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Mel says, “This is swell! But it’s not ideal—it’s a free, grainy PDF.” Attain your ideals! Purchase a nicer, printable PDF of this issue. Or nicest of all, subscribe to the paper version of the Annals of Improbable Research (six issues per year, delivered to your doorstep!). To purchase pretty PDFs, or to subscribe to splendid paper, go to http://www.improbable.com/magazine/ ANNALS OF Special Issue: The 2008 Ig® Nobel Prizes Smart Slime, Coca-Cola Contraceptive, You Bastard… 09> NOVEMBER|DECEMBER 2008 (volume 14, number 6) $6.50 US|$9.50 CAN 027447088921 The journal of record for inflated research and personalities Annals of © 2008 Annals of Improbable Research Improbable Research ISSN 1079-5146 print / 1935-6862 online AIR, P.O. Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238, USA “Improbable Research” and “Ig” and the tumbled thinker logo are all reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off. 617-491-4437 FAX: 617-661-0927 www.improbable.com [email protected] EDITORIAL: [email protected] The journal of record for inflated research and personalities Co-founders Commutative Editor VP, Human Resources Circulation Director Marc Abrahams Stanley Eigen Robin Abrahams Katherine Meusey Alexander Kohn Northeastern U. Research Researchers Circulation (Counter-clockwise) Editor Associative Editor Kristine Danowski, Martin James Mahoney Marc Abrahams Mark Dionne Gardiner, Jessica Girard, Webmaster [email protected] Tom Gill, Mary Kroner, Dissociative Editor Julia Lunetta Wendy Mattson, Srinivasan Admin Rose Fox Rajagopalan, Tom Roberts, General Factotum (web) Lisa Birk Contributing Editors Naomi Uesaka,Tom Ulrich Jesse Eppers European Bureau Otto Didact, Stephen Drew, General Factotum Technical Eminence Grise Kees Moeliker, Bureau Chief Emil Filterbag, Karen Hopkin, Carrie Gallo Dave Feldman Natuurhistorisch Museum Alice Kaswell, Nick Kim, Richard Rotterdam Lederer, Katherine Lee, Bissel Design and Art Art Director emerita [email protected] Mango, Steve Nadis, Nan Swift, Geri Sullivan/PROmote Peaco Todd Steve Farrar, Edinburgh Desk Chief Tenzing Terwilliger, Marina Communications Webmaster emerita Erwin J.O. Kompanje Tsipis, Bertha Vanatian Lois Malone/Rich & Famous Amy Gorin Willem O. de Jongste Graphics “When all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”—Sherlock Holmes “Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts.”—Richard Feynman Some New Winners Moments after the 2008 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony at Harvard’s Sanders Theatre, several of the winners posed with their Prizes. As per tradition (and necessity), the winners traveled to Sanders Theatre at their own expense. Front row, left to right: Peace Prize co-winner Urs Thurnherr from Switzerland, Cognitive Science Prize co-winners Atsushi Tero and Toshiyuki Nakagaki from Japan, Literature Prize winner David Sims from the U.K., Cognitive Science Prize co-winner Ryo Kobayashi from Japan, and Wan Hong, who accepted the Medicine Prize on behalf of her father, Chuang-Ye Hong, and his colleagues in Taiwan. Photo: Kees Moeliker. 2 | Annals of Improbable Research | November–December 2008 | vol. 14, no. 6 www.improbable.com Contents The features marked with a star (*) are based entirely on material taken straight from standard research (and other Official and Therefore Always Correct) literature. Many of the other articles are genuine, too, but we don’t know which ones. Special Section: The 2008 Ig Nobel Prizes IFC Some Ig Nobel Prize Winners* 6 The 18th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony*— Stephen Drew 10 A Special Ceremony in Genoa*— Nan Swift ® 12 The 2008 Ig Nobel Prize Winners* 16 The Ig Nobel Acceptance Speeches* 21 An Ig Nobel Tribute to Coca-Cola*— Nan Swift 22 The 24-7 Lectures* 24 Mini-opera Libretto: “Redundancy, Again”—Stephen Foster, Charles B. Ward, Samuel A. Ward and Marc Abrahams Improbable Research Reviews* On the Front Cover Dr. Deborah Anderson, co-winner 4 Improbable Research Review* — Dirk Manley of the 2008 Ig Nobel Prize in 5 Improbable Medical Review* — Bertha Vanatian Medicine, delivers her acceptance speech. Dr. Anderson and her team 28 Boys Will Be Boys*— Katherine Lee discovered that Coca-Cola is an effective spermicide. They shared News & Notes the prize with a group of doctors who discovered that it is not. 2 AIR Vents (letters from our readers) Photo: Kees Moeliker / 3 Improbable Research Editorial Board Improbable Research. 9 Introducing Improbable TV On the Back Cover 11 Teachers’ Guide The 2008 Ig Nobel Prize. Hand- 22 AIR books built by Eric Workman, made of 30 HMO-NO News: Digestive Woes! exceedingly cheap materials, the prize reflects the theme of the 30 Back Issues year’s Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. 