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RABBI MOSHE YOUNG I

PATTERNS IN LIFE - UNDER It was not so long ago that the our lives, are bound to react by searching CONSTANT CHANGE destruction of the World Trade Center for understanding of all this. in New York changed the world. Fear There have been occasions, however, e are so used to admiring stalks the streets of the USA, and many when we were forced by others to con­ beautiful trees and their countries wait with nervous apprehen­ sider our own omissions. "fhis would W changing foliage through­ sion, wondering where the next enemy be induced by a gezeiras shmad (forced out the year, and we anticipate with so attack will happen. The Arab world conversion). Through cruel and harsh much joy the birth of a child after nine portrays a new menacing image which decrees that host nations have issued months of waiting that we find it dif­ will remain with us for a very long against Jews within their realms, Jews ficult to believe that such phenomena time, if not indefinitely, until Moshiach have been obliged to recognize the lack were not the intention of Hashem when comes. of depth of their Torah observance, He created the world. It was only after More recently, natural calamities, which either they had not understood the sin of Man, however, that many trees floods, earthquakes, landslides and hur­ or reflected an air of indifference that lost their ability to produce fruit and to ricanes, out of all proportion to previ­ has permeated Jewish society. remain leafy throughout the year, and ous norms, and with short intervals of Rabbi Dessler 7··~1 speaks about the it was only then that the formation of a respite in between, have begun to haunt direction that non-Jewish despotic child became a protracted and uncom­ the human race. rulers have taken in issuing decrees fortable experience. It is not by human design that such forbidding Torah observance (Michtav There are numerous aspects of our events befall society. Even where evil MeEliyahu 2). Heads of state are only lives to which we have become accus­ intent and activities cause harm to too well aware of the essentials of tomed, and we tend to forget that it is others, and responsibility for the conse­ Jewish existence. They know how to only as a result of disturbances that new quences lies squarely with the predators, hit hard at Jewish religious sensitivi­ patterns emerge. Changes happen over it is not through their initiative that it ties. They know about Shabbos and long periods of time, so that a whole actually takes place. It is pre-ordained, bris milla. So many times have they generation, and even many generations, but the dynamic is" Megalgelim chov al succeeded - and yet other times have accepts situations and forms of conduct yedei chayav. Bad things happen through failed - to halt shechita. They still per­ as if they have always been there. bad people." severe today in many countries. The

' The lives of millions of people have indomitable spirit of Kial Yisroel has RABBI YOUNG, WHO LIVES IN LAKEWOOD, NJ. IS A MP.CHANE/CH, AND A CONTRHIUTOR TO JEWISH been changed by events, and we Jews) constantly resisted these moves, with INTERNATIONAL JOl;RNALS. HE JS ALlTHOR OF especially those of us who breathe the Jews resorting to endless mesiras nefesh I! LAPPi.ES FROM______THE TREE (IS RAEL BoOK SHOP). breath of1brah and mitzvos every day of at all levels. ______, T H E JEWISH 0BSJ-:!{\1Ef{

WHY THE THREATS TO channels for our avoda. He says that the them, but the result has been an increase TORAH LIFE? gentile world in which we live in our of channels in reaching for Hashem. exile fro1n Eretz Yisroel has a share in Haman planned to destroy the Jews, o there are two questions to ask the preservation of Torah, for Hashem, so the festival of Purim opened up a here. Firstly, what is the deeper Who has established the thrones of kings dimension of ecstatic joy in the service Sreason that our enen1ies persist in an1ong thcn1, ordained those leaders of Hashen1. There was a tin1e when the issuing edicts on crucial issues? Secondly, precisely for the purpose of furthering reading of the weekly Sidra was for­ what do Jews gain by bearing the brunt the avoda of Kial Yisroel. "Bi'melachim bidden or curtailed, so the chachamim of such decrees? Rabbi Dessler explains yimloch - It is to project His Will that instituted the reading of the Haftorah. that when Hashern allows a gezeiras they are able to reign:' This is their share The words of the prophets, so apt sh1nad to be enacted, it is Hashen1's way in pron1oting Torah. and admonishing for all time, became of reinforcing our 1nitzvos to which the Many decrees have been made by entrenched in the Shabbos and Yam Tov Jewish soul has becoinc desensitized. 'fhis kings and leaders, says Rav Tzaddok, in service. The berachos before and after does not necessarily mean that mitzvos order to hu1niliatc Jews or even destroy became an opportune statement of the have not been kept at all, but the intensity of observance has all but gone, with the lishn1a, the penilniyus, being taken out of thc1n: "mitzvas anashi1n n1elun1ada - habitual observance." When Jews see that non-Jewish despots have chosen to forbid prime mitzvos on pain of death, and there emerges a sudden awareness by Jews of the great significance of those n1itzvos in the eyes of non-Jews, their sense of observance is revitalized, thus changing their" shelo lishma" to a "lish­ ma," and a merely external and superficial approach to initzvos, "chitzoniyus," to an internal one, with "penimiyus." There is yet another dimension that elevates us to attain a greater closeness THEVORT • The menu for the seuda is 0 0 with Hashem. Chazal have said that .- °The· vbi-i ceieG;ation · 1; ·t0· ·tie limited to 3 courses followed by a troubles are often placed specifically in discontinued. The L'chaim (held at regular dessert. the way of tzaddikim in order to stimu­ the time that the engagement is • No Viennese table and no bar. late them to come even closer to Hashem announced) should also not turn through their prayer. Even those of us into a Vort. THE MUSIC who arc less than tzaddikim are moti­ THE WEDDING vated to seek alleviation from suffering ; i, i:ia~ci· riiii;, ·c0~5;'si ot a·nia~;",,;~;n by extending ourselves in tefilla, so that .- .F.or· ·t;,ri1ca1· tamihes: ·0riiy" "ioo of 5 musicians (one of the musicians our cries of pain reach up to the gates of invited guests may be seated at the may act as a vocalist) or four musi­ Heaven. By expressing our dependence chassuna seuda. (The Guidelines cians and one additional vocalist. upon Hashem through increased devo­ make provision for exceptional • A one-man band is recom­ tion and special assemblies in tin1es of circumstances - see full text.) mended. trouble, we are in essence adding more • The kabbo/as panim smorgas­ forms of avoda to our existing pattern bord should be limited to basic FLOWERS 8r. CHUPA DECOR 0 of tefillos and mitzvos. The fact that we cakes, fruit platters, a modest buf­ ; rtie· iot~·1 ·cosi ·0t" these· iten;5 t~; are permitted to do so indicates that fet, and the caterer's standard the entire wedding should not Hashem has increased our ability to chicken or meat hot dishes. exceed $1,800. seek and re-open channels to call in the Name of Hashem - channels that have FOR THE FULL VERSION OF THE SIMLHA GUIDELINES remained closed since the destruction of the Temple. WITH ITS RABBINICAL ENDORSEMENTS Rav Tzaddok Hakohein 7··,,r ( Tzidkas AND THE ACCOMPANYING KOL KOREH, Hatzaddik 178) speaks about how please call 212-612-2300 decrees of the gentiles have opened up

.._ __ ------·------·__J ,--·······I ------.. -· 0CTOBEH: 2 o o G

by Hashen1, as it were, to correct the maladjustments of man's own perfidy. After the hostile decree has been enforced The adjustments that Hashem makes to 1naintain a balance in the world, despite the enemy eventually disappears, but his the persistent stubbornness of society to portion in Torah has left its mark in the go its own destructive way, is nothing short of miraculous in the full sense of avoda of Klal Yisroel. the word. Today, we are witness to uncanny and hitherto unimagined upheavals both in the political and natural world. Words integrity of the nevi'in1, proclaiming the bidden to say the She1na in public ser­ like "political quagmire" are on the lips eternal message of faith in Hashem by vices. So the chachamim surreptitiously of many. "Global warming" is another his loyal servants. Yet another channel included the Shema in the Kedusha of buzz-word. For those of us who are to Hashem had been opened up in our Shabbos and Yam Tov Mussaf So as we inherently endowed with emuna and journey through galus. shout it out in unison in Na'aritzecha bitaclwn, however, namely, Kial Yisroel, The Gemara (Rosh Hashana 32b) or Kesser yitnu, we extend our glorifi­ is this not the way through which says that originally, the shofar was cation of Hashem by being prepared to Hashe1n has opened yet more and more blown in the morning of Rosh Hashana. live our lives for Hashern, as implied channels for us to ascend Heavenward? Decrees by the non-Jewish authorities in the proclamation of Shema that our The world appears to adjust even amid forbidding blowing of the shofar in the allegiance is with One G-d only. There turmoil. It is an organized chaos with a morning outside the context of tefilla is no other. pattern of a disturbed world emerging. resulted in the chachamim including After the hostile decree has been It is Hashem, however, Who really makes it within the formality of the Mussa[ enforced, says Rav Tzaddok, the enemy adjustments to the chaos we create, and prayers. Although the decree was later eventually disappears, but his portion these adjustments become a catalyst for abrogated, it nevertheless remained part in Torah has left its mark in the avoda our continued spiritual growth. of the Mussa[ service (see Tosafos ibid). of Kial Yisroel. In the meantime, until the world How many extra kavanos and tears, assu1nes its pristine state of Moshiach's caused by hostile decrees, have mingled era, we recognize Hashgachas Hashem with the sound of the shofar during THE MIRACULOUS DYNAMICS even within our imperfect world. We Mussa[ throughout the generations, TOWARD CHANGE become aware of new fears and new which wended their way to Shamayim images, both political and geophysical, along channels which our enemies had o much has changed in the life of which lie on- and beyond -the horizon. wanted to detach from Kial Yisroel .. .. the world since Hashem created Yet, out of this chaos, real and imagi­ There was a time when Jews were for- Sit. There is the ongoing desire nary, we will emerge even stronger, as we recognize that Hashem is constantly opening for us so many new directions and outlets, even those which appear painful, in order for us to co1ne closer to Him through siyatta diShemaya. E SELECTION OF Would it not be better, though, if added opportunities created by our BORSi\.llNO Hi\.TS! enemies to increase the number and We Also Carry intensity of our tefillos could be avoided? Expert fitting • Courteous service Brand Name Perhaps we may hope that the share that Individualized attention •Hat cleaning & Shirts & Ties, for our enemies have in strengthening our Big & Tall as "Well, Torah observance is now completely Renovating • Follow-up care long after sale af Discount Prices exhausted so that all the tefillos we "-1, have today, with all the historical addi­ tions, are sufficiently comprehensive to provide us with the deepest level of ~~~~*~1 devotion and complete faith in Hashem, so that He will protect us in all circum­ stances and in every situation that could ever possibly arise. ano all tbose injureo, civilians ano so[oiers1 ouring tbe recent war i / wben p recite this bracba • lUi'Gli'1' ------i 1n pr pra-pers_ ------_____ ! 'i GllAll Ul~N A\'IVA \ '1 \ '

SHJ\J,11' _!'

lllll'li'll

UON HEN HAll' A

"... Hashem supports the faflen 1 heals tbe sic~ frees tbe captives ..."

November 21, 1984:Jonathan Pollard ,JONA'[IIAN rou~UUl ~ Jonathan Pollard, indicted on one count of passing information to an a!ly (Israel} without intent to harm the United States, began his life sentence prison term. Visit www.jonathanpollard.org for more information UAJ'Z June 11, 1982: Zacharia Baumel, Zvi Feldman, Yehuda Katz Baumel, Feldman and Katz went missing during a battle with Syrian and Palestinian forces at Sultan Yakub in eastern Lebanon. Z\'I UEN t>NINAII October 16, 1986: Ron Arad I 1 Arad,an air force navigator, was captured after his plane was downed over YllffONA'l'AN J Lebanon. ------BllN HAI.KAii _ August 17, 1997: Guy Hever Hever disappeared without a trace while serving in the Golan Heights. 111,nMAN June 25, 2006: Gilad Shalit 1.Af:HiUllA SllLOHO Shalit was wounded and kidnapped by Hamas fighters who crossed into Israel from DEN MllUAM Gaza through a tunnel under the Kerem Shalom border crossing. r· ------

July 12, 2006: Ehud Goldwasser and El dad Regev Reservists Goldwasser and Regev were kidnapped by Hizballah whle they were on a rourme patrol along the Lebanese border.

HAUMlll. A Community Awareness Project of the National Council of Young Israe 212-929-1525 [email protected] www.youngisrael.org -----·~-- ---

OCTOBER 2 0 0 6

RABBI CHAIM MOSHE STAUBER

A WOUND NOT HEALED health, the pain for us of his passing is Yisroel is baruch Hashem blessed with BY TIME still severe and throbbing. The loss is the unprecedented resurgence of Torah particularly painful for those of us who and Chassidus, both in the Diaspora hey say that time heals all wounds. were fortunate to be close to him. The and in Bretz Yisroel, we nevertheless lag Not so with the deep gash of hav­ huge void created by his absence will sadly behind in the emergence of such T ing lost our Rebbe, a true manhig not easily be filled. figures. After all, it took more than 91 Yisroel who was one of a handful who As long as the Rebbe was alive, our years to produce such a Rebbe. Besides were left from pre-War Europe. Passage youth had an authentic glimpse into all the decades of limud ha Torah coupled of time only makes us realize how pro­ the past. His hadras pannim - a patri­ with avodas Hashem that the Rebbe had found our loss really is. archal face and demeanor that spoke amassed bikedusha vetahara (in sanctity Although the Rebbe lived to an volumes - reminded us of the previous and purity), his body had also become advanced age of 91, .and for Rebbe, as well as of other tzaddikim sanctified and elevated as a result of ber_

personal tragedy and suffering that it camps for brutal treatment,beafirigs ari hacl t\lrriecl l11ariy ordinary sutvl~ors can be said that he hardly had a good punishment. They murdered his young into holy beings - prominent among day in his life. wife and three children, and his brothers them, the Rebbe. The Rebbe told us how he had been and sisters and their families, including singled out by the Nazis in forced-labor his older brother Reh Zalman Leib 1"'11 7"Yl, Sigheter Rav, who was taken to the IN A CRADLE OF KE DUS HA RABBI STAUBER JS A IAf.MTD OF THE PREV!Ol'S gas chambers together with the entire · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · • • · REBBE, AND WAS 70CH1" TO BE CLOSE TO BOTH transport from Sighet - the old and the The Rebbe was born in Ratzfert, REBBES. fOR MANY YEARS HE SERVED AS TllE very young Yidden from his kehilla. He Hungary, where his maternal EDJTO!~ OF JJt;R YfD, ANU A Kl.AL ASKAN WHO, AMONG OTIJF.R CAUSES, IJAO FOUNDED PESACH refused to part with them during the grandfather, Hagaon Reb Shulem T!KVAH - A NON-PROFIT MENTAL HEAl.l"!I AGENCY "selection,'' and was sent "to the left" al Eliezer Halberstam , .. ,,., 7""1 had lived. IN \\'JLL.lAMSBl'RG. kiddush Hashem. Such suffering alone The Belzer Rebbe Reb Yissachar Ber

