Chronicles Newsletter of the UCSD Emeriti Association

December 2010 Volume X, No. 2

Confronting UCSD’s Budget Crisis

By Paul Drake as social services and K-12, above UC. Professor Emeritus of Political For UCSD to expect a rescue from Science UCOP seems an equally slim hope. That office has finally mounted a funding UCSD continues to suffer from the campaign in Sacramento, but to little worst budget crisis in its history. This avail. Although the President and the financial disaster consumed my just- Regents recently approved vital hikes ended term as Senior Vice Chancellor (of 8 percent) in student fees, they are for Academic Affairs. In the last few unwilling to charge enough to cover our years, the budget for academic person- costs. The only other money available to nel and programs has been depleted by Oakland is taken from the campuses. decisions made by the state, by the Uni- UCOP’s financial decisions are just versity of California Office of the Presi- as likely to harm as to help UCSD. Ex- dent (UCOP), and by UCSD. During amples include four recent initiatives the devastation wrought by the “Great that we vigorously opposed. Three years Recession,” I learned four key lessons ago, UCOP imposed an across-the- resources to pay for it. Although we sup- about how the academic core of the uni- board, rather than merit-based, increase ported boosting salaries, we deplored the versity can survive and revive. in faculty salaries that confiscated our First, UCSD must craft its own so- methodology. Then UCOP jacked up lutions to the economic downturn. Even graduate student fees, which are more if the state and UCOP eventually bring of a cost to us than a source of income. us some relief, it is unlikely to be suffi- Thereafter they escalated employer con- cient to realize our aspirations. For the tributions to the strapped retirement foreseeable future, we cannot rely on system, which the campuses will have bailouts from Sacramento or Oakland. to underwrite. Now they are proposing Although we should continue to a cap on non-resident student enroll- lobby the state government to revive its ments, our major new prospect for rev- funding for the UC system, we would enue gains. Meanwhile they continue to be naïve to count on it. Our state has channel to other campuses substantial v v v v v v nearly reached the bottom of a twenty- Inside dollars produced by UCSD. In many re- year decline in allocations for public spects, we would be better off if UCOP Budget Changes...... 3 universities, reflecting a national trend. would just let us keep the funds we earn, After each plunge in our support, Sac- Discovery of America. . . . . 4 especially student fees and indirect cost ramento has failed to restore previous recovery, to deploy for our own priorities In Case You Missed It. . . . . 4 levels. Even when the state’s economy and projects. recovers, its government could remain ...... 5 In the absence of salvation from dysfunctional and burdened with defi- above, UCSD must emphasize three Anecdotage ...... 7 cits. Even if the state replenishes its strategies to preserve and enhance the coffers, politicians, voters, and taxpay- Mark Your Calendar . . . . . 8 sterling academic foundation that has ers may well rank other priorities, such Continued on p.2 ➝

