THE BLUE AND WHITE Vol. VI, No. II November 1999 Columbia College, New York NY
erraNEWKENDer Jacknevada
^bHOoK .UiOG RöCK^zstl
SECRETS OF THE ROLMPHONE by Michael Schiraldi ON FLORA ON SEX by Prof. Hillary Callahan A Conversation with Judith Steinhart INTRODUCTION MORNINGSIDE FLORA FREE EATS BLUE J. ROLM SECRETS STEINHART CONVERSATION DECOROUS DECORATIONS MEASURE FOR MEASURE CURIO COLUMBIANA LECTURE NOTES LECTURE LISTINGS TOLD BETWEEN PUFFS CAMPUS GOSSIP
About the Cover: At 96 years, Alma Mater is well over the legal drinking age. We raise a glass to the lady with the heart of bronze but the liver of steel. By Katerina A. Barry. THE BLUE AND WHITE
VOL. VI. NEW YORK, NOVEMBER 1999 No. II 31 THE BLUE AND WHITE Vice at Columbia, we discovered all too quick- ly, happens behind closed, secretive doors, if COLUMBIA COLLECE at all. NEW YORK, NY Bestiality porn, for example, is certainly a vice. But as Jenna L. Mendelson points out in Editor-in-Chief Decorous Decoratings it's not the kind of thing NOAM M. ELCOTT, COO that's widely appreciated. No, we are not a Publisher school of wild communal drinking (no alcohol M. T. TREADWAY, COO in the common areas), spontaneous acts of Managing Editor reckless, celebratory violence (when did we MATTHEW RASCOFF, C01 last storm Baker Field?) or rampant sex (see Graphics Editor our conversation with Alice's Judith Steinhart, KATERINA A. BARRY, COO as if this claim needed corroboration). No, Online Editor here at Columbia we dress in black, read phi- MICHAEL SCHIRALDI, E'OO losophy at the Hungarian (whose storied Editors bathroom walls are transcribed in Curio NOAM COHEN, COO Columbiana) and, with the exception of shar- YAACOB H. DWECK, C"02 ing cigarettes, perform our vices by ourselves. BENJAMIN D. LETZLER, C02 But without falling from hedonism into exis- CHARLES A. LONDON, C02 tentialism we present a few facets of vice at Graphics Columbia, along with Lecture Notes and list- ALIZA L. ARENSON, B'03 ings, just in case. PATRICK W. CICCONE, C03 STEPHEN P. CRANT, C01 $ LISA F. HARMON, C01 Correspondence from Dean Brian Paquette: DAVID B. SHAPIRO, C01 Michael Treadway's article in The Blue and IfTiite (October 1999) prompts me to offer Hie Blue and White invites Columbia stu- some clarification. Students requiring emer- dents to contribute original literary work and gency room treatment for alcohol intoxication welcomes letters from all our readers. All are not subject to Deans" Discipline. While the' articles, poems, etc., represent the opinion of Office of Student Affairs does not condone their authors, not necessarily the editors of underage drinking or excessive drinking on the Blue and White. Communications should the part of any student, the primarv concern in be addressed to the Managing Editor and these situations must be the individual stu- should be accompanied bv the name of the dent's health. The Residential Programs Staff, writer. working in concert with CAVA and the hospi- Web: http://www.theblueandwhite.org tal's care providers, attempts to act on behalf Email-, [email protected] of the student through advocacy and follow ven thing von ever wanted to up. We believe to address these situations in anv other manner would be counterproduc- know about vice but were tive. afraid to ask. An inspiring vision for what this number, $ Vice at Columbia, could have This issue is bur last of the semester. Have a become. But it was not to be. splendid holiday!
NOVEMBER 1999 Before Winter Sets in.- A survey of local flora
by Professor Hillary Callahan
his is thefirst installment of what we hope will ture, called a bract. As children, most of us T be a regular feature in the BG-W. The idea is played with helicopter-like maple seeds, called to provide a nature guide to walking the samaras. But few were taught to fly a basswood Morningside Heights neighborhood. The guide will bract. It's never too late. First find a basswood be written by Columbia scientists and published tree by looking for the heart-shaped leaves. here in seasonal installments, beginning with this Then try finding a few fruit-bearing bracts. issue's Autumn-Winter piece. Toss them back into the air, and enjoy. Prof. Hillary Callahan is a member of of Before bracts bear fruits, they bear flowers, Barnard's Dept. of Biological Sciences. of course. So, any good basswood spots found this fall are worth visiting next summer. Prolific TLLIA CORDATA nectar production by basswood flow- In rural areas, ers gives the species its countrified where basswoods name, bee tree. Euro-phile sophisti- and maples crowd cates prefer to call them lindens. The the forest canopy, species provides one of the few sweet both species notes in the city's generally sour sum - underwrite each mer odor, whatever the name. springtime's burst of greenery by GINGKO BILOBA borrowing nitro- Before winter sets in, consider a gen from the rich, short visit to the Museum of Nearly- dark forest soil. Extinct Trees. It's right behind Shedding leaves Barnard College at 116th and is all about retir- Claremont. Every 25 feet or so, you'll ing that year's see a genuine living fossil, a gingko. debt. In the city Superficially, gingkos look like ordi- where basswoods nary trees. Their bark is brown and are common rough. Their green leaves have turned street trees, yellow and fallen to the sidewalk. mechanical blow- Basswood or American Linden — Their twigs have formed fat brown Tilia americana ers and sweepers buds that will burst back into green make this type of leaves next spring. To understand the natural economy impossible. It's no surprise gingko's antiquity, look closely at a leaf. Their that solitary urban basswoods don't live to be fan-like shape and tight net of veins look noth- as old as their country cousins. And droughts ing like the leaves of other modern trees and don't help. everything like 150 million year old gingko Although operating on a permanent deficit, fossils. most city basswoods persevere, and many man- It's a wonderful phrase, "living fossil"—exotic, age to produce a yearly crop of seeds. As they worth preserving, a privilege to see. And it's shower the sidewalks with heart-shaped leaves, true. The gingko is extinct in the wild. Until basswoods are also dumping hundreds of about 200 years ago, it survived only as a tree small spherical fruits. Dry and inedible, clusters cultivated on the grounds of Chinese and of basswood fruits are attached by a strangely Japanese temples. Europeans and North crooked stem to a leafy, wing-shaped struc- Americans have cultivated it for a century or
42, THE BLUE AND WHITE two. It's a favorite urban tree, Knotweed isn't just able to grow in sidewalk tolerant of diverse climates cracks. It has sprouted in every single sidewalk and soils, and quite invulner- crack in the city. able to pollutants spewed by Winter will eventually curb knotweed's pro- cars. fusion of tiny, pinkish, extremely unattractive The gingko's extinction is flowers, but they are fairly invulnerable to the puzzling. Wonder about it as first few light frosts. To enjoy them, visit the you stroll through the muse- south side of 120th Street between Broadway um, but avoid stepping on and Claremont, an almost perpetually shaded gingko seeds. Each one is spot. Try picking them. I do. No one seems to wrapped in a fleshy, smelly mind. coating. Claremont Avenue Like most wildflowers and weeds, knotweed dog-walkers dutifully pick up leaves will wilt instantly, and their stems will M^emim persi- after their pooches, but so far droop soon after. By morning, the flowers will caria no one has volunteered to disintegrate into a mess of dust and hard, picks up rotting gingko flesh. A street of all- shiny, black seeds. Sweep them up and toss male gingkos, lacking fruits, could solve this them out. They'll grow. stinky problem, but might be a rather curious botanical phenomenon in the shadow of the nation's finest women's college.
