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““The ’Burnian” is everything the Midwest is all about. It’s dazzling—it’s exciting! And very, very sexy.” ... goes up in flames for April Fools’! - Gideon Blackburn Vol. 8, No. 4 Apr. 2013 I looked up and saw this figure Barney Beaver coming at me from the tennis Anonymous donor funds Dawes goes rabid! courts. It was moving so fast pool restoration by Kayla Koyne by Taylor Hess I hardly had time to react! I led to the closing of pool growing costs of maintenance, team. This, coupled with for Blackburn to have a swim meet the necessary regulations not did it However, years. 25 and remained open for over Gymnasium Dawes in 1982 in especially in the winter.” friends or for daily exercise, used as a place to hang out with among students. It was often “The pool was very popular Blackburn alum Jake Oakwood said that 1985 intensified. support for its re-opening has the pool’s closure, student Blackburn students got into my car as quickly as beware! Several members of possible and locked my door. The pool originally opened years pass after As the campus community have By that time I could see that reported that the beloved it was Barney Beaver, but Barney Beaver has gone something was wrong. He was rabid and is loose on campus foaming from the mouth and attacking anyone he comes growling! It was one of the across! most terrifying things I’d ever seen!” The student was able to drive off uninjured. Later that evening a Blackburn baseball player also deep end!” the time to be drowning in the save me because I ain’t got “I hope someone’s ready to said, who Guyton Reggie like to the relief of some students will include lifeguards, much become available as well. Jobs New work program jobs will option for Blackburn students. so a swim team will soon be an pool. It will meet regulations, has been made to build a new necessary repairs, the decision the pool. Rather than make plans are developing to re-open gift from an anonymous donor, in 2009.
encountered the rabid Barney. Now, thanks to a generous “It was around eight o’clock, and I was leaving Dawes after practicing my swing in the gym. As soon as I walked out the side doors I saw Barney running up quick from the Jewell area. His teeth were incredible and he was making the craziest sounds. Once he
was in range I started to hit pool! construction begins on our in the upcoming year as ’Burnian” “The from updates hear.’” is being reopened, I say ‘hear our noses with chlorine. it As fill would and drinking isn’t year-round entertainment that with real-life training, provide would create more new jobs Daniel Huddleston said, “It excited. Recent graduate complete, students are already over a year until construction is him with my bat. After he was down on the ground I ran as So look forward to more Even though it will take PHOTO COURTESY OF PR fast as I could to North.” Students are cautioned to call Luckily, nobody has Campus Community and Safety. suffered any bites or injuries; Late night on March 31, a however, students and faculty student who wishes to remain are advised not to approach anonymous was walking to Barney. Instead contact PHOTO COURTESY OF PR Above (and, well, sideways) is the Dawes her car in the DCC parking lot Blackburn’s Campus and pool during its operation years ago, to which when she spotted something Community Safety team to it will soon be restored. off in the distance: “I was report a sighting. Remain trying to unlock my car when vigilant, Blackburn!
Dr. Jeff Aper goes from provost to “Brovost” by Michelle Lee on BC’s campus. Instead of Hollister polo shirt with an shaking hands with students upturned collar and a tilted and staff, he regularly employs baseball cap that reads “2 the fist-bump as his greeting of REAL 2 QUIT.” Sometimes choice. He also drives around he likes to switch it up, campus in a new set of low- opting for an Ed Hardy shirt ridin’ wheels, blasting the bass featuring a menacing tiger or in his stereo system so that the skull and crossbones. He says reverberation of Biggie’s “Big the next steps in his lifestyle Poppa” can be felt from any transformation will be a tribal spot on campus. tattoo that spans his bicep His wife Sandy says and a hairstyle that requires a she doesn’t understand what plethora of hair gel. happened. “One morning he For those of you just woke up and ignored the unfamiliar with Dr. Aper’s new bowtie I had laid out for him terminology and lingo, here is the night before. He started a quick glossary, courtesy of talking differently, walking urbandictionary.com: with this weird limp and fly: cool, in style reached for a trucker hat.” homies: crowd of friends That weird limp is what Aper from the street, club or other PHOTO BY KAREN DILLON refers to as “swagga.” He also fist-bump: an alternative to Blackburn’s beloved He now refers to himself as recent interview. Dressing like shaved his facial hair into a a high five or handshake, often Provost Dr. Jeff Aper has “The Brovost.” “The bowtie a twenty-year-old Jersey Shore pencil-thin angular beard that seen in sports ceremoniously ditched his was too stiff and formal. I cast member, Aper believes frames his chin. swagga: one’s own unique signature bowtie and suit couldn’t get down with my he can easily identify with The Brovost can now be style or personality that sets jackets for more “fly” attire. homies,” he admitted in a the young student population seen in his office wearing a them apart from anyone else
What’s that? The jig is up? (Okay, you got us!) In honor of April Fools’, we’ve taken pranking to the next level. Read through the issue, guess whether the story is fact or fiction and then consult the answer key on the back page! Readers who correctly judge the most articles win free high-fives from “’Burnian” staff members, and those who correctly guess the least will suffer an eternity in the weight room with NO air fresheners! Upcoming What’s shakin’? Events 2 • The ’Burnian [email protected] April 2013 Water pipe breaks in Jewell Hall, ruins technology services equipment by Traci Kamp On March 4 Technology Services Lab Assistants and Technicians Nathan Wilson and Shane Nalezyty discovered a broken water pipe in the Jewell Hall boiler room after the two were approached by Resident Assistant Shaun Thrasher, who told them that the WIFI was not working. PHOTO COURTESY OF PR High school students participate in the 2013 CIHSMUN. Two switches, which are crucial pieces of equipment Amnesty Rep attends Blackburn- for powering the WIFI, were ruined. PHOTO BY TRACI KAMP by Clayt Scheller The broken water pipe (above) caused quite a mess in Jewell Hall. hosted CIHSMUN After the break was On Thursday, March 7 nine Staub defined the concept discovered, all three students Nalezyty contacted on were ruined and could Illinois high schools attended of human rights in a speech informed Jewell Hall Resident Datacenter supervisor Jason no longer power the WIFI. the twenty-fifth annual Central to those who attended the Director and Director of Cloninger after it was verified Two replacement switches Illinois High School Model meeting. By connecting issues Residence Life Tim Moran. that the WIFI was not working were deployed to remedy the United Nations (CIHSMUN) addressed by the Model UN The students reported that and the break in the pipe situation. Cloninger estimates meeting in Woodson. students to current examples Moran claimed to have heard caused water to leak directly that the unnoticed water break Students from the college of human rights abuse, she rushing water on the underside onto the switches that power caused “hundreds of dollars” led the event. Between 9:15 intends to raise awareness