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Blackburn College News Student Life ‘Like’ us on ‘Follow’ us Athletics Carlinville, IL Facebook! on Twitter! An academic major Check out next year’s Word on the street is that faces extinction? Find Work Program department Oldest College Newspaper an old program is back out more on page 2. managers on page 5. from the dead... in Illinois, since 1881 Blackburn ’Burnian @BCBurnian ““The ’Burnian” is everything the Midwest is all about. It’s dazzling—it’s exciting! And very, very sexy.” ... goes up in flames for April Fools’! - Gideon Blackburn Vol. 8, No. 4 Apr. 2013 I looked up and saw this figure Barney Beaver coming at me from the tennis Anonymous donor funds Dawes goes rabid! courts. It was moving so fast pool restoration by Kayla Koyne by Taylor Hess I hardly had time to react! I led to the closing of pool growing costs of maintenance, This, coupled with team. for Blackburn to have a swim meet the necessary regulations 25 years. However, it did not open for over and remained in 1982 in Dawes Gymnasium especially in the winter.” friends or for daily exercise, to hang out with used as a place among students. It was often pool was very popular “The Jake Oakwood said that alum intensified. 1985has support for its re-opening Blackburn closure, student the pool’s Blackburn students got into my car as quickly as beware! Several members of possible and locked my door. The pool originally opened As years pass after the campus community have By that time I could see that reported that the beloved it was Barney Beaver, but Barney Beaver has gone something was wrong. He was rabid and is loose on campus foaming from the mouth and attacking anyone he comes growling! It was one of the across! most terrifying things I’d ever seen!” The student was able to drive off uninjured. Later that evening a Blackburn baseball player also deep end!” the drowning in be to time the got I ain’t save me because ready to “I hope someone’s like Reggie Guyton who said, to the relief of some students much lifeguards, include will as well. Jobs available become jobs will New work program students. option for Blackburn soon be an will so a swim team pool. It will meet regulations, a new has been made to build necessary repairs, the decision make than Rather pool. the re-open to developing are plans donor, anonymous from an gift in 2009. encountered the rabid Barney. thanks to a generous Now, “It was around eight o’clock, and I was leaving Dawes after practicing my swing in the gym. As soon as I walked out the side doors I saw Barney running up quick from the Jewell area. His teeth were incredible and he was making the craziest sounds. Once he was in range I started to hit pool! construction begins on our in the upcoming year as updates from “The ’Burnian” hear.’” is being reopened, I say ‘hear As it our noses with chlorine. isn’t drinking and would fill that entertainment year-round training, provide with real-life new jobs more would create “It said, Huddleston Daniel excited. Recent graduate already are students complete, is construction until year a over him with my bat. After he was down on the ground I ran as So look forward to more take will though it Even PHOTO COURTESY OF PR fast as I could to North.” Students are cautioned to call Luckily, nobody has Campus Community and Safety. suffered any bites or injuries; Late night on March 31, a however, students and faculty student who wishes to remain are advised not to approach anonymous was walking to Barney. Instead contact PHOTO COURTESY OF PR Above (and, well, sideways) is the Dawes her car in the DCC parking lot Blackburn’s Campus and pool during its operation years ago, to which when she spotted something Community Safety team to it will soon be restored. off in the distance: “I was report a sighting. Remain trying to unlock my car when vigilant, Blackburn! Dr. Jeff Aper goes from provost to “Brovost” by Michelle Lee on BC’s campus. Instead of Hollister polo shirt with an shaking hands with students upturned collar and a tilted and staff, he regularly employs baseball cap that reads “2 the fist-bump as his greeting of REAL 2 QUIT.” Sometimes choice. He also drives around he likes to switch it up, campus in a new set of low- opting for an Ed Hardy shirt ridin’ wheels, blasting the bass featuring a menacing tiger or in his stereo system so that the skull and crossbones. He says reverberation of Biggie’s “Big the next steps in his lifestyle Poppa” can be felt from any transformation will be a tribal spot on campus. tattoo that spans his bicep His wife Sandy says and a hairstyle that requires a she doesn’t understand what plethora of hair