POLYGONUM PERSICARIA The season for wildflowers is over, unless, like me, you love knotweed. When someone writes a sequel to Betty Smith's A Tree Grous in Brooklyn, it ought to be about knotweed. Knotweed can endure any number of difficulties. It tolerates both flood- ing and drought, both shade and blazing sun. If fertilizer is applied, knotweed will suck it right up, filling space with masses of ugh joint- ed stems and multiple layers of its small, drab leaves. But knotweed needs 110 fertilizer. Knotweed flowers for months, producing and shedding millions of seeds. The seeds will sprout whenever and wherever conditions are right. Usually, that's anywhere, and even- where, and all year 'round. Just in case there's a problem, knotweed seeds live for decades. Cinkpo
Blue and White Searching for a Charity < ' The B NOVEMBER 1999 31 Don Quixote de la Munchie: Food Errantry by Don Sobrepeso he poet once said, '"'Hie only food group I self-preservation would send away her mortal- Tneed is free food." With this in mind, ly bound allies? brave Paco and I set forth to test the honor of Tuesday we fared better. Resourceful Paco, this most lauded of universities, td measure its scouring the land, did see on the bridge over fortitude in providing for our most worthy Amsterdam a law school reception. Fine and impecunial dietary requisites. This was grounded flanks of beef and hearty ales were not a task for the faint of heart. It would served. And these we procured. Were we involve braving hostile territory, raiding scared? Verily, we brushed against discovery, guarded caches under the very eye of the but as 1 did avoid eye contact with some foul enemy and, most arduous of all, keeping a student of the law, I muttered something straight face. about "mergers and acquisi- For the sake of principle tions in statutory code" to and our fellow Columbians, trustworthy Paco, and away we poised ourselves to con- we scaped, undetected. front a week of our lives Wednesday had 1 a without paying for a single midterm, so valiant Paco dinner. Did we complete and myself did forego any this dire labor, this calvary? adventuresome questing. Read on, my brave compa- Thursday was our tri- triots! umph. At break of night we Monday last we began made for the faculty house, our quest. Resourceful Paco wherein was to be held a and myself, upon turning great banquet. For a firm of home to our place of investment banking it was dwelling, did spy a most to be. The door was barred. prodigious feast underway. A gaunt man did stop us Alack, the door was barred, and demanded in terms blocked by amazons, sturdy looking and most base, "Hi, do you guys want to sign up fierce. "This is the women's mentoring pro- for our seminar?" We writ down on his page gram," spake one of these to me, "You can't several pseudonyms and so we foiled this vil- come in unless you're a mentor or mentee." lain. Then we feasted. We began devising a clever stratagem to gain There was savory sushi here and delicately our admittance to this splendor—rounded fried egg rolls and exotic spiced satay of beef bries and cream filled camambert, swelling and e'en those little crumbly cheesy balls. But grapes on the table, crisp crackers of wheat, soon, as we did continue our well earned and yes, so was ambrosiac soda to be found repast, were we thrown out of this halcyonic there. And even as we were planning, we met paradise. As it would seem, the joyous music the graphics editor of this very publication, of our laughter as we dined did distract the Katerina Barry. Did she aid us on our journey, seminar in progress, the vile suitclad men of as ought a trusted colleague under even the downtown. direst of circumstances? But our night was not over, and so we pro- Nay! She cast us away, saying "Guys, there ceeded to the famed hall of Uris, where the are deans here. C'mon. You're gonna get me in trouble." What fiend is this, who for fear of Continued on page 36 2, 4 THE BLUE AND WHITE BLUE J. RIP On Broadway ?; Extend ollowing is an electronic correspondence main responsibility for event publicity now lies F between Blue J. and various Columbia admin- with the Lemer Hall staff. Last year Student istrators about On Broadway, the web-based activ- Activities ran a website and mailing list called ities listing which was mysteriously shut down On Broadway, which was intended to be a over the summer. Blue J. was very fond of On comprehensive listing of lectures, events, meet- Broadway, and he set about researching its decline ings etc. on campus. The website is now down and fall and trying to bring it back to life. Here are because the responsibility for this has passed thefirst results of those efforts. from Student Activities to Lerner. But the Lerner website does not present information From: B. J. NOVEMBER 1999 31 Secrets of the ROLM by Mike Schiraldi Once upon a morning early, I awoke but still denied my request just the same. Finally after was surly, much cajoling I was let in on the secret with Rolled over and then gazed down to the the menacing addendum, "If students knew SpyPhone on myßoor. everything these phones are capable of, the Though "Message Waiting" wasn't lit, something system would overload." This was the wrong strange there didn't fit. thing to say. My digital tattoo problem was I thought it over, bit by bit—I'd never seen this solved, but my curiosity had been piqued. screen before. Thus began my quest to uncover the secrets of "The LCD," I muttered, "it says 'CALL 36674- the Rolm. Below you will find the results of my Only this, and nothing more." exploits. I tried a good part of that day to make the mes- Let's begin with the "Call..." message on my sage go away— LCD. If you dial someone with a Model 624 I pushed the buttons every way, and oh'. They "SpyPhone" and press CAMP while the phone made my fingers sore. is ringing, a message will appear on their Soon, though, I was forced to face it—this screen, phone telling them to call your number. This I could not erase it. comes in handy if someone's mailbox is full or How I wished I could replace it, 'place it with you really need to be called back and option blank screen of yore— three of special delivery instructions just won't The blank screen I was used to on my Model do the trick. Unfortunately, most students have 624! Model 120 "Plain Old Phones" which lack sil- I could not take it anymore. very LCD screens and so can't display anything at all. (How do you remove the message? See nd so began my quest to be rid of the this article's sidebar on the next page.) Aharmless but annoying eyesore. Of course, my first step was to follow instructions—I While many students know how to forward called the friend of mine whose number now their calls to another extension, few know that marred my phone. All I could say was, "How it is possible to turn off forwarding without did you get my phone to tell me to call you?" returning home. In fact, it's even possible to That's when I found out the bad news and the change the forwarding destination from anoth- worse news—not only didn't she know where er location. Here's an example illustrating how the message came from or how to remove it, it works: Athena is heading