CASA of Cochise County News & Views

Abby Dodge - ADR/CASA Director Lissete Borbon - Program Manager

Phone: 432-7521 Fax: 432-7247 www.casaofarizona.org

Articles Features A Trip to the Past...... 3 Coordinator's Comments ...... 2 by Christine Cranmore, Cochise County CASA Volunteer Training Requirements!!...... 11 The Magic of Music...... 4 by the Hon Terry Bannon, Cochise Co Presiding Juvenile Judge The Village Closet...... 12

New Funding for Older Youth and Young Adults...... 5 CASA of the Month...... 13 by Karen Fasimpaur, Cochise County CASA Volunteer Kudos...... 14 Lunch at McDonalds...... 7 by Mary C Blanchard, Cochise County CASA Volunteer Anniversaries...... 15

Trying New Things - Part II...... 8 July Calendar...... 16 by Abby Dodge, Cochise County ADR/CASA Director Cochise County Council for CASA, Inc ...... 17 Further Adventures of My Favorite Couple...... 9 by Mary C Blanchard, Cochise County CASA Volunteer From the Manual Preparing Children and Youth for Adoption or Other Family Book Review...... 10 Permanency...... 18 by Abby Dodge, Cochise County ADR/CASA Director

Cochise County Newsletter July 2021 CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 2 Coordinator's Comments

end of July to coincide with back-to-school – but that doesn’t mean they can’t provide additional support to anyone who needs it.

Also, if you have any suggestions for where needs aren’t currently being met for our families, please send them my way. The Council is looking for ideas on how to get the money into the hands of those who really need it. And I’m looking for ways to do this without significantly increasing the workload of DCS as they are already understaffed and far too busy without us bothering them for addresses or additional information all the time. So please give this some thought and let me know if you have any ideas.

Other than that, nothing much is new to report. Cases keep coming in, Abby Dodge & Family so if anyone is looking for another case, let us know. Also be on the After such a rough 2020, 2021 seems to be flying by! I don’t know lookout for your mid-year training hours update; these will be coming about you guys, but I’m currently dreaming of cooler weather, or at straight to your CASAaz email inboxes in the first half of July. least some good thunderstorms. Or as my Dad would say, a good gully Remember, you’re required to complete 12 hours of in-service training washer. each year. Our monthly support group meetings count as training – and we’re back in person on our regular 4th Friday schedule! For now, In just a little over a month, kids will be returning to school, which is we’re meeting every 4th Friday from 12-1 at the conference room in rd hard to believe. I’ll have a 3 grader and a kindergartener this year, Sierra Vista. Because we’re meeting over the lunch hour, it’s a bring- which is super exciting. We’re all looking forward to the start of school, your-own-lunch kind of meeting. You don’t have to eat during the especially Caitlin! On that note – the youth that you’re working with will meeting, but I will be. We hope to see you on Friday, July 23rd for our also be returning to school soon. If they need school clothing, shoes, next meeting. backpacks, school supplies – anything to help them have a successful, enjoyable return-to-school, please reach out. The Cochise County I hope you’re all enjoying your summer! Council for CASA has funding available and would be thrilled to support the needs of your assigned children. They are planning to provide every child in the system with a $150 Walmart gift card at the CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 3

A Trip to the Past by Christine Cranmore, Cochise County CASA Volunteer

I was able to take my two kiddos to Tombstone on Memorial Day weekend. ~petted the horse (but NOT the mule),

~had an ice cream cone,

and had a superb time.

They had never been to Tombstone,

never seen a horse,

never petted a horse.

We walked the town, It was super fun!!

~saw the gunfight in the street (from a discreet distance),

~window-shopped some stores, Next big activity: celebrating a birthday!

~watched the people dressed like the What fun for all of us! 1800s,

~rode on the stagecoach, Photos from Internet: Google Images CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 4

The Magic of Music by the Honorable Terry Bannon, Cochise County Presiding Juvenile Judge Dear CASAs,

I am still in the process of moving. It’s been and is still, just awful. “Whole Lotta Stuff” (vs Whole Lotta Love) – Led Zeppelin for those not familiar with 70’s rock…is that even possible? How could that Several song and movie titles come to mind that sum up this whole be???). process. “The Way We Were”– Barbara Streisand. I wonder how I am going to feel after all my downsizing is done. “Yesterday” - The Beatles. Maybe I am over purging? Maybe I am not purging enough? Only “The Weight” – The Band. time will tell. But my gut tells me that I will be fine. “Stuck in the Middle” – some guy from the 70’s. So… “Should I Stay or Should I Go” – The Clash. “Free and Easy (Down the Road I Go)” – Dierks Bentley. “I’m not Gonna Take It” (vs We’re) - Twisted Sister.

