Volume 1, Issue 1

7 Annoying Things Toddlers Do That Are Actually Good

For Them By Katie M. McLaughlin

I have only been a mom for two years but I can which opens the door for you to offer the already say this with certainty: Loving your reassurance he needs, which in turn will make children does not mean they won’t get under your him less clingy next time. skin sometimes. 5. Throw temper tantrums. Bottling up anger Alexis Cordova, M.S. Their aggravating ways, which are probably and frustration isn’t good for anyone, toddlers ingrained from birth, are at full throttle in included. Your child is at the beginning stage of Family & Consumer Sciences toddlerhood, when meltdowns and chaos and battles a journey we’re all on: to learn healthy skills Liberty County Extension Agent of wills are the norm rather than the exception. and coping mechanisms for dealing with difficult emotions instead of just repressing But there’s a silver lining. Despite the fact that they them. That’s not to say parents should give in drive you bonkers, these seven exasperating toddler Texas A&M AgriLife Extension to the screaming kicking and flailing-rather, behaviors are actually really important to your Service - Liberty County keep your cool, figure out what’s really going on child’s learning and emotional development. with your child, and remember that it’s an 501 Palmer Ave.. So remind yourself of these the next time you’re opportunity to teach them about dealing with Liberty, TX 77575 ready to rip your hair out! anger constructively. (936) 334-3230 1. Make a total mess. A study published in 6. Refuse to sit still. Our kids’ natural desire Developmental Science suggests that mashing for movement could keep them healthier oatmeal between your hands or flinging chunky throughout their lives. In a 2005 study applesauce across the room can be very educa- published in the journal Science, researchers at tional for the under 3 set. Researchers observed the Mayo Clinic identified a connection over 70 toddlers and found between fidgeting and the number on the scale. that those who make a total Not surprisingly, people who mess with their food were then had trouble sitting still tended able to learn the words to weigh less than those who associated with those foods were completely comfortable faster and more accurately. staying off their feet. 2. Insist on reading the same 7. Dwadle. A bit of dilly-dallying is good for him, book over and over again. Repetition is and for the rest of the family too. In a world Services Offered Include: helpful for toddlers’ speech development; where we all feel chronically rushed, with our hearing the same words and phrases over and brains as crammed as our calendars, a child  Parent/Child Coaching over again helps to cement them into their rambling around the house talking to himself growing vocabulary. Plus, little kids find such instead of putting on his shoes is sometimes a  Relationship Education joy in knowing what comes next. needed reality check. He needs to slow down, and so do I.  Meal/Menu Make Over 3. Answer every single question with “NO.” It’s pretty common for toddlers to overuse the  Community Leadership word “NO” and it can be seriously frustrating for parents. But try to remember that tucked  Family Walking inside all that seemingly unwarranted defiance Challenge is a child who is just developing her self-identity. She’s on an amazing journey of  2 Hour Food Handlers self-discovery that involves the painful Certification realization that her needs and wants are sometimes contrary to her caregiver’s. Moral of the story: Toddlers can drive us nuts, but  Budgeting and Housing that’s often a good thing because the stuff that 4. Cling to you for dear life. A young child who makes us batty is integral to their mental and Resources clings to mommy and daddy is a emotional development. Even so, some days they’re child who feels safe and secure lucky they’re also adorable! with them, which is a very good thing. What’s more, that tight grip around your neck is your To read the full article please visit pickanytwo.net toddler learning how to communicate to you that he feels uneasy in a situation–

Educational programs of the Texas A&M AgriLife Extension Service are open to all people without regard to race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, disability, genetic information or veteran status. The Texas A&M University System, U.S. Department of Agriculture, and the County Commissioners Courts of Texas Cooperating. Individuals with disabilities who require an auxiliary aid, service or accommodation in order to participate in an event are encouraged to contact the Liberty County Extension Office at 936-334-3230 as soon as possible to advise us of the auxiliary aid or service that you will require. 7 Steps for Apologizing to Your Child By Amy McCready