out to visit with but the same thing had once happened to her her friend Aphrodite. She's expecting an phone and there it remained for the rest of the important call, so she forwards her phone year. there by picking up the handset, pressing FORWARD, and dialing Aphrodite's That would not be acceptable for number. After arriving at Aphrodite's, me. Determined to be master of my Athena decides she'd rather hang out own device, I pored through manuals, with her other friend Juno. So Athena searched the web, and talked to nerd dials her own number from after nerd. Finally, I called Aphrodite's phone, hears a dial Communications Services and tone, dials Juno's number and explained my problem. The answer hangs up. Now Athena's phone is for- was prompt if not polite: "I can't tell warded to Juno's. To just shut off the for- you, but maybe there's someone who warding entirely, Athena could simply dial can." A woman, presumably his man- her own number from the extension to ager, came on the phone and 42, THE BLUE AND WHITE which she's forwarded her calls and then hang shouldn't be screwing with this. up (which Aphrodite could also do, if she did- There are at least two situations when you n't want Athena's call). would want to reprogram MSC WTC. First, it's Another little-known feature present on all great for confronting the busy signals encoun- Rolm phones is speed dialing. Using the tered when buying World Series tickets or try- instructions in the sidebar, you can program ing to win call-in contests. Also, try any phone number, local or outside, into but- programming a consenting tons 1 through 9. However, a warning is in friend's number into MSC WTC order at this point - speed dial programming is and hitting that button as fast not for the faint of heart or the slow of as you can. Their phone will brain. If you decide to live so dangerous- warble like a parakeet on ly, don't leave your stored crystal meth. numbers on the phone at This trick is a great way the end of the year. For to awaken oversleeping one thing, it's discourte- friends who aren't answering their ous to the next resident. phones. An even better way is to simply For another, there's actually a press CONNECT while the phone is way for that resident to find out ringing. This overrides voicemail so the all the numbers programmed into the phone, phone will keep ringing until the friend real- including any PSCs. izes that you're not going away. Curious readers may be wondering what While these tricks all have legitimate uses, happens if you program a phone number into they can also be used for evil. Be warned, how- your 0 key. This will actually reprogram your ever, that the hand of justice is swift and mer- MSG WTG button. If you decide to try this, ciless. So don't harass anybody. make sure you know your home system access That's not what these great tricks are for. number so you can eventually put things back /is such a deed would bring reprove, while all the the way they were. If you don't know what a features be removed, home system access number is, you probably And our great Rolm phones, "Never more." '—' ROLM SECRETS IN BRIEF <—' 1. To put a "CALL [your number]" message on someone's phone: Press CAMP while their phone is ringing. 2. To remove a "CALL" message from your phone: Leave the phone on the hook and press 1 Note: multiple "CALL" messages can be left. When the recipient presses 1, the oldest is erased and the next is displayed. 3. To change your forwarding remotely: Pick up the phone that your line is forwarded to. Dial yourself. Wait for the tone. Dial the new number you'd like to be forwarded to. Hang up. 4. To cancel your forwarding remotely: Same as above, but skip the penultimate step. 5. To program a speed dial number: Pick up the phone and dial ##3x, where x is a number from 1 to 9 (or 0 to program MSG WTG). Then dial the phone number you want to store. This can be either a simple 5-digit extension, or 97 followed by your PSC followed by any outside number you want. 6. To dial the number you just programmed: Pick up the phone and dial #3x.To erase a speed dial aumber: Pick up the phone and dial ##3x Hang up. 7. To make someone's phone ring and ring until they pick up (i.e. override voicemail): Press CONNECT while their phone is ringing. NOVEMBER 1999 31 Columbia Conversations Judith Steinbart on Sex at Columbia his month's conversation took place in the each other was we all sat down and took these T offices of Go Ask Alice, the health information purity tests on-line.... You look over someone's website. Present were Judith Steinhart (JS), of shoulder and you're like, Oh my God you did University Health Services and Alice; Yuliya thaP. Or, you mean you got a ninety-two per- Shneyderman (YS), C'01, president of Conversio cent pure? I was really surprised at the number Virium; Isaac Silvergate (IS), C'OO; Sheila of people in my suite who hadn't really had any Dvorak (DS), C'03. And from the Blue and experience. Not even just like having sex but White: Rachel Robertson (RR), C'OO; Michael like a sexual experience. Treadway (MT), C'OO; Noam M. Eicon (NME), JS: Like French kissing. C'OO; Matthew Rascoff (MR), C'01; Katerina MT: Judith, in the six years you've been here Barry (KB), C'OO. how would you see the trajectory of the RR: What do people think of when they think Columbia sex scene, not just in terms of num- of the Columbia sex scene? What images come bers of people having sex but in terms of to mind? openness on the campus, comfort level on the JS: Well, I think there are different pockets. campus, and education? One really interesting pocket, to me, is the vir- JS: In fact, twenty-five years ago it was much gins. Many people are uncomfortable being more open to talk about what people were virgins, some people are okay being virgins but doing and how they felt about it.... We have their partners are uncomfortable with them gotten much more conservative in terms of being virgins, they're ready to sexually activate talking.... However, on the other hand there are them and they aren't ready. I think that gets new pieces of information that I can talk to underrated here. People come to Columbia people about that I couldn't before. and feel like everyone is sexually sophisticated. Emergency contraception was not something I I've talked to seniors and graduate students talked about when I first got here because, who are virgins. So that's one pocket. Can any- even thought the health service has been' mak- body corroborate that? ing it available for about eleven years, it w 42, THE BLUE AND WHITE cern anymore. JS: Well, where do you meet them? When have JS: I'm really not sure. I would like to think so. you looked at them and they've looked at you I would like to think that people are so com- and there's been a little spark? fortable using condoms that it's just part of IS: Sport events. Like after soccer games and sex. stuff like that. A lot of peo- MT: So Yuliya, what so ple are looking to just like you see as the role of your go home with people organization? because they're drunk and One really interesting they're euphoric. YS: Education. Conversio Virium is a completely dis- pocket, to me, is KB: I don't