of his floor—the boiler the WIFI in Jewell. in damages to the equipment, a.m. and 2:15 p.m., high of and interest in Amnesty’s room is underneath the RD Cloninger assessed the but it is relatively inexpensive school students representing mission among a large group apartment—for approximately damage to the equipment compared to what could have different countries debated, of well-informed students. three hours but did not and discovered that the two been ruined if the break had composed resolutions and Staub also brought investigate. switches that had been leaked not been reported. worked toward compromise as several of Amnesty’s current actual UN delegates would. campaigns — namely, petitions “We’ve put in lots of work addressing unmanned drone History program canceled, BC community shocked by Katie Ward to mark the occasion,” said strikes and lax international Political Science Professor arms trade regulations—to the In early January this year, applicable major for grad offering diverse and engaging Dr. Mike Bradley regarding group’s attention. rumors began circulating school or the job market,” coursework would encourage CIHSMUN’s twenty-fifth Helping what Staub that the Blackburn College History professor Dr. Gary enrollment,” Zimmerman said. anniversary. “It’s a special refers to as “prisoners of History Department will face Long speculated. “Or maybe “Universally accepted merits day.” conscience,” or people illegally major budget cutbacks due it’s Dr. Bray’s mustache. of history coursework— Guest speaker Carmen imprisoned for acts of civil to dwindling enrollment. Students love it.” Long’s advanced research and critical Hidalgo Staub introduced unrest, is a major focus of the At a faculty meeting on efforts to grow a competing reading skills, to name two— attendees to the US branch of organization. Staub describes Wednesday, March 27, the mustache were unsuccessful. don’t hold water anymore. Amnesty International. Amnesty International simply: truth was revealed as far more “You got it or you don’t,” Students want money after Amnesty International is “[Amnesty] advocates for severe: Provost Dr. Jeff Aper Long lamented. graduation. And mustaches.” a human rights advocacy and voices who need help.” announced that the History Despite Chair Dr. Jan Current majors report research organization which Staub invites all to major would no longer be Zimmerman’s famous braid, disgust over the program’s works to prevent human visit Amnesty’s website at offered to students starting the her capacity for hair growth discontinuation. “Well, I rights abuse. High school and www.amnestyusa.org, where 2014-2015 academic year. cannot help the struggling guess I know what that means college students compose the the organization’s current “Maybe students think department. “I believed, for us,” said senior Adam majority of its member base. campaigns can be found. science is considered a more perhaps foolishly, that Trovillion. “We’re history.”
“Operation Acorn”: Squirrels plot take-over by Ron Smith It’s that time of year again! The squirrels are with squirrels Blackburn College Relay for Life Club organizing. Their violent communicating. nd chatter can be heard in the They have kept up 2 Annual Mini Relay for Life early morning along the hill the appearance of between Stoddard Hall and fighting amongst Saturday, April 13th Lumpkin Library. Four or five themselves, but 3 p.m. to 9 p.m. squirrels have been spotted this is their version DCC patio there on the ground, standing of the internet. (Rain location: inside DCC) erect and giving students Caution is hard stares. What is known necessary along is the squirrel population of with a healthy Blackburn is getting fit, and awareness of they no longer show fear. surroundings. Squirrels have been smart If a squirrel is about keeping this fact hidden seen matching a by setting up scouts around student’s speed campus. It wasn’t until a harsh on a bike, it isn’t wind blew through the trees that cute—they are a piece of bark was discovered training. While with scrawled plans of seige. students worry Their primary objective is about homework, to take over the campus and the squirrels create an autonomous squirrel prepare for war. At Hamburgers, hot dogs, chips, soda and other foods collective. They will keep a a moment’s notice will be available along with a DJ and plenty of games. few students and faculty as they can strike. If slaves, and the rest will be they can scurry There is no running involved, so come out and join us “processed.” up the rough bark The weaponry and tactics of a tree, what is in our fight against cancer! they’ll use is unknown. Every a human leg to tree by every dorm buzzes them? Slightly Cooler Than Page 2 April 2013 [email protected] The ’Burnian • 3
Catching up with BC alum David Horn by Clayt Scheller How to survive April Fools Day by Kayla Koyne
During a day dedicated to cower to the idiocy of April pranks and mischievousness Fools’ Day, then try option it can be difficult to not be on number two. Step one: get the receiving end. While it is a squirt bottle. Step two: fill not a national holiday, April it with water or pickle juice Fools’ Day—also known as if you are in a really bad All Fools’ Day—is observed mood. Step three: proceed to in many countries across the squirt the living daylights out world. Its origins are unclear, of anyone who attempts to but the underlying theme of prank you. After one or two pranking on this day possibly occurrences, word will spread, dates back 500 years. With and no one will dare think of scares and mini-heart attacks pranking you out of fear of
PHOTO COURTESY OF DAVID HORN akin to Halloween, navigating being drenched. Hey, it works “When I was on the staff in ’63, we took the words ‘cut’ and ‘paste’ literally,” says alum David Horn. this holiday can be difficult, on cats, so why not people? A but you have three options to more extreme variation of this Blackburn alum and former “’Burnian” writer David Horn ’63 recently touched make it through the day. may be necessary if the squirt base with current staff to see how his old paper has changed in the past five decades. The first option is to avoid bottle fails. If a select few are When I asked Dave some questions about his experiences in and out of Blackburn, people and their foolishness. bent on continuing the April he responded by sharing many colorful details, anecdotes and advice from his Even though classes may pose Fools’ festivities, then simply extensive experience as a journalist. a problem, it is still possible drop-kick them off of the It pains me to abbreviate Dave’s interesting responses due to space restrictions, to embrace your inner hermit. holiday bandwagon. Warning: but I’ve tried not to cut too much out. With that said, here goes: While making the perilous do not attempt this on teachers journey from your dorm or car or people who may seek legal Q: When did you originally those amendments. I passed. of Oz.” They were still short to the classroom, practice your action against you. come to Blackburn? Today I can’t remember any of but had white hair and fun ninja skills and do your best to On the slight chance that A: I came to Carlinville it, except the experience, which memories to share. I also remain undetected by the April these two options do not work, from my home in metro still feels very Lincolnesque. provided the only verbatim Fools’ fanatics. During class, try the old “if you can’t beat Boston, MA by bus in the Q: I understand that account of John Mellencamp’s you can relax slightly since them, join them.” Even if fall of ’61 after graduating you used to work for “The graduation address at Indiana few students will