISHER demonstrate to myself that it irks you because you see it as burp! — as before I ever heard of the stars Sharon Stone, Jack Paulina wasn't just some sort of symptomatic of the Decline of the place?" Nicholson, Barbra Streisand and

I paused, feeling awkward. As fluke...that I am capable to devel- Western Civilization, namely, Just then, I noticed Paulina Danny DeVito — as I looked Myra Radakovich brushed her oping a relationship with a girl Reagan's America..'.Grcnving up, Perestroika standing behind Myra around the room casually, try- hair out of her eyes again, I put I'm attracted to." you always figured that all Paulina Radakovich, carrying a small ing to pick out other celebrities my hands up on the piano, A pause: "OK, OK, OK, Perestroika would ever Want was child wrapped in a baby blue blan- on the dance floor at the mo- slowly and sadly, as if in resig- OK?...That...makes sense...l to putter around the house, bare- ket. ment as well. nation. And then I turned and guess..." foot and pregnant, while you went Paulina: "Goddamn Then, from out of nowhere, took Myra's perfectly mani- Then: "OK, OK, OK, outpnd made the cash for her...But bastard...Fisher, this is yourso/z." I spotted Sarah Rostenkowski! cured right hand in both ofmine, 0K?...N0...that doesn't make now: she's enrolled in chemical I blinked, and the brief hallu- And she was slow-dancing as if to hand her some of my sense... Fisher, you're all messed engineering at Tuktoyaktuk Uni- cination passed. with John F. Kennedy Jr.! pain, as I told her: "Medium- up versity, and not only is the shoe on Myra just sighed, pushing her If 1 could just get Sarah to height, built like a beach vol- Swivelling on our seat, I the other foot, you're the one hair away from her face. look at me... leyball player, grey eyes that turned to Myra, and commanded } who's got naked feet." "OK, OK, OK, OK?...Fisher, Leaning back from Myra, glinted, deeply-suntanned — her: "Tell the truth, Myra: what's | | "I've already lost what I never you're haunted by some just un- and twisting around, I stuck two even living in Tuktoyaktuk, up wrong with me? And don't pull ] found," I agreed sadly with Myra, believable ghosts..." of the fingers from my left hand in the Arctic Circle, the ridges any of your punches." "All I seem to do these days is play At that exact moment, dcus into my mouth, and wolf-whis- between her knuckles wentfrom Myra unhooked her legs, and Mau, shoot dope, and suck ex machina, the band on the other tled. dirt-colour to white when she then swung her right foot past my toes...But notice how it always side of the stage kicked into Sarah was getting pretty clenched her fists —with straw- face, to straddle the bench we comes back to shoes." "Swing On A Star" — and it friendly with JFK Jr., laughing berry blonde hair combed out were on, coincidentally bunch- She just squeezed me tightly could have been worse I supposed, and smiling at him, telling jokes, straight to give her head the ing up her skirt to her panty line. against her breasts...and then let it could easily have been "Good but as suspected, she was ' I really stylistic a / shape of triangle, and I shifted my position as well, rac go. Stuff' again instead — so I hopped watching me, her eyes locked on a deep, gravelly voice like turning to face Myra chest to I looked at her beautiful face, up on top of the piano, dragged my every move. Kathleen Turner: man, that girl chest, and we embraced one an- and thought of Joyce's body, but Myra along, and slowly began to So Myra and I continued to had it all!...she had a small other. before I could say anything, my waltz with her. glide around the top of our pi- mole just underneath her lower "OK, OK, OK, OK?...You're Myrk my sweetheart, put her fin- Myra kicked off her high heels ano. lip, right on her heart-shaped a 21-year old, suicidal, sexually ger on my mouth...silencing me. so we'd be the same height, eye- And as I turned to meet chin: it was — her only flaw it dysfunctional heroin addict "Thank you for not pulling to-cyc, pressed tight against one Sarah Rostenkowski's jealous offset her otherwise total per- novelist...Everythingyou've writ- any of your punches with that another. felt fection..." As I myself being gaze head-on, I saw that the ten during the last nine months analysis." enveloped in her warmth, I asked little freak wasn't even looking My girlfriend leaned over has had the word "Death" in the "OK, OK, QK, 0K?...We11, I my girlfriend: "Mommy, if I'm so my direction. and put her arm in around me, title ...The only things you feel did pull one." messed up, why do you keep me "Martha, Martha, smiling innocently, supremely passionately about anymore are \ Then she smacked mc in the around?" Martha...Martha, Martha, self-confident with even / —" this shrimping, and shooting j face with her left fist. {], jj "Sir?...lt's because I love Martha a little girl's conversation: "Fisher...You voice dope...You've lost yourquiet faith After I picked myself up off y0u..." she began to cry, smiling began to sing. know, you're strange, but that's in love, capitalism, and democ- J the floor, and sat back down on happily. And at that moment I tore why I dig you...OK, OK, OK, so racy, you've started to flirt : the bench, I told Myra: "Gee, Barely moving, Radakovich myself free from Myra's arms, OK?" —" with fascism I thankd.,.l think you dtraightend and I swayed back and around, "I just...I just...need to talk slowly spun jumped doen off "We prefer to be called "re- ! out my node."' V forth to the waves of sound en- the piano top, and punched Fat to Sarah —" for five minutes...to actionaries" gulfing us, her left prove to myself that there hand grasped Moc in the throat. was "But you've always been dan- "But," I continued, "getting gently in my care- once between us, right. Stepping something that gerously right-wing...You wish back to what you just said... es- fully around the black top of the THE 14 FEATURE THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1993 Celebuating tbe r NOTISHA 1. historically correct More specifically, Canadian that saved thousands of lives dur­ MASSAAQUOI 2. historically false history takes this denial even fur­ ing WWI. For the most part the Cord Features 3. historically modified ther by conveniently omitting its role Black people play in the his­ With it's beginnings in 1915, In the early stages of our edu­ role in the slave trade other than tory of North America has been Black History Month has become cational process, we do not pos­ providing a safe haven for Ameri­ denied by omission and therefore a vital event in North American sess the expertise to validate his­ can fugitives. falls into the previously mentioned society today. tory independently. We as stu­ How many people know that category of modified or quasi his­ The· question that is often dents often fall prey to the as­ African- Canadian Elijah McCoy, tory. asked is why do we, the members sumption that this task has been an inventor, was the inspiration It would be complete naivety of the African community feel it accomplished by those who write behind the term " The Real to believe that most of these omis­ that misrepresent us. necessary to dedicate an entire and sanction our history. McCoy"? That African - Ameri­ sions arc accidental. What we Why m1!;5LWe -"· _,_ .... __ ._ month to the celebration of Black For Africans this is an as­ can Matthew Henson was the first must concern ourselvc&-with is the history? To answer this question sumption that cannot and must to reach the North Pole, that Dr. notion that when"'llfstoribl infor­ Hfstory Month? In a society where we are it must be first understood how not be made. Daniel Williams performed the mation bttAU K ) CI!Ail • oped from the rosy periwinkle of ..,. • ., 0 • -1!. world - ,... l ... ooro.St~:';.········ ~:-~,,-___ {" • Madagascar, but out of the esti­ tainablc and equitable tilization system diversity, and human cul­ With':;':::::~:~~·· f\tt"f.\'"}./'''•·•,,.-"~~JtN" /M1" :"&"''""' tural diversity. Africa is the world's mated annual revenue of $100 biological resources. The policy second largest continent, after h i g h ..•.• ::~·:.·:~.-~)~.):;2!f\;_ t=:~~._/:~ <:!:)(':>~''"~' million, coming to the multina­ framework will provide conditions levels of •-w •• •-' --- ·;_..., H