know. Other cussion-based group. schools! I have a really bad We're not providing the virgins." habit of dating people demonstrations or any- who don't go to Columbia. thing. It's definitely educa- IS: Everyone does that. tion. People who come to That's like the worst part. the table on Activities Day are probably just Every girl at this school is looking for guys out- curious. They come to the first meeting, we side Columbia. Oh, it's so not fair. And it's so pass out information, and if it's not for them true. It's ridiculous. they don't come again. We have our little core IS: But considering that there's four times as group of people that are interested. We provide many women in this area then men... a lot of safety information and also technique. women say there are no good Columbia men. JS: But if you met someone at the CV meeting You hear it all the time. They look elsewhere. you could ask them out for coffee afterwards? MT: I'd say class is the place I meet people. YS: You could, it's not illegal or anything. MR: That would be mine too. JS: Do people do that, though? IS: Really? 1 have never met a single girl in YS: 1 haven't seen it. Mostly people come who class. I feel uncomfortable talking to a girl in are interested in it and maybe they want to get the classroom. their partners interested in it, or their partner KB: It depends on what kind of classes you is interested and they want to learn more take. about it, stuff like that. IS: I don't know. There are two places I would JS: Let's come back now to what you were say- never talk to a girl: the gym, and class. I just ing about the social scene. Sometimes talking feel like they're not there to talk to guys. about sex is almost premature. People need to RR: The gym? That's why they're there. connect with another person first. I've done certain programs where it was really interest- IS: You think so? ing because the students wanted to do it on SD: Everywhere! Never would I think, oh this dating, and how to meet somebody. I learned is not the place where I want to meet someone. from them about how little time they have to I'd always want to meet someone. find people and how they really do need to IS: I've always had this theory that girls never study. And this is also one of the reasons why want to be talked to in places where they don't during safer sex seek we have a flirting coach look their best. Seriously. So I feel like when come and we also have a dirty dancing night. they're at the gym and they're sweaty they're It's to provide people with other ways of being just not going to be in the mood to talk to a together. That's another pocket. guy about anything. So I just steer clear. MT: So, working on pockets, how do you see KB: I think it's the opposite. If a guy wants to people meeting up? What are the venues that talk to you despite you not being all dressed Columbia students use to find other people? up, it says something good about the guy. I'm NOVEMBER 1999 31 Continued from page 35 IS: True. much less likely to talk to a guy in a bar than MR: False. in a random place. KB: Well not all guys are like that. You just IS: Really?... I feel morally offended if you have to find the ones who aren't. won't talk to me in a bar. I'm like, you're in a SD: But I think you can find girls like that too. baA Why are you here? RR: Well, yeah. It doesn't just go one way. SD: It's true! If people want to talk to you and you're not in a setting that's like specifically, KB: My first two and a half years here I had a "this is the place to pick people up", then I feel boyfriend who went like you're actually interested in what I have to to another school and I definitely found that say or who I am. freshman year, there were a lot of times when KB: I think you should just go into it like, this I would become friends with a guy and then as is an interesting person. I'm going to become soon as it became apparent that I wasn't going friends with them and if something develops it to dump my boyfriend, they would not want to develops, if not, not. be friends anymore. RR: Yeah, but what guy meets a girl to be JS: So where else do Columbia students meet? friends with her and not go further? RR: I think dorms are big spots for meeting MR: Me. people. RR: Then I'm impressed. I have very few male KB: I lived in Hartley last year and by the end friends here while I had tons in high school of the year practically everyone in the suite had and I've talked to guys who were like, that's hooked up with someone else in the suite. because a guy doesn't want to be friends, he wants to hook up and if he sees that there's no SD: Yeah, we made a big no sex with suite potential there then he sees becoming friends mates law. It was sort of a joke though, and it with you as a waste of time. didn't really stick. L Continued from page 30 Lerner Auditorium, wherein Merrill Lynch was to ensnare the young with forswearings pf feal- business school partook in the hour they call ty. We stormed the door. And whilst they car- happy. Here we scaled the fence, and filled our ried out these foul proceedings, we partook of bellies with many-toppinged pizza and more their pizza. sushi and ales, before we were chased away by And so concludes our week, our most hum- barbaric hosts of servers, angry when we could ble submission to the annals of errantry, produce no "ID" on their insistent demand. valiant Paco's and my own finest hour. We had Friday and Saturday were naught and so with braved perilous odds and, risking all, we had Sunday. Yet Monday night, the final of our won. Truth prevailed, and Justice, over the arduous struggle, were we given the Spinning forces of evil. We had reckoned with the law Sisters' blessing, though 'twas in a curse's and business schools, the varied clubs; we had guise. We set first for the Korean Students' prevailed over the downtown firms—We had Meeting, for which posted banners had pro- procured the grub made ours by right of claimed food to be proffered. And yet as we Nature. arrived we saw only chips of potato, and stu- Look not on us as bums, as mongrels base dents wond'ring at our fine lineament and who, rather than paying for a meal, would sac- noble demeanor. And even so, we left. rifice our very dignity. Nay! We are heroes; our As we headed home, we hailed a compatriot, works were done for love of the Good. We a fellow journeyman in the noble quest. He answered the call of Glory, of Piety, of spoke to us of festive happenings down in Chivalry. Ain't our fault if we got free eats. 42, THE BLUE AND WHITE Decorous Decorating: a Dialogue By Jenna L. Mendelson with interpolations by Bingo othing makes me happier than walking Maintenance is key to the pulled together Ninto my room, kicking off my shoes, and look, as dorm rooms are notorious for accruing nestling my feet into the thick blue bath mat bizarre odors and layer upon layer of dust. covering the floor of my John Jay single. And Room perfectionists may restlessly overhaul I am not the only one who likes a room with a their rooms every few months. Such an under- personal touch. A friend of mine declared that taking can involve shifting and reshifting fur- she did not feel "comfortable" until her