pull a prank you do not usually participate from Boston English High ’Burnian.” What did your job University. He spoke off the on you in front of the professor. in the holiday you can still School, the oldest public high entail? cuff, but I had two (count ’em, After class, immediately revert attempt this. Who knows, school in America. Other A: In those days, there was two) pocket tape recorders. back to ninja mode to avoid maybe you will be such a famous alums include Leonard not a lot of competition for Batteries don’t last forever. being pranked. Use your natural at pranking that no one Nimoy, the half-Vulcan half- poetry editor, since no students Q: What advice would you backpack as a shield against will dare ever mess with you human Mr. Spock on the wrote poetry for the paper give current writing students? any potential April Foolers. again. Happy pranking! Starship Enterprise, and Louis except me. I was poetry editor A: For opinion columns, If you would rather not Farrakhan, leader of the Nation by default. The job entailed write what you feel strongly of Islam, but I digress. printing my own poems. in your gut. First drafts may Q: What did you study? Q: You once described be written in blood, so to A: Since I had no clue the “’Burnian” staff that you speak. For news copy, find an Shout Outs! “The ’Burnian” Staff about a career, I majored in worked on as “fairly banal.” opening line—a hook—that Send your shout outs to Editor-in-chief English. Ludlum Hall was Could you elaborate? compels the reader to keep [email protected] Katie Ward under construction, and to A: In those days, students reading. My favorite hook avoid working outside in had a narrow worldview. The happened while covering Dr. Jeff Aper: Assistant Editor the winter cold, I signed only news in the “’Burnian” graduation at an alternative Thanks for having fun Haley Welch up as a pot-washer in the involved campus life. How [high school]. These events helping us with our story! Layout Editor kitchen. As a sophomore, I provincial were we? Well, our are special because Mom and Paul Kline: Traci Kamp sensed my future might be editorial staff agreed to ignore Dad never dreamed Johnny Looking forward to in the Fourth Estate and got the Cuban Missile Crisis. Few would finish school, and there sharing your stories from Photo Coordinator assigned writing news releases newspapers can make that he is on stage! When a grad Emily Fisher abroad in the next issue. for John Perry, Blackburn’s claim. stood up on stage and said, Campus Maintenance: Faculty Advisor/Editor Public Relations director, in his Q: What have you done “Six months ago, I couldn’t You all rock for starting Prof. Natasha Casey Hudson office. I left Blackburn since graduating? spell valedictorian, and now spring with an early Faculty Editor after two memorable years and A: After a few years as I am one,” I knew that was morning of shoveling snow! Dr. Karen Dillon eventually graduated from an enlisted man at the Naval my lead . . . Demand 100% Prof. Casey: Boston State College. Communication Command factual accuracy and help Publisher This is for all the thinly- Q: Do you have any Headquarters in Washington, the reader “see” the scene Edwardsville Intelligencer veiled inside jokes you particularly vivid memories of DC, I worked more than a by writing what you’d want submit for shout-outs. Social Media Consultant Blackburn? decade for “The Christian to see if you weren’t there in Aha! What now? Rachael Lancey A: My most vivid memory Science Monitor.” Later I person. Hold a pocket tape- David Horn: of Blackburn was taking Poli moved with my wife and two recorder under your reporter’s Staff Writers Glad to hear from you, and Sci with Dr. Forbes in the spring daughters to rural Plymouth, notepad to guarantee exact Sarah Collman thanks for giving us some Christian Gragnano semester of my freshman year. Indiana, where I wrote for quotes . . . Many stories are journalistic pointers. His final exam was pass-fail “The Pilot-News” . . . After humdrum, but now and then Taylor Hess and never changed. You had writing and taking photos for you can save a life. My most Dr. Kate Roark and the cast Ray Johnson Traci Kamp to memorize the Bill of Rights “The South Bend Tribune,” successful story was about a and crew of “URINETOWN”: Kayla Koyne and write it down. If you forgot I moved to Bloomington, man in Bloomington, IN who Can’t wait for the musical to open on April 11! Michelle Lee a comma, you flunked. If not, Indiana, where I wrote for “The was waiting for a kidney. After Clayt Scheller you passed. I vividly recall Herald-Times.” My weekend reading it, a complete stranger Kenny James: Amber Smith walking long dusty rural roads stories included interviews decided to donate one of his, Congrats on your senior Ron Smith between cornfields under a with Senator Richard Lugar and they were a match. That’s seminar. Can’t wait to say Sydney Walsh hot afternoon sun, reading, and also with all the surviving “problem-solving journalism” we knew you before you Katie Ward repeating and trying to recite Munchkins from “The Wizard at its best. were famous. Haley Welch BC History Department: Columnist Wow. Just imagine—starting from a humble Midwestern college, Mr. Horn Thanks for playing along. Adam Trovillion transitioned from washing pots and being uncertain about his career to working Everyone knows you aren’t in the nation’s capital, writing for “The Christian Science Monitor” and saving a going anywhere! You rock. Contributing Writers man’s life through journalism. It’s incredible to see all the places writing has taken Miranda Clark him. Dr. Chris Morin Administration & Academics... boring! 4 • The ’Burnian [email protected] April 2013 Student Miranda Clark sends report of Wales experience Dear Blackburn, Greetings from Wales! Professors are called lecturers through the Discovery around Swansea and Upon arriving in Swansea, one in Wales. One thing that program as a mentor for newly take them to Rhosalli of the first things I noticed was shocked me about my lecturers dispersed asylum seekers. Bay, which is rated the drinking culture. Students is that they do not have a cell Fellow Blackburn student Paul among the top ten usually go out several nights phone policy. Also, my classes Kline and I attend Dunvant best sea beaches in the a week to the clubs and drink. only have two assignments Fellowship Church. The people United Kingdom. In fact, I am shocked by the due the whole semester, which are friendly, the messages are Overall, I would amount of free time that is nice but quite scary at the excellent and there is a free recommend a semester students have on their hands. same time. delicious student lunch for all in Wales to everyone My housemates will spend I am interning at Minority the college students! because it is truly hours drinking and playing Ethnic Women’s Network; Spring break is three weeks an experience of a Scrabble in the kitchen. I can’t it helps women of all ages, long at Swansea University! I lifetime. help but to think to myself, offering a variety of programs. am traveling to Rome, Paris, “You guys are on easy street.” It has been a cross cultural London and possibly Florence Sincerely, My classes are okay, but experience learning about with a girl from Boston. I am Miranda Clark I miss the friendly professors the various religions, life very fortunate to have my perspectives and cultures. mother and sister visiting! We that Blackburn offers. It was PHOTO COURTESY OF LINDSEY WATTS an adjustment to the larger I am actively involved in will be going to Ireland and Clark (right) with fellow study-abroad students classes, lecture theatres and the Christian Union and dance Scotland, and I will show them visit a church in France. strictly lecture-based classes. society, and I am volunteering
