Curbing Campus Crime

1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:08 am Page 1

wessexscene.co.uk 23rd January 2002 - ISSUE 753 - PRICELESS CURBING CAMPUS CRIME

CAMPUSUNIVERSITY REPORTS CAMPUS CRIME CRIME TO LOCAL ESTATES TO IMPROVE UCAS PERCEPTIONS In an email leaked exclusively to CAPERSTHE UNIQUE REVOLUTIONARY NEW the WESSEX SCENE it has been revealed that the University has “The security codes on the been reporting crimes in other doors in my block have only districts of Southampton to avoid been changed once since we a reputation of crime that could arrived - because someone’s boyfriend got result in a lowering of addmis- in..” sions.

So says Reports centred around incidents on Amanda “OPEN DOOR” or around university property (names adjoining Burgess Road. These have been changed) , reports were apparently filed as a first-year HALLS’ SECURITY POLICY occuring in the infamous Flowers student in “A joke”? Indeed, the security Estate. This means that at a cursory Connaught halls of Residence. “presence” at Glen Eyre Halls is a which this incident occurred has glance the University appears safer The unreliability of, or Around the same period, a warden joke amongst all the students stay- been the subject of security concern than it currently is. unchanged codes on some of the allegedly informed students at the ing there. The common perception buildings in Southampton’s halls since Day 1 of the first semester halls that their had been problems of the security guards is as “Old, ELECTIONS is a disturbingly common com- this year. Since then, it’s been no with “random people sleeping in overweight and unable to give chase PAGE plaint amongst freshers this year. secret that the main door can be one of the kitchens”. to anyone”. One student describes forced open discreetly and with no Of course this system is not in place them as “good at getting shirty if in all of the halls, as Romero Halls One student from Montefiore says you try and take someone else’s real effort or noise. 10 and some buildings at Montefiore that “the buildings with access post, but that’s about it”. halls have electromagnetic locks codes haven’t had theirs changed The building has 3 entry points, all This is no personal attack on the which are deactivated with a keyfob since October”, whilst access codes security guards themselves, all of with access codes, which have been - but this system leads to its own in Stoneham (much like some at whom are good people just doing changed regularly since the stu- problems. Connaught) were only changed after an incident - this time involv- their jobs. However, when one sees dents’ arrival. One of those doors, During a fire alarm, the magnetic ing a fire extinguisher. that the security guards are, with however, has only recently had a locks are automatically switched one or two exceptions, the wrong keypad removed which since A duty warden from a halls of resi- off so that everyone can get out of side of 50 and spend a lot of time dence near Highfield concurs: “The November last year was accepting the building quickly and easily. The smoking outside the building’s security here is a joke, not just in the access code “00000”... locks are then switched back on doorways, it’s not difficult to our halls but everywhere,” He con- Security is something which after the alarm is dealt with- how- assume that they are not the best of tinued that, at a meeting he and a ever, after a fire alarm on the first of deterrents. Business Services staff and stu- colleague had raised the subject February this year, students in dents alike need to discuss in order after finding a female student being Ia recent incident, a security guard Romero apparently found that their to find a solution to these growing taunted by youths on the grounds of in one of the Glen Eyre buildings “secure” doors remained switched the halls, only to find at the next found a student’s key. They, no problems - this will not be solved, off for almost 36 hours - that’s meeting that their pleas had been doubt with the best of intentions, however, if even the wardens’ con- almost an entire weekend without And you will know us by completely ignored: “They hadn’t then let themselves into the stu- cerns are being ignored. any form of security on the build- done anything about it”. dent’s room, where the student’s sis- the trail of dead.... ing’s doors! ter was asleep. The same building in ROB BARBOUR 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:08 am Page 2

PAGE 2 Wessexscene.co.uk Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 3 INSIDE YOUR THIS ISSUE PAGE FETISH FOR FASHION FollowingCAMPUS several incidents of place there isn’t much that can SECURITYbe time chasing kids out of the build- Safety always overrides security.” thefts from University buildings, done, although the groups do tend ing, you don’t really feel safe - even As for the students themselves, the Dear Beryl, the issue of on-campus security go, when asked, without further with 40 people there - and you can’t overwhelming majority don’t 7 raises its head again this month, problems. leave anything in the foyer, one of appear to realise there is a problem. especially with regard to the our cast had their bike stolen during It is only those who have been in problem of intruders to Union The situation seems to be similar a rehearsal last term.” direct contact with the gangs, or buildings. when the gangs decide to enter the have friends who have been affect- Union building itself. “They don’t “We’ve started going out en masse ed. BEER WATCH Students have become used to see- come here with any real intent. It’s when we hear or see them in the WITH JOEL STOBART ing gangs of teenagers, and often- boredom, they come down from the foyer, and someone will have their This needs to be addressed, aware- younger children, hanging around Flowers Estate, there’s no-where mobile, to (threaten to) call security. ness needs to be raised whether you Highfield Campus, whether it be there for them to go, so they see the This seems to work, be we should- use the Union or not, we all have to around the Union, faculty and University as a kind of playground, n’t be forced into the situation. It’s know there is a problem, even if Mr departmental buildings or the it’s something for them to do. We about time something was done, Spence says it is not a major one.

Durham Burgess Road area. This year how- find them, ask them to leave, and people are aware of what’s going ever, has seen increased confidence they do - they know they’re in the on.” The main message from Mr Spence, in these gangs as they have started wrong.” which has been repeated by Stephen to actually enter buildings with Trevor Spence, SUSU Building’s Edwards, is to be vigilant at all Wales London greater frequency. “A new security company has been Manager believes that intrusion is times: “Don’t leave your belong- employed on site for the past 2 - 3 not such a major problem in the ings unattended, lock offices, and if During local school’s half-term weeks, and we haven’t seen any- Union as it is in other areas, “the you see anyone suspicious either Soton Union President Stephen Edwards thing of the kids, the dog patrols porters do a very good job keeping ask for their ID card, or report them and Union porter Buddha had to seem to have done the trick, a suc- them out.” Obviously the cost of to the Union porters.” AROUND THE WORLD chase a group out of the Union, fol- cessful move which should’ve been having porters or security guards Amsterdam£1.00 Los Angles £1.70 Athens £1.20 Madrtid £1.50 lowing sightings of them in the made sooner.” permanently sited at every It appears that the Union and Barbados £1.10 Majorca £1.60 West Building, and eventually University building would be too University have now taken meas- Barcelona £1.30 Manus £1.00 tracking them down to the Coffee Intrusions are not just a problem at great to put into action. ures to improve campus security, we Budapest £0.80 Miami £1.40 Bar kitchen where they go and the Union, other University sites will have to wait and see if the situ- Calcutta £0.80 Moscow £0.90 “give grief” to the staff. have been targeted too. One of In contrast to Buddha, Mr Spence ation improves. In the meantime, Dhaka £0.90 New York £2.00 Frisco £2.50 Oslo £4.00 these sites is Arts Lecture Theatres thinks the teenagers are “oppor- however, all students and staff need Geneva £2.70 Paris £2.00 As Buddha explained: “The kids H & J (next to the Nuffield Theatre) tunistic thieves - if they saw a hand- to be aware of the problem and Hong Kong£4.00 Prague £0.60 come and hang around in the which are used most weeknights by bag unattended, they’d take it.” ensure greater vigilance at all times. Jo’berg £1.45 Rio £1.45 evening out-side the main entrance, some of the University’s performing Kabul £2.00* Sarajevo £1.00 on their bikes and skate-boards, arts societies. “We do what we can to improve By Anna Mansell Lagos £0.55 Sydney £1.40 Lisbon £1.50 Tenerife £1.10 sometimes hassling students as they security on campus and in the queue to get in.” When this hap- Showstoppers’ President, Kate John Union, but due to Health and London £1.95 *Where available pens the porters ask them to move tells us: “It’s a pain. We GOT A STORY: CALL NEWSDESK on, but as the area is a public Safety regulations we cannot take 023 80 595230 have to waste valuable rehearsal all security measures we’d like to. [email protected] For information on these girlies turn to Wsx page 37 SCENE It’s life, A Californian university has suspended a course in male sexuality after reports of student orgies and trips to strip clubs. I FOUGHT THE LAW... Gym... Concerns about the course were raised A shock survey by MORTI yesterday revealed that 90% of students In an unprecedented feet of cooperation DSR, the Glen Eyre JCR & in a student newspaper, The Daily are inadvertently breaking the law. The WessexScene has taken it Business Services have worked together and a new multigym facility Californian, which contained allega- upon itself to find out whether YOU are in the wrong. opened on the Glen Eyre Halls site on the 18th February. tions that students had taken part in an UNION NEWS orgy. - All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of long- The £40,000 project is as a result of the DSR’s effort to increase facili- There were also accounts of trips to a PAGE 8 bow practice a week supervised by the local clergy. Yes, that means you ties at satellite sites and is co-funded by the JCR of Glen Eyre Halls. The strip club and parties at which students boys. Maybe we should campaign that Wednesday afternoons should be gym equipment includes weight machines, and resistance machines and took sexually-explicit pictures of each devoted entirely to this long forgotten sport. is for the use of all Glen Eyre other. - It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar). I think students with DSR sports The course, which provided credits • A totally new • All gamers on level this is one law that we have all broken. cards. towards graduation, had a number of gaming experience playing field - Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked mannequin. So guest speakers scheduled, including a Playboy’s alright then? The Glen Eyre JCR porn actress and a representative of a • Up to 16 LAN gamers • Gaming quality and - In Scotland it is illegal to be a drunk in possession of a cow. President, John Franklin, sex shop. in-house equality says “It is a major step for- However, in our search we also found some laws which mean you can do ward in investing in the IT ALL? • Competitions over the • Relaxed pub atmos things that you would normally get arrested for, and yet, somehow, be in social activities of our stu- www phere the right. dents.” SCENE - It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel In the next issue of the WessexScene we will have a full article on the Nearly one in three university students of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle. Tell that to the official opening of the Gym which will be attended by our Vice claims to have sex once a week, and police officer next time you’re caught outside Jesters... Chancellor, Bill Wakeham. spends almost four times as much on PAGE 10 - In Chester you can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow *** One hour free for first-timers *** alcohol as books, according to a sur- This glut of health awareness showed on Sunday when Glen Eyre bar GOT A STORY: CALL NEWSDESK inside the city walls and after midnight. vey. Manchester University emerged - Watch it when you’re in Hereford though. You may not shoot a Welsh staff football team destroyed Monte’s Boiler House opposition 11-3. as having the highest proportion of 023 80 595230 person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close Five goals coming from the bar manager and captain, Si Cook. He was *** Student discounts *** [email protected] - In York, excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with heard to remark “Ha ha you Monte losers”. students who used drugs and had fre- a bow and arrow. (Do you sense a trend here? - Ed) quent sex. The Wessex Scene Online: - In Liverpool it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a by Imogen Hitchcock The Experience Has Begun ... http://wessexscene.co.uk clerk in a tropical fish store. IT ALL? 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:08 am Page 2

Durham Burgess Road area. This year how- find them, ask them to leave, and people are aware of what’s going ever, has seen increased confidence they do - they know they’re in the on.” The main message from Mr Spence, in these gangs as they have started wrong.” which has been repeated by Stephen to actually enter buildings with Trevor Spence, SUSU Building’s Edwards, is to be vigilant at all Wales London greater frequency. “A new security company has been Manager believes that intrusion is times: “Don’t leave your belong- employed on site for the past 2 - 3 not such a major problem in the ings unattended, lock offices, and if During local school’s half-term weeks, and we haven’t seen any- Union as it is in other areas, “the you see anyone suspicious either Soton Union President Stephen Edwards thing of the kids, the dog patrols porters do a very good job keeping ask for their ID card, or report them and Union porter Buddha had to seem to have done the trick, a suc- them out.” Obviously the cost of to the Union porters.” AROUND THE WORLD chase a group out of the Union, fol- cessful move which should’ve been having porters or security guards Amsterdam£1.00 Los Angles £1.70 Athens £1.20 Madrtid £1.50 lowing sightings of them in the made sooner.” permanently sited at every It appears that the Union and Barbados £1.10 Majorca £1.60 West Building, and eventually University building would be too University have now taken meas- Barcelona £1.30 Manus £1.00 tracking them down to the Coffee Intrusions are not just a problem at great to put into action. ures to improve campus security, we Budapest £0.80 Miami £1.40 Bar kitchen where they go and the Union, other University sites will have to wait and see if the situ- Calcutta £0.80 Moscow £0.90 “give grief” to the staff. have been targeted too. One of In contrast to Buddha, Mr Spence ation improves. In the meantime, Dhaka £0.90 New York £2.00 Frisco £2.50 Oslo £4.00 these sites is Arts Lecture Theatres thinks the teenagers are “oppor- however, all students and staff need Geneva £2.70 Paris £2.00 As Buddha explained: “The kids H & J (next to the Nuffield Theatre) tunistic thieves - if they saw a hand- to be aware of the problem and Hong Kong£4.00 Prague £0.60 come and hang around in the which are used most weeknights by bag unattended, they’d take it.” ensure greater vigilance at all times. Jo’berg £1.45 Rio £1.45 evening out-side the main entrance, some of the University’s performing Kabul £2.00* Sarajevo £1.00 on their bikes and skate-boards, arts societies. “We do what we can to improve By Anna Mansell Lagos £0.55 Sydney £1.40 Lisbon £1.50 Tenerife £1.10 sometimes hassling students as they security on campus and in the queue to get in.” When this hap- Showstoppers’ President, Kate John Union, but due to Health and London £1.95 *Where available pens the porters ask them to move tells us: “It’s a pain. We GOT A STORY: CALL NEWSDESK on, but as the area is a public Safety regulations we cannot take 023 80 595230 have to waste valuable rehearsal all security measures we’d like to. [email protected] For information on these girlies turn to Wsx page 37 SCENE It’s life, A Californian university has suspended a course in male sexuality after reports of student orgies and trips to strip clubs. I FOUGHT THE LAW... Gym... Concerns about the course were raised A shock survey by MORTI yesterday revealed that 90% of students In an unprecedented feet of cooperation DSR, the Glen Eyre JCR & in a student newspaper, The Daily are inadvertently breaking the law. The WessexScene has taken it Business Services have worked together and a new multigym facility Californian, which contained allega- upon itself to find out whether YOU are in the wrong. opened on the Glen Eyre Halls site on the 18th February. tions that students had taken part in an UNIONNEWS orgy. - All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of long- The £40,000 project is as a result of the DSR’s effort to increase facili- There were also accounts of trips to a PAGE 8 bow practice a week supervised by the local clergy. Yes, that means you ties at satellite sites and is co-funded by the JCR of Glen Eyre Halls. The strip club and parties at which students boys. Maybe we should campaign that Wednesday afternoons should be gym equipment includes weight machines, and resistance machines and took sexually-explicit pictures of each devoted entirely to this long forgotten sport. is for the use of all Glen Eyre other. - It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar). I think students with DSR sports The course, which provided credits • A totally new • All gamers on level this is one law that we have all broken. cards. towards graduation, had a number of gaming experience playing field - Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked mannequin. So guest speakers scheduled, including a Playboy’s alright then? The Glen Eyre JCR porn actress and a representative of a • Up to 16 LAN gamers • Gaming quality and - In Scotland it is illegal to be a drunk in possession of a cow. President, John Franklin, sex shop. in-house equality says “It is a major step for- However, in our search we also found some laws which mean you can do ward in investing in the IT ALL? • Competitions over the • Relaxed pub atmos things that you would normally get arrested for, and yet, somehow, be in social activities of our stu- www phere the right. dents.” SCENE - It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel In the next issue of the WessexScene we will have a full article on the Nearly one in three university students of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle. Tell that to the official opening of the Gym which will be attended by our Vice claims to have sex once a week, and police officer next time you’re caught outside Jesters... Chancellor, Bill Wakeham. spends almost four times as much on PAGE 10 - In Chester you can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow *** One hour free for first-timers *** alcohol as books, according to a sur- This glut of health awareness showed on Sunday when Glen Eyre bar GOT A STORY: CALL NEWSDESK inside the city walls and after midnight. vey. Manchester University emerged - Watch it when you’re in Hereford though. You may not shoot a Welsh staff football team destroyed Monte’s Boiler House opposition 11-3. as having the highest proportion of 023 80 595230 person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close Five goals coming from the bar manager and captain, Si Cook. He was *** Student discounts *** [email protected] - In York, excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with heard to remark “Ha ha you Monte losers”. students who used drugs and had fre- a bow and arrow. (Do you sense a trend here? - Ed) quent sex. The Wessex Scene Online: - In Liverpool it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a by Imogen Hitchcock The Experience Has Begun ... http://wessexscene.co.uk clerk in a tropical fish store. IT ALL? 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:08 am Page 4

PAGE 4 Wessexscene.co.uk Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 5 “UNI-LINK SUCKS” SCREAM STRICKEN STUDENTS DARIUS Long queues at the bus stop and one and a half hour and I didn’t get “Nearly always people have to walk huge delays of buses have become any bus, I can’t believe the huge or wait another 30 min because the part of the daily routine for users of amount of lectures students miss buses are full.” - Sylvia Lange the uni-link service. Promises were every day because of the uni-link made about improvements, thanks service.” It seems that in order to rectify this, to a new timetable implemented on the drivers have started to turn up the 3rd February, but for Wessex Compared to the old timetable, the early. If anything this makes the Lane residents things only got duration of the trip to campus has problem worse as they then leave worse. more than doubled to now 40 min- early and more students end up utes. Walking from Highfield would missing out on transport into Those who are required to go to the be quicker and is definitely nicer in University. DARES Avenue Campus now face a much the sun, but thanks to the unpre- “Darius has been brought in to run in every longer journey due to the abolition dictable weather in England you are The change of frequency to half- position in these elections” of the route from Parkway Airport more likely to arrive soaked than hourly on this busy line serving A VOTE FOR to the Oceanography Centre via suntanned. Montefiore, Connaught and If you feel annoyed by the lack of [email protected]. Wessex Lane and the Avenue. They Stoneham Halls of Residence with- candidates in this years elections now have to go to the Interchange in The reduced service from Wessex out alternative is not an acceptable there is another candidate. We have Will Darius be doing a 2 finger RON IS A How it is.... Highfield and change buses. Lane to Highfield means that there service considering for money had Darius, infamous from pop idol, salute the union, that is your call. Unfortunately the two lines are not are more students trying to fit into forked out by the paying customers. flown in to run in every position. To coordinated and students found that fewer buses. The bus going at 20 The friendly drivers and the new vote for Darius put the number 1 VOTE FOR they were missing the bus to the past is usually overcrowded and evening service via Portswood to next to RON, and nothing else. The Avenue Campus by 5 minutes. They means you arrive to university Swaythling is only a small consola- RON indicates a vote for Darius then had to wait around for more much too early, the bus at 10 to tion. DARIUS than 20 minutes for the next sched- means there is always a danger of To read Darius’ election pledges uled bus. arriving late for lectures. More often Stefan Michler the wessex scene recommends you than not students are left on the send an email to One student, David Pérez, com- pavement, forced to walk into lec- plains, “One day I was waiting for tures because of a lack of room on the bus. Blue JOIN THE How it should be... skyThinking Students at Highfield Hall have stood and shared the frustration of WESSEX SCENE: contacted the WessexScene in a the students. The JCR were plan- bid to highlight their grievances ning to form events around items on at their JCR. The three (who the TV (e.g. the ongoing Olympic wished to remain anonymous) Games or Football Matches) contacted the paper through the “bureaucracy website (www.wessexscene.co.uk) There is a general meeting to be asking us to write a story on the held on the 26th February where the and red tape TEAMWORK apparently “incapable” JCR. students plan to speak to the JCR. An IT/Publications Product The Team However, they feel that “as usual of Business When the student’s arrived at the our grievances will fall upon deaf Edge Editor: Emmanuelle Smith halls they were made to pay a £45 ears.” The email continued, “We Services and Features: Kate Messer JCR fee. As part of this fee, SKY cannot be responsible for our TEAM Television was promised to the res- actions following this meeting.” Acting Editor: Darius Danesh idents of the Hall. Nearly 5 months SKY” Clubs & Socs: Fiona Cowood The WESSEX SCENE are looking for editors and later and still no sign of the satellite Stephen Edwards, Union President Alex Pordage package. The students were left and a former Highfield Hall JCR Joel Stobart: Darius Danesh bewildered as to what their money President told the WessexScene Editor in Chief: Peter Wood writers, email us on [email protected] had been spent on. “We had a similar problem 2 years Ron: Darius Danesh ago down to the incessant or go online to http://www.wessexscene.co.uk Speaking to JCR President of ‘passing of the buck’ Sports: Susannah Parker Highfield Halls, Alex Pordage, the around Hall 127F Sports: Christina Cooper WessexScene managed to shed Management, Wardens 6/7 EAST ABOVE BAR Union: Emma Webster some light on the dispute. It turns and Business Services, out that the issue of paying for the with SKY just being STREET STREET News: Imogen Hitchcock Wessex Scene SKY package is now out of the damnright awkward in Got a Story? Close to Brannigans Beside The Square New President: Darius Danesh SUSU hands of the JCR committee. This is trying to charge the Got an Angle? Highfield due to the rising costs of installing commercial raet, the ALWAYS OPENLATE Southampton the package into the halls. “It went same as a pub would pay, The views expressed Talk to Us. out of our hands and into the which is thousands of FEED A FRIEND FOR FREE! Advertising are those of the authors SO17 1BJ bureaucracy and red tape of pounds per year.” Buy any Footlong and A Large Drink and Get Vicky Horrigan and not necessarily Business Services and SKY. I’m Another Footlong of Equal or Lesser Value FREE! [email protected] those of the Students Phone: 02380 595230 campaigning as much as waiting for By Imogen Hitchcock Union Your Friend Must Accompany You. One voucher per person. [email protected] Fax: 02380 595252 this.” Alex continued that he under- 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:08 am Page 4

PAGE 4 Wessexscene.co.uk Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 5 “UNI-LINK SUCKS” SCREAM STRICKEN STUDENTS DARIUS Long queues at the bus stop and one and a half hour and I didn’t get “Nearly always people have to walk huge delays of buses have become any bus, I can’t believe the huge or wait another 30 min because the part of the daily routine for users of amount of lectures students miss buses are full.” - Sylvia Lange the uni-link service. Promises were every day because of the uni-link made about improvements, thanks service.” It seems that in order to rectify this, to a new timetable implemented on the drivers have started to turn up the 3rd February, but for Wessex Compared to the old timetable, the early. If anything this makes the Lane residents things only got duration of the trip to campus has problem worse as they then leave worse. more than doubled to now 40 min- early and more students end up utes. Walking from Highfield would missing out on transport into Those who are required to go to the be quicker and is definitely nicer in University. DARES Avenue Campus now face a much the sun, but thanks to the unpre- “Darius has been brought in to run in every longer journey due to the abolition dictable weather in England you are The change of frequency to half- position in these elections” of the route from Parkway Airport more likely to arrive soaked than hourly on this busy line serving A VOTE FOR to the Oceanography Centre via suntanned. Montefiore, Connaught and If you feel annoyed by the lack of [email protected]. Wessex Lane and the Avenue. They Stoneham Halls of Residence with- candidates in this years elections now have to go to the Interchange in The reduced service from Wessex out alternative is not an acceptable there is another candidate. We have Will Darius be doing a 2 finger RON IS A How it is.... Highfield and change buses. Lane to Highfield means that there service considering for money had Darius, infamous from pop idol, salute the union, that is your call. Unfortunately the two lines are not are more students trying to fit into forked out by the paying customers. flown in to run in every position. To coordinated and students found that fewer buses. The bus going at 20 The friendly drivers and the new vote for Darius put the number 1 VOTE FOR they were missing the bus to the past is usually overcrowded and evening service via Portswood to next to RON, and nothing else. The Avenue Campus by 5 minutes. They means you arrive to university Swaythling is only a small consola- RON indicates a vote for Darius then had to wait around for more much too early, the bus at 10 to tion. DARIUS than 20 minutes for the next sched- means there is always a danger of To read Darius’ election pledges uled bus. arriving late for lectures. More often Stefan Michler the wessex scene recommends you than not students are left on the send an email to One student, David Pérez, com- pavement, forced to walk into lec- plains, “One day I was waiting for tures because of a lack of room on the bus. Blue JOIN THE How it should be... skyThinking Students at Highfield Hall have stood and shared the frustration of WESSEX SCENE: contacted the WessexScene in a the students. The JCR were plan- bid to highlight their grievances ning to form events around items on at their JCR. The three (who the TV (e.g. the ongoing Olympic wished to remain anonymous) Games or Football Matches) contacted the paper through the “bureaucracy website (www.wessexscene.co.uk) There is a general meeting to be asking us to write a story on the held on the 26th February where the and red tape TEAMWORK apparently “incapable” JCR. students plan to speak to the JCR. An IT/Publications Product The Team However, they feel that “as usual of Business When the student’s arrived at the our grievances will fall upon deaf Edge Editor: Emmanuelle Smith halls they were made to pay a £45 ears.” The email continued, “We Services and Features: Kate Messer JCR fee. As part of this fee, SKY cannot be responsible for our TEAM Television was promised to the res- actions following this meeting.” Acting Editor: Darius Danesh idents of the Hall. Nearly 5 months SKY” Clubs & Socs: Fiona Cowood The WESSEX SCENE are looking for editors and later and still no sign of the satellite Stephen Edwards, Union President Alex Pordage package. The students were left and a former Highfield Hall JCR Joel Stobart: Darius Danesh bewildered as to what their money President told the WessexScene Editor in Chief: Peter Wood writers, email us on [email protected] had been spent on. “We had a similar problem 2 years Ron: Darius Danesh ago down to the incessant or go online to http://www.wessexscene.co.uk Speaking to JCR President of ‘passing of the buck’ Sports: Susannah Parker Highfield Halls, Alex Pordage, the around Hall 127F Sports: Christina Cooper WessexScene managed to shed Management, Wardens 6/7 EAST ABOVE BAR Union: Emma Webster some light on the dispute. It turns and Business Services, out that the issue of paying for the with SKY just being STREET STREET News: Imogen Hitchcock Wessex Scene SKY package is now out of the damnright awkward in Got a Story? Close to Brannigans Beside The Square New President: Darius Danesh SUSU hands of the JCR committee. This is trying to charge the Got an Angle? Highfield due to the rising costs of installing commercial raet, the ALWAYS OPEN LATE Southampton the package into the halls. “It went same as a pub would pay, The views expressed Talk to Us. out of our hands and into the which is thousands of FEED A FRIEND FOR FREE! Advertising are those of the authors SO17 1BJ bureaucracy and red tape of pounds per year.” Buy any Footlong and A Large Drink and Get Vicky Horrigan and not necessarily Business Services and SKY. I’m Another Footlong of Equal or Lesser Value FREE! [email protected] those of the Students Phone: 02380 595230 campaigning as much as waiting for By Imogen Hitchcock Union Your Friend Must Accompany You. One voucher per person. [email protected] Fax: 02380 595252 this.” Alex continued that he under- 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:08 am Page 6