room niture, or even shopping sprees for new sheets, was decked out in souvenirs from her various sandalwood laundry baskets or the elusive faux South American travels. And rumor has it that leopard skin throw mat. Obsessive-compulsive cacti a fellow student collections or big derives similar boards of smarmy comfort from a high school prom wall full of bestiali- photos can also ty porn, much to reflect this look. the distress of his Meanwhile, in one of roommate. My own his profoundly room is decorated latently homosexual beneath a uniform moments, Reagan three-foot deep layer once said that Andy of papers. My fluo- Williams's voice was rescent Post-It Notes a national treasure. have vanished Evidence for the again. Despair. Ronald's other pri- Basic room deco- vate life abounds. ration at Columbia seems to divide into three "Missile defense,"you say? What you're hearing is main categories: the pulled together room, the the sound of Freud snorting coffee out his nose. individual style room, the "I just sleep here Even more prevalent than the pulled togeth- (well, sometimes)" room, and the school of con- er room is the individual style room. Followers structing all interior design entirely around bongs. of this school tend to put posters, stickers and Four main categories. Bongs. Those aiming for pictures all over. Many fine-tune a unique look the pulled together look often make room dec- into a strong personal statement, ranging from, oration not just a one-time series of purchases, "I travel the world," "I enjoy bestiality porn," or but an ongoing hobby. Such students have its variant, "I am active in Republican politics." been known to comb through home decorat- This approach to room decoration usually ing stores in search of the perfect teak laundry takes shape within the first few weeks of a basket, or the ever-elusive pink shag rug. semester, but can change mercurially on little Shag? No thank you, we go to Columbia. The notice. hard-core room enthusiast can even opt to take This is especially true when 1 know Bill Blass advantage of the direct shuttle from the would hemoirhage spontaneously if he beheld my Manhattan subway to the New Jersey Ikea. fashions. Students with statement-making Jkea, like that movie Fight Club. Explains why rooms tend to keep them clean, with the possi- Helena Bonham Carter doesn't talk to me any- ble exceptions of those who wish to make a more. This fire alarm pull I stole will make a statement through filth. charming kleptomania addition to my windowsill. Continued on page 44 NOVEMBER 1999 31 MEASURE FOR MEASURE In collaboration with the Columbia Review SUSHI Thursday. 4 a.m. in the fulton street fish market the forklift chases me down the aisle past the conch. At your back sings the driver. I'm at your back watch where you walk. Brie has her hands in her sweatshirt says these fleshy tons thrown all together make the worst biological disaster no one ever heard of. Lift chop sweep louie cleans the tuna steak flushed toenail crimson. I find sweet coffee buy it and shuffle through puddles of god- knowswhat. It's a man's world here they leer cause they're bored I sneer cause I'm tired. We get along. Friday. Up around eleven innings my knees start to buckle. Steve is feeding me sprinkles out of a batting helmet I have to stop acting like I'm not here. The daddy in the forward box says bobby bo's going to hit a home run and 1 believe him! daughter has yellow bangs and she stares but still won't slap me five. Clap I'm dead asleep on the 7 out of flushing sorry about your shoulder baby. Saturday. Hungry sucking bubbles through my straw all of a sudden likä some- body turned the lights on after hot towels they bring the food. There are these dragging stretches of days where everything is bright and. blurry- jewelry cucumber jagged diced. Waiting on telephone calls training giant cursive characters over the tri-state I never pay for my dinners anymore. Wonder when anyone will notice I'm hanging here butter soft fresh from a nap like red fish on rice. —Sarah Lightdale C'01 The Columbia Review publishes poetry, short stories, creative non-fiction and visual art in its annual magazine and features poems monthly in The B&W. Consider submitting your own work for publication. To learn more, please visit www.columbia.edu/ai/review. 42, THE BLUE AND WHITE THE SPANISH CATHOLIC In the drunken streets of Grenada the little boys hit the bull hides of drums in narrow streets and the percussive echoes off Arabic stone confuse the rhythm. The black ladies celebrating death with a candle walk silently in circles to the cathedral. Everyone a symbol, the sangria bottle breaks and the man selling candied apples curses his fate. Blue hooded men church steeples hiding their eyes hold gold canes and scare the mangy dog THE APPLE AND THE FLOOD eating salty goat bones The 8th day was an ignorant time: in the cobblestone cracks. Mosquitoes bled the river dry, The moon is full Clocks froze though I cannot see it And the tongue did not crave through all the faces. Liquor or soma. —Jonah Lehrer, C'03 We slept silently on a soft bed Of guiltless pornography And the muscles of our smile Flexed exhausted Through the portly plastic guise Of the commuter clown. Our wet mouths beamed in the dark Blissful like an unborn, Until the jealous snake Sold a blind man the incandescent light Glowing in the filaments Of an apple, littering the streets of Eden. The sweet juice dripped from our stout lips, And our newly curious eyes Gazed upwards at the melting wings of the boy. We stared at the sun and our eyes caught fire. —Jonah Lehrer, C'03 NOVEMBER 1999 31 CURIO COLUMBIANA: The Hungarian Palimpsest long-standing landmark 011 Amsterdam and: AAvenue, the Hungarian Pastry Shop -COMMIES AJIE BACK AND THEY ARE exudes its own sort of Old World charm. It is BOR1NC! a place where you can go to sit and study with a single cup of coffee for hours. Or you can Some seem to have to do with nothing but them- just watch the (often vaguely Communist) selves: graduate students who seem to congregate — Bring me back to West Berlin there debate post-structuralist critique, or the —Revolution is the opiate of the intellectuals philosophy of Bakunin. Or else converse idly or: with China, the owner's old cat, who seems —Robert is a shemale always to be underfoot. The real treasure of the Pastry Shop, howev- And some make no sense whatever: er, is hidden away in the back in its single, tiny -TROOPS OF NOMADIC SAME-SEX-ORI- unisex bathroom. Hie patrons of this facility ENTED RUSSIANS ARE ROAMING have seen fit, as they whiled away their time ACROSS THE STEPPES AND RECRUIT- there, to fish out their ballpoints and grace the INC FROM ISOLATED VILLAGES. THE breadth and height of the room's white walls ELDERS OF THE TRIBES HAVE ALL SEEN with their singular graffiti, their thoughts, com- ANDY WARHOLS "LONESOME COW- ments, ideas, ideals, memories, messages, BOYS" AND REFER TO IT AS THEIR BIBLE poems, manifestoes, rants, questions and —Wake up, hegemonic fuck, there qre others quotes. Obviously the result of a process of around you. several years, the Hungarian Palimpsest is con- -LLAMAS ARE LARGER THAN FROGS tinually renewed, its sprawling scrawl stretch- ing out across the walls, overlapping itself, The most interesting messages, however, are those layer upon layer. Often a new writing will that open a dialogue, one artist adding his or her obscure the message upon which it intends to comments to an earlier graffito usually connecting comment. The owners of the store have appar- them by use of little a>-rows: V ently painted the writings over, but they bleed out into the new graffiti that is constantly —Love the life you lead then you can lead the added. It is truly a living record, and any life you love attempt to capture its specific flux of odd wis- below which, in another hand: dom and beauty is necessarily limited. The —signed "complacent" small sampling which follows may suffice to impart some understanding of its richness, —Want to live in an S.R.O.?