“Gone with the Trash” (vs Gone with the Wind). J Bannon “For the Dump” vs Forest Gump. And finally,…“Help” – The Beatles. I have also made up a few song titles of my own that fit my moving situation. “How Can You Mend a Broken Vase” (vs Heart). “Let’s Get it Gone” (vs On). “Bye, Bye Stuff “ (vs Love). “Don’t Stop Discarding” (vs Believing). “Bohemian Rhapsody” – Queen (me referring to those pants I found that I love, love, love and just because Queen deserves a shout out!), and CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 5

New Funding for Older Youth and Young Adults by Karen Fasimpaur, Cochise County CASA Volunteer You’ve probably heard about the recent $900 billion in COVID portal. However, there are also CAA funds available to youth for stimulus relief that passed Congress and was signed into law in late whom postsecondary education was disrupted by COVID through the 2020, but did you know that $10.5 million in funding from the Education and Training Voucher (ETV) program. To apply for CAA Consolidated Appropriations Act (CAA) is for current and former ETV funds: foster youth between 14 and 26 in Arizona? • Submit an ETV Economic Needs Assessment to document The Supporting Foster Youth and Families Through the Pandemic your financial need. Act gives access to funds for youth who spent time in foster care after • Complete/update your ETV application. the age 14 who are now under age 27. • Complete a monthly budget. • If you owe a past due balance to school, send your bill to The CAA funding is being distributed through DCS, and a portion of it [email protected]. is being distributed through the Arizona Friends of Foster Children • If you are not currently in enrolled in school, ETV will assist Foundation (AFFCF). (Note that as a part of this, AFFCF will no you with developing a plan for your postsecondary education. longer fund other awards through their normal channels that are eligible to be funded by CAA.) Youth who exited foster care at age 21 as of January 27, 2020 until April 20, 2021 are also eligible to re-enter the Extended Foster Care Youth aged 14-26 in care can apply through AFFCF. For the AFFCF program until September 30, 2021. Youth will not be found ineligible portion of the funding, here are guidelines and here’s how to apply. for the Extended Foster Care program due to lack of education and Awards for youth up to age 26 are only available through 9/30/21. employment until September 30, 2021. Awards for youth up to age 21 are available through 9/30/22. (Note: If a youth is in extended foster care, they are not eligible to receive a If you have questions about this, email [email protected] CAA award through the AFFCF and will be referred to their case about eligibility or next steps. specialist.)

Youth already enrolled in the Education & Training Voucher program (ETV) are not eligible to receive a CAA award through the AFFCF ~Continued on next page~ CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 6

New Funding for Older Youth and Young Adults (Continued) CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 7 Lunch at McDonalds by Mary C. Blanchard, Cochise County CASA Volunteer

Deb Peterson and I are coCASAs. We stopped by for a quick visit with our girl in Tucson. It was too hot to go anywhere and walk around, so we stopped by McDonald’s for an early dinner. Cell phones are off limits during visits, but our girl wanted to show us a trick she had learned to do on my Android.

It required her to take a picture of each of us and then decorate it using some app I know nothing about. I asked her how to do it when I talked to her on the phone last night, but it was way too technical for me, so I told her she could teach Deb and me how to do it on our next visit. CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 8 Trying New Things - Part II by Abby Dodge, Cochise County ADR/CASA Director

Some of you may remember how I wrote about my family’s endeavor cherries. It might sound weird that it took us until June 2021 to have cherries, but due to some not-so-fond memories of cherry picking in to try new fruit that we began at the onset of the pandemic (it was in Door County, Wisconsin followed by days of pitting cherries in my the May 2020 edition of this newsletter, to be exact). Anyway, since parents’ basement as a child (my mother remembers this experience we’ve been at this project for over a year now, I thought I’d give a little differently than I do), I never buy them… Since Tom reminded me that update. the kids had likely never had fresh cherries, we had to remedy that. First, we have tried so many different varieties of fruit. It’s been an And as you can see, Emily was not thrilled! However, overall, this whole experience has been a huge success and I highly recommend incredible experience! Unfortunately, it’s become a struggle to find trying it for yourselves! anything that is new to us anymore, but I still find myself scouring the produce department any time I’m at the store. Second, it’s been so much fun to watch my three children grow and enjoy this experience – and their personalities have changed a bit since last time I wrote about this… which makes sense, since it’s been an entire year.

Ethan has been my constant throughout this experience. He still has enjoyed basically every fruit except passionfruit, and his favorite remains any type of dragon fruit – we are now the proud owners of a dragon fruit plant at home even. The question remains as to whether I’ll be able to keep it alive, but so far so good!