What you think you know about Mathematics... “ALL HAIL CAESAR!” by Traci Kamp and why you’re wrong by Dr. Chris Morin Many first-year departments across campus. Myth 0: If you divide by change your mind if evidence Myth 3: You will never professors come to Blackburn “Specific departments zero, then you die. Although and reason call for it. use this math in real life. Ok, with an open mind and a will be able to create web you may have heard this from Myth 2: You can’t do you got me on this one. Most small list of changes they content that highlights your math professor, there is math. As a math professor of us use very little math in real would like to make. Paul what is happening in their little evidence to support it. I have heard this numerous life. When do you ever need to Gross, however, also looked departments. The best part is Yes, it is true that bad things times, but I don’t ever recall graph a rational function, take to campus changes. that [the software] provides happen when dividing by zero, believing it. Yes, we all have a derivative or give a rigorous “The primary changes a standard mechanism to such as “proving” that 1 = 2, different abilities and interests. proof that every cyclic group is I’ve made . . . provide collect all these events and but you will not die as a result Maybe you don’t have the time Abelian? Probably never. After opportunities for Computer tie them into one specific of dividing by zero. But then required to do well in a math taking your last math class, Science students to do more calendar that unifies them. again, why chance it? class due to other demands most people seldom if ever ‘real’ things,” Gross said. This way the Art department Myth 1: Go with your on your time. Or maybe do any math beyond addition, Students in classes previously can have a showing while first answer. When taking a you simply prefer to spend subtraction, multiplication and taught by another professor Performing Arts has a play test, a common misconception your time doing something division. In other words, third learned core concepts and both can be promoted in is that you should “go with else. That I can understand. grade math is all you need. but seldom put them into the same standard location.” your first answer.” In fact, But don’t fool yourself into So why take a college math practice. “The whole goal Due to his ambitious research has shown that you thinking that you can’t do math. course? Because doing math here is [to] provide labs and nature, many of Gross’s will do better if you go into a It may not be as easy for you requires abstract reasoning, projects where students are students have taken to calling test willing to reevaluate and as it seems to be for others— critical thinking and attention able to practice CS concepts him “Caesar.” Student change your first answer to a due to natural ability or a to detail. These skills and in a very real way. Plus, it’s Matthew Pfannenstiel said problem. The “going with your weaker math background— habits are easily transferred far more interesting to say that “when it’s time for our first answer” policy is simply but if you have the time and into almost any part of your in an interview you built a class to start and another an excuse to avoid the hard willingness to work at it, you life. In short, like almost all turn signal for a 1965 Ford class is still occupying the work of deeper analysis. Go can almost certainly get at other college courses that have Thunderbird than you learned room, he just Caesar’s his with the answer that makes the least a C in your math course. little technical application in about Finite State Machines way in there and gets what most sense, whether it is your The students who are getting real life, a math course can in class.” he wants.” Gross had no idea first, second, third or nth guess. the better grades in their math help you develop thinking Another undertaking of that this nickname existed In math—as in life—one courses are almost always the skills and habits that will serve Gross’s has been building before this interview. When must be willing to reevaluate ones who are spending more you well for the rest of your a web server that hosts asked for a comment, he said a previous conclusion and time at it. life. informational sites for various “I like the salad.”
Computer Science alum Marcus Rich shares success story, advises future graduates by Michelle Lee Science alum, to see how well is really important to look in to cope with adversity in the college life. “Lastly, the thing he has fared since graduating your field a few months before workplace.” that I have learned the fastest from Blackburn in 2011. graduating and really get a When asked about advice was to never underestimate Rich is currently a Senior feel for who is the best and for future Computer Science the power of networking. Not Systems Engineer at Interactive most rewarding to work for. I graduates and other Blackburn from a computer side, but Intelligence, a software knew this was the job I wanted students, Rich was very networking with people. You company in Indianapolis, IN. before the position actually candid. “I think I will have to would be surprised how often “This was the first job that I had opened up. I just kept a give [three] pieces of advice people that do not network interviewed for in my field, and watch on the recruiting page here. Take pride in anything get overlooked and also if you I actually got the job before until one became available. and everything that you do. If do network well, how much I had graduated,” Rich said. Persistence pays off.” you always give it your best, it easier getting and moving up However, many graduates do Rich used a combination will get noticed no matter what in a job can be.” not find a job as easily. Recent of tools, including Blackburn’s you’re doing.” He continued, Rich fondly remembers studies, as reported by the Work Program, to set him apart “The second [piece of advice] the friendships and memories Associated Press in April 2012, from other job candidates. is enjoy college and don’t let he made at Blackburn. He show that “about 1.5 million, “Looking back, it was the petty things get to you while recalls the “SingStar parties in PHOTO COURTESY OF PR or 53.6 percent, of bachelor’s advice I had gotten from you’re in school. You will Graham Hall that could wake In a new series at “The degree-holders under the age Marsha Meredith, my previous never know how much that the dead and were far from ’Burnian,” we’re catching up of 25 last year were jobless experience as a developer and free time means once you’re within the noise regulations.” with recently graduated alumni or underemployed.” Despite my brother, who also works working full time and don’t The trick, he notes, to getting and inquiring about what life that staggering statistic, Rich in my field, that prepared get the chance to do what around the noise regulation is like after graduation. In this believes that there is hope for me. What I feel Blackburn’s you can do in school.” Rich was “inviting everyone so no edition of the series, I spoke students who are proactive in Work Program gave me was emphasizes the importance one is angry to complain.” with Marcus Rich, Computer their job searches. “I think it an understanding and ability of relishing every moment of Campus Gossip (Did you, like, see that girl’s butt?) April 2013 [email protected] The ’Burnian • 5 Spanish club gets revamped, encourages new members 2013-2014 Work Program student by Amber Smith managers selected by Haley Welch Hispanic