-go to the is Manhattan School.of Music Some of the same Is are direct reactions to the -What's an S.R.O.? scene inside the Pastry Shop: -So Ripped Off —Who's that old guy who studies chemistry —you've got that right with the fat ass and ugly face? -$1.20 for a cup of Tea!!! It's Amsterdam, One daring artist, apparently well-advised of the not Paris!!! bathroom walls' productive nature, wrote a ques- tion as if s/he was writing to a magazine advice 42, THE BLUE AND WHITE column. Perhaps s/he did not anticipate quite the like you have a racial fetish, which is dehu- volume of responses that the question received, manizing and, yes, racist, however. The entire conversation follows: yet, sadly, not uncommon. -I'm white, but I'm not attracted to white -SPARE ME. men- only black, men. Is this racist? — I agree, do you like them for who they are, —who cares? or for the racial/racist myths you —No, you're just a self-loathing Caucasian impose upon them? (i.e. 'thug' 'exotic' 'sex- homosexual machine' 'buck') —and you like yourself, yea, right. -ISN'T THIS A MAN'S HANDWRITINC? —I'm a black man and I feel the same way (referring to the original question) about white women, It's not racist just a free —no, it's not! I wrote the original message. choice and personal preference It's slightly fake-type handwriting so my —You're definitely the racist here- stop bring- friends won't recognize it. Actually, 1 do date ing into media sensational elevation of white white men, but I am finding black men and the white norm of beauty increasingly attractive + white me decreasing- —The only racist thing @ this whole argu- ly so, but 1 exaggerated for dramatic effect. ment are the men + women who can't stand —If it's racist it's also misogynist. It becomes to see one of their own with the opposite skin ridiculous. Isn't desire a form of color, this is jealousy/racism fetish? fuck who you want, fight racism + —if you are categorically not attracted to your misogynism politically. own race it is self-loathing and I think you —The handwriting analyst is racist + misogy- have problems. nistic —Look out for fetishising, colorizing on the basis of even the most obvious typologies Andfinally, we have a hint that the formation of such as skin color, genital size, language, class! this inked masterpiece is held to some sort of patron perhaps especially, in the matter of love—oh! imposed standard: but is this love at all here? -JAMES AND RAND I 8/21/99 "a love that —What's racist is not that you are only attract- will never die" ed to blacks, but why. It sounds —no insipid graffiti, please 31 NOVEMBER 1999 LECTURE NOTES n Monday, October 18, at 8 p.m., further study of the Placebo effect, whether in OProfessor of Biology Bob Pollack deliv- sugar pills or prayer, as a significant medical ered the second in a series of thoughtful lec- tool. Dr. Pollack linked the power of psychoso- tures on religion and science to a packed audi- matic factors to the spiritual obligation of doc- ence in IAB. Beginning with a quote from Pope tors not to appropriate moral authority, but to John Paul IFs encyclical Faith and Reason, Dr. respect their patients' free will in making life Pollack offered a deft exploration of the paral- and death decisions. What Dr. Pollack did not lels that exist under the surface between his discuss fully was the possibility that research- faith, Judaism, and his field, molecular biology. ing the biochemical mechanisms by which Both exist to analyze and understand a actions like prayer have medical value could revealed text, whether the Torah or the human undermine religion. The lack of a stated reli- genome. Both also look forward, he stressed, gious faith, Dr. Pollack quoted from the New to a Utopian time when that text will be fully Republic, confers on a patient the health risk of understood and death will lose its dominion smoking a pack a day of cigarettes for 40 years. over man. DNA is merely the paradigm of a But what if research finds the health benefits wholly new, but not contradictory, law. of Judaism can be had in weekly Torah shots, Dr. Pollack drew from both contemporary or that salvation in Christ, as the satirists at The research and rabbinical literature to emphasize Onion Radio News have suggested, will soon be the importance of religion as a factor in medi- available in convenient gel form? This was not cine and the compatibility a question Dr. Pollack chose to of the two studies. engage. Dr. Pollack earlier had been Darwin, faced with man's quick to point out that religion descent from apes, may redeems ethical concerns about have delayed publishing human cloning and genetic testing; for two decades, and without religion, attempting, to pre- every one of us, in Dr. serve our conceptions of our own Pollack's words, may be "a genetic uniqueness only shows genetic experiment that denial. While quick to explain how can end only in death." religion should temper science, Dr. Yet despite all this, Dr. Pollack was not as forthcoming \n Pollack soldiered through how science might temper and eveh with complex, at once weaken religion. < humanistic and deeply religious arguments on These are, however, only niggling points. Dr. subjects as diverse as green-eyed frogs, the Pollack, with his Papa Smurf-cum-Zorba-the- interrelationship between doctors, the Greek mystique and graceful quoting of Hippocratic Oath and the Talmud, and sci- Darwin and Niebuhr side by side, is a man easy ence's need for religion to transfer on it tran- to admire. He makes a compelling case for scendence and meaning. enduring unities between science and faith While Dr. Pollack is an eminent mind, the and is an eloquent defender of the continuing lecture had its moments of oversimplification. importance of religion in modern and specifi- One of these came with Dr. Pollack's call for cally in the scientific life. Join Dean Quigley, Dean Colombo your College classmates and the editors of the Blue and White in an intimate discussion on: "Creating a College Community in a Multi-Schooled University." Thursday 9 December at 10:30 AM. To sign up, email [email protected]. 42, THE BLUE AND WHITE LECTURE LISTINGS: Policy & Politics Monday November 29 History at the University of Notre Dame will hold a Institute on Western Europe Discussion A round- brown bag seminar discussing his new book. 12:30- table discussion with Andrew Moravcsik, Harvard 2:00 PM, Room 1219 IAB Government Department, on his book The Choice Friday December 3 for Europe. 