BEN BAIDOE-ANSAH nations between 1991 and 1992. Co,.!J Features One such arrangement foiled environmental issues continue by the European Environmental the agenda Of countries and Alliance would have seen Guinea­ ndivtuuals, Africans arc dealing Bissau as a dumping ground for addi'tional environmental 10% of Europe's industrial waste. r own. This is the The US Environmental Protec­ dumplpg in Afiica qf toxic waste tion Agency also uncovered 23 ~encrated in industriifrzed coun- companies that ii.Jegally exported toxic waste abroad. The waste disj)9sal busift£SS Shipment of toxic ~.aste'tfi~ been.estimated at $12 biJlion Africa takes several forms. Some year/It handles ab9ut 300 mil­ are official and involvi Ole gov­ t()ns qf toxic wa8te generated ernments of the tar#t countrie~? I~ 24 i ndustrializcd countries. The Others involvt"'fudividuals Rd !l.l,agnitude of the tonnag~ businesses in filese countries rho mvotved, the actionS. of envJ.t. mP.ntlll lobbies in the deveffiped their~Qvernmept 's knowledge and ... coupted wjtb ihe expense dump o~;/.wl".Y;t:tiem in the country­ proper waste;tnanagement, has side. J'll.~fe is also off•shore dump­ Africa an increasingly at­ ing, which could also be the most tractivtttoxic waste dump site. difficult to detect and control. . · Bernard Lorgan of the Uni­ Several reasons account for versity of Georgia reports that there the attractiveness of Africa as~ were at least 9 reported cases in toxic waste dump site. Stric~•. errvi­ 1987 involving over 19 million ronmental regulations in ~ost tons of industrial waste. The dcs­ developed countries bas made tinati!.)lfl;)f these shipments were toxic waste disposal in these coun­ hana, Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, tries both expensive and problem· go, Equatorial Guinea, Ni­ atic. Waste disposal companies geria. Si£Ua l:.eone, an.d Benin. At are therefore looking for cheaper least ;11 case$ were reported in locations .and ~rica app~ars tope J988 involving contracts totatting an easier and cncapcr way out. $83Q .. million. The shortage of landfills in These shipments were also the developed countries is another mainly to Af*an destinations. reason. It is reported that 80% of The c<)mpanj¢"s involv~a in tl)ese the 250 million tons of toxic, cor. shipments were American, Brit­ rosive, ignitable, or explosive ish, French, Italian, and Austral- waste in the US is sent to landfills. products. This makes them vul­ put a stop to waste dumping in ian . "!'if![\\" 0 More than half of tbc~2 laridfil!$ costs range bet~~ln $2000 and Grc~npcacc Intc.rnational rc­ have reached their full capacity. $3000 per tonne. Despite this, the nerable to any discquilibra in the Africa. that 115 s}lipm~nts. of,.haz- Therefore there is pressure to firtd reported average paid to African food-chain which will result from The European parliament has r araous waste [fffide their ~il.¥ ft>. new site~ for the waste~:;;: • --", govcrnmc~ts ,.waS:~.SO (two doi- waste induced toxicity. The cur­ also adopted a resolution calling Africa and Latin Ametfcan dcsti~ The '~i!ak and cash-strapped larsa~f•ftY cents) pct"'t.Q.nnc!! rent economic difficulties in Af­ for an end to the large scale ex­ ccong'ffiics of many African coun- T!lere. is terefore a . ve.Jff~ high rica means that any negative ef­ porting of toxic waste. In May tries make the cash generated by pr\fit•mmive for wa~tc..,..disposal fects resulting from toxic waste 1988, 116 countries ratified the toxic waste import very ternptiQ,g, co111paniesin the dcvclo~d world dumped on the continent will be Basel Treaty to control the move­ Finally, wherethedum~mglsaone ~ to- continue their operations in hard to detect, let alone treat. It is ment of toxic waste. At the 1992 without the govemmen't:}_s-cknow~ Africa. ') immoral for the developed world UN -sponsored environmental con­ edge, the government's limited ~W~stc dumprng...in' AfriCa is to reap all the benefits of industri­ ference in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, capabilities to detect such activi- 4 nmrc than an economic issue how­ alization and ship its toxic hi­ trans-border movement of toxic ~p~.£,9J)tinu.e.d.tp ~;:~m-et" ever. Due to its probable negative products to Africa. waste was made one of the major ltJ.1 attractive dumping site. This is environmental impact, it is also It is gratifying to note that topics for discussion. esP\cially true of off-shore dump- an ethical issue. Landfills were steps have been taken to stop the In spite of the efforts being in&e6ecause its detection requires predominantly used for legal dumping. In May 1988, Foreign made to halt the "unwholesome -expensive equipment like radar, dumping in Africa. Due to the Ministers of the Organization of international trade" in toxic waste, aircrafts, patrol boats, etc. heavy rainfall in most parts of African Unity (OAU) decided to observers believe that dumping in Companies in the industrial- tropical Africa, there is the potcn- terminate all agreements with Africa continues clandestinely. izcd world who dump waste in tial for contaminating ground and companies using Africa as their The pressure for this clandestine Africa do so from a profit stand- surface water systems. This is cs- waste dumping ground. The fol­ trade continues as the industrial­ point.lt is estimated that the treat- pccially serious because a large lowing month, Heads of State of ized world's output of toxic waste men! of less dangerous materials part of the rural population de- the Economic Community of West mounts. The higher disposal stand­ in the industrialized world cost rives its water from untreated natu- African States (ECOWAS) made ards being adopted in the industri­ bctwccn $160 and $1000 per tonne. raJ sources. African societies also waste dumping in West Africa a alized world will reduce profits of Forthcmostdangcroussubstanccs, rely to a large extent on natural criminal offence. At the country waste disposal companies and in­ table tilization level, Sierra leone, Gabon, Togo, crease the attractiveness of clan­ es. The policy Nigeria, Ghana, Guinea, Guinea­ destine overseas dumping. Off­ vide conditions Bissau, and Cote d' lvoirc have all shore dumping may be particu­ effective con- c ~ana~ian · Peuspective \ abolished in 1793 slaves were still They were also an important passed legislation making waste larly attractive because it will be ZHORA ADATIA bought and sold until 1797. It is part of the Canadian economy. dumping on their territories a the most difficult to monitor. .; criminal offence. Private con­ Africa is working to put an . Cor

— ——— _—————————— ——— —— n 1 I T'ME CORD'S 'POISONED 'VALENTINE I MORE) I I (JOR SOMEONE M'lHO MAX/HE USED TO BE SPECIAL -BUTSURE AINTNO , I I S~m WORDS OR LESS FOR $1.00: I

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I i NX NAME: RHONE: ]D : _ll l _ J _ 'I

; < ... * <" -its l 1: I•«f O »M- t t ENTERTAINMENT BEAT THESEODDS! SELENE MacLEOD Cord Entertainment Despite dreadful road conditions, Rymes With Orange made it to U. of Waterloo's Fed HaTTfoxjt fabulous' evening of music and mayhem, Friday. January 2BTT,ttNteje of you that didn't—well, you'll never know, will you? "Welcomc to the Orange ZonejgjWelcome to the Orange Zone...Welcome to the Orange Zoqjlfr' 1 still don't know why people insist (in inviting Rymes With Orange to he theiropening act. because the band invariably blows the headliners off the stage. The Vancouver-based funky/progressive outfit is poised as Canada's "next big thing"...and with good reason. This is the second time I've seen them live, and I'm more impressed each time. They hit the stage amid dry-ice foggy darkness, wearing miner's helmets, and played a too-short seWl* consisting of material from their independently-released rus Soul label) CD Peel. Outstanding moments included their covers of the Small Faccs' "Itchycoo Park", and the "Log" jingle of Ren and Stimpy fame Fog. He wants to do some log surfing."); an ition of their current single and video "Memory death-defying leap from the top of the stacks|^^^«-Arall, the band members circulated afterwards. audience and answering any and all questions. Afterdates With Orange. The Odds were a bit mellow. Not being very familiar with the band, I was surprised to hear a number of songs that I'd heard before (''Hey, I didn't know they did that"). Also based in Vancouver, Chris Northey (vocals/guitar), Steven Drake (vocals/guitar), Douglas Elliott (bass/vocals) and Pau I Brennan (drums) have been on tour since May. in support of their Zoo/BMG release "Bedbugs". Their sound could best be described as 70's-intluenced, driving, upbeat pop-rock (did 1 hear the word "alternative?" Gasp!), easily comparable to bands like Sloan. Laidback and fun, their lengthy set consisted of a lot of banter ("Say hello to Bob theT-Shirt guy"); cool music from Bedbugs and their first release, Neapolitan; and quite a few surprises, such as a cover of the Aerosmith classic "Sweet Emotion" and something that sounded an awful lot like The Beastie Boys' "So Wha Cha Want". Unfortunately, the show was marred by a rather muddy sound system, but the crowd enjoyed it immensely. I, for one, was held captive on the dance floor by a very tall, very drunk A individual, and the band has to be good to get mc dancing. If jJJ they're back again, I'm there (there are benefits to having a " press pass!). How about you? ,4. M: * CONTRASTS: DELIGHTFULLY ENTERTAINING VOCALS Happening KING After a brief intermission the Wilfrid Laurier WHAT'SF.A.S.S. '94: Jest Add Laughter is performed in the Humanities TANYA Cord Entertainment University Choir joined the KW Philharmonic Choir theatre at UW tonight until Feb 5 to perform "African Sanctus"; again under the con- Furnaceface heat up the Volcano Feb 4 Last Saturday evening Kitchener's Centre In The ducting of Howard Dyck. The Tea Party, Junkhouse and Strange Days congregate at Lulu's Square presented Contrasts, a choral performance "African Sanctus" was written by David Feb 4 featuring the Kitchener Waterloo Philharmonic Choir Fanshawe after his travels through Africa. As he Monsters, Myths and Magic is the theme for the Grand Bend Winter and our own Wilfrid Laurier University Choir. rode a camel with a Bedouin tribe he recorded the Carnival, taking place from Feb 4 until the 13 The first performance by the KW Philharmonic chants, dances, and sounds of more than 50 different "Welcome Home" theKW Symphony at the Centre in the Square Feb was of Alfred Schnittke's "Requiem". The back- tribes. The tapes included sounds of Muslim and 4 and 5 ground of the piece was explained by conductor Howard Arabic tradition, providing religious pieces of the Honeymoon Suite bless us with their devine presence at Lulu's Dyck, who gave examples of the different musical Koran and other African traditions. The tape is February 5 sounds heard throughout the piece. This was only the combined with the music that Fanshawe wrote for Ani DiFranc will be performing her brand of folk at Phil's Feb 8 sccond time that "Requiem" has been performed in the live choir which represents the sounds of Euro- Concrete Blonde stir things up at Lulu's Feb 9 Canada. It was first performed in Edmonton last year. pean culture. Tennessee William's The Glass Menagerie is performed at the The piece presented what Dyck labelled, "an as- The incredible sounds of the more than 200 Theatre of the Arts Feb 9-12 tonishing variety of musical sounds." The choir was singers provided an incredible journey through Af- Chosci Komatsu, the KW Symphony's new music director, conducts backed by a small number of musical instruments; rican culture assisted by soloists Camilla his first Pops series at the Centre In The Square Feb 10-12 organ, guitar, bass, trumpet, trombone, bells and tim- Krishnamurthy and Stephanie Kramer, as well as The Rhinos crash the Volcano Feb 1 1 pani. The music itself was beautiful. The Latin verse some interesting percussion. The WLU choir was Heather Bishop returns to the K-W area Feb 12 with two shows at was sounded in an almost eerie, minor sounding voice. excellently trained ahead of time by Noel Edison. Kitchener city hall The choir pulled it off marvelously. One WLU singer later commented on how ex- Beethoven Lives Upstairs will be presented by the KW Symphony at Laurier should be proud to note that Laurier stu- citing and how much of an experience the evening the Centre In The Square Feb 13 dents stood out as the piece's soloists. Marie Criscionc was. She also commented on the excitement the Violinist Erika Raum joins the K-W Symphony for a Serenade Series and Maria Shantz sang soprano with Stephanie Rowc WLU Choir got out of being able to perform in a real concert at the Centre in the Square Feb 20 concert venue. Here's hoping that it was only the . on \ »» Kitchener/ ; », (4tt i t t <1»» 1 **•4Jlittl4 » i I 1 t ii • » 1 ,'JW .H'&h,Arctic tenor Kelly Robertson. beginning of their opportunities. Waterloo Art Gallery until Feburary 27 18 ENTERTAINMENT THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 BRANDON DID WHAT?! The shows, follow one or both, to the next day, which leaves us SCOTT KING it that we, the students of greater we buy it on a weekly basis. also as with where we are now, on Cord Entertainment intellect and the future of this na- Another reason we're tuning provide us, students, Thursdays, yet another common social bond. listening to everyone else's opin- It's Thursday and classes arc pro- tion, can be captured by these shows in are the plots. They're mindless, Not only do we clamor together to ions and predicting next week's ceeding as normal. The school is week after week? predictable and completely addic- watch the shows, we speak to the outcomes. And we will continue to bustling and at our institution of The following are a few ideas tive. There is just something about characters and to each do this, as it seems that we have higher learning the students might I've come up with to answer this seeing the trials and tribulations of television other, agreeing and disagreeing, found a way to bridge the social be discussing ...current events? question. The first is pretty simple. these groups that we just can't tear commentingon the moral dilemma gap between us all, and indulge homework? Not likely, but if you Sex. Hot babes and sexy men, ourselves away from. Morally, they at or just how cute that dress ourselves in a little eye candy to listen closely, you will hear what torrid affairs and fatal attractions, can be at times too pure and then hand looks on Donna. give our taxed university mind's they are talking about. Statements these shows have got it all. And can turn around and can be com- These conversations carry over the rest they sorely need. such as "Brandon did what?" or while it is true that 90210 deals pletely corrupt. I call it "Michael is such a slime" arc the with a little younger crowd, the soapopcritis. burning topics of conversation. only real difference is that on Through the 90210 gang, we Chances are most of you have Melrose, we get to sec a little of can relive our younger, carefree watched or faithfully follow the what Dylan and Kelly do when the days, even though most of the cast HAGGISEATER shows mentioned but for those of camera cuts away from them. are older than us, and through the you who live a sheltered life, I'll Both shows have attractive Melrose crew, we catch a glimpse bring you up to speed. The shows people of both sexes and for all of how the "real" world will be, I'm talking about are Beverly Hills tastes. Personally, I've seen rooms that is, if we lived in California, 90210 and Melrose Place. And if divided over the 90210 girls (but had jobs and the morals of Howard you are like me, and I know many we all know Kelly is the best!!!), Stern. However, we still manage of you arc, a solid two hours arc and a few heated debates between to somehow emerge ourselves in taken up every Wednesday by the ladies over the many men of these ideals and story-lines with- lives of these Californians. How is Mel rose. The point is sex sells and out question. PURE SOCKO

