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Letters to Santa | Sweeney Todd | Cobblestones Restaurant | Casper and the Cookies | Putnam County Spelling Bee free weekly guide to entertainment and more | december 20 - 26, 2007 | www.eujacksonville.com 2 december 20-26, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper table of contents cover art by jimmy pines feature Letters to Santa...... PAGES 16-17 Holiday Events...... PAGES 18-19 movies Movies in Theaters this Week...... PAGES 6-10 Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street (movie review)...... PAGE 6 Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (movie review)...... PAGE 7 Charlie Wilson’s War (movie review)...... PAGE 8 P.S. I Love You (movie review)...... PAGE 9 Cocaine Angel (local DVD spotlight)...... PAGE 10 home Band of Bloggers (TV review)...... PAGE 12 Netscapades...... PAGE 13 Videogames ...... PAGE 13 Keeping the Kids Busy...... PAGE 24 dish Dish Update...... PAGE 14 Cobblestones at Harbour Village (restaurant review)...... PAGES 14-15 music Music Calendar...... PAGES 20-24 Whitey’s Annual Light Parade...... PAGE 20 Buffalo Tears (TSI)...... PAGE 21 Casper and the Cookies (interview)...... PAGE 22 Dinosaur Jr. (Freebird Live) ...... PAGE 23 arts / theatre / on stage Essence & Materials (MOCA)...... PAGE 25 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee (FCCJ Artist Series) ...... PAGE 26 Mountain of Peace (interview)...... PAGE 27 Santaland Diaries (Limelight/MOCA)...... PAGE 27 A Christmas Carole (Alhambra Dinner Theatre)...... PAGE 28 The Fantasticks (Limelight Theatre)...... PAGE 29 columns and stuff Native Foreigner...... PAGE 30 The Jock...... PAGE 30 NASCAR News & Notes...... PAGE 31

eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 3 thisweek “Keep the Music Alive” thursday december 20 Benefit Concert As most already know, the Jacksonville Symphony has locked out its musicians and canceled performances after The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus contract talks broke down in November. Middleburg’s pride and joy The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus will To keep these talented musicians afloat be playing a charity event for The Toys for Tots Foundation this during this difficult time, the Jacksonville Thursday at Mavericks, the brand new country-themed club that Symphony Players’ Association will took the place of the pink monstrosity Club Paris. Support this be holding a benefit concert on Friday. terrific cause by bringing a new toy to donate. The show is ages Kennedy Center Honoree Leon Fleisher 18 and up only. Tickets: $20 donation. Mavericks Rock N’ Roll will perform Mozart’s Concerto for 2 Honky Tonk, Jacksonville Landing- 8 pm, Info: (904) 356-1110 Pianos with Katherine Jacobson Fleisher and lead the orchestra in Beethoven’s 5th Saturnalia Toga Party Symphony. Admission is free, donations An ancient holiday, Saturnalia was a Roman festival of immense are gratefully accepted. UNF Lazzara Hall- red jumpsuit apparatus size and popularity. Traditionally held outside the Temple of Saturn, 7:30 pm, Info: www.jsomusicians.org the celebration went on as long as seven days and was considered among the citizens to be the best of days. The black Cummer continues that tradition on a slightly kids saturday december 22 smaller scale. Throw on your best toga and eat, drink and be merry at the museum’s Saturnalia Murray Hill Theatre and Second Thief present: Toga Party. In addition to the festivities, The Christmas Show! the world-renowned In Stabiano exhibit Celebrate the holidays with the Murray Hill and eight excellent bands. will serve as the perfect Roman Second Thief, The Sophomore Attempt, Matlock, Wherefore, Don’t backdrop. Tickets: $30/members, $40/ Sigh Daisy, Patrick Bass, Oh, Frontier, and Red Letter Bullet will all be guests and non-members. Cummer performing. Plus, if you bring a non-perishable food item to the show, Museum of Art and Gardens- 7 pm- the Murray Hill Theatre will donate it to The Westside Christian Outreach 11 pm, Info: (904) 899-6016 or Food Pantry. It’s a win-win. Tickets: $8. Murray Hill Theatre- 8 pm, Info: www.cummer.org (904) 388-7807

Jim Brickman Katherine Archer For over a decade, Jim Brickman’s St. Augustine Florida singer, songwriter, and folk guitarist Katherine holiday concerts have been Archer will be performing at The Reef this Saturday. Katherine is a dynamic live performer who creates an intimate and powerful bond musical homecomings for fans of with her audience. With her trademark wry between-song humor, she the dynamic composer, recording weaves a musical journey through love, laughter and tears. The Reef, artist, radio personality and concert St. Augustine, Info: (904) 824-8008 headliner. His latest holiday album Black Kids Homecoming is all about returning Black Kids have been gaining nationwide media attention lately, to the simple traditions of the most recently garnering a place in Pitchfork Media’s top 100 season. Hear Brickman’s latest songs of 2007, outranking the Shins! So, why haven’t you seen DECEmber 23 work and some of his new this band live yet? TSI is giving you an opportunity to check sunday holiday classics live this them out before they’re too big for Jacksonville’s britches Thursday. Tickets: $38.50. this Friday. Athens’ Casper & the Cookies, featuring former Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Florida Theatre- 8 pm, members of Of Montreal, will also perform. Read interview Oakland Raiders Info: (904) 355-2787 with Casper on page 22 to see what they had to do with Black How ‘bout them Jaguars! Our boys will jim brickman Kids’ big break. Tickets: $7. TSI, Info: (904) 424-3531 clinch a spot in the playoffs if they sack the Raiders this Sunday. Throw on your december 21 - 23 teal and head down to the stadium to december 21 show your support! Tickets: $42-$235. friday th Jacksonville Municipal Stadium- 1 pm, The 25 Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee In the Tony-Award winning new musical comedy The 25th Info: (904) 633-6100 The Mountain of Peace Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, six young people in The Mountain of Peace tells the tale of five international families the throes of puberty learn that winning isn’t everything and Nightmare Before Christmas featuring Devereux who all lose a loved one to war. Because of this tragedy, they are that losing doesn’t necessarily make you a loser. Read the It’s a concert. It’s a masquerade party. It’s gonna be a whole lot of inspired to come together with others to hold a peace summit on a interview on page 26. The Spelling Bee comes to town this fun for an otherwise quiet Sunday night. Come to Jack Rabbits (in mythological Mountain of Peace. Read story on page 27. The play Friday and will move on by Sunday, 23. Read interview on page costume!) and see Devereux, Innerfazed and Ghostwitch rock out. will be performed on Friday and Saturday. Tickets: $12/adults, $6/ 26. Tickets: $26-$61. Times-Union Center Moran Theater, Info: Guests with the best costume will get cool prizes and everyone will children. Five Points Theatre- 7:30 pm, Info: www.peaceperformers. (904) 633-6110 enjoy drink specials all night long. Jack Rabbits- 8 pm, Info: (904) org 398-7496

4 december 20-26, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper tuesday DECEmber 25 Merry Christmas, Jacksonville! Entertaining U wishes everyone in Jacksonville a very merry Christmas. We hope Santa brought you something good!

Inspection 12’s Acoustic Xmas After the presents have been opened and the ham has been eaten, head over to Jack Rabbits for a Christmas miracle: a live concert on Christmas Day! Bands performing during this special acoustic show include Inspection 12, Captain Kid, Alexis Cone, and Shadow Agency. Tickets: $8/advance, $10/day of show. Jack Rabbits- 8 pm, Info: (904) 398-7496

inspection 12

wednesday DECEmber 26

Winter Break Looking for something to do with the kids during winter break? The Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens has your answer. The Zoo will celebrate the New Year with music from around the world. Kids will love the giant inflatable slide, bounce house, face painting, animal encounters, prize drawing, and visits from Jazoo. The event begins this Wednesday and goes through January 6. Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens, Info: jaxzoo.org Find more activities you can do with the kids on page 24.

The Ups According to their MySpace: “The Ups come from Gainesville, Florida. They sound exactly like what you should be listening to right now. Their stage show is so energetic that even Gainesville natives have been known to tap their foot from time to time. The Ups started as a side project out of a band who never really decided on a name (17 Days? 7 Down 7 Over? Adonis?), and once that band collapsed, The Ups became a full force.” See them live at The Pit this Wednesday. The Pit- 8 pm, Info: (904) 223-9850 next thursday december 27 Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi Blues and roots music are at the core of this rare double bill featuring Susan Tedeschi and her husband, Derek Trucks. Tedeschi, a Grammy-nominated singer, guitarist, and songwriter who graduated from Berklee in 1991, recently released her fourth record, Hope and Desire. Equally expressive as a vocalist and guitarist, Tedeschi offers unique interpretations of great, but little-known compositions. The Derek Trucks Band blends a range of styles, including jazz, blues, Latin, rock, and Eastern Indian, all of it focused around the group’s improvisations. Trucks’s searing sound and virtuosic innovations made him the youngest player to make the Rolling Stone 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time list. Tickets: $38.50- $48.50. Florida Theatre- 8 pm, Info: (904) 355-2787

eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 5 Sweeney Todd to find his wife and child. Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter), the proprietor of a meat pie MOVIES OPENING shop, tells him that his wife has taken poison after being raped by the Judge and that his daughter is CHARLIE WILSON’S WAR Charlie Wilson (Tom now the ward of the evil man. Hanks) was a bachelor congressman from Texas Sweeney Todd is now consumed by ven- who had a habit of showing up in hot tubs with geance, and when he can’t get to the Judge, he turns strippers and cocaine. His “Good Time Charlie” his rage onto others. With the help of Mrs. Lovett, he exterior, however, masked an extraordinary goes on a bit of a killing spree. Set to music. mind, a deep sense of patriotism and a pas- Judge Turpin and his lackey Beadle Bamford sion for the underdog, and in the early 1980s are played by two of the more notable villains in the the underdog was Afghanistan—which had just Harry Potter series—Turpin is played by Alan Rick- been brutally invaded by the Russians. Charlie’s man (Snape in the Potter series) and Beadle Bamford longtime friend and patron and sometime lover is played by Timothy Spall (Peter Pettigrew aka was Joanne Herring (Julia Roberts), one of the Scabbers). It’s a tad difficult NOT to think of Harry wealthiest women in Texas and a virulent anti- Potter, mostly because they’re together in this film, communist. Believing the American response to along with Helena Bonham Cater, who also appeared the Russian invasion was anemic at best, she in the last Harry Potter installment as the demented prods Charlie into doing more for the Mujahideen Bellatrix Lestrange. All three actors did a great job of (Afghan freedom fighters). Charlie’s partner in inhabiting these somewhat different characters, but this uphill endeavor is CIA Agent Gust Avrakotos I still half expected Hermione Granger to leap out, (Philip Seymour Hoffman), a blue-collar opera- wand at the ready. tive in a company of Ivy League blue bloods. Together, the three of them—Charlie, Joanne and Gust—travel the world to form unlikely alliances among the Pakistanis, Israelis, Egyptians, arms dealers, law makers and a belly dancer. Rating: R

NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS In this adventure-filled sequel to the 2004 block- buster National Treasure, Nicolas Cage reprises his role as artifact hunter and archaeologist extraordinaire Ben Franklin Gates. In this outing, songs to murder by Gates learns of his own family’s implication in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln by John Wilkes Booth. Gates must then locate the 18 missing pages to Booth’s diary, not only to clear Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street his family’s name, but to unearth and connect several secrets, buried within the book, that point to a massive, global conspiracy. The film co- by Erin thursby [email protected] stars Jon Voight, Harvey Keitel, and Helen Mirren A- Rated R 117 min. It became a play as early as 1847, but it wasn’t as Ben’s mother. Jerry Bruckheimer returns as until the 1970s that Sweeney Todd was given a mo- producer. Starring: Nicolas Cage, Justin Bartha, Sweeney Todd is about passion, obsession tive other than greed. In 1979 the play was adapted Diane Kruger, Jon Voight. Rating: PG and vengeance. What more could one girl want? The as the musical Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of movie is even bloodier and more violent than most Fleet Street, with music by Stephen Sondheim. It’s P.S. I LOVE YOU Holly Kennedy (Hilary Swank) stage productions. Blood is everywhere. They even this version, which is almost an opera in English, is 29, beautiful, smart, and married to the love tint the lower edges of the film with a red. I couldn’t that you’ll see adapted for the screen. of her life—a passionate, funny and impetu- have picked a more apt director than Tim Burton, There are some changes and cuts of course; ous Irishman named Gerry (Gerard Butler). But who, along with Depp’s acting, added just the right every adaptation from one medium to the other tends then Gerry’s life is taken by an illness that also touch of macabre humor and pathos. to suffer changes. On the whole, those changes seems to take the life out of Holly. Good thing The Tale of Sweeney Todd has been around were positive. We got to see Sweeney Todd in his old he planned ahead. The first message arrives since a least the mid-19th century. Some texts have life as Benjamin Barker, in a world of color and hope, on Holly’s 30th birthday in the form of a cake claimed that he was based on a real barber who had not a world so gray that the only hope of vibrancy is In a bit of a side plot that brightens up the and, to her utter shock, a tape recording from an unsavory arrangement with a meat pie shop, but blood, red blood to spatter the floor and sometimes bloody flick, is the story of Anthony Hope (Jamie Gerry, who proceeds to order her to get out and the historical records don’t precisely back up this the lens of the camera. Campbell Bower), the young sailor who picks up “celebrate herself.” In the weeks and months claim, though there was a similar (though unproven) Fifteen years prior, barber Benjamin Barker had Todd from the ocean, and the young ward of Judge that follow, more letters from Gerry are delivered, case in medieval France. More than likely he was a lovely wife, daughter and life. But the evil Judge Turpin, Johanna (Jayne Wisener), who is coinciden- each sending her on a new adventure and each introduced in a penny-dreadful, morphed into an Turpin lusts Barker’s beautiful wife, so he arranges tally Todd’s long-lost daughter. (In yet another Harry signing off in the same way: P.S. I Love You. With old urban legend that later scholars claimed as fact for Barker to be transported on false charges. Barker Potter connection, there are rumors on the IMDB Gerry’s words as her guide, Holly embarks on a rather than fiction. comes back to London under the pseudonym of board that Bower is hoping to play the young Volde- touching, exciting and often hilarious journey of mort in an upcoming Harry Potter movie.) rediscovery to find a new life…and maybe even Musicals have a way of expressing high emo- a new love. Starring: Hilary Swank, Gerard Butler, tion, quickly. Passions don’t need to be explained so Lisa Kudrow, Gina Gershon. Rating: PG-13. much if they’re sung. And so it is in Sweeney Todd, though I could have done without the extra-dramatic, SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF extra loud musical flourishes at the end of the songs. FLEET STREET Stephen Sondheim’s award- Different versions of the musical have played winning musical thriller comes to the big screen on different aspects of the relationship between Todd in this adaptation directed by Tim Burton and and Mrs. Lovett. This version shows a very interest- ing take on the matter – Depp playing his part with a 4 disinterested depression; Carter playing her part with a deep and abiding fantasy of what their life could be. It’s actually pretty funny. The tale of Sweeney Todd will absorb you and take you into their mad, dark world. Gruesome doesn’t begin to describe it, and many of the images will stay with you after you leave the theatre. Go, but don’t take your kids. It’s a dark, bloody comedy with a tragic end.