UCSD Emeriti Association Page 2 December 2010 v Chronicles made it a world-class institution. Hir- most significant source of new income allocate the reductions selectively with ing and nurturing fabulous research for Academic Affairs. Rather than being the goal of sustaining the academic core faculty has been the origin, engine, and distributed by UCOP, incremental NRS and its highest-quality components. As trademark of this upstart institution. A monies belong to the campus. Without much as possible, the campus should relentless emphasis on rigorous stan- those funds, we could not have resur- prune non-essential, non-academic ser- dards for the quality of the faculty and rected faculty recruitments on the general vices first. Thereafter, the faculty, de- their programs has propelled us upwards campus this year. We had to return to the partments, programs, and deans must in the rankings of research universities. academic marketplace in order to begin continue to streamline their operations, The star faculty members attract the stu- replacing the scores of precious positions eliminate redundancies, and make tough dents and the grants, the fame and the lost to budget cuts during the regrettable decisions about which specialties to cul- fortune. They drive the university from but mandatory freeze on hiring the year tivate for the future. For example, we the bottom up. They are our best invest- before. can further jettison excess regulations ment in the future. To continue this as- Within reasonable limits, augment- and administrators, consolidate staff and cent requires that we concentrate our ing the ranks of non-resident students at IT among departments, programs, and dwindling dollars on that academic core. UCSD should not provoke an unbear- ORUs, weed out unnecessary courses To achieve that objective, the sec- able political backlash. NRS currently and majors, reduce exaggerated require- ond lesson I learned is that UCSD account for less than 10% of our un- ments for majors and degrees, employ should stop whittling away at the aca- dergraduates, compared to over 20% at more online instructional mechanisms, demic core and instead focus on obtain- Berkeley and 35% at places like Michigan and achieve other efficiencies, without ing underutilized resources. The campus and Wisconsin. They are being brought damaging our most essential educational must mobilize every effort to garner more in on top of our funded California under- offerings. revenues from outside sources to support graduates, whose education will benefit At the same time, we must make the academic core, including the Gen- from the higher tuition and distinctive very hard choices about what types of eral Campus (GC), the Health Sciences perspectives provided by students from faculty, research, and teaching to em- (SOM), and the Marine Sciences (SIO). other states and countries. These NRS phasize in the coming years. We must Many of our peers, such as Michigan and dollars can also help finance efforts to not only build on strength but also foster Virginia, are far ahead of us in develop- diversify the faculty and student body. innovation. We can be the best in many ing alternative sources to the state trea- Just before the end of my tenure as things, but not everything. In large part, sury. We should amplify our intake from SVCAA, I forged an agreement with the UCSD became an academic powerhouse non-resident student tuition and fees, Chancellor to guarantee 68% of all ad- by promoting certain niches and com- high-fee Masters programs, indirect cost ditional NRS revenues to Academic Af- parative advantages, as well as gambling recovery, non-state forms of faculty com- fairs. That is where those dollars should on bold ventures. Now we can re-invent pensation (similar to the system in the go because their purpose is to fund the the UCSD of Tomorrow with that same Health Sciences), auxiliaries, tech trans- students’ education. In the years ahead, entrepreneurial and individualistic ap- fer, partnerships with the private sector, the biggest challenge will be to recruit proach. and philanthropy. more non-resident students to UCSD Fourth, UCSD should improve its All of these complex and controver- (and our national ranking as the top uni- budgeting process. It must make its bud- sial revenue-generating proposals will versity for surfing may help). geting tradeoffs in a more transparent require careful planning, discussion, and Third, until we overcome the cur- way so that the faculty can weigh in, espe- implementation between Academic Af- rent crunch of austerity, UCSD must cially in hard times when every financial fairs and the Academic Senate. UCSD carry out the remaining painful budget choice is a zero-sum game. In addition, must make sure that these endeavors cuts in a very targeted manner. We must UCSD should adopt an Executive Vice contribute to the quality of the academ- Chancellor for Academic Affairs (EVC)/ ic core. We must also insure that they Provost model like all the other UC cam- benefit all departments, not just those Emeriti Website puses and most major research universi- most capable of tapping non-state dol- The UCSD Emeriti Association ties. Having all the non-academic Vice lars. However, we must take action with maintains a website: Chancellors report to that official would all deliberate speed to bring a halt to the http://emeriti.ucsd.edu establish the primacy of the faculty and hemorrhaging. Clicking the News, Programs & their research and teaching programs in Thankfully, we have already reached Meetings button will allow you to all budgetary planning, deliberations, and view past issues of this newsletter. agreement with the Academic Senate on The website also provides the con- decisions. the urgent need to expand the enroll- stitution and by-laws, lists of mem- With an effective EVC structure, all ment of non-resident graduate and espe- bers, and minutes of meetings. ancillary programs would have to justify cially undergraduate students (NRS), the their expenditures based on their crucial

