Grieving Community Transforms Dinner Into Joyous Honoring of Boy's Life
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The Jewish Star Independent and original reporting from the Orthodox communities of Long Island VOL. 8, NO. 10 MARCH 5, 2009 | 10 ADAR 5769 CLOWNING AROUND TIME TO SPRING AHEAD HAPPY PURIM! Turn your clocks forward Lev Leytzan honors local volunteers this Sunday and change Page 3 your smoke detector batteries FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BENCH Grieving community transforms dinner Perceiving into joyous honoring of boy’s life BY DOVID ZAKLIKOWSKI might have been no event at all. Some wanted to cancel, while others spoke of our potential More than 500 people packed the postponing the affair to some time after banquet hall of the Sephardic Temple in Shloshim, the traditional 30-day mourn- Cedarhurst for the annual dinner of the ing period. But the Wolowiks would Chabad of the Five Towns, but the cou- have none of it, and sent a note to the BY DAVID SEIDEMANN ple who has worked tirelessly for almost community urging everyone’s participa- 15 years to strengthen Jewish life in Nas- tion. e sat around the table, the rab- sau County, Rabbi Zalman and Chanie “I did not feel I would be able to cel- bis, three of them, the maybe Wolowik, was noticeably missing. ebrate,” related Tamar Pewzner, one of soon to be ex-husband, the The Wolowiks were observing shiva the evening’s honorees. W maybe soon to be ex-wife, for their nine-year-old son Levi, who had “We were all trying to push it off or myself and a few other family members Photo by Yosef Lewis tragically passed away just two nights to cancel it,” echoed Debbie Werner, and friends there to lend support. Could Just hours after the burial of nine-year-old Levi Yitzchak Wolowik, stunned supporters before. another honoree. “People were saying this marriage be saved, the relationship of Chabad of the Five Towns entered a banquet hall for the center’s 14th-annual dinner If the March 1 dinner’s organizers they weren’t in the mood, that they and honorees had had their way, there repaired? to honor the wishes of their beloved rabbi and rebbetzin. See GRIEVING, Page 9 At one point during the dialogue, the wife remarked, “We are at this point because you con- stantly have been asking me to be Helping classmates someone I am Eliezer Project expanding not.” “Not true,” Fund raising planned for West Hempstead and Oceanside cope with tragedy said the husband. “All I have been BY YAFFI SPODEK servicing close to 80 clients, ment, “so we are reaching out to Flu was the apparent cause of death doing over the last unemployed heads of household explain what kinds of things we few years was to With the recession deepening throughout the Five Towns and do and to try to raise money from BY MAYER FERTIG ask you to be the and a seemingly ever-increasing Far Rockaway. community members there.” ”When At a parlor meeting later this Volunteers from the Five person I know you number of jobs being lost, the When word got out Saturday night of the shocking month, members of The Eliezer Towns and Far Rockaway offer G-d takes a could be.” Cedarhurst-based Eliezer Project loss of Levi Yitzchok Wolowick, administrators of Yeshiva Project will visit West Hempstead professional, financial and legal Silence per- –– a not-for profit that is helping Darchei Torah, where he was a fourth grader, had to pre- to explain their mission and out- advice to clients of The Eliezer child, that child meated the room. families weather the economic cri- pare their staff and their students to deal with his death. line the different services that they Project. Aronovitz hopes that peo- No one spoke, no sis –– is expanding to meet Rabbi Dovid Morgenstern, the menahel of the fourth would not have provide. There are plans to host a ple from West Hempstead and one moved. All of requests for help from people in and fifth grades, himself a trained grief counselor, said the similar meeting in Oceanside in other communities will follow suit. been taken us, as I discovered nearby communities who are also yeshiva immediately sought guidance from Chai Lifeline’s the coming weeks. Over the weekend of March in subsequent struggling to make ends meet. bereavement and crisis intervention team, led by Dr. Nor- unless that “We’ve had numerous clients 6-7, shuls in the Five Towns and conversations, felt Since its inception several man Blumenthal and Mrs. from West Hempstead come to us Far Rockaway plan to conduct an immediate months ago, The Eliezer Project Zahava Farbman. child has for help and we are already servic- appeals for The Eliezer Project. rush of guilt and has grown from an ambitious idea Blumenthal met that ing them,” said Ellen Aronovitz, unequivocally shame about into a professional organization night with administrators the project’s director of employ- See ELIEZER, Page 7 completed his missing the mark, and teachers, Rabbi Morgen- as Rabbis, stern said. The next night or her task on lawyers, hus- “we had a meeting...in the bands, fathers, yeshiva for parents specifi- this Earth.