Cappell, Ezra, and Jessica Lang, Eds. Off the Derech: Leaving Orthodox Judaism
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
Book Review Cappell, Ezra, and Jessica Lang, eds. Off the Derech: Leaving Orthodox Judaism. SUNY Series in Contemporary Jewish Literature and Culture. Albany, NY: SUNY Press, 2020. Reviewed by Sally Berkovic, London, UK. “It’s automatic. I might be eating prawns, but I still say a bracha,” a young woman who grew up in a Haredi family, told an audience at a Limmud conference several years ago. She was explaining the deep-seated behaviours that don’t suddenly necessarily disappear even if one has abandoned a religious lifestyle. Someone else, who grew up in a religious home, but was no longer observant by the time he started dating seriously, explained to why it was so difficult to find a suitable partner. “The problem,” he mused, “is that I want a girl who knows Rashi, but eats treif.” Jews who abandon the religious observance of their childhood are not a new phenomenon. The Enlightenment saw many yeshivah scholars, deeply immersed in Talmudic study and their daily routines framed by prayer and ritual minutiae, leave the religious life. Just read the stories of Jews abandoning their faith in the novels of I.B Singer, Chaim Potok and Chaim Grade. Many of the founders of the State of Israel came from religious homes, and infused with a love of Zion, they wanted to re-establish a Jewish presence in the land. However, with the exception of the religious Zionists, their vision of a Jewish homeland was avowedly secular. However, what is new is the codification of this behaviour as ‘Off the Derech’ – the Derech [lit. Hebrew for ‘path’] being the acceptable norm, the straight path of an Orthodox life committed both to the halacha, but also the social mores of one’s own community, reflected in issues such as its dress codes or attitudes towards secular reading material. It is perhaps the opposite of Flipping Out – a term coined to reflect the process of young modern Orthodox people who become more intense, rigorous and devoted to religious practice, particularly after their yeshivah or seminary ‘gap year’ experience in Israel. Off the Derech, a collection of essays edited by Ezra Cappell and Jessica Lang, offers both a glimpse into the lives of several people who have left the orthodoxy of their youth, and a collection of academic essays reflecting on this sociological phenomenon. Each personal essay could be a book on its own – indeed several of the authors including Shulem Deen, Leah 1 Women in Judaism: A Multidisciplinary e-Journal Volume 17 Number 2 (2020) ISSN 1209-9392 © 2021 Women in Judaism, Inc. All material in the journal is subject to copyright; copyright is held by the journal except where otherwise indicated. There is to be no reproduction or distribution of contents by any means without prior permission. Contents do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors. Book Review Vincent and Leah Lax have written their memoirs and the book includes an excerpt from Lax’s Uncovered: How I Left Hasidic Life and Finally Came Home. For the voyeur, their stories are exotic and other-worldly, offering insights into a sub-culture of Jewish society that is difficult to access and requires insider knowledge to interpret. Some of these stories stand out more than others – partly for the quality of their writing, and partly for the actual trajectory of their life since leaving Orthodoxy. The academic essays are also mixed bag, but they help to contextualise the ‘off the derech’ community within wider trends of Jewish life. They are all extensively footnoted with an expansive bibliography. It is often assumed that family dysfunction or sexual abuse lies behind the decision for someone to go ‘off the derech,’ otherwise, how could it possibly be explained? While there are instances of abuse that precipitate someone’s decision to disavow Orthodoxy, this collection puts paid to that theory as a catch-all explanation as many of the authors are quick to say that they came from warm loving homes. Further, the idea that those who leave Orthodoxy have no interest in Jewish life is sloppy reasoning, as evident by many of the authors in their career choices and ongoing connection to the Jewish community, albeit in a different mode to the way they were raised. Naomi Seidman evokes an observant Jewish home infused with warmth and tradition. While her siblings are still strictly Orthodox, she has continued the legacy of her father’s intellectual pursuits in academia, reflected in her books. Most recently, Sarah Schenirer and Bais Yaakov: A Revolution in the Name of Tradition (Littman Library, 2019) reflects her interest in Jewish studies. Joshua Halberstam appreciates the acquisition of textual knowledge – he grew up in Boro Park, studied at Kollel Chaim Berlin and is now a professor of philosophy at City University of New York – and challenges those who want no part of Jewish life, suggesting that “a total abandonment of your roots would amount to a significant loss for you in your life.” Yeshiva bachur turned philosopher, Mark Zelcer, has many critiques of the Orthodox world, but also suggests that those who leave Orthodoxy are not swapping one sort of life for another, rather, they are adding to it. He moves between worlds “I talk about Xerxex when I speak to my ancient philosophy classes and Achashverosh when I speak with religious people [they are believed to be the same person].” 