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Q43-44 What Brings Most Joy and Most Pain

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Q43-44 What Brings Most Joy and Most Pain A Survey of the Modern Orthodox Jewish Community in the United States September 2017 Q43. What gives the most satisfaction, joy or meaning to your life as an Orthodox / Observant Jew? (Pages 1-36) and Q44. What, if anything, causes you the most pain or unhappiness as an Orthodox / Observant Jew? (Pages 37-86) Below are large samples of substantive responses to these open-ended question. The briefest comments are generally not included, as the gist of brief sentiments is well-reflected in the data tabulations. A NOTE ON ANONYMITY: The responses are presented verbatim, without corrections of spelling or grammar. We value respondents’ anonymity very highly and treat it with the greatest respect and caution. To that end, all potentially identifying information (such as names of cities, shuls, rabbis, or other information that might identify a respondent) has been edited for purposes of anonymity [edits may be indicated by square brackets]. Please contact Nishma Research if you have any questions or comments on this matter. Q43. What gives the most satisfaction, joy or meaning to your life as an Orthodox / Observant Jew? • I love my religion and community. I am blessed to be • Davening at an appropriate pace (Not too fast) and in a able to raise my children in such a committed reasonably quiet setting (Minimal to no talking) and community- both synagogue and schools. Shabbat is hearing torah based, intellectually stimulating d'var wonderful but there is so much torah learning going on torahs on Shabbos morning and on Shabbos Shuva and during the week as well. Shabbos Hagadol. Secondly, being successful as a • friday night carlebach minyan and friday night meals parent in transmitting the observant way of life to my with less observant people, showing them the beauty children. of shabbat. musical havdalah- slow shira as shabbat • Ritual, tradition, family ad community, and the integrity ebbs away. of the halachic system as a way of looking at how I live • Although being an Orthodox Jew is in theory very my life important to me, I am supremely disappointed with the • The Torah itself, the values and role models of those actual outcome of being one. Nothing gives me who deeply understand from years of study, the rituals, satisfaction, meaning, or joy as an Orthodox Jew. the beauty of Shabbat. The depth of the meaning of the • Family who maintains a Torah observant lifestyle, Shema. My friends. community with same values and beliefs, Talmud • 1.Private prayers (not really shul, more davening by Torah, an elequent and provocative Rabbi. myself at home or in times of need) and the spirituality • i know that i can talk to my Creator anytime i want I have nurtured in myself to connect with God. 2. The about anything. Community pulls together to help in ritual of Shabbat. This is something that is undoubtedly crisis. i know others care deeply about my family. positive and holy and sacred to me. 3. The idea that my grandparents and great grandparents practiced these • sense of meaning and direction in life. presence of G-d same rituals. Connects me to my history and ancestors in all aspects of life is tremendous comfort. Orthodoxy and I hope to my children. 4. The community. I recently provides source of consolation in hard times and moved to a small college town outside of NYC for appreciation in good times. Friendship and community graduate school and the jewish community is adds sense of belonging. undoubtedly what made me feel welcomed and at • Having the privilege of learning and observing Torah home right away and mitzvot and watching our grandchildren nature Meaningful Torah study, communal strength and into Torah observant people • enrichment, deep eternal values that provide guidance • The search for truth, the beauty in uncovering and on education, family, etc. living in judaism's values and ideal lifestyle(s), the wisdom and the pursuit of knowledge and meaning, the • Being part of a community, and having a mesorah to draw from as I navigate life and its challenges. My sense of community, the relationships. emunah, and knowing its communally sanctioned to place Hashem at the center of my life. – 1 – • I am frum, I do mitzvot, and try to the best of my ability been thinking a lot about this recently, and wondering to follow Halachah. I appreciate the community, the if and how I can access those feelings now. commitment to something higher to myself, and a • Being a part of a community of individuals that value cultural tradition that is intellectually and physically and practice a tradition that has been passed down embodied. through generations. • my daily life; doing