DAVID POPOVICH animated and energetic. Everyone was having a Cord Entertainment phenomenal time as the band played well into the What do beer, plaid jackets, dancing with plastic lawn early morning hours. The group was more than ornaments and Ohio have in common? Well, when one happy to take requests from the audience integrating is on a quest to seek out new bands and entertainers virtually anything, from rockin' melodies to show there are no limitations to the distance in which one tunes, into their unique playing technique. may travel. In my particular case I'll go virtually One of the most outstanding attributes of anywhere, so long as 1 don't run out of gas. Venturing these gentlemen was their casual approach to their out across this globe in search of new and exciting music. The absence of a stern musical agenda, entertainment took me south of the border to Bowling which at many times limits a band's versatility, and Green, Ohio. their easy going attitudes produced a vibrant and This extraordinary place, chalk-full of fantastic lively dimension to their music. Like many of their people and unimaginable adventure furnished me with Canadian counterparts this band is just getting its the opportunity to discover up and coming entertainers start doing the continental trek playing the univer- who have not yet travelled northward to our fine sity circuit. When I spoke to the band they informed country. While taking in the sights and sounds of this me that presently their schedule is limited to U.S. town of many wonders I was fortunate enough to catch cities only. the action of Johnny Socko. Wild, Wacky and FarOut! However, for those of you who are interested, With flashy die hard retro seventies action wear they arc releasing their premier CD, entitled Bovine clashed with an outrageous Ska brand of music, this Aquarium some time this month. So, if you're into band from Indiana could definitely rattle the cage. The Skaorarcjust lookingforsomcthingabit more wild music was loud, rough and overall fantastic. It wasn't than usual you should be on the lookout for Johnny too long before a sizable percentage of the audience Socko. Adventure awaits ... beyond! was up and dancing. Various lawn ornaments embel- If you are interested in any information pertain- Celtic rock band Rawlins Cross played to an enthusiastic lishing the stage were prone to be seized by those ing to Johnny Socko please feel free to write to: audience at the Bombshelter last Thursday night as part of a groovin' on the dance floor. Johnny Socko, P.O. Box 393, Bloomington, IN ten day tour of Ontario and Quebec. Scott Both the audience, as well as the group were 47402 U.S.A. Pic: Dave

Corrections: at the LOADS OF ■ 'l l 'r i ,cl: 'jIJI In the article Twelfth Nightmare: Hippie Hell, Colin Buehler's name was LIVE HHHj misspelled. We apologize Wilo*9 to Colin again. I FRI. FEB. 41 IFRI. FEB.IIJ

"God save thee, ancient Mariner! I FRI. I SAT. FEB. 191 From the fiends, FEBJBJ that plague thee thus!- IB— Why looks'st thou BllHfllH so?" -With my |EVERY crossbow SAT| I shot the 112 ALBATROSS BLACK WEDNESDAYS-FREE POOL ALL NITE LONG jftjflSf'l^^rSill B2 - jjlMlllJ^M HEAVY BEAT THAT'S ALWAYS TOO DAMN LOUD \ Hfmlllil ■ Feeling hostile? DOORS OR EN A X 8:30 R IVI J Jllffi"— Read Cord TICKETS FOR ALL LIVE SHOWS SOLD AT: HMV (WLOO), ENCORE, DR. DISC, SHAKEDOWN 5T.,4 mi \j \r|lV;l I - 276 W., KIT. 741-9186 \jjff Entertainment! THE VOLCANO KING ST. j 112 THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 ENTERTAINMENT 19 PYROMANIACS AT WILF'S DINNER? STEFANIE TRUDEAU they arc, trying to fit in, and trying Cord Entertainment to find Willy's wife and child which he left back in the past. There are Every time I passed by Late For some humourous moments and Dinner at the video store, I was some touching sccncs, but the

intrigued, but for some reason - a film's major flaw is how long it gut instinct perhaps -1 neverended takes for the story to get moving. up renting it. Then, while brows- By the time the two guys wake ing through the 1994 Video Re- up in the future, it was difficult for view Guide, I noticed a four star me to even care what happened to rating for Late For Dinner so I them because I was so bored. decided togive the movie achancc. Another point that was a little hard I should have trusted my instincts. to swallow was the way they aged Four stars for this film seems a Willy's wife. 1 don't think they did little much. anything more than add a streak of Thcstory begins in 1962when gray to her hair. Other than that, two best friends, Frank and Willy, she looked the same as she did in are in trouble with the law for 1962. something they didn't do. While Compared to how long the escaping the heat, they meet a sci- story took to capture my interest, I entist who is looking for guinea felt that the film was cheapened pigs for an experiment which in- even more by the short and unsat- volves submerging the subjects into isfying ending. Brian Wimmcr a deep sleep and a deep freeze and Peter Berg who play the title which will preserve them for an roles were, at most, mediocre, as indefinite amount of time. Think- were the rest of the performances. ing they will just wake up the next I wouldn't recommend viewingthis morning, the two friends volun- film unless you don't have any- O'Hara's put on a scorching show at WilPs last Thursday night. Catch their next live Flaming teer for the experiment. thing else to do, but 1 can't speak this Saturday at the Turret as they jam at the Musicians' Network CD Release performance night When they do emerge from for everyone. Some of you may The other acts who will be are The Result, Matt Osborne, Three Long Men, Party. performing the freeze, it is 1991. The story actually enjoy Late For Dinner as Andrew Lockington,Squirm and pnineas gage. Pic: Selene MacLeod then continues with Frank and much as the editors of the 1994 Willy trying to figure out where Video Review Guide did.

Ergo By C. Walsh

WLU STUDENTS! "When the time

Andrews is offering, NO DOWN NO PAYMENTS, INTEREST IB ApplicationsAnnlirsrinris will hebe accentedaccepted tromfrom FOR 6 MONTHS (OAC.) on all to March 25 in the riuman diamond engagement, anniversary / 112 March 14 and wedding rings. 112 j I Resources Dept. (232 King Street) for (Includes all Sale Priced Rings) summer student positions available Its worth the drive j||P<^ on campus. to downtown Kitchener" Quality • • j? Selection Service StyleforJiffTastes ***** **** From solitaires to unique custom designs choice is yours! C#7V -J Moxvrr Open ji-.well.krs 5 Mon.-Sat. 9-5:30, Fri. till 9 available 0 laasl Applications for positions 1 30 KING ST. EAST, DOWNTOWN KITCHENER- 742-8611 in fall/winter (1994-95) will be o Opposite Woolworth's - Convenient public parking at storeside available Au°"USt 1 1994 in Human Resources.

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' " ' M..U1.1L-11'JUi . 20 ENTERTAINMENT THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 WAR STORY BATTLE BRIGADE JAYSON "RAMBO" Leaf Route series, h is book on Battle Copp for a couple of courses (His- taking a wide variety of sources diers who fought. Canada's sol- GEROUX Exhaustion: Soldiers and Psychia- tory 297 and History 397), and I and evidence and fashioning a diers fought with inferior weap- Cord Entertainment trists in the Canadian Army 1939- think he is an outstanding military "story" to describe what takes place. onry and were consistently on the This week, I dare to review The 1945, as co-dircctor of the Lauricr historian. So you will have to ex- Second, he attempts to take the offensive, while their German Brigade, written by Laurier's own Centre for Military, Strategic, and cuse my personal bias. I do also reader down to the battalion and counterparts were heavily dug-in, professor of military history and Disarmament Studies, and as editor realize that I am kind of ass-kissing company level, bringing the reader well-equipped, and desperately on cditorof Laurier's Canadian Mili- of the above-mentioned CMH. In right now, especially if Professor the defensive. Also, because Ca- tary History (reviewed just four The Brigade, Professor Copp dis- Copp is reading this. However, to nadian military commanders(Copp weeks ago in this very column!), cusses the Fifth Canadian Infantry be truthful, I will be straight-for- also discusses their weaknesses Terry Copp. Professor Copp has Brigade from 1939 to 1945. ward and honest with my review, and strengths and assesses the ef- established himself as a dedicated I will admit to all of you right as I always am with all the books I fects each had on the battlefield) military historian with his Maple now that I have had Professor read. failed to rccognizc the need for The Brigade superior numbers when it came to by Terry Copp infantry force-ratios, Canadian GLASS MENAGERIE Fortress Publications Inc. casualties were very high and 208 pages costly. In fact, Canadian-German ANNE FERGUSON experience a little culture not too far $34.95 battles were some of the most in- Cord Entertainment from homehut unfamiliarwith Uof At first Professor Copp was tense and bitterest battles along the The University of Waterloo is W's campus, here arc some direc- pre- only going to write about the entire Allied front. YET Canadian senting Tennessee Williams' The tions for the common pedestrian Calgary Highlanders, one of the forces overcame all of these odds Menagerie as the fourth of such as myself: at the University Glass three regiments that make up 5 to defeat the German defenders. its six-play run in honour of the Avenue entrance go up the stairs CIB. Copp learned, however, that Thus Copp refuses to deni- Drama 25th anniver- keeping the bookstore on your Department's — a history ofthe whole brigade the grate Canada's soldiers as past his- right. Take the first pathway left, sary. Calgaries, the Royal Highland into battle, as it were. As Copp torians have, and instead praises auditions were held to this timekeepingthc library on your Open Regiment of Canada (or the Black points out in hiscpiloguc, too many them for their adapting to and over- find the cast of the play most of right, and walk down the steps. but Watch), and Le Regiment de military history books tend to focus coming the difficulties. He does so at Where, you may ask, are you go- its members are drama students — Maisonncuvc would make more on strategy and operational plan- in a well-written and thought-pro- U of Directed by senior student ing? The Modern Languages W. sense. Copp docs a fine job in ning, while not taking the reader voking book which details the ac- the Building of course, in which you Jennifer Epps, play features discussing all three regiments from into combat. Copp wishes for his tions of the Fifth Canadian Infantry Joel Harris, Nancy Forde, will find, straight ahead, the Thea- Linda the brigade's early mobilization to readers to feel, and not just read, Brigade. From this book, we learn tre of the Arts! Albanese, and Joey Morin. its days in battle from July 1944 to what happened in combat with the that Canada did play a major contri- Williams' most The Glass Menagerie is play- Often termed May 1945, and he advances argu- Calgaries, the Black Watch, and bution to the liberation of north- autobiographical work, Glass ing at U of W's Theatre of the Arts The ments that fly in the face of past the Maisonneuves. west Europe during the Second the Modern Languages Build- Menagerie relates the narrator's in historians' discussions of the Cana- Copp advances the argument World War. memories of his mother and sister, ing. Show dates are Wednesday dian contribution to the liberation that the Canadians were equal to A special thank you goes to the in February 9th to Saturday the 12th, both of whom are unattainable of Europe during the Second and even better than their German incredibly nice Kathryn worlds, Tom's at 8:00 Tickets can be pur- their dream (the pm. World War. counterparts, thus refusing the old Wardropper who lent me this book narrator) and longing, chased in advance by calling the loneliness Professor Copp also included argument fueled by past historians to review. You can find The Bri- own, leads to Theatre Centre Box Office at 885- mirroring Williams' two major differences with The that described the superiority of gade as well as Professor Copp's his desertion of his 4280, or at the door. Rates arc great heartbroken Brigade. First, he has written the the German army while at the same many other books in the Lauricr $8 for students and seniors, $10 family. at book in a narrative history fashion. time denigrating the Canadian sol- bookstore. For those of you anxious to for adults. See you there!