32 CARTOON: “Lost”—Nick Kim This year’s theme is Redundancy. Photo: Eric Workman / IBC Unclassified Ads Improbable Research. Coming Events Science Friday (NPR) Ig Nobel radio broadcast — November 28, 2008 AAAS Annual Meeting, Chicago, Illinois, USA — February 13, 2009 Ig Nobel Tour of the UK — March 6–15, 2009 SciFest Africa, Grahamstown, Eastern Cape, South Africa — March 25–26, 2009 (see WWW.IMPROBABLE.COM for details of these and other events) www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | November–December 2008 | vol. 14, no. 6 | 1 AIR Vents Exhalations from our readers Mouthblown in independently, but worse, have published it. If only China, Again I’d followed my dream of I found another example of becoming a research scientist, glassware produced in China I could have been up on that and marked “Mouthblown in stage instead of them. China.” I am sorry this did Bill Burns not appear with my study ftldesign.com (“Mouthblown in China,” AIR Long Island NY USA 13:7). Like the items I discussed there, this one is ambiguous in Ig Avoidance its meaning insofar as having the phrase “Mouthblown in Could Have I have been in the computer After attending the Ig Nobel China” stamped on it. Like the business for over 30 years, and ceremony this year, I intend to items I discussed there, this one Been Him for much of that time I’ve been stay away from: has been the subject of legal I was mortified to read in telling my clients not to bother 1) women holding Coke with allegations as to whether the newspaper reports of this year’s re-arranging and tidying the their hands; and especially meaning, and the intended use awards, that Dorian Raymer cables behind their computers, of the object, is (a) sacred or (b) 2) men wearing sterile gloves. and Douglas Smith had won as within five minutes they will strikingly profane. the Ig Nobel Physics prize “for revert to their natural state of I should try to expand my Sarah Junovsky proving mathematically that entanglement. networking more with brainless Research Analyst heaps of string or hair or almost Now I learn that two Johnny- organisms/people. Kyoto History of Science and anything else will inevitably come-latelies have not only I have a question. The sword Society Society tangle themselves up in knots.” come up with the same theory swallowing is always scary. Kyoto, Japan Maybe Mel, Pointedly Tasting versus Chewing We recently purchased a large quantity of photographs at auction. Here is a short lesson (pertaining to the article “The Tasting of It included several boxes marked “Mel.” We have no information the Shrew,” AIR 14:5) in mammal systematics. A shrew is an other than that about the several hundred photographs that were in insectivore and a vole a rodent. There is a big difference in dental those boxes. Perhaps they pertain to the Mel who so often appears, structure and (thus) food choice. Shrews, contrary to voles, have a or appears to appear, in your letters column? Here is one of our strong musk taste. Many predators dislike that taste and leave them new treasures. The arrow was stamped in it. Does the arrow point alone. A cat will only kill a shrew, but does not swallow. The guy to Mel? who digested the shrew did not chew on it. A wise decision. Lheal Chormnast Kees Moeliker TRPNOF Archives Curator Moldavia Natuurhistorisch Museum Rotterdam The Netherlands 2 | Annals of Improbable Research | November–December 2008 | vol. 14, no. 6 www.improbable.com I wonder if what the sword Whose Head? swallower was chewing was some anesthetic? It’s appropriate for AIR to display (AIR Vents 14:5) Shoichi Fukayama, Ph.D. the presumably non-digitally doctored photo of the Brookline, MA 1911 gathering in Brussels’ Metropole Hotel. I first saw a direct print hung in the hotel’s lobby about thirty years ago, before PhotoShop, and noticed Red/Bull that the Solvay head appears to have been crudely Theoretician pasted over someone’s body. The head is far too I found the discussion (“Red: large (compared with others) and its illumination is Bull,” AIR14:4) of George different from adjacent heads (did he have his own Stratton’s research into spot-light?), proving that Mr. Solvay either had a the folklore that the color less central seat or wasn’t there for the photo-op. red infuriates bulls very (This photo also, I discovered, appears in Solvay’s illuminating and very much annual reports.) no bull. The letter writer’s claim that the defaced face is I offer another explanation of Mel’s face is not correct. In fact the body under the the observation that the color pasted head is that of Mel and I believe that this is red has indeed infuriated at least the earliest and only surviving photo of Mel’s torso. some bulls. This observation AIR’s staff should now combine the torso and head does not require belief that it photos using digital techniques as we continue the is the color red that is directly search for the rest of Mel. infuriating the bull. Another Lester A.