UCSD Emeriti Association The Discovery of America Chronicles v December 2010 Page 3 contributions to the academic enterprise. All the non-academic Vice Chancellor Executive Committee Adopts areas perform vital functions, but every option for savings needs to be up for Budget Changes for 2010/2011 consideration in order to safeguard the academic heart of the university. One non-academic operation that should be The Emeriti Association’s budget for 2010/2011, approved by the Executive bostered is fundraising for academic pur- Committee on July 14th, 2010, contains several changes that will impact the poses through External Relations. membership, though an increase in membership dues is not one of them. Establishing such a powerful Provost As the Association expenses have increased, significantly, over the past four at UCSD is complicated by the relative years, its revenue has not. autonomy of the School of Medicine and The 2010/2011 Projected Budget as originally presented to the Committee (see the Scripps Institution of Oceanography. below) would have resulted in a $7210 deficit. Several reasons were identified Their faculty must become convinced as contributing to the shortfall. that joining with the General Campus • The bulk of the membership (300 of the 400 members) are Life Members to exert primary authority for academic resulting in only 100 members currently paying annual membership dues of needs through the EVC will also serve their best interests. The proposal for this $30 ($40 for a couple). change passed overwhelmingly by the • The regular meetings held at the Faculty Club cost approximately $450/ Academic Senate last year could become meeting. a step in the right direction. • Although members paid to attend the annual luncheon/business meeting, Except for alterations in the budget- which attracted 72 attendees, it still needed a subsidy of $1400 from the making structure, UCSD has already budget. made significant strides in all the direc- • The new/prospective member reception in the spring is projected to cost tions outlined above. Now it must ac- $3000. This event is currently free to all attendees. celerate that transformation. We cannot By reviewing expense categories, the Executive Committee approved the fol- simply wait for better days. lowing measures that should result in cost cutting and potential revenue en- Our university can still be great and hancements. become even greater with fewer state • Increase the cost for attendance at the annual luncheon from $25 to $35 dollars, faculty, staff, and programs. Prior ($600 savings). to the budget crisis, we thrived because • Charge current members $25 to attend the new/prospective member recep- of our extraordinary faculty, staff, and tion ($2250 savings). students. We still have those invaluable • Provide an opt-in for members to receive Chronicles electronically ($400 sav- assets. We still boast one of the best re- ings). search universities on the planet. UCSD • Continue to encourage tax deductible donations to the EA. Many Life Mem- has never possessed funding comparable bers do donate to the EA each year, which partially offsets the deficit. to that enjoyed by UCB and UCLA, yet • Encourage Emeriti to “underwrite a meeting” at a donation cost of $500. we have soared to similar heights in the Checks for such donations should be sent to the Retirement Resource Cen- academic stratosphere. We have done ter with made payable to the UC San Diego Foundation, with a note in the more with less. We still can. memo line “For the Emeriti Association Program Fund, #4562. We have already proven that we • Hold two monthly meetings of the EA in campus venues that are free of know how to create a stellar university charge. with scarce resources. Now we must • Actively recruit more members. seize the necessity and opportunity to do it again. To continue our upward tra- The cost-cutting measures changes will save the EA approximately $3250. In jectory, we can build upon a towering addition, by actively recruiting new regular members, increasing the number legacy of excellence. With vision and de- of program meetings “underwritten” by members and encouraging Life Mem- termination, the faculty and their allies bers to continue their donations, it is anticipated that the budget gap will be among the outstanding staff can rekin- substantially reduced. dle UCSD’s pioneering spirit and march forward to a brighter future. More than Phyllis Mirsky ever, our destiny should be in our own Secretary-Treasurer hands. v