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MYSTIC The Only MOG Horoscope for PORK-PIES Students “CHERIE ISN’T AND FAT LIES worth reading... The Worlds Number 1 Mature Dear Beryl, ber when my Tommy got his finger Student Agony Aunt I’ve developed a serious infatua- stuck in part of a rusty old bike, the OUR HANDY DESTINY TIPS: tion with pork-pies. I can’t stop only thing that would slide it out The Grad ball may hold the key to eating the things, two for break- was washing up liquid. Try that. If your dreams..... fast with a little milk, sliced pork- not, ring for the fire brigade, they pie sandwich with a pork-pie for always enjoy a bit of a giggle. Aries lunch, roast pork-pie and pork- Beryl An incident in a kebab shop will leave you feeling apprehensive. THE Consider the consequences of too much mayonnaise. pies for dinner followed by pork- pie and custard for desert. I man- Careful with your burger dressings Dear Beryl, aged to give up eating them for a Taurus week but started to salivate pro- A bloke on my course wears fusely in public. I ended up storm- funny clothes, in fact he looks a A fall from the stage on Academy’s dance floor may cause pain. A chance encounter outside the gents may sooth this. ing into a bakery and forcing bit like a clown. He makes his own Don’t walk like an Egyptian for too long pork-pies into my mouth in the clothes, especially huge, flared, window display. Not only was I green cordrouy trousers which he Gemini ONLY Dear Beryl, arrested I’ve now been banned wears with braces. I want to point My housemate is behaving very A housemate may reveal their true feelings for you this week. This will from the City Centre for breach out the error of his ways, to tell either be very good or very bad. Don’t let them share your cereal before strangely; he keeps referring to of the peace. I need to get my him what’s right, and what’s not! the issue is fully resolved. me as Number One. He’s pork-pie problem under control. Have you got the number for the Confessions will come like yoghurt; thick and fast rearranged our living room with Can you help? fashion police? This guy needs a all the chairs round the table Pork-pie. serious talking to. Cancer wired up to the mains and he Anon. An incident in the flooded union toilets may lead to some embarrassment. strokes the cat while we eat our Dear Pork-pie, An early night may be on the cards. Expect a chance meeting with a ONE dinner as his hand hovers over a Breach of the peace? Breach of the Dear Anon., stranger who shares your difficulties. set of buttons with our seat num- pie more like. It’s the same as smok- Well, I bet you’re straight of the A spillage changes events for the better bers on. Also he’s recently con- ing, first you have to want to stop. fashion pages of Vogue yourself are structed an underground lair in Well, no one ever does do they? So you? Sounds to me like your one of Leo the garage and plans to use it as then you have to be scared into those girls who mince about in You may die this week. All steps should be taken to avoid this. Don’t go his headquarters to take over the stopping by a good health scare. Try badly fitting leggings and a huge out, have shallow baths and be careful what you eat. Good luck Leo, world. What should I do? He watching fat-club on TV, that fleece telling everyone else what to remember even paper cuts can be fatal. Keep sharp cutlery out of harms way seemed fairly normal last year. should be a scare enough for most wear. I know the sort. Your little BEING Nicola pie lovers. What you really need friend may look like a clown, but Virgo though is the world famous ‘Beryl’s does he behave like one too? If so, You may be subject to a cavity search this week. Ask yourself how you Dear Nicola, cut-out-and-keep get off the pies why don’t you pack him off to join This is quite a common phase that ended up in the position. Try to avoid looking nervous at customs. diet plan’. It goes like this; the circus? The smell of Vaseline may be with you for many years some people (mainly men) go Beryl through. It’s called the “planning to Libra take over the world by forming a Be careful what you drink. There may be someone seeking to get you on special executive for counterintelli- Day 1. Dear Beryl, the floor. Trust no one, unless you wish to end up in a compromising posi- gence, terrorism, revenge, and SCREWED BY Cut down on the pies slowly, I was in the Academy a few weeks tion. extortion in your garage using your introducing healthier alterna- ago and met an amazing girl. I A sip of the wrong brew may cause horizontalness housemates as unwilling hench- tives into your diet like chips said I’d call her, and did and we men” syndrome. Your friend seems and maybe the odd pasty. planned to go out for a drink. But Scorpio to exhibit all the classic symptoms. Day 2. before this could happen she’d Your subconscious thoughts reveal themselves to all in the near future. A psychologist friend of mine Dr Experiment with beans and got back together with her ex- This leads to a disastrous chain of events. Wallawallawalla feels that from spaghetti. boyfriend! I thought we had a Act now to stop your life looking like a domino rally here things can develop in two Day 3. really good time and can’t believe ways; 1) your housemate grows up Sagittarius Move on to tinned fruit and how shite this has worked out. I and things return to normal, or 2) he angel delight. now find myself getting stupidly Cover your tracks carefully if you want your porn habit to remain secret. does try and take over the world, the Leave the old brown mac at home and only watch the videos when Day 4. drunk in IKON, pulling random good old U.S of A drop a big fat everyone else is out. Eat only fruit, vegetables and girls I don’t like then getting in a bomb on your little house and take Keep your hands on show to prove your intentions wholemeal bread, drink 10 shit mood and moaning all night. over the world themselves. litres of water. What can I do to sort this out? My Hope this is some comfort, Capricorn friends are going to disown me. Beryl Learn to wait at zebra crossings, you may meet someone who changes Anon. your life. It may also stop you getting run over. Following this strategy you should A helping hand from the crossing lady may prove fortuitous be able to cut right down, saving Dear Anon., Dear Beryl, pies for special occasions only. Deary deary me. You’re not a happy Aquarius On the 20th February 2002 an esti- Downing Street and into Trafalgar I’ve got this problem...... I find Good luck pork-pie. chap are you. Drinking too much is Make sure you stretch well this week. Too much stiffness may cause mated 16,000 students descended Square (something that has never myself getting pissed on a bottle Beryl probably only going to make you embarrassment while you walk. on central London (although only been allowed during the middle of of wine every night waiting for my P.S. Nothing like a good pie though feel worse. What you need is more Make like a rubber band and all will be yours 43 of these were from Southampton the week before) boyfriend to roll in stoned off his is there? CAKE. Whenever I’m feeling down TONY”- this if anything, is a great show of face. The thing is, I could be going I bake myself a nice sponge, thick Pisces the apathetic mind set synonymise As the city came to a standstill, out with a different guy. What do jam and sometimes even a bit of Many elements combine this week to give your life new focus. A visit to with our students?) This was not a passers by voiced their support you think? Dear Beryl, icing. Maybe some chocolate the opticians may the defining moment. communal shopping trip (for most!) (including one mad old woman L.C. HELP HELP. Me and my girl- brownies or a slice of carrot cake is All will become clear if events proceed as the heavens predict but a show of their anger at the abo- who practically kidnapped two friend were at it and now we’re what you need to straighten yourself lition of grants and the implementa- Southampton University Students) Dear L.C., stuck together!!! Like dogs!!! out, always does me the power of tion of tuition fees. Another noticeable thing about the It’s like cars hon. You’ve got to Send HELP!!! good. How about a crossword or rally was the huge police presence trade-up. Andy & Kirsty jigsaw puzzle? Go on! Cheer up you The march meandered through the that lined the route. Generally the Email your problems to Beryl miserable git. most high profile route seen in gen- march was peaceful, with only a Dear Andy & Kirsty, Beryl [email protected] erations of protest goers. A path that couple of students causing trouble. Seems you’ve got yourselves in a passed by the Houses of Parliment, bit of a pickle doesn’t it? I remem- 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:08 am Page 6

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Come and see what a future with Shell might hold; a paid placement gives you real ing five year old with little civil officers are sadly not. The NUS co- engineering training) it would have ordinator, whose name I cannot EDITORIAL responsibility and a chance to test your abilities on genuine business challenges. made a large amount of sense… to mention as he may, unbelievably, be THE Well it is that time again, I am sit- To ensure that you get the maximum benefit, your placement will be tailored to your lay BEFORE finishing everything standing for election, has failed on ting in front of the computer won- off! so many occasions to make it to dering what words of wisdom to specific abilities and interests and include two-way evaluation. Exec and Council meetings that he Things have been hotting up in the POLITICAL impart, and my thoughts are pretty As part of a global company, you may also have the chance to work outside your runs the risk of losing his position! Union recently. Whenever words much non existent!?! Just an obser- A forked tongue told me this is home country. See what you’re capable of, gain some real experience... like "elections" start being bandied vation to make that I am sure all of because he spends too much time about, knives are sharpened all over you that in your final year students …and see whether you and Shell could have a long-term relationship! selling Red Star in St Denys, but the the campus! One of the most burn- will agree with. Why is it now that truth of this is yet to be confirmed. ing issues discussed in Council has you have more work than ever to Either way, I want to know how can been the phrase "to flyer". This is a do including endless essays and he be taken seriously as a candidate. They’re excavating the Library transitive verb meaning to leave dissertations that tutors suddenly again! After laying turf and paving, obscene quantities of quarter A4 One of the fastest rumours con- decide that they have not been giv- it seemed that we were perilously pieces of paper in lecture theatres cerned Emma Webster and whether SLOTWelcome to the second edition of ing you enough work and that now The Political Slot. Last issue I close to an end to the quagmire out- and other public places. It prompts she would run for VP Comms. It is the time for them to pile it on promised to deliver information side "Club Hartley". Any optimism debate that runs throughout the was thought she may usher in a new (answers on a postcard). relating to local politics in particu- was short lived however, for the elections, whether lecture theatres era of conservatism (big C or little lar views and opinions of the three beautiful work that was tantalising- are off limits, should the flyers be c?), but sadly nothing came of it. Anyway, running out of time to major parties in Southampton an in ly close to completion has been dug double sided and so on. So much for finish writing this, just to remind addition to this the views of the up to lay pipes and assorted para- universities as hot-beds of environ- The lumbering campaign machinery you, if you hadn’t already ready mental awareness… of the leading alternative is enough Socialist Alliance Party, however realised from the vast amount of phernalia that (according to a pass- only two have replied It was reported here recently just to scare anyone off. But she is kinda the paper that has been taken up by (Conservative Party and Socialist how active Kate Holmes is. Other sexy, in a dangerous sort of a it, that election time is here way…. Alliance) so hopefully that will be AGAIN! including in the next issue, as the remaining two parties may have No doubt you will know what is The Presidents Diary replied by then. coming next, but I will say it just the same, the elections for Read the full version online at http://wessexscene.co.uk So, as an alternative The Slot will Sabbatical Officers really does consider an issue that appears to be 22nd January James. Amongst more serious ques- "Troops out of Afghanistan". After a make a difference. They will growing in size as each election I am sure there are more than the tions I asked "Why have we been great deal of effort I learnt that his affect what goes on within the occurs. What may that be I hear usual number of opening ceremonies sent Holocaust Memorial Day Beer plan was essentially, 1) All troops out Union and therefore will affect you ask? it is the theory ELEC- and buffet lunches to attend. The Mats, a week after the occasion, with (because they are ‘Imperialist’ each and every one of you, so take TIONS = STUDENT APATHY. increasingly large overhang above a cover letter claiming that it is ‘fol- troops); 2) A workers ‘uprising’ the opportunity and use your right my belt can certainly attest to this but low up material after the event’. Did (when I pointed out to him that there to vote on either the12th or 13th Whether elections take place with- also my increasing awareness of the someone make a mistake on the were probably no ‘workers’ in March (Polling stations will be in the University or at a Local, number of celebrities I have never delivery times?". The answer equat- Afghanistan this was refined to "a located throughout the University, National or even European wide before heard of. The Golden Jubilee ed to a rather convoluted – "No" workers uprising in neighbouring at the Main Campus and Satellite level students, or those ranging Garden opening ceremony was states such as Saudi Arabia"); 3) sites.) 8th February from18-24, are constantly high- another of these occasions and, hav- Redistribution of all of the land in ing never seen the TV programme It is always sad when a member of lighted as a group of voters that do Afghanistan to the ‘people’ (not Until next time keep smiling, ‘Groundforce’, I had to ask someone staff leaves but even more so when not exercise their democratic right ‘workers’ I assume). I finally asked to point out who the ‘TV star’ they have served SUSU for 15 years to vote. whether he had ever visited the Emma x "Tommy" was. The assembled as in the case of Brian, the former region – "No" – or an Arabic country crowd of Senior University officials, Head porter. The fundamental question is why is "No". I suggested that might be a including the Chancellor: Earl Of this the case, and what can be done 21st February good start. Selbourne, Vice-Chancellor, and After spending last week in bed to change the situation? what the party stands for, this there- most of the External Relations Another newspaper salesman I spoke fore solves the first problem, of recuperating from flu I wasn’t best to was convinced that the problems Department, were introduced to They say knowledge is power and information. placed to spend a few hours march- in the UK are down to a lack of David Billings, the University Head in the case of elections this is true. ing around a cold central London. democracy, "we should elect the Gardener (and he is quite a pin-up Many students when questions as As to the others, it is very hard to Nevertheless I did my duty and a Police", he proclaimed. according to the Ladies in the Union to whether they vote or not often persuade someone to vote when coach full of Southampton & Anyway, we passed the London Eye, General Office). reply that it is not important to they believe that they do not have Unfortunately most people missed Winchester School of Art students Portcullis House, Big Ben and final- them or that they simply do not time to, however everyone is affect- the answer to Tommy’s question – joined the marchers assembled in ly Downing Street where the ‘rent-a- have the time. However this is ed on a daily basis as the result of "why was the grass turfed and not Malet street next to the University of protest’ mob decided to sit down often not the truth and the real rea- who is elected into a position, be it seeded, it being a lot cheaper?" to London Union. We knew we were whilst the assembled police looked son behind an individual not voting within the University or on a wider which the elderly gardener answered getting close to the march by the on. "They’ll all get piles" said one is because they do not feel as scale. "Well, that was before Maggie increasing number of soap dodging, Police officer we chatted to whilst though they know enough to make Thatcher and we had lots of money whippet owning, Socialist Workers we waited for the congestion to clear Thinking about a better future? an informed decision and therefore With the Union elections only a then". trying to sell us newspapers with "they are always here, you can spot headlines that tended to include choose not to vote, believing that couple of weeks away I urge you all www.shell.com/careers 5th February the trouble makers a mile off. You headlines with combinations of the they are registering the fact that to take a minute or two out of your Today was another occasion where never see any of them campaign for words "Blair" "Tony" and "fuck". I none of the parties have persuaded time on either the 12th or 13th under the auspices of ‘NUS an increase in Police pay". was particularly interested to talk to them to vote for them so they are March, it will make all of the differ- Business’ I wasted a day by travel- Finally we reached Trafalgar Square a very small chap who looked about not going to turn out to support ence to the way in which the Union ling up to Reading University where a combination of the cold and seventeen who tried to sell me a them. operates next year. Students Union for another NUS an entirely uninspiring speech from paper that wasn’t marked ‘Socialist Regional Conference. I thought the the NUS President sent most of us Workers". He was a ‘Spartacist’ and On a local and national level each REMEMBER; if you don’t like the day was most typified by the ques- into the warmth of the nearest pub. Visit our website or your Careers Service for an application form or telephone 0845 600 1819. I was eager to learn about what this of the main parties have a website way things are done you have the tion and answer session with mem- All in all an entirely uninspiring day meant. He went quiet when I asked that can be accessed to find out power to change them, don’t com- ber of the NUS National Executive - it must have been more exciting Applications welcomed from students of all disciplines in their penultimate year of study. Closing date: 11th March, 2002. him to explain it so I asked him more about what is going on within plain after the event, be pro-active including the NUS President, Owain than this in my parents’ day… about the headline on his paper the party in addition to finding out and vote, make a difference! 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:08 am Page 8

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Who do you want? Position: VP Student Activities Candidates Position: Presidential Candidates If elected, I will: - Raise profile of Clubs & Socs and Athletic Union

If elected I will: - Continue to campaign for improved sports facilities (dance studio, martial arts space, climbing facility and outdoor centres at Wide Lane and at the Boat Hard) - Oversee a successful building conversion, creating a union that you’re proud to come to. - Re-structure course representation. The Union is too complacent about your education. - Continue to further the development of recreational opportunities at Sites and their available facilities - Be more ambitious at securing money from the University. - Remember all our students, post-grads, part-timers, mature and international students are under represented. - Campaign for Improved and specialised Performing Arts Space - Stop the university from calling us customers and start treating us like partners. - Campaign for an improved Uni link service to Sport and Rec. facilities

Kevin Bradley - Acquire sponsorship for the Athletic Union and Clubs and Societies

I am the best person for this post because: Tiger DeSouza - Regularly liase with all Clubs to aid their development and further my understanding of their needs

The Union is moving fast and we need someone strong to steer it. The building refurbishments won’t just radically change the building, but will - To campaign to have charges waived for Clubs & Socs when booking rooms for performances & rehearsals. force us to change the way the Union works. I want us to ambitious. Our pubs and clubs can compete with those in town. We can have a course rep system that works. And we can secure a bigger grant from the university. I have gained a great deal of experience working in the union. and none of - Improved Volunteer Support & Recognition through Training sessions via the STARS scheme e.g. (Understanding the other candidates has as much experience of representing you to the University. I have no time for gossip and games. I will get the job done. Accounts) and dedicated Surgery hours to help with any problems

I am the best person for this post because: If elected I will: I have already been Vice President (Athletic Union) for a year and this means that I already know half the job. With this being the first year of the Make decisions in the best interest of all of us, unbiased by the policies of any political party. I will strengthen the new post I feel that it is essential to have someone who has either been Vice President (AU) or Clubs and Socs officer to ensure the successful join- involvement of students within the Student’s Union; whether that be through drinking in the bar or becoming a mem- ing of the departments. Continuity is key. I have also had an active involvement with both areas. While my sporting interests and involvement is ber of council. This will be achieved by: well known; I have also sat on PAU this year and continued my five year involvement with SUSU Theatre Group. As a sabbatical I have attended - Listening to your suggestions, comments and criticisms. numerous training courses and the Students Union has invested a lot of money in my professional development. By re-electing me you get better - Better advertising the opportunities available and making them more accessible value for your money. I have developed strong links with University depts and have successfully completed my Manifesto objectives from last year - Providing entertainment and bar prices that more then rival those on offer in the town and more besides including the creation of a Colours Ball, the Academy nights and the removal of astro turf charges. I have given a lot this year, but - Publicising our facilities and introducing a corporate identity across all buildings and the sites and ensuring that non I have been learning the job. I know that I can give more to Student Activities. I have already been working on the introduction of a centralised han- of the sites are overlooked or neglected. dover program this year to benefit both Clubs and Socs and AU Officers. I am committed to the forward development of this department and have - Promising that all students will have an equal opportunity to experience fully the benefits of being a member of the experience, dedication and enthusiasm to offer Student’s at Southampton. Student’s Union. Tim Rowlandson I will do everything in my power to make our time at University everything we want an expect it to be. If elected I will: Support - Help increase income by sponsorship, for the Athletic Union (AU), Clubs and Societies (Socs) and individual clubs/societies - Provide better support for disabled students to help them participate in Clubs & Sports. I am the best person for this post because: - Use my diverse experience to improve support of Clubs, Sports and Societies ( I have participated in at least 40 of the activities available) - Additional support for minority activities - More time to be spent in the office to deal with your queries/problems. Before coming to University I took two gap-years, one of which consisted of engineering training with the government. This experience taught me the - Make a fund available to help clubs with financial problems. skills necessary to lead a team of people to achieve top results for the best value for money. When I started at University I expected a lot of the - Training and support to be provided to club officers. - Weekly A3 poster bulletin to be placed on the main notice board at all sites, informing of all events in that week. Student’s Union, in terms of social life, sports and support. Through becoming involved I was asked to act as Vice President (Communications) in the - Better communication with other universities interregnum before the bye-election earlier this year. In this time I came to realise how deeply I care about the running of the Student’s Union, and - More consultation with club officers over issues relevant to their Clubs - Give new treasurers chance to approve budgets before they are finally approved at committee ensuring that it provides all the resources necessary for everyone to get the most of their time at University. My other gap-year was spent working - Additional Support for Clubs still suffering due to past Foot and Mouth Crisis with street children in Central America giving me an opportunity to learn the needs of a wide range of people from all backgrounds. I will use the Facilities - Make sure there are adequate facilities for all clubs following the Union refurbishment (including replacement of lost facilities such as climbing wall, martial arts space experience gained before coming to Southampton to build a greater sense of community, caring and commitment amongst all of us. and ballroom) - Campaign for booking fees to be scraped for room bookings for practices and rehearsals - Negotiate to reduce external hire costs for clubs (e.g. Running Track and Ski Slope ) - Campaign for a new sprung floor for Dance and Martial Arts clubs - Sort out facilities and room bookings for Martial Arts clubs. Transport If elected I will: - Improve transport to and from all sites to facilitate participation in sports, inc. campaign to improve Uni-link - Campaign for free transport from all sites to take part in activities (Inc. Winchester and Basingstoke) Promises - Vastly improve events, including a Celebrity launch party the New Building - Promise I will not to get too involved with external bodies such as BUSA as they are time consuming and detrimental to Southampton Students - Give clubs option of Academy or Jesters on AU night (I have agreed a deal with Jesters) - Actively seek YOUR input to make the Union work for YOU - Liase with Wessex Scene editorial team to improve Clubs and Socs and AU pages. - Extend library opening hours - Unbiased representation of all types of Club (I am a member of a main stream sport, a minority sport and two societies) Dave Martin - Set up a system of recognition of individual efforts within Clubs and Socs (similar to AU Club Colours) - Look at installing a mobile phone signal booster in the Union Building - Reduction of kit prices to save club members money. - Improve our Student Services - Campaign for reduced sports card costs for students spending time away from Southampton on placement - Be an accessible President and make regular trips to all Sites - Better communication with clothing companies - Strengthen links with the Department of Sport and Recreation (DSR). - Improved bar atmosphere - introduce bar games Table football, Darts etc - Fair distribution of resources and time amongst Clubs, Sports and Societies. - Create more meeting areas and specialised training space for Student Clubs Sites - Make it easier for Winchester School of Art to take part in activities, in Winchester and in Southampton - Improve fitness centre at SOC and Halls Of Residence (Wessex Lane, New College) - Help sites to secure onsite facilities ( E.g. at Winchester, Avenue etc) Phil Williams - Fight for Uni link refunds for all who want them - Campaign for replacement sports equipment at SOC. Changes - Change the Student Activities Freshers week to a Freshers fortnight, inc. refreshers activities for non first years - Re-organise team trials so that they are on staggered datesSupport - Help increase income by sponsorship, for the Athletic Union (AU), Clubs and Societies (Socs) and individual clubs/societies I am the best person for this post because: - Provide better support for disabled students to help them participate in Clubs & Sports.

So why should you vote for me? Not many of you know me, so why should I be entrusted with the job of developing and managing your Union? • I am the best person for this post because: Simple. I respect the fact that it is your Union. I have been involved in the Student’s Union during all three years of my degree and I have noticed its main weakness - we do not give its members enough scope to comment, to criticise and to decide its future. I want to change all that. I believe pas- I believe that whoever takes the new post of Vice President Student Activities has to have the following qualities: they have to have a diverse back- sionately that the members have more to offer this Union and given the opportunity I would actively seek to engage the membership more in the ground as there are over 150 different clubs/societies represented; they need to be hard working as they will be responsible for managing two large Union’s running. departments; they must be organised, because if they’re not the departments will cease to function; they have to be experienced to have a firm grasp of the role; they must be dedicated to the support of students; they need to be a good communicator as they are dealing with over 10,000 members and I want to get rid of the clique. I will reform the suggestion and complaints procedures. Will be easily accessible. I will introduce more events etc most importantly they have to be easily approachable. I believe that I am the most suitable candidate for the job as I have all the above qualities (as where members chose what they want! And most importantly I will be proactive. Will ask you what you like, what you hate and more importantly demonstrated by my experience list) and just as importantly I am fair and unbiased. This is due to my interests in a variety of sports, clubs and how we should change the situation. I will fight for you and give decent feedback. societies. I also feel that having been the Deputy Vice President (AU) for a year, I have gained a firm understanding of the challenges ahead and would now be like to be given the opportunity to tackle them fully. SUSU Elections 2002 This is a huge task that needs to be addresses across the board. I recognise the weakness and I have the experience, ability and enthusiasm to change SUSU Elections 2002 the situation! 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:08 am Page 10

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Who do you want? Position: VP Student Activities Candidates Position: Presidential Candidates If elected, I will: - Raise profile of Clubs & Socs and Athletic Union

Kevin Bradley - Acquire sponsorship for the Athletic Union and Clubs and Societies

I am the best person for this post because: Tiger DeSouza - Regularly liase with all Clubs to aid their development and further my understanding of their needs

PAGE 12 Wessexscene.co.uk Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 13 VP Education & Welfare Candidates! They Think It’s All If elected I will:

- Continue campaigns regarding sensible drinking and safer sex already running successfully - Work to keep Wednesday afternoons free for student activities and sport Over! - Run-anti stress events around exams, such as relaxation days and workshops - Attempt to increase the library’s opening hours especially during the exams Name:Matthew Name:Gareth - Attempt to widen participation in the Students’ Union to include all satellite site, and also underrepresented groups Degree:Law Degree:Accounting and Finance WX such as mature and overseas students Plans for after Uni: Plans for after Uni: - Work with VP Student Activities to widen access to sports and activities Do the LPC and either get a train- Take a year out, go sailing with Forward your responsesS to [email protected] - Continue negotiations with the University regarding Hall fees, to ensure all students pay for what they use and not ing contract in the UK or go back Sunsail and work as an instructor. additional costs such as bus passes to Jersey and take the local exams. Then go skiing, but no definite Cat Brown - Wherever possible campaign for the re-introduction of the grant and the abolition of tuition fees Advice to first years: plans yet! Hopefully get a job Name: Zahra Would you do the Don’t worry about it, it doesn’t through Sunsail somewhere in Degree: English same degree France. Then start work in again? I am the best person for this post because: Name: Ed count! Degree: Maths with finance September with one of the big five Plans for after Uni: Yes, but I’d proba- accounting firms in Reading. bly spend a year I have had a great deal of experience in the Students’ Union over the past four years. I have been involved in Equal Opportunities, Welfare, Clubs & Plans for after Uni: I’m staying here to abroad somewhere Societies and many areas and feel that this involvement will allow me to bring valuable expertise to the position of VP (Education and Welfare). Six months work placement abroad Advice to first years: do a Masters, and nice and sunny like with AIESEC. (Student-run organi- Enjoy the lack of work while it then after that I’m lasts!!! hoping to jet off to Spain! If elected I will: sation aiming to provide work placements in management, finance Would you do the same degree Japan to teach What would you English as a foreign Seek greater Union involvement in the Education side of university life; liaise with course/site reps to try and gain and economics in over fifty coun- again? change about the language out there greater understanding of current student concerns. Work to ensure representatives have a good understanding, + back- tries world-wide). Then three month No- but I don’t know what I’d do university? for a year. After that, up, to help them to effectively represent union interests stay in France. instead. Advice to first years: What would you change about the who knows...?!! I like the idea of Abolish Poundstretcher!! It’s terri- travelling around and teaching Seek a constructive relationship with business services/unilink, to gain greater co-operation attempting to use fully Do as much as you can. university? ble! English. forums for representing student interests The union and sport track. What will you miss about the uni- Would you do the same degree Advice to second years: What will you miss about univer- Advice to first years: versity? again? If you can get through the first Consult widely to attempt improved awareness of union campaigns + services, such as SAIC. sity? Make the most of it; it only gets The Hartly Library of course!! Yes and no. Its not anyone’s idea of year, you can get through the sec- My friends, and going out. worse after that! Seriously- enjoy, Nope, just kidding- I’ll miss my fun, however it will turn out to be ond year. Will Ellis because there’s plenty of time for friends, obviously, and having the beneficial for me in keeping options Would you do the same degree work in the next two years! freedom to do random things like I am the best person for this post because: open as I have no idea what I want again? going to TGI’s for dessert at 10:30 to do later in life. Initially I was Advice to second years: Yes, but I would combine it with at night! I think I’ll miss being able As a law student, I am used to rapidly assimilating large amounts of information, and acting upon it. My degree has also given me opportunity to undecided between finance and Get some work done now, otherwise another subject like politics. to walk five minutes down the road improve my public speaking. I am unafraid to seek advice, ideas, and ask questions when I come across problems. architecture/sculpture. your third year will be even more of What would you change about a nightmare! to the Union Shop and find What would you change about the the university? absolutely anything I need too! My council and committee experience has given me an understanding of how the Union works and how it is best employed to gain results. After rep- university? The face on the union bar staff, resenting at various NUS events, I know I am strongly placed to put across Union concerns at a national level, and to use NUS campaigns effectively The miserable city in which we are cheer up. for the benefit of our students. based! What will you miss about the What will you miss about univer- university? Easy Riders! sity? The complete lack of structure to It is Now! Friends my day! If elected I will: If you are in your last year of University have your last moments of fame! WSX is looking for student’s in their last year to take over from the first years of Freshers Street. The aim is to - Encourage the Wessex Scene to continue to be a lively, reader friendly student newspaper cover different experiences of the end being in sight! It will take five minutes of your time! If you are - Establish an efficient second hand university textbook website interested e-mail [email protected] - Increase the No. of Wessex Scene/Edge takeover nights of the Union - Campaign to increase the ease of bands performing in the Union - Fully support further Radio monthly FM licenses for SURGE Love is...Racist, - Improve facilities of Satellite sites e.g.change, newspaper and cigarette machines - Help develop feelings of unity between sites, including Winchester - Make Union facilities and services, such as Nightline and RAG, more accessible to students through promotion and publicity - Provide a functional and accurate Union Website Homophobic KateMesser - Be easily accessible to students, guarentee to reply to e-mail quieries promptly (VP Comms) - I am the best person for this post because: - Abilty to communicate effectively in a team Faye Daniels emanate from within specific con- uality violates the most fundamental - Experience of producing publicity and publications fines of race, gender, religion, age, principles of international human - Excellent planning and organisational skills class, cast, weight or any other cate- rights law. To Amnesty, this belief - Good knowledge of the Media Deptartments but with the advantage of being able to bring fresh blood to the Union gory we care to align our prejudices is equally applicable to the discrim- Plato would argue that when we fall to. Despite this, some people are ination on ethnic or religious in love it’s with an image of our still persecuted for who they are or grounds suffered by mixed-race If elected I will: ideal person at that time. Aristotle’s indeed for whom they fall in love couples across the globe. more ‘Bridget Jones-esque’ view is with. More people now feel able to Uphold and enhance the Unions everyday running through the day, events in the evenings and constant good atmos- that we love the person we’re with come out as gay, lesbian, bisexual Valentine’s Day has now come and phere. I will continue to fight for on going Union benefits; such as sound proofing and the licenses in the Union just as they are. Some would say or transsexual, but prejudiced reac- gone. Some of us may be excited Building. that love itself is asexual, whilst tions can still sometimes be engen- radical feminist thought would have trying to fathom the identity of a dered in society in relation to a per- secret admirer, whilst others may I will fight for students’ needs! us believe that it is merely an ando- son’s sexual orientation. Recently, just be glad that the commercial rig- centric notion to subordinate Amnesty International has taken up women and maintain a patriarchal marole is over for another year. cases in Ecuador and Egypt in Regardless of our personal views on society. What love is, is really a which it is feared gay rights are Harry George Walker tediously age old philosophical the principle of one day, February (VP Winchester) being contravened. In 1998, AI 14th, one thing we should try to question. But whatever it is helped to free a Romanian prisoner deemed to be in any given space or remember throughout the whole I am the best person for this post because: of conscience, Mariana Cetiner, year is this: time, one thing love is not, or at who had been detained solely on the least should not be, is conditional. Love doesn’t discriminate, so why I have gained knowledge of how the Union Bar is run from working at the Union. I have learnt about students’ problems and how to address them grounds of her sexuality. Amnesty should we?