6 december 20-26, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper Obviously this being a film with Apatow’s name attached, expect the usual R-rated fair. Naturally like starring Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, any good story of superstardom, Cox is all about Sacha Baron Cohen, Timothy Spall, and Alan sex, drugs and rock and roll. People, this means Rickman. Embittered at having been wrongly leave your children at home. A six-year-old does not imprisoned and determined to seek vengeance need to learn the words to songs like ‘Let’s Duet’ (“In against his accusers due to the grim fate that my dreams you’re blowin’ me” –long beat– “some befell his wife and daughter while he was incar- kisses”). cerated, ex-convict Sweeny Todd (Depp) returns Speaking of the music, every song in the to his hometown and opens a modest barber soundtrack is incredibly catchy. You’ll be humming, as shop. The one thing different about Todd’s shop, I have been for two days now, the Golden Globe shoe- however, is that no one who walks in for a trim in title track from the moment you leave the theater. is ever seen again. Subsequently branded “The Each tune is performed remarkably well and mimics Demon Barber of Fleet Street” by the frightened each phase of Dewey’s career perfectly. In fact, were community, Todd continues with his murderous it not for the goofy lyrics, one would have a hard time exploits with a little assistance from his amo- distinguishing them from other songs of the era. While rous accomplice Mrs. Lovett (Bonham Carter) the film itself has little rewatchability, the soundtrack is - whose popular meat pies are proven to have a worth owning. most unsavory ingredient. Rating: R Reilly, who has always played second banana to one clown or another, carries this film and does an WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY America amazing job, good enough to get the Globe nod. Along loves Cox! But behind the music is the up-and- with his impeccable comedic timing, he’s got a terrific down-and-up-again story of a musician whose voice and it’s really showcased here. Fischer, who’s songs would change a nation. On his rock ‘n known for being more buttoned up and conservative roll spiral, Cox sleeps with 411 women, marries on The Office, taps into her sexuality in Walk Hard three times, has 22 kids and 14 stepkids, stars and is wonderful. Familiar faces like Jack Black, Paul in his own 70s TV show, collects friends ranging Rudd, Jason Schwartzman, Justin Long, Jack White from Elvis to the Beatles to a chimp, and gets ad- and Frankie Muniz all make appearances as some of dicted to -- and then kicks -- every drug known music’s most iconic characters and musicians Eddie to man… but despite it all, Cox grows into a Vedder, Jewel, Ghostface Killah, and Lyle Lovett all national icon and eventually earns the love of a show up as themselves at one point or another. These good woman -- longtime backup singer Darlene cameos were really many of the film’s best moments. (Jenna Fischer). Starring: John C. Reilly, Jenna The scene with the Beatles is downright hysterical and Fischer, Raymond J. Barry, Kristen Wiig. Rating: White’s brief but brilliant Elvis is a real treat. R. It’s definitely not for everyone, butWalk Hard is an amusing nod to the music biopic that elicits NOW SHOWING enough laughs to make it worth your time. The perfor- mances are great, but it’s the incredible score that will ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS The live-action/ cox rox win most people over. CGI motion picture event brings together the cel- ebrated history of its beloved characters - Dave Seville and singing chipmunks Alvin, Simon and Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story Theodore - adding a new comic sensibility and edge. Starring: Jason Lee, David Cross, Cameron by kelliE abraHamSoN [email protected] Richardson, Justin Long. Rating: PG AUGUST RUSH A charismatic young Irish B+ Rated R 96 min. Dewey Cox (much to a still very devoted Edith’s dis- may). Of course, true love doesn’t slay all of Dewey’s guitarist (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) and a shel- tered young cellist (Keri Russell) have a chance Nominated for two Golden Globes (Best Actor- demons, and the troubled musician struggles to do encounter one magical night above New York’s Comedy and Best Original Song), Walk Hard has been right by his family throughout the decades, reinventing Washington Square, but are soon torn apart, buzzed about, good, bad and ugly, for months. Thanks himself and his music every step of the way. leaving in their wake an infant, orphaned by to a marketing blitzkrieg that’s made smaller budget Walk Hard got a lot of flack from the get go for circumstance. Years later, performing on the films wet their shorts and hide in a corner, there most following too closely the life of the late Johnny Cash. streets of New York and cared for by a mysteri- likely isn’t a single person on the planet who hasn’t Many people thought, and still think, that the film ous stranger (Robin Williams) who gives him the heard of Dewey Cox by now. Been living in a cave? mocks this legendary musician’s career and personal name August Rush, the child (Freddie Highmore) Here’s the lowdown. life. One could certainly see it that way. But the inten- uses his remarkable musical talent to seek the After the death of his older, more talented brother tion was not to trivialize someone’s life but to spoof parents from whom he was separated at birth. during a tragic machete-fighting incident, Dewey the music biopic genre. Everyone has seen movies Rating: PG. Cox (John C. Reilly) is the family pariah, hearing his like Ray, Walk the Line and Great Balls of Fire!, and, father’s sneering “The wrong kid died,” in one ear and while these films are undeniably fascinating, they all AWAKE A psychological thriller about a com- his brothers last words, “You’ve got to be double great have elements that writers Judd Apatow and Jake mon occurrence called “anesthetic awareness,” for the both of us,” in the other. Soon, Cox discov- Kasdan found amusing. The two got together and a horrifying phenomenon wherein a patient’s ers he’s got a natural flair for the guitar and realizes penned this film, not to be mean-spirited about the (Hayden Christensen) failed anesthesia leaves it’s his music that will repair his relationship with his struggles Cash or Ray Charles went through in real him fully conscious but physically paralyzed father and make his brother up in heaven proud. At life, but to send up a genre of film that hasn’t changed during surgery. The patient’s charming new wife the tender age of 14 a school talent show begins his its formula since its creation. (Jessica Alba) is forced to struggle with her own career. The crowd goes wild over Dewey’s music, so Walk Hard is more Talladega Nights than demons as a terrifying drama unfolds around the much so blouses are ripped off, priests are punched Knocked Up. It’s funny, but most likely only the first couple. Starring: Hayden Christensen, Jessica in the face and the townspeople lynch the Cox fam- time around and even then it’s spotty. You’ll giggle Alba, Terrence Howard, Lena Olin. Rating: R. ily home. Dewey is forced to leave town, taking with a lot, but big belly laughs are few and far between. him Edith (Kristen Wiig), an adoring fan who quickly Much of the humor is, well, stupid. The gags are silly BEE MOVIE Barry B. Benson is a graduate bee becomes Mrs. Dewey Cox. A couple years, and many, and ridiculous and simple and that’s okay. This is a fresh out of college who is disillusioned at his many children later, Dewey gets his big break with film that doesn’t, and certainly shouldn’t, take itself lone career choice: making honey. On a rare trip his infectious ditty “Walk Hard.” And so begins a wild too seriously. They go for the easy laugh every time outside the hive, Barry’s life is saved by Van- roller coaster ride that takes Dewey Cox to the top of and it works because anything less and it steps over essa, a florist in New York City. As their relation- the charts, all the way down to jail and rehab, back the line into the insulting-the-musical-legend territory ship blossoms, he discovers humans are mass up to the top of the charts and then back to jail and people have been so worried about since the film consumers of honey and decides to sue the hu- rehab. Somewhere in between drug addictions and was announced. Walk Hard is so consciously goofy man race for stealing bees’ honey. Starring: Jerry orgies he meets Darlene (Jenna Fischer), a saintly it’s hard to believe anyone would walk away upset or backup singer who quickly becomes the second Mrs. offended, at least by the story anyway. 4

eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 7 ful amount of money. So he began working behind Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger, Chris Rock, Ray Liotta, the scenes to get enough money so the Afghans Mark Moseley. Rating: PG could at least shoot down the Soviets’ heavily armed helicopters that were taking out vast numbers of BEOWULF Director Robert Zemeckis (‘The Polar innocent people. Express’) and graphic novelist Neil Gaiman (the One day a bedraggled looking CIA operative, ‘Sandman’ series) team up for this highly antici- Gust Avrakotos (Philip Seymour Hoffman), shows pated, performance-capture adaptation of the up in Charlie’s office to work with him on a covert Old English epic poem. When the young warrior operation to supply the Afghans with captured Soviet Beowulf (Ray Winstone) travels to a neighboring antiaircraft and tank missiles. They couldn’t use kingdom and slays the monster Grendel (Crispin American weapons for fear of starting WWIII. It so Glover), he is hailed as a hero. But before long, happened that Charlie was on the foreign appropria- Beowulf must face an even deadlier foe: Gren- tions committee and would have to mask the money del’s mother (Angelina Jolie), who seeks ven- in other bills. Thus began Charlie’s secret war to geance for the loss of her son. The film also stars defeat the Soviets in Afghanistan by the power of his Anthony Hopkins as King Hrothgar, Robin Wright will, charismatic charm, and persuasive personality. Penn as Queen Wealtheow and John Malkovich Hoffman as cynical CIA agent Gust is a cast as Unferth. Rating: PG-13 stand-out. He got many of the funny lines as his character reveled in Charlie’s natural talent at covert ENCHANTED Princess Giselle (Amy Adams) operations. Charlie’s biggest supporter was Houston lives in the blissful cartoon world of Andalasia, socialite Joanne Herring (Julia Roberts). She was where magical beings frolic freely and musical also Charlie’s lover. Joanne was just the spunky interludes punctuate every interaction. Though power broker who could help Charlie get things Princess Giselle is currently engaged to be mar- done. She saw Charlie’s campaign as a righteous ried to the handsome Prince Edward (James crusade to end the Cold War and drive the Soviets Marsden), her fate takes a turn for the worse out of Afghanistan. when the villainous Queen Narissa (Susan Saran- Mike Nichols’ exquisite scene-craft and even don) banishes her to the unforgiving metropolis pacing kept the movie running smoothly, with plenty of New York City. As the cruelty of the big city of highlights and humor to spice up Aaron Sorokin’s soon begins to wear down the fairy-tale exterior verbose script. Charlie’s story also gives the viewer of the once carefree princess, the frightened some insight into the inner-workings of congress Giselle soon finds herself falling for a friendly but and how backdoor deals are made in cocktail flawed divorce lawyer (Patrick Dempsey) whose lounges and at hot tub parties. Charlie readily admit- kind compassion has helped her to survive in this ted his faults, but he did get things done in between. strange and dangerous new world. Rating: PG How he skirted the congressional chain of command and the law was a truly amazing feat of political ma- FRED CLAUS Dealing with family around the neuvering. It only proves that business and pleasure holidays can suck -- especially when you’re San- can coexist on the Hill as long as the end justifies the ta Claus (Paul Giamatti) and your older brother means. Fred (Vince Vaughn) is a a newly out-of-jail con warming up the cold war artist with a penchant for elf-tossing. Rating: PG

THE GOLDEN COMPASS Based on author Philip Pullman’s bestselling and award-winning Charlie Wilson’s War novel,’The Golden Compass’ tells the first story in Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy. ‘The Golden Compass’ is an exciting fantasy adventure, set in by Rick grant [email protected] an alternative world where people’s souls mani- fest themselves as animals, talking bears fight B+ Rated R 115 min. showing enough cleavage to sink the Titanic. He wars, and Gyptians and witches co-exist. At the Finally, a movie that comes off as quality called one sexy young aide “Jailbait” (Shiri Appleby). center of the story is Lyra (played by newcomer cinema yet is accessible to general audiences. It’s His executive assistant, Bonnie, deftly acted by Dakota Blue Richards), a 12-year-old girl who intelligently funny, featuring snappy, well-written Amy Adams, was tasked with organizing Charlie’s starts out trying to rescue a friend who’s been dialogue, and has first-class acting. Directed by haphazard life and keeping him out of trouble on kidnapped by a mysterious organization known master filmmaker Mike Nichols, based on George his frequent pleasure seeking junkets at naked hot as the Gobblers - and winds up on an epic quest Crile’s book (a true story), and adapted to screen by tub parties with coke whores and businessmen. For to save not only her world, but ours as well. ‘The Aaron Sorokin, Charlie Wilson’s War is a work born Charlie, 10 in the morning was never too early for a Golden Compass’ stars an ensemble cast that from a top-notch collaboration. With Tom Hanks as whiskey. includes Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Sam Elliott, producer and Mike Nichols behind the camera, this Although Charlie was a bachelor party animal, and Ian McShane. Rating: PG-13 is as a good as it gets in a Hollywood movie. he was a brilliant politician and cared about certain Tom Hanks’ savvy characterization recreated issues. When the Soviets invaded Afghanistan, HITMAN An international assassin known only Texas Congressman Charlie Wilson as a hard drink- unleashing their mighty war machine on an ox-cart as Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant) carries out high- ing, skirt chasing, good-‘ol-boy, who purposely hired society of tribes-people, Charlie was appalled. He profile hits for a mysterious organization known a staff of beautiful young women he called Charlie’s immediately started to research the United States only as “The Agency” in this adaptation of the Angels. They wore sexually provocative clothing, aid to the Afghans. He found out that it was a piti- popular Eidos Interactive video-game series. Rat- ing: R

I AM LEGEND Robert Neville (Will Smith) is a brilliant scientist, but even he could not contain the terrible virus that was unstoppable, incur- able, and man-made. Somehow immune, Neville is now the last human survivor in what is left of New York City and maybe the world. For three years, Neville has faithfully sent out daily radio messages, desperate to find any other survivors who might be out there. But he is not alone. Mutant victims of the plague—The Infected—lurk in the shadows…watching Neville’s every

8 december 20-26, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper of a beloved spouse (i.e. Things We Lost in the lief. Lisa Kudrow was her usual self, with a dead- Fire and Grace is Gone). on delivery of decent comic material. An awkwardness pervades this movie, per- Daniel (Harry Connick Jr.) helps her through haps because the main character, Holly (Hilary her bereavement, though it’s obvious he’s hoping Swank), is kind of an anti-social head case. But to be more than a friend to her. It’s possible that she’s really cute, right? he’s even more mentally unstable than Holly is. The movie opens with Holly arguing with her Billy (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) provides the best Irish husband Gerry (Gerard Butler). She tends to bit of eye-candy in the movie. It made me happy— throw shoes and he’s sort of like a therapist she for once they show a nearly naked guy and none can have sex with. It seems to work for them, in of the women stripped down! some weird, weird way. I really should have taken one look at the Then the film jarringly moves from the ar- plot and packed tissues. Just when I’d recovered gument to Gerry’s wake, reversing the norm. It from one crying jag, the filmmakers would send opens with their troubles, then we see the happy me spiraling into another wave of grief. Then, just moments in flashback sequences. Most of these to confuse me, someone on screen would say loss-of-spouse movies tend to open up with the something funny, and I’d be laughing even as the happy stuff, trickling in the realistic “problems” screen was blurred by oncoming tears. I’m a bit of somewhere in the middle. It was a nice change a sucker for this kind of thing. from the usual formula. P.S. I Love You was, for me, a guilty plea- Holly, who needed her husband there to keep sure. Something I enjoyed at the time, but, upon her from completely going crazy, predictably falls reflection, have come to realize was not that great apart once the wake is over. Gerry, who knew in of a movie. Five minutes after the film, as I was advance that he would be dying from a brain tu- blowing my nose in the cinema bathroom, I would mor, has arranged to send her posthumous letters have said that “It’s (sob) one of the best movies for a year, while she recovers. ever (sniffle).” But, as I got into the car, that view For a guy that’s supposed to be dead, he has changed. I began wondering about things I never a ton of screen time, sometimes in flashbacks and questioned during the estrogen haze of the movie. sometimes in Holly’s strange little mind. Gerry If you aren’t into chick flicks, you shouldn’t sings a lot and spends time being really Irish. be going to see P.S. I Love You. While the film is He’s is so darn Irish that I honestly expected him largely sentimental, it tries not to head too deeply estrogen haze to dress as a Leprechaun sometime during the into Lifetime Movie territory (“tries” being the movie. He doesn’t—but he is shirtless some of operative word here). It does that whole “laughter the time. through tears” thing that Fried Green Tomatoes P.S. I Love You I did enjoy seeing the cinematic shots of the did. While P.S. I Love you isn’t destined to be the Irish countryside. The filmmakers dwelled on it classic that FGT was, it tries hard to be smart, by Erin thursby [email protected] long enough for it to be pleasurable, but not so sassy and modern. It succeeds, in dribs and long and often that you felt like you were watching drabs. It’s not the worst chick flick I’ve ever been C+ Rated PG13 126 min. things as a herd. P.S. I Love You is one of three or a postcard. to, but I think this movie is destined for the $5 bin Unfortunately, Hollywood likes to do these four flicks this year that focus on the tragic death Holly’s friends mostly provide the comic re- at Wally World.

eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 9 move…waiting for him to make a fatal mistake. Perhaps mankind’s last, best hope, Neville is local film spotlight: driven by only one remaining mission: to find a way to reverse the effects of the virus using his own immune blood. But he knows he is outnum- bered…and quickly running out of time. Starring: Will Smith, Alice Braga, Charlie Tahan, Salli Rich- ardson-Whitfield. Rating: PG-13.

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN The story begins when Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin) finds a pickup truck surrounded by a sentry of dead men. A load of heroin and two million dollars in cash are still in the back. When Moss takes the money, he sets off a chain reaction of catastrophic violence that not even the law - in the person of aging, disil- lusioned Sheriff Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) - can contain. Chased by a mysterious mastermind who flips coins for human lives (Javier Bardem). Rating: R

THE PERFECT HOLIDAY ‘The Perfect Holiday’ tells the story of Nancy (Union), a divorced moth- er of three. With Christmas fast approaching, she decides to take her kids to the mall to meet Santa Claus, not knowing that her youngest daughter Emily (Khail Bryant) has sensed her mother’s sadness and is determined to use her time with Santa to make her mom happy again. Just a few days prior, Emily heard her mom say that all she wanted for Christmas was a compliment from junkie love a man, so that’s exactly what she tells Santa. Ironically, Santa, as it turns out, is office supply salesman and struggling songwriter Benjamin Cocaine Angel, from film festival to dvd (Chestnut), who ends up giving Nancy just what she wants for Christmas, and more. Starring: by kelliE abraHamSoN [email protected] Morris Chestnut, Gabrielle Union, Queen Latifah, Terrence Howard. Rating: PG. If you’re looking for a movie to sell out-of- in 2005. A First Coast native, Lahey wrote, produced towners on the virtues of our fair city, this ain’t it. and reluctantly starred in the film while first-time THIS CHRISTMAS This year, Christmas with Cocaine Angel shines a light on the dimmest, grimi- director Michael Tully helmed the project. After tour- the Whitfields promises to be one they will never est parts of the River City, from the filthy underside ing the festival circuit, including a stop at our own forget. All the siblings have come home for the of overpasses to trash-strewn parking lots. Along fest in 2006, Cocaine Angel was released on DVD first time in years and they’ve brought plenty the way we meet a parade of drug-dealers, scum- earlier this year. The two-disc DVD contains quite a of baggage with them. As the Christmas tree bags and whores, none with a discernable shred of few extras for an independent film including 2 audio is trimmed and the lights are hung, secrets are “normal” left in their tattered existences. It’s a side commentary tracks, a 29-minute featurette with be- revealed and family bonds are tested. Starring: of Jacksonville a lot of us never see up close, a side hind-the-scenes footage and nine deleted scenes. Laz Alonzo, Chris Brown, Columbus Short, Mekhi most of us don’t necessarily want to see. That, of Cocaine Angel meanders along at its own pace, Phifer. Rating: PG-13 course, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t. not actually telling a conventional story, but merely Once upon a time, Scott (Damian Lahey) was giving us a look at the pathetic lives of these weary SPECIAL SHOWINGS your typical 9 to 5 suburban dad. Somewhere along addicts. It’s a snapshot of their everyday lives and, the way (we never see the moment, nor do we need certainly if you’ve never lived like these people, Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both to), his entire life derailed and now he’s a semi-func- that in itself is compelling. Not only do we see the Worlds Concert in Disney Digital 3D tioning drug addict kind of living, never working and effect addiction has on the characters, we also get If you were one of the many who tried but failed doing some dangerous playing right here in Jack- a glimpse at what it does to their families. Most of this past weekend to get tickets for your tween sonville. Constantly drunk, high or both, Scott’s days the people we meet during Scott’s adventures have to the Hannah Montana concert then here is your consist of scouring the area looking for more smack small children and all of them are neglected in vary- saving grace. All you have to do is make the and keeping tabs on his junkie girlfriend Mary (Kelly ing degrees due to their parent’s lifestyle. As a mom, short drive to Fernandina. Fans of Miley Cyrus Forester), who keeps disappearing for one reason or this was more powerful and more painful to watch and her pop-star alter ego on her series Hannah another. than anything else. Montana get the best of both worlds with this On this particular day Scott wakes up with a Lahey can definitely weave a good story, but live concert film. Shot during her 54-city musical mysteriously injured foot (when asked what hap- he’s also no slouch in front of the camera. A lot of tour, this concert captures Cyrus performing both pened we hear a different smart-alecky answer actors play addicts sort of one-note and over-the- as herself and as Hannah. The film is presented each time). After shooting up he heads to work top. Lahey plays Scott with a lot more depth and in Disney Digital 3-D, providing the most realistic Downtown where his bosses take one look at his complexity. Underneath the strung out, loser exterior, concert experience possible. It will be just like bloody, toilet paper-wrapped foot, too swollen to fit there’s a light struggling to shine through. It’s not watching it on the jumbo-tron at the Arena. Star- in a shoe, and otherwise disheveled appearance and certain if it’s about to go out completely or if it will ring: Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers, Kenny Ortega, send him packing. He manages to get his hands on overtake the darkness, but its there and I doubt any- Billy Ray Cyrus. Carmike Cinemas Island 7, 1132 some money and goes looking for another fix and one other than Lahey could have portrayed it. The south 14th Street, Fernandina Beach. Opens Fri- part-time hooker Mary. He finds both. It turns out performance is flawless and I’d love to see him in day, December 21st. Mary wants to go to Texas to visit her daughter on another role at some point in his career. her birthday and Scott is willing to go along for the Cocaine Angel is not an easy film to watch but ride and help out where he can. Of course, any plans it’s well worth seeing for its raw look at addiction the two make are half-hearted, both more concerned and the excellent performance by Lahey. Jack- with getting high to fully commit to any given task for sonville folks will also get a kick out of seeing the more than a few minutes. The two are trapped in a familiar locations and the cast of locals doing their one-step-forward-two-steps-back cycle, wishing to thing. While it’s not a film that highlights the best be better people but slaves to the drugs. the area has to offer, it does show level of talent we Cocaine Angel was shot at various locations all have right here in the River City. On second thought, over Jacksonville over the course of about 7 weeks maybe it will attract those out-of-towners after all.