10 .._ ___ ------, . _J - Tl-IE JEWISH OBSERVER -----, r-=··· ------·-'· ... - I ! Rokeach ?"~I, who lived in Ratzfert Rav '>"lll) and the Biksader Rebbe ?"~1, Rebbe and had many tens of thou­ due to World War I, was his sandak. had stood in awe before the Rebbe even sands of Yidden ( bli ayin hara) as his I Young Moshe was rather weak from before he was bar mitzva. Chassidim in the Satmar Kehillas world- birth, and apparently, that was one of The Rebbe recalled how he had wide, he continued to conduct himself the reasons he was named after the im1nersed himself in learning l'orah, with modesty and incredible humility. Yismach Moshe. The Rebbe remembered his father putting him to sleep in his sefarim shtieb (library), where he personally kept vigil over him. There, he observed and In addition to being a gadol baTorah absorbed his father's avadas hakodesh, leaving an indelible impression on his vehora' a, and one of the most prominent 11esha1na. rabbanim of the she' eiris hapleita, Many years ago, the Rebbe himself told this writer of the special bonding with a vast knowledge and experience in and feeling of closeness between himself kashrus, shechita, mikvaos, dinei Torah, etc., and his famed father, Hagaon Hakadash Reb Chaim Tzvi 1 ?"~I (known in the he was outstanding in his ahavas Yisroel. Chassidishe world as the Atzei Chaim, after his sefer). The Rebbe was not yet 12 years of age when he was orphaned from both his parents; yet, he had already been blessed with a unique capacity for When someone had pointed out to the recognized as being especially bright and memorizing, while striving to plumb the Rebbe that it was not in keeping with sincere - an cn1erging taltnid chachan1 depths of every inyan (topic) he learned. his kavod that the Rebbe's gabbai- Reb whose exceptional hasn1ada in Torah It \vas for his erudition in 'lbrah and Moshe Friedman - be called at the study and total in11nersion in avodas exceptionally refined middas that his tisch by the same name as the Rebbe Hashem foretold greatness. family was resolved to keep him in the ("Moshe"), his answer was: "1'his way fold, and thus arranged that he marry I arn reminded what my real name is .... his first cousin, the daughter of his IN THE VIEW OF OLDER uncle, the Sassover Rebbe, Hagaon Reb Boruch S., a nephew of mine in CHASS I DIM Henoch Mayer?"~! (son-in-law of the the hosiery import business, had Keduslws Yomtov, Reb Lipa Teitelbaum an entire shipment of merchandise y father, Reb Yecheskcl '>"~!).Thus, the previous Rebbe, Reb Yoe! from Europe impounded by U.S. Menachem ben Reb Shlomo Teitelbaum '>"~t, was his uncle from two Customs. The customs agent told M Tzvi ?"1, who passed away a sides. He also \Vas his spiritual mentor, him that due to tighter scrutiny little over a year ago at age 92, was a and related to him like a father. in this post-Sept. 11, '01 era, it shochct and n1ahel in Antwerp for close As the Rebbe himself had said at his would take considerably more time to 30 years. During the last 20 years of hesped for the previous Rebbe, calling than before until they released the his life, he lived in Williamsburg, where out: "Avi! Avi' - I can justifiably cry goods. This was a terrible blow to he was an ardent Chassid of the Rebbe. out from the bottom of my aching and him and his business, and he was although he was the Rebbe's senior. He sorrowful heart: My father! My father! facing a substantial loss. He went described how many older Rebbe'im, - T'wice! When n1y father passed away, to the Rebbe and told him his pre­ like the Nasuder Rav '>"~t (who had l was still a young child, and I grew up dicament. The Rebbe responded: been a staunch Chassid of the Sanzer under the guidance and influence of my "What do you think I can do holy uncle, who was like a loving father more than you? All I can do is be i------i::f{~-tat-hC_i_\~S.... thc-dd~StS0~1 ai1~f~,,~-c-ces-;-;~i: to me all through the years. Now I a1n mispalleil and say a little Tehillim. to the Kedushas Yo1nto11 (R·abbi Chanaya Yonltov orphaned fro111 both.,,." But that you, too, can do. So let Lipa, Rav in Sighet, Ron1ania). He, in turn, I was the son of the Yciteiv !riv (Rabbi Yekusicl In addition to being a gado baTorah us both daven, and may Hashem Yehuda), who w<1s the son of Reh Eluzor Nissan vehora'a, and one of the most prominent help you:' 7":n, Rav of f)rohbitch, only son of the Yis111ach rabbanim of the she' eiris hapleita, with The next day, his broker called Moshe. The Yisnrnch A1oshe himself had attested a vast knowledge and experience in Boruch to inform him that of all to the special keduslw they had inherited, saying kashrus, shechita, nlikvaos, dinei Torah, the impounded containers, only i that his forebears for ten generations back were all great talniidci cfwduunim and ineticulously etc., he was outstanding in his ahavas his was released. j L tzadd1k"" . -----·---~ -· ·- -Yisroel. Even~he~he. was~e .. Satmar·- 11 . ·----·--- --··---·"'-- c_·-··· -----, OCTOBER 2 0 0 6 ·-1

I When the previous Rebbe was anav 1ne' od - And the man Moshe was Volover Rav i~'il ':"':::it't, who bore him taken from us on that dark day very modest" (Bamidbar 12,3). three daughters and four sons. of 26 Av, 5739/1979, we were all In 1938, he was selected as rav of For close to forty years, the Rebbe was devastated. A gnawing feeling of a Zenia, Yugoslavia .... Eight years later, known as the Sigheter Rav, successor to bitter spiritual void prevailed, and having barely survived Auschwitz, he the Sighet dynasty. Throughout the four deprived us of the security that was drafted to be the rav of Sigh et by the decades following World War II (when we would lead our lives in accor· surviving remnants and agreed to help he had lost his first family) the Rebbe dance with Torah and Yiddishkeit. rebuild the city of his forefathers from was perfectly satisfied with a limited Many of us felt like survivors felt the ruins of the war. A skeleton figure, income to support his second family. after Auschwitz, terribly shaken, he had been ravaged by the Nazis, who Fron1 his modest-sized beis midrash, and contemplating how we might had mercilessly starved him and beaten small yeshiva, and old.fashioned, simple manage to go on. Where does him so savagely that he was many times residence in Brooklyn - first on Hewes one experiencing difficulty having very close to the end. Miraculously, Street in the Williamsburg section of children go for a yeshua, and to he survived, and Hashem helped him Brooklyn, and later in Bora Park - he whom does one turn to ensure a regain enough physical strength and will continued to be a rnarbitz Torah ve'yiras parnassa? There are many stories power to ensure that the several scores Shamayim, just as he had in pre-war about how the Rebbe served as the of saved Yidden who had returned to Europe. And he continued giving shi­ good shaliach to bring Yidden their Sighet would survive spiritually, as well. urim (lectures) and farhern (examina· needed salvation. Let us cite one of After two years, due to the advent of tions) as long as his health permitted. numerous stories whose authentic­ Communism, the Rebbe immigrated He davened with hishtafchus hanefesh ity this writer can vouch for: to the U.S. (pouring out his soul), his voice often They were married for close While still in Europe, he had mar­ resembling that of the previous Rebbe to 10 years and the doctors were ried a Teitelbaum cousin, the current ':>":

Besides, my father 7·:.r also had a gabbai who was na1ned lleb Nachum Hersh, like him ...."

IN THE PATHWAYS OF HUMILITY

hen the Torah extolls Moshe Rabbeinu, it does not cite his W traits of holiness, knowledge or extre1ne devotion to his flock. Rather, I the Torah praises him: "Veha'zsh Moshe 12:_ THE JEWISJ-1 OBSERVER

an ordinary Shabbos, not to 1nention Kolle! Shomrei Hachomos - Reb Meir Rebbe was officially named Satmar Ya1nin1 Tovin1 and, most particularly, Baal Haness; Keren Hatzola; Rav Tov Rebbe. There were times when his very on the Ya1nin1 Nora'in1? Or his ethereal International Rescue Organization; authority faced challenges from within dance during hakafos, very much like Yeshivas Yetev Lev in Yerushalayim; and without, but the same siyatta diSh­ the previous Rebbe. The depth of his Yeshivas Maharit in Bnei Brak; and maya that had accompanied his uncle drashos and divrei Torah when conduct­ scores of Satmar institutions in the U.S., assisted this Rebbe, as well. He, too, was ing a tisch can readily be seen in his Sefer London, Belgium, and Canada, with rach kekoneh vekasheh ke'erez (flexible Beirach Moshe. untold numbers of Yiddishe kinderlach as a reed, strong as a cedar tree) and As Sigheter Rav, he was content to - boys and girls - receiving an exan1p­ was na'hn halichos, sweet and pleasant live in the shadow of his illustrious uncle lary chinuch al taharas hakodesh. with people. and rnentor, Rabbeinu Yoel Teitelbau1n. When the previous Rebbe was niftar, Despite his subdued style and gentle They n1aintained a very close relation­ the entire Torah world was shaken. manner, he did not shy away from ship, and it became quite apparent that Many did not believe that Sat mar would leading battles against 1neharsei hadas the previous Rebbe, having had no survive. It took a full year until the (violators of sacred tradition) and her- surviving children of his own, wanted his nephew to succeed hin1. i"D:l 1'1N~ lW17l1T'I l1ll~l'.l lll'i'7 "1'1Ntl l'li'" l11~tl While the previous Rebbe was still KINYAN HA:ARETZ ASSOCIATION PRESENTS AN alive, the Sighter Rav sought to preserve a vibrant Yiddishkeit for posterity. This 1 1 writer was present at a 1neeting in the offices of the Hisachdus Harabbonim 0•P0,RTU1~•1n (Central Rabbinical Congress), of which the old Rebbe was nasi (president) a j and the Beirach Moshe the segan nasi (vice-president). Even though his awe LEASE LAND I~ ERETZ YISRAEL for his uncle was re1narkable, and he AND MORE THAN TWENTY Kinyan Ha'aretz Association hardly said one word without being MITZVOTH THAT YOUVE NEVER ':---ptomotes the fulfillment of the YET FULFILLED WILL BE YOURS!!! itnoth pertaining to Eretz called upon, at this n1eeting discussing Kinyan Ha'aretz Association is offering .•Srael with the blessings and kashrus, the Rebbe was adamant about an opponunity that just cannot be llidance of Gedolei Yisroel. the need to train rabbaninz, dayaniin, missed: lease a plot-of agrlcultuf-al land in lsrael and vve will db the:restlj shochtim, and other klei kodcsh for the We v.iill cultivate th"e plot of,land next generation. Jn fact, he demanded for you and act as your _Ha1achic that the Satmar Kehilla set the example representat1VeS-ro fulfilLall thf:_.Spe_ m1tzvoth that can be fulfilled 0 · by hiring a dayan. Soon after that, by one who owns -I arid jn_ Et_e the current rash bcis din of the main Yisrael -:-_,more'than-twerlty · · · Satmar Kehi/la, Rabbi Yisroel Chaim mitzvotl1 in a111 -. Menashe Friedman N"\:n7w, who until Two great optloris fo:·acq-u1;:e your piece of land_;_.'-;_:;:;<_-­ then was the rash yeshiva of the Sighet DAGAN wheai . Yeshiva in Boro Park, became the Sat1nar farmer.:-$50 per ye' Dayan in Williamsburg, and Rabbi -for a five.year lease, Gctzel Berkowitz N"'V'7v was engaged TIROSH· grape as l)ayan in Kiryas Yoel-Monroc. farmer - $ 72 per year a fiVe~year lecise, Ptkes _gtl_Od until Jariuary 1., 2 *Jn zlddition to al! of the Mitzvoth FOLLOWING Hts UNCLE'S lfltluded in DAGAN, TIROSH adds More Mlti\IOth:-reret and·:o11e10ffi.: LEADERSHIP

t gatherings of the Hisachdus Harabbonim, be would be A seated next to his uncle, and in 1nost cases, was also one of the first speakers. When he became Satn1ar Rebbe, he ascended to the presidency of that rabbinic body, as well as of

LEida-Hachare1dis 111 Yer~halay11n; - .. -----~ .. - ---· -~------.... ------

0CT0 BER 2006 ~---~------=== ······=-i

! etics, wherever they may have been. The Rebbe felt it his responsibility to wage milchama LaShem baAmaleik midor dor with the same vigor and fire as the !IAUlH. previous Rebbe. Whenever he deemed a response or a public demonstration Child Development Specialists imperative, the Rebbe sent out his Helping Infants & Toddlers troops. Soon after he became Satmar Rebbe, with Developmental Delays and Disabilities a serious threat to the very existence of the Eida Hachareidis arose. The Rebbe took on the source of this challenge " with a fury and an all-out response that was unlike anything expected from kinarcJa&Bic him, since he had not engaged in such fierce battles in the past. Many had been A family Hotel stunned, including this writer. When I on the Kinueret shore said to the Rebbe that people are sur· prised at his vehemence, he answered, "I Summertime -and the Kinneret's soothin~ had no choice, for two reasons: Number waters await you. Springtime - the flowering one, that was the only way to save the green Calif. In autumn, pamper yourself in Eida Hachareidis. Number two, I am the northern hot springs. Wintertime, now the Satmar Rebbe, and no longer n1arvel at the Golan's sparkling strean1s. Get the Sigheter Rav ... :' to know Israel fron1 a new perspective each season - on a vacation that is a co111plete During the Rebbe's last trip to experience. Co1nc to the Kinar Classic. Bretz Yisroel in 5754, I was part of Evaluation and a full range of Wann lsroe/i atmosphere his entourage. While in Bnei Brak, Therapeutic Services provided family meals mth high stamlanl of Kashmt he visited prominent gedolei Torah; at our Center or in the privacy Cmwenient to all northem region l1Jlnist sites I was present when Hagaon Harav Shach ., .. ,., paid him a return visit. It of your home Beach on the Kinneret * Gyn1 * Sauna was quite moving to see Rabbi Shach, Bilingual Services Available *Jacuzzi Clu7dren S Activities * Sports grounds a frail old man, continually sighing Services are provided based on the child's needs for reservations: 972-4-673-8822 deeply and saying to the Rebbe: as determined by the t-t'YC Early Jntervention "Satmar Rebbe, ich hob moireh az Program. The Early Intervention Official will www.kinar.co.il s'vet kumen a tzeit ven Yidden shorn- determine the location and provider of any needed services. This Earlv Intervention Program is funded & regulated I)y the NYC Dept. ofHealth & Mental Hygiene. ... in memory Uncle Moishy, Dedi A of a loved one Avrohom Fried, rA(j merits them Executive Offices: 0 and other leading GEMH H eternal 649 Thirty-Ninth Street f .,.. • • • pleasantness Jewish entertainers .l.rUAIY and light to are available Brooklyn, New York 11232 the soul in Gan Eden." to visit Queens Office: FUND... (Chafetz Choim) seriously ill 70-14 14/st Street To establish a perpetual Memorial or Honorary Fund at children one of our 31 branches across Eretz Yisroel, contact: Flushing, New York 11367 ~I~CHAS CHAVA ,;-._~ .i nmn1~ ·~' · · ·· OZER DALIM n"v :i~ ., m rnn L ~~·.,. SERVING BROOKLYN, QUEENS, tl1'7T ,Tll1 AChcssed project run by 1301 Avenue K, Agudath Israel of America STATEN ISLAND & MANHATTAN Brooklyn, NY 11230 in conjunction with (718) 434-2228 Suki & Ding Productions i iii! To set up an appointment, call: , ', www.challenge-ei.com Ozerl>alim (212) 797-9000 Ext.235