12:00-2:00 PM, Room 802 IAB Zhongwen Luntan Chinese Conversation Table MPA Practicum Speaker Series Lecture Deputy 12:00-1:00 PM, Room 918 IAB Secretary Robert Mallet, U.S. Department of Commerce 4:30-5:45 PM, Kellogg Conference Center, Room 1501 IAB Each future Blue and White number will include Tuesday November 30 listings devoted to a particular area of study or Institute of African Studies Lunchtime Seminar interest. We begin with "Policy & Politics," which "Kinship: A Family's Journey In Africa and America" bears no connection at all to this issue's theme of 12:00-1:00 PM, Middle East Institute, Room 1118 vice. IAB Foreign Policy Association/SIPA Evening Lecture "Reflections on a Career in Public & International Affairs" Peter D. Bell, President, CARE USA, will lecture. Dean Lisa Anderson will preside. 5:30 PM, Kellogg Center, Room 1501 IAB Wednesday December 1 Jewish Theological Seminary Public Lecture "Kosovo and Beyond: Can Religion Be the Solution instead of the Problem?" 7:00 PM, Jewish Theological Seminary, 3080 Broadway (at 122nd Street) Center for Korea Research Film "A Hot Roof' 7:30 PM, Lehman Auditorium 202 Altschul, Barnard College Thursday December 2 East Asian Institute Brown Bag Lecture "Is Banking Finance a Dinosaur? Recent Trends in Policy Based Finance in Japan" 12:00-1:30, Room 918 IAB The Institute of War and Peace Studies/ International Conflict Resolution Program Brown Bag Seminar "Ambivalence of the Sacred: Religion, Violence and Reconciliation" Dr. R. Scott Appleby, Professor of ANY QUESTIONS? www.Roask-ilice.columbia.edu NOVEMBER 1999 31 Continuedfrom page 37 ment that much more potent. For many students, college is Finally, many students just opt for the classic thefirst opportunity to deco- "I just sleep here (well, sometimes)" look. rate rooms without unwant- Low-maintenance and versatile, this style of ed, bills-paying parental room decoration is likely also the cheapest and interlopers. It is a chance to can itself convey a sense of personal style. The develop a personal style for liv- "I just sleep here" ambience can be as simple ing space design, and, like every as a crumpled sheet in the corner of the mat- thing in college, only improves with tress, bare walls, or a heap of dirty laundry in experimentation. the corner. If the student actually does sleep in Diacritical blackguards'. Postmodern the room, he may sometimes open the window Paracelsus sings to me of love-get thee to air things out, but a strange smell, whether behind me, Perry Como! In spiritus of old laundry or neglected food or the bodies sanctum, cheeseburgers, four for a dol- in thefreezer.; enhances the overall feel. lar, gorgonzola extra. Spicing up the room's papers sea with a book It's best not to define a crust, including Notes of a Soviet Actor, Bluffing Columbia student by his living Your Way In Art, and a classic 1938 Nazi music quarters, as he is likely to tire of the lava lamp on history emphasizing how effeminate Jewish opera his desk, the Peruvian tapestry hanging from his giant Giacomo Meyerbeer's Robert le Diable is ceiling or even the teak laundry basket courtesy of just because of one dancing dead nuns scene. Next the parents' credit card. Instead, the student living up: mounting on the wall a vinyl copy of Jefferson in chaos today could be installing neon-lit blue Starship's Winds of Change album. ramps tomorrow. Unfortunately, rooms of this type are the most Think how far we can soar from our days likely to develop problems with dust and rodent topping radiators with a United Nations of infestation, but because they are intended to seem beer bottles. only sporadically inhabited, this makes the state- International and Domestic Magazines and Newspapers. Over 5000 Titles. Literary Journals. Comics. Something for every interest. All ages. OBAi Pastries, Scones, Desserts oV Cigars, Cigarettes, Coffee, Tea, Hot Tobacco, Phone Cards, Chocolate, Cappuccino Maps, Barcharts,, Gift Certificates 2876 Broadway lltlth-112th (east side of Broadway) 212-280-5071 7 Days, 5 AM-Midnight MAMA JOY'S CATERING WITH A PERSONAL TOUCH 2892 Broadway (212) 662-0716 662-0767 662-8122 FAX (212)316-3062 Open 7 Days 8 A.M-1 A.M. 42, THE BLUE AND WHITE TOLD BETWEEN PUFFS erily Veritas is not so spry as he was. Back delightfully vulgar entertainment of our Vwhen he was getting his start, VV was inbred brethren to the south, the Princeton there in a straw hat shouting luizzahs for the First-Year. We ourselves were busy burning Republic's cocky young President, that Crover Anglo-Saxon readers out on Hamilton lawn, somebody. 1893 was a very good year. Verily's but it made for great backroom banter. When times have been like wine from old vintage some poor campus architect got shot down by kegs, that have flowed sweet and a Rubenesque young lady-actress's clear, from the brim to the dregs, jealous husband, we were agog for they were some very good years. weeks. But VV hasn't seen anyone These are telling words for a life, truly agog on the Morningside ones that have been plagiarized by Campus in 60 years. Ever since we every two-bit singing act to come let those Italians scamper around out of Hoboken. Yet for all this underground with uranium, it's time, Verily's only disappointment been anything goes. Wbat does it is the shortage of vice at Columbia even mean to be agog anymore? In today. its day, agog meant admiring some Vice is something relative. It can sublimely salacious line in the only be vice if it comes full of Core texts. Perhaps the agog chutzpah, accompanied by scandal, undergraduate might even cut brouhahas and charivaris of all himself a fresh quill to underline shapes and sizes. These are endan- the naughty phrase. When a puck- gered species in contemporary ish mood prevailed later, one could Morningside Heights. When sex is then recount it to some fair as simple as saying, "Oh yeah, we Barnard student, so that she, too, hooked up," the opportunity for might be agog. But no one gets Victorian morality plays goes down agog at all anymore. the drain. Even if Mayor Giuliani Verily Veritas concludes that the himself were discovered in fla- youth of today have, alas, gone granti' delicto with a 300 pound straight down the crapper, to coin a manatee, it wouldn't make better phrase. Everything is a fait accom- than A27 in the Times. Perhaps it li. "We were drunk, we were might if Mrs. Giuliani asked for a hornv, it happened, get over it," she divorce, but it would only make it explains to Verily. The wry, risque above the fold if she demanded a video depo- inflections, the arched eyebrow, the damning sition from the offending sea mammal. Ours is half-shake of the head to condemn that a different world. woman of the night whose services Great Once, tittering and titillation were great Uncle has been retaining in the servants' quar- spectator sports. Sin, guilt, and tragedy were ters again—all this is obsolete. There are no all over. Now W asks the breeze if anyone still latter dav Scarlet Letters. No longer do even knows how to enjoy watching people's Universitv Presidents rend their vestments to lives crash on the rocks of sanctimonious reveal the crimson T that brands them Tippler. mores. They ask if he has heard of The greatest sin in New York today is Andrew Schadenfreude, and meditatively he replies, Llovd Webber's continued employment. Wbat "Gesundheit." Back in the Gilded '90s, we has become of us? could share a chortle over brandies at that — Verily Veritas 31 NOVEMBER 1999 CCSC. Making things happen. Course reviews, professor critiques: The CCSC Courseguide http://www.columbi a.edu/cu/ccsc i Selling textbooks? Looking for cheap books? Forget postering and take it online https://wwwl.columbi a.edu/sec/bboard/ccsc/books Any questions? dial 1-CCSC We've got answers. tcsColumbia College Studenct Counci l DINING ON CAMPUS COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY JOHN JAY DINING ROOM THE FOOD COURT AT CARLETON LOUNGE John Jay Hall - Main Level WIEN HALL Mudd Building- Fourth Floor Wien Hall-First Floor Breakfast MondayrFriday. Monday-Friday. 