1

12 KOSIS THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 ENTERTAINMENT 21

like it might turn out to be a real football game. My roommate Reid showed up just after the game WAR ZONE AT PHIL'S started and showed off the gaping head wound he tunes their jolly had suffered the night before. We all waited with DAVID POPOVICH lively sparked by Accompanied by your stand- great anticipation for the half time show to begin. Cord Entertainment antics. FROM and drums VIEW I trekked in sub- ard electric guitars they How could you not be excited about something that Last Wednesday to to animated the music with atypical was titled "Wavy Lays Halftime Show - Rockin zero temperatures Phil's catch THE the band The Stoaters. After nearly flutes, Celtic drums and tambou- Country Sunday". rines. This indisputably was the However, the vast importance of the Judds freezing to death getting there I element which FARM being reunited was lost on my fellow viewers. Tang was informed at the door that the furnished the songs with their warmhearted har- commented on the hundreds of extras who were group's van broke down outside of rich, GREG SLOAN dancing to the rhythms of an overweight dirtass in Ottawa, therefore they were not mony. Cord Entertainment was a time trans- a baby blue jump suit and having "fake fun". coming. Believe me readers this is Phil's for brief saw perhaps the entertainment across the Atlantic, crash The? past weekend Halftime also saw the second round of the chili a typical day in my life! ported the This event saw millionaires the U.K. 1 spectacle of year. and nacho's. We polished off the plate, but we Fortunately, their opening landing somewhere in other and to chasing each around trying get posses- weren't feeling that great. Doughboy was right band, War Wagon, saved the day really don't recall the last time I've I'm talking about sion of a piece of pigskin. Ofcourse, when he said we will probably all be hung over and put on a really great show had European flashbacks while known as the game in that It was Superßowl XXVIII, otherwise tomorrow, not from alcohol, but because of con- playing for those few who braved hanging out place. win. The of these that Buffalo justcan't suming vast amounts of the meaty broth. Carnage the harsh Arctic climate. This local fantastic! enthusiasm other a Like almost every Superßowl, this game said his stomach burned with hatred over the agony group of Celtic performers enter- five figures on stage projected the toilet. was about as exciting as plunging After all brought upon it by the endless onslaught of chili. tained the tiny congregation with certain energy, warming up the the proceeded to the hype, Jim Kelly and boys Militia-Man was just upset because it was his dish bar that cold winter's night. chokc once again. I was rooting for the Bills just day. I know most people assume the as because I feel sorry for city of- The sccond half featured the that the opening band isn't good must the and re- Buffalo. Now they pin all their Comparable to eating all too familiar picturc of Thurman as headliner usually hopes on the perennial playoff los- Thomas fumbling the ball, and the gard the openers as background the broccoli souffle at neces- ers, the Sabres. Bills offense stalling. The biggest noise; however this is not has An annual tradition which the Dining Hall out of disappointment, however, was the sarily true. I've seen a good number become just as important as the game an ashtray commercials. While our American of ccntrc stage acts who haven't come close the perform- itself is the Supcrßowl party. A .neighbours were able to see new even to bunch of people get together, con-" multi-million dollar spots featuring ance of War Wagon. and and watch the was extremely skil- sumc vast quantities of food drink, Kramer, Cindy Crawford and beer bottles playing This group blow-out I am not one to stand in the way and really enjoyed annual fest. football (the Bud Bowl), we were treated to about ful. energetic tradition, so I joined friends in devouring a performing, with- of my a gazill ion car commercials. Each quarter was spon- themselves while we call Chili. out focus on their perform- concoction affectionately sored by a different car maker. Yippee. losing drank, The hardest stuff we however, was Pepsi. And what's thiscommercial fcaturingShaquillc Pic: Selene MacLeod ance. all the before The Keg party we attended night O'Neal trying to rap? The lyrics consisted of the us from having any desire to drink beer. It stopped lines Do you want me to shoot (no), Do you want me would have been comparable to eating the Broccoli to pass (no), Do you want me to slam (yes). Do we the out of an ash tray. 1 stayed souffle at Dining Hall want you on our television set singing your heart at known affectionately UO the night my friend's place, out (no), arc you a victim of overexposure (yes). DYNAMIC because just didn't want to by Tanya as the Ezra hotel, I Dallas won the game, and Carnage had to fork Ventura and Melanie Seal negotiate the walk home. Dear Dynamic Duo, them! I have been over two dollars to Tang. The money wasn't a big and swallowing on morning As 1 constantly see all of the ads, I planned getting up early Sunday deal. It was the fact that Tang's complete knowl- having dillusions about other games. so 1 actually something banners and people promoting Win- and walking home could get edge of the game is that yes, the players do have to Ooooh, help me please Dynamic Duo. done the started. It didn't work out ter Carnival '94 (The LauricrSnow before big game wear helmets. He was trying, however, and it didn't Signed, Erotic in the l.aurier (Sex) I on the pull-out coach until three Olympics), I have been recently hav- that way. laid take us long to teach him that there arc four downs Snow Olympics! afternoon, the ing extreme sexual urges, fantasies o'clock in the reading movie posters American football. Dear Erotic, in and premonitions related to the car- that arc up on the walls and keeping time to the were You chalk up huge points on our Boon and Brad looked like they about to is one of the pounding in my head. The smell of the chili cooking nival's events. Here scale ofsexual creativity! Go with it, explode after the second round of nachos began to #1 me a bit, and I actually began to cxamplesofmycroticsensations. worth a letter to Lorna Marsden. did revive by 5:30 set in. We all swore that we would not eat chili again, it's on The Olympic marshmallow stuff. I regain complete feeling in my body. We planned XXIX. I In the meantime enjoy the upcoming or at least not until Supcrßowl only hope that this innocently in- waiting until kick-off before we began eating the know game Winter Olympics! (How about the that the Bills don't show up next year for Super volves stuffing marshmallows into chili. The fact that we have no will power, however, disappointment number five. Maybe we'll be lucky way those men lie on the luge?) of stuff your mouth and repeating a word meant that we devoured a pot and a half the and Denver will take their turn at being trounced, Dear Dynamic Duo, were even withoutswallowing. My imbalanced before the players introduced. Having giving Buffalo a rest. And hopefully it will be the My roommate and I are begin- we now back and were to sexual preferences have twisted an filled our bellies, sat ready who be doing the trouncing. And ning to feel that there is something Detroit Lions will image of this game which involves watch the festivities. the farm week. wrong with us. You see, we don't that's the view from for this marshmallows some- The first half was actually exciting, and it looked stuffing the have any peculiar fetishes, wc don't else and slowly licking, biting where 'like' sheep,arc notatlractcd toeach other, and although wc like Data -gar, jaife.. /tiSsx /I'fex /' Jo>, /<3OX c .SB- from TNG, wc most often would ;^; ®jp ><||P ffe s#@ 3|tp rather have sex with any one of the unnamed buxom ensigns cavorting about the ship. You see, we are two

straight guys - we arc eager viewers E7EITO g of Baywatch - and we're not watch- CMM OF ing for plot. If you know what I mean. Aside from being altogether politically incorrect, and feeling ■ rather untrendy, we can't help but admire great hooters and cutc buns. monday | tuesday Wednesday thursday friday Saturday Sunday And by the way, while wc arc aware EQt that these arc grade three-like pseu- Sensational donyms, we can't just bring our- «&$& o o \e«*' LUNCH from EE o Kl^ selves to use terms like "mammary : 4:nn Sunday VALUFS 11 nn glands", or the "fatty tissue adja- llaHfljM~ oen WING -Great New Dinner Selections Brunch cent to the biceps". Do wc need Fresh Bread Grilled help? Arc there "kits" out there Tuesdays KIITPIMIIfc Baked Vegetables Hpg House Salad # that wc could use, or arc wc simply 4pm S ciose -Free Pool Party] SPUN UIITH OUR too boring and conventional for the liß the »GCT o«2£«* 90's? Signed, Two I'ashionTVJunkies Dear "FT" Junkies, You guys arc perfect for the nineties; television is the safest sex you can find. There's nothing wrong with good old faithful reliable guys. Beastiality is nothing to desire. Many of our letters arc extreme, but average Joe has - you have proven the Kld * da ■L V s tat ; from problems too. Many women find