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<&,o do rn<-m i r-~ fo~ ro<~< -A~.:~e:~c-·,-·~:~-s--:::~ •- Amidst all his suffering in - l am afraid there may come a time · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · the Nazi forced-labor camps, it when Torah-observant Jews will no ur loss with the passing of this was astounding how he clung longer be able to live here!" Rebbe ., .. ,,, is profound and dev­ to emuna she/eima in Hashem, The Rebbe put his hand on that 0 astating. During the 26 years­ and constantly encouraged other of Rabbi Shach with affection to plus since the petira of the VaYoel Moshe inmates to recite the Thirteen tkarei reassure him, that he need not be ':>"~!(the name of his sefer) - when the Emuna (Principles of Faith). He dav­ so concerned because Hashem had Beirach Moshe succeeded him as the ened and learned with his fellow vowed to us that He will not forsake Satmar Rebbe - it miraculously see1ned inmates by heart at every oppor­ us .... rfhat was an exchange one does to a large degree that the old Rehbe were tunity. It was amazing to what not easily forget. still alive. Not only did he resemble and degree he constantly reminded Rabbi Moshe Sherer':>"~! told me sound very much like his uncle, it was as his listeners, even during his final the following: He had visited the if he had also inherited a great measure days, that bi'as Hamashiach was Rebbe, as Sighter Rav, and invited of his spiritual prowess as a po'eil yeshuos. imminent. Whenever the classic him to grace the dais at an upcom­ (The Rebbe, of course, ascribed every­ "Ani Ma'amin Be'emuna She/eima ing National Convention of Agudath thing to the ko'ach hashpa'a [influence] Bevras Hamashiach" was sung, his Israel of America. Rabbi Sherer was of the previous Rebbe, saying: "It's all the face changed colors as he shed accompanied by a handful of people, ko'ach of my holy uncle. 1 do not delude tears. Perhaps his profound emuna one of whom davened regularly in myself. 1 know it's so!") was his greatest mofeis (miracle). the Sigheter Beis Midrash in Boro The recurring theme at every gather­ Park. After Rabbi Sherer made his ing was the need for every Chassid to request, the Rebbe pointed to this remember: "Ein lanu shiyur rak haTorah my conduct? We must weigh everything mispalleil, saying with a broad smile: hazois- We have nothing left except this we conte1nplate and do against what the "Even if I am not at the convention Torah;' and only through learning and Rebbe ., .. ,,, would have wanted us to do myself, I do have a shaliac/1 (personal keeping mitzvos in the authentic fashion in a situation like this:' emissary) there ...." we have inherited from our forefathers His legacy to us is the manner in Rabbi Sherer retorted: "If it's will we survive in this land .... On many which he kept this sacred charge alive, a question of having the Rebbe's occasions, the Rebbe intoned, "We each demanding, and teaching us by his shaliach present at the convention, must always remember and think: What inspiring example, how to respond to then I can fill that role:' would the Rebbe ':>"Oil have said regarding this challenge. lliJ

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CHANA NESTLEBAUM THE FORTY YEARS' DIFFERENCE

e live in a unique period of history. Never before have there been masses of Jews who I W have grown up completely severed from any 1neaningful connection to Judaism. Not only are the fundamental skills and education missing, but The even the simple emotional bonds that endow a person with a sense of belonging to the Jewish people have been effectively dissolved in the melting pot. Fifty years ago, when I was growing up, 111ost of the older generation had some connection to authentic Yiddishkeit. l remember my mother light­ Kirov ing three brass candlesticks on Friday night, just as her mother did. I recall driving with my parents to the city from our suburban home to buy meat at the kosher butcher shop. The sawdust on the floor and the big roll of white paper on the counter remain Puzzle snapshots in 111y mind. My grandparents still lived in the city, off of Blue Hill Avenue, which for decades was the throbbing center of Jewish life in Boston. When we visited on Sundays, 1ny grandfather, whom we called "Papa;' would take us to the Franklin Park Zoo. On the way, we'd be i1nn1ersed in Jewish life as we passed the kosher shops and observed the elderly Jews strolling the avenue. Because it \Vas Sunday, there was always some chal­ lah left over from Shabbos. Even though we didn't have challah on our own table, it was there - a vestige of Shabbos - in our lives. On the way home, we would son1etimes run into Mr. Lakin, the sherbet vendor. He was 111y vision of an Old World Jew. With his long, grizzly white beard and gentle smile, he would scoop out some creamy, pastel-colored ices into a pleated paper cup and hand it to me carefully, as if it might break. ------MRS. NESTLEBAUM IS TllE EDI rORIA!. D!IH:C'f()R FOi~ 00RAI! KIRl'V RECl!OKIM, LAKEWOOD, NJ, SHE \\/AS MOST RECENTLY REPRESENTED IN THIS PAGES W!TJI "LOST AND Fo11No," OCT. "04. i ------_J T 1-1 E JEWISH 0BSERVEI~ --"·------"·-----·------"------__,, ______·.-·····=l I PAPA'S SPECIAL WORLD only have the children growing up today kiruv today. In order to foster a complete never heard a word ofYiddish, their parents Jewish identity, the person involved in kiruv apa always wore a baseball cap. I didn't have never heard one, either. They are two must supply more than one part of lhe pic­ reali7..e it at the tin1e, but that was his or three generations re1noved from the last ture. Learning alone won't do it. E1notions Pyannulke for lhe public arena. He had Shabbos candles to grace the family's dining alone won't carry the person all the way. other secrets as we11. 1bere was a pile of enve­ room table. If they eat something kosher, Neither will Torah-observant friends and lopes on a desk in an unused back bedroom. it's almost surely by accident. If they have neighbors, nor a particular rabbi or shul. They were printed with bold-faced Hebrew a Jewish education, it's just enough to get For Torah observance to become so1neone' s letters and photos of bearded old men in through a bar or bat mitzvah, and then life, it must provide him with everything rabbinical garb. Who were all these rabbis, get on with life. life requires. and why were !hey contacting Papa? It was How, the Torah-observant world won­ But kiruv has to start somewhere. Many his world, and even though we didn't know ders, can such assi1nilatcd people ever come kiruv organizations work at finding those n1uch about it, we knew it existed. back to Judaism? An authentic Jewish iden­ dusty, neglected puzzle pieces hidden tmder When Pesach came around, we'd drive tity is like a puzzle, composed of many the rug. Once the neshama is unearthed to Bubbi's and Papa's house forlhe Sedarim. interlocking pieces. There is the emotional and touched by the loving concern of a fel­ My sister, brolher and I would race up piece that connects to home and family life, low Jew, the picture can begin to take shape. the stairs to their second-story apart- the intellectual piece tliat is forged in yeshiva Something needs to draw out the neshama, 1nent, bursting to display our new haircuts, and Bais Yaakov, the social piece developed to help the person feel its presence and clothes and shoes to our faithfully admir­ wilh peers in school, at shul and in the com­ understand what it is. That "something" ing grandparents. We were surely, in their munity, and most importantly, the spiritual might be a taste of Torah learning through eyes, tlie most beautiful children that G-d piece of !he puzzle-the joy felt by a person's Partners in Torah, an inspiring Shabbaton ever placed on earth. Somehow, the excite­ neshamawhen he learns Hashem'sTorah or with Discovery or Gateways, a thought­ ment carried us through Papa's hurried speaks to Hashem in tefilla. provoking article on Aish.com, a visit to but complete rendition of the Hagadda, Fifty years ago, there were enough the campus Chabad House, or a Birthright pronounced in a Livtish accent that was pieces left to make a picture, although the trip to Israel. It might be a Shabbos meal at foreign to our ears. He would bea1n as allegiance to Torah and halacha - the glue the next-door neighbor's house. we, with our elementary Hebrew school that holds it all together-was missing. But Kiruv has to start somewhere. ~fhe education, would correct him. "Tow-rah, a Jew growing up in the secular world today question is, where does it go fro1n Papa. Not Tei-reh:' As we walked out to has just one of these pieces- a neshama that there? our car in the silence of the night, the air yearns to connect to Hashem. It is often seemed spookily saturated with angels and buried so deeply that he doesn't even know prophets and all the supernatural beings we it's there. If it were a puzzle piece, it would SEALING THE CRACKS had spent the night imagining. be the one that had been kicked under the rug. It's there, but where? cording to a Rabbi Tzvi Aryeh Yoffe, Kiruv Director of Oorah, GENERATIONS REMOVED Lakewood-based organization, THE PUZZLE's MISSING PIECES founded by Rabbi Chaim Mintz, many ast forward fifty years. Today's people who set out to seek their Jewish An1erican Jewish fu1nilics are two is n1etaphor - a puzzle niissing identity eventually abandon the journey. For even three generations ren1oved !most all its pieces - describes the While they may be enriched by what fro1n those Kodachrome memories. Not Tichallenge facing those working in they've experienced, and may even be

• Each Daf is read, translated, and explained slowly and clearly in just 20 minutes

(416) 782-1462 [email protected] (416) 781-9116 face to face workshops OCTOBER 2006 -····=-ii saved from intermarriage because of it, Monmouth branch of the school, located know this is something they won't find they do not ultimately adopt a life of in Manalapan, NJ, says that much of this in public school." Torah and mitzvos. extra dimension is provided by teachers, Working with the parents is also para­ "People fall through the cracks;' he who are chosen for both their teaching mount in fostering success with the chil­ explained. "The most successful cases talents and their commit1nent to nurtur­ dren. One way in which Sholom does are those in which someone is working ing their students' growing commitment this is by giving due consideration to the closely with the family, dealing with the to Torah. priorities with which the secular parents entire kiruv process." "The most important component of enter the system. A kiruv-oriented school, such as the kiruv is nothing that's done overtly;' says "We have to provide excellent secular Sholom Torah Academies in New Jersey, Rabbi Lapa. "It's the relationships, the studies;' says Rabbi Lapa. "That is what a understands clearly the need to provide interactions. When teachers are genuine family is looking for-the greatest oppor· 1nore than a classroom seat. and sincerely care about the children, tunity for their child to be successful in Rabbi Eli Lapa, principal of the Western the parents sense it immediately. They the 'real world: And since they recognize financial and social status as success, we have to provide a program that gives them confidence that their children will be able to attend Harvard and Yale." It hurts On the other end of the balance, efforts must be made to help the parents adopt 1oc n1ore 'forah-oriented priorities. Sholom at one time offered its own adult education classes, but now refers its parents to classes given by Torah Links, part ofBeis Medrash Govoha's Gesher outreach program. Oorah understands that those parents who have taken the giant step of enrolling • their children in yeshiva or day school often find themselves in the difficult situation of being unable to help their children with the simplest of assignments. Therefore, it offers the option of at -home learning by phone or in person. It hurts While parent education is an essential piece of the puzzle, some kiruv experts point out that referrals to various com­ n1unity resources are effective only when there is follow-up. "For instance, what if the parents don't like the program you send them to?" says Oorah spokesman Rabbi Yoffe. "Do they come to you and It feels better just to talk about it. That's tell you, or do they just quit, and you find why we're here. Our staff is made up of out about it months later? caring and sensitive individuals. Together, "The problem can also evolve the other we can help you explore your options. We can refer you to recognized professionals way around. Say the parents get inspired for counseling, legal advice or help in and try to become religious, and they finding a safe environment. We can also decide to send their child to yeshiva. But put you in touch with some very special Rabbis. But in order for us to reach out to what if that yeshiva doesn't work out for you, you must first reach out to us. the child? Is there anyone the parents can Confidential Hotline turn to for advice, or will they just put the 1.888.883.2323 child back into public school?" (Toll Free) There are hundreds of other scenarios, 718.337.3700 as well, that can cause the kiruv process (NYC Area) Do it for yourself. to fizzle. A person may want to become Do it for your children. Shalom Task Fore

····-······----····-·······--···-······ -·- ~-·-···-··· ·----·· -~--.. to religious families who co1ne to be part camp. Or they were going to camps that of the experience. were Jewish but not Orthodox. There were It is equally vital that Yam Tovbe made no frum camps set up especially to deal meaningful, especially to children who are with kids from non-frum homes:' enrolled in yeshiva and learning about the As vital as all these aspects of kiruv laws and rituals as each season approaches. are, the most vital piece of the puzzle, For this reason, Oorah builds sukkos for its especially when working with children, is families and runs Chol Hamoed trips for their success in Torah learning. It is there, the children. Shalom keeps school open as well, that great potential for difficulty for Chol Hamoed Sukkos. arises, especially if a child starts school «We stay open for two reasons:' says later in his career. For children fro1n reli­ Rabbi Lapa. "One is that our parents gious homes, there would very seldom, if are going by a secular calendar. If the ever, be a thought of removing the child