SUSU Elections 2002 through being Vice President of Fine Art Representative. These positions have allowed me to over view how the whole system works. believes that the vilification and The feeling of love does not only persecution of persons for their sex- 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:08 am Page 12

PAGE 12 Wessexscene.co.uk Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 13 VP Education & Welfare Candidates! They Think It’s All If elected I will:

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YES NO Rocking the suburbs... February 28th 2002 Is it Right to Continue Genetic Cloning? Photo: Emmanuelle Smith Adam Charlton struggle between races, would Lena Martin However it may be used by us for you...” Jeremiah 1 v 4-5 become an obsolete theory in the good or evil purposes. Still largely It is not right to artificially assist in Cloning marks a bold step into a new ‘clone age’ as a single pure race In the early hours of the 10th in it’s experimental phase, there are the creation of one child at the new frontier of scientific discov- would, after the initial transitory October 2001 the first human benefits to be gained from such expense of a hundred others. All ery, which will help safeguard the phase, harmonise human existence embryos were cloned at the technology but as well as the possi- life is precious in God’s eyes. We long-term existence of mankind. In throughout the world. Advanced Cell Technology ble uses we need to consider the have a responsibility to defend 1995, the birth of two lambs from Laboratory, Massachusetts, these cost of reaching those ends. those that cannot defend them- cloned cells at the Rosalin Institute Ak. Hitler embryos were the size of pin pricks selves. God’s love does not differ- set a new precedent in the progres- with no arms, legs or facial features, Pioneers in genetic cloning Zavos entiate between the able and the sion of human evolution, and but regardless of their size I do not and Antinori claim to be able to disable, if we decide to, then we thrust us into a new era of revolu- believe this is morally acceptable. “quality control” embryos, choos- will have to deal with all the con- tionary opportunities in biological Dave Williams Why do we reserve the right to play ing only “healthy ones”. Selection sequences. and medical fields. Cloning will God? of embryos involves rejection of give us the ability to create a vari- Medical science has always pushed human life subjective to human ety of benefits for medical science the limits of what society deems Most companies stress that the decision. What qualifies us to make as well as offering answers to crit- ethically and morally acceptable. interest in human cloning is not to that decision, especially at a life Sarah Allen ical biological questions. Examples of this can be found do with cloning people but to tackle stage where it is impossible to pre- throughout the 20th century espe- the ravages of disease and old age. dict who or what that embryo will Whether the development of Thousands of people die every cially as the advancements that we This view is somewhat contradicto- become. This surely asks funda- embryonic stem cell treatment year whilst waiting for heart, liver have seen in the last one hundred ry by maverick would be cloners mental questions about whether we using cloning is ethically accept- and kidney replacements to years has been remarkable, proba- such as Severino Antinori, an Italian can value one person above anoth- able or not depends on whether become available. Imagine a world bly the most obvious is the legalisa- scientist who is quite frighteningly er? To reject a person based on a embryos are persons. where every hospital had instant tion in the 60’s of abortion and the determined to pioneer in the field of genetic abnormality within society access to these resources. A world right to choose, other developments human cloning for fame and for- is no longer accepted, does the This is a much-debated topic. It devoid of transplant waiting lists. like the ability to transplant organs tune. So who is right? Do these moral ground on this debate change cannot be debated, however, that It has been argued that the idea of also came up against strong opposi- embryos indicate a world with mir- at different life stages? an embryo is a genetically distinct growing human embryos is deeply tion, both are now common place in acle cures, or a world with disas- living organism. But, is this a per- disturbing in an ethical sense. our society. trous, uncontrollable, reproductive Those embryos that are selected less son, or just a bunch of cells that are However, there is evidence to sug- cloning that should be prevented? than 1% of embryos survive, so that at the scientists’ disposal? Can gest that embryos are merely a We are coming to a time where we is 99 embryos dead for every one human beings be divided into body cluster of cells. Therefore they are are going to be able to treat and pos- There are serious medical, political, that lives. Dolly the sheep, the first and soul? If so, when does the soul not in fact, actual ‘human beings’. sibly cure some of the most debili- religious and moral criticism that man-made clone, was the one suc- enter the body? The Bible teaches tating diseases that afflict mankind. should be considered. An example cess in 247 pregnancies. Research that body and soul are intricately Cloning is also essential in the To be able to remove tissue from a is Dolly the sheep; she has prema- also shows that those that do sur- connected, and the biblical word long-term preservation of the human and using that material to ture arthritis, which nobody knows vive develop abnormalities or are ‘soul’ includes the body. Some human race. As was written in create new organs that would be the cause of. Is this what we want born with genetic deformities. people believe that to be a person Germany at the close of the 1920s; totally accepted by the body without for humans? Do we seriously want Christianity cannot condone techno- we need to have rationality, or be ‘We all sense that in the distant the need for expensive and possibly to be eating the meat of cloned ani- logical advances at the expense of able to communicate. But no one future humanity must be faced by harmful (due to the risk of other mals and cooking cloned vegeta- human life. Genetic cloning threat- would class a baby - or even a tod- problems which only a highest infections), immuno-supressants is bles? ens both life itself and the quality of dler -as a ‘non-person’; both have race...will be equipped to over- mind-blowing. We must not dismiss life, should a pregnancy be success- the potential to acquire them. come.’ Cloning will thus help this technology out of hand as We as a population are effectively ful. realise the idea of ‘eugenics’ and seems to be the consensus with being used as human guinea-pigs ‘Personhood’ is a gift from God - the eventual creation of a ‘Master much of the media coverage along for this type of manufactured and For some the very fact that these are so we cannot look at any embryo Race’. Cloning could create a new with certain governments. Society essentially dangerous food and it embryos, rather than recognisable and say with certainty that they are breed of super-human, genetically needs to allow these scientists the suggests a future where prospective human life, allows science to treat not a person in God’s sight. There pure, devoid of any disease and freedom to really find out what the parents have the opportunity to them with the same respect as a lab is no scientific test that can prove equipped with the ability to safe- possibilities really are. - we must make their children in a test tube rat. Should there be a fundamental whether embryos are things, poten- guard mankind’s existence. In the listen to rational thought not para- and mess around with their genes to difference between the ways we tial persons, or full persons. If future cloning will allow scientists noia. If we do, I think that we will create what they see as their ‘per- treat an embryo and the way we there is any possibility that to succeed in a mutual higher come to the conclusion that we must fect’ child. Unfortunately this is a treat life outside the womb. embryos could be persons, then breeding until we attain the highest carry on, regulations do need to be dangerous game, which nobody Christianity does not draw a line surely we have a duty to protect standard of humanity. Thus the put into place but an outright ban is knows the consequences of. between embryo and birth. An them from experiments that would state should be obligated to pro- wrong as it would only serve to embryo in the womb is part of destroy them? mote the victory of the better and push the technology underground God’s continuing creation. “You stronger and demand the subordi- and in to the hands of the very peo- Katie Clements (God) created every part of me; you God has given us technology - and nation of the inferior and weaker. ple who are likely to take advantage put me together in my mother’s whilst responsible for the use of it, of it. The first point I should make is that womb” Psalm 139 v 13. we must remember that the end In effect, scientists will become the Christianity is not anti-science, for does not justify the means. There new world governors. As for the moral dilemma as to me science has served to illustrate Life does not begin in the womb but are alternatives to using embryonic Conditioning through genetic reg- whether science is playing God, we and confirm the wonder of both our is even part of God’s plan before the stem cells - adult stem cell have ulation would ensure each human have to decide for ourselves but let own and our environments creation. womb. ‘The Lord said to me “ I already been successfully used in has a role to fulfil in order to max- us not impose this on society but let Like any tool humans develop, sci- chose you before I gave you life, humans, and are said to be much imise the efficiency of the ‘Master society choose for itself in light of entific or otherwise, genetic engi- and before you were born I selected more easily harvestable and versa- Race’. Social Darwinism and the all the evidence. neering is neither good nor evil. tile. We wish to emphasise that the views in this column are not necessarily those of the writers, the WSX editor, the Wessex Scene in general or the Union’s. The • Red Snapper Interview•...TRAIL David Lynch• Ministry of Sound OF New Years DEAD Bash• Competitions intention of Devil’s advocate is to encourage debate and discussion for the sake of argument. 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:08 am Page 14

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28th February 2002 Welcome to... 28th February 2002

Editorial What on earth has happened to The PARADOXICAL POLEMIC the Brits??? In my day, quality acts such as Blur used to pick up “Imagine everything bad awards, and the ceremony was a THE NEWS... about a Paradox night.All showcase for exciting new EDGE of this stuff, the fights, the music. I don’t know...The youth with EDGE hound Paul Cornwell bad attitude and the of today, eh... scummers was absent.The Travis? Robbie Williams? S Club Somerset based festival, stall in trendy London’s Portobello The absolutely fantastic Essential vibe was friendly and it bloody 7? I mean come on. I Glastonbury, looked as if it may road.The lyrics, which feature nine- Festival is making a double come seemed as if you knew think Elton John got it right not go ahead after all this year teen lines from the song, written TOP back this year hot on the heels of when he described the Brits as a by Paul McCartney, were originally everyone in there, every- after new opposition was mount- their blistering New Years Eve where you wandered media circus or whatever.And if ed.Thankfully this opposition from purchased in 1971.The lyrics, bash. Not only will there be the Elton John is right, what is the Mendip District Council was which don’t feature the entire song festival of old up in London town there was acrew member world coming to? quashed after Mean Fiddler’s Vince - the last six lines are mysteriously in August but there is to be anoth- or a friendly face. No atti- omitted, are to be auctioned at 10 Anyway, enough rambling Power and Glastonbury godfather er Essential festival over in Bristol tude, no fights, it was all Christie’s. methinks. Enjoy this super big Michael Eavis resolved the details on the May bank holiday weekend. good. issue of the Edge, and don’t for- of their new partnership.Tickets The line up for the festival to be Songs about The only link to a for this years festival cost £100. Incredibly, Brit Award winners this held over the weekend May 4th, get to vote in the Bricks, our Paradox night was the fas- muchbetterthanthebrit awards. year are just as shit as any other 5th and 6th is still being wholly year, so I can’t even be bothered to confirmed but those down to play cist door search policy, And if Travis win best band, then Hand written lyrics to one of pop idol Will mention them. The Strokes so far are Roni Size, James which, though an accus- I quit. The Beatles most classic songs, ‘Hey Jude’, look to be sold for a picked up Best International Brown, Supergrass,Adam F, tommed feature, led to sum in the region of £80 000 at Newcomer, which was a big sur- Asian Dub Foundation, Judge Young many people missing most prise. Jules, Courtney Pine and The auction despite only being bought of the Scratch Perverts for a few pounds from a market Beta Band. 1- In it For the Money by Emmanuelle Supergrass set.”

2-If you Buy this Record your Extracted from The EDGE The EDGE issue December 13th 2001. Supergrass - Playing the Essential Festival Life will be Better by Tamperer needs YOU (questionable, but, if it’s true, If you have a passion for ‘Evergreen’ is released on music or film and think 11th March) Dear EDGE, ENCE IS FROM THE so sad that he feels by his per- and many people that I have talked my friends and I don’t need those types there and I’m sure that you you can write about it, if INSTIUTE (sic) AND UNIVER- sonal comments, and prefer- to, have regularly seen violence RE:The EDGE Mag issue dated SITY? I am quite happy to sup- ences between promoters or breaking out, usually at the end of, a feel exactly the same way about this you like the sound of free 3-Sex and Drugs and Rock 13th Dec 2001- Page 12 (by ply you with evidence of this by music, it will deter us from fur- Paradox night in the past. If you care as I do. I hope that none of the CDs, free entry to gigs, and Roll by Ian Dury and the Paul Cornwell) way of our MEMBERS thering our goals. Let me reas- to re-read the article you’ll find that readers of the EDGE will fit in to and the fame and glory Blockheads ADDRESSES! I wonder how sure you that will not be the at no point do I actually say that a this category and if they do then I that comes with writing (all of which are now freely Regarding the above article, I your readers will feel about case! Paradox event is bad. On the whole don’t mind offending them. Thirdly, I would like to raise my for the EDGE, contact us available) must protest in the strongest being called ‘scummers’, for if I I hope you are able to view my a Paradox event is a great event, but terms possible, the personal were to publish this piece of comments in a positive man- at the Squeeze event I didn’t wit- point about the Guildhall security now to let us know.You attack on my company and its trash called reporting by him ner, and correct this matter as ness any fights or attitude. staff. I wrote that the security staff know you want to. 4-Girls Girls Girls by Jay-Z reputation- Paradox to our Members, I think the best possible to ensure our Many of my friends who have been were being very thorough at the Entertainments Ltd. paper would have a lot of continued cooperation and attending Paradox events since you Squeeze event and thus delaying 5-Hate this and I’ll Love you It is one thing to give personal explaining to do, as to how support for the future, were laying them on in Ikon, and some people’s entry in to the [email protected] Guildhall. I wrote that ‘the only link by Muse views or reviews on a particu- YOUR ASSISTANT EDITOR who are, incidentally, Paradox mem- lar event, but what Cornwell VIEWS THE READERS! With best regards, bers, now refuse to attend any to a Paradox night was the fascist Okay, then, if you insist... proceeds to do in the article is As if he wasn’t satisfied with more due to the attitude and the door search policy’, what I did not make personal digs at our digging at us he further goes Anil Sood fights. It is up to you whether you write was that the security staff on THE EDGE 6- Stutter by Joe featuring company which not only are on to call the Guildhall (Director-Paradox believe me or just think that I am the night were employed by TEAM Mystikal highly offensive, but libellous Security- Staff employed and Entertainments Limited) being in some way antagonistic. Paradox as you suggested. I am passionate about the music (honourable mention for and completely without foun- vetted and controlled by At no point in the article did I say Editor: Emmanuelle Smith dation! THEM, NOT Paradox, as quote The EDGE would like to apolo- that the music at any Paradox event scene in Southampton and appreci- Assistant Editor: Paul Cornwell LETTERS. WE’RE SO POPULAR, THIS ISSUE WE’VE GOT LOADS Gareth...was it a fix? Who The chap is reviewing an event ‘FACIST’ (sic) and clearly was bad. In fact, I believe it to be ate it every time something good Dance: Charlotte Devalda gise for any offence that we may cares?) comes around. For you to suggest I Film: Tim Houghton Dear Ed, club. Though I was escorted out of actions were unprofessional, and for no purpose to the arti- makes a link to us! We do not have caused on this occasion. usually of great quality - the Hype, am ‘sad’ and that I am trying to go the front door my friend had his contemptuous and potentially cle, he proceeds to compare have a say in the policy of any However, we feel that it may be of Andy C, Bad Company and Optical out of my way to ‘deter you from With: Satwant Phander, Georgi After a period of books and arm wrenched behind his back by dangerous. I’ve had almost three 7-I can do anything better one promoter to another, who company or services employed some interest to Paradox and our night was one of the best drum and Vaughn,Tim White, Rich Heap, Nina furthering your goals’ is just unpro- blind boredom my exams were two bouncers whilst in the toilets years of quality underground than you by Kids from Fame are not connected, never have by the City Council, he knows readers if Paul is given the chance bass nights I have been to outside of Dubravec, Paul Coltofeanu, Darren worked together, do not make this, if not his is a violation of London. fessional. Pickering,Simon Foster, James finally over, so myself and three and was then ejected from the fire clubbing in Southampton, only to explain the views he put for- Just watch him magically I cannot retract what I wrote in Hayward,Alex Cooke, Paul Cairn, other exam weary friends exit! We had done nothing other visiting Ikon once. All I have to public issues of any differences truth and facts which should ward in the article in question. Secondly, I would like to address transform into an arrogant the December 13 issue because Chris Bienemann, Mark Hanna, decided to ‘treat’ ourselves to a than sit in the wrong place, an area say is, if you hate yourself, visit there may be, if any, and yet have been checked out first! your point that I had no right in then I would be saying that I was Ross Melville, Russell Wood, Jo night of low quality cheese and not designated as a fire exit but Ikon - the place is run by more bastard Cornwell feels just for the hell I feel extremely upset and dis- comparing a Squeeze 18 night to a Clarke, Stacy Yelland, Guy lying. This is not the case. I would piss poor beer by visiting the simply a ramp leading from the chiefs than a reservation full of of it, lets (sic) slag off the so- appointed that the wrong Dear Anil Paradox night. I feel that the fact Williamson, Niall McAuliffe,Alex called ‘rivals’ to what can only impression is being given out that they are both drum and bass like to close by saying that I think Mattinson, Gareth Atkinson, grey monstrosity that is Ikon. lower bar to the main dance floor. Indians! 8- Hang out your Ego by Frank Imogen Hitchcock, Erin Murrin Maybe we only have ourselves Our treatment by security was be construed as his personal to the public. You know have I am sorry that you have taken events taking place in the same you have wholly misunderstood my Black point. I think that Paradox is usually to blame; the fact we are all indi- rude, aggressive and above all You know who I am, I know buddies or favourites from the straved (sic) this city is of good offence to the article that I wrote venue is more than enough to link a great event but in the past I have viduals and still retain our hear- unprofessional, whilst the inept, who you are. Rah!...T.H. two companies. nights out, and we have always about the Squeeze 18 event at the the two companies and allow com- The Edge ing should have prevented us adolescent looking management 9- Knives out by Radiohead Regarding his comments about addressed this issue and deliv- Guildhall on November 16. I had no parisons. witnessed attitude and sometimes S.U.S.U the quote ‘bad attitudes, the ered quality events so that I do feel that I need to elaborate fights. I have never been involved in Highfield from subjecting ourselves to were equally unqualified to explain (ladies and gentlemen, you slanderous intentions and believe these fights, I have never been Southampton mass, corporate entertainment or rectify the situation.We were left For once, letters of criti- fights...’ and the offensive refer- Southampton people can enjoy that in context what I wrote was on my use of the term ‘scummers’ may now commence sharp- injured at a Paradox and I have had S017 1BJ that is about as original and as trapped outside with our two cism not aimed at us! ence to genuine people who go something on a regular basis. correct. I have been to many of the and can appreciate any confusion at ening) a great time every time I have tel: 023 805955230 greasy as McDonalds. Anyhow, female friends cash and coat tickets, Hooray. If you’ve got some- out for a good times at a big Paradox faces enough obsta- Paradox nights and have enjoyed all that point. By the term ‘scummers’ I fax: 023 80595252 event, as quote ‘scummers’ cles from all angles as it is, of them and spoken and written am not referring to those not in full attended. e-mail: [email protected] we got in, drank, danced and sat who as a result of having no money, thing to get off your chest down. After only an hour in the were forced to walk home late at email us at: 10-Main Offender by The that attend Paradox gigs, goes without having these kind of highly of them in the past. time education but those who Published by S.U.S.U- club both myself and my other night, in the cold wind and rain all Hives way beyond fair reporting! differences being created Firstly, I would like to address your attend your events with the idea in Yours sincerely, Copyright 2001 friend were ejected from the the way back to Portswood. Ikon’s theedge.soton.ac.uk FOR THE RECORD, DOES HE amongst hard working pro- point that my comments were mind of causing a fight or in some KNOW 60% OF OUR AUDI- moters in this town.This guy is ‘completely without foundation’. I, way being troublesome. I know that Paul Cornwell

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28th February 2002 Welcome to... 28th February 2002

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28th February 2002 28th February 2002 singles album s albums VARIOUS cally excellent work. Shallow Hal- The Original Lyrically,Wagner has also surpassed Soundtrack himself on this occasion.The songs, (Mercury) though hushed and gentle, are crudely observant and sometimes Yeah, it’s the music from that film dismal: ‘and William called and about that bloke who worked in the tried/to tell me that his sister’s record shop in High Fidelity who can boyfriend has just died/he’s not sure only see the inner beauty of, you what to do/and I’m not sure what to BUY THIS! OrElse... know, fat women (with supposedly tell him he should do/Sometimes hilarious consequences). The moral William we’re just screwed.’ of the film is not to make judge- Wagner maintains his trademark ments based on the way people wit and sardonic humour through- B.R.M.C. The album starts with recent sin- look. And the moral of this album is out though, as in The Daily Growl, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club gle of the issue Love Burns which is not to make soundtrack CDs. where he sings ‘I guess its right/ to (Virgin) about as good an introduction to Welcome to country music hell. love the girls who fight/off our acts of the Club as you can get. As Sure As If you had free reign to choose any manly desperation.’ The Strokes have got the New The Sun conjures up images of the songs you wanted then what would Is a Woman is a grower.You’ll prob- York punk rock retrofit sewn up. trio playing on a balmy San you go for? Go on, write out the 13 ably think it’s ‘rather nice’ when you So where does that leave all of Francisco night and is one of the tracks you’d have on your ideal first hear it. But listen to it again, the other retro rock outfits of a stand out tracks on the album. romantic comedy (?) soundtrack. I and again, and you’ll realise it’s similar par? Well B.R.M.C. have MAXIMILIAN HECKER n’t so bloody depressing. The best track on the album is bet it doesn’t include Shelby Lynne, much much more. now got the West Coast thing Polyester the closer, which starts out with a Neil Young, Darius Rucker (?), Ellis sewn up.They’re in a similar vein (Kitty-Yo) 4/10 riff and beat similar to that of Paul (?), or Phoenix (?). Or Edison 8/10 as the Strokes but without letting RH Tender by Blur. Salvation is wrapped Lighthouse. There are some good ES their home town be their all Once again, Berlin based electron- West’. And yes, there is a slight to ‘Andromeda’ could easily fit onto up in synth swathes with pedal tracks though. Good Fortune by PJ encompassing characteristic. ic label Kitty-Yo deliver the goods. SPIRITUALIZED country twang to some of the ‘Amnesiac’, but then it lapses back steel guitar and simplistic echoing Harvey for example, and, erm, no Black Rebel Motorcycle Club Home to Peaches, Gonzales and Do It All Over Again songs, but we’re not talking full into loud guitars, loud drums, and vocals with the chorus refrain of that’s it. All the rest just blend into 90 DAY MEN have got a far wider range of Tarwater, the label seems to have (Spacemen/Arista) blown Dolly Parton, thank God! loud screaming. With a little more Do you feel alive? each other in an ‘I want to be Sheryl To Everybody influences than Seventies punk moved in a more accoustic direc- I always imagine Jewel playing in a work they could develop their own Black Rebel Motorcycle Club is a Crow/Bryan Adams’ kind of way. (Southern) rock - admittedly they even tion with this release from The third single to be taken from deserted American diner, pouring niche in experimental metal. Or great album which displays the But, judging by the subject of the stretch to our shores in the form Maximilian Hecker. last years excellent Let It Come her heart out to a few mulleted Experimetal (that’s genius ain’t it? I range of possibilities of this retro film, is this the time to make a Although having previously claimed of the Verve. The album sounds The sound is hushed and sweet, Down is, surprise surprise, brilliant Rednecks, waiting for someone to should be a tabloid punster.) punk rock resurgence. judgement on songs just because of New Wave and no wave influences, like some of the best modern and I couldn’t imagine anyone not and it’s not even one of the best whisk her away to bigger and better But, as it stands, nothing on this the way they sound? Should I not the sound made by 90 Day Men is American old-skool punk rock liking it. The B-Side, The Days Are album tracks. Featuring the usual things. album is particularly new, yet some- look for the inner beauty? After all almost impossible to place. At fused with patches of early Oasis Long and Filled With Pain, is also a collection of a Jason Pierce mono- This album has done nothing to how it is just on the right side of is it up to me to (blah blah blah turns beautifully melodic then or Verve, thrown together over a gem. Not as depressing as it logue, a full orchestra and some- shatter my romantic dreams. She formulaic. A solid start but a little 8/10 moralistic crap)... actually, no. I can hopelessly atonal, the closest refer- burning wall of white noise psy- sounds, honest! thing that makes the hairs stand still sings like an angel, and is quick less screaming and a little more PC safely say that this is shite and you to make a cutting remark with a sonic experimentation is the order ence point for the opening track I’ve chedelia. up on the back of your neck. CD2 shouldn’t waste your money on it. got designs on you could be the sem- 9/10 features the video for the song poignant lyric, but I think I’m too of the day. And once they’re the Buy PJ Harvey’s album instead. late to save her, someone got there leading lights in the newly formed inal post-rockers Slint but with a ES which sees JP once again clad in piano and a heart. Later in the before me and helped her make this Experimetal movement, who knows teenage infatuation and juvenile BEVERLEY KNIGHT DO MAKE SAY THINK spacesuit attire, this time being 2/10 windy-city-bashing We Blame Make Say Think. album. what they could do. obsession will be released as a sin- Who I Am & yet & yet CAPITOL K dangled from the bottom of a hel- RH Chicago, what starts out as a slightly Furthermore, & yet & yet has a dis- Pillow icopter flying over a mountain gle on March 11th. Another, ( EMI ) (Constellation) tinctively more ‘pop’ feel to it, which RM 6/10 uneventful take on a Philip Glass (XL Recordings) range near Cape Town. piano piece turns unannounced into 100weight head, has been released I feel may make it more accessible 8/10 RH previously and is undoubtedly their With a Jamiroquai spring tour in the & yet and yet, the third full-length JEWEL a drone rock dirge before almost to a wider audience.Which isn’t to best track to date. 100weight is a bag, this was probably a half - release from Toronto based Do Capitol K (not christened Capitol 8/10 This Way instantly slipping into a more jovial say, of course, that if you like ‘pop REDEFINE LAMBCHOP moving tune of sadness and loneli- decent opening to rattle up some Make Say Think, is yet (& yet...) by Mr. And Mrs. K) gives us an PC (Atlantic) Saucerful of Secrets era Pink Floyd. music’, you’re automatically going to The Daisy Chain Cycle Is a Woman serious supermarket CD sales. another great album. Along with interesting mix of affable pop and Although at times lacking direc- ness with a thumping rocky chorus. enjoy it. (Sugarshack Records) (City Slang) You will find yourself singing along With this collection of 14 songs ( in fellow Canadians and label mates unpretentious post-OK Computer GERLING Please excuse any bias in this tion, such as on the late night & yet & yet is the sort of album you to it and that’s the sure sign of a the loosest sense ) she’s more like- from the Godspeed collective , they Radiohead, yet without the The Deer in You review, as some of my friends may crooning of Saint Theresa in Ecstasy, might want to put on late at night, The sleeve suggests that this will be When I read the credits for this good song. Easyworld describe ly to be steered towards the mop succeed in pushing the boundaries intrigue of seeing Thom Yorke dis- ( Infectious ) tell you my love for Jewel has To Everybody is a beautiful record when you’re going to sleep and rather more Air than guitar, but it album -having listened to it- I could- their brand of music as power section of her local convenience of experimentation. And I don’t appear up his own arse. Enjoyable absolutely nothing to do with her which could easily signal greater need a break from all that thrashing ends up being a harder and more n’t quite believe what I saw. As well poprock and I think that that’s a fair store come next EMI accountancy mean pretentious, wanky experi- and quirky, but you won’t find Not quite in the same league as music. They’re probably right, but I things to come. On this evidence, guitar stuff you usually listen to. interesting version of Placebo as Kurt Wagner’s (Lambchop’s main comment. The album contains an meeting. mentation either. I mean the rare yourself humming it after it’s fin- their Enter Time Capsule single. The fell in love with her voice well 90 Day Men should soon have the The guitars here, I suspect, could (especially ‘Cypher’) and King Adora. man) dulcet vocals and soft piano assortment of tracks, ranging from On the evidence of the postcard tuneful kind. ished or rushing out to buy it. New Order rhythms help, the before I saw any pictures. Honest! ability to deliver your soul up to thrash at any instant, but show a If Redefine are to ever have any sort playing, 18 other musicians also fig- Junkies and Whores, a complex num- diary packaging, Miss Knight pres- Like Godspeed, Do Make Say Think slightly fuzzy vocals probably This is her third album after the heaven - without you even noticing. respectful restraint- most of the of important role in the music ured.The reason I was so surprised ber involving several different ents herself as a gym nut chilled out do the whole very-quiet-to-very 6/10 don’t. massively successful ‘Pieces of You’ time at least. scene, it’ll be on the fringes because is that the album is as far removed instruments designed to show off well-off R&B babe. The music is loud thing, which makes for an RH (1995) and ‘Spirit’ (1998). It’s a slight 7/10 A truly beautiful, melodic album their quirkiness won’t translate into from an orchestral affair as you the band’s musical skill and dexteri- much more impoverished lacking unpredictable, exciting sound. 6/10 departure from these two but the TH that may well be an early contender mainstream sales. Now I’m not could imagine. On first listening, you ty, to You and Me an altogether dif- even a few drops of proletarian silky Compared to their last album, DP same endearing qualities still for my top album of the year. Nostradamus, but it’s just the way could be forgiven for thinking that Is ferent track getting away from their sweat. Hurricane Jane , and Get Up Goodbye Enemy Airship the Landlord is DEPECHE MODE remain, her honesty, sensuality, and EASYWORLD things happen. a Woman was a one man kind of LP. usual style and doing something a at least save it from total wipe-out. Dead, this latest offering seems Goodnight Lovers FC KAHUNA a voice that sends you to pieces. This is Where I Stand The opener, ‘Boy Monkey’ manages One man and his piano that is. bit softer. Hopefully Easyworld’s more structured and thought out. (Mute Records) Glitterball However, the finished product is a (Jive) to meld the sounds of space age On second listening, you start to musical career is on the up! They’ve 1/10 The sound is focused and detailed (City Rockers) lot cleaner, crisper, and probably 9/10 guns with industrial metal. Of be aware of something else going been working hard touring the DP in a way not yet manifested by Do The ‘floating-in-space’-like aura, more sellable than the playful inno- Easyworld are a bit like JJ72 but bet- ES course, the screaming during the on, something very quiet, but some- country (You can see them at Soton the Cliff Richard-esque vocals, and The vocals on the main offering cence of ‘Pieces of You’.The first sin- ter, much, much better! loud bits is a recurring theme, best thing nonetheless. Background Uni on Wed March 13th supporting the religious incantations of a here dull the vibe. Much more gle, ‘Standing Still’, expresses all of If you liked JJ72’s October Swimmer shown in ‘Seven by Seven’ (very sim- vocals, percussion and guitar are all the Bluetones) and they’ve got a group of Benedictine monks com- edible is the instrumental Swayzak these new qualities. but thought their album was a little ilar to R.A.T.M.’s ‘Wake Up.’) understated but surreptitiously add good album.Will their album sell? I bine to make this a record that mix, which despite its 10 minute However, when I discovered that it bit dull, then Easyworld are for you! compels you want to run a nice duration is something of a City However, if they took a little more to the overall sound. would hope so! To try before you If you like the sound of getting free CDs in exchange for writ- was recorded in Nashville, I thought The album is just one big goody bag time to cultivate their melodic The album is quieter and softer buy go to warm bath. That, however, is Rocker. she had committed music suicide full with top tracks. Although there before slitting your wrists so if instinct then they’d reap the sounding than any of Lambchop’s http://www.easyworldweb.com/ and gone all country on me. Then rewards, and would definitely have a previous offerings. Nevertheless, are no weak songs there are a cou- you do insist on listening to this 6/10 imagine my horror when I saw ple of outstanding ones. One of better album if the Beta Band-esque the intricate workings of the vari- 9/10 then do so away from sharp DP songs ‘Cleveland’ and ‘The New Wild which, Try Not to Think, a tale of interludes were lengthier.The intro ous instruments make for a techni- GW ing reviews, then contact us now at [email protected] objects. It could be good if it was- PAGE4 PAGE 5 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:08 am Page 18