v " RHI & " jwllPi Free! LUN C H bS themse I ve s wa l c hin g M eI rose lbr _ reasons other than plot. " If you have any questions about U N L I IV/l I X E D sex, write a letter to the Dynamic u m "H SOU P, SAI A D, BR EA D WITH ALL ENTREES Duo and drop it off at the Centre I Spot. Marshmallows? Eww,yuck. Every Nite After 9:oopm Pitchcr N' Pizza 812.89 22 ENTERTAINMENT THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 FASHION SHOW ENJOYABLE BUT TOO LONG off MELANIE SEAL the very least, I would get to see the local merchants to show Cord Entertainment some skin. their clothing. It gave students a chance to view clothing in their Fashion. Anyone that has seen the Once inside, I found the place price range. way I dress knows that I haven't filled with display stands that local The MC came out dressed in the siightcst clue about trends com- merchants had set up. There were a tux, and I thought to myself that ing out of Milan. So, as I climbed booths like Campus Crew, Joico, the show had a professional look. the steps to the Turret, I comforted and a place to buy Phantom of the It started out with casual wear. myself with the fact Opera tickets.The show was a part that perhaps I The models were obviously well would be a little enlightened. At of Discount Daze 2, a chancc for rehearsed, as they strutted their stuff as well as the emaciated girls on Fashion Television. The clothes from Origins DOUGH BOYS RISE looked kinda cool, and though I wouldn't wear any of it, people next to me said "That store is across King, right?" Exposure was the main purpose for the show. My only complaint would be that there Nice models wearing nice clothes Pic: Peter Bollenbach were tons ofclothes put out in a set, from only one store. 1 noticed this their peers. heart?) But the Bridal Penthouse with stores like Campus Crew, The models were very good put on the last set, and the tuxedos Mark's Work Wearhouse, and a great selection was made by were awesome. Maybe it's just Thrifty's, and Randy Rivers. How John Kolovrat, theorganizer, as all me, I couldn't see any difference many times do 1 have to see jeans shapes and sizes were represented. between the six tuxes. They all and sweats? I liked that the stores I saw what the clothes would look looked good. Now I was squirm- displayed the variety within their likeon my build, notjust the model ing simply because of my own fear own stock, but repetition made the type. As clothes got fancier, 1 was of anything closely resembling a show a little lengthy. aware the price range had to be matrimonial ceremony, but I do The music definitely added to going up. But the stores like Club have to admit the wedding gown the show. 1 know it kept me inter- Mill, Dalmy's, Stars, and was pretty. It wasn't the Princess ested. The commentator stumbled Fairweather have great quality Diana dress I had imagined myself on some pretty cheesy lines, but clothes. I could feel my credit card in, but it would do. I kinda felt a this added to the overall effect. burning in my wallet. wee bit sorry for the model that The bathing suit set was most At this point the length of the had to be the "groom-to-be"; that's impressive. I came with the desire show began to tax me. We had got to cramp a guy's social life. to see skin, and boy did I get it. already sat for about an hour, and Overall, I enjoyed the fashion Although I noticed the amount of I found myself yawning and start- show, although 1 found it too long. 'unnecessary boobness', and flex- ing to fidget. A look to see my My friends were begging for mercy ing muscles (relax guys, you all friend doodling in her notepad and wanted out right away. I can't look like Arnold) the 'peep- proved I was not alone. wouldn't say that if you missed it ing Tom' in me was thoroughly Backon track, theguys looked you'd live an unrewarding life for- impressed. These models must be sensational in their suits. (Why ever; but being free it was a good given credit for their ability to walk haven't guys clued in to the fact way to think about spendingmoney The Doughboys baked The Volcano Jan. 17th Pic: Dave Scott around half-naked in the midst of that a tie is the way to a girl's 1 don't have! PHOTO CONTEST I W Please bring your photos to the Cord m offices or tfte Cord feedback booth in the Concourse. Due by February 28th, .Contact the Features Editor I Ing.id Ntelfe^otlii, the, into,malion nHBBIHI MUM pDiwPtesr" 'ssvs'es 112 HluVl ro>ls of fjlm Come to enjoy the best.buffet in town! I The winners will be displayed the following rmiipcA week (March 3) in the Feature Section. Student I 1 Lunch I $499 Specials

IkaK - Saturday JcQQ Student Card to receive the following

, qreat discounted Buffet Prices. THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 COMMENT 23 Presidential election volume XXXIV issues 1-27 1994: Pros and cons This is the season for the sounds of student elections to ring through the halls of academia, calling to everyone to vote. Although the students have minimal say in the selection of the administration and the faculty that control our A Wilfrid Laurier ~ni~Student Publication educational experiences at Laurier, we do have tl>e ability to choose our student leaders. Democracy is challenged by 75 University Ave.. fittjt(Waterloo, Ont. N2L 3C5 ignorance, however, and it is the responsibility of you, the students, to make sure you arc informed on the issues lhatarc (519) 884-2e · t=ax: (519) 884-5596 important to you. iL The Cord's offices arc right down the hall from those of the Students' Union, and we spend much of our time Advetfis!fng: (519) 884-5092 watching and writing about the Union. Although we cannot force you to vote one way or the other, we can provide you with this, the Cord's annual election feelings, as an informed view of your presidential candidates • ...... ::J ...... ,...... Sheldon Page David Tricker: Tricker has little experience with the Union, although, as he pointed out, that's because he was not ...... Kathleen Honey acclaimed to a position this year. He has obviously kept abreast of the issues, or at least he has shown a successful effort EDITOR ...... ~ ...... Steve Doak to learn about everything. He plays the part of politician well, looking more comfortable during the open forums than 'Al\IMiNT EDITOR ...... Greg Sloan any of the other candidates, but it takes a lot more than that to run the multi-million dollar Union. Practice makes perfect, ASSISTANl\ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR ...... Scott McCormick and Tricker falls short in this category. He is prepared to get involved with a number of projects such as a student course SPORTS EDIJ'OR ...... Jennifer O'Connell calender and next year' s municipal elections. He's also got enough catch-phrases to make many of the issues a part of everyday conversation. For example, there 's his "Communiversity" idea, to eliminate services which we don't really ASSISTANT Sf)ORTS EDITOR ...... Eda Di Liso need on campus, such as Health Services. He could run into problems if students go vocal as soon as any of these PRODUCTION MANAGER ...... Lynn McCuaig conveniences arc challenged. He shows a willingness and ab ility to learn, but will his inexperience be a great obstacle FEATURES EDITOR ...... :.--...... Ingrid Nielsen to his performance? STAFF REPRESENTATIVE ...... ; ...... Sean Wilde GeoffThureson: Thurcson docs not have a list of titles to back up is name, or knowledge of the issues. He is unaware STAFF of the policies of the CCBC and OUSA, the two groups which could bring huge financial ben fits to the University. He Production Assistants: apparently plans to rely a lot on the full time staff and the Vice Presidents to accomplish things and to keep him informed...... , ...... ;;!. ..• :: ...... Andrew Cameron He said he wants to be President to sec if he can do a better job than the presidents he has critisizcd in the past, but he ...... ! .... -:...... Paul M"Lean also said he wants to keep a lot of things the way they have been. He missed the open forum on Monday, at least in part Classified Co-ordinator .... , ...., ...... Amanda Dowling to play video basketball in the Corner Pocket. On the plus side, his style of individuality will bring a breath of fresh air into the Students' Union. He will force the students to reconsider their opinions on traditional practices. But will he take Circulation and Filing ...... John Hucullak the initiative to get anything done? Cop~ditors: /. ./, ...... ! ...... Emma Dwyer Ralph Spoltore: Spoltorc earns kudos for being the nicest, most sincere, most modest, and most enthusiastic name on ~ ...~ ...... Sandra Gabriele the ticket. He was one of Taylor's executive assistants this year, with the mission of bringing the athletics department CONTRIBUTORS further into the Laurier family. Attendance at games is up this year, and the athletes are showing up more in the SUB, Ben Baid{)e•is~. Zhora Adatia, Lawrence Anukam, Natisha so he might be doing a good job. His enthusiasm is infectious- when talking to him, there can be no doubt that he really Massaaqubi, S ,ne Macleod, Tanya King, Scott King, David believes in this school, and you leave with the reassurance that this is a damn fine place to be. It will be interesting to Popovich, St anie Trudeau, Jayson "Rambo" Geroux, Anne see how far he can spread the disease of school spirit and how much effect that will have on the changing face of Laurier. Ferguson, T~nya Ventura, Melanie Seal, Chris Walsh, Scott Stinson, On the other hand, Spoltorc is the first one to admit that he 's not thoroughly knowledgeable on the issues he will Paul Gray, f;,lete Robinson, Ralph Spoltore, Jim Elkins, Amal face. What this also means is that he 's not afraid to ask the people that do know what's going on- and he's friendly about Moussaoui, Mark Heasley, Amanda Dowling, Lori Dodman, Tracey it so almost no one can reject him. Unfortunately, this may push other people's perspectives on him, but he will probably Bowers, Andrew Hopper, Ken Breadner, Jim Lowe, Alexandra Lawson, not lose his drive to do everything he can "for the kids." Can he transfer his ability to lead on the football field to the Jennifer Scott, Scott McKay, Todd Simpson, Beth H~dl._ Samuel Office of the President? Morrison, Jason Gilmore, Rahul Raj, Hugh MacPhje,"Ter.!fGrogan, Ted Smith. Saar Pikar: Pikar's main experience comes from his extensive travelling throughout the world and his experiences at institutions in other countries. He is currently heavy in the residence system on campus, haven to the ever-important frosh vote. Pikar is convinced that he can do a good job through determination and persistance. He will bring a new perspective ProduC\Cbn.. : Patricia Matthews, Mark'!jeasley, Jayson "Rambo" into the Union and a drive to change everything that docsn 't suit him. Unless, of course, he runs smack into the