Torah;' says an experienced kiruv volun­ teer. "People think of kiruvas the dramatic Kiruv must help Jews find transformation, the guy who cuts off his pony tail and puts on a yarmulke. But comfort, warmth and friendship there are many people walking around among their own people in black bats or sheitels, who are not quite there yet. They need a lot of support, for a long time, and that is the real, unglamor­ ous, day-to-day work of kiruv:' children didn't have school, it would from the yeshiva system if he were not present them with a major problem. But succeeding. But for children who have more importantly, if we didn't bring the already been in public school and whose REPLICATING GROWING children to school, most of them would parents do not yet understand the value Ur FRUM have no chance to sit in a sukka or shake of what their children are receiving in a lulav and esrog:' yeshiva, that idea can seem like a much at goes into this type of more realistic alternative. ong-term kiruV?"Think about Therefore, another key aspect of kiruv W growing up religious;' says SUMMER BACKSLIDE is to conduct regular, systematic follow­ Rabbi Yoffe. "Think about everything that · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · up, visiting families, calling parents and goes into raising a Jewish child. You have Most d1ildren coming from secu- making sure that problems are resolved, rebbei'im and teachers. You have grand- lar homes live in non-religious lest the child or his parents be soured on parents, aunts and uncles that might take neighborhoods, making it dif- Jewish education. the children for a Shabbos or bring them ficult for them to develop appropriate on a Chol Hamoedtrip. You have rabbanim social ties outside school. Their parents and relatives you might ask for advice. may not worry at all about the backslid- THE LAST WORD You can,t even begin to take into account ing the old friends and neighborhood can · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · the network that a religious person has at cause. In fact, they may be happy to see Beyond teaching the fundamentals his or her disposal. This is what we try to the child "balance" between his old life of Judaism, and the skills and supply to our kiruv families:' and his new one. Once again, therefore, halachos involved in Torah obser- For instance, although children are in the kiruv organization or n1entor n1ust vance, kiruv has another task to perfor1n. yeshiva, there is no Shabbos at home for act in loco parentis and provide what any It must help Jews find comfort, warmth ' many of them. At Shalom Torah Academy, caring Jewish parent would provide, given and friendship among their own people. \. two yearly Shabbatons, one sponsored by the necessary level of awareness. For children who have no memory of i the school and another done in conjunc- Oorah answered this problem by open- Bubbi and Papa's seder, of the kosher \ tion with Gateways, provides a taste of ing up its own summer camp. The girls' butd1er and the old neighborhood, new ii a rich Shabbos experience. In addition, camp is now in its third season, and a 1nemories must be 1nade. And that is not teachers frequently invite children to boys' division was launched this summer. the job of a kiruvorganization. It is the job their own homes for Shabbos. Oorah In recruiting for the camp, Oorah found of every religious Jew. When our brethren periodically runs a Shabbat With Oorah that it was filling a wide-open niche. "Most find serenity, enthusiasm and joy in our [ retreat, which helps families create warm, kids from non-religious homes were going world, they want what we have. Then, the I 0 L"' ~ ~'" .,,''". '"~""""" ·~·ley '"':' "'~M "' ~~ ek= "" """ olece ...... ~ PLONIS ALMONIS

out three years ago, I signed up family, ranging in age from newborn guess that's called "time management with Project Y.E.S. as a volunteer. to twelve, one hour seemed like a lot. for mothers." It was amazing to see that t the time, I had numerous It turned out that Nechama, like many the hour could be found, and moreover, reservations about being a mentor - but kids in trouble, was keeping pretty late that one hour a week could really make the years have proven that for me, and hours, and for my own family, leaving a difference. Very rarely did I speak on I believe for her, the rewards have been the house one night a week from 9 to the phone with or see Nechama outside immeasurable. I have often suggested to 10 was least invasive. Even then, the of our weekly hour, yet, over time, we friends that they become a mentor, and two-year-old, a napper, was occasionally developed a strong bond. they've mentioned many of the same up, and he actually came along with us Rather than being neglected, my concerns I had. Among them: Too busy. sometimes. I was pretty exact about children benefited from my mentoring. Lack professional Most importantly, skills. Inexperienced it was an invaluable with kids at risk. Not role model for them hip or cool. Kids in two areas: ahavas wouldn't relate to me. Yisroel and keep- Unwilling to neglect ing a commitment. my own children. My There were a few family will suffer. ... saving times over the years Recently, I was that I was literally zocheh to chat with my too exhausted to "n1entee," Nechama, about her work with at-risk children and her recent engage­ ment. It's a time '' es''

THE POWER Opening Mv Eves OF LISTENING other WHAT A andMvHeart m a j o r DIFFERENCE AN ~oncern, HOUR MAKES to a Teenager at Risk beyond time, was: How would a teen y over- at risk relate to me? whelming concern was: VVhen my one-hour allotment, which actually I'm a middle-aged mother, not particu­ M will I find the time without suited Nechama fine. I think it made the larly cool or street smart. Old car, plain neglecting my family? relationship more appealing to her. house. Nechama was a trendy teenager Even though the program only The benefits for me were several. who loved shopping and talking about required one hour a week, as a work­ First, I learned something about squeez­ bargains. She was also very intuitive ing mother with, baruch Hashem, a large ing time from seemingly nowhere. I and street smart. But I soon learned that simply being myself, an imperfect PROJECT Y.E.S. (YOUTH f.NRICHMENT SERVICES), A PROJECT OF AGUPATH ls RAEL OF AMERICA, IS AN ORGJ\Nl- 'AT>ON OE eROCE">ONALLYTRA>NW VOLUNH>'"' woo mm> ON THE COOALLCNGC> '"'>NG AT-R<>K n""· adult, somewhat more mature than her, su~VlCES - Cl'RRENTLY AVAILABLE IN NEW YORK, CHICAGO, DETROIT, AND M!NNFAPOLIS - INCLUDE A HOT- who cared enough to meet with her l.lNE, MENTORING PROGRAM, ALTERNATIVE SCHOO!. PLACEMENT, PROFESSIONAi. REFERRALS, VOCATIONAL for a short time on a consistent basis, · couNsEuNG AND JoB PLACEMENT. was enough And in our relationship I I

~ ------__, __-____ · ------~ ------·-··-··--··-THE JEWISH---·-·---- OBSERVER-----·----·--··--·----·---·-=-i I --···-·----··--·-··--·--··--·--····--··-····------··-·-----·------·- -·------·--·-·- - '

learned the power of a lot of skills that her. Hmmm. That was exactly what I was process, and so, yet another lesson was I use (or should, anyway) with my own doing with my son, who was learning out of brought home: patience... children. town. I think he was pleasantly surprised Of course, my most important lessons Probably, the most invaluable lesson when our protracted calls became short, came from learning from Nechama's I learned was the power of listening. upbeat conversations. Like many kids at example. Here she was, a young girl Fortunately, Nechama loved to talk- and risk, she held those around her to a much saddled with some pretty difficult issues, I'm a decent listener. I'd ask her about higher standard than herself - she should and yet, she summoned the will to deal her week, and for much of the time she'd have been a mashgiach - and honed in with them, and to grow from them. talk. At first, she'd tell me all about her on any possible inconsistencies she found Her strength of character, and personal shopping (I'd try to facilitate minimally in her parents' behavior or observance. I growth, emotionally and in Yiddishkeit, so that she wouldn't realize the depths of resisted joining her in her parent bashing are an example for 1ne: VVhatever situa­ my ignorance), and then, as time went (a very tempting way to forge a connec­ tion Hashem sends our way, deal with it. on, she'd bring up the real issues in her tion with kids), but listened thoughtfully, Grow from it. She has. life. I'd give her my opinion, if it seemed and processed that message .... Finally, a plug for Project Y.E.S. she was open to it, trying to be as honest And yet another lesson: Like many of Theoretically, I should have been able to as possible without being critical. It was the mentors at the Project Y.E.S. meeting, take on responsibility for helping another often a juggling act. Gradually, I came to I was dubious at first that a teen would mother's child in a committed way, on a realize that she appreciated my being a have any interest in being mentored, regular basis. I think that without doing it straight shooter with her. I remember her since it was the parents who initiated this in a formal way, my commitment would once laughing ruefully after she asked me relationship. We were assured that nearly not have been the same.Also, despite my for advice about some lies she planned to all the kids who were referred for mentor­ large extended family and friendly block tell her parents, "What am I asking you ing were open to it, and with Nechama, - like many frum Jews in the big city, I for? You always see their side, too." that was indeed the case. Overcoming crave for community. Doing this as part I was constantly amazed that she my own fear of challenge (and rejection) of an organization filled my need to feel trusted me simply because I was willing was a plus for me. While Nechama easily connected. to listen and to give her the respect that accepted our relationship, and enjoyed an honest response implied. it, one approach that definitely did not work was pontification or preaching. THE NET GAINS On very few occasions, since I ]earned LESSONS IN THE PROCESS my lessons quickly, I tried to share what o, to recap, these are some of I thought was an inspiring d'var Torah the areas in which I've grown (or espite her issues, there was much with Nechama. Her eyes glazed, she Sshould have), thanks to Nechama to compliment, and I tried to became intensely bored very suddenly, - time management, involving my fam­ Dsprinkle my listening with as and it was evident that this approach was ily in chessed, learning to listen and many subtle compliments as possible a bit too direct. But the indirect approach, compliment, understanding my own - not too overt or forced, but genuine of simply being an honest, loving friend children better, recognizing the relative compliments: About her shopping smarts whose own family was imperfect but ineffectiveness of direct mussar, learning (that was more in the beginning), her happy, did work. I was stunned when one to conduct my own observance more street smarts, her intuition, and eventu­ day, a few years after I began mentoring consistently, gaining patience, and the ally, about her willingness to lay down her, we were discussing her future family, ability to surmount challenges .... Most her self-absorption and really work on and she talked about bow idyllic my life important, though, I've learned to love her character. This conscious attempt to seemed to her. her. VVhen we first met, I wasn't sure how make her feel respected was great practice I could possibly relate to a very material­ for me for my own children. This had a istic girl- as I dimwittedly and simplisti­ bonus benefit for me: I learned to polish NOT AN OVERNIGHT PROCESS cally saw her at the very beginning. But my ayin tova (generous eye) by seeking just like each child expands one's under­ the good in her. .. there was, indeed, Her evolution into a true bas standing of and connection to different much of it. Hopefully I can apply that Yisroe~ with a deep understand- types of people, so did Nechama expand to my other fellow Jews. ing and appreciation of people, my outlook. Despite our differences, we I also garnished some tips about what was something to behold. It was slow in came to love each other and appreciate NOT to do with my own children. For coming, and many factors other than the breadth of each other's personalities. example, she once complained about her the mentoring, including wonderful, If I can take that love and appreciation mother's seemingly interminable phone involved teachers, family, seminary expe- and bring them to my relationships with calls to her, undoubtedly due to her rience, and time, intertwined to help all my fellow Jews, then I indeed will have , mother's desperate need to connect with her flower. Still, it was not an overnight gained beyond measure. ~!iili

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ONE PERSON CAN MAKE THE DIFFERENCE

YoEL. C. GoLoBERG

KIROV: PHASE II

eldom do a few months go by it is, pales in comparison to actualizing married ba'al teshuva couple in without the topic of kiruv rechokim this change over the long term. Kiruv your shul - they all need a helping Sappearing in these pages, as in professionals and regular frum Jews who hand. We are biblically obligated to most other Orthodox periodicals. It is support and assist them step by step as make them feel at home in every baruch Hashen1 a burgeoning "industry;' they make the slow and arduous journey way possible.' en1ploying enonnous talent and utiliz­ give them the courage and stamina to 2. Enormous resources are being ing the most technologically advanced continue to grow until they can swim on expended in the kiruv effort. If we methods of reaching out to Jews across their own. The stark reality is, however, only invest in phase one - bringing the globe in unprecedented numbers. that we often let them down at various them in the door- and don't have a While this reality makes us feel good, stages after their commitment. The plan for integration, we are in effect we must take a good hard look at the whys and hows will be discussed further squandering our scarce monetary second and more important phase of in this article. But needless to say, this resources and incredible talent. this phenomenon, and that is the inte­ phenon1enon is cause for great concern 3. By not properly integrating our gration of these Yidden into our society. for many reasons, including: dear brethren into our society, we In other words, what are we doing for I. The Torah in several places prohibits are in effect creating a ha' al teshuva them once they have made the commit­ us from oppressing or abusing the subculture, which can be very dan- ment to become observant? ger. Rashi (Shemos 22,20) defines gerous to Yiddishkeit. Hanhagas Deciding to become an active partici­ the ger "as a foreigner who was ha Yehudi - a Jewish mode of can- pant in the Am Hashem, as difficult as not born in our country." I would duct - must come fro1n our sacred like to suggest that Rashi seems to mesora (tradition). This element ···------·------indicate that ager is not limited to a is their biggest deficit. If we don't fOEL GOLDBERG, A RESIDENT 01' SP!-l!NG VALLEY

