Action and Reflection: The Emotional Dance between Consultant and Client _______________ Manfred F. R. KETS DE VRIES 2009/21/EFE/IGLC Action and Reflection: The Emotional Dance between Consultant and Client by Manfred F.R. Kets De Vries* * The Raoul de Vitry d’Avaucourt Clinical Professor of Leadership Development, Director, INSEAD Global Leadership Center (IGLC), INSEAD, France and Singapore. Ph: +33 1 60 72 41 55, Email:
[email protected] A working paper in the INSEAD Working Paper Series is intended as a means whereby a faculty researcher's thoughts and findings may be communicated to interested readers. The paper should be considered preliminary in nature and may require revision. Printed at INSEAD, Fontainebleau, France. Kindly do not reproduce or circulate without permission. Executive Summary In this article, I explore subtle, mostly out-of-awareness dialogues between consultants and clients and highlight how consultants use themselves as an “instrument” when dealing with their clients—using their own reactions to help interpret what the client is trying to transmit to them. To deconstruct these dialogues, I touch on the meaning of transference and countertransference, processes originating from early mother-infant communication and essential to the ability “to listen with the third ear.” I discuss four types of transference-countertransference interface between consultant and client and identify the indicators to which consultants need to pay attention when dealing with their clients. I also explore dysfunctional communication patterns. 2 Behavior is a mirror in which every one displays his own image. —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Language is surely too small a vessel to contain these emotions of mind and body that have somehow awakened a response in the spirit.