7:30-10:00 am Monday-Thursday. 7:30 am-9:00 pm 8:00 am-S.-OO pm Friday, 7:30 am-6:00 pm Continental Breaffast URIS DELI Saturday. Closed Monday-Friday. 10 00-10:45 am Uris Halt-Main Floor Sunday, 12:30-9:00 pm Lunch Monday-Wednesday. CAFE (212) AT Monday-Friday I 1:30 am-2.00 pm 7:30 am-7:00 pm ALFRED LERNER HALL Dinner Campus Level Thursday-firiday, 7:30 am-5:00 pm Daily, 5:00-8:00 pm Monday-Thursday. 7:30 am-2:00 am Frid^r. 7:30 am-9:00 pm Brunch Saturday-Sunday. 11:30 am-2.00 pm Saturday, 11:00 am-9:00 pm STUDENTS SAVE 8.25% 911 Sunday. I! :00 am-2.00 am JJ.'S PLACE every food purchase made John Jay Hall - Lower Level LENFEST CAFt with Dining Dollar* • enroll Monday-Thursday, 8:00 am-2:00 am Jerome Greene Halt-Third Floor today at 103 Wien Hall!!! Friday, 8:00 am-9:00 pm Monday-Friday, 8:00 am-5;00 pm Saturday. 9:00 am-9:00 pm Sunday, 9:00 am-2:00 am IT S EASY TO ADD FUNDS TO YOUR DfNINC DOLLAR ACCOUNT! Students may add funds to an existing DINING DOLLARS account by visiting us at 103 Wien Hall or by filling out a 'Dining Dollars Add-Slip' at any of our MNINSSflfflCB dining locations (see cashier). Amounts may also be added by writing to: mM M m COLUMBIa A UNlVEMirV dinlngdolIarslScolumbla.edu 42, THE BLUE AND WHITE CAMPUS GOSSIP encing coach George Kolombotavich, spy- as poor as Frank McCourt says he was. Until I Fing a Bad Religion T-shirt, has expressed was about three, I rode around in a Pierce bemusement. "It almost seems redundant, Bad Arrow car. We were broke for about ten years, Religion. Is that agroup of religions?" inquired but people were much nicer then. ... A lot of Kolombotavich. Meanwhile, fencing coach movies now are open-ended and despairing. Dr.Aladar Kogler has been seen around the Are you all depressed? I come from the good Dodge Fitness Center trendsetting anew look, old days—we had the Creat Depression, we that of a windbreaker with apparently nothing had World War II, the Holocaust, and now no underneath. TheBlue and White celebrates the one has any hope for the future." men who make Columbia fencing one of our "Everybody's writing about the death of the mostsuccessful athletic teams. novel. That's bullshit. There's just nobody to read the great novels." The Burgess-Carpenter collection has "Ashley Judd has attitude, yet is somehow recently begun withdrawing some of its attractive." Richard Hofstadter items, including a hand- "If you don't like Grand Illusion, you're some edition of AI Smith and His America expelled from the human race." with Dr. Hofstadter's autograph. The Blue and "What is it with this Brad Pitt thing? He has- White thanks the University libraries for their n't made a good movie in 37 years. Am I miss- largesse. ing something?" $ <9 Commentary from Columbia's greatest film Posted in the Dept. of Germanic Languages. critic in The Blue and Whites ongoing Andrew Fellow Germanists! The Deutsche Klassiker Sarris Culture Watch: Herder Ausgabe has been checked out since I "In my soul, I'm Robert Redford. On the arrived @ Columbia (4 years ago). If you have exterior, I'm one of those Warner Brothers it, could I copy some things for my exam? gangsters with a machine gun in a violin case." Otherwise I will recall it. [smiley face] Robert. "I detect an ironic attitude. That'll never do <9 in a class this size—leads to mob violence." Interested in a tiny little moment of social "Dietrich was zaftig in 'The Blue Angel'—no interaction (or absurd lack thereof) noted Christy Turlington. There were no anorexics recently? I was walking behind a tall student then. This is real sauerkraut-wienerschnitzel with headphones on who was knocked out of German beefiness. Dietrich was pansexual. step by a frazzled female student on a cell She slept with everything. Winston Churchill phone coming up some steps. She paused said her legs were among the high points of from her conversation to turn around and yell Western civilization." out an apology, but as the young man had on "I was bom in 1928. I'm over 70 now, and I his headphones, the basic courtesy was lost on lived through the Great Depression. I wasn't all but me. —Elinor Adams, C'01 31 NOVEMBER 1999 i> Core classes and who have done so with In the spirit of great debates of yore— remarkable style. Congratulations to the first Lincoln-Douglas, Kennedy-Nixon, yea even recipients: Kathy Eden, Mark van Dören Abraham and the All Mighty—the Columbia Professor; Martha Howell, Gustave M. Berne community was shaken to its very foundations Professor; Careth Williams, Theodore Kahan as the Columbia Campaign to End the Death Professor; and Jim Zetzel, James R. Barker Penalty took on the Columbia Conservatives Professor. in a prime time match-up over the fate of $ Mumia Abu Jamal. While the Conservatives The quandary: What is the first Greek word were no match for the preparedness of their of the Iliad! No one in our suite could recall. opponents, defenders of Mumia, well, they We knew it was translated as "rage" ... but had to defend a convicted cop killer. Many what was the goddam Greek? Nostos we had, B&W editors—opposed to the death penalty eudaimonia we could manage, but without a but not convinced of Mumia innocence- Classicist, without a First-year in Lit Hum, and would hope for respectively less radical and without a Creek-English dictionary, what were callous arguments from each side. we to do? $ The inspired idea: To stand at that crowded Dean Quigley announced the endowment of corner where Hamilton meets South Field and four new professorships in the Core. These are shout out the question. It took about 30 sec- to be given on a five-year rotating to faculty onds till someone shouted back the correct who have devoted themselves to teaching answer: Menin. tex- 996 Amsti 4PM - 12AM 212.865.^5 Fait - • 984 crdaniAve. w Available for panic HOUR 11AM - 11PM Takeout and Delivery Only Catering available • Inquire about group rates SOUTH OF HARLEM dal ia s FF A-F-A-S! Bar & Lounge HOURS: 4PM - 12AM Amsterdam Avenue (Between 108 & 109 Sts.) 212.865.9541 available for private parties 984 ArnsterdamAve. Available for private 212.678.0098 panics Open 4pm 4am Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm daily 48 THE BLUE AND WHITE