NY. HAs Bt:i.:N AFFILIATEu wiT1-1 011R soMAYActt convert, but refers to any newcomer bequeath it to them, then not only JN MONSt-Y FOR M,\NY YEARS. I-IE HAS RECENTLY to our camp, either geographically are WC short-changing them, but coFou"nr'.oCHAYu OLAM. AN oRGAN1zAnoNTHAT or ethnically- in other words, any- TR-:ishi (Shc-;nos ·2·3,9)·Tu;t-he~-- statC'Sth;tp-;--;::: Wll./. SERVE Tl-IE NEEDS OF THE BA At. TIO!>l-ff!l/A COM· One Wh0 WOUid feel OUt Of place in ticularJy in these instances, "oppressing thel11 is Ml 'Nrn. foR MORE INFORMATION. HE CAN BE CON- h d b d" S" · Ch h · I · R 1 · · t eir new surroun ings. An Israeli a . 11scz ac a11111n exp a1ns as 11 1n two 1AcTEDVtAEMAfl.ATYG01.oBERG(''c11AYEIOLAM.coM. family that moved to Monsey; a ways: I) His ycitzer hara is very difficult and it 1111-: Al'THOfl WOUl.D l.IKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE is therefore very vulnerable. 2) Once you turn EDt-roR1ALAss1sTANCE oFYAAKov AsToR 1N PREPAR· Lakewood yungerman relocated to him off, you will never be able to convince him L'"~'~'~------~·Louis to teach; no les:~wly-~comebac~ -- ______d ~~----· .. ---_ ··------;;;·;;;· ;;;o=;;;";;;·;;;:~.=o=~;;;·;;;·:;;;:-:R:::;;;~;;;·;;;o=o=;;;G=;;------

we are also allowing foreign ideas referred to as FFB). To the BT, degrees and trying to eat it when the to creep into our mesora, and that however, they can be particularly surface looks crisp. affects us even more.2 devastating. They have made the Often, it seems that it is they, not we, 4. The children of ba'alei teshuva, who choice to leave the secular world who are pursuing a fast timetable. That, go to yeshivas and Bais Yaakovs just and its trappings because they are however, comes mostly as a result of the as ours, are often at a disadvantage. intimate with its moral bankrupt· desire to "fit in." We therefore have to Our school curriculum generally cies and because they recognize make them feel very comfortable just assumes certain knowledge gleaned the moral and spiritual substance as they are, wherever they are up to in from the home: Additionally, par­ Torah living offers. When they the process. Out-of-town communities ents are expected to assist with witness - or worse: becomes vic­ do a much better job at that than major homework assignments. By not tims of - individuals' and perhaps centers of 10rah life. continuing the adult education of even communal attitudes that are Similarly, we assume that since a these parents, we are unfairly short­ anything but moral and spiritual, BT has been frum for several months, changing them and their children. it can undermine the foundations he knows almost all our customs Our schools must also do more and very reasons they decided to by osmosis. Perhaps that's why we in training their teaching staffs to become frum in the first place. generally let go, and let them swim accommodate these students and 6. By letting down these true mev­ on their own all too soon. We must parents. akshei Hashem, we collectively are realize that regardless of how com­ 5. We have to realize that there guilty of chillul Hashem of the fortable a BT feels in shul or at our are things that go on in our highest order. Shabbos table, it can take years for community that can dampen the them to fully learn the intricacies of enthusias1n and even threaten the halacha and minhagim. The amount teshuva of the BT. These things ARE WE LETTING THEM of information they are digesting is can include spiritual shortcom­ DowN? staggering. We grew up seeing and ings, such as misplaced emphasis living these things, and unfortunately on materialisn1 and chitzoniyus irst and foremost, we must be often practice by rote, without much (superficiality), to outright moral extremely sensitive to their needs understanding or meaning to what failings of the most condemnable Fand not push them to grow faster we're doing. BTs, however, as intel­ nature. These shortcomings and than they can handle. Teshuva is a pro· ligent adults, are doing these things failings, of course, also affect cess. It should not be measured in visible by learning and understanding what the Frum From Birth (hereafter results. People grow at different rates. they're doing. This process takes a We are often impatient getting them very long time to implement. 2 ThiS is deSPite the faCt that;·as we wilf!;oint to be what we consider "normal," i.e., We must also realize that we, as out further in this article, we do have much to learn from them that can actually enhance our full-fledged clones of ourselves. That a community, have a very complex practice of Yiddishkeit. is tantamount to baking a cake at 600 infrastructure, which is very difficult and sometimes downright intimi· I coach people to help them realize their dating for the BT to navigate. A few Can a Life-Coach own dreams and a1nbitions. I help the1n examples: Getting kids into schools plan, program, and stay 1notivated. help you realize and summer camps, confronting WHY COACHING? Improving one's your dreams? life means 1naking change; and people need yeshiva curricula, shidduchim, sim­ support and structure to keep distractions chos, making Yamim Tovim, etc ... and obstacles from swamping their dreams and goals. all these often require connections Moreover, people rarely see their own capabilities in full measure. A coach is a per­ and know-how, and may very well son who by temperament, experience, and training is dedicated to help you grow and be issues many years after they've achieve your O'\VO drea1ns. A coach never loses confidence in his client's ability! I have over thirty years experience in helping people fulfill their dreams, have become observant. Even those BTs authored books, articles and produced cassette progra1ns on this subject. In 2-3 who have had the benefit of learning months, using week1y private phone sessions, you can learn how to in a yeshiva or seminary have rarely effectively take control of your life. I experienced the running of a frum FREE OFFER - I would be happy to give you a free telephone home and learning all the things I conference. Please call USA 845-352-1175 for an appointment. Thank you. - MR. Av1 SHULMA'll they missed growing up. After all, Live a Life of Design, Not Default even the FFB who has the knowledge and experience finds many of these areas quite challenging. In the most : critical areas, those of shalom bayis and raising families, their entire life ~--···-··-···---·····---··-··-···------~------, T H E JEWISH OBSERVER ------·-·------'

can assure you that while you may ask ! yourself - How on earth can I find time for this when we don't even have enough time for our own family? - you will see that being selfless endows you and your Regardless of how comfortable a baal family with untold rewards, including teshuva feels in shul or at our Shabbos time and great friendships. It will also provide tremendous spiritual growth table, it can take years for them to for you and your family, as Yiddishkeit fully learn the intricacies of halacha and becomes alive. And as previously men­ tioned, their idealism and enthusiasm minhagim. The amount of information often breathes fresh air into our habitual they are digesting is staggering. rituals and stagnated growth. Ask anyone living out of town

experience has been from a secular Mother and baby came home from perspective, which generally pro­ the hospital on Sunday, and need­ motes the antithesis of our ideals, less to say, panic and pandemonium hashkafos and way of life. reigned. Had the rav understood the Additionally, today, since ba'alei dynamics of their situation, either he teshuva settle throughout our com­ would have paskened differently, or n1unities, conventional rabbanin1, niade sure that someone in the neigh­ despite their hectic schedules, must borhood would be there to assist. In reach out to these constituents and this case, however, the rav was taking educate themselves as to the specific for granted that there were parents, needs of this group. Rabbi Avrohom family and friends who could make •Serving families, couples Braun, menaheil of Yeshivas Ohr all this happen, as is usually the case and individuals Somayach in Monsey relates the with the FFB. •Utilizing Torah principles following story when lecturing to to enhance life skills aspiring rabbanim: AfineBTcouplelivinginFlatbush, A PROPOSAL OF MUTUAL •Yiddish, Hebrew and English speaking social workers who were expecting their first child, BENEFIT decided to spend a Sunday before the ' · ' ' ' ' ' ' · ' ' ' ' ' ' ' · ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' · ' • • • • •No waiting room! Immediate birth shopping for baby furniture. The only way baalei teshuva can entrance to private office. lVhen his chavrusa heard of their successfully integrate into our •Sliding fee scale for families plans, he told him that the minhag world is if each BT family has a of moderate income is not to shop prior to the baby being place to call home. Each one of us who •In Spring Valley, convenient born, and that he should consult with is able must partner with a BT family, to NJ and NYC his rav. Upon doing so, the rav told to become as family to one another and him that because of ayin hara, it is bequeath to them the mesorawe are for- No family today is without its challenges, preferable to wait till after the birth. lunate enough to have. At the same time, but change for the better and help to The gentleman thanked the rav for his that allows them to share their enthusi- meet those challenges is availabfe. suggestion, and willingly obliged. asm and fresh perspective on Yiddishkeit THE FAMILY CONNECTION can help you All went well until the baby was with us. That encompasses everything create and sustain positive relationships. born. The birth was on a Thursday from raising children to making Pesach, afternoon, and the new father was from teaching them the songs the small Zalman Lachman, L.C.S.W. unable to take off from work on children are going to learn in school Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Director Friday. As he had to put together a to helping them find a high school for Shalom Zachor for the first time, he their older ones, from helping them find 845-425-4300

'i was unable to purchase any furniture a rav to providing them with a place to A PROJECT OF INNOVATIVE COMMUNITY SERVICES, INC. 1 nonprofit 501(c)3 chantable corporation i Lthe new arrival ~n that short day. -~ave their kids for a- coup~of day~ ------___::J () c ~-····· --· ------fOBER 20 0 6

how, despite the relatively lower level same concept can be applied here. WORDS OF CAUTION of day school education, how much Just consider all the hashkafa that more Yiddishkeit means to them and your children vvill overhear. 1"his is an opting a family means giving their children. Your experience will opportunity one should not pass up. ots of time, and spending many be no different, but you'll also have Additionally, consider giving shi­ N habbosos and Yamim Tovim the best of both worlds. urim for both fathers and mothers together, just as you would with your It is told that when Rabbi Aaron on the material that is being taught own children. Therefore, only do it if Kotler sent his talmidim to open to their children at school. These you are sure you can handle it. yeshivos out of town, where chinuch shiurim, aside from being extremely Also, do not undertake more than was a problem, Reb Aaron promised helpful to both the parents and one family. Taking on more than you that the children would not lose out. their children, also tend to foster can handle will be to everyone's detri­ If you take care of Hashem's children, friendships in which families grow ment. That is the current problem. The He takes care of yours. I think the extremely close. few families doing it are overwhelmed. They need your help! Additionally, unless you have expe­ rience in dealing with baalei teshuva, don't take this on until you speak to an outreach professional who can fill you in on at least some of the basics. You must understand the world they are coming from, so you can know how to guide them. Most of it is common sense, but do not assu111e that you have • grow in Yiras Shamayim? all the answers. The most important thing is that you know whom to ask Yeshivah Gedolah of MU/wood believes that a bochur who or whom to send them to when an truly wants that opportunity deserves one! I issue arises. After all, don't we seek out a chacham to consult when we Yeshiva Gedo Iah of Midwmxl has a dedicated and talented staff with a proven track record of ourselves have issues? offering bochurim the resources to fulfill their potential. We are geared for bochurim ages 17 and Incidentally, you must tell them older who possess a sincere desire to grow in Torah andAvodas Hashem. In Yeshiva Gedolah of that, as well. Often BTs think that only Mid\vood, a bochur who aspires to be all he could be has the opportunity to attain that vision. they have difficulties managing. They think that our Jives are hunky-dory. I call that the Shabbos Table Syndrome. Yeshiva Gedolah of Midwood Virtually their only exposure to our was created with the dream of empowering homes and family life is when they bochurim to attain THEIR dream. come in to a nicely set Shabbos table, with the kids all bathed and dressed in Yeshiva Gedolah of Midwood offers n1oderate-sized shiurin1 taught on several levels. clean clothing. They must be invited Our Rabbeim focus on developing skills, confidence. 1niddos tovos, and a geshmak in during rush hour, between 6 and 9 learning, in a mature Bais Medrash setting. The Hanhalah is dedicated to being mechazek each evening, so they can see what life a serious-minded bochur confronting earnest questions and concerns as he ascends to the in a heimishe home is really like. They lifestyle and outlook of a true Ben Torah. We offer an accredited Regent's Secular Studies 1nust experience sensible discipline program for a Talmid who needs to complete his High-School diploma. We have the and the positive approach to child experience and knowledge to help our talmidi1n reach their goals. And most importantly, at rearing while co1nmanding respect. Yeshiva Gedolah of Midwood, we truly respect and care for you. They must see time managed properly and simchas hachayim. And our many talmidim who have been matzliach How's this self-test doing? I told beyond their wildest dreams are a living testimony! you, you would gain immeasurably! But don't give up, folks, that's just it! For YOUR chance to succeed, please call now: Show them we're normal, too. They Rabbi Mendel Y. 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sther Solomon was my partner Torah program when Esther called style of living Torah in all that she did in Torah for four years. She was me from the predominantly obser- became my inspiration. Etragically hit by a car Erev Shabbos vant community of Flatbush. I lived (June 30/4 Tamuz) on a street near her in Highland Park, Illinois, a largely home in Flatbush, Brooklyn, and died. secular Jewish community. Esther, PESACH IN BROOKLYN: She was only fifty-nine years old, and speaking with an authentic New York BRINGING NEW MEANING had just celebrated her thirty-second accent, disseminated beautiful lessons TO WELCOMING GUESTS wedding anniversary with her husband, in Hebrew and tefilla (prayer), while · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · Nasson. This article is a tribute to my personifying eternal lessons in living As the holiday of Pesach partner in Torah, my dear friend, Esther, Torah. approached during our first year aleha hashalom. As a ba'alas teshuva of seven years of learning, Esther invited me Esther caused each soul that she with a deep desire to discover my Jewish and my family to stay with her family touched to bloom. I was fortunate to heritage, I asked Esther so many, many for Pesach. I asked her if she wanted us be one of those whom she touched. questions. There was so much 1 needed to come for the beginning or the end Esther was carrying flowers, which she to learn. I was most impressed with her of the holiday. In her direct manner of had just gone out to buy for Shabbos, breadth of knowledge and kind patience. speaking, she asked why we should have when she was hit by the car. When I told Although I only heard a voice over a to change over our home for Pesach and my nine-year-old daughter that Esther telephone, her words painted a picture also pack up to travel. She insisted that had died, she declared that Esther went of what she truly was, a strong woman we stay for the entire Pesach. straight to Gan Eden, while carrying who loved to bring Torah into her home I did not think that I heard her cor- flowers for Shabbos. and into mine. rectly and asked her to repeat her offer. We began to learn Torah over the As I was not raised in an observant I could not believe that she wished to telephone through the Partners in home, I needed words of inspiration to invite me, a woman she had only met -----·------forge the conviction to change my entire on the telephone, my husband, and at MAasHA SMAGLEY REs1nEs 1N H1GHLANn PARK. life to come to Torah. Not Esther. She that time, my six-year-old daughter and 1LuN01s. w1T1111ER 11irsnANDAN0Two c1111.0REN. was raised with Torah and exemplified twelve-year-old son, to stay with her SnEiiAsDEVoTEDTHELAs·rsEvENYEARsTosTuov- the strength and clarity of living each family for ten days. As a newcomer to ING T

ARnc1.Es T!!Ar coNvEY HER 11 r:AinTELr .iouRNEY were created to do - to serve G-d and to observant living, where families would I ro ToRAH. HER "To Touc!l A SToNE, To F1Nn A shine forth His light. Esther illuminated invite strangers to stay for Shabbos and L ~r""""~J<~uN~o"_ - - - ~r~eac~n~-with ~ght. Her pr~tical - holidays;~et, ~e~ed that her offer went 1 29 0CTOliER 2 0 0 6

far beyond the mitzvah of hachnasas on an adventure in Yiddishkeit, hosted ro"" '" '"" '"hoogh ''" >m: orchim (welcoming guests). I was to by the friendly Solomons. How could physically, she was a giant, spiritually.~' I soon learn that Esther embraced this we have possibly known that this I felt comfortable from that very first mitzvah with every part of her being. Pesach visit would result in changing meeting, as did my family. My family agreed to come to our lives forever? As we had arrived in New York on the Flatbush. I had never been to Flatbush. Esther appeared nothing like I had night before Pesach, we went with her The name even sounded strange to me, imagined her to look. Her strong voice family to an Italian kosher restaurant, and Brooklyn seemed like a world of portrayed a picture of a tall, large each of us yearning to consume his last its own. Although my husband, at that woman. Esther looked nothing like morsels of pasta and bread. Her hus­ point, was not ready to change his life that. She was short in physical size, band, Nosson, was extremely kind. Her to one of Torah, he was raised in New and as she was finishing her Pesach teenaged daughter, Chavi, and her two York, and loved the idea of spending preparations, was dressed co1nfortably, sons who lived at home, Moshe Chaim time in his native city with a nice fam­ wearing a baseball cap. She greeted me and Yehoshua, who were both in their ily. We booked our flights, embarking with a huge smile and a warm hug. I twenties, were equally welcoming. We later met her married son, Avraham, and his wife, Leah, and Esther's young granddaughter, Michal. Hashem not only gave us the gift of Esther, He also gave us the gift of becoming part of her beautiful family.