UCSD Emeriti Association Page 4 December 2010 v Chronicles

The Discovery of America

By Bram Dijkstra Indeed, the better the artist, the more Professor Emeritus of American and distinguished – and the more directly Comparative Literature an expression of personal passion – his or her work in this field tends to be. But In the American cultural environ- because naked passion terrifies those who ment the naked human body is still have most to hide, the best of such work often cast as the perpetuum mobile of has usually ended up under the counter moral outrage. Why representations of or in the basements of our museums. the undraped body should be consid- Naked has recuperated much of this ered damaging to the intellectual fiber material, presenting the reader with a of this nation has always been a mystery dazzling array of variations on the expres- to me. Cultural history is nothing if not sive potential of the human body, both the new frontier of our knowledge about male and female. The images included the details of the human condition, and constitute a spectacular record of some a thorough historical treatment of the of the most elegant, but even today still whys and wherefores of the visual repre- largely “hidden” bodies to be found in sentation of the nude in our moral and American art, photography and sculp- social environment is an integral part of might be argued that there is little room ture. Featuring such unconventional sub- this knowledge. As the first detailed his- left for outrage within the context of jects as “From Hercules to Superman,” tory of this subject in more than thirty- contemporary visual culture, but Naked “The Discovery of the Pubes,” “The In- five years, my book Naked: The Nude in demonstrates that a constructive rage vasion of the Pinup Queens” and “The America, is long overdue. against convention in the representation Inexorable Rise of the Breast,” the book The book delineates the carefully of the human body has been one of the provides a lavishly illustrated record and orchestrated, and unfortunately usually longest-standing secret weapons against interpretation of the historical manifes- sexist, rules that served to regulate the conformity in the annals of American art. tations and permutations of America’s representation of the nude figure in “high The manner in which the undraped fraught fascination with imagery of the art” and the transgressions that turned human figure is depicted in art inevitably nude. As such it distills the arguments “high” into “low.” It also shows how reveals historical changes in the prevail- of earlier books of mine such as Idols of most of these rules have, in recent years, ing conceptions of appropriate gender Perversity, Evil Sisters and American Ex- been subverted by manifestations of the behavior. In more than 430 illustrations, pressionism and demonstrates the central “sexual anarchy” that was formerly seen the book documents the still ongo- relevance of socio-critical analysis to the to govern the lower depths of the popu- ing clash between the Puritan strain in study of the arts. lar imagination. The dignified “nudes” of American life and a variety of more life- traditional art are featured side by side affirming concepts of the sensuous side Dijkstra’s newest book has been pub- with the raw, far more directly “naked” of human relationships. American artists lished by Rizzoli. He will reveal it and sign world of pulp fiction magazine covers, have always excelled in their pursuit of copies at an event entitled “Get NAKED comic books and pinup calendars. Given unembarrassed expressions of the beauti- for Valentine’s” at Warwick’s bookstore in the explicit nature of much recent art, it ful in their representations of the nude. La Jolla February 8 at 7:30 p.m.

In Case You Missed It…

The University of California, which for years has paid nearly 90 percent or more of retiree health insurance premiums, is expected to gradually reduce its share to about 70 percent for most retirees under a new cost-sharing plan. . . .For 2011, the change is reflected in medical plan premium rates published in the Open Enrollment materials that retirees received in October. A phase-in period is intended to give retirees time to plan for the additional cost. “Each year…the administration should reassess the level of the university contribution, the appropriateness of an additional three percent reduction in contribution and whether the floor should be 70 percent or a higher amount,” the [Post-Employment Benefits] task force wrote in its report to the President. New Dimensions (newsletter for UC retirees), November 2010