gel. happened. “One morning he For those of you just woke up and ignored the unfamiliar with Dr. Aper’s new bowtie I had laid out for him terminology and lingo, here is the night before. He started a quick glossary, courtesy of talking differently, walking urbandictionary.com: with this weird limp and fly: cool, in style reached for a trucker hat.” homies: crowd of friends That weird limp is what Aper from the street, club or other PHOTO BY KAREN DILLON refers to as “swagga.” He also fist-bump: an alternative to Blackburn’s beloved He now refers to himself as recent interview. Dressing like shaved his facial hair into a a high five or handshake, often Provost Dr. Jeff Aper has “The Brovost.” “The bowtie a twenty-year-old Jersey Shore pencil-thin angular beard that seen in sports ceremoniously ditched his was too stiff and formal. I cast member, Aper believes frames his chin. swagga: one’s own unique signature bowtie and suit couldn’t get down with my he can easily identify with The Brovost can now be style or personality that sets jackets for more “fly” attire. homies,” he admitted in a the young student population seen in his office wearing a them apart from anyone else What’s that? The jig is up? (Okay, you got us!) In honor of April Fools’, we’ve taken pranking to the next level. Read through the issue, guess whether the story is fact or fiction and then consult the answer key on the back page! Readers who correctly judge the most articles win free high-fives from “’Burnian” staff members, and those who correctly guess the least will suffer an eternity in the weight room with NO air fresheners! Upcoming What’s shakin’? Events 2 • The ’Burnian [email protected] April 2013 Water pipe breaks in Jewell Hall, ruins technology services equipment by Traci Kamp On March 4 Technology Services Lab Assistants and Technicians Nathan Wilson and Shane Nalezyty discovered a broken water pipe in the Jewell Hall boiler room after the two were approached by Resident Assistant Shaun Thrasher, who told them that the WIFI was not working. PHOTO COURTESY OF PR High school students participate in the 2013 CIHSMUN. Two switches, which are crucial pieces of equipment Amnesty Rep attends Blackburn- for powering the WIFI, were ruined. PHOTO BY TRACI KAMP by Clayt Scheller The broken water pipe (above) caused quite a mess in Jewell Hall. hosted CIHSMUN After the break was On Thursday, March 7 nine Staub defined the concept discovered, all three students Nalezyty contacted on were ruined and could Illinois high schools attended of human rights in a speech informed Jewell Hall Resident Datacenter supervisor Jason no longer power the WIFI. the twenty-fifth annual Central to those who attended the Director and Director of Cloninger after it was verified Two replacement switches Illinois High School Model meeting. By connecting issues Residence Life Tim Moran. that the WIFI was not working were deployed to remedy the United Nations (CIHSMUN) addressed by the Model UN The students reported that and the break in the pipe situation. Cloninger estimates meeting in Woodson. students to current examples Moran claimed to have heard caused water to leak directly that the unnoticed water break Students from the college of human rights abuse, she rushing water on the underside onto the switches that power caused “hundreds of dollars” led the event. Between 9:15 intends to raise awareness of his floor—the boiler the WIFI in Jewell. in damages to the equipment, a.m. and 2:15 p.m., high of and interest in Amnesty’s room is underneath the RD Cloninger assessed the but it is relatively inexpensive school students representing mission among a large group apartment—for approximately damage to the equipment compared to what could have different countries debated, of well-informed students. three hours but did not and discovered that the two been ruined if the break had composed resolutions and Staub also brought investigate. switches that had been leaked not been reported. worked toward compromise as several of Amnesty’s current actual UN delegates would. campaigns — namely, petitions “We’ve put in lots of work addressing unmanned drone History program canceled, BC community shocked by Katie Ward to mark the occasion,” said strikes and lax international Political Science Professor arms trade regulations—to the In early January this year, applicable major for grad offering diverse and engaging Dr. Mike Bradley regarding group’s attention. rumors began circulating school or the job market,” coursework would encourage CIHSMUN’s twenty-fifth Helping what Staub that the Blackburn College History professor Dr.

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