Caitlin was my most selective child when I last wrote – however, looking back, she’s never refused to try anything. She may not like a lot of the weird fruit, but her willingness to give it a shot is amazing. She even caught me off guard at a Chinese buffet in Phoenix recently when she tried a baby octopus without hesitation. She just bit off a couple tentacles and then declared, “it’s a little too spicy for me!” but I absolutely love how adventurous she can be. Then there’s Emily… Emily started this endeavor eager to try any fruit offered to her. For the most part, she tried them all. Until we had CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 9 Further Adventures of My Favorite Couple by Mary C. Blanchard, Cochise County CASA Volunteer Two swallows are my favorite couple. In the May issue of The CASA Newsletter, my couple chose a beam under my entry way to stake a claim for their nest. They were just beginning to build their nest when they were chased off by a bigger and stronger species of swallow. This intruder attracted a mate, and they took over building their nest in the same spot.

I was so upset I pretty much ignored the intruders and nature in general. The nest was almost finished and somehow the previous couple managed to reclaim the territory. I am not sure exactly how this happened, but my daughter-in-law told me my couple had returned.

My faith in happy endings was restored. I began to observe them again. It took what seemed to be forever before there was any sign of eggs. Then the endless sitting on the eggs took place, and now there are three baby birds. They now are big enough for me to see three mouths endlessly open to be fed. The parents are bustling back and forth feeding hungry babies. They are diligent about taking care of their babies. In short, they are excellent parents.

We work with parents, and we work with kids. I was wrong to give up on nature when I didn’t get my way. Fortunately, as a CASA, I made a vow never to give up on a case, and I firmly believe that parents who do what they need to do to get their kids back deserve a second chance. I have never left a case, and I am delighted when a parent/s fulfill the requirements of their case plan and reunification takes place. CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 10 Book Review By Abby Dodge, Cochise County ADR/CASA Director

Maid different kinds of government assistance to survive.” To survive. Not to thrive… Just to survive. By Stephanie Land This was eye-opening to me. I know that our government assistance 2019 Memoir programs are flawed, at best… But I didn’t really consider how difficult it can 268 Pages (2.5 hours of training credit) be for someone to become self-sufficient without these programs. If an individual increases their income, even marginally, they lose some of that I purchased this book from Amazon after seeing it listed on assistance. It makes it difficult if not impossible to improve one’s situation, let one of National CASA’s book lists. The Cochise County alone save any money for emergencies. Stephanie also addresses the feeling Library District does have the electronic of judgment that she endured by receiving version of the book, but I’ll be honest, I’ve assistance. This part hit home for me, as I can never tried accessing their e-books, so I don’t vividly remember working at a grocery store at 16 know how easy it is. and seeing this family come in very regularly and I think this is one of my favorite books I’ve purchasing prepared foods from the deli each time. read so far from the National CASA book lists. I remember thinking to myself how it seemed wrong It was both interesting and enlightening, as that their food stamps would cover convenience well as being an easy read. foods. But I knew nothing of their situation – maybe they never learned how to cook. Maybe they work This memoir follows a young mother who really hard for minimal money and have no energy became pregnant unexpectedly with a man left to cook. Maybe that was just what they enjoyed who wasn’t really ready to be or cut out to be eating. Regardless, who was I to judge? a father. The mother, Stephanie, determined to do whatever she could to keep and support I thought that this book provided a lot of insight into her baby. the challenges that people hovering around the poverty line face. This young mother managed to Stephanie found work cleaning houses, keep her child out of the child welfare system working for a cleaning company for minimum through her hard work and determination. Not wage and taking on any additional clients she everyone is that fortunate. This is a really good could get on her own. She relied heavily on read; I highly recommend it! If you’d like to borrow government assistance to make ends meet my copy, just let me know. and one statement from the book really stood out to me. Stephanie said, “I needed seven CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 11 Training Requirements!! By Abby Dodge, Cochise County ADR/CASA Director

As of today, 35% of our advocates have fulfilled their training requirement for 2021. Another 18% are at least past the halfway point… If those 18% complete their CASAs who have reported remaining hours we’ll be at 53%... less than 6 hours of training for 2021:

Iris Almazan CASAs who have completed at Stephanie Boone CASAs who have completed at least 12 hours of training so far Jim Cleveland least half of their training for in 2021: Jo Anna Cormier 2021: Jen Dorris Juanita Adamson Emily Duchon Dora Cleveland Mike Beam Ellie Mae Frakes Kathi Douglas Mary Blanchard Manuela Henderson Tina Gudvangen Heather Carter Lori Kilpatrick Deb Peterson Joanne Coppola Holly LaBombard Julie Pieron Chris Cranmore Arian Lee Karen Reed Mellyora Crawford Misty Lumberry Dana Sasarita Jan Dragoo Carolyn Malik Bud Dragoo Scott Thompson Carol Welsh Julia McCaa Karen Fasimpaur Marissa Meraz Mary Kay Holcomb Sara Nolan Jennifer Liebertz Bill Nolan Darla Parker Krista Ochs Eric Petermann Lori Rolan Alison Vigil Johanna Scott Jenn Wantz Alisha Stirling Monica Whitlock Cheryl Tomlinson Michelle Wilson LuRue Troyer Lin Wright CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 12

Available now: Bisbee: Call Cheryl anytime (520) 234-8881. Someone will meet DCS Case Managers with clothing items at an agreed-upon location anywhere in Cochise County. Most sizes are available; less selection and supply in sizes 5 The Village Closet through teens.