“ sons and friends. REVIEW cally of the fourth grade,” The meeting actu- though it was open for all ally ended after who wished to attend. that remark When school because no one The Event really was big resumed on Tuesday follow- knew what to say afterwards. ing the snow storm, Dr. Blu- Sunday morning, a bris. Sunday BY MAYER FERTIG Photo courtesy Chabad.org Levi Yitzchok Wolowick a”h menthal, a psychologist, afternoon, a funeral for a nine-year-old and Mrs. Farbman, a boy. So which runs deeper, the joy of new The people who tried and failed to ruin the Lipa Schmeltzer concert billed as “The Event” licensed clinical social work- life or the pain of the loss of a life? There er, planned to spend the day at Darchei offering counseling. is no answer for one who doesn’t believe weren’t missed at the WaMu Theater at Madison Square Garden on Sunday night — but they Parents of children who don’t attend that yeshiva but in the potential of man, the concept of a who knew Levi or otherwise learn of his passing should Creator and the concept of an afterlife. missed some show. Producer Sheya Mendlowitz orchestrated a “not fish” for a reaction, Dr. Blumenthal advised. Life is measured in fulfillment of poten- “Don’t ask kids aggressively ‘are you sure you’re not tial, not in the counting of birthdays cele- nearly seamless blend of live performance, clever video clips, and surprise guests — including upset.’ Don’t tell your child how to respond. Respect who brated. The bris of an eight-day-old can your child is and how your child copes, like we would with be more depressing than the funeral of a Mordechai Ben David and Far Rockaway’s own Rabbi Boruch Chait — plus multiple costume adults,” he said. nine-year-old if we hold out little or no Also, he advised, “don’t give your child more informa- hope of that eight-day-old being nurtured changes — all presented without benefit of a live Photo by Shimon Gifter tion than they need. Don’t try to explain [Levi’s death] the- in an environment that will develop his master of ceremonies, usually an omission that Lipa Schmeltzer, joined by Mordechai Ben David, ologically or medically if they’re not asking.” potential. invites disaster, at least in my opinion, but certain- ly not in this case. (Note to concert promoters: if onstage at the WaMu Theater at MSG Sunday night. “There is no normal reaction to an abnormal situa- I am willing to listen to any dissent- tion,” Mrs. Farbman said. “Kids, like adults, will react differ- ing opinion from any Torah scholar but I your name isn’t Sheya Mendlowitz you probably can’t pull that off; get an M.C). — to a new generation: “Eilecho,” “Pischu Li,” “Ura ently. How children will react will also depend, in large believe as follows: G-d takes people who part, on their age.” are in their sixties, seventies and eighties The Event was billed as a tribute to the late Kevodi,” “Tzion Tzion,” “Ani Ma’amin,” “Toras Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum a”h and it was a nice one. Hashem Temimah,” which is familiar to many as a Preschoolers often act out their feelings in their play. “After the Chanukah Wonderland accident we had kids See VIEW, Page 5 Among his many accomplishments Rabbi Teitel- Simchat Torah standby, and a few more. baum produced the very successful Pirchei Boys In dark pants and white shirts, the choir playing crashes,” she said, “while “school-aged kids are very focused on the facts, the details, what happened, how David Seidemann is a partner with the Choir albums of the 1960s, and the show opened looked like the spitting image of what you’d imag- with the “new” Pirchei choir (actually the Yeshiva ine a Pirchei choir might look like. A man sitting it happened. They’ll listen to every rumor possible. You law firm of Seidemann & Mermelstein. want to be as clear as you can on their age level. In their He can be reached at (718) 692-1013 and Boys Choir enthusiastically led by Yossi Newman) next to me with binoculars turned out to be Jay at [email protected]. reintroducing Pirchei classics — as Pirchei songs See EVENT, Page 10 See COPING, Page 9 Only Simchas......................................................................2 Calendar...............................................................................6 Candlelighting: 5:34 p.m. ■ Shabbat ends: 6:35 p.m.