10 december 20-26, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 11 soldier journalists capture raw war footage Band of Bloggers on The History Channel

by Rick grant [email protected]

Finally we’ve reached a point in the advance- the most dangerous and dreaded by all troops. The ment of video technology that U.S. Soldiers can car- enemy could be anywhere, around any corner, and ry small digital video cameras no bigger than a pack there could be snipers waiting on rooftops to am- of cigarettes. These devices enable them to shoot bush them from hidden positions. Deadly explosive high quality videos of their daily missions, return to booby traps could be planted in doorways, in alleys, the base and immediately send this unedited, uncen- or inside buildings. The men can’t tell if the wires sored footage back home to their loved ones on their running into the buildings are trip wires or utility personal blogs. They can also send their footage to feeders. Every mission on the streets is nerve-rack- the History Channel’s dedicated website called Band ing and could be the soldier shooting the video’s last of Bloggers. The video blogs include text, which is day on earth. surprisingly well-written and emotionally charged. The only rules are – they cannot give away their location or their unit’s name, otherwise the footage is raw with the gritty profanity-laced chatter of the men engaged in life-or-death combat. Indeed, even CNN and other news channels cannot compete with this near-real-time action avail- able anytime to anyone who wants to experience a single soldier’s daily struggle to fight and stay alive, and ultimately, get back home to his or her loved ones. Advancements in the Internet have created a whole new form of journalism in the hands of the soldiers, who don’t get to go home after shooting a Accompanying the videos are the poignant text segment like media journalists. blogs that give first-hand accounts of the day’s ac- tivities. A few of these soldier journalists have shown extraordinary writing talent. One Marine, who came back from a disastrous mission, wrote a blog so intensely brilliant he was offered a book deal. Here is an example of these daily text blogs. “Once again, there I was, on the ground with that blasphemous radio strapped onto my back–an- tenna sticking straight up like it was screaming, ‘shoot me!’ I was filling-in for someone else. It should only be temporary, right? A few months ago, this exact job got a friend of mine killed. Alright, This new soldier-generated content (SGC) jour- move quick through open areas, when we stop, take nalism is revolutionary and shockingly in-your-face. a knee, stay sharp. There’s supposed to be a sniper It effectively conveys the fog of war with the noise of cell in the area.” the weapons firing, the dense smoke and the return fire coming to the soldiers’ positions. It makes a powerful statement about our troops’ commitment to finishing their mission and helping their buddies and themselves stay alive. Viewers see the men firing their weapons, often while spotting targets from various positions. U.S. troops are armed to the teeth with their advanced M16s, equipped with grenade launchers, the pervasive and deadly SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon), and an assortment of hand-held missile launchers. In one video, an American Army sniper is aiming a Barrett .50 caliber bold-action rifle at a target, taking it out with deadly accuracy. The History Channel’s Band of Bloggers web- Anyone who wants to know what is really going site (history.com) has many new videos shot every on in the Iraq War, this is the real skinny–not some day with captions explaining the action. A typical clip pretty boy anchor reading the news with edited, cen- was shot by Staff Sgt. John Hoffman who is with sored footage. Go to History.com and type in Band the soldiers of Bronco Troop, 3rd Striker Brigade, 2nd of Bloggers on the Search space. One can tune into Infantry Division out of Fort Lewis, WA. He shot this the war as it happens daily. Soon, soldiers will be footage when they were sent to help an Iraqi police able to Pod-Cast their videos directly to the States station that had come under fire in the Diyala Prov- during the battle when they have a moment to rest. ince. The action involves the men running across the War will never be the same. street while the other men give them suppressing fire, then clearing the buildings and going to the roof- Band of Bloggers can be seen on the History tops to spot the insurgents. Channel when regular airing returns. in the mean- Clearly, this type of crowded urban warfare is time, check out the videos on history.com

12 december 20-26, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper netscapades by brenton crozier the santa debate: point – counterpoint

Even more heated than the 08 Presidential debates, the argument over which train wreck is more grati- fying to watch, Brittany Spears or Lindsay Lohan, and the never-ending tastes great versus less filling dispute, we have the Santa Claus debate. Is this so-called St. Nick good or evil? I have traveled the often scary and rarely illuminating channels of the Internet to bring you both sides of this significant discussion. www.landoverbaptist.org/subjectarchive/christmas.html

Point: Santa Claus is Satan. The Landover Baptist Church, in its satirical and bitter glory, claims that the devil indeed, “Is in your chimney.” They have alleged that Satan’s plan was to create jobs for homeless hobos and it quickly digresses from there about their videogames intentions. It is their belief that Satan was jealous of the widespread and steadfast embrace of Christmas, so he tried to undermine it by making Santa even more by Norm stovall [email protected] popular than Jesus. I must say, I wasn’t convinced, but they pointed out that there are now laws that forbid a baby Jesus Unreal Tournament 3 in town squares. And who do you find in his place? For PS3 and Windows XP/Vista You guessed it. You will find that urine-stained, whis- key breath (or rubbing alcohol depending on whether For those of you familiar with PC gaming, you’ll probably recognize the Unreal name. Unreal Tourna- ment 3 is the next installment of the popular Unreal product line, and the game improves upon its predeces- they’ve been paid yet) servant of the devil, Santa. sors in a big way, including terrific cross-platform support and the emphasis of user-created content on both Ouch. What say you Santa supporters? the PS3 and the PC platform. The game itself plays very much like Unreal Tournament and Unreal Tournament 2003, which featured great first-person action and graphics that took full advantage of the processors that ran www.clausibelieve.com them. Finally, with the PS3, console gamers are able to compete with their friends online using the preferred control method of the FPS genre, the keyboard and mouse. While PC users have enjoyed this luxury since the Counterpoint: He must be good because he wants to help days of Doom, until now console gamers were stuck with Quake 3 Arena for the Dreamcast, and official sup- spread the Spirit of Christmas. These Santa supporters claim port for that title is long gone. that Claus is a 6’6”, 300 lb. jolly elf. Contained within the web- Not to worry if you don’t feel like using a keyboard and mouse, though, The Sixaxis controller works site in the Nice List section is an open letter to “believers.” This perfectly fine, and many console gamers are capable of holding their own with a gamepad. In addition to letter states that Santa is declaring the time from Thanksgiving controlling using the analog sticks to move and aim, you can tilt the controller to dodge and wall jump, which seems a little complicated at first, but ultimately works pretty well. The gameplay is the same as always, to New Years as the month of NICE. Through rigorous examina- you can go for instant action and run into a map with guns blazing in Deathmatch mode, trying to score as tion, I found that the word nice appears in his letter eight times. many frags (kills) as possible in the time limit. In Capture the Flag mode, your goal is to steal the enemies’ Yes, eight times. You do the math. I further uncovered that by flag and return it to your base, while they do the same to you. Between you and your team members, you switching the letters of the word nice around, you get ECIN. And must manage to defend your base accordingly, and learn when to go for it and when to defend. There are what happens when you search for ECIN? You get ecinsolucio- some other multiplayer modes included as well, but the real meat and potatoes of the game are Deathmatch, nes.com. team Deathmatch, and Capture the Flag. During the action, you’ll take advantage of classic Unreal weaponry, That’s correct, ECIN soluciones informaticas—what I including rocket launchers; chain guns, sniper rifles, and shock rifles, in addition to using power-ups such as believe is the real Santa plot in a language known to his “follow- jump boots and body armor. All the game modes run well, and its great to finally have a PS3 game that deliv- ers” as Spanish. I may not be able to “read” this “Spanish,” but ers what first-person shooter fans deserve to have on the console—A great action game that not only looks I’m no fool. There is a globe on the home page people, a globe! Wake up! great, but plays great too. Unreal Tournament 3 won’t disappoint.

By the way, Claus I Believe offers a chance to book Santa for appearances in which he will dance, sing, give out candy and gifts and let children sit on his lap—oh yeah, and steal your children’s Arkadian Warriors soul! Be sure to look in the photos section where you will find a picture of Santa with his good friend For Xbox 360/Xbox Live Arcade and Oprah’s boy toy Stedman. Further proof of evil my friends. This counterpoint has certainly turned (Downloadable) sour for the Santa-is-not-evil crowd. Don’t be spreading your “spirit” to my home sir. Are you familiar with the clas- www.biblebelievers.com/jmelton/SantaClause.html sic arcade game Gauntlet? You are? Terrific. That’s exactly what Arkadian This may be the last nail in the coffin of pro Santa groups. After a brief history lesson, these Warriors is. Well, almost. It’s like astute theologians go point-by-point in spelling out the basis for why you should believe that Santa is Gauntlet, in that you are trawling dun- geons, collecting gold, potions, keys, evil, and perhaps, is Satan. and items that make funny noises, and There are a couple of points in particular that stood out to me. “Santa Claus lives at the North you play as either a warrior, a magi- Pole, a place ABOVE the rest of us.” Not enough? How about this, “Santa wears a red furry suit,” is cian, an archer, or a member of Led “always pictured as an old man with white hair like wool” and “has the ability to defy the laws of grav- Zeppelin. It does improve upon the formula though, as Arkadian Warriors includes a somewhat interesting ity and fly around giving gifts to people.” A Bible verse that loosely corresponds to each argument is story that tells the tale of your hero being the descendant of a great animal god. Being the descendant of an supplied, but more importantly, these points spell out what everyone has been scared to say, Santa is animal god allows you to do awesome things, such as turning into a beastly beast, kicking asses, and taking an evil plot and a bit of a freak. names. (When you have a full meter, of course.). Make up your own mind based on the evidence presented. If you have the evil inclination to sup- You can also take the gold you collect from enemies and buy new items, which is also pretty cool. The port Santa and his causes, so be it, that is totally up to you. Merry Christmas Netscapade fans, friends whole concept is pretty basic and straightforward, but Arkadian Warriors does have its charm, and it does and family! what it’s meant to rather well. Like I said, if you like the classic arcade game Gauntlet, you’ll probably like this title as well.

eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 13 a bit of a twist on the standard dish. Cobblestones at Harbour Village where to eat, drink and be merry. by Erin thursby [email protected] Since opening in 2005 Cobblestones has fast become a Jacksonville staple. It’s casual fine dining, not quite white table cloth, but with a classy vibe. They’ve consistently turned out good food at their Julington Creek locale. Cobblestones’ Signature They also have a second location in Jacksonville that you might not know about, which opened Fusion Fillet this year. It’s in the Harbour Village shopping plaza, along with my favorite family-run gelato place, Bella’s. Entrées at Cobblestones range in price from about $14-27, with steaks on the high end of that, and pastas on the lower end. Although there are two Cobblestones in the city, they aren’t cookie cutter or corporate-ized. Each location caters to the local neighborhood’s needs. Chef Greg Desanto of the Harbour Village location says that his restaurant is more geared toward seafood than the Julington Creek locale. “It might be because we’re nearer to the beach,” says De- santo, “but there’s more of a demand for it here.” Seafood entrées include tilapia crab au gratin, grilled sea bass with a citrus cilantro butter and macadamia crusted flounder. They keep things simple with their grilled salmon, serving it up with a lemon caper cream sauce. They still have many of the beef selections on their menu that brought back customers to the Julington Creek location again and again. I sampled their Signature Fusion Fillet, a 9-ounce fillet broiled with fresh mushrooms, roma tomatoes, prosciutto and veal sauce topped with bleu cheese crumbles. The taste is an intense synthesis of flavor, as well balanced as a samurai sword, but far more savory. Their ahi tuna ranks up there as one of the best I’ve had in the area. It, like most seared ahi prepa- rations, plates well, but it packs an unusual punch in flavor. It’s topped with a ginger sambal sauce, giv- ing it a light sweetness, countermeasured with a subtle salty heat and sesame flavor. If you’re into more traditional presentations of ahi, you might be a little taken aback, since it isn’t the standard. I loved it because it was a bit of a twist on the standard. I’m already craving it again. Most of their common appetizer selections have that twist. The calamari is served with a chipotle remoulade and the grilled shrimp is served with a Caribbean mango barbecue sauce. They stay close enough to the standard prep so they won’t scare off conservative Jacksonville diners, but they aren’t

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dish update

The on again off again Heartworks Bakery and Café in 5 Points has finally actually been closed for good, at least under the ownership of Elaine Wheeler. The vegetarian bakery has been struggling for years. It was posted for sale on Craigslist a few weeks ago, including the Heartworks name. Because the business has opened and closed so much, they haven’t been able to get their asking price of $125,000, so the price has fallen substantially to $45,000. Remember, if you’ve got any dish on Jacksonville food and drink, do send us an email at [email protected].

14 december 20-26, 2007| entertaining u newspaper serving stuff you could get at a TGI Fridays. Other appetizers you might want to try are their blue crabmeat stuffed mushrooms, their Maryland crabcakes (served with a Key lime tartar sauce) and their signature Creek Chips. The chips are Yukon Gold potato chips with melted gorgonzola cheese and marinated sun-dried tomato.

Something else you might crave once you’ve had it—Cobblestones’ Mini Indulgences. If you want just a little dessert, this is what you’ll want to go for! They’re just $2.15 each, served in tall double shot glasses. There are generally a number of flavors to choose from: lemon meringue, cheese cake, choco- late mousse, raspberry pie and more. Get a sampler of minis for a real experience in flavor. If you’d rather drink than eat, the Harbour Village location has a great little bar and a most fab se- lection of martinis. Check out $4 martini Thursdays. If you’re more of a wino, try Mondays for their ½ price wine. If you’re an equal opportunity drinker, take Monday off of work and go to Cobblestones on Sunday, when they have their all day happy hour. Pace yourself though, it’s not a dive bar!

13475 Atlantic Blvd. Jacksonville, FL 32099 (904) 220-7844 chef profile Greg Desanto of Cobblestones at Harbour Village

Favorite ingredient? JACKSONVILLE It’s lamb, I love lamb

Sweet, sour or salty? advertise your It’s salty. I would much rather have a bag of chips than a dessert. restaurant here.

Appetizer, entrée or dessert. Appetizer. The last restaurant that I came from was a tapas menu, so I like the small flavors, I like to vary things up.

If you could have one cooking tool (other than a chef’s knife) on a strange desert island with plenty of electrical power, what would it be? let EU spotlight your dish. join A sauté station…Most chefs, they’re either sauté or grill. I’m sauté. I like local foodies by digging into the building of the dish, the building of the flavor…You’re really building our dish section every week. the flavor from ground zero. call (904) 730-3003 to advertise

eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 15 Dearest Sinterklaas, Please bring my friend Jacksonville some new, awesome places for Jacksonville’s bands to play, and for Jacksonville’s fans of good music to go hang out and support their scene. Since I moved to Austin, Texas, I’ve been spoiled with tons of cool places to see really awesome original and cover bands every night of the week, and my friend Jacksonville deserves the same thing. The musicians in town deserve a better network of places to play, and a better outlet for their creativity and talent. They’ve been good boys and girls this year. Also, please bring my friend Jacksonville a really good radio station that supports the music scene. They haven’t had one of those in a long time. I miss my friend Jacksonville. I hope they get what they want for Christmas, and Santa, you can help!