Sierra Vista: What is Needed: Call LuRue Troyer (520-266-9409) between the hours of 8:00am and 10:00pm for pickup during those hours, or other Pullups - Sizes 2T, 3T, 4T, 5T times can be arranged ahead of time. Pajamas - Sizes 2T on up to Size 14 Duffel bags with a few basic clothing items for... Children's Books - All ages Boys: Size 8 and Size 10 Girls: Girls Size 3T, Size 4T, and Size 8 Small toiletries (toothbrush, comb, etc) Plastic boxes with basic items for... Except for toiletries, gently used articles are gratefully Boy Preemie accepted Boy -- 0 to 3 months Newborn Girl Girl -- 0 to 3 months If you have donations, ideas or are willing to help in any way, please call Cheryl Tomlinson Needed! at (520) 234-8881 or email [email protected] People in Benson and Douglas who can store and distribute boxes Please mention The Village Closet to your DCS Case Managers so and bags!! that they are aware of what is available to them. We are contacting the DCS Investigators as well. CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 13 CASA of the Month Chris Cranmore

The CASA of the Month for June 2021 is Chris Cranmore!

Chris is a pretty brand-new CASA, but she has really hit the ground running. She was appointed to her first case in May, but you’d never know it by talking to her.

Chris was fortunate enough to end up taking the case that she observed during courtroom observation, so she has been part of the team since the very beginning. She has quickly developed a relationship with the girls and the placement and has made sure to make experiences memorable for the girls.

She found out that the girls she’s working with have never been to Tombstone, so she planned a day for them, even ordering cute cowboy hats from Amazon beforehand so they could really get a feel for the Tombstone experience. She also ensured that the older girl, who turned 13 this month, had an amazing birthday.

Chris came to us with a background as a foster parent, so she didn’t come into this blindly. She’s picked up all the computer/paperwork aspects of the CASA role with no issues, and she’s just a joy to work with.

Thank you, Chris, for all you’ve done so far, and keep up the great work!

June 2021 CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 14

Chris Cranmore Email from DCS Case Specialist I wanted to express my thanks for all you do for the W sisters. I appreciate your organizing K’s birthday party at Peter Piper Pizza. She is so happy.

Mellyora Crawford Kudos! FCRB, 5/18/21 The Board thanks the Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for her support of M.

Julie Pieron MEO, 6/10/21 The Court thanked Ms. Pieron for her participation as CASA in this matter.

From the CASA Staff:

Mary Blanchard Mary continues to go above and beyond in supporting other advocates while still remaining active on her cases. We couldn’t do this without you, Mary!

Cheryl Tomlinson, LuRue Troyer, Karen Fasimpaur, and others? Cheryl thought up the idea for the Village Closet, and LuRue and Karen have both been helping with this project in various ways – as I’m sure others of you have as well. Starting a project like this from scratch is a lot of work, but we cannot wait to see the Village Closet in action!

Holly LaBombard Holly did not hesitate to accept reappointment to her CASA youth she worked with previously. We love being able to provide a youth who is reentering the system with a familiar CASA, especially one who cares as much as Holly!

Mary Kay Holcomb Mary Kay worked tirelessly to ensure that one of her assigned kiddos ended up moved from a group home to a local foster/adoptive placement. She brought the foster family up to the Phoenix area to assist with moving the child and has been there for the child every step of the way. Great work, Mary Kay! CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 15 Anniversaries

July

Lin Wright Since 7/13/2015 - 6 years

Misty Lumberry Since 7/13/2018 - 3 years

Michelle Wilson Since 7/30/2020 - 1 year CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 16 July 2021 SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY → 7/29/21 Reports Due: 1 2 I Forgot Day 3 Monica: OP Juanita: MB Alison: CDLC Mary/Debra: DV Lin: L/M Darla: P P-S Reviews 4 Independence 5 Mellyora: 6 7 Julia M. 8 9 Sugar Cookie 10 Day Report due for Day DA. Monica: Report due for MC.

County Offices Closed 11 12 13 Lori K: Report 14 15 Dora C. 16 17 Emoji Day due for DR.

18 Karen F. 19 Jennifer L: 20 Darla: Report 21 22 Heather C: 23 24 Cousins Day Report due for due for T case. Report due for JS. MJ.

