I'll Have What She's Having!

Seasoned StepmomsI’ll Have What She’s Having! by WEDNESDAY MARTIN, Ph.D.

WHAT IS THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS? - Stepmonster

12 © 2012 STEPMOM MAGAZINE The educated woman with ELF!CARE PRACTICE. stepkids might not like some of S the situations she ﬁnds herself in, but at least she understands them. “Psychoeducation”— LEARNING WHAT IS NORMAL IN STEPFAMILY LIFE OR REMARRIAGE WITH CHILDREN DUCATED OUTLOOK. —can make the di!erence E - between thriving and throwing in the towel.

IR TIGHT PARTNERSHIP. A -

13 © 2012 STEPMOM MAGAZINE TRONG NETWORK. The happy and seasoned S - stepmothers I spoke to were not - hand-wringers. THEY DIDN’T REVISIT THEIR MISTAKES, OR QUESTION THEMSELVES ENDLESSLY, or crumble in the face of disapproval.

NLY FIGHTS FAIR. O - -

O GUILT. N -

14 © 2012 STEPMOM MAGAZINE MPATHY AND COMPASSION FOR HER PARTNER. Getting into his head, E understanding where he’s coming from and LETTING HIM KNOW YOU UNDERSTAND HIS - FEELINGS—even when he is driving you insane ... is OES NOT LET RUMINATION RULE HER MIND OR HER LIFE. the key to staying D connected. - - -

WEDNESDAY MARTIN, Ph.D., is a social researcher and the author of Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do (2009). She is a regular contributor to Psychology Today (www.psychology today.com/blog/stepmonster) and blogs for the Hu!ngton Post and on her own website (www.wednesdaymartin.com). She has appeared as a stepparenting expert on NPR, the BBC Newshour, Fox News and NBC Weekend Today and was a regular contributor to the New York Post’s parenting page. Stepmonster was a ﬁnalist in the parenting category of the 2010 “Books for a Better Life” award. A stepmother for a decade, Wednesday lives in New York City with her husband and two sons. Her stepdaughters are young adults.