28th February 2002 28th February 2002 DEAD SNAPPER ? Interview... I seem to need to look at what we albums do much more objectively; be very loads of energy and with some assure you that this is truly one of critical and particular about it all. wicked guitar riffs. It should proba- the most distressing albums I have The power of sound and music to bly be taken less as a soundtrack heard, and if anyone wants to hear radically change character and and more of a compilation of tunes for themselves, I’ll give you my free ALBUMS mood; Robert Carlyle can go from that would not be out of place in copy - it’s a waste otherwise. menacing to daft with the swell of the actual film. Lighter fluid anyone? an organ! Shane is intrinsic and we IN BRIEF really work to his direction. He 7/10 2/10 TELEPOPMUSIK loves his music and knows a lot , GA AM Genetic World which makes it all the more a com- (EMI-Chrysalis) pliment to be asked to work with MONTELL JORDAN A him.We’re like putty in his hands. Montell Jordan Hi-Fi Serious Cheesy debut from French (Def Soul) (London) electro-pop trio. Quality sam- Can we expect to see a Red pling of hip-hop, jazz, fusion, Since 1993 Red Snapper have because of changing musical direc- stuff? Rich: Toob is electronic funk with Snapper reunion in 10 years time If you burn one album this year,may Old nu-metal from Brits who were and weird French stuff... been tearing down the bound- tions. Personally I felt it was a good Rich: I think it was because as a live live drums that is just starting to (complete with obligatory world I strongly suggest it be this one? wearing baggy jeans and styling Well worth checking out, aries that constrain contempo- time to move onto something new band we managed to get a sound grow - watch out for us. 'stadium sell-out' tour)? Perhaps it’s the cliché-ridden lyrics their spiky hair when Fred Durst et especially if you like Air, Daft rary music with their extraor- whilst we still had a fan base. like dirty American hip hop which Rich: Absolutely not - unless of that grate the most, or the formula- al were still learning how to string Punk etc... dinary blend of instrumental when Steve Beckett saw us play live Ali, how did you get involved in course there's loads of money in it!! Rough-Trader Fennesz looking suave ic series of drum-bass-twinkly piano their three chords together.This is 7/10 hip-hop and jazzy breaks and What have been the high-points for the first time at Glastonbury he writing music for ‘Once upon a Ali: Expect a Snapper re-union have been pummelling the hell of the last nine years? every five years until the year 2020 VARIOUS side modern German glitch pio- backing tracks that Jordan warbles not to say that A are that old, but it ES realised there was no-one else like time in the Midlands’? How dif- out of the hardcore faithful and Rich: Since 1994 there have been at which point we shall all settle Rough Trade Shops: Electronic neers Oval, while one of John over, but whichever of the numer- would be wrong to not point out us around just like many of the ferent is it from working in RS unsuspecting festival-goers many high points down to presenting ratings winning 01 Cage’s heavily theorised works finds ous pitfalls it is that makes the that these guys have been doing this VARIOUS ARTISTS artists on Warp. and how closely do you work album so poor, it’s hard to find any- for some time now. Door to the Souk alike. Now, four albums later, 1. doing the Fuji Festival in Japan with [director] Shane Meadows? TV games shows. (Rough Trade) a home between Kraftwerk and According to the New Oxford Non. thing original to spark interest.This Where A went right was ditching (Ponana/Wrasse Records) and with one final E.P still in with Juan Atkins, Richie Hawtin and What were the best and worst Ali: Ted Barnes who writes for the pipeline the band have Jeff Mills. Dictionary , a ‘snapper’ is someone The question of what constitutes So while similar compilations like may be his fifth album to date, but the conventional bass and using a things about your time at that Beth Orton alongside me was decided to split. The Edge e- 2. when people first picked up on who plays quite strange music electronic music is not easily the OHM project do a better job of it’s clear from this disappointing col- bass keyboard instead for those Quality double CD showcas- label? approached by the director of Once mailed Snapper’s Rich and Ali Red Snapper on Flaw Recordings based on double bass , drums and answerable. Once a track is record- anthologising important electronic lection that poor old Montell is rap- extra deep sub-bass rumbles that ing some of the best in Rich: The best thing was getting all upon a time.. ,Shane Meadows, to (currently working on the and then getting the deal with Warp guitar but who has an inherent fear ed on to any media, be it digital or works, Rough Trade ultimately gives idly running out of ideas. On no less shake your rib cage when you’re ‘world’ music. Highlights the Warp staff to take acid at a provide the score for the film. soundtrack for a new British Records. of stadiums. In the words of MC analogue, then it instantly takes on the more enjoyable listen. than six of the thirteen tracks an down in the mosh pit. include tracks by Manu Chao, Swiss festival, then chasing Aphex Shane had heard Ted’s solo album film Once upon a time in the 3. doing Glastonbury as one of our Det ....time to move on ... an electronic form, yet journalists identical guitar-harp elevator music Unfortunately however, most of Femi Kuti and Sergio Mendes. around resulting in getting in a fea- and thought the music would suit Midlands...) to ask how it’s been first proper gigs. such as myself in this very publica- 8/10 killer- combo plays us in, almost those deep rumbles aren’t present 8/10 ture with the local newspaper. The the film.Ted and I had been collabo- for them... 4. selling out the Astoria in London. tion freely make the distinction TH exclusively followed by variations on ‘Hi-Fi Serious’ and most of their ES worst thing was they completely rating anyway and decided to work 5. seeing my two children born. Tim Houghton between electronica and guitar on much the same musical themes. songs seem to take a mid-pace sort screwed up the promotion of our on the film together. Shane particu- What has prompted your deci- music. VARIOUS Songs like MJ Anthem and Mine of approach to life. HOOBASTANK last album. the real best thing about larly liked our lo-fi approach. It’s a sion to split? Why do you think you originally In many ways this new compilation More Fast and Furious: Music Mine Mine draw slightly on Dre and Strangely,the vocals are most rem- Hoobastank Warp was that I met my girlfriend completely different process from Rich: We had spent the year tour- caught the eye of Warp Records Red Snapper’s Heavy Petting E.P. is from Rough Trade, released to cele- From And Inspired By The Dilated Peoples in their sample-rid- iniscent of a Police era Sting - espe- (Island) who worked there. Snapper cos’ we write to an image ing after our split with Warp when the overwhelming majority released on Nuphonic on 11th March brate their 25th birthday, questions Motion Picture den big bass sound, but Jordan’s cially on tracks ‘6 O’clock’ and ‘The and have vague instructions to cre- Records and it was taking us a long of their releases were techno on CD and Vinyl these distinctions with the inclusion (Island) sickly-sweet candy-coated voice Springs’, which sounds pretty funny What an incredibly shit name. Richard: Describe [your new ate atmospheres and evoke emo- time to write new music, possibly "artificial intelligence" type of tracks by the likes of Stereolab merely serves to draw the ear away over a nu-metal-lite background. What an incredibly shit project] Toob. tions at particular points. Basically , and Fennesz. While the ‘Lab are With the release of The Fast and the from any of the rare moments of More than likely, this is the album album.What an incredibly shit essentially a pop-rock boogie band, Furious to rent on video and DVD, musical interest, and instead tries its whose integrity is going to be ques- band. More turgid nu-metal Fennesz takes the guitar and welds Universal studio has coincided this best to piss you off. How many tioned by the hardcore fans but is wank from a bunch of band it into something completely differ- with the release of this sound track times can one man go ‘Ooh, baby’ likely to see A grace the charts wagon jumpers that isn’t even ent via laptop manipulation. In his to the film. The question that and get away with it? You just start somewhere near the back end of worth writing about. hands the question of genre melts remains, however, is ‘is this just a to lose all interest past the first the top 20. That said though, some 1/10 into meaninglessness. cheap and tacky attempt to cash in three tracks, as the sad realisation of the tracks on ‘Hi-Fi Serious’ are PC In compiling this broad overview of the success of this film with gim- rapidly kicks in that Montell is prob- worthy of some wider recognition. the history of electronic music, micky products?’ Well, probably, but ably the long lost brother of (simi- Where A may fail compared to BIFFY CLYRO Rough Trade have taken it upon it must be said that the album is larly vacuous) R&B crap-peddler R. their American counterparts, even Blackened Sky themselves to present some of the actually very good. With bands Kelly. Having said that, it’s not all though most of them are more (Beggars Banquet) outer-limits of the field and have ranging from Bay area metallers bad. Well, it is, but one song isn’t - MOR than A, is the fact that A then filled in as many gaps as they Machine Head to Bristol’s urban MJ V Intro, which lasts a princely one sound slightly MOR in a British way The press release for this can in the space available on two Drum ‘n’ Bass Legend Roni Size this and a half minutes and is reminis- and that is sooooo not cool man. record came with a warning, CDs. Inevitably, this has lead to soundtrack makes for a high-octane cent of Blackstreet.Apart from that, or rather claim that Byffy omissions. In particular the lack of sonic experience. nothing even registers on the scale. 6/10 Clyro were NOT a nu-metal representation from club based The album opens with a tune by If this all sounds incredibly harsh, I PC band.Well, they are, but they forms of electronic music such as Saliva called Superstar that is not make quite a decent guitar house and drum’n’bass, although dissimilar to the sort of thing album, so we’ll forgive them. deliberate, is niggling and perhaps a Corrosion of Conformity were 6/10 track from the likes of Photek or bashing out about seven years ago. ES Klute would not have gone amiss. Another track that really caught my Such complaints are pointless in attention was track 11 called Shelter Demo-lition LO FIDELITY ALLSTARS some respects however, because by Greenwheel - definitely worth nearly all of the artists here are jus- listening to. HER ARMY Other than that, though, there’s Don’t Be Afraid Of Love tifiable selections, albeit that the What is unfortunate and disap- Living in a Modern World nothing ‘old’ about them, as they (Skint) track selections from those artists pointing is that some of the better succeed in making their songs are sometimes questionable. tracks from the film did not make it London trio Her Army, who fresh, exciting and passionate. Return to greatness from the Certainly Aphex Twin’s ‘inkey$’ is onto this and many of the tracks on played at the Joiners recently, The Edge would be very sur- Lo-Fi’s after a long period of not his most interesting material this soundtrack do not actually are going to go far. (sorry if prized if Her Army don’t get quiet. Go buy it. ever. appear in the film. This made me a that’s patronising, kids) snapped up by a record label 8/10 Where this compilation does suc- bit suspicious and so I had a quick The sound is old Manics meet, sharpish. ES ceed is in its brave mixture of old browse through the inlay to find the err, something else that sounds and new, academic and visceral. Joe irritating clause ‘Music From And a lot like old Manics. 7/10 Meek’s classic ‘I hear a new world’ Inspired By The Motion Picture...’ ES from 1960 sits comfortably along- Overall, this album is good with

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28th February 2002 28th February 2002 Live... Books... Win Stuff !!! FABRIC LIVE 01/02/02

Oh yes, the exam period had getting down to it in the heart of finally concluded and it was London at 5 am in the morning time for a proper mission to with the most amount of hedo- London. It was never going to nism and happiness. If only Jackson disappoint with the likes of Ali could have seen us...he would have B, James Lavelle, John Peel, been proud me thinks. The Plump DJs, Die & As for John Peel, what can I say? If Dynamite,Adam F, J Majik, you are familiar with his late night Fabio, Peshay, and 25 people Radio 1 show then you can imag- representing the ine the diversity and originality of Southampton massive.You his music. It was just an honour to know the score with Fabric; see him randomly drop some imagine 25 friends united country & western out of a tribal under one roof for eight house tune and get the response Hundred Reasons hours. he did from the crowd. Mr Peel, The music was pure, powerful you are the Don. The gorgeous Beverley Knight returns with her If you haven’t heard of Hundred Reasons yet, then this is the competition and driving with tunes like Zinc’s We rocked it as hard as Fabric outstanding second album, ‘Who I am’, released on ‘Ska’ and Bad Company’s gave it, the popularity and enthusi- for you. And if you have, then you’ll know how great they are and you’ll ‘Spacehopper’ tearing up the floor asm of Fabric Live just going to March 11th. The album is a rare soul/r’n’b gem also want to win this fab prize. We have an exclusive promo single and in the second room, with the show that Drum & Bass is a lead- pumping beats of the Plump DJs ing musical style which goes hand which shouldn’t be missed. Which is why... we promo video of Hundred Reason’s new single, ‘If I could’, to give away. and the awesome Bushwacka in hand with Nu Skool Breaks, Hip- All you have to do to enter is answer this simple question: remix of Michael Jackson’s ‘Billie hop and anything else break beat have 2 very special limited edition copies of the Jean’ electrifying the main room driven - people here know the album to give away. Where was the ‘If I could’ video filmed? with floor destroying funky score, as do the DJ’s and anyone Answers to [email protected] grooves as played by Lavelle. else who just enjoys a phat night Just send the answer to the following question to I have never seen a room of out. Who are these people such spangled people unite in such who come up with derogative [email protected]: a way before, especially for an statements about the state of Some mad people...apparently! under ground breaks night such as drum and bass scene, if you don’t What record label is Beverley Knight’s new album Fabric Live. One minute you are like it, don’t get involved. If you do, ROY PORTER GERARD MALANGA It’s more like an exploration of his on? stepping to a phat breaks tune, the however, then get your ass down Madness- A Bried History Archiving Warhol- An work through photography and next you are swinging arm in arm to Fabric as soon as possible.You (Oxford Univeristy Press) Illustrated History fragmented memories, the diary of with your mates to the screams of wont regret it. (Creation Books) a lifestyle and of an era. ‘The kid is not my son!’ Who the Roy Porter’s ‘Madness - A Brief Archiving Warhol makes for an fuck would have guessed that DJ Break History’ is claimed by one reviewer Unlike many biographers, Gerard engaging and exciting read, bringing when listening to the original back aka to be “small enough to fit in one’s Malanga actually knew his subject to life ‘the man behind the art’ with in the eighties that they would be Pete Drury pocket” though just how big his well. In fact, he was chief assistant at words and pictures, and you’ll und- pockets are remains unexplained. Andy Warhol’s legendary Factory in outedly find yourself wishing you However if you do happen to have New Yord. Malanga, a poet and pho- knew him. Lo-Fidelity Allstars giant pockets I would recommend togapher himself, helped Warhol Furthermore, Malanga is successful gig listings this book as the perfect thing to be with his art, and appeared in many in not falling into opaque art criti- In possibly one of the best EDGE giveaways ever ever carrying around in them. This is an of his films. cism, merely commentating on the ever, we have 4, yes 4 Lo-Fi Allstars T-Shirts to give march april extremely readable but detailed and Perhaps ‘biography’ is the wrong facts how he remembers them. away, as well as 5 singles. often very amusing insight into the term to describe Archiving Warhol, Emmanuelle Smith 3/3 - Ian Brown 25/4 - Gomez different explanations and treat- All you have to do to enter is tell us what the name of Southampton Guildhall Portsmouth Guildhall ments for madness throughout the Warhol and Malanga the new Lo-Fi Allstars album is. ages.The slightly less compos mentis at work E-mail entries to [email protected] 7/3 - Spiritualized err... there’s not that among us can be reminded that Southampton Guildhall much else happening in there are others worse off - read 13/3 - The Bluetones april at the moment. the account of a man suffering from continuous tremors for fear he was Southampton University soon to be eaten by a hen, or 16/3 - Future World may another too scared to urinate in It’s true, Rainbow and Dangermouse are back! Our favourite kids TV Fusion case he drowned the world. 5/5 - Bob Dylan If this sounds familiar be glad you shows are now available on VHS and DVD.And since we’re all still big kids, The Talking Heads are not being treated by the that’s great news! 19/3 - H2O Bournemouth Budapest psychiatrist who favours International Centre bone breaking to shock you out of We lovely people at the Edge have 2 copies of the new Rainbow video, Southampton Guildhall madness, and claim that ‘overmuch My Mate Zippy, and the new Dangermouse video, Project Moon, to give 23/3 - Weezer study’ has led to temporary mad- away. Just answer this easy question for the chance to get your hands on Southampton Guildhall 7/5 - The Doves ness causing you to have frequented Portsmouth Pyramids Jesters, been sick and missed your one of them: Name the main characters in Rainbow and Dangermouse. 25/3 - Faithless essay deadline. Perfect for every See? Easy! E-mail replies to [email protected] Southampton Guildhall occasion! Jo Clarke PAGE 8 PAGE 9 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:08 am Page 22

28th February 2002 28th February 2002 Live... Books... Win Stuff !!! FABRIC LIVE 01/02/02

28th February 2002 28th FEBRUARY 2002 Photos by Emmanuelle Smith Emmanuelle by Photos Live... Interview...

Just hours before him? He’s pretty big in America. that civilization has undertaken AYWKUBTTOD took to from agrarianism to the hyper- the stage at the Astoria, And when you first started information-urban-complexes. out? multi-instrumentalist What is the underground rock Conrad Keely took a few I guess I was really into Pink Floyd scene in Texas like, and how has minutes out to answer when I was a kid. It was probably my changed since you were first a Just out of surgery...it’s Clinic Trail of Dead...In the red some of the Edge’s most parents that got me into them.They part of it? finely honed questions. played me Dark Side of the Moon when I was about seven years old It’s still real good and thriving. and it remained one of my favourite There’s some great bands around In past interviews, you’ve often records for years until I got into right now like Vietnam and cited the Lord Jesus Christ as a punk-rock. Explosions in the Sky as well as major influence.Would you say some older bands like Knife in the that ‘...Trail of Dead’ is a par- How would you say that the Water and American Analog Set. I ticularly religious band? making of your new album think Austin is always going be one ‘Source Tags and Codes’ com- of those places with a very active dead men [Laughs] We’re not a religious band. pares to your first two records? nightlife and a very close-knit music I think that we view religion as community. almost a crime against I think that the main difference was humanity...[Laughs again]. The truth probably the environment we were Would you still consider your- is that I feel religion is a purely per- in, being on a farm. For this album selves as part of that? sonal thing, and I always thought recorded on this small chicken that the closest one ever got to the ranch about an hour of North of Yeah, sure. I mean, we don’t play creator is just your own personal San Francisco. It was very isolated there as often as we used to but we relationship with yourself really. and we rarely had any contact with still go out and support bands and I the outside world really. That was think that in the future I’d like to be So what do you think about different because in Austin being involved in setting up more events. I rocking bands like [fellow Texans] Lift surrounded by all our friends and still feel a strong responsibility to To Experience, who are quite NME CARLING SHOW slightly psychotic in a synth-techno- Texan headliners ...And You Will keep it?’ apparently). As you can stuff it’s an incredibly distracting rally on the side of the bands in explicit about their ...AND YOU WILL pop kind of way. Whatever it was, Know Us by The Trail Of Dead probably imagine, this caused a bit atmosphere. For us to sequester terms of the exploitation they tend Christianity? KNOW US BY THE the crowd loved it and it got the were on and rocking. of a fight, and I’m guessing the guitar ourselves on a kind of music colony to suffer from clubs and festival kids bopping- the mood was now AYWKUBTTOD are well known didn’t leave the venue in one piece. was really unusual. promoters. TRAIL OF DEAD/CLIN- set for a fantastic night. for their incredibly violent live per- The rest of their equipment also Well, I believe that everyone ought IC/THE FAINT/BRITISH to have their convictions. I think as formances, and tonight, they cer- got smashed up in a grand finale. Was there a lot more studio In the past you’ve talked about an artist it’s kinda easy to feel a SEA POWER Next up were Liverpool’s very own tainly lived up to their reputation. They do it every time, I know, but it time available? your appreciation of rap and London Astoria Clinic, fully clad as Pearly Kings and The music itself, a mixture of indie, doesn’t lose any effect. In fact, I presence of a greater power out- R’n’B.Would you ever consider side of yourself when you work, 7th February 2002 wearing their obligatory trademark rock and metal, is brilliantly noisy think a lot of the crowd come espe- Yeah,but not only that.There was a making a rap album? because the creative artistic surgeon’s masks. Clinic played a and intense, and the band play cially to see the end breakage.What lot more time to think about things process is somewhat of a spiritual selection of tracks from their excel- mostly tracks from their new album a waste I say. Think of all those and to get very introspective about I don’t know about rap, but maybe process. lent new album Walking With Thee, Source, Tags and Codes. However, struggling young musicians who are the recording process and the song- an electronic album. One of my After a short but sweet Joy as well as some old favourites.They their music is often said to be sec- saving up for musical gear.Have they writing process. On top of that I favourite albums of last year was So what are your major musi- Division-esque set from British sounded great, and what’s more, ondary to their show, and this par- no compassion? Hmm... think one of the themes on the new the Daft Punk album so y’know, cal influences? Sea Power, mad guys The Faint certainly looked the part. ticular show was no exception. record is agrarianism. maybe I could do something like took to the stage. They’re from A couple of songs into the gig and that. Well, right now I’ve been getting Nebraska, don’t y’know... (They did Following a not-too-long-but-long- a guitar is thrown into -or rather Dumb American from Trail of Dead Really? Tim Houghton into Mozart. Have you heard of tell us seven times). Their sound is enough-to-go-to-the-loo break, at- the audience (‘If it’s broken, why Emmanuelle Smith Yeah, y’know, the kind of transition PAGE 10 PAGE 11 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 24

28th February 2002 28th FEBRUARY 2002 Photos by Emmanuelle Smith Emmanuelle by Photos Live... Interview...

28th February 2002 28th February 2002 Live... dance NYE 01

Her You know the feeling, it’s the early hours, you’re cold and everything is just too much...