Your friend, Brian Vitellaro, Continuity Director, Clear Channel in Austin

Santa, If it weren’t for your awesome mission, Dear Santa, what would you do? Can you even think in those 1 hour of terms? What if, one day, you became so ex- sports radio hausted with the year-after-year of gift construc- tion and delivery and visits with so many kids in without the so many shopping malls - defying hilarious time/ mention of space constrictions - so many shopping malls at the same time! - that you would finally decide Tebow! to just promote an elf and take off to somewhere else. Where would that be? Jason Lewis I’m guessing that you hate coming to plac- es like Jacksonville. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t of Orange Garden Productions have to be. You wouldn’t live here, of course. The busiest part of the landscape is the least Dear Santa, inspiring, what is advertised as its culture (which letters to santa What I would like for Christmas more than is not, in fact, its culture) is delusional and over- wrought – its perpetrators defensive in the face anything else in the world is a little piece of mind. from readers, writers, and local folks of good-intentioned criticism, the infrastructure Preferably my own, because I really wouldn’t want is hungry – demanding and begging for even anyone else’s brain matter mixed in with mine. Hey Big Red, more money and trust for who-knows-what. I’m sure there’d be some chance for diseases or As the Kinks said, “Father Christmas, give me some money…save all your toys for the little rich boys.” Ugh. something if I mixed mine with someone else’s.... Which brings me to the first thing I want for Christmas – a better economy. Seriously, everyone is broke and I bet you’d live in the Pacific Northwest. but I’m positive that I lost a big chunk of my own it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. I’m not trying to be political, and I’m certainly no economist, so I The mountains and fog are very nice. brain somewhere along the way this year. And I have won’t cast blame where I think it appears obvious. I don’t care what president you give us in 08, as long as it Also, I do not have a Wii, but I’d very no idea where I put the warranty information. isn’t Ron Paul or Mitt Romney. I don’t think we could survive them right now. much like to be able to play Super Mario Galaxy. As for Jacksonville specifically, I’d really like a new live music venue. Something like the Social in Or- And hey, how about opening a Wagamama Whatever you could do to help would be much lando. A place that books mid-size acts, but one that is friendlier than Freebird and in town. It would also be location somewhere in this country? appreciated! cool if we could get those parking meters they have in St. Augustine that take plastic and bills and everything. Who carries change these days? Maxwell Wood, co-owner of the Discos Sincerely, Lastly, I want you to make Jacksonville University act like a real college. They should restore Arlington, Mariscos record label Jennie Jarvis, Artistic Director of the cultivate an art scene, and start a really kick ass college radio station in town. Can you hook them up with all Orpheus Theater Group those ideas? That’d be great. That’d be the best Christmas ever. I’d also like an iPhone. Dear Santa, Thanks Honky! For Christmas i would greatly appreciate a letter, perhaps even Jon Bosworth, Managing Editor, EU Jacksonville a book, explaining once and for all if you are a Saint or Satan. i Don’t understand why you dropped the Nicholas, or how much you are responsible for all that dreadful Krampus lore. i’Ve even heard that you We asked Jacksonville to write a letter to Santa. People were free are supposed to represent one of the wise men attending the nativity, but to write about anything from dropping actual gift hints to making i can’t imagine which gift you’d be responsible for. My guess would be gold since children don’t usually appreciate the deep meanings behind a plea on behalf of the city. What we received back is definitely perfume or incense. It would be nice to imagine that a member of the hippy community was present at the birth of the Saviour. i Once met a an interesting story of what Jacksonville wants this holiday sea- hippy that said that Santa was actually Jesus, visiting himself at birth to give advice on how to best achieve His Life’s Mission from another son. We couldn’t fit all of the letters here, look for many more at plane, but i think that particular hippy had been enjoying too much incense. There are others who say you represent the Pope, though i don’t eujacksonville.com. remember the Pope ever wearing that much red. Others say you’re the key to middle earth lore. Regardless, i do hope you’ll understand my confusion and give me what i want more Dear Santa, than anything: Answers. i’Ve been pretty good this year- other than being a bit nosy. If that reQuest doesn’t work for you, just Please bring me a filet mignon send me a deluxe ProTools set up, a Gibson 335 and a grand piano. Don’t worry- it can be a used one. from Chew restaurant. i’M not demanding. Oh ya, and a one man exhibit at The Whitney in New York. If you don’t get around to me, that’s cool. i’M still praying to Jesus for all of this stuff. You’ve never really come through for me, and i’m still feeling pretty sure you’re just supposed to distract me from the original holiday. If not, prove me Thanks big guy, wrong. Thanks. Brian Jerin of the band Truly, Shangrala mactruQue, Artist

16 december 20-26, 2007| entertaining u newspaper Dear Santa or Mrs. Claus (we know she is the real boss anyways),

For Christmas this year, I would like Shangrala to sell 1 million copies of their new CD. I would like for The Black Kids to be on the COVER of Rolling Stone (not just a blurb about a “band to watch”). I would like to see the Hives come back to Jacksonville soon (probably the best show I have seen since Le Tigre at Jack Rabbits). I would like everyone to make plans now to attend Talleyrand 2008 (if you missed 2007, you missed a great day). I would like everyone to also make plans to attend AT LEAST one show at Jack Rabbits between Feb 15-23rd, 2008 (it’s Jack Rabbits 9 year anniversary, 9 fine shows for 9 fine years!). And what I want the most is for the people of Jacksonville to go out and support local music in any form at any place in Jacksonville!

Tim Hall, owner of Jack Rabbits and Jax Live

Dear Santa, It has been a long time since I have written. I think 1981 to be exact. That was the year that I asked for the pony and you did not bring it to me. My mom said it was because the two bedroom apartment we lived in was not very “pony friendly,” but I like to think that it was because it did not fit in the sleigh. Either way, I am over it and I would like to move on to 2007. So, I have done a lot of growing up since our last corre- spondence, and this year, I am going to go with a more practical and less selfish request. This year, Santa, I would like you to bring the City of Jacksonville a new recycling program. I know it seems strange that a city as progressive and large as Jacksonville would need something like this, but sadly, it is true. Can you believe that down- town does not even offer recycling to its businesses and tenants? Or that there are many recyclable items that the city will not pick up, like pizza boxes, plastic plant containers, and cereal boxes? It would be great if you could drop a recycling plan on Mayor Peyton’s desk that models that of other cities/states like New Jersey (they have a surprisingly fabulous recycling program), San Francisco and Seattle. It just seems so silly that, in a time of global climate change and planetary crisis, we would not embark on something as simple as recycling. I am sure that the city would be grateful and proud to be a part of the solution instead of the problem. Thanks Santa! I am sure that you will find this to be a more realistic request than that pony I asked for. Sincerely, Brenda Egedy Kolb, TigerLily Media

Dear Santa, We have been a very good little theater this Dear Santa, year, so here is our Christmas list: Jacksonville and I have been very, very good 1. A laptop computer for our lighting system this year, so we’d like to ask you for a special 2. A CD player for our sound system present. I know you like music. ‘Frosty,’ and ‘Ru- 3. A video camera and monitor, so the lighting dolph’ and ‘Jingle Bells’ are some of my favorite technician can actually SEE the stage 4. Volunteers to run sound and lights music. We’re having some music trouble here 5. More patrons, so all of our 85 seats will stay filled right now. Could you please help our Symphony all year! by bringing them an equitable settlement to their So, please, dear Santa, make our wishes come contract negotiation? They are having trouble true; and come see us! making ends meet right now, and would REALLY Your favorite little beaches theater, appreciate your assistance. Thanks! Tell Rudolph Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre hi! Celia Frank, Managing Artistic Director of Pat Crandall ABET

Dear Santa, I would like to see the crime rate go down in Jacksonville in 2008, especially the Black on Black murder rate. I would like to see the youth of Jacksonville grasp the concept that they will one day become adults with a family and set a foundation for that by at least graduating from high school. Our drop out rate in the urban community is ridiculous and has not been addressed properly as of yet. I’m tired of all the high school coaches concerned more about winning championships when star player(s) cannot pass the FCAT or score admissions on the boards (SAT/ACT). A high school coach in the past was based upon how many kids/players he got into in college. What happened? I would like to see a leader from the black community step forward and make their presence known, and not for any profit or monetary gains (NO MORE MEGA CHURCHES). I would like for dance music to make a return (95 South, 69 Boyz for example). I’m tired of hearing about drugs, guns, cars, jewelry and loose women. Its time to stop being so angry and have fun again, my kids (all our kids) need this. And finally I would like for PRIDE to return to people of color, take back our communities and raise our children (black men step up). Parents, be parents and RAISE YOUR KIDS. I know this a lot for Santa so you may need to ask Jesus for a lil help. Derek “D Wash” Washington, Upstart Entertainment & Record Pool

eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 17 Burning Nightmare Before Christmas featuring: DEVEREUX Christmas doesn’t have to filled with holiday cheer. and guests Take a break from all that on December 21st at 8 pm. Get away from tinsel and holiday mirth by changing Location: The French Quarter things up a bit at Jack Rabbits on the 23rd of De- cember. Location: Jack Rabbits Murray Hill Theatre AND Second Thief present: The Christmas Show!! Winter Break From metal core to indie pop, you’ll be sure to find The Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens will celebrate the at least one band you like at this show. Each band New Year with music from around the world from will play their versions of at least 1 or two Christ- December 26, 2007-January 6, 2007. Kids will love mas songs on Saturday, December 22nd at 8:00 pm the giant inflatable slide, bounce house, face paint- Featuring Second Thief + Lots of bands- $8 ing, animal encounters, prize drawing, and visits Location: Murray Hill Theatre Info: murrayhilltheatre. from Jazoo. Location: Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens com/schedule.htm Info: jaxzoo.org holiday events

Annual Downtown Festival of Trees tion to scrapes with miscast Santas and obnoxious Running now through January 5th at the Main Li- customers, enjoy David Sedaris’ account of being brary, the Junior League of Jacksonville is proud to a Macy’s elf as performed by local actor Ian Mairs announce the 2007 Festival of Trees. Guaranteed inside of MOCA Jacksonville’s theatre downtown. fun for the young and young at heart will be found December 19-21, 2007 at 7:30 pm. downtown, as the library is transformed into a magical playground. Main Library, 303 North Laura Alhambra’s A Christmas Carole Street. Info: juniorleagueofjax.org or 904-387-9927. Through December 23. To be a true Jacksonvil- lian you have to see Alhambra version of this old A Christmas Carole at the Hippodrome favorite. It has been around for than twenty years. Through December 24th (adapted by Mary Hausch). This production, based on Charles Dickens’ classic new year’s eve Gainesville has traditions too, and the Hippodrome’s story, brings to life one of literatures most famous 30th Annual Production of A Christmas Carole is penny-pinchers, Ebenezer Scrooge. Whether you one of them. Join Scrooge, the Cratchits and all the celebrate Christmas, or just like a good ghost story, usual ghosties. Dazzling special effects have made Christmas Carole is fun for the entire family. It’s a this a popular holiday “thing” down in the land of memorable, musical voyage to Victorian England to the Gators. Info: (352) 375-HIPP or thehipp.org find out how a miserly skinflint discovers the true events Location: The Hippodrome, Gainesville, FL meaning of Christmas in a most unusual way. Info: (904) 641-1212 or 1-800-688-7469 Tickets: $39- New Year’s Eve Fireworks Spectacular viewed from the Northbank and the Southbank. First Coast Winter Lights in Clay County 46, includes dinner and show. Location: Alhambra Presented by the City of Jacksonville at midnight. A drive-thru light display, ice skating, drive in mov- Dinner Theatre Count down to 2008 with a spectacular fireworks New Year’s Eve Party at the Jacksonville Landing ies and more at the Reynolds Park Yacht Center in display over the St. Johns River which will light up Courtyard Green Cove Springs through January 1. A Christmas Carole at The Florida Theatre the night sky in celebration of the New Year. Fire- All visitors must be 21 years or older or accompa- December 21st at 7:30 pm. You know the story-- works will be shot from one barge in front of The nied by a parent or legal guardian, show Military I.D. Nights of Lights Ebenezer Scrooge, a most unrepentant, miserly Jacksonville Landing and another barge in front or posses a Gator Bowl Patch. All Landing restau- More than two million tiny white lights will glow fellow, is made to see the light as he survives a of the Hyatt Regency Hotel. The fireworks can be rants will observe extended hours until 2 am. along the ancient streets and historic buildings of merciless battery of revelations by the ghosts of his the Nation’s oldest city as the 14th Annual Nights of own Christmases: Past, Present and Future. In the bars and clubs Lights celebration sparkles to life in Downtown St. Florida Theatre version, superb sets have been spe- Augustine through Jan. 31. cially designed by the celebrated scenic designer, The Pearl (1101 N Main St in Springfield next to Downtown Jacksonville, on the corner of 1st and Main St.) Larry Kaushansky (formerly Lazar Michailovich Dance in the New Year with your favorite indie DJs, join in on the champagne toast or just have your favorite Winter Wonderland Kaushansky), for many years Russia’s reigning set cocktail on the patio. Call (904) 791-4499 or visit myspace.com/thepearlofspringfield for details. Slide into a Winter Wonderland at the St. Augustine and costume design genius. Tickets run from about TSI Discotheque (333 E. Bay Street in Downtown Jacksonville) TSI’s 2 nd Annual Silver and Gold Ball will be Amphitheatre and test your skills on a large ice skat- $24-38. Info: (904) 355-2787 or floridatheatre.com the hipster dream party. Featuring a free champagne toast and a VIP area upstairs. Call (904) 424-3531 or ing rink while it really snows, visit the elf village and Location: The Florida Theatre, Downtown visit clubtsi.com for details. see Santa Claus himself! Enjoy sleigh rides through Freebird Live (200 N 1st St in Jacksonville Beach) Have a funky blues New Year with JJ Grey and Mofro lit nature trails, holiday shopping, children’s story- Fogle Fine Art Holiday Show along with special guest Inca maya. Call (904) 246-BIRD or visit freebirdlive.com for details. book readings, s’mores on an open fire and Theatre Be unique! Visit Fogle Fine Art & Accessories an- Mark’s and Dive Bar (315 and 331 E. Bay Street Downtown) For a downtown New Years, just pay $5 and get St. Augustine’s performance of O. Henry’s The Gift nual holiday show for inspirational decorating into both adjacent clubs. If you don’t like the DJ in one club, just scoot over to the other. Call (904) 359-9090 of the Magi at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre at ideas. Displays feature trees, ornaments and other or visit marksjax.com for details. select times through January 6th. 1340 A1A South, festive accessories. Located at 3312 Beach Blvd, Tera Nova Lounge (8206 Philips Hwy, at the corner of Baymeadows Rd.) Partake in a Champagne Toast to Info: 904-471-1965 or staugamphitheatre.com. M-F 10-6, Sat 10-4, Info: foglefineart.com. Hot Dance Music with Epiphany. Call (800) 557-5808 or visit teranovalounge.com for details. The Ocean Club (401 North 1st Street, Jacksonville Beach) Party til 4 am at one of Jacksonville Beach’s hot- Santaland Diaries at MOCA Jacksonville The Nightmare Before Christmas Show with Obitu- test dance clubs. There will ba a balloon drop, a champagne toast at midnight and a live feed of Times Square From the humiliating interviews and elf indoctrina- ary, Sadus, Pain Principle and From Blood and for the big ball drop. Call (904) 242-8884 or go to oceanclubjax.com

18 december 20-26, 2007| entertaining u newspaper The Globe (11000 Beach Blvd) It will be snowing at the Globe on New Year’s Eve. Their flyer said: “An All White Affair to Remember” - whatever that means. Jon Wilkes from Red Jumpsuit will be performing as will Rob Roy, DJ Capone and Miguel Alvarez. Free champagne toast at midnight, a thousand balloon drop and gift gator bowl events bags for the ladies. Call (904) 997-2063 or visit theglobenightclub.com for details. Tradewinds Lounge (124 Charlotte St. in St. Augustine) Party in the New Year at the oldest lounge in the old- est city. Limited seating with live music by Matanzas. Call (904) 829-9336 for details. From our famous world-class fireworks shows to the stellar lineup of new and annual events, there Whitey’s Fish Camp (CR-220 on Fleming Island in Orange Park) For a quintessential Florida experience, head is nothing quite like Gator Bowl weekend in the River City. This holiday weekend combines two of to the waterfront party place, Whitey’s. Once again the Boogie Freaks will entertain. There will be giveaways Jacksonville’s favorite things: a new year with new hopes, and a college bowl game. Expect downtown to all night, a balloon drop, champagne toast and breakfast at midnight. Come in a boat and stay all night! come to life with locals and travelers alike. Most of these events can be found on the city website (coj.net) Bloody Marys served in the am. Call (904) 269-4198 for details. when you search New Years, but we’ve listed those events and more. If you are not excited about the hectic events associated with the Gator Bowl, we have plenty of other events around town for you to occupy your new year’s eve eats time with. Navigate all of your options with EU. GET A PATCH

The Grape (904) 642-7111 will feature a great spread for New Year’s Eve. Lobster and Crab Stuffed December 31st January 1st 2008 Baby Portabellos, Honey Roasted Pear Salad, Rosemary Crusted Filet Mignon, Wildberry Charlotte with Sea- sonal Berry Coulis and a cheese course are just some of the things you’ll find on your plate at The Grape’s VyStar Credit Union 5K Run, 2 pm Budweiser Tailgate Party, 10 am - 1 pm New Year’s feast. Call for reservations, they are filling up fast. The Grape will have a six course wine dinner at Held right before the Gator Bowl Parade, it runs Jacksonville Municipal Stadium Pepsi Pavilion $100 a person, including a champagne toast. Featuring music from the Ray Love Jazz Trio. along the parade route through downtown Jackson- Enjoy the thrill and excitement of college football The Wine Cellar will be serving a luscious five-course meal, at just $65, a great deal considering the ville. Each entrant will receive a VyStar Credit Union as thousands of out-of-town fans come together to high quality of their cuisine. Be aware that they also charge an automatic 20% gratuity. Appetizer choices 5K Run T-shirt. Cost: $20 before December 30 and celebrate their team in a festive and family-oriented include Shrimp and Corn Bisque, Thai-Inspired Scallops, Crab Cakes and more. You’ll finish the meal with a $25 on race day. Info: 1stplacesports.com and coj. entertainment atmosphere. Truly a party where team Warm Champagne Sabayon Served with Fresh Berries, Hazelnut Encrusted Chocolate Torte Topped with Fresh net. spirit abounds, there will be pep rallies, cheerleaders Raspberries, or a classic Key Lime Pie. Call (904) 398-8989 for reservations. and bands from both Universities that will be sure The homey Back Porch Café features a fixed price menu for $20.08. As always, they match the price to Winn-Dixie Hometown Gator Bowl Parade, 3 pm to ignite the passion in every college football fan. A the year! You’ll get a soup or salad and an entrée selection. A few selections from the regular menu will also The “Still Rockin’ at 60”-themed parade features multitude of interactive games will be available to be available a la carte. Reservations only. Call (904) 998-9918. There will be three seatings: 5 pm, 7:15 pm colorful floats, high school bands, college bands, test your athletic skills, a variety of inflatables will and 9 pm. giant helium balloons, and entertaining specialty be available for kids of all ages to enjoy and all of This year Bistro Aix will serve from a special menu that features some of their most popular dishes as units. The units will be routed through the North- your tailgating concession essentials will make this well as many new items prepared just for New Year’s Eve. They also offer wine pairing suggestions with each bank in downtown Jacksonville. Gator Bowl Asso- a Tailgate Party not to miss! Cost: $10 at the gate or appetizer and entrée to make it easier for guests to find the perfect match for their menu choices. Preferred ciation Cost: $10 for a reserved parade seat. free admission with the PATCH Info: coj.net. Seating begins at 5 pm. Please call (904) 398-1949 for more info. Pastiche will have 3 seatings on New Year’s Eve between 5:30-10:00 pm. Serving from their full dinner Gator Bowl Pep Rallies at the Landing Courtyard Toyota Gator Bowl Classic, Kickoff 1 pm menu, there are no up charges or surprises. Expect selections such as venison, rabbit, jumbo ocean scallops, TBD Pep Rally: 1:30 pm & TBD Pep Rally: 5:30 pm Jacksonville Municipal Stadium Crispy Pork Belly with Truffled Grits, Steak Tartare and Soupe de Poisson. Call (904) 387-6213 to reserve Get pumped up for the Toyota Gator Bowl Classic! With 6 Heisman trophy winners, 175 all-Americans your seat. Excited fans are invited to show their team spirit at and over 1,000,000 fans, the Toyota Gator Bowl Put a little of the Mediterranean into your New Year. The classy Zaitoon seats twice, once at 6 pm and the Pep Rallies at The Jacksonville Landing. Join the is truly become more than a football game....it is a once at 9 pm. The four course meal and champagne toast is $75 a person, reservation required. Call (904) bands, cheerleaders, and mascot in the excitement premiere event of Florida’s First Coast. Info: gator- 221-7066. on New Year’s Eve. Info: coj.net. bowl.com laughs for new year’s