25 Culinarians 26 27 Mellyora: 28 29 Ellie F. 30 National 31 Day Report due for Cheesecake Day DA.

Arian L. P-S Reviews ↑

Calendar created by Lissete Borbon, Program Manager, Cochise County CASA Program CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 17

Evening: Last Tuesday of Month 6:30 - 8:30pm

Home of LuRue Troyer

2300 Iris Drive Sierra Vista, AZ

Page created by Lissete Borbon, Program Manager, Cochise County CASA Program CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 18 From the Manual

Preparing Children and Youth for Adoption or Other Family Permanency

2020 Publication from the Child Welfare Information Gateway. • Loss and grief. The loss of a parent can be one of the most significant losses a child will ever experience. Children who are placed Children, including youth, leaving out-of-home care for adoption or in the child welfare system may have complex histories of loss and other family permanency require preparation and support to help them unresolved grief. The loss of a parent—temporary or permanent—can understand past events in their lives and process feelings connected have a profound impact on a child, even if he or she was removed to their experiences of abuse and neglect, separation, and loss. They from the home as a result of a parent's maltreatment (National may be challenged by new surroundings and need to affirm their own Adoption Competency Mental Health Training Initiative [NTI], 2019). In identity and allow themselves to create new or different relationships addition to the loss of their parents upon removal from the home, they with their birth and adoptive families as well as others. Achieving also may experience the loss of siblings, friends, supportive adults, permanency is not just an outcome for these children; it is a process. classmates, pets, familiar surroundings, cultural connections, and more. Each subsequent placement transition could also lead to This bulletin will help child welfare professionals better understand the additional losses. Children experiencing loss may exhibit fears of feelings and emotions children may experience regarding abandonment, lack of trust, and issues of holding on and letting go permanency and prepare them for placements with permanent (NTI, 2019). families. Its focus is on adoption, but much of the information is also applicable to children with other permanency goals, such as kinship • Uncertainty and confusion. Many children are left to wonder care or guardianship. about the circumstances that brought them into care, why their families may not be able to continue caring for them, and who will be there to take care of them and protect them. A child may experience UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN'S EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS anger, sadness, and even depression. Many children struggle with REGARDING PERMANENCY their changed role within the family system or sibling status when they Those working with children who have been in out-of-home care and are removed from their birth family. For example, a child may have are preparing for permanency should make sure they understand how been the only child in his or her birth family, but the adoptive family each child perceives his or her situation. How a child views the may include several children. Children also may continue to worry and permanency process will likely be very different from how a think about their birth families. They may be confused if their own professional views it. Prior to and during the transition to a new family, children may experience the following emotions or feelings: ~Continued on next page~ CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 19 From the Manual

Preparing Children and Youth for Adoption

or Other Family Permanency (Continued) feelings about a permanent placement do not match others' feelings, as well as any resulting behaviors, stemming from the expectations of how they should react. For example, adults in the transition to the permanent home may be different. child's life may expect him or her to feel happy or grateful to be joining a new family, but the child may still desire to live with his or her birth PREPARING CHILDREN FOR PERMANENCY family or be grieving the loss of that family (NTI, 2019). When children Working with children to prepare them for permanency in relationships are placed with relatives, they may feel uncertain or confused about should include both steps to address past traumas of loss and abuse/ their new role within the family and about how others' roles may neglect and opportunities to give meaning to existing and future change (e.g., the child's grandmother or aunt may now be acting as relationships. Several foundational principles can help agencies the mother figure) (NTI, 2019). implement an overall approach to supporting and guiding children as they identify and establish permanent relationships: • Anxiety. Children about to join or who have joined a new family may feel anxious about the transition (Jarema, 2012). Just as they may grieve being separated from people and places familiar to them, • Permanency is a process for a child, not just an outcome. It they may worry about the changes and different situations they will should begin before placement and extend after the placement has encounter with their new family, home, school, etc. occurred. • Preparing children for a new home should occur regardless of • Divided loyalties. Many children, particularly adolescents, the permanency goal or outcome. have conflicting feelings about being a permanent member of a new family. They may still have strong emotional ties to parents and • Encourage children to express their emotions, concerns, and siblings and may fantasize about or hold out hope for reconciliation thoughts regarding the placement and validate their feelings. even when legal ties have been terminated. • Maintaining connections to the birth family and important Caseworkers who understand children's experiences from the child's people from a child's past may help to foster positive identity point of view will be better able to help them address past issues and development and mitigate negative outcomes. explore the possibilities of new relationships. It is important to acknowledge the feelings the child is having, as minimizing them may • Permanency work with children requires time, consistency, result in additional unresolved grief (Pickover & Brown, 2016). honesty, and authenticity from social workers. Caseworkers also should recognize that each child's thoughts and ~Continued on next page~ CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 20 From the Manual

Preparing Children and Youth for Adoption

or Other Family Permanency (Continued)