food, antiques and traditional Hispanic gifts. Member Jack Homan jokingly recommended that “Spanish Club have a running of the bull contest.” Spanish Club will meet every other week from 5:00 to 6:00 p.m. in the commuter lounge on Tuesday nights for the rest of the semester. President Michelle Lee wants everyone to know that PHOTO COURTESY OF MICHELLE LEE “Spanish Club is for everyone. On February 26 Spanish cooking nights where members It is a place where Spanish PHOTOS COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE STUDENTS Club met in the ADRs to elect would get the opportunity to cultures will be celebrated but Carly Vunetich (left) and Katie Hazelwonder (right) were selected as the 2013-2014 Work Program General Managers. new officers and discuss how cook traditional food from you do not have to already to improve the club. The new Spanish cultures. speak the Spanish language in Selection for the 2013- Work Committee meetings officers are President Michelle Designating a conversation order to have fun at Spanish 2014 General Managers and as well as meeting with Lee, Vice President Ashley table in Ding where people Club.” Department Managers of the prospective students to discuss Fisher, Secretary Jordan could practice speaking The next Spanish Club Work Program concluded on the Work Program. GeRue and Treasurer Jesus Spanish while enjoying meeting is on Tuesday, April 2 March 7 after selecting two Following General Montes. dinner or having a dance and at 5:00 p.m. More suggestions General Managers and twelve Manager selections, Nine people attended a barbecue outside of DCC are welcomed and should be Department Managers. Department Manager the meeting and discussed were also considered. Another directed to Michelle Lee at The selection of General hopefuls took part in an in- ways to make Spanish Club possibility is a field trip to St. [email protected] Managers was made by depth application process more exciting and how to get Louis to visit Cherokee Street, or the Spanish Club Facebook the members of Work and interviews conducted more people involved. One the location of a collection page; leave a post! Committee consisting of by the current Department suggestion for an event was of stores that sell authentic current Department Managers, Manager and General General Managers and the Managers, Roger Fenton, Multiculturalism Club sets its agenda night in DCC on Thursday, Associate Dean of Work Roger the department supervisors by Clayt Scheller March 7. Fenton. After participating along with the newly selected On Thursday, February Club President Prince As a final order in competitive interviews, General Mangers. Major 28, members of Blackburn’s Koroma began the meeting of business, club advisor Carly Vunetich and Katie responsibilities of each Multiculturalism Club by stating the club’s mission. Donisha Clemons brought Hazelwonder were selected Department Manager include convened in the Commuter “[Multiculturalism Club] is the then-upcoming Tunnel to lead the Work Program assuring that the labor needs Lounge for the first time this not about race or color,” he of Oppression event to as General Managers. A of the department are met, semester. said. “It’s about expressing the group’s attention. She few of the responsibilities training workers, making The meeting ran from 7:00 yourself and raising awareness invited members of the club of the General Managers sure weekly time cards are to 7:30 p.m. and was open to of diversity on campus.” to pitch skit ideas regarding, include administrative duties, submitted and being a member any interested parties (not just Members of the club then in her words, “how not to discipline, running weekly of Work Committee. current members). For the rest moved to plan an event for the oppress people” for the event. 2013-2014 Work Program Department Managers: of the semester, the club will week prior to spring break. The club’s ideas were later meet once a month to allocate After some deliberation, the channeled in the event on their budget toward activities. group decided to hold a game March 28.
Students spend spring break on Besides a few minor setbacks Habitat home build by Sydney Walsh on the site we were able to grow as a chapter and help give a home to [local resident] Natasha and her family,” said President Samantha Yoder. Bookstore: Academics: Haley Welch For eight members this Ashleigh Clendenny was a returning trip, but for seven others this was their first time. “This year was my first year on the trip. I really enjoyed the whole thing. I want to go into green housing, so it is exciting to learn new things. PHOTO COURTESY OF EMILY FISHER I also enjoyed hanging out On March 9 sixteen travel, the club arrived in with people I normally would members of Blackburn Marianna, FL where they not hang out with. The whole Snack Bar: Marcos Moreno Campus Community & Safety: College’s Habitat for would spend one relaxing day trip was about broadening Marla Courtney Humanity chapter left to at Panama City Beach and the my horizon,” said freshman spend their spring break other four days on the build Brendan Lersch. helping others. Volunteers site constructing the house. Around the town of Ashley Rettig, Courtney Habitat for Humanity Marianna people were Bonnell, Sydney Walsh, provides those in need with surprised to hear that the Ashlee Shelton, Brendan a safe and affordable place students were not in town for Lersch, Shawn Watkins, Haley to live along with no-interest a typical spring break. These Welch, Seth Tonsor, Allison loans. Volunteers are able to students had made the decision Matt, Jake DeRousse, Zach help build these houses under to spend their spring break building a house for someone Administration: Briana Rae Campus Maintenance: Hagaman, Cassie Sledge, trained supervision. Ryan Long presidents Emily Fisher and Much was accomplished in need. Most admired the Samantha Yoder and advisor during the four days on the generosity of these students, Not pictured: Athletics: Jared Jones, Campus Services: Jeremy Abbey Hardin were among build site. “This year’s trip and the trip turned out very King, Community Services: Chelsea McMillian, Food Services: the members to take part in the was very successful. We had successful and allowed the Shane Rogers, Library: Mary Chamberlain, Technology build. a great group of students who volunteers to have great life Services: Tyler Lewis. After twelve hours of worked to get the house built. experiences. Stuff That’s Cool 6 • The ’Burnian [email protected] April 2013
“Fifty-Thousand Shades of Grey” Tetherball accident claims 4th grade Written by: S. C. Ashen student’s life by Haley Welch Released in stores: December 25, 2012 reviewed by Clayt Scheller Genre: Parody / Literary Criticism