Geroux.. 0 ./ f' / unmovcablc juggernaut of the administration, revamped with a new VP: Academic and the return of the magical Andrew Photo: Peter Bollenbach, Ron Ze~n. Selene Macleod, Dave Scott. Berczi to the VP: Finance position. Pikar seems to be very set in his ways, which can be good at getting things done, but Cover photo: Deb Duiker. can be bad once he starts stepping on toes. Beyond this apparent determination, however, he has flip-flopped on the Health Plan issue, claiming that people who do not need the Health Plan should not pay for those who do in an interview Arts Section Coordinator: on Sunday, but then saying at Monday's open forum that such a plan should not be challenged. Will his lack of familiarity with the Union also makes him a likely victim of mid-year burn-out? .T PUBLICATIONS UREA ...... ~ ...... Jennifer Martin Aileen McPherson: McPherson's experience as Vice President of Student Activities this year has exerted a strong ANAGER "J1 ...... Debbie Duiker influence on her platform for the Presidency. She has vowed to take a team approach to the job, building school spirit ·ec'hnicians':• .,...... Kef/ Watson both within the Union and throughout the campus. Her department has run well this year, but running the Union is a much ...... ' , ...... ,, ...... I . n.evtnv . D'tc k'tnson larger job than running a single department. She knows what the issues arc, although she docs not have enough experience Graphic Arts Technician ...... Anton Volcansek with most of them, such as OUSA, to adequately put forth a strong position on them . With time, however, she can increase Art Director ...... Tina Romano her knowledge base. She will bring a healthy attitude into the position, and a determination to get the job done. But can she can maintain the enthusiasm of the volunteers and keep herself focussed on the important although boring administrative tasks of the presidency? ADVE~TISING Manager ...... ; ...... Mark Hand Phill Kinzinger: Kinzinger has promoted himself as a prophet of Passive Nihilism. It's nice to see that two unrelated Ad Production Manager ...... fauJtt:kalijarvi terms can be linked like this, applying knowledge from first year history. Although he has brought an air of levity to this Ad Production Assistants ...... Dawns Maclvor year's election, his platform is not to be trusted. An example of Passive Nihilism was Kinzingcr's early exit from ...... David Janzen Monday's open forum after he claimed that he was hungry. Kinzinger claims that Passive Nihilism is a transient Sales ...... , ...... Jeff Nugent movement allowing one to throw off the philosophy at will. If elected Kinzingcr will probably drop Passive Nihilism ...... / ...... Sean Mateer like a hot potato. During his two years on the Board of Publications, Kinzingcr has proven to be ruthlessly dedicated to ., ...... Allan Pawelek proper procedure and rigid structure. Kinzingcr's platform is a farce. Are you willing to put him in control of the Students' Union? BOARD OF DIRECTORS Adrienne Hodgin, PresJdent Dave Bigioni: Bigioni was on the Union's Board of Directors in 92-93 and is currently on the University's Board of Governors. His greatest strength and his greatest weakness arc the manner in which he is ingratiated in the system. By Heather Mundell Sue Barry this time, he has acquired a thorough familiarity with the way things arc run throughout the University and the people Chris Bradley Phill Kinzinger that run them . It's an asset for him, because he is completely ready to take over the reins and lead. It's a liability, because Jeff Oegema Michael Rosenblatt many of his faults have been revealed, and it is unlikely that he'll bring much innovation into the system. Sean Tay)or (ex officio) It seems that Bigioni has been planning out his Presidency for years- he's probably got a huge file of reports and Here it is folks, the long awaite~{d~;eaded) election editorial! Not as had as some statistics on most of the topics he will have to deal with. During the current year, he has grabbed the spotlight with his had believed I think. All Letters ~ltbe Editor must b~,ubmitted signed, typed (or introduction of the Student Representatives Roundtable, the Speakers' Corner project, and the telephone situation. In submitted on disk or via E-m a in ~nd double-spaccd-:ify Tuesday , February I 0, at the last of these, he and Scan Taylor complained about the problem to the University's Board of Governors. At the 12:00 pm for the following pulfli¢~tion. But, weAlonly print letters that bear the meeting, they were promptly snubbed by the fact that this issue is not under the jurisdiction of the Board. By going over author's real name, telephonl pumber, andtDf n'Umber (if applicable). Please see the heads of the administration, however, it seems that a more sincere apology for the problem was received from Ron the letters policy on the nc/i."'page for all the ""details. All letters must be no longer Craig (VP: Finance) as well as Craig's reports in the Cord. Bigioni sticks to procedure when it suits him, but ignores it than words. All subfl}'.tlons become the property of The Cord and we reserve in other situations, an attitude which could lead to problems in some situations but which could prove effective in others. the ri l,to._edit or refusiit ny submissions. Open forums are great places to Jose Can he tell the difference or will he need luck? election '"Tbe Cord~· t