• Work with children should not be considered only in the ENSURING CHILDREN UNDERSTAND PERMANENCY context of therapy. Although behavioral health services may be appropriate for any individual child, engaging the child in activities, Children, particularly younger children, may have difficulty tasks, and conversations to prepare him or her for permanency can understanding what joining a new, permanent family means. They be the work of caseworkers, caregivers, social workers, family may not understand the difference between foster care and adoption members, court personnel, and others. In some cases, birth parents (or other permanency options). Children being adopted by their or other birth relatives may be able to help the permanency process foster family still may find the transition confusing or experience by giving their children “permission” to move on to a new family. difficult emotions, even if they have a good relationship with their foster family (NTI, 2019). While initially in foster care, children may • The readiness activities children and youth engage in must believe that reunification with their birth family is still possible, and be developmentally appropriate. The cognitive and emotional during the transition to adoption, they may experience a different set abilities of the child should determine the types of activities and of emotions and behaviors than when they were first removed from resources used in permanency preparation work. their home. • Permanency planning (the legal process) is distinct from Below are some ideas that may help to encourage that process permanency preparation work (the relational process). Children can (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2018; National Resource be empowered by their participation in the planning process (as age Center for Diligent Recruitment, 2015): appropriate and if desired), including their involvement in recruitment and family-finding activities, and by knowing and understanding the steps in the permanency and transition processes. Although these • Explain what a permanent family means in terms that are activities may engage them in some of the emotional tasks of appropriate to the child's age and developmental level. preparing for permanency, a more comprehensive preparation • Ask children to respond in their own words to open-ended program should help them explore their feelings about life events questions about any perceived difference between foster care and and support their readiness for permanency. adoption (e.g., “How do you think being adopted is different from • Children need preparation for new family relationships, just as being in foster care?”). adoptive parents and guardians do. • Let children know that being adopted does not mean they This section describes strategies caseworkers can use to prepare need to forget about their birth or foster family. children for their transition to a permanent family. ~Continued on next page~ CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 21 From the Manual

Preparing Children and Youth for Adoption

or Other Family Permanency (Continued) • Remind children that adoption makes them a “forever” member Caseworkers can explain to children that they can refer to their of the family, even as an adult. adoptive parents by a name with which they are comfortable. It can be a different term than how they referred to their birth parents. If a • Provide opportunities for children to speak with other children relative is the adoptive parent, the child may want to continue who have been adopted about the permanency process (as addressing them as before (e.g., grandpa, aunt). appropriate). Caseworkers also can discuss these issues with the birth, foster, and EXAMINING LOYALTY TO THE BIRTH FAMILY adoptive families so they can ensure children feel they have "permission" to establish new relationships. It is necessary for children Children who will be or have been adopted may still feel a sense of to hear and feel from people who are important to them that it is okay loyalty to their birth parents as well as their foster families or relative to love another family (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2018). caregivers. This is normal. Caseworkers can help children understand these feelings and seek ways to establish new, loving relationships DISCUSSING POSTADOPTION CONTACT with their adoptive family while also honoring their birth family. For example, it is often in the child or youth's best interests to maintain Whenever possible, children who are adopted should maintain postadoption contact with his or her birth family. This ongoing connections with their birth family, including siblings and others. connection can lessen the loss and grief associated with separation, Postplacement contact with birth families, as well as other prior support identity development, and help children and youth overcome caregivers, can enhance children's emotional well-being and help adversity as they prepare for adulthood. (See the Discussing them navigate this journey in several ways, including the following Postadoption Contact section of this bulletin for more information). (NTI, 2019): Names may also be a worry for some children. Some children may want to change their last name to match that of their adoptive family, • Prevents denial and avoidance of their circumstances but others may want to maintain the name they have always had, • Manages emotions about separation which is part of their identity and birth family (Jarema, 2012). • Provides opportunities to validate their feelings Caseworkers can address this issue with the child as well as the • Allows them to consider the reasons why they were separated adoptive family. Additionally, some children may be apprehensive from their family about calling their adoptive parents "mom," "dad," or another familiar • Decreases magical thinking (i.e., children's creation of name (National Resource Center for Diligent Recruitment, 2015). ~Continued on next page~ CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 22 From the Manual

