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Kol Hamishtakker Kol Hamishtakker Ingredients Kol Hamishtakker Volume III, Issue 5 February 27, 2010 The Student Thought Magazine of the Yeshiva 14 Adar 5770 University Student body Paul the Apostle 3 Qrum Hamevaser: The Jewish Thought Magazine of the Qrum, by the Qrum, and for the Qrum Staph Dover Emes 4 Reexamining the Halakhot of Maharat-hood Editors-in-Chief The Vatikin (in Italy) 4 The End of an Era Sarit “Mashiah” Bendavid Shaul “The Enforcer” Seidler-Feller Ilana Basya “Tree Pile” 5 Cherem Against G-Chat Weitzentraegger Gadish Associate Editors Ilana “Good Old Gad” Gadish Some Irresponsible Feminist 7 A Short Proposal for Female Rabbis Shlomo “Yam shel Edmond” Zuckier (Pseudonym: Stephanie Greenberg) Censorship Committee Jaded Narrative 7 How to Solve the Problem of Shomer R’ M. Joel Negi’ah and Enjoy Life Better R’ Eli Baruch Shulman R’ Mayer Twersky Nathaniel Jaret 8 The Shiddukh Crisis Reconsidered: A ‘Plu- ral’istic Approach Layout Editor Menachem “Still Here” Spira Alex Luxenberg 9 Anu Ratzim, ve-Hem Shkotzim: Keeping with Menachem Butler Copy Editor Benjamin “Editor, I Barely Even Know Her!” Abramowitz Sheketah Akh Katlanit 11 New Dead Sea Sect Found Editors Emeritus [Denied Tenure (Due to Madoff)] Alex Luxenberg 13 OH MY G-DISH!: An Interview with Kol R’ Yona Reiss Hamevaser Associate Editor Ilana Gadish Alex Sonnenwirth-Ozar Friedrich Wilhelm Benjamin 13 Critical Studies: The Authorship of the Staph Writers von Rosenzweig “Documentary Hypothesis” Wikipedia Arti- A, J, P, E, D, and R Berkovitz cle Chaya “Peri Ets Hadar” Citrin Rabbi Shalom Carmy 14 Torah u-Media: A Survey of Stories True, Jake “Gush Guy” Friedman Historical, and Carmesian Nicole “Home of the Olympics” Grubner Nate “The Negi’ah Guy” Jaret Chaya Citrin 15 Kol Hamevater: A New Jewish Thought Ori “O.K.” Kanefsky Magazine of the Yeshiva University Student Alex “Grand Duchy of” Luxenberg Body Emmanuel “Flanders” Sanders Yossi “Chuent” Steinberger Noam Friedman 15 CJF Winter Missions Focus On Repairing Jonathan “’Lil ‘Ling” Zirling the World Disgraced Former Staph Writers Dr. Fish 16 One Jew, Two Jew Yoni “See Jay Eff Junior” Brandler Anonymous 16 Dr. Seuss’ “The Matter with Madda” Webmeister, Shlit”a Ben Kandel, N”Y Dr. Shmuess 17 “Bistu Modernish?”/ “Are You Modern Or- thodox?”: A Cautionary Tale (with a Bit of Cover Design Social Commentary) from the Vimsical Velt Yehezkel “Carlton” Carl “Carlson” of Dr. Schmuess A Newswriter with No Bias 21 Panel Convened on the Topic of Coveting About Coal Hammy Vasser Wives Coal Hammy Vasser was established two and a half years ago by a few guys searching for meaning and philophosy. They embarked on a journey of Yossi Steinberger 21 Cholent: A Short Story supererogatory and biblical proportions, spanning the globe in their search for a Torah u-Madda belief system that would ennable and ennoble, ennible Moishie Dokterlawyerstein 22 Ultra-Orthodoxee Meets Ultra-Orthodoxtree and enneble, enfeeble like a shtiebel, and be filling like a fliegel. In this en- deavor, they entrusted members (and memberettes) of both campi as their trusted servants and steeds, heeding both philosophy and pragmatism, Ha- This magazine may or may not contain words of Torah, lakhah and melakhah, and all other things goodly in their quest for the heylige grail of TuM. Oh, and on Purim they wrote articles making fun of everything depending on which of the Rashei Yeshivah you hold YU, with a kernel of truth so strong it could never be ignored. Kol ha-Mish- takker, all who get smashed, is meant to connect you to hundreds of years of like, and please treat it accordingly (i.e., either respect Hamevaser tradition in the Purim spirit of nikhnas yayin, yatsa sod, and we hope you are all the (spiritually) richer for it. it or burn it). 2 www.kolhamevaser.com Volume III, Issue 5 Purim Issue Qrum Hamevaser: The Jewish Thought Magazine of Hammurabi the Qrum, by the Qrum, and for the Qrum Halocho Yomis BY: Paul the Apostle found a Haredi lifestyle-dropout, several KBY- turned-Gush guys, and even a few subscribers As is well known in yeshivah circles, to the Talmudic maxim “These and those are i See Tiqqunei Zohar, tiqqun 21, the source of Purim is a time for reflection, both on one’s the words of the Living God.”xi Others point to the adage we all learned in elementary school past deeds and on the events of the day itself the lack of faculty oversight, arguing that col- that Yom ha-Kippurim is only ke-Purim in its (assuming one retains the necessary level of lege students should not be entrusted with the religious significance. This comparison takes consciousness to do so).i With that in mind, the awesome power of editorship and publication. on new meaning for anyone who has experi- Editorial Staff of Kol Hamevaser has decided