mitzvot with proper kavannah - • Raising my children with the same traditions I grew up creating G-d awareness in my life - seeing my daughters with, but with more understanding and emphasis. (I did get excited about their yahadut torah learning!! being not grow up Orthodox/Observant.) part of community of spiritual seekers • Learning Torah (most specifically Tanach) and coming • I enjoy feeling part of a community that aspires to the up with my own thoughts about it. Finding ideals embodied in the Torah and carries on the corroboration for my ideas in works that have already traditions of the Jewish people and Israel. been written. Shabbat and chagim with my husband. • The discipline of humility before God that is observance • Being part of a community, going to shul. Having gone to Jewish law and not blind adherence to earthly to Stern and building a huge network of others who passions have similar goals to mine. • I really appreciate the set of morals and values (e.g. • Spending time with friends and family on Shabbos. We education, active care for others, community) that I especially love cooking for others and having people gained through my Modern Orthodox upbringing. While over as guests. I do not think that a religious upbringing is the only way • The most satisfaction I find is from the tight knit and to gain these values, I think that it is one route to do so. supportive community that Modern Orthodoxy • Shabbat, holidays, texts saturated with richness, depth, provides. that contain and multifaceted approaches to • Travelling with students to Israel on birthright and understanding the world and God. celebrating Shavuot for the first time in their life. • Delving into matters of Torah and their implications on Learning Tanach, telling stories in my sons school , my life, Davening, the community coming together for dancing with the Torah on Simchat Torah, drinking on spiritual exercises such as learning and singing Zmirot Purim, having a Shabbos party with my kids, getting and Shabbat dinners thank you e-mails and questions about my weekly Dvar • The invitation to use all my faculties - intellectual, Torah, finding a new understanding or explanation to a emotional, physical, creative - in service of Hashem. Pasuk or story or Parsha that I have learned 100 times, Tefillah. Good conversation. Beautiful clothing. A sense building a Sukkah, bringing food to the hungry via of meaning that transcends the material. A community Tomchei Shabbat, seeing a room full of people gather built around ideas and living by them. on a Wednesday night at 9 PM to learn Kabbalah, that • having a community where I can feel my full self and feeling in the depths of my soul when I am walking in not have to minimize or hide my love of judaism and all the woods that I am connected to the infinite and that of its facets and laws, or hide my discomfort at some all life and beings are connected, that meal after a fast, things. i love that orthodoxy allows for people to be the smell of bissamim at havdallaha and the Etrog on fully observant while still questioning and that is not a Sukkot, going to sleep after teaching for 6 straight problem hours on Shavuot, my son asking me about the parsha, getting feedback from my students about some Jewish • Living an Orthodox lifestyle gives me a connection to wisdom they incorporated in to their life, visiting Israel, God. It gives me direction and purpose. love the seeing hebrew everywhere in Israel, seeing an F16 fly community that comes with life as an Orthodox Jew. I over my head in Israel, seeing the look on my sons face always have a support system. I love Shabbat; it is a when he finds the afikomen, seeing my sons Jewish time to disconnect with work, technology and other craft projects, going to shul with my son and my father concerns and focus on those around me. during birkat cohanim, going to a yom iyun on Tanach, • I don't feel this way in my current community, but I dancing at my friends weddings, making a funny speech remember being a counselor in a Bnei Akiva camp. at a bris, hearing a funny speech at a bris, hearing a Feeling the spirituality emanate from Friday night eulogy, hearing a good drasha, hearing a good story, davening and dancing, and having the sense of an open hearing a good song or niggun, Jewish art, and accepting community, gave me a lot of joy. I've • Being part of a community that talks about values. It is especially meaningful because these are the values that – 2 – have been discussed and passed down by my ancestors • The community - but it is hard to find a good chevra. for over 1000 years. Takes a lot of time, but if you put in the effort, it makes • Living according to the rhythm of halacha together with a world of difference my community.
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