Two minutes after you see a blur of that way? Just don’t use this as a you. I need to work harder to use my Oliver and Emma scream through the chance to place blame (“I’m sorry I calm voice, so I put sticky notes around hallway, you hear a major crash in the yelled, but I wouldn’t have hurt my the house to remind me. Can you living room. Immediately, you start foot if you had picked up your forgive me? I’d like to talk about how berating the kids for running in the cars.”) we can fix this problem and move house. You head into the room, still 3. Apologize for the action. Point forward.” yelling, only to find the cat sitting on out which action of yours was the end table where the lamp once sat. inappropriate and explain why. Remember, apologizing to our kids You turn around to find your kids Your kids will learn that they can’t when we make mistakes, as difficult as staring at you with hurt faces. What do act that way, either. it may be sometimes, sets our kids up you do? 4. Recognize your child’s feelings. to recognize their own shortcomings Show them that you understand and helps them learn to apologize as We all make mistakes, and we need to they were hurt or scared. If your well. It also shows them it’s okay to teach our kids—by our own example— action was sparked by something make mistakes. Kids that don’t to own up to those faults, even when your kids did or didn’t do, make experience much failure have trouble it’s really embarrassing for us. Or even sure they understand that your knowing what to do when problems do when we feel provoked by something affection is not based on them arise—they don’t have the confidence our kids have done—like when we meeting your expectations. to take risks, they won’t courageously finally lose it after listening to our kids 5. Share how you plan to avoid face their problems head-on or roll with whine about something for 10 minutes. this situation in the future. the punches. In the long run, making The most important thing to remember This is a great opportunity to teach mistakes and learning from them gives is to stay calm and be sincere with your your child how to learn from our our kids more self-confidence and apology. These tips can help the next mistakes and improve ourselves. resiliency. And one way they can learn time you need to apologize to your kids: Be specific in what you aim to do to this is by watching their parents take keep from blaming others or responsibility for their own mistakes 1. Own your feelings and take yelling, for example. and learning from them. responsibility for them. It’s okay 6. Ask for forgiveness. This can be to be frustrated and it’s okay to be as simple as “Can you forgive me?” upset sometimes—we tell our kids 7. Focus on amends and this all the time. Just remember solutions. Offer to discuss and that how we respond to those work out solutions to the issue feelings isn’t always okay. It’s not with your child. okay to yell or slam doors. Your kids are watching—so don’t react Put these steps together, and you have in a way that you would not want an apology that would go something them to emulate. like this: “I felt frustrated when you 2. Connect the feeling to the weren’t ready for school on time, but it action. Explain in your apology was not okay for me to let out my anger why you felt the way you did. What by yelling at you. I’m so sorry I yelled. happened that caused you to react I’m sure that was scary and hurtful for

How to Raise Resilient Kids By Kara Carrero — karacarrero.com

Last week our family had plans that emotions and challenges they have. child’s mid-twenties. fell through and when we mentioned Resiliency teaches kids to be problem Instead, ask “how” questions. this to our 4-year-old happily solvers in the face of tough situations “You left your bike out in the rain declared “That’s ok. You don’t have so they can find a good solution. and it rusted. How will you fix it?” to apologize to me. I understand.” Asking “how” questions will encour- Allow for appropriate risk. age them to figure out the answers I sat there in a little bit of disbelief, Encourage problem-solving skills they need on their own. expecting to have to squash the that will help them feel confident in meltdowns and fires that I just knew their choices. If your child is nervous Teach your kids to think in would burst onto the scene at any about doing something they really specifics. given time. want to do, like going to sleep over Get them thinking about what they for the first time, help them figure need to know to deal with situations. “But you might need to apologize to out how to deal with their nervous- Ask them to think about “where they Emma,” Jenn Said. “You know, ness. are going”, “what they will need for because she’s a baby.” • Ask your child to think about a an activity”, “what will they say to way they can practice getting someone they are meeting for the It’s these moments that I have hope used to being away from home. first time”. Asking them specific in these hard days of parenthood • Help them brainstorm ideas. questions instead of providing them that striving to raise resilient kids, • Give them the opportunity to the answers will allow them to figure while difficult, has a payoff. In fact, figure out what will work best for things out on their own. maybe by allowing my children to them. work through their emotions and Don’t provide all the answers. working so diligently to help them Don’t accommodate their every Instead of answering every question understand how and why things need. your child has, start using the happen the way they do, they are No matter if you’re raising a toddler phrase “I don’t know.” or “How can learning to more appropriately or teen, letting our children struggle we find the answer to that together?” handle disappointment even as is actually a blessing and an young kids. important life skill they should Using these phrases will help your encounter before growing up. child to learn to accept uncertainty So, I started thinking of all the ways and think about how they can deal we encourage our girls to bounce Overprotecting a child can fuel with challenges. back from tough situations and all anxieties because they tend to the ways I forced my high school become afraid of the unknown even Let your kids make mistakes. students to work through their more. Instead, help your child deal Failure is not the end of the world. challenges. with their anxieties by giving them Or as the sign in my middle history options or helping them understand teacher’s room declared: “Failure is How to raise a resilient and a bigger picture. not fatal.” confident child While we might like to think that On many occasions, we have had to It’s a great place to start learning childhood is all fun and games, the tell our 4-year-old that we had a what doesn’t work. Letting kids truth is, it isn’t exactly stress-free. certain plan, but if it didn’t pan out, make mistakes can be painful for Kids have to learn to overcome ob- it was not in our control to fix it. parents. But it helps your child learn stacles even as toddlers, take tests how to fix problems and make better when they’re older, learn new Avoid “why” questions. choices next information, change schools and “Why” questions aren’t helpful when time. neighborhoods if there’s a move, deal teaching problem-solving skills. Most with bullies, and make new friends. likely, your child won’t know “why” they did something so they won’t Teaching our kids to be resilient know how to respond. It’s part of the helps them to cope with these growing brain and the prefrontal changes and stresses that they cortex is in charge of making encounter. And it helps them more rational choices and overall decision- appropriately deal with hard making...and that part of the brain actually is not fully developed until a Tips on Having Tough Conversations With Your Kids By OutsideTheBoxMom

