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THE UNDERGRADUATE MAGAZINE OF COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY, EST. I 8 9 0 THE BLUE AND WHITE Vol. X IV No. II October 2 0 0 7 ______ QOQ ciao THIS IS NOT YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS Why Columbia Feeds Crack Habits in the Name of Science By Jessica Cohen THE WONDERYEAR You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea: Life on John Jay 5 By Anna Phillips ZEN AND THE ART OF ACADEMIA: A CONVERSATION WITH ROBERT THURMAN also: campus drug dealing, 80s fantasy movies, mary Gordon Editor-in-Chief TAYLOR WALSH P ublish er JESSICA COHEN Managing Editors JAMES R. WILLIAMS LYDIA DePILLIS (Bwog) Culture Editor PAULBARNDT F eatures E d ito r ANDREW McKAY FLYNN Literary Editor HANNAH COLDFIELD Senior Editors ANNA PHILLIPS KATIE REEDY JULIN. WEINER L a yo u t E d ito r DANIEL D’ADDARIO G raphics E d ito r ALLISON A. HALFF Web M aster ZACHARY VAN SCHOUWEN Copy Editor ALEXANDER STATMAN StaffW riters MERRELL HAMBLETON, DAVID ISCOE, KATE LINTHICUM, MARYAM PARHIZKAR, ARMIN ROSEN, LUCY TANG, SARA VOGEL Artists JULIA BUTAREVA, SASHA DE VOGEL, MAXINE KEYES, JENNY LAM, SHAINA RUBIN, ALEXANDRA VOOTE, DIANA ZHENG Contributors MARY GRACE ALBANESE, BRENDAN BALLOU, NOAH BROWNING, MAXWELL LEE COHEN, ANNIE DANIS, SARAH EBERLE, USTIN CONCALVES. MICHAEL MOLINA. CHRISTOPHER MORRIS-LENT, ASHLEY NIN, ARMIN ROSEN, ALEC TURNBULL, JUSTIN VLASITS THE BLUE AND WHITE Vol. XIV FAMAM EXTENDIMUS FACTIS No. II C olumns 4 Bluebook 8 C ampus C haracters 14 D icitalia C olum biana 39 M easure for M easure 41 V erily V eritas 4 3 C ampus G ossip F eatures Anna P hillips 10 The W onder Y e a r You think you know, but you have no idea: life on John Jay 5. Andrew Flynn 3 2 Z en a n d th e A r t o f A cad em ia A conversation with Robert Thurman. A ltered S tates Jessica Cohen 16 Th is Is Not Your Brain on Drugs Why Columbiafeeds crack habits in the name o fscience. Lydia DePillis 21 A R etu rn t o Tem perance The story o fan ideological think tank that thrives on the Columbia name. Katie Reedy 26 Slingers How Columbians learn to deal. DanielDAddario 30 Sobriety Bites The semester o f magical drinking. C riticism P aulB arndt 3 6 T h e Babe w ith th e P o w er How cult becomes culture: Muppets marching into the canon. Daniel D Addario 4 2 Song of Myself All about Mary Gordons mother. www.theblueandwhite.org COVER: "They're Watching" by Allison A. Halff O ctober 2007 3 ARRIVALS All Hallow’s Eve: night of ancient rites and ripped fish nets. For the Celts of yore, it was a liminal season for noc Global Warming, in the form of sun dresses in October turnal ancestor worship and communion with the spirit world. For Columbia students, it’s a time to shed the daily Injustice, in the form of early closing armor of Girl Talk and Goethe; to trade the “I roll out of times at 212 and Blue Java bed with this hair” costumes in for real ones. And to gawk at the family in the Village parade dressed as sushi rolls and Massive tubs of candy com and meilow- chopsticks. creme pumpkins for $4.99 at 212 Thus, in the spirit of the season, The Blue and W hite’s Shitstorms before controversial speech October issue is replete with tricks and treats-kick back es (Fall 2007) with a fun-sized Snickers and enjoy. Halo 3, bra! Maintaining the pagan tradition of idol worship, An drew Flynn sat down with Professor Robert Thurman, the DEPARTURES Jeffrey Sachs of Eastern thought, to hear his musings on Germans, Christopher Hitchens, and the Core (p. 32). And from the gothic to the genuinely creepy, our series of Shitstorms after controversial speeches articles on drugs (p. 16) sheds light on Columbia’s grit (Fall 2006) tier side—and just may scare you straight. Jessica Cohen’s stranger-than-fiction account of our own uptown drug lab Western-imposed ideas of sexuality is sure to send chills down your spine. And from Katie Reedy’s chronicle of on-eampus dealing, learn how your Vim and vigor classmates are making bank by pushing powder of the non- Pixie Stick variety. Old-school formatting at The New York Times Ah, Halloween at Columbia-charade, masquerade, mid terms, orange jello shots. And a bit of advice for the unin spired: if you can’t think of a costume for your ADP/Hogan Suite/internship office party, wear whatever you want and tell people you’re Walter Benjamin. It’s a name everyone knows they should know, but no one has any clue what he looks like, and they won’t want to admit their ignorance. -Taylor Walsh Editor-in-Chief - M .......... ..._____ ; C .. - _ .. '. , . .... ......T . ,v....... REVELATION OF THE MONTH Newly nominated US Attorney