As a lonely middle-aged literally replacing them with book. woman, I often turn to romantic the sentence fragment “Shades Actually, Ashen had the novels for entertainment. of grey” fifty-thousand times. audacity to leave a review of Stories like E. L. James’ stellar I don’t think I like the new his own book on Amazon. “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy direction the series is going. “Sweet liquor eases the allow me to vicariously live The plot (?) is extremely pain,” Ashen writes in his out my romantic fantasies in a predictable. I can say without summary. “I wrote this when way that no other medium can. fear of exaggeration that I was very drunk. It’s much While I consider the once you’ve read one page, better than the other book aforementioned trilogy to be you know exactly where the I wrote when I was drunk, IMAGE COURTESY OF SOUTH PARK STUDIOS an unparalleled masterwork, I rest of the story is headed. If which was basically a load of The tetherball incident in question goes awry. find the most recent installment I may directly address the semi-coherent swear words. (I SOUTH PARK - Kenneth that he will miss his student’s of the series somewhat author here: What have you never published that though— McCormick, a young boy with playful laughter and his disappointing. In “Fifty- done to my beloved Harlequin the papers got stuck together a passion for playing super innocent smile. Thousand Shades of Grey,” romance trilogy, Mr. Ashen? with vomit and tears.)” heroes, participating in school In his group of friends, newcomer S. C. Ashen takes You’ve made a mockery of a So there you have it. plays, and his signature orange Kenneth was commonly the inappropriate escapades of once-respectable series! What Although it does serve as parka, died Monday, April 1 in known as “Mysterion,” his Anastasia Steele and Christian will I read to simulate human excellent reference material for a tetherball accident. He was superhero identity that he often Grey in a rather unexpected interaction now? the words “shades,” “of,” and eight years old. adopted when playing in the direction. I cannot identify any “grey,” I cannot recommend Kenneth was born on neighborhood. While under his That is to say, Mr. Ashen overarching themes within the this book on any level as it has March 22, 2005 in the town super hero identity, Kenneth has removed those two story—Ashen clearly had no no literary value whatsoever. I of South Park, Colorado. often battled his nemeses characters (and every other message to convey. The end give it a pitiful 3/4 stars. Kenneth attended South Park known as “Professor Chaos” element of the original trilogy), result is a largely pointless Elementary where he was and “the Coon,” the identities a student in Mr. Garrison’s adopted by his friends Leopold Senior rendition of “Marvin’s Room” a success! by Taylor Hess fourth grade class. He was Stotch and Eric Cartman. known by his many friends and During these playful banters March 1 was the opening job of creating very convincing While they were very quick, classmates as “Kenny,” a good Kenneth always decided to be night of Kenny James’ senior roles that told a serious and the audience had full view natured student and a notorious the “good guy,” something that seminar play. James, 23, chose heartfelt story while injecting of each transition due to the jokester. When asked about was reflected in his character to direct the play “Marvin’s a little humor throughout the up close seating arrangement his classmate, eight-year-old and life by the way he cared for Room” written by Scott entire show. and lack of a curtain. While Eric Cartman responded, “My his younger sister and through McPherson. His cast included Another great aspect of nothing much could be done best friend in the whole world his loyalty to his friends. many Blackburn students as the play was the seating. Seats about that it did create a slight is Kenny McCormick.” Eric Kenneth is survived by his well as some members of the were set on the stage giving disconnect between each added sadly, “I love Kenny mother and father, Stuart and Carlinville community. the audience an up close and scene. McCormick, and I want you to Carol McCormick, as well as “Marvin’s Room” is a play personal relationship with Overall, “Marvin’s love him, too.” his nineteen-year-old brother about a dysfunctional family each character. It also allowed Room” can be added to Kenneth was active in Kevin and his five-year-old dealing with many struggles. the audience to feel as though the list of successful plays South Park Elementary holiday sister Karen. Bessie, a kindhearted woman they were a part of the story. that Blackburn’s theater plays for Thanksgiving and Services will be held at taking care of her sickly father When asked about the up close department has put on. in the non-denominational 10:00 a.m. Saturday, April 6 and aunt, is diagnosed with seating arrangement, Kenny holiday play “Mr. Hankey, in Kicked the Bucket Funeral leukemia. After hearing of James commented, “I don’t the Christmas Poo.” Kenneth Home, where Kenneth’s her sister’s diagnosis, Lee, an think the show could be done Seen a movie, read was a dedicated student family will also receive those unstable mother trying to get any other way. It has to be that a book or heard an who particularly enjoyed wishing to pay their respects back on her feet, travels with close up to the actors and to album recently? speaking Spanish as well as from 5:30 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. on her two sons Hank and Charlie the action of the play. It was Help enrich Blackburn’s Romanian. Mr. Garrison, one Friday, April 5. to get tested for a bone marrow an intense and very intimate campus culture: of Kenneth’s teachers at South Contributions can be made transplant to save Bessie. setting.” submit a review to the Park Elementary, stated, “We to The Society for Tetherball The strengths of “Marvin’s The only aspect of the play ’Burnian and tell us all will all miss Kenny,” adding Safety in memory of Kenneth. Room” centered on the acting. that I found unappealing was about it! The actors all did a wonderful the transitions between scenes. BC Choir presents “A Night at the Movies” by Katie Ward Saturday, March 23 the the Sea” from the Disney film Blackburn choir took its “The Little Mermaid.” audience to “A Night at the Before beginning the final Movies” with a series of song, Dr. Zobel addressed the songs from the silver screen. audience: “I just wanted to say Film references ranged from one thing: Let’s dance!” The “”Breakfast at Tiffany’s” to choir proceeded to perform “The Lion King.” an innovative and lively Aside from the finale, the version of “Jai Ho” from the greatest applause followed the Oscar-winning film “Slumdog choir’s rendition of “Under Millionaire.” PHOTOS BY KATIE WARD Above: the concert opens Far left: Dr. Elizabeth Zobel thanks the audience. Left: (left to right) Dr. Pei-I Wang, Dr. See Tsai Chan and Gary Morris accompany instrumentally. Right: (left to right) Katie Reif, Sawyer Burton, Erica Beard, Owen Meredith, Morgan Baldner and Taylor Critchfield sing “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.” Fact-less Rants of Whiny People April 2013 [email protected] The ’Burnian • 7 Is Chivalry Dead? of women in the workplace course, but in a “Hey, let me The Voice of and in the home are changing help you with that” type way. Dissent by Sarah Collman drastically. A knight in shining It can get a bit tricky because Senior History major Adam Trovillion comes clean armor is no longer at the top of ladies want gentlemen to know about his fervent love for the United States of Liberty, that they can open doors and the land of the fat and home of the bullies. a lady’s “must have” list, but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t carry things by themselves, at the top of her “most wanted” but they like to feel taken care list. of at the same time. As girls, Chivalry is not that we are completely capable of complicated, guys. You can taking care of ourselves, but complain all you want saying that doesn’t necessarily mean things like “I don’t have we want to. Maybe girls are a the money” or “Girls are little complicated. so complicated! How am I As far as not having the supposed to know what they money goes, you don’t have to want?” but when it comes take a girl to a fancy restaurant right down to it, there are little to impress her. It’s the thought things you can do that take no that counts, right? Make her money and almost no thought some ramen or if you go to I would like to set the themselves by sprinting