The Gypsy Comedy Club New Year’s Eve Party kicks off with appetizers at 8:30 pm followed by dinner and stand up performances by Jerry Farber and Amy Beckham. Music will be played throughout the night with prize give-a-ways. Tickets are $70. For reservations call (904) 461-8843. At the Comedy Zone’s New Years Eve Celebration there will comedy, dancing and a champagne toast at midnight as you watch the ball drop in the Comedy Zone with Russ Nagel, Mike Stork and Dan Johnson. Music will be a broad range of music including oldies, top 40, hip-hop, and country with DJ’s from DeLand Entertainment. Everyone get party favors: hats, lei’s, noise makers and streamers. Multiple packages avail- able. Call for details. (904) 292-4242 new year’s in a hotel

Most every hotel with a restaurant and bar will be holding some kind of New Year’s bash, get a room so you can just trundle up to bed after getting completely pie-eyed. The beaches have a myriad of bar/hotel options. Here’s just a few of the places you can go in Ponte Vedra, St. Augustine and Amelia Island: At the Ritz-Carlton in Amelia Island, you can take in New Year’s Eve at their Glacial Gala at the Polar Bar featuring a martini ice luge. Take a walk in the ice garden, enjoy live music, dancing, an extravagant buffet, open bar, complimentary champagne and midnight fireworks. Cost is $175 per person. There are also pack- ages that include rooms. Call (904) 277-1028 for info. Popular ‘60s band The Swingin’ Medallions will return to Northeast Florida to again perform at the big New Year’s Eve bash at The Renaissance Resort at World Golf Village in St. Augustine. Famous for such classics as the million-selling ‘Double Shot (of My Baby’s Love)’ and ‘Hey, Hey, Baby,’ The Swingin’ Medal- lions are known for their impressive stage shows and are often called “The Party Band of the South.” Things start to swing at 6:30 p.m. For more information call (904) 940-8000 or visit worldgolfrenaissance.com. You can party, eat fabulous food or both at the Marriot Sawgrass in Ponte Vedra. Choose from two venues within the hotel. There will be a Vegas style casino for entertainment as well as live acts and all the usual drinks and favors. (904) 285-7777. new year’s eve for the kids

Join Radio Disney for the Zoo’s Annual Noon Year’s Eve Celebration! Count down the hours until 2008 with music and entertainment provided by Radio Disney and an apple juice toast at 12 noon. Jackson- ville Zoo and Gardens. jaxzoo.org Kids 12 and under can enjoy All-U-Can-Play go-karts, miniature golf, and laser tag for only $10 per person from 10 am to 2 pm. At noon, in celebration of the New Year, kids can participate in a balloon drop-- Adventure Landing’s Noon Years Eve. All balloons are filled with prizes. Adventure Landing, Jax Beach(904) 246-4386

eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 19 Jersey for the annual Sopranos’ Gumba Festival (only kidding). live music & My favorite boats were the Row Boat Guy who had strung lights around his boat, on his oars, and around his body. It was original and I admired shows calendar his stamina rowing around the creek. The Pirate boat was also cool. They were decked out in pirate costumes and fired a real cannon. Man, it was loud. THURSDAY, DECEMBER 20 The captain of the “Jolly Roger” was a pirate Santa. Pianist Tim Nold Seawalk Hotel, Jax Beach (249- Hey, there were no pirate Santas in the real pirate 9981) world. But anything goes during the silly season. As usual, there were way too many plastic Cloud 9 Twisted Martini, Ponte Vedra Beach Santas on the boats. And yes, the singing Santa on (280-8810) his electronic keyboard was back with his Santa- ettes singing Christmas songs. Clearly, though, the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus Maverick’s, Jax (356- families who came out to see the Whitey’s light 1110) parade enjoyed the event. I was concerned for the Lauren Fincham MOCA, Jax kids running around the narrow dock, which has no guard rails. Someone should have cleared the Open Mic w/Colleen Murphy Trade Winds overflow throng off the dock as a safety measure. Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646) The judges included me, David A. Brown from The Possums Duo Creekside Dinery, St. the Neighbor to Neighbor, David T. Brown from The Fleming Island Herald, and Eve Szymaniki of the Clay Augustine (829-6113) County Chamber of Commerce. Everyone liked the The Pictureshow Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) Row Boat Guy–a creative departure from the endless plastic Santas. Chuck Nash My Place, Jax (737-5299) Since Fleming Island has grown exponentially Normaltown Ragtime, Jax Beach (241-7877) in recent years, Whitey’s Light Parade has become a big community happening. It’s Whitey’s biggest night Ron Rodriguez Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997- for the restaurant and the bar. The parking lot fills 1955) up quickly, so Whitey’s provides parking across the Astronautalis Eclipse, Jax (387-3582) bridge with a van shuttle bringing people to and from the site. Jim Brickman Florida Theatre, Jax

Dez Nado TSI, Jax (635-3024) Will Neal Maverick’s, Jax crowds, lights, boats Livid Stadium Club, Jax (641-2301)

Flathead Fred Doozers, Jax Alexis Cone Landing, Jax Whitey’s Light Parade 2007 Mariachi Guadalajara Jimadores, Jax (739-5828)

Mr. Natural Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park by Rick grant [email protected] (269-4198) Over the years, Whitey’s Fish Camp’s annual remember from years prior. Boogie Freaks Square One, Jax (306-9004) light parade has burgeoned into a major Fleming Twenty-two boats entered the event, decorated Island Event. This year, Whitey’s was teeming with with Christmas lights and various themes. The Steve Plays Too Loud London Bridge, Jax (359- people viewing the light parade. I’ve judged the event winning boat captain received two round-trip airline 0001) for many years and this year there were more people tickets to anywhere in the United States. Runner up Colton & Friends The Mill Top, St. Augustine jamming the outside deck and dock than I can received a round-trip airline ticket to Newark, New (829-2329)

Blistur Mercury Moon, Orange Park (215-8999)

Matt Still Paco’s, Jax Beach

Out of Hand Lynch’s, Jax Beach (249-5181)

Stu Weaver Coffee Roasters, Jax (260-0810)

Big Engine Box Seats, Jax (908-7328)

Matt Collins Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-5515)

Southbound Roadhouse, Orange Park (264-0611)

Will Pearsall A1A Aleworks, St. Augustine (829- 2977)

Ace Winn The Melting Pot, Jax

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 21

Sky Pilot Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)

Mike Sweet & Friends Mi Casa Café, St. Augustine (824-9317)

De Lions of Jah Culhane’s, Atlantic Beach (249- 9595)

20 december 20-26, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper described as “tinny and high end.” Brandon offered Rodageezer Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine to provide the low end to complete this garage-ey, (829-6113) shoegazer dance music. EU caught up with the Little Brown Peach Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246- Buffalo Tears at the Urban Jacksonville Blog Party at TSI on Saturday night. 2473) It was an early-ish show (9:30), but a good The Sweet Low Down Club 331, Jax crowd came out to support, check out the festivities, and Dance. Buffalo Tears packed some good looks: Alex Seier Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280- scarves, cool shoes,.. a girl drummer. I asked 5515) Wittekind what some of their goals are with the band. McKenna Jerry’s, Jax (220-6766) “Wicked looks, good shoes and the breaks,” he said only half serious (if at all). Slumpbusters Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) Their cool, downbeat stage presence meshes Crystal Bessels Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551) great with the sound, which is reminiscent of a later Flaming Groovies. The crowd was in a trance. Str8 Up West Inn Cantina, Jax (389-1131) “Writing songs and making good music,” is The Druids 9th & Main, Jax what Brandon Peck claims is their main goal. “The Jacksonville music scene has always been great, Elisabeth Cramer Uncommon Grounds, Jax even though no one knows about it,” Peck says. “It’s had its ups and downs, but there’s always Southern Trouble Baxters Wings, Middleburg been constants like Crash the Satellites and what Astronautalis Ocean Club, Jax Beach (242-8884) have you that keep it alive,” added Wittekind. Peck says one of his favorite bands has Busted & Confused Danny’s Sports Bar, Orange always been [Jacksonville’s garage revivalist] Thee Park Monarchy V, a band Wittekind played guitar and sang Black Kids TSI, Jax (635-3024) with. Joey remembers rocking out to Thee Monarchy V when he was in 9th grade. JoeEveritt Rebar, Jax “Buffalo Tears is an equal and opposite reaction Effed, Sly Poonce French Quarter, Jax (732-9550) to Thee Monarchy V,” says Wittekind. “It’s true,” says Peck, “Thee Monarchy V was Ace Winn Copelands, Jax trying to recreate the 60s sound, and if anything in the Buffalo Tears sounds retro, it’s just a product of Shawn Lightfoot The Grape, Jax (642-7111) our influences and what we listen to. Also having Flyin South Michelle’s, Jax Janie on drums, she doesn’t play those same ‘ole where the buffalo roam drum beats. It creates a great [damn the word] Yankee Slickers Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241- juxtaposition.” 6453) According to Wittekind, their influences range Livid Jackie’s Seafood, Jax the Urban Jacksonville Blog Party at TSI from “Buddy Holly to Martin Luther King Jr. to beer.” In addition to Thee Monarchy V, Wittekind Mint Julep Box Seats, Jax (908-7328) has also played with Jax bands The Riff Randels Dial 9 Fionn Maccool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499) by joel land (a Ramones tribute band in which he played Joey Ramone) and the under-noted Tuffy, who he still Johnny Flood Aromas, Jax (928-0515) The Buffalo Tears are one of the newest always knew they’d get something together one plays with from time to time. Cloud 9 Tom & Betty’s, Jax (387-3311) anomalies to arrive on the Jacksonville music scene. day. Joey met drummer Janie Faison at a party in So why are The Buffalo Tears an anomaly? Made up of band members Adam Wittekind (guitar, Riverside and decided to get together to see what They have talent, charm and “wicked good looks.” Zac Chester Casa Monica Hotel, St. Augustine vocals), Joey Simons (guitar), Brandon Peck (bass, would happen. Janie’s unique style was a perfect The Buffalo Tears are now in the studio vocals) and drummer Janie Faison, this relatively complement to Wittekind and Simons’ musical recording an EP and they are planning a Southeast Feel the Love Town Center, Jax new band has been playing house shows and tastes. tour in January and February of ‘08. Check out The frequenting venues such as ShantyTown Pub, TSI They were playing shows as a three piece Buffalo Tears at myspace.com/thebuffalotears or Discotheque and Jack Rabbits. Buffalo Tears started with an opening for a bass player when Brandon catch their live performance coming soon to a venue FRIDAY-SATURDAY, DECEMBER 21-22 with Wittekind and Simons, longtime friends who Peck went to check out their sound, which Brandon near you. Matanzas Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-9336)

Pili Pili Caribbee Key, Neptune Beach (270-8940)

Ron Perry Band Tailgaters, Green Cove Springs (529-1976)

Lyons Palace Saloon, Fernandina

After Eleven Brewsters, Jax (223-9850)

Out of Hand Lynch’s, Jax Beach (249-5181)

Quest Roadhouse, Orange Park (264-0611)

3 Way Street Ragtime, Jax Beach (241-7877)

M.A. Valenzano Ocean 60, Jax Beach (247-0060)

Those Guys A1A Aleworks, St. Augustine (829- 2977)

Hunnert Proof Cap’n Odie’s, Mayport (241-8848)

Dueling Pianos Dick’s Wings/Tinseltown, Jax

Blistur Monkey’s Uncle, Mandarin (260-1349)

Roger That Mercury Moon, Orange Park (215- 8999)

Big Blue Audio Cliff’s, Jax (645-5162)

eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 21 Lisa & the Madhatters Whitey’s Fish Camp, “There’s been a lot of other lineups, and some Orange Park (269-4198) have been really good, but none of them have had Tarik Hassan The Brick, Jax (387-0606) this level of commitment. This may be a somewhat new lineup, but it will be here for a long time,” said The Jalapeno Bros. Mill Top Tavern, St. Augustine NeSmith. (829-2329) Casper and the Cookies play a funky brand of psych-synth guitar pop with an unusually, perhaps even sarcastically, positive twist. From ass-shaking SATURDAY, DECEMBER 22 popsters such as ‘Hey Mr. Superstar’ and ‘Barking in the Garden’ to their more experimental ‘Power Robby Schenck Kickback’s, Jax (388-9551) Stupid’ from their upcoming EP 3 ½ Stars, they are Ladyfish Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473) the party music that plays in that darker back room that is always the coolest room in the party. Lavell Band Casa Monica Hotel, St. Augustine They are often referred to as ‘twee.” Southern Wailers Seven Bridges, Jax (997-1999) “I take the history [of ‘twee’] back to Jonathan Richmond, others call them the forefathers of Fusion Town Center, Jax punk too, which is funny to me. The Flaming Lips have done twee. It means rock that is wistful and Charlie Walker Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach childlike, I think.” (280-5515) Don’t refer to Casper and the Cookies as twee. Ritmo y Sabor El Taino Restaurant, Jax “Some of what we do has twee stuff, but it kind of makes us wanna puke.” Ghostwitch French Quarter, Jax (732-9550) And it should. They have more to offer than Our Name is Legion Shantytown, Jax just a happy message with a funky guitar riff that makes you wanna dance. They also experiment. Narcotic Nation Doozers, Jax Indie kids love bands that experiment. The Castawayz Fuel, Jax (425-3835) “I’m a lot less successful at following through with experimental tendencies than with the pop Dial 9 Fionn Maccool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499) ones. I tend to look at the experimental notions as a Debra Rider Island Girl, Jax way to get to the pop.” Joining Casper and the Cookies at TSI, fresh Scholar’s Word Seawalk Hotel, Jax Beach twee the night from their tour in the UK, is Jacksonville’s own buzz child, Black Kids. This show will be a thanksgiving Deuces Wild Latitudes, Jax Beach (247-6606) of sorts, as Casper’s Joe Rowe is somewhat Strings of Fire Jimadores, Jax (739-5828) responsible for leaking the buzz at the Athens PopFest that ultimately led to Black Kids’ big break. Mike Sweet & Friends Mi Casa Café, St. “We feel indirectly responsible because we Augustine (824-9317) before christmas played with them at TSI a year ago and someone in The Hopeless Landshark Café, Atlantic Beach the band hyped Black Kids to the guys at AthFest, (246-6024) and it turned out to be one of the most important interview with Casper and the Cookies shows of their lives. So far.” Second Theif, The Sophomore Attempt, Murray Casper and the Cookies are excited to be Hill Theatre, Jax (388-7807) by jon bosworth [email protected] returning to TSI, one of their favorite Florida clubs to play. In fact they’ve discovered more receptive Mattlock, Red Letter Bullet WHO: Casper and the Cookies places to play.” crowds in Florida over the last three years than Stu Weaver Harry’s, Jax Beach (247-8855) WHERE: TSI Discotheque Jason NeSmith and Kay Stanton have been ever before, that is what keeps bringing them back. WHEN: Friday, December 21st writing music together as Casper and the Cookies Although Athens is an outstanding home base for Hollowpoint Militia Ocean Club, Jax Beach (242- for several years, almost since NeSmith left fellow the popsmiths. 8884) “Things always get interactive when we play Athens indie pop sensations Of Montreal. But “There is never a week where there isn’t a Open Mic w/Larry Broussard St. Johns Pizza there, and it isn’t always by our instigation. We newcomers Jim Hicks and Joe Rowe have since show you wanna see in Athens. It’s a town full of always have fun at TSI, it’s one of our favorite Grill, Jax (287-9900) joined the Cookies. The group has two full length Peter Pans, really.” albums out, 2004’s Oh! and 2006’s The Optimist’s Hit up myspace.com/casperthecookies to Sky Harbor Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473) Club. hear the Christmas song, ‘Kiss Me Beneath the “It feels like we’ve been together a long time, Christmas Tree,’ or catch it live in the River City because we’ve been in the van together so much this weekend and get ready for an outrageous SUNDAY, DECEMBER 23 this year,” said NeSmith when EU caught up to him show. Although they aren’t saying what they have at home in Athens to discuss their upcoming show in store for the TSI show, it’s sure to be a good Those Guys Sunset Grill, St. Augustine (471- at TSI Discotheque on Friday, December 21st. time full of party bands and party people. To read 5555) But Hicks joined the band in March of 2006 more of the interview with Jason NeSmith, go to Dan Shepherd Harpoon Louie’s, Jax (389-5631) and Joe Rowe joined a month and a half later. eujacksonville.com.