Preparing Children and Youth for Adoption

or Other Family Permanency (Continued) unrealistic fantasies to fill in unknown information about their birth by arranging for preplacement visits. Information that could be shared families) with children includes, but is not limited to, the following: • Decreases feelings of conflicted loyalty • Basic information about the adoptive parents • Helps the child develop his or her cultural identity • Information about any other children in the family Caseworkers should explain to children in a developmentally Where the family lives appropriate way that they may be able to maintain some degree of • contact with their birth family and other prior caregivers (National • What the family's interests are Resource Center for Diligent Recruitment, 2015). However, caseworkers should also be honest with them about circumstances • Pictures of the family that may hinder potential communication (e.g., safety issues, mental • Information about pets health issues). Additionally, caseworkers should let children know that the number and duration of the visits may change over time and the • The family's culture or religion, if different from the child's caseworker or other agency staff will not be there to supervise the visits. Reviewing this information with children prior to them meeting the For more information about maintaining connections, read Information prospective parents helps ensure they are not complete strangers to Gateway's Helping Children and Youth Maintain Relationships With the child (Jarema, 2012). Birth Families (https:// www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/bulletins- maintainrelationships/) or visit the Information Gateway website at Caseworkers also may want to help the child understand family rules https:// www.childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/ postplacement/ as well as the consequences when rules are broken (Wynne, 2016). If connections/. a child has been maltreated, he or she may perceive any physical punishment as abusive. Consequently, caseworkers should urge adoptive parents to use nonphysical methods of punishment. HELPING CHILDREN GET TO KNOW THEIR PERMANENT FAMILIES Preplacement visits should occur before the official placement to help Children will likely be curious or anxious about living with a new the child and family become better acquainted and ease the transition family. Caseworkers can help ease children's minds by providing (Wynne, 2016). Even if the child already has a relationship with the information, as appropriate, about the family and their new home and ~Continued on next page~ CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 23 From the Manual

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or Other Family Permanency (Continued) family, these visits are an important part of the process. If possible, Several resources exist to help caseworkers, birth families, foster and these visits should begin with daytime visits in the child's current adoptive parents, and other important adults work with children on home or somewhere they are comfortable and then progress to visits creating and maintaining this record of their lives. For additional in the adoptive family's home, beginning with day visits and eventually information, visit Information Gateway at https://www. leading to overnight and weekend visits. During visits that occur in the childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/adopt-parenting/lifebooks/. adoptive family's home, the caseworker could encourage the child to bring one or two of their personal belongings to leave there. GOODBYE VISITS Additionally, the caseworker could recommend to the adoptive family During goodbye visits, children and their birth parents meet prior to to allow the child to provide input on what items are placed in the the final placement decision to help each of them process the room or what colors will be present (AdoptUSKids, n.d.). upcoming adoption. (In some cases, these visits may occur when a If in-person visits are not possible due to long distances, online termination of parental rights is granted, even if an adoption is not meetings (e.g., Skype) may help the child and family get to know each imminent.) Contrary to the term, however, this meeting does not other and build familiarity. The caseworker should assess the child's necessarily signify that the child and birth parents will cease all comfort level before and after visits. These visits can assist in contact. Many birth parents and children maintain relationships well lessening children's fears and worries, transferring attachment to the past this visit. During the goodbye visit, it is helpful for the child to hear adoptive parents, initiating the grieving process, empowering the new the following messages from his or her birth parents (Arkansas caregivers, and reassuring commitments for the future (NTI, 2019). Department of Human Services, Division of Children and Family Services, 2013):

LIFEBOOKS • He or she is loved. When children spend extended periods in out-of-home care, memories of significant events and people can be lost. Children may • He or she will be missed. lose their sense of self: who they are, where they have lived, the • The family's involvement with the child welfare system is not people they have lived with, where they went to school, memories of the child's fault. favorite items (e.g., stuffed animals or blankets), and more. Lifebooks help children remember and maintain connections from their past as • It is okay to be happy and love someone else. well as integrate their previous experiences into their current lives. ~Continued on next page~ CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 24 From the Manual

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or Other Family Permanency (Continued) If an in-person goodbye visit is not possible, caseworkers can work ENSURING APPROPRIATE BEHAVIORAL HEALTH SUPPORT with the adoptive and birth parents to find an alternative, such as Even when caseworkers use the other strategies described in this having the adoptive parents read a letter written by the birth parent, bulletin, issues such as loss and grief may emerge as children and playing a video of the birth parents, having a virtual meeting (e.g., families move through different stages. Children in foster care often Skype), or conducting the meeting with another birth relative (NTI, have traumatic histories that affect them in ways that may be difficult 2019). for them to put into words and that may make it harder for them to form trusting relationships with new family members (Lefebvre, 2013). Below are some resources for how goodbye visits are conducted in The sense of loss may be greater if the child has experienced multiple select jurisdictions: foster placements. An adoption-competent behavioral health • How We Do the Work of Preparing a Child for Adoption: Good- professional can be exceptionally valuable in helping children Bye Visits (Arkansas): https://humanservices.arkansas.gov/ images/ understand and, if needed, resolve any related emotions and feelings. uploads/dcfs/Preparing%20for%20 Adoption%20Good-bye For information about helping families select a behavioral health %20Visits.pdf professional, refer to Information Gateway's Finding and Working With • Tip Sheet: Preparing for the "Goodbye" Visit (Kentucky): http:// Adoption- Competent Therapists at https://www. childwelfare.gov/ manuals.sp.chfs.ky.gov/ Resources/Related%20Resources%20 pubs/f-therapist/. Library/Preparing%20for%20the%20 Goodbye%20Visit%20Tip CONCLUSION %20Sheet.doc Preparing children for adoption and other permanent relationships • DHS Child Welfare Procedure Manual (Oregon): http:// should be a process that involves the caseworker, foster and adoptive www.dhs.state.or.us/caf/ safety_model/procedure_manual/Oregon- families, relative caregivers, and others who are important to the child. DHS-Child-Welfare-Procedure-Manual.pdf With the appropriate supports, children and families can heal from difficult life experiences, move toward resolution of past losses, and build readiness for relational and legal permanency. It is also It is also important for caseworkers to ensure birth parents are important to remember that helping children transition to a new emotionally ready for goodbye visits as part of the transition process. permanent family does not mean they must sever all ties with their The links above also provide information about how to prepare birth past. Maintaining relationships with their birth family and other parents. connections to their past can help children form positive identities and promote their well-being. ~Continued on next page~ CASA of Cochise County News and Views July 2021 25 From the Manual