MY GUIDE INTO "LIVING" TORAH

had begun to learn Torah a little while before I met Esther. Torah I transcended my secular world. Each precious word of Torah that I read gave f ubscribe, or give a gift at these reduced me a glimpse into an entirely new world, prices: as much as 40% off the newsstand into an entirely new reality: G-d's real- price; the longer your subscription, the greater your savings. You and your family will benefit from the ity. There are no words to describe the many articles of information and inspira­ enormity of the gift of Torah, which I Each month, The Jewish Observer will tion that they cannot get anywhere else. pray will transform the lives of my fam­ arrive at your doo1~ filled with the views of leading Tofah thinkers on current Of course, this offer is unconditionally ily and its future generations. issues. .. analyses of Jewish events, focus on guaranteed; you may cancel at any time With help from Shamayim (Heaven), burning issues, inside reporting, interpretive and receive a full refund for all undeliv­ I had been trying to lead my family commentary, uplifting biographies, infuri­ ered copies, no questions asked. ating letters and illuminating responses - towards observance. During that first all within the covers of one magazine, So order today, and the very next issue will year, we had transferred our children The Jewish Observer. be on its way to you as soon as possible. from public school to an Orthodox school. It is a daunting task to change worlds, to shed all that you have learned to be true and to start life anew. This OWifRVER SubscripUon Discount Cenificate is especially difficult after being mar­ 42 Broadway I New York, NY 10004 • Phone 212-797-7394 • Fax 646-254-1600 ried for a long time and already having children. lf/ilr«ny rmwn fll nm· lmw you""' 1w1 .mli.eficvf Please enter ,J DI)' s11bsl:ription :J my gift J"l"'"''(''"""""'Y"'"'.;AO'

'ForNg11{11'/W11j/c'<"f., $15 "'1rn {•c•i· m,,. In defrr\I' ,,,,. slJ1f1J111g tunity to experience Torah living. This rn.,·ts. Foreign {!l(l"l!IClll mus/ IN 11111d<" 111 1·.s. do/!m.I'. e1lhl'!" !1r dm·k dmw11 011 a /1tmb 111 tbe l .. U or l>r l/.~1 91' ,\faslerCard happened while we shared meals in their , (,ITY, >TA'lL. L.11' The Jh Obsctwr i> puh1;,,.,1 mruary. homo, do~wd '"''°'"· •od ~lh'1 I I down the many avenues of Flatbush. ~------·----·------·------·------.. ·--·------.------... ------THE JE\VISH OBSERVER

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sther was an extraordinary cook. I believe this greatly impacted Eon my fa1nily's desire to becon1e observant. I have tried each Shabbos to recreate her dishes, and I just can­ not. Without reading a cookbook, she conjured up such delicious culinary delights that we did not even realize that we had finished the Pesach Seder at 2:00 a.m.! I remember my then-six-year-old daughter lining up just before midnight to fill her plate with scrumptious roasted chicken. Just the smell alone of Esther's food helped us to continue to consume the n1any pieces of shen1ura n1atza with hoards of romaine lettuce. Esther invited us to stay with her family again the following year for I ------__d () C T 0 H E R 2 0 0 6

rhymed with "frum," saying that it was a --•--OUR STAND cross between "room" and "from." I still NOW YOU CAN could not say it. Everyone then joined in with words to help me pronounce PUT THE SPARK BACK this word, including my children, but IN YOUR INSURANCE. to no avail. I recently shared this "frum" table memory with Esther. I had no idea that Call me today to hear about these new this would be the last time that we would optional features: New Car Replacement. ever speak. This experience had inspired Accident Forgiveness and Deductible Rewards. me to wish to write a future article (718) 268-1700 entitled "How Could I Have Become So 'Frum,' If I Could Not Even Say the Word 'Frum'?" She burst out laughing, the kind of laugh that conveyed a special connection between friends, one that comes from a significant sharing of Martin Levy lives. Even though I still cannot cor­ 103-20 METROPOLITAN AVENUE rectly pronounce the word, Esther truly FOREST HILLS inspired me to become "fi·um." [email protected]

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Feature 1s optional and subject to terms and condi1ions. Available in select states now and in most states by 1/31/06 (Subject to regulatory approval where required). Allstate Property and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, IL. ©2005 Allstate Insurance he Solomons never made us feel Company bad about all that we did not Tknow; instead, they caused us .. ------~ to feel that they were actually learning from us. They conveyed that it was my Are You Movi 7 family that was giving to them, that we IS YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS PRINTED were bringing exciting new life to their INCORRECTLY ON THE JO MAILING LABEL? Pesach celebration. This could be seen through the light in their eyes, the joy in We need your help to ensure proper delivery of the Jewish Observer to your home. their faces, and the thrill in their voices Please attach current mailing label in the space below, or print clearly your address and computer processing numbers that are printed above your name on the address label. as they answered our many questions. They influenced us most, not by preaching observance, but simply by being a nice family that just naturally lived Torah in their low-key way. They Affix old label here also expressed a true caring for us in everything they did, and it was clear that our lives really mattered to Name ______them. This caring gave us the needed support and courage to transform New Address our lives. City, I remember how bentching Grace After Meals had seemed so daunting State, ------~Zip to me. I wished to recite this prayer Date Effective ------­ in Hebrew, determined not to miss a single word. As I had learned Hebrew Send address The Jewish Observer changes to: many years before in Hebrew school, Change of Address it took me forever to finish it. I would ! 42 Broadway, 14th Floor, New York, NY 10004 still be bentchinglong after everyone, I Please allow 4·6 weeks for all changes to be reflected on your mailing label. We will not including my family, had left the table. : L be responsible for back issues missed unless you nottfy us 6 weeks pnor to your move _J ~ ------E-sther took notice of thi-s, and urged I Tiit-: JEWISH 0HSEHVEH

me to sing this prayer; she said that My husband, for the first time in his Ernrn• S•M . . THC"""""". . \ life, wore a kipa each day during our ...... I she did not want me to be left behind my family. Although even now, I am first Pesach stay. He became comfort­ ing David, in Psalm 22, pays still the last one to finish bentching at able enough wearing the kipa that he tribute to Queen Esther, refer­ our table, Esther's teaching me to sing continued to wear one after he returned Kringto her as Ayelles Hashachar, my praises to Hashem has ensured that home, even at work in a secular con1- the morning star. The personality of I am not left behind. pany. It simply did not make sense to Queen Esther represents the slow dawn­ Nasson thoughtfully spent much hi1n anymore not to have a kipa on his ing of the light of the Jews who were tin1e with n1y husband, researching head just because the holiday was over. engulfed in the darkness of exile. Esther and answering his questions in a way lt was the action of wearing a kipa that is derived from "Istahar," a very bright that appealed to his reasoning. My helped my husband move from obser­ star (ArtScroll Psalms, Yalkut Shirnoni husband recalls that one rainy Shabbos vance only during the holidays, which - Megillas Esther l 053). day, while walking together to shld, he he was accustomed to as a secular Jew, Esther, as her na1ne illu1ninates, was asked Nosson why we cannot carry an to eventually incorporating Torah into blessed with the ability to shine forth her umbrella on Shabbos. It did not make his daily life. bright light throughout her entire life, sense to my husband to think that G-d Only one month after spending that a light that caused all the souls that she would want us to get soaked while walk­ first Pesach at the Solomons, at age touched to bloom. This world is now miss­ ing to shul to davcn. forty-five, my husband suffered a heart ing Esther, who brought so much light to Nosson explained the reasons why, attack. Fortunately, he came through in my family. I will forever miss Esther, my and then used an exa1nple fro1n the excellent health, which I cannot help but partner in Torah, and my dear friend, the business world, which my husband, who believe was fro1n the merit of observ­ special soul that left this world carrying works as a Chief Financial Officer, could ing Pesach with the Solomons, along Shabbos flowers to Gan Eden. relate to. Nasson asked my husband, with his growing observance, which I pray that Moshiach will come "Would your father \Vant you to correct followed. speedily, bringing us shalom (peace). a fraudulent situation at work even if it Esther and her family, in all that May each precious Jewish neshama incant losing your job?" they did, became an eternal part of my (soul) cause a rose to bloom within My husband responded, "Of course family's journey to Torah. We appre­ the thorns of this long and bitter galus he would want me to do the right thing." ciated learning from the1n, and they (exile), and may we no longer feel its ·rhis \vas a turning point for my hus­ appreciated seeing Torah through our sadness and pain. May we all n1erit band. It helped him to understand that eyes- eyes which they helped to open to becoming a shining star, an emissary even if there are short-tern1, negative see into Hashcrn's world. Our journeys of Hashern's exquisite light. consequences, we 111ust choose to do to con1e closer to our Creator beca1ne May this tribute serve as a rnerit for what is "right," \¥hich is ah¥ays to trust one, and together, we experienced true the elevation of the neshama of Esther and to follow Hashern's will. achdus (unity). bas Avraham. ffil

YOSS! HUTTLER every day I turn DalHavomi a page another appears before me - D'var Yom Be'Vomo a day's distance away

some days, getting ahead of everyone else and myself shorter of breath running parchment-skin unsteady hands I keep turning learning praying that the coming days but these are the rules: can today be squirreled away too a page a day no guarantees beyond today and its daf ii Yoss1 HUTTLER, WHO 1.IVES IN STATEN ISLAND, NY, JS AN ATTORNEY AND AN ORAl. lllSTOR!AN, HAVING CONDIJCI'ED OVl'R 120 INTERVIFWS 01' SURVIVORS OF CnuRBAN EUROPE l'OR THE SHOAJ-1 fotJNDATJON. i, I L ...... ------··--- __ __:J r-=~- SIMCHAS TORAH MUSINGS --=l

1 ELIYAHU MAYER I I

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lesson from hakafos? I never lively tune which seems to have been cre­ Next time, I just drop my voice. I wish thought you're supposed to learn ated just for this occasion. But J am both­ they'd just change the niggun. My friend, Aanything from hakafos. You're ered by a discomforting realization: I don't Berel, is approaching me now, I'm feel­ just supposed to be inspired, uplifted know the words. At least, J don't know all ing my face redden. It's harder to stifle - even enchanted - by hakafos. But of the words to it. Some of the words are a blush than a yawn. learning? Aren't you just supposed to easily discernable and familiar. "Ashrei Not only is Berel a respected ta/mid throw yourself into the singing and 1sh shelo yishkachecha .. .." (Praiseworthy chacham, but he is also a gifted ba'al dancing, and get lost in the spiritual is the man who does not forget You.) Yes, menagein and ba'al tefilla. He's posi­ celebration? and happy is the one who does not forget tively the last person I would want to That's what I thought - until last the words to familiar niggunim, J think find out that I don't know the words

Simchas Torah, when the hakafos taught to 111yself1 somewhat embarrassed at my to the niggun. me, or rather, reminded me, of a very inability to make out all of the words to "Gut Yam Tov, Eliyahu. How are valuable lesson. this song. Oh, well, they'll probably change you?" to another niggun soon, anyway. "Baruch Hashem, Berel. Are we going The bachurim are raising the volume to hear from you at all this Yom Tovfrom "BEGINNING THE NEXT of their voices with such intensity that the amucR" HAKAFA" my hopes of a niggun change are quickly "I think I'm supposed to daven dashed. This is ridiculous, I think to Shacharis tomorrow," Berel replies, he gabba'im are bellowing out myself. All I need to do is listen harder the modestly. Then, changing the subject the all-clear signal of "Ad kan next tin1e those slurred words are being himself, he adds, '(Everyone seems to be Thakafa .. . !"Their voices trail off sung and I'll be able to figure them out. really getting into this niggun:' and I don't hear the last word. Now "Ashrei adam .. .. " I find it virtually I gulp hard. Could he have noticed which hakafa was it? I wonder. Actually, impossible to catch those few missing that I was only faking the words? I it makes me feel as if I'm more into the words each ti1ne we come to them. I wonder. dancing if I lose track of where we're could simply ask someone what the "Uh, tell me, Eliyahu;' Here! begins, holding. words are. Now, whom should I ask? sheepishly, "do you know the words to The gabba'im have just reassigned all No, I can't ask him. I'd be too embar­ this niggun? I feel a little funny admit­ of the Sifrei Torah and we're about to rassed to let him know that I don't know ting it. I know the last part starts with, begin the next hakafa. The man leading the words to such a familiar tune .... 'Ashrei ad am; but what is the rest of this hakafa is starting a familiar niggun, And I can't ask him. It's probably a very the passuk?" which everyone picks up quickly. I join well-known passuk. I'd look like a total J try to hide my relief as I reply, "Uh, in the singing, too, as my off-key voice is am ha' aretz. what a coincidence. I was just about to mercifully swallowed by the more melo­ ask you the same question." dious tones of my fellow congregants. Berel is pulled away by his son and J The niggun has caught on and is now No ONE TO ASK try to absorb what has just taken place. heated up like a barbecue grill in which One of the most respected mispallelim all of the briquettes have turned grey. s I look around, I conclude that in shul was not ashamed to ask me for Everyone has joined in with this familiar, there is no one I would feel com­ the words to this niggun, while I was too

fortable asking. Why don't they embarrassed to even consider asking 1 ELIYAHU MAYER, A NEW YORK-BASED WRITER, A JS A FREQUENT ("ONTR!Bl'TOR TO THESE PAGES, just change to another song already? anyone. I a1n reminded of the Chazal: I MOST RECENT!.Y WITH 'i\ T!ME FOR LETTING CiO," Now I'm singing along, and I cough "Ein habayshan lomeid. One wh~ t~f l OCTOBER '05. when we get to the words I don't know. easily embarrassed wiUn~[be able~