General, the Honorable Michael Mukasey—replacement of Alberto “What Wiretap ping?” Gonzalez— is a proud Columbia College alumnus, class of 1963. W hat’s more, a recent article in The Politico has identified him as a member of the Senior Society of Sachems, those of the diamond-spangled pinky rings. Accord ing to the article, Mukasey has no comments regarding his past shenanigans. The Sachems presumably have no comment regarding the fact that a Google search for the word “Sachem” only re turns 54 hits, while “Mukasey + incompetent” comes in at a healthy 28,600. AUTUMNTIDE ACROSS Small groups of likeminded weirdos “I just hope will be better.” The sleepy enzyme Unpleasantries that last from September to December What trees do in the tree-spa DOWN California kids get such a kick out of it A fowl consumed with family Colloquial term for the pool outside our student center The delicious substance of pumpkins A melanin-related byproduct of global warming Find last month s cros,sword answers El online at www. bwog. net. COME AGAIN...? “Instead of writing a post-9/11 book like several hundred others have, 1 embarked on a gathering. Now I wish to sell it. 1 love my work, but I earn only audio-video tech wages.” — Columbia Medical Center videographer Michael Ragsdale, criticized on Bloomberg, A- comfor marketing press releases, cards, flyers A i > 0 , / and about 3,000 homemade posters gathered ■A N from makeshift memorial sites in the aftermath o fthe World Trade Center bombings. Bluebook compiled by K atie Reedy, JuliN. Weiner, and James R. Williams; Illustrations by Allison A. H alff O c tober 2 0 0 7 BLUEBOOK LUE NOTES he specter of absinthe is haunting midtown. One the $ 15 bill I received, which could only be explained Thundred years since its initial ban and 15 years as an absinthe-induced hallucination. after its European re-legalization, the drink is expe Thrill-scckcrs and francophiles will have to get their riencing a North American re-birth. As they say, ab phantasmagoric fix elsewhere—perhaps in paintings of sinthe makes the heart grow fonder. the wormwood-worshipping Impressionists. For New Artemisia absinthium is an herbaceous perennial Yorkers searching for a sip of romanticized history in plant that thrives in rocky soil and uncultivated areas. drink-form, Amalia serves an excellent Manhattan. Absinthe is the anise-flavored spirit created from the plant, blossoming in only the most cultivated of mi —JuliN. Weiner lieus. In 19th century Paris, amidst the pre-natal heart beat of modernity, absinthe was the preferred drink very morning except Sundays, suburbanites from of French literary and intellectual circles: Toulouse- Eall reaches of the tri-state area arriving at their jobs Lautrec and Manet personified its purported—in fact, in Momingside Heights pull into the coveted metered falsified—hallucinogenic side effects in their paintings parking spaces on 120th Street between Broadway and of small green fairies taunting drunk cafe-dwellers. Amsterdam. The spots aren’t legal until 8ant, so early- At the turn of the twentieth century, government of risers sit in their cars, ficials became nervous about its narcotic quality, and reading the pa most European countries banned the drink. In late per, tapping September, 2 007, however. The New York Times pro at their lap claimed Manhattan the center of the absinthe renais tops, and sance. waiting. Amalia, a laughably trendy 55th Street restaurant, is at the forefront of the resurgence. Their Artemi sia Cocktail contains absinthe, Citronae, Metaxxa 5-Star, and Calvados. The drink is pale yellow, like a cheap beer poured into a glass you didn’t realize was already full of water. It tastes like stale black licorice (the Metaxxa) and water (the melted ice). Last week, I took on its challenge, but the frequendy em ployed method for drinking the undrinkable—sipping quickly through the stirring straw—ul timately proved futile. I found myself chasing the alcohol with my own saliva. There were no no ticeable narcotic effects aside from 6 T h e B lue a n d W hite BLUEBOOK Those who’ve claimed their spots must stay alert and would need to be named Palestrina. I was grasping. on the look out for cops-in-a-box brandish their leath This was the last Music Hum exemption test I could er-bound ticket books. ever take. For a parking spot with a six-hour meter, it’s worth it. Actually, every Music Hum exemption test is the last Frequent parker Patricia, of Queens, says even the me Music Hum exemption test you can ever take. Under ter maid can’t keep her from her plot of Manhattan real- the policy as it has stood for the past few years, you are estate.