Devereux Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496)

Isaac Byrd Jr. De Real Ting Café, Jax

Tarik Hassan Sahara Café, Jax

Douglas Campbell Mill Top Tavern, St. Augustine (829-2329)

Busted & Confused Jags Pre Game, Jax

David Milam Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)

Jimmy Parrish Carib Key, Jax Beach (270-8940)

Matanzas Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646)

Soulo Ragtime, Jax Beach (241-7877)

3rd Bass The Casbah, Jax (981-9966)

22 december 20-26, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper El Toro Loco Square One, Jax (306-9004) was enjoying good luck. As I scoped out the scene at ground level, trying to decipher where Brian’s bad Jan Crawford & Friends Cortesses, St. Augustine luck could come from, I saw Dino-Shirt Girl getting (825-6775) punched in the face by some shaved-headed bulldog. Cloud 9 Sundog Diner, Neptune Beach (241- I, along with a few other guys aghast at the sight, 8221) pulled Bulldog away from Dino-Shirt Girl and subdued him so that Security could take him away. Michael Funge Culhane’s Irish Pub, Atlantic The mob turned angry by this point, because Beach (249-9595) it’s never acceptable to hit a woman, no matter how bitchy she might be. Someone even jumped down from the balcony to join the vengeful fit of punishment SUNDAY-TUESDAY, DECEMBER 23-25 on Bulldog. It was surreal. The crowd pummeled him, feel the pain of brian’s curse threw him to the ground and held him there, once James Kalal Casa Monica Hotel, St. Augustine again assuming that Security would soon come to fights at the Freebird Dinosaur Jr. show take him away. With all of this misfortune looming, surely Brian was mixed up in it, but Brian was oblivi- MONDAY, DECEMBER 24 ous to it all. ey Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) by donald dusinberre [email protected] I helped Dino-Shirt Girl to her feet. She gave me This is a story that took place at the Dinosaur ing pleasantries. He headed downstairs, and when a look of vitriol and drunkenly lashed out at anyone Laughing Bones Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997- Jr. show at Freebird Live on December 1st, but it’s not Dinosaur took to the stage moments later, I immedi- who tried to help her. Preferring to bleed in solitude on 1955) about the music. It’s about a guy named Brian and his ately spotted Brian weaving his way to the front of the the floor, she held fast to her precious spot in front of uncanny knack for attracting trouble. stage. By the way, he’s easily 6’ 5” tall and furry. the stage. But where was Brian? Will Pearsall The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829- He’s not the kind of guy who goes looking for Heading directly up front, Brian probably pissed Security never came to get the pinned Bulldog 2329) trouble, and he doesn’t ask for it specifically, but some people off, even with his innocent-but-intoxi- because they took Brian instead. They must not have Lary Smith Harmonious Monks, Jax (886-3040) he’s got some sort of magnetic force that unwittingly cated appearance. I chuckled to myself as I saw him, noticed Bulldog being held down and beaten. Or draws it to him or someone with him. For years, we’ve but was quickly distracted by all the amps they were maybe Brian’s curse was more pervasive then the Goliath Casbah, Jax (981-9966) remarked on his Curse, recalling instances in which going to use to rupture my eardrums (which are still omnipresent violence that was consuming the crowd. Band of Destiny Square One, Jax (306-9004) one of us was involuntarily drawn into a bad, bad situ- ringing a bit). Either way, Brian was kicked out of yet another show. ation with Brian. Watching a show at Freebird Live is a fascinating Even though the incident took place directly in Nolan Neal Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach At first I didn’t believe the stories. I was told that exercise in people-watching, especially from upstairs. front of Lou Barlow, less than three feet away, the (246-4293) while at a Jesus Lizard concert, someone ripped Bri- Throughout the two opening acts, I was on the rail band seemed disinclined to do or say anything that an’s shirt off. When he was hanging out with friends of the balcony, watching a terribly drunk, obnoxious, would help the situation. You could feel the crowd Stu Weaver Harry’s, St. Augustine (824-7765) at a local pub, (EU Managing Editor) Jon Bosworth overweight man with a Black Flag T-shirt. He couldn’t searching for resolution, but none came from any- got punched by a skinhead in the bathroom. As the keep his hands off the mic stands or the monitors, where. It was disappointing and frustrating. Oh, well. skirmish moved outside, Brian tried to break up the tugging them back and forth, harassing the players. That’s life, and none more than Brian’s. TUESDAY, DECEMBER 25 fight and got stabbed in the back. Doctors later con- Black Flag Guy doesn’t figure into the rest of the story, Although Brian is a dangerous friend to have, Inspection 12 Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) firmed the stabbing, but the cops refused to believe but he was really pissing off the girl next to him, and after being with him, I almost always have a good him. No charges were filed. On a road trip to North she plays a very important part. story to tell. Astronautalis Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) Carolina for a weekend of camping, the car Brian was She, wearing a Dinosaur Jr T-shirt, was hold- Stu Weaver The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) in got a flat tire and almost wrecked. Watching Rever- ing fast to her spot at the front of the stage, enduring end Horton Heat at club 618 several years ago, Brian pushes and bumps from drunken morons. Suddenly, Chuck Nash Your Place, Jax Beach (221-9994) got thrown out under threat of arrest. As he tried to my wife tugged on my shirt and directed my attention give his friend the keys to the car so they could stay to a ruckus below. “Go help Brian!” she shouted, and at the show, he got into an argument with the cops. I tore downstairs, preparing to engage in a fight to WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 26 They beat him down and took him away. He was rid- defend my unlucky friend. When I reached the scene, ing with me on the way back from Built to Spill and nothing was happening and Brian was happily bob- Flashback Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829- Modest Mouse in Atlanta when we got pulled over. He bing his head at the front of the stage, standing right 6113) stumbled out of the car asking odd questions, and I next to a really pissy Dino-Shirted Girl. A Girl, A Gun, A Ghost Fuel, Jax (425-3835) got arrested. Then I believed in the curse. I stood behind him for a moment in bodyguard At the Dinosaur Jr. show, an inebriated Brian was mode. Perhaps his bad luck had gone away. Maybe Dave Massey My Place, Jax (737-5299) upstairs with my wife and I, catching up and exchang- he had finally exhausted the curse. But not everyone The Dirty Getcaughts Jack Rabbits, Jax (398- 7496)

Rowka Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)

Chelsea Saddler Tijuana Flats, Jax (737-9938)

Wes Cobb Band Square One, Jax (306-9004)

Busted & Confused Buffalo’s, Orange Park (778- 1101)

Jesse & Leaa Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775)

Jodies Fiasco Castillo de Mexico, Jax

Soulo Urban Flats, Ponte Vedra Beach (280-5515)

The Mike Miller Band St. Nick’s Lounge, Jax (396-3396)

Alexander Seier Paco’s, Jax Beach

El Toro Loco Aromas, Ponte Vedra (280-2525)

Chuck Nash Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune Beach (241-8221)

Pili Pili Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246- 4293)

Dave Massey My Place Bar & Grill, Jax (737- 5299)

eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 23 ter understanding of how artists create their works. upcoming concerts There are 16 learning stations in the Loft, giving kids school’s out! now what? plenty to do during their visit. For more information on MOCA and to see their hours and admission Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi Dec. 27, Florida prices, visit mocajacksonville.org. Theatre, 355-2787 JJ Grey & MOFRO Dec. 28-31, Freebird Live, 246- keeping kids busy during winter break Cummer Museum of Art and Gardens (829 Riv- 2473 erside Ave) As you enter the Cummer’s Art Con- nections area the wall reads: “If you’ve ever been Bonerama Dec 29, Mojos Blues Bar, 247-6636 by kelliE abraHamSoN [email protected] touched by art, here’s your chance to touch it back.” R. Kelly Dec. 30, Jacksonville Arena, 353-3309 They aren’t kidding. The award-winning educational It’s December and kids all over the First Coast worked and come the weekend most people would center has tons of hands-on activities that will keep Willie Nelson Jan. 10, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 have plenty to look forward to. Christmas is right rather veg out in front of the TV than explore the city. the entire family thoroughly entertained. From fun crafts to dance to high-tech learning stations, no Blast! Jan. 10, The Times-Union Center, 633-6110 around the corner and they have a couple weeks off We feel your pain. But because many of us will be of school, making this truly the most wonderful time taking a few days off to celebrate the holidays, why one will be bored in this wing of the museum. Learn Taj Mahal Jan. 11, The Florida Theatre, 355-2787 of the year. For many parents, though, keeping their not take an afternoon to see what our fair city has to more at cummer.org. Riders in the Sky Jan. 12, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 little ones occupied during these hectic weeks can offer. Here are just a few of your options: be a challenge. Well, have no fear. We’ve compiled a parks Perpetual Groove Jan. 12, Freebird Live, 246-2473 list of some cool things to do with your kids during museums (3620 Bedford Road) This excel- Zac Harmon/Ronnie Baker Brooks Jan 12, Mojos their winter break so that you don’t have to. Think Cuba Hunter Park of it as EU’s early Christmas gift to you. Be sure to MOSH (1025 Museum Circle) The Museum of Sci- lent specialty park features a 10,000 square-foot Blues Bar, 247-6636 pick up next week’s issue for ways to celebrate New ence and History is a fascinating place with plenty skateboard facility with a six-foot half pipe, a seven- Galatic Jan.13, Freebird Live, 246-2473 Years Eve with your little ones. for kids of all ages to do, see and explore. Younger foot quarter pipe, jump boxes, multiple rails, and a children will love playing with all of the toys in “Kid- bank ramp with a partial pyramid. The Machine Performs Pink Floyd Jan. 16, Freebird holiday events space,” the museum’s indoor playground and older Live During this crazy time of year it’s hard to set kids will get a kick out of seeing the cool side of Kids Kampus (1410 Gator Boulevard) The ten-acre Kathy Griffin Jan. 17, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 aside the time to really take everything in and enjoy science at the JEA Science Theater and Aqua Expo. park that has plenty for kids to see, do, learn about the joy and beauty of the season. Plan to spend Current exhibits include “Atlantic Tails- Whales, Dol- and explore. You can check out bicycles and helmets Roy Clark and Junior Brown Jan.18, Florida Theatre, some time getting into the holiday spirit with fun area phins & Manatees of North East Florida,” “Veterans free of charge and let your kids ride on miniature 355-2787 events. See our Holiday Event Guide on page 18 to Remember the War,” and “Trains!,” a look at North- Jacksonville roads or turn them loose on sand boxes find outstanding family-oriented events that are spe- east Florida’s railroading history. Head to themosh. and play grounds. Enter the Haggis, Jan.18 , Cafe Eleven, 469-9311 cific to the season. Some events to look for include org for more information. Mojo Warriors (Ex Karl Denson/Tishamingo) Jan. First Coast Winter Lights in Green Cove Springs, Ringhaver Park (5198 118th Street) Ringhaver is a 18, Freebird Live Winter Wonderland in St. Augustine, or A Christmas MOCA (333 North Laura Street) MOCA’s ArtExplo- mom’s dream. In addition to plenty of places to play Carole at the Alhambra Dinner Theatre. rium Loft is a huge, colorful space that takes up soccer, softball and tennis, it also has paved trails, The Unity Music Festival featuring Rabbit In The most of the building’s fifth floor. Here, children of all a wonderful boardwalk along the Ortega River and Moon, Bad Boy Bill, George Acosta, Mike B., Ying areas of interest ages can learn about modern and contemporary art exceptionally cool playground equipment. Yang Twins, Trina, Lil Webbie, Lil Boosie, Young The average family is over-scheduled and over- and try their hands at different mediums to get a bet- Cash, Bigga Rankins & more Jan 19, Metropolitan Tree Hill Nature Center (7152 Lone Star Road) Tree Park, Info: 1-888-UNITY21 Hill Nature Center is a little patch of heaven in the heart of Arlington. The 50-acre site boasts a natural Dancing With The Stars - The Tour Jan 22, history museum, nature trails, a 250 seat amphithe- Jacksonville Arena, 353-3309 ater and gardens filled with plant and wildlife. Cherryholmes Jan. 26, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 other places to play Ring of Fire - The Music of Johnny Cash Jan. 28, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Tunnelz ‘n Tumblez (5285 Shad Road or 2483 US Tim Reynolds Jan. 31, Freebird Live, 246-2473 Highway 1, St. Augustine) This brand new children’s center boasts a massive multi-level play structure, Sister Hazel Feb. 1, Freebird Live, 246-2473 black light mini-golf, and laser tag. Learn more at Classic Albums Live - Led Zeppelin IV Feb. 5, tunnelzntumblez.com. Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Pump It Up (11840 Beach Boulevard) Pump It Donna The Buffalo Feb. 9, Freebird Live, 246-2473 Up takes giant inflatables out of backyards and fairgrounds and puts them in a clean, inviting, cli- Feb.14, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Trisha Yearwood mate-controlled environment. Kids are free to jump, bounce, slide and climb along with their peers while The B-52’s Feb. 15, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 parents either relax and look on or join the fun. For more information on Pump It Up, visit the company’s Chris Duarte Feb 15, Mojos Blues Bar, 247-6636 website at pumpitupparty.com. Van Halen Feb 16, Jacksonville Arena, 353-3309 Adventure Landing (1944 Beach Boulevard or 4825 Lalah Hathaway Feb.17, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Blanding Boulevard) Adventure Landing is still a premium spot for kids of all ages to unwind. Both The 15th Annual Great Guitar Gathering Feb.22, locations have go-karts, arcade games, laser tag and Florida Theatre, 355-2787 more. Go to adventurelanding.com for more details. Leon Russell Feb. 22, Freebird Live, 246-2473 Hands-On Children’s Museum (8580 Beach Boule- Steep Canyon Rangers Feb 22, Mojos Blues Bar, vard) The goal of the Hands-On Children’s Museum 247-6636 is to educate children about the world around them Willy Porter Feb. 23, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311 by letting them touch, observe and imagine. Here, kids can try on a fire fighter’s helmet and boots or Michael Bublé Feb. 24, Jacksonville Arena, 353- see what it’s like to work in a grocery store. With all 3309 the toys, dress up clothes, games and puppets, the little guys never realize that they are actually learn- Bayside, Straylight Run Feb. 24, Freebird Live, 246- ing about what real life “grown up” life is like- well, 2473 the fun parts of it anyway! Visit handsonchildrens- museumjax.com for more information.

24 december 20-26, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper been constructed with recycled and reused materials, most of them entirely. His primary material is wood, art events though he has a few sculptures made from slate tile scraps. The giant “eggs,” with their surface of epoxy new this week resin, are the only works on display that aren’t com- pletely reused, but their intrigue easily makes up for it. North Beaches Art Walk, Every third Thursday of each The eggs serve as a magnetic force away from month, 5 pm – 9 pm, Atlantic/Neptune Beach area so many slivers and slices of wood on the Third Floor. (904) 249-2222 or [email protected] One is immediately drawn to their vibrant color and ongoing smooth texture, and most people cannot resist touch- ing them (but try your hardest anyway). Melissa R. Wilson, 8th Street Art Gallery, 39 East 8th Street, Although the eggs definitely drew my eye (but Jacksonville, (904) 993-7258 or [email protected] not my hands), all the wood structures drew my at- tention. When I realized the wooden, recyclable con- Holiday Show, Through December 22, Monday – Friday, 10 nection between each of the exhibits, I began to apply am - 6 pm, Saturday, 10 am – 4 pm the idea more deliberately to each artist’s work, soon Fogle Fine Art & Accessories, 3312 Beach Boulevard, fogle- developing a new appreciation for wood as an artistic fineart.com or [email protected] medium. Jay Shoots Now, Through December 27, PIE Studio, 1827 Ohira, as with fellow exhibiting artist Duncan North Pearl Street, Jacksonville, (904) 247-8337 or piestu- Johnson, demonstrates a level of craftsmanship that dio.net Minoru Ohira, Fruit in Desert, 1997 is unusual in the art world. Aside from sculpting a form out of a block of wood or stretching a canvas Flowers In Winter, Featuring Gail Taylor and Frank Mat- over a wooden frame, it is rare to find carpentry skills thews, On display until December 29, Bogda, 1253 McDuff presented front and center, and it is even rarer to find Avenue South, Riverside, (904) 387-0852 or Shopbogda@ essence and materials more than one artist doing it in a single place. But gmail.com Ohira has a great knowledge of form and the skeletal December Show featuring Gail Taylor and Frank Mat- structures they require to stand. You can see the thews, Through December 31 armatures inside and outside most of his works, illu- Bogda, 1253 McDuff Avenue South, (904) 387-0852 works by Minoru Ohira minating both his concepts and his technical skill. It’s quite satisfying to see an artist succeed so precisely On Paper: Archer Prewitt, Through December 31, The with his ideas. Gallery at Screen Arts, 228 West King Street, St. Augustine, by donald dusinberre [email protected] Along with the other exhibits on display right (904) 829-2838 or screenartsflorida.com Finally. A review of an exhibit at MOCA Jackson- istics) that the curator, George Kinghorn, specifically now, Minoru Ohira’s Essence and Materials will be on Slice of Life, Through January 6 ville. They’ve only been up since mid-September. I’ve chose artists whose work is made largely from natural display through January 6, 2008. In fact, why don’t you take an opportunity over the Christmas break to Opening Reception, December 2, 2 pm – 5 pm, St Augus- got no excuse for neglecting the fascinating exhibits materials, mostly wood. Grouping works together by tine Art Association, (904) 824-2310 or staaa.org currently on display, so let’s just hope that this review such an angle provides us a perspective that would check out all the exhibits at MOCA. To find out more makes up for it in time for the slackers to see them for normally have not existed. about their exhibits and events, visit mocajacksonville. Valuistics: A printed installation by James Greene, themselves. Each sculpture by Ohira found in MOCA Jax has org. Through January 6 Minoru Ohira is a sculptor who creates works MOCA Jacksonville, 333 North Laura Street, Downtown, that are large and commanding, owning the space (904) 366-6911 x210 or mocajacksonville.org they occupy. Those masculine traits aside, the forms he presents are more than a bit sensual, and it soon Minoru Ohira Sculpture Exhibit, Through January 6 MOCA Jacksonville, 333 North Laura Street, Downtown, becomes apparent to the viewer that they far less (904) 366-6911 x210 or mocajacksonville.org domineering and more suggestive than at first sight. Before moving to California, Minoru Ohira stud- Coherent Structures, Recent Silverpoint Paintings by Carol ied in Japan and Mexico, observing traits, traditional Prusa, Through January 6 forms and techniques of the art in those places. MOCA Jacksonville, 333 North Laura Street, Downtown, Always inspired by nature, Ohira enjoyed creating (904) 366-6911 x210 or mocajacksonville.org clean organic shapes, like those of seeds, pods and nuts. He enjoys considering and highlighting both the Sculptures by Duncan Johnson, Through January 6 outside and inside of objects. Whereas a simple nut MOCA Jacksonville, 333 North Laura Street, Downtown, (904) 366-6911 x210 or mocajacksonville.org or seed protects its complex genetic material within, Ohira often deliberately creates access to the inside Raddle Cross & Dowsing, Installations by Martha Whitting- of his work, allowing light to filter through the hol- ton, Through January 6 low structure. It can make the viewer feel as if he’s MOCA Jacksonville, 333 North Laura Street, Downtown, privvy to some knowledge that wasn’t intended to be (904) 366-6911 x210 or mocajacksonville.org revealed, and I think that’s exactly what Ohira wants. It is quite apparent from looking at all of MOCA’s Winter Selections: Zachary Freeman and Tonya Lee, current exhibitions (except for James Greene’s Valu- Through January 11 J. Johnson Gallery, 177 4th Avenue North, Jacksonville Beach, 904-435-3200 or jjohnsongallery.com

Apron Chronicles: A Patchwork of American Recollec- tions, Through January 16, Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra Beach, 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra Beach, (904) 280- 0614

Abbas Kiarostami: Photographs and Film, Through Janu- ary 18 Southeast Museum of Photography, 1200 International Speedway Boulevard, Daytona Beach, smponline.org

Blurring The Lines: Heather Blanton and Ryan Ketterman, Through January 30 The Haskell Gallery at JIA, jiaarts.org/index.htm