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or Other Family Permanency (Continued)

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES REFERENCES • Center for Adoption Support and Education: Offers resources for AdoptUSKids. (n.d.). Receiving an adoptive placement. Retrieved from children, teens, and adults https://www.adoptionsupport.org https://www. adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care/how-to-adopt- • National Adoption Competency Mental Health Training Initiative: and-foster/receiving-a-placement#prepare-for-transition Provides two state-of-the-art web-based trainings that focus on building the capacity of child welfare and mental health professionals to understand and Arkansas Department of Human Services, Division of Children and Family effectively address the mental health challenges for children experiencing Services. (2013). How we do the work of preparing a child for adoption: foster care, adoption, or guardianship and their families https:// Good-bye visits. Retrieved from https://humanservices. arkansas.gov/ learn.childwelfare.gov/ images/uploads/dcfs/ Preparing%20for%20Adoption%20Good-bye • Books About Adoption (PBS Kids for Parents): Lists books for %20Visits.pdf children about adoption https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/ books-about- adoption Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2018). Helping your child transition • Helping Your Child Transition From Foster Care to Adoption (Child from foster care to adoption. Retrieved from https:// Welfare Information Gateway): Offers tips to help foster parents prepare www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f-transition/ children in their care for adoption https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f- transition/ Denby, R., Gomez, E., & Alford, K. (2018). Helping youth in foster care with • Talking With Older Youth About Adoption (Child Welfare Information grief and loss: Facilitating well-being and reconciliation using the 3-5-7 Gateway & AdoptUSKids): Provides child welfare professionals with a Model. Children's Voice, 27(1), 28–29. framework for how to talk with older youth about permanency, including key Hebert, C., Kulkin, H. S., & McLean, M. (2013). Grief and foster parents: considerations and suggestions for starting a conversation as well as ways How do foster parents feel when a foster child leaves their home? to make these discussions more effective and meaningful https:// Adoption & Fostering, 37, 253–267. doi: 10.1177/0308575913501615 www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/ talking/ • Talking About Adoption (Child Welfare Information Gateway): Jarema, R. (2012). Preparing older children for adoption. Retrieved from Presents resources to help families and people who have been adopted https:// www.adoptioncouncil.org/images/ stories/documents/ discuss adoption https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/ adoption/adopt- NCFA_ADOPTION_ ADVOCATE_NO54.pdf parenting/talking/

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or Other Family Permanency (Continued)

Lefebvre, R. (2013, November). 10 things to know about foster care. Adoption Today, 16(3), 18–19. National Adoption Competency Mental Health Training Initiative. (2019). Training for child welfare professionals. Retrieved from https:// learn.childwelfare.gov/

National Resource Center for Diligent Recruitment. (2015). Going beyond recruitment for older youth: Increasing your system's capacity to respond to prospective parents and prepare older youth for adoption. Retrieved from http://www.nrcdr. org/_assets/files/NRCDR-org/going-beyond- recruitment-for-older-youth.pdf

Oregon Department of Human Services. (2019). DHS child welfare procedure manual. Retrieved from http://www.dhs.state. or.us/caf/ safety_model/procedure_ manual/Oregon-DHS-Child-Welfare- Procedure-Manual.pdf

Pickover, S., & Brown, H. (2016). Therapeutic interventions for families and children in the child welfare system. New York: Springer Publishing Company.

Wynne, D. (2016). Child placement best practices to support permanency and preservation across the continuum. Retrieved from https:// www.adoptioncouncil.org/ publications/2016/07/adoption-advocate-no-97 https://www.azcourts.gov/