Because of these concerns and the above- enced the Wilf Campus Purim Hagigah with it proper to conduct a thorough heshbon ha-ne- mentioned disturbing trends of qrumqayt in the its uplifting, morally edifying entertainment fesh and viddui at this point in the year, survey- ranks of Kol Hamevaser, the magazine’s edi- and festivities. ing its many successes and many more failures torship has decided to implement some slight ii Ilana Gadish, “‘He Made a Snail, Which is in an effort to build towards the future. policy changes. Not only is the Staff being Helpful for Curing a Scab…’ Medical Animal Thank God, we have, so far, made some completely revamped and started afresh, but no Testing and Halakhah,” Kol Hamevaser 3,1 impressive strides in educating the Yeshiva one from anywhere to the left of ToMo and the (September 2009): 19-20. University student population through interest- Mir will be allowed on it.xii In addition, the of- iii Nicole Grubner, “‘Am le-Badad Yishkon:’ ing and thought-provoking articles on topics ficial language of the magazine will be nehep- Must the Singular Nation Always Reside ranging from the ethics of medical animal ach to a more heymishe shprach than the Alone?,” Kol Hamevaser 3,2 (November testingii to the singularity of the Jewish tomei, metuov one that it currently publishes 2009): 10-11. people,iii from the nature of biblical interpreta- iv Ori Kanefsky, “Bible Study: Interpretation tioniv to the obsoleteness of the Hasid-Mit- and Experience,” Kol Hamevaser 3,3 (Decem- “If a judge tries a case, reaches a decision, and nagged divide.v Authors have expressed ber 2009): 19-20. presents his judgment in writing; and later it themselves learnedly, passionately, and mean- v Periel Shapiro, “Hasidim: The Aharonim of is discovered that his decision was in error, ingfully throughout their pieces and have con- Torat Nistar,” Kol Hamevaser 3,4 (February and it was his own fault, he shall pay twelve tributed to a vibrant, intellectual discourse on 2010): 14-15. times the fine set by him in the case and be re- campus in ways heretofore unknown to YU. vi Some attribute the increases to an article by moved from the judge’s bench.” People talk about Kol Hamevaser wherever Nesanel Ferret, “A Halakhic Approach to they are – during hazarat ha-Shats, during Dropping Shemirat Negi’ah Like It’s Hot,” but We see from this makor the very important “batling time” time in the beit, and even during others claim it has more to do with the uptick chashivus of being very makpid on what you those precious few moments in between in male-female havrutot at non-denomina- write. As Reb Chayyim once said, not every- classes – because it has become a symbol of tional yeshivot in the New York area. In any thing should be thought; not everything tolerance, intellectual honesty, and freedom of case, the advent of women’s ordination cannot thought should be said; not everything said expression. have helped this process – “ki Rabba ha-‘azu- should be written down; and not everything And yet, the publication is by no means vah be-kerev ha-’Arets.” written down should be published. And if this perfect, nor is it universally liked. Indeed, vii See Emmanuel Sanders, “Be Not Overly is true for merely publishing, kal vachoymer while Kol Hamevaser’s openness has facili- Modest: Tseni’ut and the Inability to Speak how much it’s true legabei pesak din. This is tated dialogue on a whole range of important About Sex,” Kol Hamevaser 3,2 (November the yesoid behind R. Hammurabi’s halocho of issues in the Orthodox and broader Jewish 2009): 13-14. It should be noted that while the the day. communities, it has also, along the way, led to author does not explicitly endorse these behav- some unexpectedly negative results. The iors in his piece, his mention of them has been paper’s detractors point to the fact that, during taken by some as implicit agreement, a strategy this year alone, Kol Hamevaser articles have in, so that no gayimxiii will be able to partake. adopted by some local newspapers in encouraged an unprecedented amount of de- The paper will primarily publish kol koreis (mis)construing public figures’ words. viant behavior and thought. The length of lines from the Rashei Yeshivah as well as Friday viii For more information on this, please contact at miqva’ot, number of tefillin dates, and the night divrei Torah and it will, farshteyt zich, be [email protected]. rate of pre-marital pregnancy have all shot up under the strict hashgoche of the RIETS ad- ix Implicated articles include anything written this year.vi More and more people have been ministration. Even the most noki of the by Reuven “Benedict” Rand, Eli Putterman, caught sneaking under their rebbe’s beds to nekiyyei hadaas Shebiyerusholoyim will be and/or AJ Berkovitz.
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