34 ------·-·------· ------····---- r-:····· THE JEWIS!l OUSEHVER ····-·--=-1 ! learn [Torah]." (Derech Bretz Zuta 3) We both laugh again, this time at the I'm also looking forward to whenever absurdity of the idea. my shul starts singing, "Ashrei adam oz la vach:' That's when I expect to catch THE LESSONS TO BE LEARNED Berel's eye and recall our mutual self­ LOOKING FORWARD disclosure during last year's '1akafos ... oth Berel and I were not fully together with the lesson I learned. ll!J engaged in this hakafa. But the dif­ 'm really looking forward to Simchas Bference between us is that Berel was Torah this year. I'm going to try to KARKA IN lllTZ YISROlL willing to ask, while I simply tried to hide. I channel more energy into the haka­ Ca!! Rabbi Gavr1el Beer for information on My mind wanders to other exam pl es of fos as a way of expressing appreciation obtaining cemetery plots in Beth Shemesh how our fear of embarrassment can inter­ for the Torah I have been privileged to and other locations in Israel. fere with our Torah life: not darifying the learn over the past twelve months. 011-972-2-656-9427 halacha regarding a she'eila of bis/ml (cook­ ing) on Shabbos; not asking the maggid shiurto explain a concept that he assumed was universally understood; relying on "safeik berachos lehakeir instead of inquir­ ing about the appropriate bcracha - all in order to conceal that we don't know that which we feel we should already know. I suppose the lesson I could learn from all of this is to stop trying to appear more knowledgeable than I really am. Perhaps if I take this lesson to heart, I will be able to learn that much more Torah this year, be' ezras Hashem. And if I do learn more Torah as a result of that lesson, then I really have something to rejoice about now, during hakafos. These thoughts are still fresh in my mind as Be rel approaches me again, wearing a broad grin and a twinkle in his eye. "It's a passuk in Tehillinz;' he informs me, bowing his head and lifting 'l his eyebrows, as if confessing a sin. Berel grabs a Tehillim and points to the passuk (84:6): "Ashrei adam oz lo vach:' We both smile nervously at each other. The hakafa has ended. The gabba'im are redistributing the sifrei Torah. The rav is distributing bags of potato chips to the younger members of the shul. Berel and I are standing next to each other, lost in our private thoughts. Berel is the first to break the silence: "Funny how we both didn't know the words to that last niggun and each one of us was afraid to ask. It feels as if there's a 1.. 955 .. Talknsave lesson to be learned here somehow, but 1'1n not sure just want it is." 1-866-825-5672 We laugh in 1nutual agreen1ent. After further reflection, Berel adds, "So I guess we'll just have to wait to find out what les­ *Some regulations & restrictions may apply **While supplies last. son we're supposed to learn until one of us email: [email protected] I www.talknsave.net writes about this in The Jewish Observer. Cellcom's Certified Agents · Tourist & Overseas Students

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I RABBI SHLOMO LORINCZ PREPARED FOR PUBLICATION BY YONOSON ROSENBLUM I In the January/February issue, The Jewish Observer featured the first installment of Rabbi Shlomo Lorincz's memoirs of his encoun­ ters with the Chazon lsh. As mentioned, Rabbi Lorincz represented Agudath Israel in the Israeli Knessetlrom 1951-1984, during which time he was an intimate of a number ofTorah luminaries of the past half century. The extensive notes that he kept on those meetings serve as the basis of this series of articles. The Chazon lsh The Man and His Vision Part II

Speech [is to be used} for the purpose for 14 years, and I had the opportunity in the seemingly small daily actions. So, ofpraising intellectual attainments or the to witness the (above) words of Rabbi l will seek only to relate those stories refinement of character... to awaken the Meir come to life 1nany times. that fall into the category of "this, too, soul to such qualities through stories .. His medical and anatomical knowl­ is Torah, and I must learn it," to tell . ta praise great people and give thanks edge was equal to that of the greatest only that which is worthy of emula­ far their attainments, in order that their doctors. There are many stories of the tion, as described by the Rambam in actions appear praiseworthy in the eyes of pinpoint medical advice he gave to sick the epigram that opens this chapter. As others (Rambam on Pirkei Avas I :17). people, some critically so. The pathways the l~an1ban advises his son in a fa1nous of the heavens were known to him. epistle, "When you arise from [reading] I-Iis vast astronon1ical knowledge was a book, review what you have learned to HE MERITED MANY GIFTS revealed when he was called upon to determine whether there is anything in resolve complicated issues concerning it that you can put into action." Rabbi Meir said, "All who are the proper day to observe Shabbos and involved in Torah lishn1a merit many Yom Kippur on the other side of the gifts" (Pirkei Avos6:1). International Date Line. These questions "EVERY BEN TORAH MUST VVho can be described as learning were posed by the students of Mirrer ASPIRE To GREATNESS JN Torah lishma if not the Chazon !sh? For Yeshiva, who were stranded in Shanghai TORAH" decades, he learned alone in a nonde­ during the war years. script shul in Kaidan, and afterwards His business acumen and knowledge first visited the Chazon !sh at the in Vilna, without anyone hearing of of financial matters was equally star­ beginning of 5700 ( 1939), not long him. Even as Torah scholars learned his tling. He advised some of the greatest ! after n1y arrival in Bretz Yisroel. sej"ari1n, no one knew who the author merchants, and pron1inent businessmen Rabbi Chaim Zev Finkel, the mashgiach was. Can there be a greater element of came to seek his advice on the nlost in Yeshivas Bais Harfalmud in Tel Aviv, lishma than that? l was privileged to be complicated financial matters. They all where l was then learning, brought me in daily contact with the Chazon !sh went away astounded by the quality of to visit him. After introducing myself and describ­ RABBI ROSENBLUM, \\'!10 LJVES IN JERLISAl.LM. JS his advice. A CONTRIBUTING EDITOU TO TNF:)F;\\ifSff 08SHRVER. What connection did he have to these ing the yeshivas in which I had learned HE IS ALSO DIRECTOR OF 'THE ISRAELl DIVISION OF matters? His knowledge could only have in Europe, I was ready to ask the Chazon AMF.CHAO, THJ-: AG! Shulchan Aruch and halacha is with you, for in order to be a gadol of eighteen had so little to show for le'1na'aseh? In Europe, there were n1any baTorah one needs to be blessed with his learning, should have been placed yeshivos that learned in this fashion. talents. But one can be born with no into a yeshiva designed to produce fine I added that if those not blessed with natural abilities, with a stopped head, baalebattim. Is that not what 'Educate outstanding abilities were forced into Lithuanian-style yeshivos, there was a danger that they would be left with nothing. They would not even emerge as solid baalebattiln, with an enjoyment of learning. My own experience in For careful attention to your the Mirrer Yeshiva \vas that many less individual needs, call us today! talented bachurim completely failed to grasp or appreciate the deep ideas they (845) 354-8445 heard. By way of contrast, those yeshivas where the style of learning was n1ore GEFEN 11t~ straightforward succeeded in producing many baalebattirn for whom learning was their principle occupation and their FI~1b~9.AL-· Registered Mortgage Brokers -·· business was secondary, and who had a NYS Dept. of Banking •

solid grasp of much of the Talmud. In ( nrporJ\l' Head<']lr¥1l'rs: 2164 V•(!Ory elvd_, • 5!.tten l'l"nd, NY 10314 n1y native Hungary, for instance, there Phone 718-983-9272 • 914-MORTGAGE were many baalebattim who rose at 3:00 973-MORTGAGE • 212-983-1000 a.n1. every morning to learn and who I ···----"---~ 0CTOBEH 2 0 0 6 I the youth according to his way' requires? gadol baTorah depended on one's merit, yeshivas. Yet, that person grew to be one of the and a grandmother's tears could be an "Know that this yeshiva definitely most respected gedolei Torah of our important part of that calculus. stands berumo she! olam" (literally, at time." The Chazon !sh devoted a great deal the height of the world), he replied. I was struck by his words, and pressed of time on that occasion to convey to "Everything outside of the yeshiva is the Chazon !sh to tell me about whom me how each boy had to be granted an subsidiary. Not only a large yeshiva he was speaking. He refused, and asked equal chance of becoming "the one in a whose value is clear to all, but every yeshiva, no matter how small - even if it is just getting started and you have never heard of it. Even that yeshiva stands at the height of the world. See to it that they can complete their building and begin learning in it." Above all, the Chazon lsh demanded of him that he recognize his own capacity to reach THE BEN TORAH: CENTER OF the heights of Torah learning - "the matter THE WORLD is not beyond you." he Chazon !sh was always ready to devote both his time and Tstrength to any question concern­ ing bnei Torah. He was a father to every yeshiva student who turned to him. He would spend hours searching for ways to help a yeshiva bachur advance in his me what purpose would be served thousand;' no matter how improbable hasn1ada, yiras Shan1ayi1n, n1iddos, and by knowing the name of the person. that outcome niay seen1. Gen1ara learning. I replied that it would be a source of He personally guided hundreds of encouragen1ent to all those who feel yeshiva bachurim. Any young bachur themselves to be lacking in talents, and THE PIVOTAL IMPORTANCE OF who found himself stymied in his spiri­ doubt their ability to achieve a high THE YESHIVA tual aliyah, or felt unable to concentrate level in Torah knowledge. If they hear for long periods, or was caught up in of so1neone who today is an adn1ired he extent to which he focused the struggle with his yeitzer hara and tabnid chachan1, and was once in exactly on yeshivas was revealed to me could not figure out how to overcon1e it, their situation, that could give them Tprior to one of my frequent trips would consult with the Chazon !sh. much encourage1nent. abroad. Before each such trip, I always He had infinite patience to listen The Chazon !sh considered what I visited the Chazon lsh to check on to any yeshiva bachur describe his had said for quite a while before reply­ whether there was anything that I need­ problems, discuss the matter, and then ing, "Despite what you say, my conclu­ ed to attend to prior to my departure. give him guidance. And at the end of sion is that it would not be appropriate Before this particular trip, the Chazon the meeting, he would invariably tell to reveal his name, for to do so might Jsh informed me that a certain yeshiva the bachur, "Return to tell me how you hurt him [in some way]:' Two or three could not complete its building for want are progressing:' The bachur would years later, I again asked him to reveal of five tons cement, and he requested report back to him, and he would tell the name of the gadol. This time he was that J help them obtain it. At that time, him to return once more, until he was definitive that it would be impermissible there was a shortage of cement in the convinced that the bachur was on the since the person had passed away in the country, and it was being rationed. right path. interim. His discretion in this matter The Chazon !sh insisted, however, that Jt was amazing! The leader of the was characteristic of his extreme care in the building could not be delayed any entire Torah world - fully occupied guarding against any form of improper longer, and once again urged me to take with writing and publishing his own speech. care of the matter prior to flying. chiddushei Torah, and whose nights At that first meeting, he also told I asked in surprise if the matter were devoted to fundamental issues me that becoming a gadol baTorah also really was one of the highest priority. confronting the entire Torah world resulted from the tears and prayers of We were speaking about a small institu· - nevertheless had time for every 14- a grandmother on behalf of her grand­ tion, which seemingly did not occupy or 15-year-old bachur who came to son. His message was that beco1ning a an important position in the wor1d of him with a kushiya in a sugya or who

38 ·------, T 1-l E J E \V I S II 0BSERVEH r-:.· -·~·--··· -- ...... I

I was having difficulty understanding respondents, and accon1panied then1 have chosen with eternal love. a particular topic. He showed every every step of the way on their spiritual At 11 :00 p.m., I will be waiting bachur infinite patience and gave hi1n as journeys. for you. much time as he needed. No wonder the The greatest riddle of all was where he One who is attached to you with bachurim felt like a beloved only child found the time. Whenever one entered love, in his presence, and developed a deep his ho1ne, he was learning. His sefarin1 A.Y. personal connection. Many of those Chazon Ish encompass all of Torah, and From the letter, it appears that it young bachurim developed over time demanded his full concentration. So is addressed to a yeshiva bachur who into outstanding tabnidei chachan1in1 where did he find the time to lead the has decided to devote himself to Torah and teachers of Torah. kla/, much less every individual who learning. No doubt, he expected the 'fhe concern he showed for every sought him out? Chazon !sh to be delighted with that /Jen Tarah was based on the words of I want to quote just one short letter decision. Yet, the Chazon !sh did not Chazal, "Nothing remains to Hakadash published in Koveitz lgros ( 13: I) in order content himself with words of praise. To Baruch Hu in this world, except for the to illustrate what went into each letter. the contrary, he begins by announcing four amos of halacha:' Everything else The Chazon !sh writes: that he must object to certain aspects was secondary. The goal and purpose of I must argue with you. I see that of his correspondent's course. And he Creation was the true !Jen Torah, and to you do not adequately value your identifies the source of those incorrect help that ben Torah develop. own capabilities, and as a conse­ decisions as deriving fron1 a too low quence, you inadvertently denigrate valuation of his own worth. the value of Torah knowledge. One \Vhy? Because the Chazon Jsh saw in A QUILL ON THE HEART who has acquired knowledge of hi1n the capacity to reach even greater the Torah walks among his fellow heights, to attain the level to which true o gain an appreciation of even human beings, and he appears to Torah learning should bring a person - a fraction of the Chazon lsh's them as just another human being. the level of a supernal being living in the Tefforts on behalf of individuals, But, in reality, he is an angel dwelling outer garb of a inere mortal.And because one need only study the collection of among mortal men. He leads a life the Chazon !sh realized that he could not his letters. At first glance, many of them of nobility and elevation beyond any reach that level learning independently, 1nay appear to be little 111orc than a few blessing or praise. apart from a group of similarly dedicated Jines. But study them in depth, as one ]'rue, your life experiences have Torah scholars, he urged him to attach studies his halachic works, and you will caused you to dedicate your years in himself to a chabura. be an1azed at his ability to give to each this world to the acquisition of Torah Above all, the Chazon lsh demanded correspondent exactly what he needed wisdom. In this, your natural abili­ of him that he recognize his own capac­ at that 1noment. ties have stood you in good stead. ity to reach the heights of Torah learning Some 500 letters were published in But Torah demands an extra degree - "the matter is not beyond you:' Kovcitz Jgros. It is fair to assun1e that of sacrifice. It is not acquired while Nor did the Chazon !sh content these represent only a fraction of the leading a "normal" life, or with the himself with a letter. Rather, he wrote letters he wrote. normal amount of effort. My heart that he was looking forward to discuss­ The Chazon !sh told me once, "I does not permit me to believe that ing the matter further in person, and don't just shake my advice out of my sitting alone, you will be able to invited the young 1nan to come to him sleeve. Each conclusion costs 1ne in acquire Torah knowledge. It is clear at 11:00 p.m., after a full day of intense blood:' For those who wrote to him, the that you will do far better learning Torah study. And we can assume that issues discussed were life dctenninative, together with a chabura, and that the Chazon lsh's guidance on the path and he related to them as if rendering a group of colleagues will help you to reaching the supernal reahns was a decision in n1atters of life and death. advance. not something he proffered in a few How much thought went in to figuring [Greatness in Torah] is not beyond 1ninutes. l'he conversation n1ust have out ho\v to save those who sought his your capacities. But the Satan (the lasted long into the night. Experiencing guidance - to guide the1n to greater Tempter) will cause you to view an the Chazon Ish's dedication to him, the hastnada or in overcon1ing the siren call obstacle of a hairsbreadth as if it young man must truly have felt himself of the yeitzer. And not one such letter, were a tall mountain. You are not the object of the Chazon lsh's love. but a thousand or 1nore. yet sufficiently armed to surmount I doubt whether it is even within our I cannot begin to fatho1n \vhere far smaller obstacles. capacity to understand how much love he found the strength. Around each I am lovesick with my great desire of Torah, love of a ben Torah, is enco1n­ Jetter, there could have been hours of to see you a ta/mid chacham. I look passed in those two words "hadavuk personal conversation, both before and forward to discussing with you per­ b'ahavasecha- one who is bound to you afterwards. He knew each of his cor- sonally the path that you desire and with love." ------"'·--·----

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WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO SHUVU:

• SHINUI PARTY MEMBERS DEMONSTRATE AGAINST SHUVU NETANYA SCHOOL (Principal leads her students and teachers into the building via a back street and rear entrance to begin Torah studies.)