like I was scrolling through at all that will score you points McDonald’s, for Pete’s sake record straight: I do not some common Kenyan, or my Facebook newsfeed and with almost any girl or… just pay for her McChicken! hate the United States of like…someone from another came across a post that read, elderly person. You don’t have to buy her America. Many people here country known for producing “Dear Girls, If a guy pauses It’s no secret that girls expensive things, either. Draw at Blackburn College have runners. a video game just to text you are in fact able to open doors a picture for her or attempt to made this grossly inaccurate, Something else we back. Marry him.” on their own, but there is write her a poem. She’ll be knee-jerk assumption about Americans don’t need is I’m sorry, what?! Is that something to be said for a ecstatic that you put in a little me based on a smattering geography. If it ain’t America, really the extent of a romantic guy that will rush in front effort to catch her attention, of partial and ambiguous then by God it ain’t my gesture these days? Pausing a of a girl just to get the door. more so than she would be if evidence. They read my problem. Caring about other video game? Sure, in today’s It’s especially nice if she’s all you did was pause a video articles for “The ’Burnian” people’s problems is a little world where the equality of carrying something heavy, in game just to text her back. which criticize America’s something that we in the the sexes is highly emphasized which case he could help even Come on, man. You’re foreign policy, domestic States like to call socialism, in every aspect of life, acts more by taking it from her. better than that. And she’s policy and political and and last time I checked we of gallantry and courtesy Not in a stealing-her-purse- worth more. And you know economic systems; they see proved that socialism doesn’t can seem futile. The roles in-a-dark-alley type way, of that. me at protests and political work when President Nixon rallies; or they hear me say dropped an atomic bomb Thou Shalt Not Diss by Haley Welch things like, “This country on Germany, killing brutal was built on the corpses of dictator Karl Marx and ending Most Christians will freely already a Christian, the group dead Indians and the backs World War I. admit we get a lot of flack on stuck around and essentially of African slaves, and not To reiterate, the two things a daily basis. While many kept trying to recruit me for a much has changed,” or, “I that Americans don’t need to non-religious or political team I was already on. Not only really hate this country,” and worry about are exercise and groups scream for tolerance, is the likelihood of making a from this they have somehow learning. We’re God’s chosen Christians are often the butt difference by throwing cards concluded that I’m some sort people, after all, and if God of jokes or the victim of at someone microscopic; I of America-hating leftist. wanted us to be fit or smart intolerance themselves. The found myself embarrassed Talk about trying to fashion then why bestow our great television show “Family Guy” that Christians feel the need to a rich tapestry out of a few country with the bounteous frequently represents Jesus and chase people down to feel good scraps of cloth and a half gift of McDonald’s fast food God in a disrespectful manner; about themselves. Why not not psychic and as a result spool of thread. franchises or make books so the owner of Chick-fil-A volunteer? Feed the homeless? cannot read anyone’s mind or To those who accuse me boring and difficult to read? was shunned for exercising Visit the elderly? Is annoying know what is in their hearts of hating America, I respond And please nobody tell me freedom of speech, and many spring breakers really the best or their intentions. God can. that nothing could be further that I’m not allowed to bring Christian owned businesses we can do? This is why He is the judge from the truth. Sure, it’s taken up God. Here I’m speaking are scoffed at for refusing As if bugging people on and you work at Burger King me a little longer to get there specifically to all the tenured to pay for medication that the beach isn’t enough to ruffle or something equally as epic. than most Americans, but the radicals on Blackburn’s does not coincide with their some feathers, many churches As important as you may think fact of the matter, dear reader, faculty who brainwash beliefs. Few dare to portray also have a knack of turning your opinion is, trust me, God is that I am in the midst of a America’s impressionable Allah disrespectfully or smack off new Christians by scaring can handle it, so do something passionate love affair with and extremely gullible youths: talk Muslim businesses that the bejesus out of them… no more constructive with your Lady Liberty, filling my this country was founded on refuse to pay for medication pun intended. They judge time. hands with the ample weight Christian principles. It says they deem against their morals in the name of Jesus, tell I would like to call on of her abundant consumer so in the Constitution, which for fear of extreme backlash. others they will go to Hell in Christians to have some pride goods, leering at the slim was dictated to Benjamin Christians on the other hand the name of Jesus, and claim and just stop. Stop resorting to middle and full bottom of Franklin by God after we won are expected to roll over and their self-righteous behavior pointless recruitment tactics her shapely class structure, the Civil War. drop their beliefs to appease is applauded by Jesus. As most colleges wouldn’t even and feeling the arousing In conclusion, I love others. As wrong as this justified as many Christians use and step off your self- magnitude of her power and America. We may not have double standard is, recently feel about belittling others, I righteous pedestal. If someone aggression when I picture her the highest literacy rates or I have started to understand have a very simple question wants to become involved dominating weaker nations the best healthcare system, just why my own kind is being for those who think this is in religion the choice is like Vietnam and Iraq. but we are first in the West for persecuted the way we are. right: Are you all-knowing? If ultimately between them and Yes, as a red-blooded, income inequality, and that’s While on spring break you answered no, then chances God. Our job is to be there flag-feeding American, when something. And so, I’d like to I was laying on the beach are you are not God and need to answer questions once that I see Old Glory flying high end my article with a quote enjoying myself when a to stop pretending like you choice is made, not beat people like some majestic eagle that from George Washington Christian group from a know everything. James 4:12 into submission with the Bible. has turned red, white and who, while standing over college approached me. I was clearly states, “There is one So rather than look down at blue, perhaps as a result of the mangled body of an cornered and felt obligated Lawgiver, Who is able to save others, bend down and actually exposure to nuclear radiation, enemy soldier whose life to participate in their “game” and to destroy: who art thou help. Set an example as a good I proudly think to myself, was sacrificed for the cause which involved picking cards that judgest another?” In case person, not as a Bible thumper ‘These colors never run’— of freedom, passionately that represented my beliefs you didn’t get the significance who would rather judge than much like most Americans, proclaimed, “Now ship your about God. Despite the fact of that verse, it means mind make a real difference. who suffer from higher rates red ass back to Russia, you that I made it very clear I was your own business. We are of obesity than anyone else commie bastard!” in the world. But why should I know. I’m a history Got somethin’ to say? the American people demean major. Send opinion pieces to [email protected] by Friday, April 19 and see your piece in the next issue! Wait... we have athletics? 8 • The ’Burnian [email protected] April 2013
