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What's Different Becomes Normal “WHAT’S DIFFERENT BECOMES NORMAL:” A PHENOMENOLOGICAL INVESTIGATION OF RELATIONAL IDENTITY AND CULTURAL NEGOTIATION IN INTERCULTURAL RELATIONSHIPS by LUCIANA C. SILVA (Under the Direction of David W. Wright) ABSTRACT Romantic intercultural relationships are becoming increasingly widespread given the influences of globalization, technological advances, and travel opportunities. The factors influencing successful entry and adjustment into intercultural relationships are reviewed. The reported study is a phenomenological one, focusing on the lived experience of being in an intimate intercultural relationship. Cultural negotiation and how it influences the relationship identity of intercultural relationships is also a primary focus of this study. Ten couples in which partners have cultural roots in different countries were recruited for participation. Two or three dyadic interviews were conducted with each couple, and interviews focused on relationship history, the couple’s views regarding the intercultural nature of their relationship, and their negotiation strategies. Phenomenological data analysis as proposed and described by Giorgi (1975) was used to derive essential themes from participants’ accounts of their experiences in intercultural relationships. Findings point to important issues left unexamined in the literature on intercultural relationships, such as how intercultural couples view and describe their own relationships, the negotiation practices they view as important in their everyday lives, and how they manage to blend different cultures in their routines. Based on these findings, I provide a theoretical explanation for some apparent inconsistencies in the couples’ accounts, using Reiss (1981) concept of the family paradigm. These findings contribute to a beginning understanding of relational identity and what factors intercultural couples use as the basis for the identity of their relationships. Empirically based recommendations for working with intercultural couples within the context of couple therapy are also provided. INDEX WORDS: Intercultural relationships, phenomenology, cultural negotiation, relational identity, cross-cultural relationships, intercultural couples “WHAT’S DIFFERENT BECOMES NORMAL:” A PHENOMENOLOGICAL INVESTIGATION OF RELATIONAL IDENTITY AND CULTURAL NEGOTIATION IN INTERCULTURAL RELATIONSHIPS by LUCIANA C. SILVA B.S., B.A., University of Georgia, 2004 M.S., University of Georgia, 2007 A Dissertation Submitted to the Graduate Faculty of The University of Georgia in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY ATHENS, GEORGIA 2009 © 2009 Luciana C. Silva All Rights Reserved “WHAT’S DIFFERENT BECOMES NORMAL:” A PHENOMENOLOGICAL INVESTIGATION OF RELATIONAL IDENTITY AND CULTURAL NEGOTIATION IN INTERCULTURAL RELATIONSHIPS by LUCIANA C. SILVA Major Professor: David Wright Committee: Maria Bermudez Denise Lewis Lynda Walters Electronic Version Approved: Maureen Grasso Dean of the Graduate School The University of Georgia August 2009 iv DEDICATION I dedicate this work to John, my intercultural partner, my soul’s twin born and raised in a different motherland. I am so glad our paths crossed, against all odds. You are my rock and I am convinced the degree this dissertation represents would not be possible without you, in so many ways. This is your accomplishment too. v ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I want to thank first and foremost my family—the ones still with me in this world and the ones who have already gone on to a better one (I know you all have been watching over me for a while)--for being there every step of the way, however you were needed, and for always believing that I could do this even when I did not believe it myself. My heartfelt thank you also goes to David Wright, my advisor, who has been so much more than that—you have been and will always be my mentor, my teacher, my academic father, and my dear friend. Thank you for stepping up to the immense challenge of mentoring me and nurturing me in an often hostile environment, for believing in me when I did not believe in myself, for taking me on as a student and a cause (really!), for your staunch developmental view of my mistakes, my tears, and, yes, my “passionate” ways, and thank you for your respect, honesty, and unwavering support (and for the tissue box in your office in my honor). Thank you to Maria Bermudez for being my “shero” and a great mentor, for Lynda Walters for being the best role model a girl can have, and for Denise Lewis, for not hesitating to take me under her immense, powerful wing. Thank you also to Nicole Childs and Jennifer Gonyea, for being great academic big sisters, and Desiree Seponski for being my academic little sister and for trusting, befriending, and caring about me like a true little sister—you have been such a great comrade in this madness! And last but definitely not least, thank you to the really wonderful, generous, impressive, inspirational, and above all, cute couples who participated in my dissertation study. Without your generous support and giving of your time this dissertation truly would not have been possible. You all have been such an inspiration to me, both professionally and personally, and I wish you vi all the best. And, by the way, you are absolutely right: intercultural relationships are just so much better—trust me, I am a doctor now!!! vii TABLE OF CONTENTS Page ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.............................................................................................................v LIST OF TABLES...........................................................................................................................x CHAPTER 1 INTRODUCTION .........................................................................................................1 2 LITERATURE REVIEW..............................................................................................3 Entry into Intercultural Relationships .......................................................................3 Adjustment to Intercultural Relationships...............................................................11 Cultural Negotiation: Inside and Outside the Therapy Room.................................21 Conclusion...............................................................................................................25 Purpose of Study .....................................................................................................28 A Note about Culture ..............................................................................................30 3 METHOD ....................................................................................................................32 Epistemological Framework....................................................................................32 Theoretical Framework ...........................................................................................33 Subjectivity Statement.............................................................................................33 Methodological Framework ....................................................................................35 Participants ..............................................................................................................40 Recruitment .............................................................................................................46 Procedure.................................................................................................................47 viii Analysis...................................................................................................................51 Trustworthiness .......................................................................................................52 Ethics.......................................................................................................................53 4 FINDINGS...................................................................................................................56 Answering Sub-Question 1: What is the Essence of the Couples’ Relational Identity?.............................................................................................................59 Answering Sub-Question 2: What is these Couples’ Experience of Everyday Cultural Negotiation within Their Relationships?.............................................92 Conclusion.............................................................................................................114 5 DISCUSSION............................................................................................................116 Summary of Reiss’ Model.....................................................................................117 Using Paradigms to Understand Intercultural Relationships ................................119 Recommendations for Couple Therapy with Intercultural Couples: Learning to Straddle Differences and Similarities..............................................................130 Study Limitations and Future Research ................................................................145 A Final Note of Hope ............................................................................................147 REFERENCES ............................................................................................................................149 APPENDICES .............................................................................................................................161 A Couple Descriptive Portraits......................................................................................151
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