Abstraction and Transition: Charley Harris, Through Janu- ary 31, Art Center Gallery, 31 West Adams Street, Down- town, blogfromthecenter.blogspot.com

eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 25

EU: I’ve heard that the show might not be for kids, that there’s some language in it… cultural events KSK: The beauty of the show is that it speaks to several generations. There are a few words that are a little…spicier than others…but they’re few and DECEMBER far between. Most of the “adult” type jokes, are 20 Travel To Italy-Opera Performed By Bella Voce Cabaret phrased in a clever way and oftentimes go over the Cultural Center, Ponte Vedra heads of the children. It never crosses the line of vulgar or obscene, ever. Actually kids love the show. 20 8th Annual Handcrafted Ornament Show First Street Gallery, Jax Beach EU: The show is very dynamic with some ad-lib- 20 North Beaches Art Walk Various Venues, Jax Beach bing. Is it different every night? KSK: It is different every night. As an element of 20 Poetry & Music Midnight Expresso Café, Jax surprise…[we have] the volunteer spellers from the 20 Toga Party Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, Jax audience. They come on stage and they get their own words [to spell] and get their crack at the mi- 20 Biggie Tea’s Christmas Party & Steve Forster Art Show crophone. Because of that the show changes every Modis Building, Jax night…Sometimes they surprise us and we really 20- 30 Art from the Ashes: In Stabiano, Exploring the Ancient have to try and stump them, because the show Seaside Villas of the Roman Elite Cummer Museum, Jax does have a plan…We know who the winner is…It 20- 30 The Gift of the Magi The Amphitheatre, St. Augustine ups the stakes for the audience to have someone from their midst up there. 20- 31 Winter Selections Exhibition J. Johnson Gallery, Jax Beach EU: What message would you give to potential 20- 31 Spanish Pathways Museum of History, Amelia Island audience members? KSK: Come prepared to laugh. Definitely come pre- 20- 31 Hugh Holborn-Spirit Celebration Holborn Gallery, St. pared to remember what it was like to be an adoles- Augustine cent and have some fun! 20- 31 Will Dickey-Images of Florida’s First Coast First The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee Street Gallery, Jax Beach will be performed at the Times-Union Center’s Mo- Museum, Jax ran Theater Friday, December 21st through Sunday, December 23rd. Tickets range in price from $26.00 20-JAN. 5 Expressions of Italy Village Gallery, Orange Park broadway brings - $61.00, plus applicable service charge. Discounts 20-JAN. 6 Sculptor: Minoru Ohira Exhibit MOCA, Jax are available for groups of 15 or more by calling (904) 632-3228. This program is recommended for 20-JAN. 6 Slice of Life Show St. Augustine Art Association, ages 12 and older. St. Augustine 20-JAN. 12 First Annual Artist Member Holiday Exhibition the l-a-u-g-h-s Cultural Center, Ponte Vedra 20-JAN. 12 The Works of Doris Wiseman, Charles Bear & th Myra Jean Schick Reddi Arts, Jax The 25 Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee 20-JAN. 20 The Fantasticks Limelight Theatre, St. Augustine

20-JAN. 16 Apron Chronicles: A Patchwork of American by Erin thursby [email protected] Recollections Cultural Center, Ponte Vedra The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee EU: You have the part of Mitch Mahoney, that’s 20-JAN. 30 “Blurring the Lines” Photography by Heather isn’t a local spelling bee. It’s actually a musical the “Official Comfort Counselor.” Can you tell me Blanton & Ryan Ketterman JIA, Jax about a spelling bee. Says cast member Kevin a little about the part? Smith Kirkwood, “The show is so funny, that people 20-JAN. 31 Featured Artist: Charley Harris The Art Center, Kevin Smith Kirkwood: The comfort counselor don’t expect it to have as much heart as it has.” Jax is the guy who gives the contestants a hug and a It’s about growing up, competing, winning and juice box as they are eliminated from the Spelling 20-FEB. 3 In Stabiano: Exploring Ancient Seaside Villas of the losing. Adults actually play the adolescents, singing Bee. That’s what they consider comfort. He’s a Roman Elite Cummer Museum, Jax and spelling as they go. In many ways the show young guy in his 20s; he’s from the other side of 20-FEB. 28 Oh Say Can You See: American Art Cummer is an unabashed celebration of nerdiness and that the tracks than the spellers. He comes to the Bee Museum, Jax awkward time between adulthood and childhood. with a bit of a chip on his shoulder and he’s doing The show takes about as much time as a typical some community service…Throughout the course 21 Benefit Concert-Jax Symphony UNF Fine Arts Center, Jax action movie, so there’s no intermission. of the Bee he learns things about himself…He’s got 22 Festival of Trees Children’s Story Time Main Library, Jax The play has somewhat humble beginnings, [that]…chip on his shoulder but he’s also got a lot based on C-R-E-P-U-S-C-U-L-E, an original play by of humanity. 22 Messiah Sing-Along Hendricks Baptist Church, Jax The Farm improv group in New York City. Spelling 23 The Concert Choir Jax Children’s Chorus & First Coast Bee had its world premiere production in July 2004 Ringers Lakewood Presbyterian, Jax at Barrington Stage Company, Sheffield, MA. It of- ficially opened Off-Broadway on February 7, 2005 26 Gator Bowl Meet & Greet Adventure Landing, Jax Beach at Second Stage Theatre, where it ran from January 28 Gator Bowl Meet & Greet Adventure Landing, Jax Beach 11 through March 20, 2005. The show then moved to Broadway’s Circle in the Square Theatre (where it 28-JAN. 30 Gil Mayers In Retrospect Karpeles Manuscript continues its run), with previews beginning on April Museum, Jax 15, 2005 and an official opening on May 2, 2005. It 28-FEB. 10 “Breaking Up is Hard To Do” The Alhambra was so popular on Broadway that there are now Dinner Theatre, Jax three traveling shows. Opening night, local WJXT news anchor Bruce 29 Festival of Trees Children’s Story Time Main Library, Jax Hamilton will be participating in the action on stage. 31 New Years Eve Party w/Free admission Pump It Up, Jax They ask for four volunteers from the audience, who 31 Noon Years Eve Celebration Adventure Landing, Jax enter into the bee as well. The actors must think on Beach their feet and try to stump the audience contestants. EU asked cast member Kevin Smith Kirkwood 4 a few questions about the show, and his part in it.

26 december 20-26, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper sure-fire antidote for holiday treacle

Limelight’s The Santaland Diaries by alun montgomery

No doubt about it: t’is the season for seasonal syrup and saccharine—and area stages are hardly immune to them. If you’re ready for a break from the parade of schmaltz this year, I have the perfect antidote for you: The San- taland Diaries. Jacksonville writer-direc- tor-actor Ian Mairs recently reprised his role as Crumpet the department store elf at Limelight an international message on Theater in St. Augustine, and if audience response and box office are any indicators, a lot of folks were ready for a new take on the a local stage holiday experience. The one-man show chronicles the thinly veiled au- Mountain of Peace tobiographical experiences of writer David Sedaris, who spent a portion of his early lean years by Erin thursby [email protected] in New York as one of Santa’s What: Mountain of Peace “It really builds bridges. I’ve watched these helpers at Macy’s. Sedaris’ 1992 When: December 21st & 22nd @ 7:30 pm people in my group and people form friendships essay was adapted for the stage Where: 5 Points Theatre and bonds. At one point I had Russian, Serbian, by playwright Joe Mantello, and Croatian and Bosnian children in one group…Those the rest as they say is, well, liv- Peace on earth and goodwill to all should be a parents, who had relocated to Jacksonville, had been ing history at the very least. The year ‘round focus, but it’s the holiday season that re- in…wars against each of those nations and had a lot show has gone on to become a ally helps us see the value in it. Here in Jacksonville, of hostility…But when the children came together in rapidly metastasizing cult favorite there are many organizations that do just that, all the chorus, they formed friendships that seemed to and can usually be found playing year ‘round. break that down.” somewhere over the holidays at a One such organization is the International The show itself concerns five families, all of theater near you. Peace Performers, a group dedicated to finding the whom have lost someone to war. They come to- Budding writer David/ characters from every age, gender, ethnicity, sex- way to peace “in every generation, in every nation.” gether to champion the cause of peace, illustrated in Crumpet’s initial exuberance at coming to New ual preference, and socioeconomic level. They are Frances Key founded the organization in 1999 after soaring choruses of original music. York to live the dream quickly fades in the face steeped in self-absorption or have no self-aware- she came back to Jacksonville from Fort Dix, after When Mountain of Peace was first introduced of harsh reality. And as day-job opportunities ness at all. They are hopelessly bland or bristling working with Kosovo refugees. to the community on Peace Awareness Week on the dwindle and the winter chill sets in, a chance to with neurotic energy. They are heartbreakingly “I had worked up there for the summer and had UNF stage, it set the community to buzzing about work in a seemingly bright, warm, and cheerful fragile or astonishingly haughty. In short, they are this amazing experience using music to work with this quality, original musical with a great lesson. The environment materializes out of nowhere. But us, all of them—and that’s what makes this piece traumatized children,” says Key. version of Mountain of Peace that will be on the 5 what seems at first to be a promising opportunity so achingly funny. Once she got back to Jacksonville, she began Points stage will be slightly different, but will include begins to morph as well, beginning with the in- It seems it’s rare anymore to see a one- to get local refugee children and American children most of the songs from the other production, plus a terview process and continuing to evolve through person show in this area, rarer still to see one together to form the core of the International Peace few new songs. orientation, assimilation, and ultimate mortifica- done well. Mairs is a consummate performer Performers. Since the first production, they’ve released the tion. and storyteller; there are few in Northeast Florida The group now puts on an average of 10-12 original Mountain of Peace CD, with each song on Ah, the things we do for a buck: Crumpet who can hold an audience’s attention for an en- performances per year, mostly in Northeast Florida. the CD sponsored by a company or individual. Spon- relates the humiliation of working for clueless tire evening like he can. Having created a virtual She’s been looking for international peace on a lo- sorships are important to the organization, since fools, debasing oneself in childish garb, and troupe of memorable characters over the years, cal level, bringing together people from different they don’t make a profit. You can sponsor them for a enduring the endless abuse of adults and chil- he has again scored a coup not unlike his work countries that would have been hostile to each other corporate event or you can sponsor a production in dren alike while fighting a losing battle to keep in Laughing Wild back in the salad days of the at home, but have the opportunity to make peace the community. For more info on joining International Christmas spirit alive in a horde that is beset by Jacksonville Actors Theater, a company he had in Jacksonville, in America. She wants to continue Peace Performers, its history or sponsorship, go to Christmas rather than magically and cheerfully helped to create. All of the characters in Santaland to spread this message. She has her choice of per- peaceperformers.org. transported by it. come delightfully and indelibly to life. Enthusiastic formers these days, so she can put together nearly Mountain of Peace happens December 21st and But like Scrooge or the Grinch or even theatergoers can’t ask for a better present. any kind of concert. 22nd at 7:30 pm, but the lobby of the 5 Points The- George Bailey, our hero begins a journey that Although Limelight’s production has already “Rather than have a set group of children as atre opens at 6:30 pm. They’ll have holiday gift items starts to transform him; characters whom he closed for the 2007 season, Ian Mairs will be I did for many years, what I have now is sort of a for sale as a fund raiser. There will also be wine and once regarded with horror or outrage or conde- bringing the charming Crumpet to Jacksonville changing group. Different people at different times refreshments available. You can buy the Mountain scension begin to engender a slowly kindling audiences in the theatre at MOCA Jacksonville. doing different things. I just have a number of people of Peace CD or the soundtrack for the specific show affection in him. Trust me, you don’t want to miss this one. I can call on at any time to pull a group together to you’ll be seeing (they’ve switched a few songs out, Like a totally non-plussed innocent abroad, do a particular performance.” so the performance CD will be a little different than Crumpet weaves a faux-felt tapestry of misad- The Jacksonville Museum of Contemporary This performance has more than thirty people the original Mountain of Peace CD). The art of Gina ventures that are by turns hysterical and mind- Art (MOCA) presents their own production The in it, ranging from professional artists to regular Martinelli, Gordon Meggison (freehandstudios.com) numbing, horrifying and heartwarming, and often Santaland Diaries December 19-21. Please call folk and kids. Different ethnicities and cultural back- and Valerie Vescovi (vvescoviart.com) will be raffled bizarre beyond belief. The stories are peopled by 366-6911 for directions and ticket information grounds are represented. or auctioned at the show as well.

eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 27 the fantasticks Limelight Theatre Review

by dick kerekes [email protected]

St. Augustine’s Limelight Theater opened its Christmas and New Year offering last weekend with Tom Jones and Harvey Schmidt’s The Fantasticks. This charming musical is fantastic and will run through January 12th 2008 at the Joukowsky Foundation Center for the Performing Arts, at 11 Old Mission Ave. This show, which has the honor of being the longest running musical in the world, opened in l960 and played until 2002. There was a total of 17,163 performances. The original cost of the show was $16,500 and the investors made 10,000% return on their money. Today $16,000 would not even get the lights turned on in the theatre. The show did not open to good reviews and things looked bleak for even a short run but Bar- bra Streisand liked three of the songs and put them into her concerts and the show took off. In 2006 The Fantasticks reopened at the Snapple Theater Center and will probably now run another 40 years as it has become a New York tourist attraction. The plot reads like a fable. It is the story of two fathers who decide to match-make their chil- dren, Matt and Luisa. They hire a professional abductor to kidnap Luisa so that Matt can play the hero and rescue her. The scheme seems to work but the course of true love never runs smoothly, as you will learn when you see the show. This musical’s principal songs, ‘Try to Remember,’ ‘Soon It’s Gonna Rain,’ and ‘They Were You,’ became hits and are still popular. Director Beth Lambert and Musical Director Shelli Long have an outstanding cast for this revival. Don Runk is Bellomy, the girl’s father. Mr. Runk is well known to Limelight audiences for a number of performances from his one-man show Mark Twain. Besides having a good voice, he also has excellent comic timing and gets the most out of every gesture he makes. Patrick Waters plays Huckabee with a sort of Forest Gump Southern accent. It was refreshing to see a new spin on this part. Mr. Waters and Mr. Runk make the perfect duo. Alex Nordin, as Matt, looks like he should be modeling for a gentlemen’s fashion magazine. Tall and handsome with sandy hair, he is picture perfect for the role. He is at his best when he sings solos. In his duets with Luisa, her robust voice tended to overpower him. With his talents and looks, Mr. Nordin will be much in demand and will do as much theater as he has time for as a student at Flagler College. Playing Luisa is Penny Endicott, a sophomore at Flo Arts in Palatka who is majoring in Musical Theater. She started singing at age four and she has had excellent vocal training. This part calls for her to be a giddy 16-year old at the start and become more tart and mature as she experiences the slings and arrows of romance. She makes the transition smoothly. Have you ever heard of the expression that an actor owns a role? Yul Brynner in The King and I and Lee J. Cobb as Willie Loman in Death of a Salesman are two famous examples of actors “own- ing a role.” Leonard Alterman owns the role of Henry, the old Shakespearean actor who assists with the abduction of Luisa. Alterman has perfected the mannerisms and gestures to milk this role for maximum humor. One of my favorite roles is Mortimer, Henry’s sidekick. I did this role in two productions, but I have to say, Alex Nunchuck’s performance was far better than mine. He was funnier and I think he had a better costume. The pivotal role, in my opinion, is El Gallo. He narrates the show, stages the abduction and sings some great numbers, including the signature song ‘Try to Remember.’ One of the most sought after musical theater performers in the North Florida area is Juan Unzueta and he is wonderful as El Gallo. He sings the music with such a rich and clear voice and he is always in command. Unzueta is the tallest and most sinister El Gallo I have ever seen, and he darn sure was the most fun to watch (fake moustache and all). Imposing a presence in every seen is The Mute, who is the on-stage prop master, providing things the actors need and doing it in complete silence. Depending on the night you attend you will either see Chris Martin or Caiti Wiggins performing this task with precision. The Fantasticks is like an old pair of shoes. They are comfortable and reliable, so why change them? Well, even old shoes need a bit of a shine now and then and Director Beth Lambert has done some small and subtle things that made this show refreshing and new, even to me. Working with Technical Director Scott Ashley, Lambert has put in exciting lighting. You will see spots on one side for the moon and the other for the sun. Across the back of the stage are three bars of lights that display many different colors, depending on the mood. Using patterns in the spotlights, the actors often walk in the shadows of what appears to be leaves in a forest. In addition, Ms. Lambert has changed the pronunciation of one word (yes, ONE word) and therein created a very humorous play on words. I am itching to tell you what it is, but that would spoil it for you. I do have two suggestions: First, have El Gallo ride in on a hobby horse, not a push broom, after all it was a first-class abduction. Second, please dirty up and tear up the shirt Matt wears in Act II, after returning from his trip wherein he was beaten and tortured in various ways, his shirt would be a little dirty. After all these years The Fantasticks remains captivating and truly ageless. Call (904) 825- 1164 for information reservations. Don’t miss this classic.