Addressing tough topics with your kids head-on can be spotlight. But, we can often accomplish so much more hard. Here are some tips for each topic you might have to by working as a team. address. 6. Peer Pressure– As tweens and teens spend time with 1. Sibling Rivalry - Kids argue for lots of different friends and other kids, they can be exposed to things reasons. My approach is simple. Treat your kids as like tobacco, alcohol, and drugs. I believe it is important individuals, praise them when they get it right, let kids to talk to our kids about these topics early before their work out their own battles, be available for mediation, opinions are heavily shaped and influenced by their and emphasize what they have in common. peers. 2. Responsibility - The best way to develop responsibil- 7. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)- With so many tweens ity is to give them responsibility. Even though summer and teens having cell phones, most families having should feel different than the school year, I still require internet at home, and the constant practice of my oldest to spend time/play with his younger sister oversharing, kids are striving to fit in, be invited, and and keep his chores. This includes making his bed and to have everything they see. One way to help your kids general upkeep of his room, vacuuming the common realize they have many things to be thankful for is to areas, emptying the trash bins in each room, and show them that there are other kids who are in need. taking the trash can to the street each week. Take them along when you donate old toys and clothes, choose a charity to support and do it together with your 3. Following the Rules - Rules are put in place to keep kid. you safe. Period. If your child is at home alone and someone knocks on the door or rings the doorbell, the 8. Self Improvement - In my post Why Moms Make best course of action is to pretend that they aren’t Great Entrepreneurs, I shared that I learn skills at home. Other rules for being home alone might include work that I can apply at home like budgeting, checking in with you when they arrive home, not delegating and teamwork. I also have experience as a bringing others home from school with them, not mom that I can bring to work like being a leader, answering the door and telephone, and rules about taking responsibility, multitasking and learning the what to eat (not all junk food), what to do (homework, most efficient way to get something done with limited not video games) and what to do in an emergency. resources. These same principles apply to kids, too. They are more excited to learn when they see how 4. Self-Love– So many kids lack the confidence to start a homework assignments transfer to real life skills. new hobby, try a new sport, or make a new friend. They are often waiting for someone to tell them it’s okay to 9. Body Image - Somewhere, somehow kids become do something. I would encourage you to tell your kids self-conscious of their bodies. Often, seeing pudge and and any other kids you have influence over that it’s ugliness where no one else can. These inadequate okay to come up with an idea and give it a try. Don’t let feelings snowball and they begin scrutinizing every fear or waiting for permission hold them back. blemish or misplaced strand of hair. 5. Teamwork - I don’t know if it’s normal or if our society has somehow encouraged it, but so often we see To read the full article please visit others as competition. Maybe it’s the small number of http://outsidetheboxmom.com/9-helpful-tips-really-tough- slots offered or maybe it’s the need to be in the conversations-kids/ .