- Letters that are submitted on disk or via E-mail must be accompanied by a letters release appeared in last weeks issue of the Cord (Janu- Dear Editor: form or a signed hard copy that can be obtained at the Cord offices. ary 27th). It appears that Mr. Craig is trying to convince us that the Phone system is no longer I have chosen to convey my comment in the - Letters must be typed, double spaced, and cannot exceed 500 words. an issue. His letter last week goes into some form of a very true story. It is my particular - The Cord reserves the right to edit any letter. Spelling and grammarwill not be corrected. detail in informingusofwhatsolutionsthatthey desire that the author of "No Place For Fish In - The Cord reserves the right to reject any letter in whole or in part, that is violation of Cord" which last in have tried, and he attempts to convince us that appeared in week's Cord, will existing Cord policies. the phone problem is one of last year. I strongly consider how this column relates to the state- - The Cord is accepting photos to the editor. The Cord will accept black and white or colour disagree with this point of view asa person who ments she committed to paper. photographs. The photographer's name, address, phone number, student number, and brief lives in residence that uses the phone system on For the first 18 years of my life 1 believed that was a Christian. description must be printed on theback ofthe photograph. One photo per issue will be used. a daily basis. I continue to have problemscalling I My family dutifully both longdistance and local calls in the evening. attended church on Sundays and I was a "regu- mantly opposed. Let's face it, in today's soci- This problem is compounded by my friends and lar" at Sunday School. It was as if I attended a ety, being a Christian is unpopular, and that is family having trouble getting through to reach special school where I was enrolled in "Christi- 101". Over Lost support why I am not at all surprised by the violent me. I am not alone in my view, other residence anity the years I proved to be an reaction to the new column "Fish." students that I have talked to share these same exceptional student. I believed that I was a Dear Editor; In reading the last couple of "Fish" articles, concerns. Although I have not experienced it Christian on the basis that I knew all the an- I was a Dave Bigioni supporter, but I am no I must say that I agree with what he had to say myself, I have heard of other residence students swers. longer. My view of a great student leader is (although I would have gone about it differ- being billed for calls that they never made. As The only problem was, all of these answers someone that represents the interests and spirit ently). I find it interesting that some ofthe initial well, in the January 20th, and January 27th issue meant nothing to me. I was no different than a of the school and more importantly of the stu- responses to this column came from people who of the Cord in "SHHH... IT HAPPENS" Secu- "non-believer". I thought 1 was a Christian but dents! What I witnessed today at the debate in felt that he was forcing his religion upon them. rity has reported receivingnumerouscomplaints I now realize that those who knew me, did not the concourse was a display of ignorance and I certainly did not get that impression at all. Let about the Telephone system. The administration view me as a Christian. 1 didn't have a separate deception. Dave, the supposed front runner of me explain. As a follower of Christ, I want to has had over a full term to tackle this problem life-style—I did what everyone else did and I the election, and the apparent best candidate for share my faith with others for a couple of rea- which should have never happened in the first said the things that everyone else said. The only the job,lost my vote today when he made an off- sons. The first reason is that God commands me place. Over the Christmas break would have difference was the fact that I acknowledged that Jesus hand derogatory comment towards fellow can- to do so in His Word, and more importantly, the been the ideal opportunity to make necessary there is only one God whose son is Christ. didate SAAR PIKAR! I feel, as many other second reason is that I love Jesus Christ, and the changes to the phone system so it properly Two years ago, I met a very special person people do, that the person who would best rep- difference that He has made in my life makes me works. The administration must listen to the who showed me that my acknowledgements me into heaven. resent our school and students is not someone want to tell others about Him. I am by no means students and correct this problem immediately, were not going to get I began to Bible discovered that who puts down other people for the sole purpose forcing my beliefs on others by telling them not over a long period of time the way that they read the and I my good of self promotion. But rather is honest and true about the "Good News" that Christ loves them are currently handling it. works would not get me there either. I finally to understand what the Bible was in order to gain our deserved support. I hope that and died for them. Ultimately, the decision Craig Mojfatt began saying. the the students at WLU will see through Dave's comes down to the individual, cither to reject or Only sinless people can pass through gatesof facade and will elect someone better suited to be except Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour. heaven. Now that's a problem. Everyone has our next Student Union President! A fellow by the name of Josh McDowell, sinned and come short of the glory of God. No Lan Morton (a Concerned Voter) used to argue against the Christian faith, and he Spelling error matter how hard one tries to avoid it, he/she is set out to disprove everything about it, but in doomed to fall into sin. Even if one is very doing so he came to realize that Jesus really was careful in the manner that he/she acts that won't who He claimed to be, and as a result, Josh found in the cut it as the smallest evil thought is considered Sick of WLU's became a Christian. Over two hundred prophe- a sin. Now, Jesus is the only sinless man who cies were made about Jesus Christ in the Old ever lived and He gave up his sinless life so all Testament, and he fulfilled every one of them. word "woman" who believe in him may have eternal life. If we hypocrites In his book, *More Than a Carpenter*. Mr. accept Jesus into our hearts and truly believe that McDowell gives the odds of Jesus fulfilling just Dear Editor: his blood covers up our sins in the presence of Dear Editor: eight of those prophecies; "By using the modern As an English major here at Laurier, I feel I must God, God will then view us as sinless and He I am absolutely fed up with ail the liberal science of probability in reference toeight proph- bring your attention to the spelling error found will accept us into heaven. The emphasis is left-wing hypocrites here atLaurier spouting off ecies, we find that the chance that any man might a total of eleven times throughout last week's accepting Jesus intoyourheart. You must desire their slander against their own culture. Left- have lived down to the present timeand fulfilled "Womenwords" column by Andie Noack. Oddly in your heart to follow the teachings of Jesus wing liberal political correctness is not any all eight prophecies is 1 in enough, the world Noack spells wrong consist- Christ, you must have a life-style that ensures betterthan neo-nazi right-wingextremism. Every 100,000,000,000,000,000." To help you under- ently is the very word at the centre of her article. that you will glorify God in all you do. When liberal out there wants everyone to have their stand how staggering that probability is, he The word is "woman". you commit the smallest sin, you will feel dev- inside own right to their own opinion...as long as it gives us an illustration (and I am paraphrasing); Noack ends herarticle with "We are simply astated deep down and you will earnestly doesn't differ from their own. What I really "Take the state of Texas and cover it two feet in womyn [sic]...if your perceive this as a personal strive to do better. You will have a RELATION- liked in last weeks CORD was, "This 'Christian silver dollar coins (that's the same number as the threat then maybe you should take a really close SHIP with God and you will find satisfaction in Perspective' is so ethnocentricand full of propa- probability mentioned above). Mark one of look at the world you live in." The world I live all God has given you. ganda that it has no place in a newspaper repre- those dollar coins with an "X" and throw it back in speaks English, and in English, the singular is I am truly grateful that I know what beinga senting a University with such diverse religious into the pile. Stir the whole mass of coins across "woman" and the plural is "women". Is Noack Christian really means and now when I tell affiliations." Great work! Now let us apply this the state thoroughly. Now put on a blindfold and that insecure about the letters m-e-n that she people that I am a Christian — I really mean to some other columns... This 'Pink Ink' column walk in to Texas as far as you like and find that subconsciously avoids writing them? No, be- what I say! (read WymcnWords, cnGENDERed species, or marked dollar coin with only one attempt...The cause "men" is spelled correctly throughout. Katherine Black whatever) issogay-ccntricand full ofgay propa- chances of you doingso arc the same as those for ganda that it has no place in a newspaper repre- Jesus being who He was...And yet, HE WAS." senting a University with such diverse sexual With odds like that, what have you got to lose? affiliations." Get a life people. Once you start Check Him out. President Clinton and the coming down on any view and start to censor Darryl McWaters anyone, you leave it open to start a new "Cru- sade." (HA HA.) pursuit of the American vision Oh yeah, by the way, I'm the one that is "open minded" enough to Will we all be actually purchase KAPUR ]us package and the squeaking by of his and read Did Six Million Really Die. I don't give AMIT Cord plan led many towonder if a shit what anyone who hasn't read the book says Commentary deficit-reduction wou Id be a help or about it. I would much rather read the book for burned in Hell! It wasroughly a year ago that the CI inton the democratic Congress myself and then pass judgement. Don't juries era began. Some hailed it as a second a hindrance. usually hear the evidence before they give their Camelot, others feared it would ruin a coun- As time went on, however, you saw less verdict. Dear Editor: try. One thing that everyone agreed on. of a clumsy country bumpkin, and more of It is very nice that I live in a country where Quite frankly, I can't understand the Fish. There would be Change! a sophisticated politician willing to play the I am able to present my views without being What is this guy's point? Docs he mean to tell the Even from the first moments of his Washington-game to get the legislation he are shot. I hope the extremist left wing radicals general population ofLaurier that they going presidency, he tried to tackle some tough wanted. never achieve their because I to burn in hell no matter what they do? That the to "Utopian" agenda, issues. In dealing with thcGays-in-the-mili- He understood that he would have do like my freedom. I hope Samuel Morrison, world's population is doomed to a firey eternity tary issue, he took on the military and Con- match wits with political minds that had Andic Noack et al, Jim Boyce, DenyS DaviS and of torment by rejects from the cast of Hellraiser? establishments many been around for a lot longer than he had and whoever else continue to be presented in the Frankly, I don't think that equal time is gressional (including to use all the dirty tricks and CORD whether I agree with them or not. If lam being given to my religion. I believe in ridicul- members of his own party). His face-saving would have that made Washington to attack a view, I am certainly not about to resort ing religious fanatics who come to my door. I compromise wasn't so much a change of his political pressure has to demanding that the person be pulled from the believe in sending torrents of derisive laughter position, but more of an indication of how D.C. famous. paper. toward those who profess a direct connection he tried to use power that he didn't have. For example, the battle over NAFTA I hope some of you left-wingers out there with ANY god. Again, with Bosnia, he was prevented showed him at the peak of his deal-making stop and actually thinkabout what your political Ordinarily, I don't bother responding to from implementing his plan of bringing abilities, as he opened up the US Treasury to religious extremists who seem intent on damn- think goals really are. peace to the area with the force of air strikes. push the deal through. Many might Smyth ing the world to a firely death, but frankly, the Ryan European countries showed their displeas- what he did was wrong, but he simply used Fish is going a bit far. think that everyone who I ure with peace-keepers in the powers of his presidency to lead the wants to sec these bastards fry in hell should start (especially those was nation. In other words, he did his job. pushing a petition to have his soul fry in the firey depths the region) and in the end, again nothing Fish not over is- south of heaven should email me. We'll have our done. While many fights economic of his Dear Editor: revenge yet. Come to think of it, the first part of his sues arc over, there still remain some care I am a Christian, and I have encountered Jim Laird year in office wasn't really anything to write most difficult fights ahead. His health many a situation where my beliefs were ada- PS. Christians 0, Lions 7 - Rah Rah Rah. home about. The death of his budget-stimu- Continued on page 25 THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994 COMMENT 25 Thoughts on Lorena SCOTT MCKAY He is not guilty either. After being ques- ciety pounded into his head, but he still did criminal but just temporarily insane. "Oh, Cord Commentary tioned in a court of law the decision was that it. Obviously he was not working with a full excuse me. I did not mean to stab you in the The recent court proceedings and finale he did not sexually assault her. So actually, deck either. Is he guilty? He pulled the face, I was thinking about something that of the Lorena Bobbit trial has prompted me to revise her verdict as need be, she is "not trigger. Of course he is. No one would ever was bothering me. Forgive me please." to question the justice system of the United guilty by reason of being insane for no doubt this. We hear our civil leaders talking about States, and for that matter, the society of the reason at all". All we arc left with then is the If some people arc allowed to get away a fair justice system. A contradiction in entire Western World. penis on the side of the road that she put with violent crimes against other people, terms I say. If a person cannot be responsi- The not guilty by reason of insanity may there because she went crazy over some- regardless of who they are or what they did, ble for their actions regardless of their men- be just. Obviously the people of the jury thing that did not happen. The "World's what does this say about our society. A tal state or what the syndrome of the day seem to think so. But 1 do have to question Police Force's" justice system contradicts double standard seems to shine through happens to be then how can that be fair and the validity of the verdict. Mrs. Bobbit and itself in front of the whole world. quite clearly. If a criminal can cause peo- just for all? All our actions arc a direct her lawyer revealed a time in her life which I believe that she was in a mental state ple's hearts to open to them because of some response ofour mental activity. Who are we was a living hell. Living with an asshole that that caused her to act without considering sob story, suddenly they are no longer a to say if they are rational or warranted? liked to have unwanted sex. A leech that the outcome or the seriousness of her ac- bounced between jobs and provided little tions. However, I cannot help paralleling money if any to the household of which she this to other crimes were a person acts with- was the primary supporter. The end result out considering their actions. Imagine if you was the removal of Mr. Bobbit's penis by a will, a man that loses his wife to another Is nothing sacred? less than surgical method that only the Gal- man, his job and his house all within two loping Gourmet could appreciate. months. Feeling a little down and alone the I certainly do not doubt the fact that she wounds of fate are temporarily eased by the was indeed in a state where clear, rational use of alcohol. He hops behind the wheel, TODD SIMPSON would be game over... at least for a little thought was difficult if not impossible as a not considering the possible outcome of his Cord Commentary while. Or if he's going away on a holiday result of living with this hell. The fact that actions, and gets charged and convicted of A penis. It can be a wonderful thing. and you're worried he might cheat... but I she held on to his kabosa till she was in the impaired driving. A federal offense that not Sure, it has its ups and downs but be nice to digress. car and then whipped it out the window only provides him with a criminal record, it and it will always be nice to you. Abuse it Regardless of the circumstances, no man would suggest that her thought patterns were but decreases his employability due to the and lose it. Just ask Lorena Bobbit. Here's a deserves thefate that has befallen Mr. Bobbit. somewhat skewed. To me this would sug- lack of transportation. This man did not woman who definitely believes in attacking True, men sometimes do think with their gest that maybe she was trying to "get away" consider his actions cither as a result of the root of her problems. This whole display penis and not their brain. It's also true that with the crime and hope it would go unno- mental instability. And it was not even con- of si ice and dice gives a whole new meaning some men only have a penis for a brain. Still, ticed if she could hide the evidence! Obvi- sidered that he might not be guilt by reason to the say ing"reach out and touch someone" it's hard to condone Lorena's actions. She ously her actions were not a product of of insanity. (True story) and, at the same time, begs the question has said that she was simply striking out at rational thought. We could take this a little farther. Hitler "what is happening to society?" Just think, the thing that brought her harm but is it not What it comes down to is the fact that had syphilis which is known to cause insan- somewhere out there ex-Lorena Bobbit boy- the man who is guilty and not the penis? she did slice the boy. She docs not deny this. ity. Is he not guilty by reason of insanity? friends are letting out a quiet, nervous sigh When a person is shot do they go after the She claims during her trial not to remember Mark Lapiene was put in a situation that he ofrelief with one hand firmly clutching their gun for revenge or the person doing the the chopping incident, but during his sexual could no longer deal with so he acted out in "willy", perhaps adding a stroke of reassur- shooting? The gun is just an instrument assault trial she did seem to find that infor- a way that he thought would solve his prob- ance. which stands up for a cause. In Lorena's mation useful, excuse me, I mean available. lems. His actions go against everything so- Of course it's easy to blame Lorena but case a good swift kick in the pallini's would to be fair, although I can't help but feel that have been more than sufficient if Lorena ol' John Wayne got the short end of the had wanted to bring Mr. Bobbit down to size Clinton has fulfilled his stick. We don't really know what kind of but oh no, Lorena chose to go for the Ginsu. relationship these two had. John Wayne It will be interesting to see the outcome Bobbitcould very well be a complete asshole. of this trial but a word of warning to the promise to push for change There is that "snake in the grass" feel to him judge: acquitting Lorena "the slasher" Bobbit Continued from page 24 happy with his first year in office. Despite and he docs seem a bit reptilian. might set a dangerous precedent. Who packagc has only been barely debated, and some of the political defeats and embarrass- Unfortunately, especially in Mr. knows, instead of packing mace your next foreign policy is now requiring more and ments, he fulfilled his promise to push for Bobbit's case, men do not possess certain date may be packing her Wilshire Stay Sharp. more of his time. And not to add to his change. Now that the easy part, thinking of reptilian-like powers. You know, like the And you know what they say... give 'em an troubles, he now has an independent coun- change, is over, he must do the difficult part one where if you grab a reptile by the tail, it inch...

sel trailing after him, trying to find the - make the change. Only then will he be able falls off and a new one grows back. It's a Editor's note: Since the writing of this answers to the Whitewater scandal. to create the vision of the United States that cool idea though isn't it? I mean if the article, Lorena Bobbit has been aquitted of In retrospect, I think Clinton would be he and a majority of Americans share. boyfriend's being a jerk one swift tug and it all the charges against her. Cord Feedback CEREBELLA by Ryan Feeley A selection of the last week's comments from the Cord Feedback booth in the Concourse every Thursday.

From issue #19

Terry G: It's not easy being Green, I hope thatSamuel Morrison doesn't but I'm sure it's harder writing that burn his feet too badly standing on drivel. that insolent fire and brimstone plat- Brent McCombs form he so devoutly espouses. I like the replacement name for Bag O'

Front page - it would be nice if wc Crime (being faculty, it took me a knew what these photos were of. couple of weeks to get it!) Scott Starra Gord Wood

Read Dave Trickcr's presidential I like the purple cover, as well as platform and had a chance to dis- Sean Wilde's eloquent poetry. cuss them with Dave. He's a very Hugh MacPhie solid candidate. Anxious to hear why Jim Lowe didn'tconsider him. Sean Wilde, can I be the president of Toby O'Hara your fan club? Oh ya... you owe me money.