Embrace Only it’s not the end of the army venues in droves to create an Adam, New Eve” and “Save Me”, night, it’s New Year’s Eve, EMBRACE supported by possibly the biggest night of were muttering about a similarity to atmosphere that buzzes with elec- and Danny succeeds in inciting even HER ARMY WITNESS the year and the party is just the Manic Street Preachers. Yes of tricity before the band even materi- the far-flung audience in the balcony Joiners Arms about to kick off.... course we mean the pre-Richey London Royal Albert alises on stage. into a frenzy. He combines a swag- 2nd Feb 2002 Edwards departure days of pure Hall When they do make their gering arrogance with a sincere It always was going to be a tricky emotion, with a raw, true sound. entrance, it’s to the dulcet tones of gratitude that anyone bothered to 1st Feb 2002 one; Ministry of Sound, the So you haven’t heard of Her Army? But Her Army aren’t the Manics, “Down in the River to Pray”, turn up, and even performs an arse- Millennium Dome and tens of My housemate’s cousin’s boyfriend’s they are unique. Their songs You have to feel sorry for support drowned out immediately by the wiggling dance when Richie takes thousands of clubbers. band? Neither had I. Hmm. Well explore postmodernist themes of bands. Despite arriving on stage cheering crowd. Danny McNamara the mike for “Hooligan” - “This is there isn’t much else to do on alienation, as in Living in the twenty minutes later than expect- strides to the front of the stage to my way of telling people who don’t The sprawling site covered the Saturday nights so we dutifully Modern World, and the inevitable ed, Wigan-based four-piece bask in the limelight, while the rest like this song that they can kiss my whole of the Dome (0 C.) as well made our way to the back streets loss of innocence as life throws its Witness were greeted by the of the band break into the subdued arse!” he tells us. Are you sure it’s as the immense outside area of St Mary’s. Her Army aren’t just crap at you, in So Cold. I was at the immensity of the Royal Albert Hall strains of “Over”, the opening song not just an excuse for waving your (SUB 0 C.) The MOS fixed up an another indie rock band struggling gig with several people whose and the ambivalence of the few from their latest album. It’s the kind arse at us, Danny? impressive spread and the stages away in ubiquitous ‘Battle of the music taste verged into the people who were already in the of understated, spaced-out sound He graces the stage alone on the were erected to showcase the Bands’ competitions. They’ve got cheesy/pop category, but there they arena only to claim their place up that almost recalls a sedated second encore to play “Fireworks”, deckmelting talents of some of gigs-a-plenty and have produced were, jumping about as is the classic front for the main act. Mediocrity Spiritualized, washing over the audi- and as he (and we) sing the second the World’s finest d-Js. The line- cd’s and everything! (Note to read- response when seeing a live band. was the order of the day as the ence in nebulous waves. verse acapella, it isn’t out of place to up was entirely admirable and ers - their debut single can be Preaching to the converted cannot band strummed through their From there, the lads launch into wonder if this can be the same made for a melting pot of hungry received free by logging on to be as satisfying as changing a per- forty-minute set, sounding a bit old favourite “All You Good Good bloke who early critics accused of house folks, urban garage-ites, www.herarmy.com.) The band son’s conception of guitar music. like a second-rate hybrid of the People”, and we’re hooked from not being able to sing. In the encore and d&b kids. Quite an interest- members, Matt Owen, Trevor The final song of the set, on its Verve and Oasis. Inoffensive here on in. Embrace play a selection we’re also treated to new song ing mix, though there was some- Phillips and Max Burgess, are not maiden play, was the beautiful enough, but nothing to write from all three of their albums, as “Forever Young” which combines sounding, bass later and the mobs who, standing tall on a silver tower, key disco were later mixed into thing, something if not a little tortured teenagers with Liam Guided by Voice, one of the best in home about, although they looked well as live favourite, a cover of Bob tranquil verses building to epic, gui- were dipping in unison. With the delighted the crowds with some stronger electro and funk to And so ended the festival type pikee that most seemed to share. Gallagher haircuts and aspirations the set. As the audience are lulled like the kind of boys-next-door Dorrough’s “3 is a Magic Number”. tar-ridden choruses - in other first hint of ‘Bodyrock’ the arena suitably massive 01 tunes. The provide quite a wicked mÈnage. affair. Call me old-fashioned but ‘Ghetto Gold’ jewels and puffas of a hedonistic rock lifestyle. With into headbopping mode by the that your mother would approve However, the highlights are words, pretty much what we’ve went wild. pyrotechnics and smoke displays Musically, the Bbar was all the festival is perhaps best kept de rigeur... though who’s to say proper jobs and exceptional talent, quiet opening, Matt and Trevor let of. undoubtedly the songs from The come to expect from Embrace. were immense and the ravers were embracing and the South for the summer or at least more that’s going to make for bad com- they are playing for the sheer enjoy- rip with the guitars and Max goes Since emerging from Hull in 1997 Good Will Out; they benefit from Filling a venue this size never proves The Rulin sect had the US house inevitably impressed. Jules took the American inspired beats brought tropical climates at new year. pany!? ment of it. crazy on the drums. And then its with their blistering debut album the band’s more mature sound, five a problem for Embrace, although as styled party in full swing, courtesy celebrations to a close to complete out the cha-cha-cha in everyone. However, if you reckon you’re The set began quietly, and in front over, and as we all cheer our The Good Will Out, Embrace have years on, while retaining the fresh, the man said, it’s not the band but of Ministry residents Gareth 15 whole hours at the Dome. Dancing couldn’t be kept to the tough enough and big, commer- Having overcome the bar token of a somewhat depleted audience, approval, my mind is cast back to never quite made it in the main- rough-edged feel. “you lot” who do it. In testament, Cooke and Jazzy M. floor and chairs, tables and bars cial shenanigans stuffed with situation (with such an inconven- but they, like myself, were soon their song 340. Its about whether stream.Their survival seems to be The presence of a horn section the whole audience joins in with all To be honest the best party to be all provided a platform. Giles superstar DJs and thousands of ience one has to be resourceful!) transfixed, and the inhabitants of pursuing fame is going to worth it due to a small but dedicated fan gives the set list more scope than their might on every sweeping cho- The S’Moove arena presented had was in the Bacardi Bar. Peterson proved to be every kids is your thing, then best of it was time to check the different the bar drifted through into the all. Her Army should definitely con- base, while the public at large Embrace’s recent gig at rus right up to the finale, leaving us Masterstepz, Pied Piper and the Corporate clubbing was given a bit bit the darl-h-ling giving every- british and make sure you make stages. main room, magnetically drawn by sider if its what they want, because remains, for the most part, Southampton Guildhall, allowing the in no doubt - this really is “One Big garage sorts, bling-blings and all, of a break and a more spirited vibe one what they wanted to hear. it next year. Matt’s soaring vocals. By the end of I’m sure they’re going to get it unaware of their existence. melancholic triumph of “Drawn Family”. two-stepped right through to 02. was there for the tasting. Drums His set brought a deep, rounded The d&b pen was enriched with the second song, Blackout, one of Embrace fans lurk anonymously From Memory”, among others. and an array of other live instru- groove with some more eclectic the likes of Grooverider.A nice my personal favourites, exploring among us until they flood into gig There’s even the opportunity for a Georgi Vaughn The new year was seen in on the mentals politely dressed the and curiously abstract sounds bit of brain buzzing, eclectic that vast topic death, the people Erin Murrin bit of moshing on songs like “New main MOS stage by Dave Pearce records.The early Chicago and low thrown in. Charlotte Devalda PAGE 12 PAGE 13 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 26

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Her You know the feeling, it’s the early hours, you’re cold and everything is just too much...

28th February 2002 28th February 2002 dance dance

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Riding high on the crest of a sale the Addict/ABC collective further commandeered the Lizard Lounge for a night of musical mania.The Lounge was teeming with hip-hop-heads of all proportions, there to witness dence... Inspiring perhaps? BEATS’N’BOBS know, the one in Reservoir Dogs.) the skill ad mastery of an ex Scratch Pervert and DMC champ First Rate and Mr Thing. LLORCA WITH NICOLE Aqua Bassino And finally there is the womb-like PENDRAGON VOLUME 1 GRAHAM 4/10 (F Communications) respite of Bad Days. In fact, the only mixed by Mark Sinclair The crowd were not to be disappointed with a fine array of tunes being spun and scratched to perfection. Indigo Blues SP major downside is that he’s German (Millennium) Aim’s Cold Water music featured moe than once and the fantastic ‘Worst Comes to Worst’ of the Dilated (F Communications) Beats ‘N’ Bobs is the debut album (sorry but I had to slip some racism Mr Peoples received the necessary acclaim. from Jason Robertson, aka Aqua in somewhere... I am English after This NU NRG/ Power trance offer- A big DJ in jazz, Llorca may hit the Bassino, and is all set for a March all!) ing from Mark Sinclair is certainly Sadly, as with all good things, the end was too soon in sight and, though the crowd had been wound up with big time with this track. Establishing DILATED PEOPLES release. Even the Ides themselves You won’t necessarily like all the targeted for a crowd that likes that sounds of the Hype, time was called and all kinetic potential was directed swiftly out of doors before any himself from his very own PC, his Worst Comes To Worst should beware of this collection, songs, but there there’s a good full on clubbing atmosphere. From real disappointment could be voiced. blend of electronic music, strongly (Capitol) two years in the making, as it prom- chance that there’ll be some you’ll the onset Sinclair shows no mercy, tinted with funk and jazz would rival ises to leave a lasting impression. love and, for that reason, it’s worth launching in to hard techno based RK most large record companies. This West Coast trio Dilated Peoples Nu-soul, jazzy rhythms and an emo- having. And if someone under- tracks with a predominant techno track certainly deserves credit - have been doing the business for tional ambience are carefully stands what the fuck Finlay Quaye’s edge. The mixing is faultless, as is smooth, chilled and jazzy with infec- years without really getting the wrapped about the original deep going on about on Caravan then the choice of tracks.The diversity of tious vocals provided by Nicole recognition they deserve, and they house sound. Robertson’s travels please let me know. sound is what maintains the atten- Thing Graham. Indigo Blues, if it arouses herald the arrival of their new are stamped all over the track. tion, morph, Maximum Overdrive, warm images of smoke filled bars album Expansion Team with this Collaborations are also included 7/10 setting a tribal feel, eased up later with that intoxicating jazz atmos- melodic and chilled offering. The with the likes of Niki King- UK jazz RH with the sweet vocals of mor- phere, you’ll like it. Suited for most crisp beat, soothing string samples voice of the year, and Nahawa righan’s Sun. Sinclair allows a few dance floors or just easy listening, and excellent scratches by the Beat Doumbia-freashly appointed African breakdowns to catch your breath, Slam this may well cause a jazz revival. Junkies’ Babu combine for a relaxed diva. So to the tracks... Moonlight, TERRY FRANCIS but it is ultimatuly a continuous TheThe ClotheshowClotheshow 20012001 slice of hip hop.Add The Alchemist’s which features the sample of Sweet Fabric 02 - Terry Francis ascent to climax. 6/10 usual high production standards and Home Chicago, is quite special. To (Fabric Records) Disc two presents a more NU - in SP some clear and precise MCing Hard,Try And Find also stands out for NRG sound, opening with DJ The Clotheshow went live at included the Dreem Teem, Ed more recent ranges were some- of channel 5 and the Saturday about family and friends coming its edgier sound and vox by Jill The first thing to strike you about Darkzone’s The Human Form, the Birmingham’s NEC for yet another Case and Sweetie Irie of what shoddy.There were a few little shows Joe Mace (yup, to the horror first, and you’re left with a great Vader while Spirits with Jiwe with this album is the fantastic packaging tone is set for a dark and meaning- year of fashion, shopping and the Gorillaz fame. Galaxy FM also gems in the Portabello Market of many the lovely Dermot O record which reminds us that Doumbia, is great to capture all the - totally in line with the entire ful set. With a lot more buildups likes. Brimming with style and bar- entertained those who were all inspired area for those ready to dig Diddly was not to show!?), was Night SPEK there’s more to rap than the hypo- serenity of a yen garden. Na Na’s Fabric ethos of ‘the little touches’ and pounding bass lines Sinclair cer- gains this should have been every shopped out with competitions and deep. For streetwear, Addict had highly entertaining. The beautiful Smell the Coffee critical histrionics of gold chains, Waltz doesn’t entirely work to that enables it, as a club, to reign tainly captures the attention and is shopgirl(and boy)’s dream. The a showcase of new talents, including about the best on offer and some of people took to the stage in a range When The Paradise Club reopened (Echo) bitches and guns.Tres bien. bring about a poignant close, but supreme. Inside the cardboard obviously not prepared to let it go. clothes, the products, the an up-and-coming beat box talent. the better deals. With its own of, mainly highstreet, wares. last year with the promise of regular that aside this is a fine offering, packaging is a fantastic hinged, metal He displays his wide techno musical makeovers and the shows were all enclosure and very own party going Strangely enough it was as the mod- decent club nights those of us who’s There is no doubting the catchiness 8/10 though one that does have to work tin, which contains, among other background especially here, m.f.i.’s set to make for a hard day!! All the highstreets were there and a on, featuring Southampton’s els wore less that the crowd tolerance of cheese isn’t what it used of this track. Spek, although more RW hard at times to avoid being lost in things, your copy of Fabric’s second The Horn, bringing in a groovy edge few of the more exclusive fashion Defikew,Wrec et al,Addict certain- became most impressed, not least to be in the first year breathed a col- committed to hip-hop, will take the the background. offering from the usual Saturday to the sound. The quality of Both Twice as Nice and collections were on display. ly attracted the consumers. more vocal. The production really lective sigh of relief. mainstream by storm with this. It is night crowd. Sinclair’s retrospective mix, cover- Moneypennys provided musical was a delight to watch and the all the perfect blend of hip-hop beats, WILL YOUNG 7/10 Terry Francis is a weekly fabric res- ing “ten years of musical mayhem” accompaniment and the Synergy However, if truth be known the For me, it was the Ben de Lisi cat- strutting, all dancing, Elvis imperson- However, with the disappointing fail- funk and smooth vocals which Anything is Possible/ Evergreen CD ident playing his tastes in ‘tech cannot be denied, but this is cer- Stage was host to the National DJ actual clothing was not amazing. A walk display that presented the ating(!?) models gave a great per- ure of Squeeze 18 to maintain their makes this so playable. The rapping (RCA) house’ (amd some good consistent tainly only one for dedicated fol- Challenge. Acts also featured whole lot of queuing led to rails most desirable pieces,, though the formance. regular garage, drum and bass and is laidback and as the track rolls it beats, the highlight being the closing lowers of this type of music. through the course of proceedings filled with last years stock and the main catwalk show, hosted by a face Charlotte Devalda hard house nights, Southampton was will simply take you away with it. Unless you’ve been on Mars for the TIMO MASS track ‘My Love’ by Haris & Stubbs. again pitched back into the oblivion Although the tune is quite simple, it last 6 months then you will know Loud What I couldn’t ever see myself 8/10 of the likes of The Grande Fromage. is the mixture of rap, beats and that Will Young beat Gareth Gates (Perfecto) doing though, is dancing to it. SP female vocals that maintains the to become the UK’s first official As I sat and listened to the album a couple of elvis’ But fear not! incredibly good beat box interest. There is even that added “Pop Idol”. Unfortunately I was one This is Timo Maas’ debut solo whilst ambling over some revision With Debauchery back on a Friday indian flava- Missy Elliot style! of those people who sat in reli- album, although you’ll know him notes I thought to myself that this there is something for every hard Spooks certainly saw its potentiali- giously every Saturday night with a from his work with Madonna (on scene wasn’t right. If I stick some- house junkie .And its true your name ty, providing a first class remix. bottle of wine and devoured the Don’t Tell Me) and Fatboy Slim (on thing that I’d hear in Fabric on, I doesn’t have to be Andy C to mix a cheesy talent show phenomenon. Star 69).And Placebo... oh dear. But want to be getting palpitations. I VARIOUS great set. For its first night Slam 8/10 So is the finished result any good? A when he’s not spending his time want the hairs on the back of my Another Late Night- Mixed by pulled in a near capacity crowd and SP couple of months ago, in the midst helping out (the irritating vacuous neck to stand up. Zero 7 the atmosphere was friendly and up- of my Will worship, I would have androgynous prick) Brian Molko’s This would be a great album to (Treacle) for-it. Everyone was glad that at last it been shocked to hear myself say ailing music career,he’s in the studio stick on when everybody has finally looks like The Paradise Club has “Erm...it’s ok.” Yes, Evergreen is the with Martin Buttrich producing this left the party though and you’re The latest in the series of Another struck gold and will continue with reg- most annoyingly catchy tune on the entrancing collection. quite happy to lie on your bed and Late Night albums sees Zero 7 ular weekly drum and bass. MC Supa history of the planet.Yes, whenever Now, I expect most of you will just, err, relax. I even thought this putting together a groovy chill-out last seen at the November Paradox MIDDLEROW/COOLTEMPO you hear it, it is nearly impossible know To Get Down already, but he would be a great album to stick on mix. In fact, chill is of the essence was back in town and as usual got Right Proper Charlie not to hum along but to be honest; only plays with that style for a short when you’re having a bath with all here, as Zero 7 pick tracks from the crowd hyped.The Old Skool room (Middlerow Records) the song is not that good.“Eyes like while before experimenting some- candles and stuff. Bad Company or Roots Manuva, (Witness), Jim was run by local boys Hovis and Data a sunrise?” what’s that about? It will thing equally interesting.Almost like Tech Itch it aint, but it is good. O’Rourke (Ghost Ship in a Storm) and perhaps had some of the best From the Mean Machine soundtrack go to number one and will have a child let loose in a toyshop. The Anyway the EDGE is looking for- and Ninja Tune’s Cinematic atmosphere in the place.You can tell it is imaginable what this track is massive sales but I seriously hope, opener, Help Me (featuring Kelis), is ward to the next Fabric live release Orchestra amongst others. they love their stuff and the last hour like, just like the film- a bit of a laugh as with all Will fans out there that haunting and sets a very high stan- (the sister to the Fabric releases The album flows together well as a of ragga and jump up was brilliant but not quite Oscar material.Taking the next single, and the forthcoming dard. It’s a standard continued by covering the Friday night end if the whole, and is perfect to cure those and had the crowd dancing till the a unique spin on UK Garage, the album, shows a bit of the originality the ominous clock in the middle of business) which is set to have Hype lonely post-clubbing blues. Also very last (and their sign-off Star Wars track’s all about lads being ‘a right and scope that we saw throughout Manga, the deadpan philosophical at the controls. Bring it on. works as a downbeat party sound- theme tune!). All in all a Slammin’ proper charlie,’ i.e. doing what you the show. musings on We Are Nothing, the track. night and we look forward to many shouldn’t and landing right in it.The beat-infested crescendo which model more. beats and vocals are a bit clownish. 6/10 includes the primitive Like Love and 7/10 behaviour Might be one of those tracks that IH buzzing Ubik (with vocals reminis- 7/10 ES Stacy Yelland makes it due to its own confi- cent of Hooked On a Feeling, you PC PAGE 14 PAGE 15 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 28

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of ‘LK (Carolina Carol Bela)’ by Jorge Ben & Toquinho.This was followed up by ‘Midnight’ to the FUTURE WORLD FUSION crowds great joy. The only thing that could have made this combination any better FUTURE WORLD FUSION and threatening for more tunes for the occasion. would have been following it up The Talking Heads when the plug was pulled at Taking over from Alexi was the with ‘Shake It’ by Shy FX, but alas, 16/02/02 one o’clock. man known as Felix, a some time time was not on our side.Then, just The first DJ to grace the stage with fixture in London’s Jazz Cafe, in like that, five hours had passed in a With the promise of funk,Afro- his presence was Alexi who soon what was a fairly rare appearance. flash and we were faced with the Cuban salsa, hip-hop, swing, got the early starters going. Before As Felix plied the ever-burgeoning cold walk home with just the mem- punk, gospel, ska, reggae, dub, long Alexi dropped the killer ver- crowd with his mix up of original ories of the hot salsa action of the drum ‘n’ bass and filthyger- sion of Michael Jackson’s ‘Billie Jean’ Afro-Cuban salsa rhythms the tem- It’s your last chance to vote in the evening to keep us warm. manacidtechno the aptly which is doing the rounds at the perature was reaching boiling point The next Future World Fusion named night at the Heads moment which saw the dance-floor in the Heads again. night at the Heads is on March 16 Bricks... so come on! Tell us what you sounded as if it could be some- fill up to a level he kept for the rest Backed up with live conga percus- and will feature the live skills of thing to everyone. Something of his set. In one of his first live out- sion the tunes Felix were dropping Smerin’s Anti Social Club as well as to everyone it was too, with a ings Alexi proved to be both techni- were making it impossible for any- think! Bring entries up to our office in a host of DJs. Well worth checking capacity crowd baying, begging cally competent and to have the one to stand still for more than long out. enough to re-hydrate oneself. Hip shaking was in the, now full, house the West Building or e-mail them to The almighty Paul Cornwell stinky sound on a grand scale. Felix system with A more common fixture in the [email protected] big T on the Heads as of late, the almighty stinky congas sound system, succeeded Felix but Now THAT is a crowd who are loving it. lost nobody from the dance-floor in the process. Consisting of Kuba (a.k.a. The Stink Master), Big Bad- BEST BAND TOP TV SHOW Ass Al and Little Jah Strange Pork the multifarious tone of the evening was kept by the trio on the three BEST MALE TOP FILM deck set up. The almighty stinky sound system BEST FEMALE KNOB OF THE YEAR Photos: Paul Cornwell tore it up and seemingly made half- twelve roll up in no time.With less than half an hour to go and after some teasing with a little bit BEST LIVE ACT BEST BAND SPLIT UP ‘Midnight’ by Uncut, the smattering of d&b touched down in the guise of the DJ Marky and XRS Land mix BEST DJ SEPTEMEBR 11TH AWARD FOR SICKENING AND OVER THE TOP BEST ALBUM PATRIOTISM UK Supercross BEST SINGLE SO SOLID CREW AWARD FOR So, strictly speaking Massive Attack’s finest, “Unfinished the penultimate round of the ting the ceiling as they made huge 250cc finals... THE BEST BEATING OF A FIF- Supercross is a sport. One of Sympathy”, opened the doors on competition and its freshly built air over the jumps.The tension was the most popular motor- the contenders as the competition track was the smallest. This built as the heat, featuring the The 125 race saw Tom Church BEST SUSU EVENT TEEN YEAR OLD GIRL sports in the US no less, and got under way.This being the British proved to cause some technical fastest losers, offered the very last take the glory. Stephen Sword, growing at an exciting rate Championships, the very best in difficulties and the riders strug- opportunity to get into the final. who went on to win the 125cc over here. However,go to any british were out. The contenders gled to find form. The riders dug deep- riding one of championship, managed only supercross event and even if came from all classes, though it was these machines is surprising hard fourth. On the 250’s Hucklebridge, H2O is back for another the fast paced, dirt making, with the 125cc and 250cc groups The heats were fairly quiet in work and these chaps really are having survived a nasty clash with year and the line up is even action doesn’t thrill, you’re that most of the action was going racing terms but the crowd were highly tuned athletes. Warren Edwards, was first to see more bad-ass than any guaranteed still to be enter- on. gripped by the frequent tangles the chequered flag. He did go on tained (plus it’s all indoor so and by the more flamboyant rac- At last it came to the 125cc and to win the title. other time before. no standing about daring to Exeter was the host of what was ing styles, some in danger of hit- TUESDAY 19TH MARCH 2002 Not only are smut dons brave the British elements). There being something a little SOUTHAMPTON GUILDHALL Bad Company gracing us glamorous about motorsports, the with their filth but so is Intervals between races were 8.45 - 2.00 AM TICKETS £10 winning riders obliged in a victory Adam F, The Scratch filled with pyrotechnics, competi- lap before fighting through the tions, scantily clad girls (to some press and TV crews to find their Perverts and Rodney P more desirable than others!) and podiums. Greeted with flowers, and Skitz! the massive Red Bull freestyle bubbles and of course the race Preceeding this veritable event. The high powered dirt titles, the riders were undoubted- onslaught of beatz is an bikes soared through the air as ly wired. Pleased with their per- urban fashion show with the riders exhibited true gymnas- formance ‘twas off to celebrate. tic flair to pull off some seriously the likes of Addict, extreme moves. Chris Brock Quiksilver and Just Add rightly convinced the crowd to C. Devalda Water touting their wears. make him the event winner. All this and all profits go to a very worthy charity! Bo!

PAGE 16 PAGE 17 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 30

28th February 2002 28th February 2002 dance of ‘LK (Carolina Carol Bela)’ by Jorge Ben & Toquinho.This was followed up by ‘Midnight’ to the FUTURE WORLD FUSION crowds great joy. The only thing that could have made this combination any better FUTURE WORLD FUSION and threatening for more tunes for the occasion. would have been following it up The Talking Heads when the plug was pulled at Taking over from Alexi was the with ‘Shake It’ by Shy FX, but alas, 16/02/02 one o’clock. man known as Felix, a some time time was not on our side.Then, just The first DJ to grace the stage with fixture in London’s Jazz Cafe, in like that, five hours had passed in a With the promise of funk,Afro- his presence was Alexi who soon what was a fairly rare appearance. flash and we were faced with the Cuban salsa, hip-hop, swing, got the early starters going. Before As Felix plied the ever-burgeoning cold walk home with just the mem- punk, gospel, ska, reggae, dub, long Alexi dropped the killer ver- crowd with his mix up of original ories of the hot salsa action of the drum ‘n’ bass and filthyger- sion of Michael Jackson’s ‘Billie Jean’ Afro-Cuban salsa rhythms the tem- It’s your last chance to vote in the evening to keep us warm. manacidtechno the aptly which is doing the rounds at the perature was reaching boiling point The next Future World Fusion named night at the Heads moment which saw the dance-floor in the Heads again. night at the Heads is on March 16 Bricks... so come on! Tell us what you sounded as if it could be some- fill up to a level he kept for the rest Backed up with live conga percus- and will feature the live skills of thing to everyone. Something of his set. In one of his first live out- sion the tunes Felix were dropping Smerin’s Anti Social Club as well as to everyone it was too, with a ings Alexi proved to be both techni- were making it impossible for any- think! Bring entries up to our office in a host of DJs. Well worth checking capacity crowd baying, begging cally competent and to have the one to stand still for more than long out. enough to re-hydrate oneself. Hip shaking was in the, now full, house the West Building or e-mail them to The almighty Paul Cornwell stinky sound on a grand scale. Felix system with A more common fixture in the [email protected] big T on the Heads as of late, the almighty stinky congas sound system, succeeded Felix but Now THAT is a crowd who are loving it. lost nobody from the dance-floor in the process. Consisting of Kuba (a.k.a. The Stink Master), Big Bad- BEST BAND TOP TV SHOW Ass Al and Little Jah Strange Pork the multifarious tone of the evening was kept by the trio on the three BEST MALE TOP FILM deck set up. The almighty stinky sound system BEST FEMALE KNOB OF THE YEAR Photos: Paul Cornwell tore it up and seemingly made half- twelve roll up in no time.With less than half an hour to go and after some teasing with a little bit BEST LIVE ACT BEST BAND SPLIT UP ‘Midnight’ by Uncut, the smattering of d&b touched down in the guise of the DJ Marky and XRS Land mix BEST DJ SEPTEMEBR 11TH AWARD FOR SICKENING AND OVER THE TOP BEST ALBUM PATRIOTISM UK Supercross BEST SINGLE SO SOLID CREW AWARD FOR So, strictly speaking Massive Attack’s finest, “Unfinished the penultimate round of the ting the ceiling as they made huge 250cc finals... THE BEST BEATING OF A FIF- Supercross is a sport. One of Sympathy”, opened the doors on competition and its freshly built air over the jumps.The tension was the most popular motor- the contenders as the competition track was the smallest. This built as the heat, featuring the The 125 race saw Tom Church BEST SUSU EVENT TEEN YEAR OLD GIRL sports in the US no less, and got under way.This being the British proved to cause some technical fastest losers, offered the very last take the glory. Stephen Sword, growing at an exciting rate Championships, the very best in difficulties and the riders strug- opportunity to get into the final. who went on to win the 125cc over here. However,go to any british were out. The contenders gled to find form. The riders dug deep- riding one of championship, managed only supercross event and even if came from all classes, though it was these machines is surprising hard fourth. On the 250’s Hucklebridge, H2O is back for another the fast paced, dirt making, with the 125cc and 250cc groups The heats were fairly quiet in work and these chaps really are having survived a nasty clash with year and the line up is even action doesn’t thrill, you’re that most of the action was going racing terms but the crowd were highly tuned athletes. Warren Edwards, was first to see more bad-ass than any guaranteed still to be enter- on. gripped by the frequent tangles the chequered flag. He did go on tained (plus it’s all indoor so and by the more flamboyant rac- At last it came to the 125cc and to win the title. other time before. no standing about daring to Exeter was the host of what was ing styles, some in danger of hit- TUESDAY 19TH MARCH 2002 Not only are smut dons brave the British elements). There being something a little SOUTHAMPTON GUILDHALL Bad Company gracing us glamorous about motorsports, the with their filth but so is Intervals between races were 8.45 - 2.00 AM TICKETS £10 winning riders obliged in a victory Adam F, The Scratch filled with pyrotechnics, competi- lap before fighting through the tions, scantily clad girls (to some press and TV crews to find their Perverts and Rodney P more desirable than others!) and podiums. Greeted with flowers, and Skitz! the massive Red Bull freestyle bubbles and of course the race Preceeding this veritable event. The high powered dirt titles, the riders were undoubted- onslaught of beatz is an bikes soared through the air as ly wired. Pleased with their per- urban fashion show with the riders exhibited true gymnas- formance ‘twas off to celebrate. tic flair to pull off some seriously the likes of Addict, extreme moves. Chris Brock Quiksilver and Just Add rightly convinced the crowd to C. Devalda Water touting their wears. make him the event winner. All this and all profits go to a very worthy charity! Bo!