UCSD Emeriti Association Chronicles v December 2010 Page 5

Franz Liszt And The Romantic Revival

By Cecil Lytle Professor Emeritus of Music sociation in Budapest. When completed, an ignominious death there; Beethoven our film will be shown at music festivals was deaf and dying; and the mercurial in the United States and Europe. Schubert was still an unknown waiting The documentary will begin with to be discovered. So after a brief eighteen Liszt’s early years when his talent was first months in which Franz studied with noticed by his father Adam. Even at the Czerny and composition with Antonio Sa- tender age of nine, little “Franzi’s” perfor- lieri, he went with his family to Paris. mances on the piano made listeners think When they arrived, in 1822, they he was the second coming of Mozart. found a city still gripped by the contra- Indeed, his father sought to follow the dictory tensions unleashed by the French “stage parent” model set by Leopold Mo- Revolution and subsequent counter revo- zart by presenting his gifted progeny to lutions. On the second day of their ar- the leading musical authorities in Europe. rival, Adam presented his prodigy to Mae- It is hard not to notice that classical He left a relatively secure position as the stro , the director of the music is going through a Romantic re- chief accountant for a wealthy family in Paris Conservatory of Music. Ironically, vival. Orchestras, companies, and eastern Hungary to set out with his wife this Italian-born master of opera turned soloists of all stripes are programming and young son for Vienna where young down Liszt’s application for admission the major and lesser compositions of the Franz would be able to study with the due to a newly passed rule forbidding the nineteenth century movement in litera- master piano pedagogue, . enrollment of foreign piano students! ture and art. Works by Fredric Chopin Having himself been a wunderkind, But that rejection may have been for and – both of whom Czerny was immediately struck by the the best because Liszt was essentially an happened to be born in 1810 – are espe- youngster’s talent, even as he was shocked auto-didact. The rudimentary velocity cially in vogue. Music addicts are advised by his lack of keyboard discipline: training he received form Czerny focused to brace themselves for an extended pe- A man with a small boy of about eight on perfecting his mastery of finger dexter- riod of bicentennial birthday bashes years approached me with a request to let the ity and other pianistic gestures. On his inasmuch as both Giuseppe Verdi and youngster play something on the forte piano. own, in his late teens, Liszt advanced the were born in 1813. Op- He was a pale, sickly-looking child who, while relationship between the hand and body era companies worldwide are preparing to playing, swayed about the stool as if drunk, so and the piano keyboard. The typical lay- boost ticket sales with celebratory events that I often thought he would fall to the floor. out of a classical piano piece was essen- marking the arrival of these two masters His playing was also quite irregular, untidy, tially a two-layer texture – the left hand of musical narrative. confused, and he had so little idea of fingering was devoted to accompaniment while the But the one Romantic composer who that he threw his fingers quite arbitrarily all right was made chiefly responsible for pro- needs revival most is Franz Liszt (1811- over the keyboard. But that notwithstanding, I jecting the melody. Young Liszt diligently 1886). Although a collection of his com- was astonished at the talent which nature had composed new piano works that exploited positions would stand waist-high, most bestowed on him. multiple layers of activity. Several pieces listeners know fewer than a half-dozen Czerny took the boy on free of charge from this period have the melody divided or so of his piano pieces – works like his and devoted every evening to his instruc- between the adjacent thumbs with the re- iconic Liebestraum – which are most of- tion. Young Liszt was given a strict regi- maining fingers of the left hand simulta- ten heard in Tom & Jerry cartoons, on el- men of scales, arpeggios, and the already neously coordinated to provide an accom- evator rides, or in the dentist’s office. He celebrated Czerny studies and exercises. paniment and the remaining four fingers deserves better. There is no question that Czerny’s “Art of Finger Dexterity,” as well of the right hand devoted to an upper Liszt was the most celebrated and innova- as Clementi’s “Gradus Ad Parnassum” register counter melody as embroidery. tive musician of the Romantic period. became the daily diet of the impassioned The many etudes of Liszt offer as many as To help promote this revival, I am youngster and his impatient father. four and five levels of activity taking place collaborating with UCTV on a three-hour Under Czerny’s tutelage, Liszt began between the two hands. This is also the film documentary examining Liszt’s life to attract notice, but his father was astute case with many of his late impressionistic and work. This will be one of two Ameri- enough to sense that Vienna, although piano works that attempt to portray fall- can contributions to the 2011 bicentenary still an economic and military center, was ing water or galloping horses. celebrations of the International Liszt As- a city in cultural decay: Mozart had died Continued on p.6 ➝