BC basketball lands all-star athlete with controversial green card offer by Christian Gragnano eighteen-year-old phenom for the Work Program. “In with as much potential as my country, hard work and an there are stars in the sky and education are greatly valued, is the nephew of former NBA and even though other athletic great Dikembe Mutombo. programs could offer me my In addition to his raw talent, every desire, I would rather he is a physical specimen, bring honor than shame to my standing at an imposing 7’2 family,” said Mohamed. He and weighing in at a lean 280 further added, “I like the idea lbs. Even more impressive, his of résumé building in the Work wing span stretches to 7’8, and Program. I know after my he can move up and down the career in the NBA it will give court as gracefully as a swan. me the necessary skills to find So what was BC’s secret a job outside of basketball.” to landing such a high profile Acquiring this rare talent recruit? Well, it all lies in the was not easy, and required PHOTO COURTESY OF MICHAEL STOUFFE recruiting restrictions imposed PHOTO COURTESY OF MICHAEL STOUFFE much research to find the Blackburn has officially on D1 and D2 schools. The loopholes to enable such an entered the game—the impasse for these schools was “Even more impressive, his wingspan stretches acquisition, but it was well recruiting game, that is. As that Mohamed was not an to 7’8, and he can move up and down the court worth the trouble. I hope in of March 19, Blackburn has American citizen; however, as gracefully as a swan.” the future BC can play to landed one of the hottest BC remedied the issue by not their strengths, as they did recruits in all of basketball, offering a scholarship (which for our school. has been receiving in national in this case, and continue to Akbar Mohamed of the is prohibited by the NCAA for Further incentive that magazines, such as being listed find creative ways to obtain Democratic Republic of D3 schools) but rather offering lured the top-notch recruit to in the top forty most overlooked quality talent in the recruiting the Congo. Mohamed is an him a green card to come play BC is the recent notoriety BC schools in the nation, namely bonanza. tests. Needless to say, they Searching for new didn’t receive that hopefully Football to be revived, campus vaguely interested athletic director awaited call for a second by Ray Johnson date. This less than successful Hey Beavers, are ya ready doing so, the Beavers will 2009-10 school year, the school by Christian Gragnano experiment brought on the for some FOOTBALL?! It has also be renewing their football chose to eliminate football from Searching for a new next wave of candidates, been three years now since rivalries with local Illinois the athletic program. Athletic Director is much like which consisted of thirty to Blackburn had a football colleges including MacMurray Starting fall of 2013, the courting a woman. It is not a forty applicants and has now team. Just last year the school College in Jacksonville, as Beavers will be lacing up science, where formulas and been narrowed down to three. sold off all of its remaining well as Greenville College their cleats and headed for the calculations can produce a So what gives? At this football equipment, but it and the Red Devils of Eureka gridiron as they renew their infallibly correct answer but time, as we have pointedly seems that the administration College . football program. Because rather an art that involves realized, Blackburn has nearly made that last sale a little too The Blackburn football Blackburn parted ways with chemistry, compatibility and come across a hundred resumes early; the Beavers announced team began in 1988, and the former long-time football head an overall well-suited match. for the job and has yet to hire they will be returning to the 2008-09 school year was their coach Roger VanDeZande, th Through this illustration we anyone, which invokes the field, this time as members of 20 and final season of varsity the athletics department hopeless romantics can relate logical question, “What’s the the Upper Midwest Athletic football. In order to avoid has already held numerous to this often difficult search. criteria or qualities Blackburn Conference (UMAC). In budget deficits in the school’s coaching interviews. It seems almost as if you have is looking for in an AD?” to meet all the wrong ones “We’re looking for a how to get there. The mission before you meet the right one. candidate with administrative and vision need to develop a So too is the case in the search and leadership skills who has facilities plan, a staffing plan, for an athletic director. As the ability to move things and a fundraising plan.” Blackburn has been in limbo forward with a vision. We also Pressure in the hunt for during the 2012-2013 school would like to see someone who a new AD is mounting as we year, or better yet, ‘between has familiarity with the college are now nearing the end of relationships,’ the college demographic and experience this school year. However, has been furiously shopping at the division III level,” said it is pertinent to remain cool around like a desperate speed interim AD Heidi Heinz. In and calm in these perilous dater. recognition of the iniquities and confusing times of When this process began, and deficiencies all people bachelorhood. Finding the BC received somewhere in have without their significant right match is all a matter of the neighborhood of fifty to other, Heinz further added, timing—sometimes it may be sixty applicants, two of whom “we need someone to rally the long and arduous, yet it may BC brought on campus and troops. They need a mission, even happen when you least miserably failed the first date a vision, and a roadmap of expect it.
APRIL FOOLS STORY ANSWER KEY Searching for AD: FACT AD: for Searching Marcus Rich profile: FACT profile: Rich Marcus
Football returns: FICTION returns: Football Truth about math: FACT math: about Truth
Akbar Mohamed arrives: FICTION arrives: Mohamed Akbar News form Wales: FACT FACT Wales: form News
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Sarah/Haley’s opinions: FACT opinions: Sarah/Haley’s How to survive Fools: FACT-ish Fools: survive to How
Adam loves U.S.A.: FICTION U.S.A.: loves Adam David Horn profile: FACT profile: Horn David
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Choir concert held: FACT held: concert Choir Squirrels set to attack: FICTION attack: to set Squirrels
“Marvin’s Room” a hit: FACT hit: a Room” “Marvin’s History dep. canceled: FICTION (duh!) FICTION canceled: dep. History
Kenny McCormick dies: FICTION dies: McCormick Kenny Water pipe breaks: FACT breaks: pipe Water
50k Shades of Grey: FACT Grey: of Shades 50k Amnesty @ CIHSMUN: FACT CIHSMUN: @ Amnesty
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Multi-cultural club running: FACT running: club Multi-cultural Dr. Aper goes “Brovost”: FICTION “Brovost”: goes Aper Dr.
New managers selected: FACT selected: managers New Pool to be restored: FICTION restored: be to Pool
Spanish Club revamps: FACT/VERDAD revamps: Club Spanish Barney Beaver goes rabid: FICTION rabid: goes Beaver Barney
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