PAGE 16 PAGE 17 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 32

28th February 2002 28th February 2002 FILM FILM

probably have played their parts There is nothing new or original Monsters, Inc.’s top scare team - standing on their heads. about this film. It has elements of James ‘Sully’ Sullivan and Mike The themes of class and race con- many recent films such as Lock Stock Wachowski - is in town.Yep, it turns flict may have been what attracted and Two Smoking Barrels, Mission out you were right all the time; in the unlikely directors, the Hughes Impossible, Gone in 60 Seconds, and fact, the screams of small children brothers (makers of films like Out of Sight, of which the latter is all over the world are being bottled Menace II Society and Dead not surprising due to the fact that in order to power the city of Presidents), to this project; unfortu- Soderbergh directed Clooney in Monstropolis. But what we don’t nately their approach is so heavy- that picture. However that doesn’t realise is that they’re just as scared handed it’s irritating, their upper- matter due to the humour and ten- of us as we are of them - children class English toffs insisting that sion and the whole package works are very, very toxic. Abbeline should be looking for the well. Predictably, of course, a girl (affec- killer among the Irish, the Jews, and Apart from Ocean himself, none tionately named “Boo” by Sully) the tradesmen, rather than educat- of the characters have much depth, manages to breach security at the ed men. Unskillful social commen- and we are left not caring much scare factory, and our heroes are tary aside, From Hell is predictable, about them. But this doesn’t take left to “put that thing back where it twee, far-fetched and unsubtle in anything away from the enjoyment came from” whilst simultaneously equal measures. It’s a horror movie of the film. This film doesn’t take thwarting the conniving schemes of that wants to be intelligent, but itself too seriously and I believe nei- evil mastermind monster Randall. unlike Jack the Ripper, it doesn’t get ther should the audience. Many of This is exactly the kind of fun-filled away with it. the lesser characters are humorous family fare we’ve come to expect stereotypes, such as the small from Pixar, the animation studio Georgi Vaughn Japanese man who can’t speak behind A Bug’s Life and the Toy Story much English, the brothers who are films. Once again, the secret to suc- always having childish arguments cessful animation seems to be the leads, Washington and Hawke. cess. His work mates tell him to Ocean’s 11 Above: Denzel Washington gives (which most people still do with choice of subject matter that is par- Oscar nominated for his role in this give up on them and stop being so some druggie a good slapping in Director: Steven Soderbergh their brothers and sisters), and the ticularly suited to that medium, and film, Washington gives a perform- shallow, in order to try and find Training Day Starring: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Cockney who speaks his own lan- wouldn’t be better done as live ance like you have never seen him himself a girlfriend with personality Matt Damon, Julia Roberts, and Andy guage (with a very exagerated fake action. Evidence of that success before, well worthy of an Oscar,and instead of looks. However, nothing Left: Josh Hartnett radios for Garcia. accent). comes in the form of the recent Hawke keeps up with a contrasting can change Hal’s ‘condition’, until he help in Black Hawk Down Clooney does a great job of the Oscar nomination, where Monsters, role in the officer/rookie and gets stuck in a lift with a self-help Daniel Ocean (George Clooney), lead in this film starring alongside a Inc. will be fighting it out with Shrek good/bad cop scenario. guru.The guru (in a way) hypnotises recently released from prison, strong cast, and proves himself as in the new animation category. Other small appearances come him to see the inner beauty of wastes no time in looking up his old one of the biggest players in Overall, this is an enjoyable 90 from Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr. women instead of their outward friend, Rusty (Brad Pitt) to help him Hollywood. minutes. Goodman and Crystal are Training Day Dre to add to the LA gangster feel, appearance. So on this note, pull of the biggest job of his career. I would recommend this film to entertaining enough as the central Director:Antoine Fuqua although Dr. Dre’s acting is below Gwyneth Paltrow enters as the gor- With Rusty’s help, he plans to steal everyone. Great light-hearted pairing, and Buscemi provides the Starring: Denzel Washington and par. geous Rosemary, but only in Hal’s the money from not one, but three entertainment. suitably slimy voice of Randall. Ethan Hawke I would definitely recommend this eyes.As we can tell she is actually a of the biggest casinos in Las Vegas, Niall McAuliffe There are some good gags in there, film unless you have a distinct huge "rhino", who the old Hal where the prize of the job will be and the door rollercoaster Having spent a few years on the hatred for violence. It is just a would never even glance at. This over $150 million. All the money Monsters, Inc. sequence is particularly inspired. police force, Jake Hoyt (Ethan shame that with bigger names like takes his friend by extreme shock, from these three casinos is kept in The only way Monsters, Inc. might Hawke), an LAPD cop, has an Tom Cruise, George Clooney, Brad and he spends most of his time try- Directors: Docter, Silverman and one vault where security is one of disappoint is if you’re expecting a opportunity to join the narcotics Pitt, and Will Smith (aka Muhammad ing to convince Hal of Rosemary’s Ulkiche the best in the world. Due to the similar amount of aimed-at-adults unit. He must prove his worth on Ali) releasing films at similar times, actual size. But Hal has become complexity of this, Ocean and Rusty Voices: John Goodman and Billy Crystal humour to that of Toy Story. It’s the one day of training, under the Training Day could get forgotten absolutely besotted with her, and enlist the help from other experts only thing that’s missing, but if the watchful eye of Alonzo Harris about. the size 26 thong she throws at who they would need for the job. Remember how your mum always majority of the movie works on just What we have here (after the first (Denzel Washington). But neither him, as well as the massive splash Each has certain skills which are Black Hawk Down confidently reassured you that one level, it’s still a cut above the half an hour) is a 90-minute running Harris nor the narcotics unit are Niall McAuliffe she makes in a swimming pool, beneficial to the job in hand, such as Director: Ridley Scott there wasn’t really a monster under competition. See this if you want battle. It is brutal and unrelenting. how Hoyt pictured then. apparently don’t give him any kind surveillance specialist, bombing Starring: Josh Hartnett, Ewan your bed, in your cupboard, or your share of good old-fashioned Nationalism and machismo are Set in LA, the streetwise Harris of hint of her actual size. expert, inside knowledge etc. Now indeed in any other convenient chuckles - and as usual from Pixar, McGregor thankfully kept to a minimum in the shows a straight-laced Hoyt a dif- Shallow Hal The film does have some typical the eleven are all set to carry out hidey-hole? That’s right dear, you there’s a little bit extra thrown in, name of gritty realism. Headed by ferent side to police work where Directed by: Peter and Bobby Farrelly Hollywood attributes, which I guess From Hell Britain, the Hughes brothers’ movie the robbery. see, there’s nothing frightening so be sure to stay for the closing What to expect from an American the curiously uncharismatic Josh not everything is by the book. Starring: Gwyneth Paltrow, Jack Black, are unavoidable, such as the fact Directors:Albert and Allen Hughes amounts to little more than a stan- But with the high security and vig- here, so off to sleep now, safe and credits. war film - of which the release date Hartnett, the cast is otherwise I won’t tell you too much about the Jason Alexander. that the beautiful women have dard slasher flick. While the gore ilant boss, Benedict (Andy Garcia), Starring: Johnny Depp, Heather sound... Georgi Vaughn was brought forward, post- good, though why it was necessary plot because I don’t want to ruin it mainly ugly personalities, and ugly Graham isn’t handled too badly, sometimes not to mention Ocean’s ex wife, Well, not anymore, because September 11th, to take advantage to cast Brits as American soldiers is for you. My opinion of Shallow Hal could people have beautiful personalities. graphic but frequently only suggest- Tess (Julia Roberts), making an of war fervour across the pond? anyone’s guess. Particularly if, like With Hollywood having churned be considered as a bit biased due to This is ironically expressed through The year is 1888, and in the ed to the audience’s mind, any appearance, will Ocean’s plan run Patriotic, sentimental propaganda, Ewan McGregor, they don’t seem out cop thrillers by the bucket load the fact that I spent the entire film them being really good looking in gloomy streets of London’s attempt at suspense falls short of smoothly? right? quite able to hold the accent. over the years (the ‘Lethal Weapon’ sitting on a seat with chewing gum Hal’s eyes. Also the fact that Whitechapel district, a killer is prey- the mark. As Abbeline’s investiga- Based on a 1960’s film under the Wrong - in this case at least. In The cinematography is up to series, Rush Hour 1 & 2, even Turner stuck to it, which then inevitably Gwyneth Paltrow is very rarely ing on a group of hapless prosti- tion threatens to implicate the same name, starring the rat pack October 1992, in war-torn Somalia, Ridley Scott’s usual beautifully craft- and Hooch to name but a few), I did- stuck to me. Surely this would make filmed in the fat suit, and it is even Royal Family and the Freemasons, (Frank Sinatra et al), this remake tutes. The killer is Jack the Ripper, LOCAL CINEMAS American forces were sent into the ed high standard; you’ll believe n’t have the eager anticipation I more rare for her (fat version) face ‘whodunnit’ remains glaringly obvi- me more in the mood for a come- and the task of stopping him with an all-star cast has everything capital, Mogadishu, to capture two often have going to the cinema. to be in close up.This should gener- ous, and the final twist can be seen Harbour Lights Picture UGC you’re there, although you’ll wish dy?? However the Farrelly brothers, belongs to Inspector Abbeline to entertain a modern audience. of the top lieutenants of warlord But I was pleasantly surprised. ally not be taken to heart though, coming a mile off. House 4 Ocean Way you weren’t.The film misfires slight- who directed the extremely popu- (Depp), who seeks clues not only in There is one word to describe this Mohammed Farrah Aidid.When one Director Antoine Fuqua takes you because it is meant to be a light Still, the Hughes’ London is ly in the inclusion of two slightly lar There’s Something About Mary, the grimy streets, but in his opium- film and that’s ‘fun’. Ocean Village Ocean Village of their Black Hawk helicopters is along with Hawke and Washington comedy. However, the fact that the authentically dark It’s a pity the comedic soldiers who get left made this film perhaps a little more induced psychic visions. Mary Kelly Apparently director Steven shot down, it becomes a disastrous on a journey through the criminal film concentrates much more on same can’t be said for Graham, who Southampton S014 Southampton S014 behind. Please, Ridley,if you’re trying thoughtful than I expected of them. (Graham) is the whore-with-a- Soderbergh’s intention was "to 15-hour battle in which 19 world of LA. This film gets your whether true beauty is on the is always far too clean for a prosti- Film Info: 023 80234234 Tel:0870555132 to do incessant battle, don’t cop out Shallow Hal tells the story of Hal, heart-of-gold seemingly fated to be make a movie that has no desire Americans and hundreds of adrenaline pumping, and should inside and other clichés, makes it tute, and sounds like she’s constant- and throw in some comic relief. who only fancies really gorgeous, the Ripper’s final target – but will except to give pleasure from begin- Somalians lost their lives.This is not appeal to girls just as much as guys. lack the memorable gags of There’s ly struggling with her accent. Depp With that exception, Black Hawk unattainable, younger women. So Abbeline manage to save her in ning to end." In that case he has The Phoenix (films every The Odeon a story of American triumph. It is This was a great form of escapism Something About Mary. is better, just getting away with his Down doesn’t pull any punches, so every night him and his friend time? achieved his objective. about a failure of intelligence which from the placid student life we have South London tones, but more Wednesday at Boldrewood) Leisure World make sure you come prepared. (Jason Alexander) go out to a club Based on Alan Moore’s acclaimed The familiar faces add to the leaves troops struggling for survival adapted to in Southampton. It’s a impressive are the supporting cast - to try and chat up these women, graphic novel which by all accounts engaging plot, which keeps the audi- Film Info: [email protected] Southampton S015 in hostile territory while the com- whole different world, although the such British heavyweights as Robbie and every night they have the same offers a subtle and insightful com- ence entertained throughout the Tel:08705050007 manding officer back in camp des- characters are easily identifiable and Nina Dubravec Coltrane, and Ian Holm, who could Georgi Vaughn problem- their constant lack of suc- mentary on the values of Victorian film. perately tries to get them out. well portrayed by the two strong PAGE 18 PAGE 19 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 32

28th February 2002 28th February 2002 FILM FILM probably have played their parts There is nothing new or original Monsters, Inc.’s top scare team - standing on their heads. about this film. It has elements of James ‘Sully’ Sullivan and Mike The themes of class and race con- many recent films such as Lock Stock Wachowski - is in town.Yep, it turns flict may have been what attracted and Two Smoking Barrels, Mission out you were right all the time; in the unlikely directors, the Hughes Impossible, Gone in 60 Seconds, and fact, the screams of small children brothers (makers of films like Out of Sight, of which the latter is all over the world are being bottled Menace II Society and Dead not surprising due to the fact that in order to power the city of Presidents), to this project; unfortu- Soderbergh directed Clooney in Monstropolis. But what we don’t nately their approach is so heavy- that picture. However that doesn’t realise is that they’re just as scared handed it’s irritating, their upper- matter due to the humour and ten- of us as we are of them - children class English toffs insisting that sion and the whole package works are very, very toxic. Abbeline should be looking for the well. Predictably, of course, a girl (affec- killer among the Irish, the Jews, and Apart from Ocean himself, none tionately named “Boo” by Sully) the tradesmen, rather than educat- of the characters have much depth, manages to breach security at the ed men. Unskillful social commen- and we are left not caring much scare factory, and our heroes are tary aside, From Hell is predictable, about them. But this doesn’t take left to “put that thing back where it twee, far-fetched and unsubtle in anything away from the enjoyment came from” whilst simultaneously equal measures. It’s a horror movie of the film. This film doesn’t take thwarting the conniving schemes of that wants to be intelligent, but itself too seriously and I believe nei- evil mastermind monster Randall. unlike Jack the Ripper, it doesn’t get ther should the audience. Many of This is exactly the kind of fun-filled away with it. the lesser characters are humorous family fare we’ve come to expect stereotypes, such as the small from Pixar, the animation studio Georgi Vaughn Japanese man who can’t speak behind A Bug’s Life and the Toy Story much English, the brothers who are films. Once again, the secret to suc- always having childish arguments cessful animation seems to be the leads, Washington and Hawke. cess. His work mates tell him to Ocean’s 11 Above: Denzel Washington gives (which most people still do with choice of subject matter that is par- Oscar nominated for his role in this give up on them and stop being so some druggie a good slapping in Director: Steven Soderbergh their brothers and sisters), and the ticularly suited to that medium, and film, Washington gives a perform- shallow, in order to try and find Training Day Starring: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Cockney who speaks his own lan- wouldn’t be better done as live ance like you have never seen him himself a girlfriend with personality Matt Damon, Julia Roberts, and Andy guage (with a very exagerated fake action. Evidence of that success before, well worthy of an Oscar,and instead of looks. However, nothing Left: Josh Hartnett radios for Garcia. accent). comes in the form of the recent Hawke keeps up with a contrasting can change Hal’s ‘condition’, until he help in Black Hawk Down Clooney does a great job of the Oscar nomination, where Monsters, role in the officer/rookie and gets stuck in a lift with a self-help Daniel Ocean (George Clooney), lead in this film starring alongside a Inc. will be fighting it out with Shrek good/bad cop scenario. guru.The guru (in a way) hypnotises recently released from prison, strong cast, and proves himself as in the new animation category. Other small appearances come him to see the inner beauty of wastes no time in looking up his old one of the biggest players in Overall, this is an enjoyable 90 from Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr. women instead of their outward friend, Rusty (Brad Pitt) to help him Hollywood. minutes. Goodman and Crystal are Training Day Dre to add to the LA gangster feel, appearance. So on this note, pull of the biggest job of his career. I would recommend this film to entertaining enough as the central Director:Antoine Fuqua although Dr. Dre’s acting is below Gwyneth Paltrow enters as the gor- With Rusty’s help, he plans to steal everyone. Great light-hearted pairing, and Buscemi provides the Starring: Denzel Washington and par. geous Rosemary, but only in Hal’s the money from not one, but three entertainment. suitably slimy voice of Randall. Ethan Hawke I would definitely recommend this eyes.As we can tell she is actually a of the biggest casinos in Las Vegas, Niall McAuliffe There are some good gags in there, film unless you have a distinct huge "rhino", who the old Hal where the prize of the job will be and the door rollercoaster Having spent a few years on the hatred for violence. It is just a would never even glance at. This over $150 million. All the money Monsters, Inc. sequence is particularly inspired. police force, Jake Hoyt (Ethan shame that with bigger names like takes his friend by extreme shock, from these three casinos is kept in The only way Monsters, Inc. might Hawke), an LAPD cop, has an Tom Cruise, George Clooney, Brad and he spends most of his time try- Directors: Docter, Silverman and one vault where security is one of disappoint is if you’re expecting a opportunity to join the narcotics Pitt, and Will Smith (aka Muhammad ing to convince Hal of Rosemary’s Ulkiche the best in the world. Due to the similar amount of aimed-at-adults unit. He must prove his worth on Ali) releasing films at similar times, actual size. But Hal has become complexity of this, Ocean and Rusty Voices: John Goodman and Billy Crystal humour to that of Toy Story. It’s the one day of training, under the Training Day could get forgotten absolutely besotted with her, and enlist the help from other experts only thing that’s missing, but if the watchful eye of Alonzo Harris about. the size 26 thong she throws at who they would need for the job. Remember how your mum always majority of the movie works on just What we have here (after the first (Denzel Washington). But neither him, as well as the massive splash Each has certain skills which are Black Hawk Down confidently reassured you that one level, it’s still a cut above the half an hour) is a 90-minute running Harris nor the narcotics unit are Niall McAuliffe she makes in a swimming pool, beneficial to the job in hand, such as Director: Ridley Scott there wasn’t really a monster under competition. See this if you want battle. It is brutal and unrelenting. how Hoyt pictured then. apparently don’t give him any kind surveillance specialist, bombing Starring: Josh Hartnett, Ewan your bed, in your cupboard, or your share of good old-fashioned Nationalism and machismo are Set in LA, the streetwise Harris of hint of her actual size. expert, inside knowledge etc. Now indeed in any other convenient chuckles - and as usual from Pixar, McGregor thankfully kept to a minimum in the shows a straight-laced Hoyt a dif- Shallow Hal The film does have some typical the eleven are all set to carry out hidey-hole? That’s right dear, you there’s a little bit extra thrown in, name of gritty realism. Headed by ferent side to police work where Directed by: Peter and Bobby Farrelly Hollywood attributes, which I guess From Hell Britain, the Hughes brothers’ movie the robbery. see, there’s nothing frightening so be sure to stay for the closing What to expect from an American the curiously uncharismatic Josh not everything is by the book. Starring: Gwyneth Paltrow, Jack Black, are unavoidable, such as the fact Directors:Albert and Allen Hughes amounts to little more than a stan- But with the high security and vig- here, so off to sleep now, safe and credits. war film - of which the release date Hartnett, the cast is otherwise I won’t tell you too much about the Jason Alexander. that the beautiful women have dard slasher flick. While the gore ilant boss, Benedict (Andy Garcia), Starring: Johnny Depp, Heather sound... Georgi Vaughn was brought forward, post- good, though why it was necessary plot because I don’t want to ruin it mainly ugly personalities, and ugly Graham isn’t handled too badly, sometimes not to mention Ocean’s ex wife, Well, not anymore, because September 11th, to take advantage to cast Brits as American soldiers is for you. My opinion of Shallow Hal could people have beautiful personalities. graphic but frequently only suggest- Tess (Julia Roberts), making an of war fervour across the pond? anyone’s guess. Particularly if, like With Hollywood having churned be considered as a bit biased due to This is ironically expressed through The year is 1888, and in the ed to the audience’s mind, any appearance, will Ocean’s plan run Patriotic, sentimental propaganda, Ewan McGregor, they don’t seem out cop thrillers by the bucket load the fact that I spent the entire film them being really good looking in gloomy streets of London’s attempt at suspense falls short of smoothly? right? quite able to hold the accent. over the years (the ‘Lethal Weapon’ sitting on a seat with chewing gum Hal’s eyes. Also the fact that Whitechapel district, a killer is prey- the mark. As Abbeline’s investiga- Based on a 1960’s film under the Wrong - in this case at least. In The cinematography is up to series, Rush Hour 1 & 2, even Turner stuck to it, which then inevitably Gwyneth Paltrow is very rarely ing on a group of hapless prosti- tion threatens to implicate the same name, starring the rat pack October 1992, in war-torn Somalia, Ridley Scott’s usual beautifully craft- and Hooch to name but a few), I did- stuck to me. Surely this would make filmed in the fat suit, and it is even Royal Family and the Freemasons, (Frank Sinatra et al), this remake tutes. The killer is Jack the Ripper, LOCALCINEMAS American forces were sent into the ed high standard; you’ll believe n’t have the eager anticipation I more rare for her (fat version) face ‘whodunnit’ remains glaringly obvi- me more in the mood for a come- and the task of stopping him with an all-star cast has everything capital, Mogadishu, to capture two often have going to the cinema. to be in close up.This should gener- ous, and the final twist can be seen Harbour Lights Picture UGC you’re there, although you’ll wish dy?? However the Farrelly brothers, belongs to Inspector Abbeline to entertain a modern audience. of the top lieutenants of warlord But I was pleasantly surprised. ally not be taken to heart though, coming a mile off. House 4 Ocean Way you weren’t.The film misfires slight- who directed the extremely popu- (Depp), who seeks clues not only in There is one word to describe this Mohammed Farrah Aidid.When one Director Antoine Fuqua takes you because it is meant to be a light Still, the Hughes’ London is ly in the inclusion of two slightly lar There’s Something About Mary, the grimy streets, but in his opium- film and that’s ‘fun’. Ocean Village Ocean Village of their Black Hawk helicopters is along with Hawke and Washington comedy. However, the fact that the authentically dark It’s a pity the comedic soldiers who get left made this film perhaps a little more induced psychic visions. Mary Kelly Apparently director Steven shot down, it becomes a disastrous on a journey through the criminal film concentrates much more on same can’t be said for Graham, who Southampton S014 Southampton S014 behind. Please, Ridley,if you’re trying thoughtful than I expected of them. (Graham) is the whore-with-a- Soderbergh’s intention was "to 15-hour battle in which 19 world of LA. This film gets your whether true beauty is on the is always far too clean for a prosti- Film Info: 023 80234234 Tel:0870555132 to do incessant battle, don’t cop out Shallow Hal tells the story of Hal, heart-of-gold seemingly fated to be make a movie that has no desire Americans and hundreds of adrenaline pumping, and should inside and other clichés, makes it tute, and sounds like she’s constant- and throw in some comic relief. who only fancies really gorgeous, the Ripper’s final target – but will except to give pleasure from begin- Somalians lost their lives.This is not appeal to girls just as much as guys. lack the memorable gags of There’s ly struggling with her accent. Depp With that exception, Black Hawk unattainable, younger women. So Abbeline manage to save her in ning to end." In that case he has The Phoenix (films every The Odeon a story of American triumph. It is This was a great form of escapism Something About Mary. is better, just getting away with his Down doesn’t pull any punches, so every night him and his friend time? achieved his objective. about a failure of intelligence which from the placid student life we have South London tones, but more Wednesday at Boldrewood) Leisure World make sure you come prepared. (Jason Alexander) go out to a club Based on Alan Moore’s acclaimed The familiar faces add to the leaves troops struggling for survival adapted to in Southampton. It’s a impressive are the supporting cast - to try and chat up these women, graphic novel which by all accounts engaging plot, which keeps the audi- Film Info: [email protected] Southampton S015 in hostile territory while the com- whole different world, although the such British heavyweights as Robbie and every night they have the same offers a subtle and insightful com- ence entertained throughout the Tel:08705050007 manding officer back in camp des- characters are easily identifiable and Nina Dubravec Coltrane, and Ian Holm, who could Georgi Vaughn problem- their constant lack of suc- mentary on the values of Victorian film. perately tries to get them out. well portrayed by the two strong PAGE 18 PAGE 19 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 34

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28th February 2002 FILM University Halls are also prone to risk - make sure that you always lock your door and never leave anything on display through windows. stealing bags from the library, when bicycles, are being reported on a students have left their property at Over a quarter of all recorded frequent basis. The worst problems their desks. We have clearly become crimes are related to vehicles. Most are said to be occuring in the bed- too trusting. of these crimes are opportunist and rooms situated at the back of both Q we can avoid becoming victims. If, and R Blocks in the New Quad. Louise Emma Clarke Burglaries are becoming a common for example, you own a wheel lock, Residents of these blocks, which occurrence to student houses. This use it. Always take valuables from back onto the Swaythling Estate, If you’ve ever been a victim of a is partly due to the lack of security the car - wallet, mobile phone and have regularly seen local youths through Portswood at night. Claire crime, you’ll know both how measures installed in the properties stereo. If its not possible to remove hanging around the rear of the had been visiting friends only a few upsetting and infuriating the and partly because of our own lack your stereo, make a note of the seri- buildings. One resident came back minutes walk from home after a experience can be. Not only are of care and attention. If the security al number - it’s the best chance you after a night out to find her window night out in a local club. She began victims left emotionally, sometimes of your house needs improvement, have of getting it back. But, most wide open and pocessions missing the short walk home in the early Over the past quarter of a century, physically, scarred, but they are also pester your landlord until they do importantly, choose your parking from her room. The JCR Committee hours of the morning and it wasn’t left greatly inconvenienced. As stu- something about it - this may mean space very carefully - use well-lit, has been campaigning for tighter long before she realised that she had lynch mob dents we can often be blind to the David Lynch has consistently chal- fitting new locks. Crime Concern is open, busy places. security measures in the hall. walked straight into a crime scene. lenged our cinematic preconceptions. risks and the ways that we can pro- currently fitting free locks to win- Samantha would like to see, for Three local men, in their late twen- tect ourselves from becoming vic- dows and doors within a ‘regenera- If you have been a victim of crime example, security cameras installed ties, were in the middle of breaking From ‘eraserhead’ to ‘mullholland tims. Inevitably, this makes us easi- tion’ area of Southampton. This area and would like to talk to someone, and a swipe card entry system to into a car. One was leaning into a er targets and our homes, property includes the inner city and some of contact Victim Support on 02380 both the main doors of the hall and smashed car window and attempt- drive’, Tim houghton examines the and vehicles are being put at unnec- Portswood around the Lodge Road 234883. Insure your property with each main block door. However, the ing to pull out the stereo. Realising essary risk. area. For more information contact Endleigh for as little as £32.50 (up Committee has not yet been given that they had been disturbed, the career of one of our greatest contem- Colin Marjoram at Crime Concern to £2000 content insurance). You the money needed to make the three men stopped in their tracks. There have recently been a number on 01793 863500. There are, how- will need to insure your computer changes and the crime is continuing. There was a few seconds where porary film makers. of crimes reported at the university. ever, certain practical precautions and mobile phone separately, and Samantha would like all residents to they stood staring at her, alarmed Take, for example, the bags that that all of us can take: vacation cover also comes at a pre- become more vigilant about locking and unsure of how to react. Claire, were stolen from outside the sports doors and windows and feels it who felt extremely threatened, Blue Velvet resonates with a remark- mium. Visit their shop at Highfield In 1976, a little known Man, it was Cornfeld who forcefully essence of the movie - a chaotic, Twin Peaks and managed to create a hall during the exam period. We * Keep valuables away from win- important for no pocessions to be on turned and ran. She still doesn’t able intensity that seems to leap or go to www.endsleigh.co.uk for an director released his first insisted that it should be Lynch. sick and twisted examination of the film which succeeds in completely can’t fault students for taking their dows and make sure that you take open display. know what would have happened if from the screen, from the slow- online quotation. What eventually emerged was the realities of life. turning the audience on its head, eyes off their bags - they were all expensive items home during the she had waited longer or attempted feature length film, to the motion outside world of waving first and greatest of David Lynch’s Lost Highway, Lynch’s next film was just when they’ve got it all worked required to leave them outside due university holiday to confront them. She no longer bewilderment of critics firemen and motionless dog-walk- ‘straight’ movies. Heartbreakingly to take considerably longer than out. to exam regulations - but the case Claire Heathcote, 3rd Year Music feels safe walking alone and feels ers to the crawling insect life of a Samantha Perkins, President of and hardcore filmgoers depicting the fact-based story of either Wild at Heart or Fire Walk Featuring the hopeful young starlet demonstrates the escalation of * Don’t assume that one of your Student angry that locals are committing severed ear. When the film eventu- Connaught Hall JCR alike. the hideously deformed John With Me to get out of his imagina- Betty (Naomi Watts) and mysteri- crime at the university and how housmates is in - always check. If crimes that make students feel ally resolves, Lynch deliberately 28 years later and said film, Merrick, The Elephant Man repre- tion and into production. Arguably ous amnesiac Rita (Laura Harring) important it has become to take care the house is going to be empty, lock “ I don’t feel safe walking alone at threatened in their own roads. presents a cracked veneer of family “We are campaigning for tighter Eraserhead, still stands alone as a sented a huge jump in experience his most difficult narrative, Lost the film links an inexplicable train of of yourself and your property. There all windows and doors. Make it night.” happiness, the rays of darkness still security so that Connaught Hall is remarkable triumph of imagination and reputation for Lynch, present- Highway refuses to give any conces- events involving numerous charac- have also been rumours of people habit. evident. Blue Velvet is still considered more secure - but we need money and willpower over technical ability ing the opportunity to direct such sions to the viewer and on its ters, before diving into a Pandora’s Claire Heathcote lives in the popu- by many to be Lynch’s pinnacle, to do that.” and budget. Set in an disturbing heavyweights as John Gielgud, release succeeded in antagonizing Box that only Lynch’s psyche could * Leave a light on when you go out. lar housing district of Portswood. Anthony Hopkins and John Hurt. indeed it was the only Lynch film to critics.The film deals with jazz sax- devise. industrial futurescape and shot Connaught Hall, at Wessex Lane, Like many students who have expe- For Lynch, though, bigger things make it into Channel 4’s recent ‘Top ophonist Fred Madison (Bill What Mulholland Drive presents is a entirely in monochrome, Eraserhead * Always take out content insur- has been dogged by petty crime rienced crime at University, she were on the horizon. Following the 100 Movies’ poll. The series Twin Pullman) and car mechanic Pete quintessential Lynchian masterpe- stars little known actor Jack (some- ance. since the beginning of term. It now feels intimidated to walk alone success of The Dayton (Balthazar ice. Hallmarks appear and reappear times John) Nance as the quirky seems to be, according to their JCR Elephant Man, Getty) who are throughout the film that character- Henry Spencer, struggling to make Love him or hate him, David President Samantha Perkins, in a Lynch received a seemingly the same ize a stream of continuity flowing his way in the world with wife Mary worse situation than ever before. number of offers, person, although no through Lynch’s career. Just as the after the arrival of their premature Lynch has irrevocably Crimes, such as stolen laptops and and hideously deformed baby. but the one that explanation has ever severed ear in Blue Velvet symbolizes caught his eye and been offered by a gateway into Dorothy Vallens’ STOP Beyond this sparse plot synopsis changed the face of cinema imagination was “ Lynch. world, so the mysterious blue box interpretations differ, while Lynch steadfastly refuses to reveal his an adaptation of Frank Herbert’s In 1999 Lynch surprised in Mulholland Drive represents an own thinking behind the wild sci-fi classic Dune. With an almost Peaks marked David Lynch’s first everyone by returning to up-front entrance to a parallel Hollywood. Kafka-esque surrealisms littering unlimited budget and major studio steps into television in 1989 and film-making” in the form of the aptly Similarly many scenes in Lynch’s the film. backing it seemed that the Lynch was eventually accompanied in titled Straight Story. The story of 73 films feature the failure of electrici- That the brainchild and, for five vision would finally score the con- 1992 by the cinematic prequel Twin year old Alvin Straight who drove ty, such as the ailing lights in the years of his life, obsession of one version it deserved. In the event, Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. One of three hundred miles across America autopsy room of Twin Peaks, the David Lynch ever made it on to the however,the film was a catastrophe, Lynch’s bleakest visions, the film on a lawnmower to visit his dying buzzing of the fittings in Dorothy big screen at all was a miracle in both critically and commercially. received a hostile reception upon brother is made all the more Vallens’ apartment, the flickering of itself. Over the course of the five What was supposed to be personal release. But in it’s refusal to simply remarkable because it is absolutely the bulb in Fred Madison’s prison years shooting Lynch divorced his vision turned out to be a lifeless play on the plot and sub-plots of the true. Despite apparently lacking any cell and the constant electrical hum wife, started sleeping in the con- rock of cinema marketing. series, Fire Walk With Me released a traditional Lynch trademarks (the in Eraserhead. In Mulholland Drive Crime verted horse-stable studios and Lynch has likened the release of hidden past at the very heart of the film is even rated ‘U’) The Straight the single on-off bulb at the rodeo Dune to “dying a thousand deaths”, series. Story will remain a firm favourite announces the inexplicable cowboy managed to support himself with a Liz Oulton, 3rd Year taken from inside. Liz finds it diffi- several housemates were still living but the project that followed must During the second series of Twin with Lynch fans due to its beautiful character, an ostensibly omnipotent nightly paper round, eventually Psychology Student. cult to believe that the criminals within the property. An expensive have been more than enough rec- Peaks Lynch left to make the film cinematography and narrative - not turning the resulting footage into figure who recalls Robert Blake’s caused over a hundred pounds leather jacket and a reasonable ompense. Set in the small American Wild at Heart, a series of bizarre and to mention the amazingly display of Mystery Man in Lost Highway and an 89 minute montage of nightmar- “ It makes me so angry.” worth of damage, when nothing had amount of cash were taken during neighborhood of ‘Lumberton’, a violent encounters that preempted versatility from this most ish characters and inexplicable Mr Reindeer in Wild at Heart. even been taken from the vehicle. the burlary. Luckily all items were town of white picket fences and Quentin Tarantino’s own brand of chameleon-like of directors. events. Liz Oulton, who also lives in The further crimes occurred when insured, but the crimes have caused just-baked apple pie, Blue Velvet is brutal cinema. Essentially a road So to Lynch’s latest film, Mulholland On it’s very first showing Love him or hate him, David Lynch Portswood, has been the victim of her student house was burgled on a large amount of inconvenience. the ultimate amalgam of good and movie, Wild at Heart features Drive. Although originally intended Eraserhead caught the eye of one has irrevocably changed the face of three crimes in the last year. The two separate occassions. The first Liz is extremely angry that she has evil, confused and inseparably twist- numerous shocking scenes, one of as a return to the TV screen, when Stuart Cornfeld, a young executive cinema.And while Hollywood is still most recent, only occurring a few burglary took place when one of her been made a victim so many times ed together. ‘Are you a detective or a which led to a large number of the the idea was dropped by ABC, producer working for Mel Brooks’ struggling to come to terms with weeks ago, was when her car was housemates was sleeping upstairs, and is now made to feel intimidated pervert?’ asks girl-next-door Sandy audience leaving its first test Lynch refused to let it go and adapt- fledgling film company. Despite his maverick genius, the rest of us broken into overnight while it was totally oblivious to the crime. A in her home. She advises everyone (Laura Dern) of Kyle MacLachlan’s screening. A bemused Lynch was ed the idea to the big screen. In Brooks’ personal feeling that it can enjoy yet another turbulent parked outside her student house on mobile phone and playstation were to insure their vehicles and property inquisitive Jefferey. The answer is forced to cut the relevant torture doing so he returned to the should be Alan Parker who directed experience at the hands of a master. a busy road. The lock had been taken. The second crime occurred because “the risks just can’t be both. scene, but what remains is still the methodology of Lost Highway and a new script called The Elephant forced open, but nothing had been during the university holidays when ignored.” PAGE 20 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 34