28 december 20-26, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper heralds the impending visit of three ghosts: those of Christmases Past, Present, and Yet to Come (also played by Uibel). cultural events (continued) The spirits’ visits offer a reminder of the youth- ful love and optimism that once guided Scrooge’s path and the greed that led him astray, as well as january a foreboding view of the dire consequences of its 2 First Wednesday Art Walk Various Venues Downtown, Jax unhalted momentum. Brought face to face with the 3 The Art of Spoken Word Ritz Theatre, Jax impact of his life on those around him and the empty legacy that awaits, a remorseful Ebenezer is trans- 3-5 New Year’s Bluegrass Festival Jekyll Island Convention formed into a kind and generous spirit, resolving to Center, Jekyll Island dedicate his efforts and resources to acts of kind- 4 First Friday Art Walk Various Venues, St. Augustine ness and charity. The staging is for the most part balanced and 4 Bella Voce Cabaret Friday Musicale, Jax uncluttered, and the set pieces very effectively de- 4 Mad Cowford Comedy 9th & Main, Jax signed to be fluidly converted for creating multiple settings. I suspect the set itself may be a veteran 4 Winter Selections J. Johnson Gallery, Jax Beach of Christmases Past, judging by the often painted 4 Art Rageous First Friday Various Venues, Fernandina rather than constructed architectural elements. But it is nonetheless effective; and if the company has 4-30 Turkish Maps Exhibit Karpeles Manuscript Museum, sentimentally chosen to honor a battle-tested set, I’m Jax perfectly fine with that. We should all receive such 4-31 Jay Shoots Now-Photographs & Sculpture PIE Studio, respectful handling. Jax There were initial moments in the show when the performers were a half-beat or so behind the 5 Orchids 101 Jax Zoo & Gardens, Jax recorded accompaniment and it sounded as if they 5 Auditions: Ladies of the Alamo 2pm ABET, Atlantic Beach might not have been able to hear it and each other 6 Practice World Peace Memorial Park, Jax to fullest advantage. The miking of solo voices was a calculated also inconsistent at times. Both problems were mi- 6 R. Carlos Nakai & Udi Bar-David St. Paul’s By The Sea, nor and seem easy enough to fix. Jax Beach There were a number of instances when actors 8 Shanghai Acrobats FCCJ Wilson Center for the Arts, Jax directly addressed the members of the audience, ei- ther for a little call-and-response action or to interact 10-FEB. 13 Duval County Art Teachers Exhibit JU Brest with the front row. I’m not a real fan of the practice Museum, Jax crowd-pleaser of “breaking the fourth wall,” but I have to admit that 10-APRIL 30 Jazz History Course Taught By Landon Walker bringing children down front up on the stage made First Coast Community Music School, Jax for several sweet moments. Alhambra’s lively Christmas Carole The production is blessed to have so many 11-26 “Dearly Departed” Theatre Jax, Jax strong players. Without exception, everyone with a 11-FEB. 2 “Come Blow Your Horn” Orange Park Community moment of his or her own takes it and runs with it. Theatre, Orange Park by alun montgomery Alhamba veteran Tony Triano reprises his role as the As Christmas rolls around each year, the com- chetype, he embodies the evils and attitudes of 19th- heartless Scrooge in a performance that has more 12 Exotic Plant Species Pull Ft. Clinch State Park, Fernandina munity’s arts groups once more dust off and trot out century capitalists, to whom the sufferings and pleas than its share of powerful and tender moments. Xan- 12-FEB. 16 Drama Workshop For Children ABET, Atlantic their seasonal extravaganzas for area audiences. The of the less fortunate are little more than the whines der Chauncey’s Nephew Fred is especially enjoyable Beach Alhambra Dinner Theatre’s A Christmas Carole is of sniveling ingrates. His mantra-like rejoinder as the play’s narrative thread. His opening solo and 15 Doctor Doolittle-Theatreworks Florida Theatre, Jax certainly no exception; the seasonal crowd-pleaser “Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?” ongoing commentary help develop and connect the can be counted on to bring in throngs of faithful pa- expresses the depth and breadth of his charitable story’s interlocking plot lines and characters to great 18 Ileana Fernandez, Piano-Latin American Music Friday trons throughout the holiday season. inclinations. He is equally insensitive to the pleas of effect. And Paul Betz turns in a restrained perfor- Musicale, Jax The production is a stage adaptation of Charles charity solicitors and the plight of his faithful clerk mance as Bob Cratchit that effectively underscores 18-FEB. 2 “The Ride Down Mount Morgan” ABET, Atlantic Dickens’ 19th-century morality tale about miserly Bob Cratchit, who with his struggling family is but the character’s nobility and charity in the midst of Beach misanthrope Ebenezer Scrooge, whose perceptions one payday away from the poorhouse himself. Very suffering. Alhambra veterans Henry Brewster and of the important things in life get shaken about like a much a Simon Legree grotesque to us today, though Earlye Rhodes are also very effective in an assort- 19 Peter Max Special Exhibit & Sale R. Roberts Gallery, Jax child’s snow globe. Crisply and brightly staged and in its time was not so uncommon a sentiment. ment of supporting roles. 23 House of Life JU Terry Concert Hall, Jax scored, it is played to delight and to tug at the heart- As he beds down for a long winter’s nap In a production full of strong voices and perfor- strings of kids of all ages. Judging by the audience (Christmas Eve, to be precise), he is visited by the mances, Michelle Barry’s Lizzie stands out as espe- 24 In Remembrance of the Dream Performing Arts Center, response, it was very successful in its objective. spirit of his departed friend and business partner, Ja- cially memorable. Her solo turn in the funeral scene, Jax For most people who weren’t raised by wolves, cob Marley (energetically interpreted by Peter Uibel), ‘He Isn’t Gonna Need It,’ is a real showstopper: 25 Performances by Outstanding Young Pianists Friday the story is a familiar one: curmudgeon Scrooge, the laden with chains and cashboxes, which he bears as commanding, hilarious, balanced, and absolutely Musicale, Jax original proto-Grinch, has no time for Christmas or atonement for the sins of his life. Marley warns his riveting. th for anyone else who does. A perfect Dickensian ar- friend to change his ways before it’s too late, and he I wish I could gush as effusively about the direction 25 Mad Cowford Comedy 9 & Main, Jax as for the performances. Many bits are played to 25-APRIL 6 North Florida Contemporary Collectors MOCA, the hilt for laughs, testimony to the adage that if a Jax little bit must be good, a whole lot must be a whole lot better. To their credit, the actors commit to the 26 Clay County All County Elementary Chorus Thrasher direction and manage to make the moments their Horne Center, Orange Park own, successfully escaping mawkishness in many 26 Meet Artist Peter Max 6-9pm R. Roberts Gallery, Jax instances. 26 Faculty Chamber Music JU Terry Concert Hall, Jax In all fairness, it must be challenging to take a perennial favorite, one that has run every year for the 26-27 Tribute To Arthur Miller Staged Reading of “After The past 25, and find a way to keep it fresh and vibrant. Fall” St. Johns Cultural Center, St. Augustine I can’t say that shameless, cartoonish muggery is 27 Meet Artist Peter Max Noon-3pm R. Roberts Gallery, Jax what first pops into my mind as the way to go about it. But Booth and company seem to have hit on a formula that puts fannies in the seats and keeps FEBRUARY them there. Not one to waste caviar on the general, he knows what his audiences like and he gives it to 1 Men of the Deeps-North America’s Only Coal Miners Chorus them in spades. Thrasher Horne Center, Orange Park To my mind, several judicious forkfuls would 1-16 “Julius X” Players by the Sea, Jax Beach have been plenty.

eujacksonville.com | december 20-26, 2007 29 THE JOCK

by tom weppel

One of the critical issues of the holiday season is the giving of gifts. Clearly, this is a nationwide trend. I can’t imagine one speck of American culture that excludes themselves from this materialistic tradi- tion, myself included. I love it. I love to shop. I love earning a quick buck and then spending it. And I love to hand pick gifts especially for a person that draws out some little nook or cranny of their personality via torn wrapping paper and loose ribbon. Jacksonville is filled with a thousand places to find such oddities. I go to thrift stores, scour the knick-knacks, potpourri and ornaments, rummage through pet stores and dress stores all for that perfect gift. There isn’t one place I won’t go, but I do have a particular fondness for all things local. There is a flavor that comes with local shops that one can’t find elsewhere. I take a lot of pride in what local Jack- Random thoughts from a cluttered mind COLLEGE FOOTBALL sonville retail has to offer. It makes this town in my eyes. And I do love a tasty treat. As you all know, the Bowl season has cranked A few weeks ago, buried deep inside Talbots at the Town Center, a young woman about my age com- JAGUARS up. To me, the entire Bowl season has become a plimented my mother’s sunglasses. Last week, we saw a Jaguars squad that played complete joke. There are way too many games, with “They’re from Edge City!” I said, with uber enthusiasm. I was received with a blank stare. a dominating game in Pittsburgh, for all intents. They a lot of them featuring teams with records barely “You know, in Five Points.” Still nothing. The girl had never even heard of Five Points. I about fainted. did a great job handling the Steelers on both the offen- above .500. The names of the games are ridiculous, But, as it turns out, there are people out there who don’t know about our little gems of Jacksonville. In my sive and defensive lines, and their offense is executing amounting to nothing more than sponsorship names mind, what would Jacksonville provide without such spices? Strip malls, a lot of traffic, and perhaps some and showing success, scoring 24 points or more in reddish hues that give us a bad name? of companies. Because of the volatility of head coach- However, the other day as I was talking with my old roommate from California, she mentioned a trip their last eight games. They are an exciting team to ing changes, there will now be as many as EIGHT to Amoeba music store and it hit me. I could not think of one single independent record store in town. watch play and they are playing their best football at teams playing their games with out the same head Having worked (briefly) at Vinyl Fever in Tallahassee, I am personally very drawn to their quirky, somewhat the right time, as we head closer to the year end play- coach they had during the season. elitist atmosphere. It makes the experience of buying music more authentic, especially in this era of down- offs. And the only game that carries any meaning loads and MySpace. This weekend, the Jags will host the Oakland whatsoever is the final game between LSU and Ohio Jacksonville seems to have lost many of its local music stores. Sure, there are the Barnes and Raiders. While this is a franchise that carries great State. Otherwise, the other 31 games carry no weight Nobles and the Borders. But where can I go to find those slightly obscure CDs that aren’t sold in corporate tradition from their personality and their performances whatsoever, including the Gator Bowl, played here powerhouses who are only after the high price tag? And I do not think I should have to whip out a phone in the past, right now they aren’t a very good team locally. In addition, almost every city could care less book to find a music store. That kind of information should be readily available at the front of my brain. whatsoever. At 4-10, the Raiders simply don’t have who is playing in the bowl game in their city. Serious- My spirit has crushed. What is the world coming to? And why did Jacksonville follow suit? It’s ter- what it takes to make things work on the field. They ly! Does anybody in Hawaii care about East Carolina? rible. There is no good excuse. Sure, the industry is changing. If anyone knows that, it’s me. I’ve seen the have squeaked out some interesting wins every so of- Does anybody in Toronto care about Ball State? And, I inside; I’ve seen the outside. It’s sort of sick and twisted, the music industry. But, it gives us music. Why ten, and they did give the Colts a run for their money would bet that most people here in Jacksonville aren’t have we turned our backs? last weekend before eventually losing. too thrilled about Texas Tech and Virginia. I have no good answer for this question. Must I succumb to Amazon purchases? Or iTunes, which Oakland has serious QB issues. JaMarcus Rus- Let’s face it. The College football Bowl games requires me to burn a CD and make my own CD art? Where did all the records go? In fact, my boyfriend sell has been held back, simply because of his raw- aren’t even CLOSE to what they used to be, and they has an old record player back in Tallahassee that I have been begging him to bring home. But where would ness in being able to play. Josh McCown and Daunte never, ever will be again, unless the NCAA comes up I find any records? I find this blank space in my brain as a devastating, harsh reality. Culpepper aren’t very good. Their defense has given with a decent playoff system, utilizing the games as California, for all its oddities and horrors, did not lack in the local music stores. They were so acces- up 17 points or more in their last seven games. The part of the tournament. sible, even tourists knew where to go… mostly because they were located at almost any street corner. Did only bright spot has been their running game, as RB I forsake one of my all time favorite past times, one of the world’s greatest treasures to the human race, Justin Fargas has shown some spark every so often. by moving home? I am sure not. I am sure there must be something out there… but where? LAST WORD This holiday season, the one thing I am asking of you Jacksonville, is to bring home the music. It The Jags should be able to handle Oakland, Well, as I figured, the Gator basketball game spins me right round baby right round. Like a record baby. Like the world, baby. Where would we be with- and all the Jaguar fans can celebrate Christmas early. downtown last Saturday failed to fill the Coliseum, out music? Surely not round round round round. Their team will be 11-4. which I think is ridiculous, considering the huge num- ber of so-called die-hard Gator fans there are in this ‘THE OTHER THIRTY ONE’ town. Let’s set the table for the playoffs, shall we? To UF fans, Tim Tebow has become like Hanna In the AFC, the Patriots, Colts, and Chargers are Montana is to little teenage girls. If he made an ap- in, having won their respective divisions. New England pearance at the Coliseum before the game, the and Indy both have first round byes. The Steelers and coliseum would’ve been filled in a heartbeat. But the Browns are now tied in the AFC North at 9-5. The two-time defending National Champion basketball Jags are a virtual lock for one playoff slot, while the team can’t fill the seats for a game. Pathetic. Titans still have a shot with an 8-6 record. Pittsburgh As it was, the team barely won, 52-49, while played the Rams Thursday night. The Browns go to only making 13 baskets the entire GAME! Luckily, Cincy on Sunday, while the Titans host the Jets. Georgia Southern committed 21 fouls, allowing the In the NFC, the Cowboys, Packers, Seahawks, Gators to make 24 free throws. and Bucs are all Division winners. However, the two Anyway, the bottom line here is it amazes me wild card slots are totally up for grabs. The Vikings how selective college sports fans can be for their and Giants seem to have the inside track, but the Red- school. skins, Saints, Lions, Cardinals, Eagles, and Panthers all could seek into the playoffs, which show you how Tom Weppel talks trash with Greg Larson, Lonnie weak the NFC truly is. A 7-9 record could still make it Marts, Eugene Chung, Artis Gilmore, and Ron Duguay in. on SportsAvengers.com 24/7.

30 december 20-26, 2007 | entertaining u newspaper A Visit From Dale Jr. It wasn’t that long Until I heard the song nascar news & notes ‘Twas the night before Christmas Yabba-Dabba-Doo And all through the place I got plenty of Mountain Dew Many drivers were stirring by RICHARD TEAGUE [email protected] But I couldn’t see their face I saw out the doorway Yes sir, this has been one tough article to write “Diversity” I believe was the word? Oh sure, there The big green and white this week. This being my umpteenth time to try, I have been a few new teams, but how many races Next door at my buddy’s Parked right in my driveway sure hope it’s worthy of your time. I seem to have have they run, and will they continue next year? The I did see in the foyer Dale Jr. all big and bright what is called “writer’s block,” but in my case it small guy ain’t got a chance in this game no more, With his big smile could be a lack of news, since NA$CAR ain’t doing and hasn’t had in quite some time, perhaps even be- It was Clint Bowyer He flew threw the door much to talk about. Sure, a few teams are testing fore Brian, but AB (After Brian) they won’t ever have I always knew he could soar for the new season and there are a few silly things one. I wonder, what happens to the fine that is levied His big black Chevy Then landed with a thud happening, but nothing like the season we just went against teams, just who gets that money, REALLY? Was parked right out front And asked for a cold Bud through. All the big name drivers have got their rides Toyota started with Michael Waltrip last year And with bottles of Jack Black lined up and their Christmas presents bought (or at and now they got Gibbs. Was that why Mikey got They were all getting drunk Laid out all our presents least I hope they have), and most owners have taken a new partner? Because Toyota is dumping the big Just a quick as he came on their new partners and the checks are in the bank bucks over there? I never could understand why Way across the street Then back to the 88 to make payroll for next year. Toyota has got them- they went with MWR unless it was because of DW, At my good friend Pete’s Where he called out my name selves a new “flagship” team in Joe Gibbs Racing or did Mr. France help some too? If he did, you know It wasn’t for certain and a big name driver in Tony Stewart, or they think he got his cut right off the top. There again, NA$CAR but I think I saw Ward Burton He gathered the drivers they do, if you remember last week’s column. didn’t care if Japanese cars got into Cup racing, And told them to fly high Brian France is opening new bank accounts all they’re making money off them. I really hope that I jumped out of bed They need the altitude around Daytona Beach getting ready to fill ’em up France makes some announcements next week just And pulled on my pants To get over DEI with the money he hopes to bring in. As long as the in time for Christmas with more changes to racing. Just in time to look out back fans keep giving it to him there’s really no hoping It’ll be just like presents under the tree, but even and see Brian France As high as the stars there. You know, one day I hope (and I mean soon) better. Yeah right! Just when you think that there ain’t They all flew the cars Mr. France will realize that us fans are getting real no more surprises that NA$CAR could come up with I told my dear wife As each and everyone tired of the things he keeps doing to this sport. I’m – wham bam thank you fan – here’s more. It’s a heck of a life Hollered out in fun still waiting for the new tweaks NA$CAR has got I think I better back off right here, I really don’t To have all these good guys planned for 2008. You just know they’re coming but want to blow mine and John’s chance to go to Me- And one dad burn France MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, they might be afraid to say them right now. What on dia Day. I know he would be mad at me again and AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT! earth will they be? I have not got a clue. I’m just as might not talk to me like he did a few years back if’n I just knew it was my turn clueless as Brian France when he makes changes I did that. Well, just one more little thing. I wonder if So I went down the stairs From Myself and My Family to All of You, May This even he doesn’t understand. If some big money those Daytona Beach Police that answered the DUI Got ready to open the door Be a Very Special Christmas!! analyst told him that he could make more money driver call last year and ended up at Brian France’s And get the answer to my prayers MERRY CHRISTMAS ! by putting racecars around a track clockwise, he’d condo are on his Christmas list again this year? I change the rule (if there is one). also wonder just how long you have to keep the I know I have been real quiet for a long time cops that were there on that list. Does the police about NA$CAR, and particularly Mr. France, so as a chief stay on it longer than the officers? Does he kind of parting shot and a Christmas present to y’all get a nicer gift? How many edges are there on Sir I think I will catch up this week. Now, that may mean Knight France’s sword that he wields in his Kingdom I won’t get my invite to Media Day, but dang the of NA$CAR? Is it a single or double edged instru- bad luck (or damn the torpedoes); full speed ahead. ment he carries? Since he has taken the helm of NA$CAR we have Well, Christmas is here, and in just a couple seen the Chase format started along with Toyota of nights the Big Guy in the red suit will be coming entering Winston Cup. Yeah, I know it’s Nextel (now our way. I love this time of the year since I can sing Sprint). General Motors and Budweiser have pulled Christmas songs and nobody will look at me like sponsorship of the #29 and #8 cars, and when I’m weird. Yeah, I sing ’em all year long, but not so I RCR signs a multi-year contract with AT&T, good ole can be heard by all. But these days you can hear me NA$CAR says they got to be out in one year. Teams walking around work doing it and I’ll even get some- have to sell themselves to uncommon businesses to one to join in. We’re going to have our new annual be able to race for as long as the new money holds Christmas Breakfast again this year, since it worked out, which may not be very long when these new out so well last time. Ann enjoys it because there part-owners see the figures coming in this next year. is not quite as much food to prepare, but it’s still a Just how long do you think that guys like Gil- bunch of work and Bubbas & Bubba-ettes it is nice. lett or any of the names ya’ never heard of will keep I remember how I used to starve all morning long, putting huge money down a well that isn’t showing a waiting for dinner around 1 or 2, but no more. We return? Is the write-off at the end of the year for their get stuffed at 10 am and then it’s on to the Honey company really worth spending the kind of money Baked a little later. It can’t get any better!! to race in NA$CAR? Wasn’t it last year that Brian Without further ado, I’ll get right to my season- France and NA$CAR said that the single-team own- al poem. I hope you like it. It might be a long one. I ers are what they want in NA$CAR? Y’all remember. kinda’ make it up as I go along.

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