2 Women in Judaism: A Multidisciplinary e-Journal Volume 17 Number 2 (2020) ISSN 1209-9392 © 2021 Women in Judaism, Inc. All material in the journal is subject to copyright; copyright is held by the journal except where otherwise indicated. There is to be no reproduction or distribution of contents by any means without prior permission. Contents do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors. Book Review Gender can play a role in the decision to leave Orthodoxy: Frieda Vizel grew up in Kiryas Joel, an insular Satmar Hasidic enclave, and aged 25, she left. Often asked to explain why she left, she offers ten reasons, accompanied by clever and whimsical illustrations. She discovers the internet and found the blogs of other Hasidim, “It was a personal earthquake. Who else had secrets?” Leah Vincent’s trajectory is darker. She left orthodoxy as a teenager, and part of her disillusionment was connected to the limitations imposed on women and the community’s expectations. However, she also discovered secular notions of a fulfilled life were not necessarily the answer. Frimet Goldberger, also from Kiryas Joel, discovered Reader’s Digest, aged 16. Life changed forever as she hid romantic novels under her bed. It’s worth reading her chapter to discover the twists and turns of her life, which fortunately for her, includes a husband who left the community with her. Leah Lax has a more unusual story for this collection - she became religious in her teens, eventually married and raised a Hasidic family, but in her mid-40s, left that community. Unlike others who are born into the Orthodox world and rejected by their family when they leave, Lax returns to her non-religious family where she is welcomed with open arms. Lang, in her essay Intimacy in Women’s Off the Derech Memoirs, analyses the themes that characterise this emerging genre and notes that issues of sexuality, niddah, childbearing and the distinct roles expected of women contribute to the decision to leave Orthodoxy. Although Off the Derech focusses on American Jews, Moshe Shenfeld, in The Right to Education, explains the structural difficulties facing Israelis who leave Orthodoxy. For example, the State of Israel has recognised the paucity of a Haredi education, and has recently funded various educations tracks to bridge the gaps to help people into the workforce. However, someone who grew up in the Haredi system, but is no longer Orthodox, cannot access these bridging programs, so remains ill-educated. Shenfeld helped to establish Out for Change in order to address these, and similar other problems. Israelis in Brooklyn have their own chapter: Gabi Abramac looks at a group of former Hasidim who left the Haredi fold in Israel and relocated to Brooklyn between 2011 and 2015. He has called them Shababniks and noted how these formerly frum Israelis have recreated a community abroad, which did not identify with the Americans who were ‘off the derech.’ They are also heavily into Psytrance, something else that distances them from Americans. 3 Women in Judaism: A Multidisciplinary e-Journal Volume 17 Number 2 (2020) ISSN 1209-9392 © 2021 Women in Judaism, Inc. All material in the journal is subject to copyright; copyright is held by the journal except where otherwise indicated. There is to be no reproduction or distribution of contents by any means without prior permission. Contents do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors. Book Review An essay about Footsteps, the organisation established to help those who leave Orthodoxy to navigate the world, gives a helpful overview of the challenges and practical support on offer. It is a testimony to the dedication of its founders and the incredible network of peers who are willing to help those in transition to find their place. Ezra Cappell’s essay, the last in the collection, combines his own personal experiences – including the cruel rabbi who makes Cappell feel responsible for the death of a close friend who died in a house fire – with an analysis of other memoirs and a historical overview of heresy. Off the Derech is a gateway to understanding many of the challenges facing those who leave Orthodoxy, but it also celebrates their achievements. The academic essays are a complement, expanding and offering nuance to what is already a complicated story.