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In Paris he found an enthusiastic re- Hans von Bülow, and bore him three ception in the salons for which the city children. But as Liszt was leaving had been famous since the seventeenth for Rome, she was carrying on an affair century. Thanks to the military cam- with the quarrelsome and difficult Wag- paigns of Napoleon Bonaparte, Paris had ner. Their ménage à trois was the scandal become a hothouse for cultural revolu- heard around the world. Liszt’s letters to tion. The salons attracted many of the all three over a period of six years show a most innovative minds of the age –among heartbroken father trying, first, to patch them , Honoré de Balzac, up the marriage between Cosima and von Heinrich Heine, , Eugène Bülow, then pleading with Wagner not to Delacroix, George Sand, Fredric Chopin, continue the seduction of his daughter, and David Hume. There, women were and finally reconciling himself to the fact men’s equals. It was they who usually from every feature; became beauteous as spirit that an embittered Cosima was, in fact, planned and hosted the salon presenta- and enthusiasm can make one! acting out the theatre of his youth when tions. They were often beautiful, rich, Liszt’s concertizing took him to the he took up with the unhappily married young, and fully emancipated, and they capitals of Europe and to places that had Marie, her mother, in Paris. created an ambience in which a dashingly little more than a stable and corral for a With the untimely death of two of handsome, extremely gifted, and sexually venue, everywhere from Britain to the his children, the shenanigans of Hans, attractive young man like Liszt would be empire of the czars – even in the dead of Richard, and Cosima, and the wholesale noticed. One woman among the many winter. Once, outside Kiev in 1849, he rejection of his music compositions by who noticed him was a beautiful, wealthy, had to be delivered to the concert hall critical musical circles, it is not surprising intelligent--but unhappily married--count- by dog sled! Suddenly, however, in that that Liszt responded to a calling from his ess named Marie d’Agoult. Their ten very concert, with little warning and at youth and devoted himself to the Catholic year affair, or pèlerinage, wandering across the height of his fame and fortune, Liszt Church, taking Lower Orders to become Europe in a Byronic adventure, produced announced an end to performing for the an Abbé. The final two decades of his three children that were farmed out to his public for money. He then settled down as long life were grim and as restless as ever. mother for care. Extraordinaire in the small He spent one-third of each year in three Before long, Liszt was the most cele- regional principality of Weimar where cities: Rome, Weimar, and Budapest. The brated pianist in all of Europe. Heine he devoted himself to conducting and compositions he wrote during this period coined the term “” to de- developing what he called German Music are the most introspective and religious of scribe the rapture that enveloped the trav- of the Future. With the motley orchestra his long career. eling virtuoso. Hans Christian Andersen he inherited from Maestro Johann Nepo- In retrospect, Liszt was even more captured the fervor felt both the audience muk Hummel, he stunned the conserva- than the foremost musical Romanticist. and the artist at his appearances: tive ears of Weimar with premieres of the He was a creature of three centuries: When Liszt entered, it was as if an elec- orchestral works of Robert Schumann, taught fundamentals by two of the mas- tric shock passed through the salon. Most of the Richard Wagner, , and ters of 18th century style (Czerny and Sa- ladies rose, it was as if a ray of sunlight passed the new genre of orchestral works he lieri), he led every development in the over everwy face, as if all eyes were greeting called “symphonic poems.” Together with Romantic music of his own century, and a dear, beloved friend! I was standing quite Wagner, Liszt developed a new approach composed works that hinted at innova- near to the artist who is a thin young man, his to music as narrative. In this respect he tions better known in the 20th. (His pen- long dark hair hanging around his pale face; he believed that he was heir to Göethe, not ultimate work was entitled Bagatelle sans bowed and sat down at the piano. . . As Liszt Hummel. Tonalité.) The research developing around sat before the pianoforte, my first impression At the concert near Kiev, he was in- the Liszt bicentenary is demonstrating the of his personality was derived from the appear- troduced to Princess Carolyne von Sayn- connections between many of his final ance of strong passions in his pale face, so that Wittgenstein, who was to become his ideas about music in the mature works of he seemed to me a demon who was nailed fast muse and constant companion during Arnold Schoenberg, Olivier Messiaen, to the instrument from whence the tones were the Weimar period. Given his restless na- and Claude Debussy, who helped Liszt streaming forth – they came from his blood, ture, the Weimar chapter of his life also transcribe and notate those late works. from his thoughts; he was a demon trying to ended suddenly in 1860 and ushered in It is my hope that our documentary play his soul free; he was on the rack, his blood another major change in the direction film will shed light on the fascinating life was flowing and his nerves trembling; but as he for his personal and musical life. His fi- of Franz Liszt and the powerful influence continued to play, the demonic disappeared; I nal twenty-six years were bitter. His sur- he had on music of his own time and ours. saw his pale face assume a nobler and brighter viving child, Cosima, tormented his life. expression: the divine soul shone from his eyes, She had married Liszt’s prized student,