• KFAR SABA MUNICIPALITY & MINISTRY OF EDUCATION THREATEN SHUVU ADMINISTRATORS WITH ARREST AND IMPRISONMENT IF SCHOOL WILL OPEN (School D opens with over 100 new students as parents volunteer to be taken to prison as Jong as their chifdren can continue to study in Shuvu)

• RECHOVOT MUNICIPALITY ISSUES BOGUS SUMMONSES TO PREVENT STUDENTS FROM SWITCHING FROM THEIR PUBLIC SCHOOLS TO SHUVU (After Mayor's visit to the school on opening day and his very positive impression, Mayor cancels citations and over 280 students attend on opening day)

• SHUVU ASHKELON CAMPUS ORDERED TO BE RAZED TO THE GROUND (Miraculously building is declared a Historic Site, protected by law from being destroyed - Shuvu given reprieve until replacement campus is found. Over 700 children are saved from assimilation)

WHAT SHUVU IS DOING FOR TORAH:

2' 0 84 NEW STUDENTS Across Eretz Yisroel, SHUVU is leading the way in overcoming obstacles to Torah values. No matter what the opposition is, or how difficult the fight is, Shuvu blazes ahead to provide an ever-increasing number of children in Eretz Yisroel with a Torah-true chinuch. With an amazing 2,084 new students country-wide this year alone, it is obvious that these efforts are not in vain!

Won't you join in helping build a Torahdike Eretz Yisroel in our Times?

·------,Yes! I want to help Shuvu lead the way in overcoming obstacles to Torah values. \ Enclosed is my Yomim Noraim contribution for the children of Shuvu:

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! ~- She continually endorses a "broader" l ~:=:%:::====: ·-. . ~ (read:moremodern)Judaismandberates /, , the yeshiva system time and time again, ) R S T 0 T H E pointing out "fallacies" and suggesting L reforms that have major implications on how the mesoraofTorah is transmitted. These suggestions are objectionable on two counts. Firstly, major alterations of the mesorn require the judgment of DITOR gedolei Yisroel, with whom Margolese has failed to consult. Secondly, after being informed (at length) of the author's dis­ enchantment with black-hat Judaism (see chapter 3), the reader is left wondering if SIM CH OS AND QUALITY OF LIFE: PRAISE FOR OFF THE DERECH: Margolese's "solutions" are products of EITHER/OR? OFF THE MARK her research, or if her research is being used to validate her conclusions. To the Editor: To the Editor: As exhausted as I was due to my In his review of Faranak Margolese's simcha schedule of this past June's Off the Derech (JO, January-February INCONCLUSIVE RESEARCH wedding season ( baruch Hashem), I '06), Rabbi Avrohom Meir Gluck found · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · read every word of Rabbi Ginzberg's the book "balanced, well researched, The cruxofMargolese's research is the article on" Simchos vs. Quality of Life" [and] gripping." I, too, read the book and extensive interviews that she conducted (May '06). it does indeed contain some fascinating with children and adults who have gone I wonder who will be the brave one insights into the off-the-derech phe- off the derech. She quotes candidly from to finally emulate the European style of nomenon, but somehow, I believe, the these interviews, giving the reader an ear- only inviting immediate family 1nem- reviewer overlooked some of the book's ful of complaints, frustrations, and angry, bers to the after-chuppa sit-down dinner. glaring shortcomings. May I point out resentful and blasphemous remarks, What a tova it would be, allowing us some of these problems? making them the foundation upon which to be mesamei'ach chassan vekalla, and most of the book rests (rendering parts still get home at a reasonable hour, to of the book not for a general readership). be with our families. LOOKING FOR REASONS Margolese admits that these interviews One more question: · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · may not reflect reality. As experienced Who invented the ridiculous rule Kids going off the derech is a most mental health professionals can testify, that siblings of the chassan!kalla (mar- elusive, multi-faceted issue, and it takes this is usually the case. Nevertheless, she ried and single) must wear an evening more than figures and statistics, to estab- argues, we need to understand what these gown, reminiscent of the bridesmaids lish the cause-and-effect of why it hap- people went through in terms of their at a church wedding? These attention- pens. It takes experience, insight, and the own experiences (pg. 16). grabbing designs are certainly not in proper perspective. True, if you are counseling someone the spirit of tzeniyus that we hear so The questions often boil down to, and helping them work through their much about. "VVhat makes the most sense?" which feelings, it is more important to know And then there is the outrageous means, "What makes the most sense to "what they went through" subjectively cost! The term "Gown Gemach" is me?" - making it necessary to rely on than what actually transpired. But when almost always a misnomer, as they one's own subjective outlook, under- your objective is to determine the real charge several hundred dollars for one standing, and values to form conclusions. causes of people going off the derech, it night's rental (plus cleaning costs, which It is imperative, therefore, that when is imperative that you know what really are easily over a hundred dollars)! searching for answers, we turn to those transpired. If there are several siblings, the costs people who have an appreciation for People often look for excuses for why are prohibitive and the stress involved our sacred value system and hashkafa they chose to deviate from a Torah life. in acquiring them is immense. (Don't (outlook), and are interested in perpetu- The decision to deviate, in effect, looks forget, they have to match the color ating this derech in the most successful for an excuse. And often it comes after scheme.) way possible. the fact, not before. Can one trust such When will this lunacy end? Faranak Margolese clearly is an intel- a rationale? A BROKENHEARTED AND BROKE PARENT ligent, firmly religious individual. But she Although many or most of her inter- ' ~FA RECENfKAILA (BARUCH H~SHEM) - neverwasamemberoftheyeshivawo:_ _viewees-wereunabletoproperlyidentify I TUE JEWISH OBSERVE!< -----, ---"'·------"- ' I their reasons for going off the derech, Margolese's research included a survey She goes on to argue that going I enough people did come up with the that she conducted on the Internet. through a period of grappling with same superficial reasons, and these There are a number of problems with belief is essential to the religious devel­ speculative patterns became Margolese's this source of information. Firstly, as opment of every Jew. The author thus truth. What really ends up happening in explained above, one cannot rely on the presents a "solution" that is clearly this book is that Margolese uses the inter­ spin of those who went off the derech. incompatible with the hashkafos of views to support her own theories. Secondly, aver seventy percent of the our mesara as taught by the leaders of poll's responses are from people who were our generation and their predecessors. brought up either secular or marginally Firstly, it is forbidden by halacha to LEAVING WHICH Orthodox (not shomer halacha, other study alternative religions and "life­ ORTHODOXY? than Shabbos and kashrus). Throughout styles;' and to engage in challenging the book, Margolese refers to the answers our G-d-given 1nesora. Secondly, the Early in the book, Margolese struggles supplied by these people in her analysis very exploratory type of education to provide evidence that there is indeed a of the yeshiva community (one of the that Margolese suggests is likely to significant number of people abandoning primary focuses of Off the Derech). This is send many children down a path of Orthodox Judaism. The premise of the like testing apples in a laboratory to find no return - hardly a solution to the book is, after all, that the off-the-derech out the properties of oranges. problem of defection from Judaism. phenomenon is an epide1nic, which According to our 1nesora, it is only after would justify implementing the drastic a strong foundation is established that changes that the author proposes for PROBLEMS WITH HER intellectual exploration of any sort is in the yeshiva system. Nevertheless, she CONCLUSIONS place. Thirdly, creating a strong basis seems to be unable to show that the of emuna in young children requires problem has reached such magnitude. 1. The following is one ofMargolese's teaching them to experience G-d as a Finally, she reverts to the argument that solutions to the off-the-derech epidemic: reality. By doing so, we are instilling a if 90% of Jews today, each of whom had "To establish strong belief, we need belief that runs deeper than any intel­ religious ancestors, are non-observant, to encourage our children to explore lectual understanding. Encouraging that is a clear indication that people arc their beliefs, ask questions, and chal­ youth to challenge this reality can run abandoning Yiddishkeit because our con­ lenge [emphasis mine] the status quo." contrary to the development of emuna temporary Torah life is inherently flawed. (pg.374) She asserts that we must let as "second nature" (emuna peshuta). l-Iere, the author assigns an assun1ed adolescents "find their own Torah" 2. One of the causes of kids going cause to a statistic that is the product of instead of imposing faith on them off the derech, according to M argolese, a multitude of factors that spans many (pg. 73). Although, she admits, this is is when teachers claim to be able to decades of Jewish history. The statistic risky, "we must walk in G-d's ways and transmit foundations of belief with has no clear relevance to the subject of allow our children free choice, just as certainty. Since we cannot be certain Off the Derech. Adam, the first child, was allowed to that G-d exists, she asserts, it is wrong Aside from personal interviews, falter" (ibid.). to "trick" children into thinking so: Not just• a cheese, a tradi tion ... Haolam, the most trusted name in Cholov Yisroel Kosher Cheese. A reputation earned through 25 years of scrupulous devotion to quality and kashruth. \'\Tith 12 delicious varieties. Haolam, a tradition you'll enjoy keeping.

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! "There is always an element of doubt the expense of meaning ... fear at the reader, finding points that he or she when it comes to our life beliefs, but expense of love" (pg. 253 ). agrees with, is likely to overlook Off we pick a side anyway- we take a leap" In sum, she totally misrepresents the the Derech's shortcomings and be lured I (page 179). yeshiva con1n1unity and educational into concurring with its conclusions. By asserting that to believe in G-d's system, giving the reader the impres­ Let us consult our own leaders, our existence, one must take a "leap of sion that it is repressive, unsophisti­ own mechanchim, and our own mental faith," the author makes a terrible cated, and out of touch with reality, health professionals who are in tune error. We are, in fact, commanded to when any visitor to yeshivos cannot with daas Torah, on matters that are KNOW that there is a G-d: "Veyadata but be invigorated by the pervasive clearly of a hashkafa nature. hayom vahasheivosa el levavecha ki atmosphere, permeated with a joyful V\Thile the reviewer found "her work Hashem hu haElokim ... " (Devarim sense of purpose and dedication to a must-read for anyone who works ... 4,39). There are countless authorita­ personal growth. with Orthodox ... youth under threat;' I tive sources stating this fundamental Although her criticisms are stated would strongly limit that endorsement halacha (see, for example, Rambam, in a universal fashion, they are almost for the reasons outlined above. Hilchos Yesodei HaTorah 1:1; Ramchal, always illustrated with stories of yeshi­ Y AIR 5POITER beginning of Da'as Tevunos, etc ... ), and va/Bais Yaakov students whose par­ Kiryat Sefer this is how it has been for millennia. In ents/teachers/communities exhibited her flawed understanding, Margolese undesirable behavior. RABBI SPOLTER IS A REBBI AT MOSDOS KESHER, misrepresents a basic foundation of t\ Yf·:RUSllA/.AY/M~BASED YESHIVA FOR AMERICAN Yiddishkeit. YOUTH AT RISK. DUE TO SPACE UMlTATIONS, RABB! Sro1:rn~·s I.ETTER DOt:S NOT APPEAR IN ITS ('NTJRETY.

3. Page after page, Margolese makes IN SUMMARY AoornoNA!.LY, SOME OF THE EXAMPLES THAT HE unfounded, sweeping statements. For CITES OF INAPPROPRIATE MATERIAL FOUND IN OFF example: In conclusion, within the 400 pages nu: DIOUECllWERE DEEMED UNFIT FOR PUBl.JCAT!ON "[They] stress mitzvot bein adam of her book, Margolese occasionally lN JQ. THE lJNEDITEO VERSION IS AVAILABLE BY laMakom and ignore the interpersonal hits on some important points and WnJT!NG TO RABBI SPOLTlCR AT SPOLTERS ACTCOM. NET.II .. mitzvot." eloquently presents well thought-out "[They] focus on everything else analyses that are on the mark, as at the expense of hashkafa, truth at indicated in Rabbi Gluck's review. Jn light of all the aforementioned objec­ tions, however, these morsels of truth Gutv· are hardly sufficient to validate the Pl.NTll• book as a whole. In fact, one of the Experienced Shadchan greatest dangers of Off the Derech is for all age groups ~·~'"''"~""'"'·"'··-:·;-" that its good points and objectionable OAV,C,S''lr,CC V "'""0"'" 718.338.1765 • Pager 917 .486.5655 material are interspersed. 1~he average You can! Just caLl The Yitti Leibel "I wish I could Helpline. HOURS: Monday-Friday ...... Sam -12pm speak to a Monday-Thursday ...... 8pm -l lpn1 Sunday ...... 9am - l 2pm, 9p1n -11 pm -~ 718-HELP-NOW frum therapist 'l;lti' (718) 435-7669 Chfrago ...... (800) HELP-023 Lakewood ...... (732) 363-1010 on the phone Cleveland ...... (888) 209-8079 .... (410) 578-1111 Detro;t...... (877) 435-7611 without giving San D;ego ...... (866) 385-0348 Tornnto ...... (416) 784-1271 The Rebbetzin Phytli~ Weinberg Branch of the Yitti Leibel Helpline i1"l' o)i•11),11 111:1 7:-t1Dt:' ·1 n:i N't:'rt ;rn nDt'J ·1';r~·';i 1;r'J\:'J"1 ~--K K' ;rn.''°ll my name." IH' i1N.1J lrT i1WD 'l p fl''l"Cn 'f 1:-T,'.:'J'! Jl't' •;; 11'.'>0J) Dedicated by Mr. & Mrs. Shmuel Boruch Wilhelm

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