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PAGE 36 Wessexscene.co.uk Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 37 Choke the Smoke!

Sarah Benett 13th March Quitting smoking now will, however, have a greater knock-on effect Nicotine is a killer. This is a fact than most people realise. The regu- we are all aware of. How could we lar smokers I know claim they Kate Doherty worked with other international Cancer Research UK has invested winning scientists, Sir Paul Nurse This month, you can help cure cannot be? The dangers of smoking are aren’t fit enough to play sport at a institutes to ensure the most up-to- £75 million in a bid to beat cancer. and Dr. Tim Hunt, at its disposal, it cer, cancer that effects one in three drummed into us from an early age. good level anymore, because they date discoveries. However, Imperial Its six primary objectives are; seems that Cancer Research UK is of us in our lifetime. Everyone can remember the grisly simply do not have the lung capaci- * One in three people of us will get Cancer Research no longer exists. literally on the brink of curing can- videos they were subjected to dur- ty to cope with strenuous exercise. cancer at some point in our life. Instead, something bigger, more 1. To cure cancer patients faster cer - the merger will mean a consol- Support FETISH FOR FASHION, a ing Biology lessons. The ones with Were they to ditch the fags, howev- * One in four of us will die from advanced and better equipped has 2. To cut the number of people get- idation of funds and combination of fashion show hosted by MC ALIS- the various elderly people wheezing er, their blood pressure and pulse cancer. taken its place. On February 4th ting cancer ‘formidable resources’ that, together TAIR; modelling fetish, urban and through unpleasant looking plastic would return to normal within twen- * Breast, lung, prostate and col- 2002, Imperial Cancer research and 3. To bring better treatments to can- with the hard work of scientists, swimwear by students, and an after tubes inserted into their necks. As I ty minutes. Within eight hours the orectal cancers are the most com- Cancer Research Campaign merged cer patients fundraisers and volunteers, will party with DJ TOUCH, MC WIN- recall, it was of those rare occasions oxygen levels in their blood would mon cancers. to form the Cancer Research UK, 4. To train more doctors, nurses and hopefully mean that the cure for STON, DEFIKEW, MC WREC, DJ when the class fell silent, with sev- also rectify themselves, and within * 1/3 of all cancer is caused by the largest volunteer-supported can- scientists for research. cancer is even closer. RYAN B AND MC ALISTAIR eral of the ‘hard’ kids looking par- two- twelve weeks, their circulation smoking & 1/3 is caused by poor cer research organization in the 5. To be the authoritative source of (Artful Dodger). ticularly sheepish. Aha, I thought, would improve, making running diet. world. With 300 scientists and an information on cancer. As Professor Andrew Miller that will teach you to light up at the and walking significantly easier. annual scientific spend of over £130 6. To maximize resources available remarked before the merger, ‘It is Tickets are £8 from usual outlets age of ten. Sure enough, though, as The late Imperial Cancer research million, predominantly from public for cancer research. timely that Cancer Research UK and all proceeds from them and a soon as home time bell rang, the For smokers who are only prepared Fund was one of the worlds leading donations, Cancer Research UK comes into being on International top raffle on the evening will go same group of kids would be hud- to quit for immediate health bene- cancer research organisations. It will lead the world in destroying The new chairman, Baroness World Cancer Day since the charity towards the new charity. dled by the corner shop, furtively fits, the incentive is there. Coupled employed over 1000 doctors and cancer once and for all, in co-opera- Helene Hayman, will head the will provide a new source of hope dragging on fags bought for them with the long-term reduction of the scientists who worked to find the tion with the National cancer Cancer Research UK’s council - a for the 25,000 people in Britain and Do your bit in the race against can- by unsuspecting Sixth Formers. risk of lung cancer by up to 50%, cure for cancer. It carried out a third Institute in the USA. volunteer body designed to run the the 5,000,000 people worldwide cer - support it here at University and many smokers should surely be of all UK cancer research and new charity. With two Nobel Prize who develop cancer each year.’ and indulge your fetish! When I was fourteen, I couldn’t ‘We are not immune to questioning why they are lighting understand how anyone could enjoy up at all. such a disgusting habit, knowing the health risks involved. Now, having The health risks associated with witnessed so many of my friends the addictive nature smoking can be reeled off at a become addicted to nicotine, even frightening pace. Smoking causes those who preached they never 82% of lung cancer deaths; smoking would, and having smoked occa- kills around six times more people sionally myself, the smelly appeal of nicotine simply than road accidents; 120,000 UK of cigarettes has become much smokers die from smoking related clearer. diseases each year, etcetera etcetera. because we have had These are the facts, but they are For whatever reason teenagers alienating and do not mean much as begin smoking for, whether it is a incomprehensible figures. Smoking naive, thirteen-year-old desire to is not thought of as being particular- look sophisticated, pier pressure, the privilege of being ly serious by many people because stress, or anxiety, they all appear to the health risks are so well under- predecessor Popstars, we at home heart-wrenching moment was when rapidly as Hearsay’s did following share the same belief that they could stood. Everyone has an idea of what were given a chance to have our ZoÎ went out two weeks ago and the popularity of Popstars. Maybe give up at any time. My smoker cigarettes contain, the effect they own say. From the fifty, each week Gareth sat sobbing and inconsolable this will be the case, but I have a friends claim they are “too lazy” educated about the have on the body, and what the the television viewers had the that she had to leave. This are real funny feeling that the craze sur- long-term risks are. As a result of chance to vote for their favourite people with real dreams-how could rounding the program will not die and that they “can’t be bothered” to nicotine being a drug so familiar to two so that ten finalists were left. It one not be totally gripped as to see down and our chosen pop idol will quit at the moment. After university, us, it also appears far less threaten- was at this moment when we all the outcome? remain a star for a long time, well at health risks involved’ began to get gripped by the show. least until Pop Idol 2! however, they argue that giving up ing than the unknown quality of won’t be a problem, because they illegal drugs. Cigarettes are manu- The final contestants had to get up By the final week the winner was there on that stage each week, on excitingly unsure. We were bom- will be no longer part of such a of us naive enough to believe we factured to specific requirements Katherine Butler live TV, sing their hearts out, be barded with Pop Idol fever as Will stressful, image-conscious environ- could stop at any time? and they are widely available. The scrutinised by Simon and his posse and Gareth journeyed around the ment. Despite this, what they seem legality of cigarettes lulls us into a of judges and then wait to see which country with their “election cam- to forget is that nicotine has been Going back to the unpleasant false sense of security, as we forget A date not to be forgotten: Saturday of them would be voted out by the paign buses” and by this stage proven beyond doubt to be an Biology videos, then, I think part of that they actually have more than 9th February. It was the day that viewers at home. It was a roller everyone had their own opinion on addictive drug. the problem is the focus that is often twenty ways of killing us. finally saw the fate of pop-idol coaster ride of emotions for all of who would win. It was even good to placed on the long-term effects of hopefuls, William Young and them: hope and despair, laughter see that the pair remained firm According to a recent study carried smoking. When we are young and So rather than being intimidated by Gareth Gates decided. The climax and tears, friends and competition. friends throughout. From the 15 out by researchers at the University healthy, we accept that this will the facts, isn’t it about time we of the show proved to be immiscible And we were with them all the way. million, over 8 million called up to of Massachusetts, people can eventually deteriorate into the thought about the health benefits TV that captured the nation’s hearts cast a vote for their idol and by the become addicted to nicotine in just frailty and disease of old age. that could be enjoyed by quitting and pulled in an amazing 15 million Teenage girls fell in love with poor time Ant and Dec came on to a few days and after only a handful Rather than being the frightening smoking? National No-Smoking viewers. little Gareth who fought so bravely announce the results, I like many of cigarettes. They also made the prospect that it is for our parents, we day is fast approaching on March with his stutter; we were stunned by others was transfixed to my TV. worrying discovery that teenagers are too far removed from infirmity 13th, so if you were to quit now, by It was the end of a series of shows the talent of young ZoÎ, hopeful Rik in particular showed symptoms of to care. When I used to remind my then you’d be enjoying the ability to charting the “manufacturing” Waller (the slightly over weight The surprise winner was Will-in addiction even as occasional smok- friends that every cigarette they breathe more easily, improved taste process that allows new stars to one..!) divided judges and viewers fact I think he was more surprised ers who didn’t light up every day. smoked would take five minutes off and smell, and increased energy lev- emerge. Starting with 10,000 opinions alike and we marvelled at than anyone! In the end people it their life, the standard response was, els. wannabes, judges Simon Cowell the determination of Darius who seems could not resist his soulful In light of this, can we really afford “yeah, but when I’m eighty I won’t (the high-trouser guy), Pete came in at the last minute to replace mix of jazz, mo-town and funk that to be so lackadaisical about smok- care”. We will, of course, care when Nicotine may be an addictive drug, Waterman (the guy behind Kylie), Rik (he ended up finishing in the made him really stand out from the ing? We are not immune to the the abuse of our bodies catches up but surely the lure of a renewed Nicky Chapman (the pretty, smiling last three). We had the time to real- other competition. addictive nature of nicotine simply with us, but at the moment, the burst of health and fitness in prepa- one) and Dr Neil Fox (Mr Showbiz ly get to know each of the contest- because we have had the privilege incentive to prepare for the future is ration for the summer is a more himself) whittled the numbers down ants and losing each one was like There is always the worry that of being educated about the health not immediate enough to sacrifice appealing option? to a mere 50. Then this is where the losing a good friend. One really Will’s career will rise and fall as risks involved, so why are so many enjoyable social habits now. fun began. Unlike the program’s 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 36

PAGE 36 Wessexscene.co.uk Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 37 Choke the Smoke!

Sarah Benett 13th March Quitting smoking now will, however, have a greater knock-on effect Nicotine is a killer. This is a fact than most people realise. The regu- we are all aware of. How could we lar smokers I know claim they Kate Doherty worked with other international Cancer Research UK has invested winning scientists, Sir Paul Nurse This month, you can help cure cannot be? The dangers of smoking are aren’t fit enough to play sport at a institutes to ensure the most up-to- £75 million in a bid to beat cancer. and Dr. Tim Hunt, at its disposal, it cer, cancer that effects one in three drummed into us from an early age. good level anymore, because they date discoveries. However, Imperial Its six primary objectives are; seems that Cancer Research UK is of us in our lifetime. Everyone can remember the grisly simply do not have the lung capaci- * One in three people of us will get Cancer Research no longer exists. literally on the brink of curing can- videos they were subjected to dur- ty to cope with strenuous exercise. cancer at some point in our life. Instead, something bigger, more 1. To cure cancer patients faster cer - the merger will mean a consol- Support FETISH FOR FASHION, a ing Biology lessons. The ones with Were they to ditch the fags, howev- * One in four of us will die from advanced and better equipped has 2. To cut the number of people get- idation of funds and combination of fashion show hosted by MC ALIS- the various elderly people wheezing er, their blood pressure and pulse cancer. taken its place. On February 4th ting cancer ‘formidable resources’ that, together TAIR; modelling fetish, urban and through unpleasant looking plastic would return to normal within twen- * Breast, lung, prostate and col- 2002, Imperial Cancer research and 3. To bring better treatments to can- with the hard work of scientists, swimwear by students, and an after tubes inserted into their necks. As I ty minutes. Within eight hours the orectal cancers are the most com- Cancer Research Campaign merged cer patients fundraisers and volunteers, will party with DJ TOUCH, MC WIN- recall, it was of those rare occasions oxygen levels in their blood would mon cancers. to form the Cancer Research UK, 4. To train more doctors, nurses and hopefully mean that the cure for STON, DEFIKEW, MC WREC, DJ when the class fell silent, with sev- also rectify themselves, and within * 1/3 of all cancer is caused by the largest volunteer-supported can- scientists for research. cancer is even closer. RYAN B AND MC ALISTAIR eral of the ‘hard’ kids looking par- two- twelve weeks, their circulation smoking & 1/3 is caused by poor cer research organization in the 5. To be the authoritative source of (Artful Dodger). ticularly sheepish. Aha, I thought, would improve, making running diet. world. With 300 scientists and an information on cancer. As Professor Andrew Miller that will teach you to light up at the and walking significantly easier. annual scientific spend of over £130 6. To maximize resources available remarked before the merger, ‘It is Tickets are £8 from usual outlets age of ten. Sure enough, though, as The late Imperial Cancer research million, predominantly from public for cancer research. timely that Cancer Research UK and all proceeds from them and a soon as home time bell rang, the For smokers who are only prepared Fund was one of the worlds leading donations, Cancer Research UK comes into being on International top raffle on the evening will go same group of kids would be hud- to quit for immediate health bene- cancer research organisations. It will lead the world in destroying The new chairman, Baroness World Cancer Day since the charity towards the new charity. dled by the corner shop, furtively fits, the incentive is there. Coupled employed over 1000 doctors and cancer once and for all, in co-opera- Helene Hayman, will head the will provide a new source of hope dragging on fags bought for them with the long-term reduction of the scientists who worked to find the tion with the National cancer Cancer Research UK’s council - a for the 25,000 people in Britain and Do your bit in the race against can- by unsuspecting Sixth Formers. risk of lung cancer by up to 50%, cure for cancer. It carried out a third Institute in the USA. volunteer body designed to run the the 5,000,000 people worldwide cer - support it here at University and many smokers should surely be of all UK cancer research and new charity. With two Nobel Prize who develop cancer each year.’ and indulge your fetish! When I was fourteen, I couldn’t ‘We are not immune to questioning why they are lighting understand how anyone could enjoy up at all. such a disgusting habit, knowing the health risks involved. Now, having The health risks associated with witnessed so many of my friends the addictive nature smoking can be reeled off at a become addicted to nicotine, even frightening pace. Smoking causes those who preached they never 82% of lung cancer deaths; smoking would, and having smoked occa- kills around six times more people sionally myself, the smelly appeal of nicotine simply than road accidents; 120,000 UK of cigarettes has become much smokers die from smoking related clearer. diseases each year, etcetera etcetera. because we have had These are the facts, but they are For whatever reason teenagers alienating and do not mean much as begin smoking for, whether it is a incomprehensible figures. Smoking naive, thirteen-year-old desire to is not thought of as being particular- look sophisticated, pier pressure, the privilege of being ly serious by many people because predecessor Popstars, we at home heart-wrenching moment was when rapidly as Hearsay’s did following stress, or anxiety, they all appear to the health risks are so well under- were given a chance to have our ZoÎ went out two weeks ago and the popularity of Popstars. Maybe share the same belief that they could stood. Everyone has an idea of what own say. From the fifty, each week Gareth sat sobbing and inconsolable this will be the case, but I have a give up at any time. My smoker cigarettes contain, the effect they the television viewers had the that she had to leave. This are real funny feeling that the craze sur- friends claim they are “too lazy” educated about the have on the body, and what the chance to vote for their favourite people with real dreams-how could rounding the program will not die long-term risks are. As a result of two so that ten finalists were left. It one not be totally gripped as to see down and our chosen pop idol will and that they “can’t be bothered” to nicotine being a drug so familiar to was at this moment when we all the outcome? remain a star for a long time, well at quit at the moment. After university, us, it also appears far less threaten- health risks involved’ began to get gripped by the show. least until Pop Idol 2! however, they argue that giving up ing than the unknown quality of The final contestants had to get up By the final week the winner was won’t be a problem, because they illegal drugs. Cigarettes are manu- there on that stage each week, on excitingly unsure. We were bom- will be no longer part of such a of us naive enough to believe we factured to specific requirements Katherine Butler live TV, sing their hearts out, be barded with Pop Idol fever as Will stressful, image-conscious environ- could stop at any time? and they are widely available. The scrutinised by Simon and his posse and Gareth journeyed around the ment. Despite this, what they seem legality of cigarettes lulls us into a of judges and then wait to see which country with their “election cam- to forget is that nicotine has been Going back to the unpleasant false sense of security, as we forget A date not to be forgotten: Saturday of them would be voted out by the paign buses” and by this stage proven beyond doubt to be an Biology videos, then, I think part of that they actually have more than 9th February. It was the day that viewers at home. It was a roller everyone had their own opinion on addictive drug. the problem is the focus that is often twenty ways of killing us. finally saw the fate of pop-idol coaster ride of emotions for all of who would win. It was even good to placed on the long-term effects of hopefuls, William Young and them: hope and despair, laughter see that the pair remained firm According to a recent study carried smoking. When we are young and So rather than being intimidated by Gareth Gates decided. The climax and tears, friends and competition. friends throughout. From the 15 out by researchers at the University healthy, we accept that this will the facts, isn’t it about time we of the show proved to be immiscible And we were with them all the way. million, over 8 million called up to of Massachusetts, people can eventually deteriorate into the thought about the health benefits TV that captured the nation’s hearts cast a vote for their idol and by the become addicted to nicotine in just frailty and disease of old age. that could be enjoyed by quitting and pulled in an amazing 15 million Teenage girls fell in love with poor time Ant and Dec came on to a few days and after only a handful Rather than being the frightening smoking? National No-Smoking viewers. little Gareth who fought so bravely announce the results, I like many of cigarettes. They also made the prospect that it is for our parents, we day is fast approaching on March with his stutter; we were stunned by others was transfixed to my TV. worrying discovery that teenagers are too far removed from infirmity 13th, so if you were to quit now, by It was the end of a series of shows the talent of young ZoÎ, hopeful Rik in particular showed symptoms of to care. When I used to remind my then you’d be enjoying the ability to charting the “manufacturing” Waller (the slightly over weight The surprise winner was Will-in addiction even as occasional smok- friends that every cigarette they breathe more easily, improved taste process that allows new stars to one..!) divided judges and viewers fact I think he was more surprised ers who didn’t light up every day. smoked would take five minutes off and smell, and increased energy lev- emerge. Starting with 10,000 opinions alike and we marvelled at than anyone! In the end people it their life, the standard response was, els. wannabes, judges Simon Cowell the determination of Darius who seems could not resist his soulful In light of this, can we really afford “yeah, but when I’m eighty I won’t (the high-trouser guy), Pete came in at the last minute to replace mix of jazz, mo-town and funk that to be so lackadaisical about smok- care”. We will, of course, care when Nicotine may be an addictive drug, Waterman (the guy behind Kylie), Rik (he ended up finishing in the made him really stand out from the ing? We are not immune to the the abuse of our bodies catches up but surely the lure of a renewed Nicky Chapman (the pretty, smiling last three). We had the time to real- other competition. addictive nature of nicotine simply with us, but at the moment, the burst of health and fitness in prepa- one) and Dr Neil Fox (Mr Showbiz ly get to know each of the contest- because we have had the privilege incentive to prepare for the future is ration for the summer is a more himself) whittled the numbers down ants and losing each one was like There is always the worry that of being educated about the health not immediate enough to sacrifice appealing option? to a mere 50. Then this is where the losing a good friend. One really Will’s career will rise and fall as risks involved, so why are so many enjoyable social habits now. fun began. Unlike the program’s 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 38

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Taliban, had always been the ruler of Afghanistan! On the other hand ‘Any political ‘I won’t though, it’s equally true that the The Golden Gate after September 11th? American’s never wanted just Bin Laden; it would do no good if they party would make the ignored thousands of psychos, Julian Gavaghan through immigration and symbols had greatly Sunday was Superbowl Sunday. whose only dream for their life is be foolish to collected my luggage. increased in response to The St. Louis Rams were, between not to live the best of it, but rather to September 11th. The commercials and special events, I rode a cab downtown to presence of stars and playing New England Patriots. The mistake destroy it along with the lives of ignore us’. February 1st 2002, where were my youth hostel. It was a stripes had increased Superbowl is a celebration of corpo- others. you? I touched down at San beautifully clear day, just enormously. In each shop rate America. But thanks to corpo- Dear Editor, Francisco International Airport at warm enough not to need a windows there was at rate America I was able to enjoy AZ Eyre says that he is a British 2pm! Being a student, my reasons coat. I checked into the of trying least a poster showing a cheap Budweiser and free food. Muslim and has the right to criticise I was pleased to see that one of edi- for going were purely impulsive and hostel, had two-hours sleep U.S. flag incorporated There still lurked pervasive patriot- his government. Perhaps he should tors intends to have a political slot due to the opportunity of a cheap and was ready to go into into a shopping bag with ism. Paul McCartney sang spare a minute to think of which of in the paper. Many consider politics flight! I have visited San Francisco town. Fortunately I the slogan, ‘America: ‘Freedom’ and commercials often to argue these so obvious rights did the as dull. However, the past few twice before, the last time before encountered a German guy, Open For Business’, quoted the words of famous Afghan’s enjoy. I reckon that if he weeks have shown how important it September 11th in June 2001. I love Christian, who immediate- flanked by ‘God Bless American patriots. One commercial had instead written in Afghanistan is. San Francisco, but I was expecting a ly invited me out for a beer. America’, ‘United We even accused anyone who had used reasonably something against the Taliban he’d different, less liberal atmosphere, We toured a few bars Stand’ or similar. drugs of being a terrorist, which been imprisoned, and so would the Last week a man was murdered in one more concerned with Bush’s before finally settling on a upset many of the bar’s patrons who editor of the Wessex Scene- and Portswood Park. This week many “monumental struggle of good ver- bar called Julip (839 That evening in Julip I felt disgusted by such an exploita- with perhaps the Chancellor of the cars have been broken into. Student sus evil”. Surprisingly little had Geary), which became my sought Amy’s opinion tion of that issue. University as well. Not to mention Safety should be a top priority. In changed and San Francisco remains home for the next two about what I’d seen. She the treatment of Buddhists, conjunction with our Police Liaison on the very cusp of liberal America. nights. Here I made friends saw it as an over- On Monday afternoon I flew back Christians, or even non-fanatic Officer we do much as a university. San Francisco is a fun and funky with two locals, Amy and embracement of patriotic to England and returned to fanatics’ Muslims. But this is probably what However, we need to do more. The town and its people in my view con- Brian. I say locals, but in values. “Patriotism is Southampton. In the aftermath of AZ Eyre meant by “political mani- street lighting in my road, Gordon tinue to be amongst the most easy- fact they were both out-of- fine”, she told me, “but so September 11th San Francisco has festation of Islam”. I for one have Avenue, is appalling and I don’t feel Dear Editor, going and individual in the world. towners originally. Finding long as it is not used to remained true to itself: Fun and no problem with any individual’s safe alone at night. Furthermore, a native San Franciscan is blanket real problems individualistic. The fixation with The eleven-hour flight went largely religion, and one of my best friends other Student Unions’ give away not easy, especially down- which politicians are combating terrorism has not encap- I won’t make the mistake of trying without hitch thanks to my old is Muslim. But “political manifesta- free rape alarms at the start of the town, as more than half of reluctant to deal with”. sulated the city and its people, keep- to argue reasonably with fanatics, friend Amantes del Circulo Polar, a tion” of everything, not just Islam, year. Why can’t that be done here? the city’s population The barman gave me his ing in mind their liberal traditions. Please send all but for the sake of the readers of painfully slow Spanish movie, has to respect certain civil rights... As individuals we must also be bet- moved there from else- theory that the flags were America has changed, but the San letters to: [email protected] Wessex Scene a few things need to ter at reporting crimes. enabling me to sleep in-flight. be said. First of all, it is ridiculous where. That night I some- just part of San Franciscan spirit has not. I still love AZ Eyre also says that he’s not Despite being 10pm in England I the argument that the attack on how managed to stay out Francisco’s ever-present San Francisco and I recommend it grateful for the attack on At the same time the Echo reported was ready to start my day. Well, just On Saturday I took the opportunity Afghanistan was pre-planned. until dawn, having gone to a hard sell and “these days tourists to everyone, particularly now as stu- Afghanistan. Unfortunately it’s not that the Nuffield theatre may close as soon as I had reacquainted to go sightseeing. I rode a cable car ‘I can’t Apparently the terrorist attacks Moroccan theme party and finishing want more flags”. This seemed per- dent flights are cheaper than ever up to him, or to me, or any of us, but due to Arts Council funding cuts. myself with the finest toilet facili- and wondered through China Town. were erm, a coincidence? Purposely the night eating pancakes. fectly rational. Julip was starting to and final-year stress mounts. up to the people of Afghanistan. This would be a huge loss to the ties I have ever used, passed I noticed the number of patriotic provoked by the CIA maybe? become like my own little Cheers. believe And the celebrations in Kabul and University. The Nuffield Theatre & elsewhere given a clear and beyond the Mayflower put on the best pro- ‘Sexy The US wanted to subvert the doubt answer to all fanatics, reli- ductions in town. We need to learn Taliban anyway? But for five years Business gious and leftish alike; in fact I do how to affectively lobby govern- they didn’t even bothered to give not need to say anything else! ment at a local and national level. the opposition any support! They Perhaps the Taliban didn’t enjoy an didn’t even do anything for the pre- Services ample majority in the Afghan par- There are thousands of students in Vicar in vious attacks of Bin Laden! Clinton, liament after all... Southampton. Any political party similarly to all “non right wing” would be foolish to ignore us. Yet aren’t leaders, was good only for the easy Finally, as a western citizen I feel they do! They try to stop us using things (speeches), and fulfilled his ashamed that we helped the cars. They are trying to close the impotence by bullying small nations giving out Afghans out of the Taliban only Nuffield and they let student roads Soton’ like the Somalian’s or the crumble. We must not let them. We when we were forced to- in the Yugoslavians. And it was probably same way I feel ashamed for doing have a right to a fair deal. I welcome because of this attitude that Bin business with China, which has ille- the new political slot and I hope it refunds’ Laden expected that he’d eventually gally occupied Tibet not to mention will spark interest in local politics. Dear Editor, Dear Editor, get away with in again. Fortunately the oppression of its own people. on the helm wasn’t Clinton any- Unfortunately we’re very selfish I wanted to thank the Wessex Scene I read in the Southern Daily Echo more... And talking about and shortsighted.... Yours sincerely for its campaign for Better Buses. that the University Vicar was Yugoslavia was it not the US that Unilink is appalling, expensive and declared the best date in Britain! supported the murderers of KLA Nick Misoulis Caroline Martell needs to be improved. against the Yugoslavian govern- The Rev David Simpson is said to ment? Where’s the “war against I can’t believe Business Services ‘be the perfect gentleman’ I think Islam” then? The Albanians are aren’t giving out refunds. Clearly, that it was a fantastic idea for the Muslims! they have used the sabbatical Vicar to take part in the Daily changeover to mask their deceit. It Mirror’s Magazine feature. It shows Does it finally need to be reminded seems to me that the university a willingness of the Church of that Bush was almost pleading the should shut them down. They just England to publicise itself in a more Taliban, even after the start of the look after themselves - Not the uni- modern light. war, “give us Bin Laden and it’s versity or us students. going to be alright”? But it’s laugh- I would really like to see the Vicar able to say that the Taliban were It is terrible. They have a huge continue his modern approach and ever serious about handling Bin monopoly. They overcharge us. pose for the Wessex Scene page Laden; they didn’t even arrest him And, they still make a loss. three?! It could get the numbers up for questioning- without handling at the sunday service! him anywhere. I think questioning We must all campaign to reform the someone does not require “proofs”, service they provide! Thank you for Also i think there should be a poll in does it? bringing the situation to those of us the Union for the ‘best date’ sabbat- not in halls. ical position- i know who i would vote for! In fact the Taliban had as much Yours truly power to arrest Bin Laden, as the Yours “Tribunal for war crimes” has to Michelle Mackey Nigel indict Clinton; Bin Laden, not the 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 38