Scott King - you don't like some- Matt Seguin thing that was written in the Cord? 1 thought that they had the right to I believe Bigioni's platform out- offend everyone equally. lines his leadership, experience, and Ryan Balzamo commitment, and not Jim Lowe's assumed elitist attitude. Samuel Morrison -1 find you both Jennifer Marr insulting and disturbing. Accord- ing to your standards I am going to Scott McCormick's a no-shit guy. hell. Tell ya what - I'll hold a scat He's got my vote. for you. Gary Fast Scott MacGregor 26 COMMENT THE CORD Thursday, February 3, 1994

sexist. Feel free to argue this point amongst ty's. WOMENWORDS yourselves. Perhaps Christ is only a moral teacher as the Jews believe. Perhaps Christ is only by members of the Women's Centre Exhibit B: I stayed up late one night to FISH a social revolutionary, or perhaps a mad- watch that "Too Much For Much" show on BY SAMUEL MORRISON man. Actually, any alternative explanation Much Music. Yes, obviously I have no life. of Christ matters little after his claim of by BETH HAYDL Anyway, they have those slidy things and A Christian Perspective divinity is abandoned. when the audience members see some- All religions believe that they are the Rejecting all other religions and ac- Exhibit A: On the back cover of Ms. maga- thing offensive in a video, they push the most true. All believe that they point most cepting only Christianity as the most true is zine is a monthly photo section. It features button up. At the end you see a graph clearly the way to God or to some other notclosedmindedness. Indeed,sinceChrist advertisements, running in other publica- showing what specific images the audi- ultimate reality. died for all mankind everywhere, all men tions, that are so blatantly sexist that they ence was generally disturbed by. However, because religious claims con- have equal opportunity to attain salvation. require no editorial comment. In every video, no matter what, when- flict, all claims cannot be accepted as true. Men everywhere should rejoice and thank This month, there are four ads on the ever a woman was shown on screen, For instance, the Koran places Christ in a God that a way to heaven exists. page. Two of them are just plain mean and whether she was dancing, singing, smok- lowerringof heaven than theirown prophet. Since Christ is indeed the God of his towards hateful women. Another one is ing a joint, whatever, the graph went up. While Muslims do not believe that Christ is claims, the way to heaven lays exactly and

- a scary picture of a woman with the That's scary. People arc no longer making God, Christians cannot believe otherwise. only as he claimed. According to Christ, a internals of a fax machine plugged into her a distinction between hateful images of Which view is true? person enters heaven only if their sins are eyes, cars, and mouth. I don't think it's women and positive ones. They're just Perhaps Christ is an incarnation of God, forgiven. Forgiveness comes only when particularly sexist, it's justbrutal and weird- offended when they sec women. I call that but not God himself. Hinduism believes accepting that Christ died to forgive men looking. It'll probably win an award. sexist. that Christ is a divine incarnation, but does their sins. Either Christ is God or is not. But my real problem is with the last ad. not accept that Christ is the complete deity There is no middle-ground. A woman is sitting, reading a book. Her Exhibit C: Th e common definition of por- of God embodied. Instead, Christ is only People who claim that one should be dress is pulled off one shoulder. A man is nography used by anti-porn feminists in- one of many incarnations. Who is right? objective in their acceptance of all reli- standing behind her with his hand on her cludes the concept of degrading depictions In addition, Hinduism is a pantheistic gions, do not understand the necessary breast. of women. Mainstream girlie mags that religion; it believes that all things every- contradiction in their claim. Even when Call me crazy, but I don't find this ad display picturesofwomen havingsex with where are God. Judaism, Christianity and religions oppose each other on the nature offensive. It looks nice. He's not hurting each other arc often placed in this cat- Islam are not pantheistic religions. Instead, of God, objectivity implies that both views her, she looks happy, he's just touching her egory. they believe in a Creator separate and not are accurate, but opposing views arc con- gently - what's wrong with that? Why is Now, ifthewomcnaren't hurtingeach inhabiting the essence ofthe material world. tradictory and therefore cannot be given that sexist? other, just making each other feel good, Clearly, they cannot both be correct. God equal credcnce. 1 don't think it's right to use sexuality why is it degrading? Is it because it's in the cannot exist and not exist simultaneously in Also, God decides how his created to sell stuff. I also don't think it's good to context of a "men's" magazine? Well, men the very substance of life and being. Which world is to join in fellowship with him. use love, pain, or pathos to make money. can buy On Our Backs (lesbian sex maga- view is true? God makes the rules; he is not obliged to No form of human emotion should be zine) and whack off with that just as easily Furthermore, Jewish peoples reject that accept all of man's invented religions no commercialized. But almost all advertis- as with Hustler. Is it because the women Christ is God and their long-awaited Mes- matter how advanced. Therefore, the com- ing is exploitative. It's the capitalist sys- have bad hair and tan lines and too much siah. Again, either Christ is God or he is plexity of other religions matters little be- tem. makeup? Hmmm. not. Both cannot be true. Are the Jews cause God has already outlined the correct Plenty of ads genuinely exploit wom- correct? way to obtain salvation through the blood- en's sexuality to sell beer or cars to men. Summation: Sexism isdisgusting. Naked, The truth of all religious claims are sacrifice of Christ. But not every ad with a woman in it is sexy women are not. Learn to sec the evaluated upon the deity of Christ. If Christ Now answer the question: Who is this sexist. And not every ad with sex in it is difference. is not God, then perhaps another religion man Jesus? How you answer does indeed holds a more accurate view than Christiani- matter. An agnostic perspective

JASON GILMORE perspective claims that suffcringbegan when relieve suffering, you need to understand religions are largely 'prescriptions' (don't Cord Commentary— Eve took that serpent's advice bit / bad and that objects can be used, but also must be read too much into this word) for how we I'veconga'ed with the Christians, jived into that apple. Egads, we're naked! Worse released. Making use of what you do not can deal with problems that everyone faces. with the Jews, do-wopped with the Taoists, than that, there is good and evil, a world of havebringsyou closertobeingfully human. Secondly, each person should be free to be-bopped with the Buddhists and I've opposites! Losing favour with God, we are Mysticism is found in many religions, but decide which religion (or non-religion) helps mamba'ed with the mystics. Yup, that's me. all doomed to suffer. The basic remedy is to can also stand on its own. Suffering is a them deal with everyday living the best. What am I rambling on about, you ask? I've accept God and his mysterious ways if you result of losing or forgetting our connection Thirdly, there is no room for fundamental- dccided to offer Cord readers a fresh and follow Judaism, or to accept that Christ as with the One (which differs from religion to ism. Tosay that yourreligion istherightone constructive view of livingreligiously in the your saviour if you are a Christian. 'Bridg- religion). Finding out the proper way to for everyone, other religions are wrong, or world of today. You aren't going to get any ing the gap' that we have created reunites us reconnect causes our suffering to fade away. by not converting, something bad will hap- dogma or preaching from me, and I will with eternity and suffering melts away. The traditional path for humanist mystics pen is simply wrong to claim. It reeks of ncverfocuson any one religion in a negative The Buddhists also talk a great deal (for example) is to realize that although we dogma and supremacist thinking. What I manner. All the religions I listed above are about suffering. The main cause is said to be are individuals, there is a common bond, a have shown above is that no one religion is some of the religions 1 truly respect and fixations with worldly objects. When we transcendental Self that unites us all. better than any other; just different in its admire, but I don't wholly embrace any of lose something that we thought was ours, we So what am 1 trying to tell you here? approach to life. If this isn't obvious, 1 hope them. Am 1 'indifferent' (as another writer feel an emptiness. This is a vicious cycle of First of all, it seems to me that different you arc just misinterpreting your doctrine. may claim)? I don't think so. It's more like repetition. Only by following the Eightfold I'm aware of the basics that they all talk Path towards Nirvana can we be free from about. What's this? Common bonds be- suffering, said Guatama Buddha. What this tween many of humanities' religions?! Yep. basically involves is renouncing these fixa- Dudes for Thought If you decide to keep on reading, I'm going tions and instead enjoy the peace that re- to talk about common problems from differ- sults. Only then arc we free from suffering. ent religious perspectives. While I won't be Taoism and mysticism also talk about RAHUL RAJ AND my friend is democracy. nitty-gritty accurate, I hope I can represent suffering, and they reflcct common views HUGH MacPHIE How easy would it be to fool the entire am Cord Commentary human race? each view fairly. Remember, I not here held by followers of the religions mentioned / to bash but to explain. above. Taoism isn't a religion per se, but If you were a green wall in the cord What if 1 were to convince all members a Today I would like to talk about the age rather just a description of how to live a office you would witness utterborcdomas of the KKK that their vision was actually old problem called "human suffering". fulfilling human life (not that religions don't student writers ride the roller coaster of real negation, and therefore in the eyes of higher Maybe you have experienced it sometime. talk about this). Suffering occurs when you world emotions in order to invoke totally beings whose sight was unblemished, they (Yes, that's sarcasm; lighten up!) What's it lose your connection with the natural flow opposite emotions in you. were actually dark skinned. Would they go all about, and how can we get rid of it? I've of things and instead become fixated or Speech kills thought, as words can never around lynching themselves? come to understand that the Judeo-Christian obsessed with objects and possessions. To do justice to your thoughts. Docs society consider Einstein a genius simply because no one could understand What does it take to make a person famous? what the hell he was talking about? 1/4 cup of luck Everyone accels at something, and thus 1/4 cup of ravishing beauty sometimes they are considered experts be- The Vocal Cord 1/4 cup of the ability to bullshit cause of their abilities. The problem arises 1/4 cup of regret because it is extremely difficult to deter- is on vacation dee to the libellous nature of mine what exactly you acccl at. Hopefully If North America was to have a wall of it won't take an expert to tell you what you the responses that we received. This should democracy just as Berlin had the Berlin are good at, because that could take a very wall, what exactly would it consist of? long time, and then you would be fucked. teach the Editor-in-Chief not to miss a staff What if 51% of the population thought Chances are you are reading this be- that building this wall was absolutely ri- cause a: it is short b: it is in bullets and thus meeting! diculous, would it still be built? It doesn't easier to read and c: it is available on audio matter, it would be built anyways and that cassette in case you arc too busy to read. THE CORD Thursday, February 3,1994 CLASSIFIEDS 27

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