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PAGE 40 Wessexscene.co.uk Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 41 Orchestra to Play Big Work in Big Building Chris Bishop will be around 250 performers for very much looking forward to con- So picture this……… this work, promising to make it a ducting one of his all time favourite An energy-filled orchestra prepar- fantastic spectacle and rewarding symphonies. He has wanted to con- ing tirelessly for the biggest concert achievement for SUSO. The duct Mahler’s Second Symphony they have ever played in. Wiping Orchestra President Jane Bevan said since he began studying. ‘Such the sweat from their brows as they ‘It will be a very emotional moment musical intensity is rarely mark their music and practice their achieved,’ he says, ‘and this event Another notes, striving to enhance the emo- promises to be a fantastic concert tions they are feeling as they move experience for performers and audi- Independent Travel Series deeper into a paradise of under- ence alike’. Video standing. They play as sweetly as a mashed up Crunchie bar coated in Opening this concert will be thick Golden Syrup and then with Rimsky-Korsakov’s triumph of orchestration, the appropriately Giveaway! It’s Clubs and Socs a go-go time on this page! Next issue I’ll be such menace as only Dennis can muster to achieve their goal. On the named Russian Easter Festival again now that everyone is back in looking at the one-off events and Overture. Also included is the the swing of things and exams are balls that we all like to go to now evening of March 22nd 2002 the awesome musical power of the world premiere of a new work by over. So, keep me posted on any big and again. Until then, take care of Evan Jolly written specially for this events that you’ve got lined up and yourselves ... and each other. University Symphony Orchestra will be unleashed at the concert as part of the University they’ll be sure to find some space Jubilee celebrations. Evan graduat- Articles can be emailed to fjc199 Southampton Guildhall to prove once and for all ‘who’s the ed from Southampton last year and daddy?’…… currently holds one of only a few Come and Meet Those places studying composition at the The answer, of course, is Gustav National Film and Television Dancing Feet Mahler. Despite the fact that he has School. This will be the second poor eyesight (and is dead) he still world premiere for SUSO in six Anna Mansell the ensemble. The show contains rules the roost as far as huge, Robin Browning, SUSO conduc- months as they previously per- many big numbers – including formed Fung Lam’s …in transit… This March sees the University’s demanding and intriguing music tor, is completely oblivious to the Lullaby of Broadway, We’re in the Showstoppers face their greatest goes. Mixing his massive brass sec- huge organ bearing down on him Money and the title song, of course, SUSO will be performing concerts challenge yet, when they put on the tion with tender and fierce strings when all these musicians manage to 42nd Street. All these are accompa- in Portsmouth on 25th and at Turner World Class Maps for the Indpependent Traveller renowned tap dance extravaganza - and both menacing and tranquil come together on one stage’. parks, reserves, gardens Five lucky winners can get their nied by huge, outstanding dance Sims on 26th May which will With unique features such as travel Independent Travel Series are: 42nd Street. Having attempted and woodwind, Mahler creates some- * Local activity centres – trekking, hands on sets of travel guides of routines choreographed by Clare include An Orkney Wedding and connection guides and distance succeeded with a small amount of thing extremely special as the basis The conductor Gilbert Kaplan, who skiing, fishing, diving their very own choice by simply Huxter and Rhona McGregor, with Sunrise. It may not sound like a charts, these are the ultimate world- Argentina and Chile – Australia – tap in previous shows, this year the of his Second Symphony recorded the piece with the London * Essential travel connections guide answering: Get your hands on vocals having been taught by crowd puller until I tell you…… class maps for the independent trav- Brazil – Canada – China society is going for it, Broadway ‘Resurrection’. Also adding both Symphony Orchestra said of it ‘Few and distance chart Darren Lord, Musical Director. IT’S GOT BAGPIPES IN IT!!!! eller. They are up-to-date and accu- Indian Subcontinent – Indonesia – style! Soprano and Mezzo-Soprano pieces of music can affect the listen- * Detailed orientation maps of Which gigantic system of rivers An American For more details about forthcoming rate, and are hugely practical for Japan – Kenya and Tanzania soloists and a chorus, organ, two er as this does’. SUSO conductor major cities and forests encomapasses half of Showstoppers return this year to the SUSO concerts, visit their website planning a journey, and when Mexico and Guatemala – New Werewolf in 42nd Street is the story of Julian harps and extra percussion there Robin Browning who has been with * Comprehensive index to towns, Brazil? Nuffield Theatre,following two www.suso.org.uk you’re on the road. Zealand – Peru, Bolivia and Marsh (played by Dominic the orchestra for several years is villages and places of interest years at Boldrewood. Directors Ecuador London! Stichbury), Broadway’s most bikes. If you hear a bell tinkle run The trip was really good and from * Slim easy-to-use format and visu- Email answers to Kate John and Rob Bristow are These guides contain: Singapore and Malaysia – South The air is still and silent as you famous director and his bid to for your life! what we can remember, involved a ally appealing. [email protected] thrilled to have such a high energy Amster- * Key tourist sites – ancient ruins, Africa – Thailand –The Caribbean embark on your short journey. You revive Broadway in the aftermath of This trip was run by RAG, the soci- quick talk and tour of brewery and 2 production and skilful cast to take historic buildings, cultural centres USA – USA East – USA West – shudder as you realise there is a full the Wall Street Crash. We see his ety which raises money for charity. hours of ‘tasting’ (more like down- The maps available in the Collins into the professional theatre. “We * Areas of natural beauty – national Venezuela, Colombia and Ecuador moon overhead. They told you to show, “Pretty Lady”, from its audi- Throughout the year we run various ing), of their produce. Our most are having so much fun and are damned! stick to the road, but this route is tions through to opening night in events; other trips abroad, raids, recent event was on the 13th of amazed at what everyone has Kirsty MacMillan shorter. You hear something inde- Philadelphia. It is here that we see RAGweek. Our nominated chari- February in the union bar where we Win tickets for the achieved this far, the show is going Friday 15th February, fifty students scribable - a shriek or a howl? You Dorothy Brock (Michelle ties this year are: National drank a keg of guest ale – ‘old don’. to be amazing. The cast are very boarded a coach and 10 hours later quicken your pace and your breath- Wormleighton), leading lady and a Meningitis Trust,Rainbow project, The evening went off well and the Nuffield Theatre talented and have worked extremely they were in Amsterdam. The next ing gets heavier. Your eyes dart major star, knocked over by the tal- Cruse Bereavement, Kidsline, St beer was very good and we gained hard.” day was spent sampling what the quickly from left to right as your ented chorus line debutante Peggy Denys Community Help Project. If many new members – we hope to city had to offer from culture to heart pounds louder and louder. All Sawyer (Lucy Borton). Things take you would like to take part in RAG see you all at the next event. The spectacular production, full of ‘coffeeshops’ to the red light dis- of a sudden you see it in the distance a turn for the worse and the show is no matter how small a commitment, all the glitz and glamour of a true trict. Some of the group visited the - but what could it be? cancelled as there is no-one to then you should email us at There are future events planned and Broadway show, will be at the Anne Frank museum (extremely sad replace such an important star as [email protected]. from the success of the brewery trip Nuffield Theatre from Wednesday and depressing), the Van Gogh The 80’s favourite blood-curdling Brock. Fortunately ‘Anytime we have had many calls for it to be 13 until Saturday 16 March at Museum (with all his paintings), the masterpiece, “An American Annie’ (Sheridan Powell), another repeated, and the current state of 7.30pm, with a 2.30pm matinee on flower market, the palace, and of Werewolf In London” is back to chorus girl, has an idea to save the BARSOC play is possibly visiting the Saturday. Ticket are available now course the shops (of which there reduce you to a quivering wreck day – the show must, and does, go Edward Hoskin Ringwood Brewery, located some- from the Nuffield Theatre box was plenty). The rest delighted in from 4th March 2002. After 21 on! Other lead characters include where in the New Forest. There is office, priced for students at £4 for the fact that in certain ‘cof- Barsoc or Brasoc (Bitter and Real years as an “undead”, the werewolf Maggie Jones and Bert - Pretty also the possibility of arranging a Wednesday and Saturday matinee, feeshops’, marijuana was legally Ale Society) was set up by a few has awakened to run rampage Lady’s authors (Clare Huxter and beer festival probably sometime in £5 for Thursday and £6 for Friday sold and smoked, (walking past friends in October 2001. We through the Yorkshire Moors, Tim Elliott), Andy Lee – its chore- May. In between then and now, we and Saturda evenings. these places was enough for some to thought it would be a good idea to Tottenham Court Road and Soho- ographer (Chris O’Kelly) and Abner are busy planning our next event of be ‘affected’). Even better the form a society that meant we could so keep off the moors, stick to the Dillon (Jon Yu) who has put up the which the details shall be revealed If there is only one show you go to booze was really cheap and in plen- get drunk and still be able to write road and whatever you do, beware cash for the production. about what a valuable member of shortly. As a last note we would like this year, make this your choice – tiful supply. The red light district to thank all of our loyal members the moon - time is running out! come on along and listen to the was an eye opener, picture the the university we have been on our However, the real stars of the show for their support and the Union bar Lullaby of Broadway/ scene: rows of windows surrounded CV`s. Actually that thought never Written and directed by the leg- are the 40 pairs of dancing feet in for bringing in a guest ale for us on Showstoppers!!! by red light, with skimpily dressed crossed our minds, and the societies endary John Landis (Blues aim is to introduce people to decent the 13th of February. females in ‘provocative’ poses (at From 7th February - 2nd March, gerous... This fast moving, funny Brothers, Animal House, Trading beer through pub crawls and brew- least for males, females would just you can catch NIGHT SWIMMING play takes low-level enterprise off Places, Michael Jackson’s Thriller) ery trips. We have so far arranged think how painful these poses are!) by local writer Mark Castle. the street corner and puts it firmly in 1981, he established a whole new pub-crawls around Highfield and inviting you out the back with them. centre stage. genre of horror/comedy causing In between these windows, were sex Portswood going to pubs such as the Dippy’s about to become a father nervous laughter in which each Crown Inn and The New Inn, both and porn ‘supermarkets’, promising and he needs cash, fast. Luckily, The show commences at 7:30pm chuckle catches in your throat. of which have good selections of to sell you everything you would Nick has a scam lined up; but and tickets must be booked in beer. Other pub-crawls included one ever need for anysort of sex life Dippy’s girlfriend Jane is not advance by contacting the Box TO WIN FREE COPIES, JUST around the pubs in town, such as (Anne Summers has nothing on impressed. And Nick’s plan is dan- Office on 023 8067 1771 ANSWER: them!). Amsterdam is situated over The Red Lion, which is the oldest a lot of canals, so getting lost is real- pub in Southampton. We organised We have four pairs of tickets to give away to the readers who can answer Where is the annul film festival ly easy, they all look the same. a sell out brewery trip to Gales this question: held in France? Furthermore getting run over by one Brewery, (brewers of famous ales Which Australian Actress starred in Moulin Rouge and is hotly tipped such as H.S.B and Brown Sheep) of many trams is fairly likely, either Is this YOU?? If so, collect £20 from VP Comms on for an oscar? Email answers to them or one of the thousands of situated near Portsmouth. [email protected] Level 2, Students Union Email competition entries to [email protected] 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 40

PAGE 42 Wessexscene.co.uk Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 43 the most advanced student union website in the country susuweb online Latest News.

Find out about the New Cinema.

Who is playing th new nightclub.

Photos of you at union events.

Victories within the the union.

See what events are going on.

Communicate with other students.

Leave messages for other students. COMING SOON... 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 42

PAGE 42 Wessexscene.co.uk Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 43 the most advanced student union website in the country susuweb online Latest News.

Find out about the New Cinema.

Who is playing th new nightclub.

Photos of you at union events.

Victories within the the union.

See what events are going on.

Communicate with other students.

Leave messages for other students. COMING SOON... 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 44

PAGE 44 Wessexscene.co.uk Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 45 KICKIN’ SOUTHAMPTON TEAM KICK SOME BOURNEMOUTH BUTT The Southampton University standards due to a low turnout for Considerably more relaxed after his Kickboxing Club managed to pull the women’s section. This meant initial win, Greg displayed some off a number of surprise victories that the 4th Grade (green belt) fight- clever fighting from then on, using BLOODY MUDDY in a recent all-styles tournament er would be up against black-belt his extensive reach and quick kicks, held in Bournemouth. women with years of experience he was able to keep the subsequent Weather fails to defeat the Southampton Cross Country team in BUSA Championships and a reputation to uphold. Showing fights on his terms, winning com- The Uni sent a team made up of 4 some nerves in the first round, fortably in the second and third It’s two o’clock in the morning on Wright just off the leading pack. As members ranging from Beginner to Bryony managed to hold on to a rounds. In the semi-finals he faced a cold Friday morning, most peo- usual it was a Loughborough pro- Intermediate fighters. narrow two-point lead to win after arguably the competitions’ best ple would be in bed or crawling cession with them taking the first 3 11/2 minutes of tough competition. competitor, Danny Senior, in a very back from a night out, but not the and the team but again the Even though the outing represented She then showed her considerable close-run contest, emerging victori- Uni Cross Country team. Southampton Men did the universi- Tim Woodacre’s first competitive experience with a commanding dis- ous with a slim points margin, and ty proud having two in the top ten contest, he performed extremely play of kung-fu techniques and into the final. The final was against It’s time for us to get up and get to with Gareth Klepacz 7th, and Jon well, winning his debut fight with kickboxing combinations, belying an accomplished Tae-Kwon-Do the union to travel to Belfast for the Brown 10th. Closely behind was- consummate ease, only to go out in her slim build and 5’3” stature, pro- fighter who had demonstrated his BUSA Cross Country 2002. As myself (Nigel Wright) in 13th, with the second round against a more gressing to the final fight. With proficient kicking ability in the pre- usual Busa have been kind to us strong performances from Mark experienced fighter in a close con- great support from Southampton vious rounds. After a close-run con- after sending us to Edinburgh in Stacey in 34th and Andrew Christie test. friends in her corner, Bryony test with nothing between the fight- 2000, Manchester in 2001, it surely in 40th things were going well. showed her fighting instinct and ers, Greg managed to get a couple would be closer for us to travel to, Diego Mencerryes’ tough experi- determination in a nail biting round, of vital last points with a double but no they send us to Belfast. After The next race was the Mens Long ence as a full-contact competitor in to win in the last few seconds of turning kick, back-fist combination many of our team of 11 staying up race which involved 3 athletes from his native Spain, gave him the extra time with a two-point spin- to claim first prize. all night we arrived in Belfast very our uni, Dan McCarthy, John advantage in this all-styles semi- ning-kick to the head. A modest tired at around 9am. After being McCole and Martin Rust. The long contact competition, and he won fighter at all times, she expressed A larger team of fighters from the bundled into a minibus with race was over 10km which was five through to the semi-finals of the disbelief before accepting the first university will be competing in Loughborough we finally reached laps. Yet again Loughborough dom- Beginners’ section in a series of place trophy with a delightful jump Winchester towards the end of Feb, our hotel at 11 where we promptly inated with the first three, but Dan impressive bouts utilising his formi- and squeal! good luck to them all. jumped straight into bed to get some McCarthy produced the highest dable right-hook, before losing out well needed rest! position from our university in the to the section’s winner, eventually Finally came Greg Munford’s first If you are interested in joining the Long race with a brilliant run finish- having to settle for an admirable outing as an Intermediate fighter, University Kickboxing Club, either The race was to be held at the ing 27th. John McCole finished just fourth place. after just three competitions as a for competition of self-defence/fit- Queens University playing fields inside the top 90 with 89th and in Beginner. Lacking confidence due ness then log on to which had been used for the World his first cross country race Martin Next came the only female competi- to the higher level of fighting, he www.soton.ac.uk/~kickbox for Cross Country Championships in Rust finished 149th. Martin in fact tor, Bryony Tyrell, a 3rd Year fought a surprising first round, training details and contact informa- 1999. The team were in high spirits provided the comedy moment of the Biological Sciences student, who using simple but effective tech- tion (or see link from Clubs & Socs eagerly antipating getting very weekend when after 1 lap he passed was up against the full range of niques, to win by two points. website) muddy and wet around a course myself and Jon with his spikes in which can best be described as his hands as they had fallen apart, so boggy. we quickly nipped back to our bags to get another pair for him and The races began at 12 noon with the whilst he was running we managed mens 4km, after last year of coming to get them on his feet, bit like a pit 2nd team behind Loughborough and stop! having one athlete in the top ten we were looking to at least equal this The last race was the womens over performance. 6km which was 3 laps of by now a very muddy course. First home for As the gun went everyone charged us was Beth Harris who finished towards the first corner of a two lap 40th followed by Christine Currie course, Gareth Klepacz from our who was 69th then Ellie McManus university tried to mix it at the 103rd and Charity King 131st , this beginning with the Loughborough led to the womens team finishing an boys with Jon Brown and Nigel excellent 11th. SUTKD TO GO TO HONG KONG The Southampton Tae Kwon Do arts masters in Hong Kong will be club have 10 of their members extremely valuable. For those stu- going to Hong Kong. The trip will dents of SUTKD that can afford to take place during the first part of go, the benefits are direct and obvi- the Easter vacation this year. It will ous. For those who are unable to provide the opportunity for current attend, the benefits will be filtered Southampton students to strengthen through the club in the form of their knowledge in the martial art of improved training methods and Taekwondo. knowledge. The trip is a once in a lifetime opportunity, thanks to cur- All martial arts originate from the rent Southampton student Mandy Far East, and so any knowledge that Lo, and her instructor in Hong can be acquired from the martial Kong. 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 44

Hello, are currently looking for sponsorship. So if you know any companies We hope everyone survived the that might be interested, then get in exam period, without too much touch! stress! With the exams over, the main worry of students is the In other news the Athletics club Anne Widdecombe: Third prize win- Mark: The unstoppable sex machine gets some wind in his sails. results. It looks like lots of you have managed to place well in the recent ner in the yam lookalike contest 2001 been trying to take your mind off BUSA cross-country, despite what Southampton University Cricket going on since October in the sports tion for all cricketers against the Institute has been lined last season and last year’s tour to things by taking part in numerous looked like unpleasant conditions Getting naked in public is not Mark got his kit off was in a 1993 such as the Liberal Democrats Club, proudly sponsored by hall, and recently the senior players in the club. There are also a number up for Friday May 17th. It will be a Barbados, is available on the Club’s sporting events AND writing arti- and the mud claiming some peo- something your average person Rugby sevens tournament in Hong Election rally (sporting the amusing KPMG, is looking forward to have also started training at of high profile games supplement- 50 over affair, a great day out, and website, which will be listed via the cles for the paper! We seem to have ple’s trainers! would consider doing as a form of Kong, and since then he has not slogan ‘general erection’ on his their season, which starts with Hampshire’s impressive new ing the BUSA fixtures. Early in the we are hoping to bring along a mul- university web page from the start had many articles from a whole recreation. But Mark Roberts is not stoppped, having done over 150 chest), and even recently attempted pre-season training and trials in Rosebowl ground, which boasts sason, the 1st XI play an inaugural titudinous and vocal following. of March. range of clubs, which definitely The kick-boxing club have also your average person. He currently streaks to date. The fact that he has to whip it out in front of scary mid April. state of the art facilities. Nets for match against Hampshire U19s at Details to follow nearer the time, makes a welcome change from the been enjoying success, taking part holds the world record for the most been arrested on several on several ‘woman’ Anne Widdecombe. Sadly prospective members of the club are Welly. The club also welcome the but pencil the date in your diaries. Anyone wishing to join the club f**ck -all we normally get. in a tournament in Bournemouth, streaks, and describes himself as occasions does not seem to worry he was unsuccessful - better luck already underway, so that everyone world famous Lashings team on We also have games against other who has not yet come to any net and they are also looking for more ‘the world’s most prolific streaker.’ him! next time Mark! The 2002 season is eagerly awaited in the club, existing members and Wednesday 29th May, who are touring sides and the hotly contest- practices should contact the Club We’ve just been amusing ourselves members, so if you fancy taking as the club has retained a nucleus of new, will be ready for the physical bringing several big star names ed KPMG Sixes tournament, where Captain: by looking at ‘The Streaker’ web- part in a great form of exercise that His website features an extensive Sporting events seem to be the place To explain his bizarre obssession he key senior players, and much is demands of a packed fixture list. along, one of whom is West Indian a barbecue and drinks will be pro- site, which has a variety of photos also involves learning valuable self- history of his streaking career, and to streak, and recently Mark’s ‘tack- states: “It gives me a buzz, the expected of last year’s freshers, fast bowling legend Curtly vided for spectators and players. Elliot Hughes and stories. The guy is crazy! defence skills, get in touch with numerous entertaining photos, such le’ has been seen at the rugby world crowd laugh and if you can make who now have the experience of All four teams have been entered Ambrose. them. as the featured classic below. (nice cup final and the Arsenal vs. people laugh it gives you a big rush. BUSA cricket under their belts and into BUSA competitions this year, Further information about the club, [email protected] With the warmer weather (slowly) pouch!) Liverpool F.A cup final. Although it I don’t do it to offend”. (ok then!) should flourish. Training has been ensuring a healthy level of competi- In addition to this, the Varsity match including details and photos from approaching, Cricket club are get- If you have any articles to send, does not stop there - he seems to ting ready for the season and hop- contact us by e.mail at: The very first time liverpool- born have an urge to get it out anywhere, Now a known celebrity, Mark has ing to do well in the upcoming made numerous television and radio BUSA tournaments. [email protected] appearances, including The Big Breakfast, Vanessa and even The Tennis club, which is surprisingly Bye! News at Ten. new (started September 2001) have Chrissy and Susie. just topped the BUSA league and Furthermore, it appears that streaking is not his only talent. He is now branching out in other areas - he is looking for a suitable publisher for a book of his life, and plans to release a rap single in the near future!

At the time of going to press we were attempting to get an interview with this fascinating man, so watch this space... Susie and Chrissy ACE! Since the formation of players, the club is only gaining in regular weekly socials at Avondale Southampton. bunfight held in October and Southampton University’s Lawn popularity and strength. and Academy and further dinner February each year, we will be Tennis club this year, our men’s At present, our committee members socials and general drunken activi- Our new tennis website can be expanding each semester. Contact and women’s team are now 1st in are working together to ensure the ties within the club and with other accessed at www.soton.ac.uk/~ten- can be made with the tennis club at the BUSA league in the South of players receive the best out of the Athletic Union clubs. We have nis, which includes links to training any time of the year by anyone England. We now go on to the first game, both on and off the courts. introduced a brand new ‘denim times, fixture lists, social events and who would like to play with the division, competing weekly with Just a few of the club’s assets blue’ Southampton University photos from previous socials, com- club by e-mailing other universities, which will con- include both indoor courts at the Lawn Tennis Club social jumper to mittee list with contact numbers/e- [email protected]. All standards tinue until the end of the summer David Lloyd centre, outdoor all the social scene of ‘colours clubs’, mail addresses. are welcome, and there is a lot term. weather courts at Wellington Sports which every member of our club more to look forward to from the Ground, coaching sessions and new wears when we are out on the town. Along with our tennis posters that club, including a tour to Australia With over thirty members in the tins of balls for every home match In the forthcoming future socials, are seen throughout the students next year with other clubs in the club, which includes 24 team and training sessions. our club can look forward to the union buildings, the propects of athletic union. members (including regional and summer athletic union ball being bringing in new members twice a county players) and 10+ social Our social secretary has organised held in April at the guildhall, year at the freshers and refreshers 1466 WESSEX SCENE 26/2/02 11:09 am Page 46 EDITOR’S Sporting website COLUMN of the week: ANYONE FOR CRICKET? www.thestreaker.org.uk

PART OF A SPORTS CLUB? WESSEX GOT A STORY TO TELL? E.MAIL US AT: SPORT [email protected] MEN WITH BIG STICKS BEAT BOURNEMOUTH BOYS

The University Mens midfield, these positions filled by Hockey First Eleven have Unwin and Richie and after five become an unstoppable force years of service to the SUMHC, in the BUSA Western 1st X1 Rob Richie’s flair, crucial pace and- division, following a 4-1 anni- strength on the ball will be sorely hilation of local rivals missed next season. Up front the Bournemouth University. The positions have varied, but notice- team continue their excellent run ably the inclusion of Hugh Reed of large wins that they accumulated Herbert as a natural goal scorer before the Christmas break, which along with the seasoned BUSA saw wins over every team in the player and skilful phd student league, including a 3-0 resultover Wilkinson, have seen the opposition the Institute. defence frequently picking the ball out of their goal. The success of the team has been the product of highly organ- At the other end of the pitch, the isedcaptaincy by David Hemsley, formidable beingof Hugh Maguire who along with Roger Ellison, has played consistently well in goal, Jonathan Unwin and Rob Richie and at times pulledoff some hugely are the only players from last years important and impressive saves. first team. There were worries at the beginning of the season that The win against Bournemouth also there would not be a sufficient marked the comeback of Jonny influx of first-years in to the hock- Loos for the SUMHC, having ey club, but these fears have been missed the restof the season through put to rest as a plethora of fine injury, and his impact on the game freshers are regular first with two goals was team players. Nick immeasurable. Dyson and Guyan Kendall-Torry As well as a good record on the have slotted pitch, the members of the team also in nicely at maintain the reputation of the right and left hockey club as the university’s back respectively, most fearsome boozers, staying martialled well by the loyal to the traditional and exclu- rock-like Ellison at centre sive wine bar, Clowns and Jesters back. Chris Ridley and Henry on a wednesday night. The club’s Wacher likewise, have played motto purporting ‘arrogance and well either side of the skilful disri- exellence’ is very much alive and bution of captain Hemsley in mid- with the fine core of regular players field. that the 1st team now has, promotion is likely with only one BUSA Due to coach David Rutherford’s game left, and the prospects for next effective playing system there are season look very bright indeed. two attacking sweepers behind the Jonathan Unwin

what’s inside: Athletics>>>Tennis>>>Kickboxing>>>Cricket...