UCSD Emeriti Association Chronicles v December 2010 Page 7

well skip it. “You know what he’s going Nominations to say,” I said, ‘Take two ice cubes and Anecdotage call me in the morning.’” Invited v v v By Sandy Lakoff The Washington Post Mensa Invitational Emeriti Association mem- Blame Kurt Shuler for this story. It seems once again invited readers to take any bers, you are invited to nomi- a mother and child were out for a drive word from the dictionary, alter it by add- nate yourself or a colleague who when a rabbit darted in front of the car ing, subtracting, or changing one letter, has agreed to be nominated, to and was run over. Mother and child got and supply a new definition. Here are a position on the Emeriti Asso- out of the car, and saw that the rabbit some of the winners: ciation Executive Committee, a was done for. The child began to cry. So 1. Cashtration: The act of buying a ten-member group that meets the mother went over to the motionless house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite monthly, September through bunny, did something to it, and lo and behold the rabbit rose up on its hind legs period of time. May, to plan and lead the As- and waved at them. The child, delighted, sociation’s programs and opera- 2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stu- asked his mother what she had done. pid and an asshole. tions. “Why,” she replied, “I gave him a hare restorer and a permanent wave!” 3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax It’s a great way to stay refund, which lasts until you realize it abreast of campus and UC-wide v v v was your money to start with. developments, to continue your Thanks to Susan Chalek: A young Jew- 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as involvement with the UCSD ish man excitedly tells his mother he’s a hillbilly. campus, and to enjoy the com- fallen in love and that he is going to get 5. Bozone: The substance surrounding pany of congenial colleagues. married. He says, “Just for fun, ma, I’m stupid people that stops bright ideas The monthly meetings are held going to bring over three women. Try and from penetrating. The bozone layer, guess which one I’m going to marry.” His at 2:30 p.m. on the second unfortunately, shows little sign of mother agrees. The next day, he brings breaking down in the near future. Wednesday of the month in three beautiful women home and sits the Faculty Club, just before the them all down on the couch. They chat 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation general program meetings. For for a while. Then the son says, “Okay, about yourself for the purpose of get- the 2011-2012 academic year, ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.” ting laid. nominations are invited for She immediately replies, “The one on 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted the offices of Vice-President/ the right.” “That’s amazing, ma, you’re very, very high. President-Elect, and two Mem- right,” says the son, “but how did you 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the know?” “Simple,” the mother replies, “I bers at Large. The Nominating author of sarcastic wit and the person don’t like her.” Committee will recommend a who doesn’t get it. slate of Officers to the Execu- v v v 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intrave- tive Committee at its March A friend of mine recently benefited from nously when you are running late. meeting, with the final slate a new medical technique. He had suf- 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate dis- presented to the Membership at fered a severe stroke and the doctors de- ease. (This one got extra credit.) the Annual Meeting in June. For cided to lower his body temperature to 11. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stu- permit recovery. (A San Diego company more information and to forward pid ideas to seem smarter when they has invented RhinoChill brain freeze – come at you rapidly. nominations, contact Jacqueline a system that allows first responders in Hanson, Past-President of the emergency situations to improve sur- 11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when ev- Emeriti Association and Chair of vivability in their patients by applying a erybody is sending off all these really the Nominating Committee at chilling nose spray to cool the brain on bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious [email protected]. site. It is now in clinical trials.) Amaz- bummer. ingly, the strategy worked and he is as – Dick Attiyeh, President good as new. Sometime later, when he 12. Decafalon: The grueling event of mentioned that he had a doctor’s ap- getting through the day consuming pointment, I told him he might just as only things that are good for you.

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Chronicles December 2010

r C You alen rk da a r Chronicles M ! Newsletter of the UCSD Emeriti Association v v v Sanford Lakoff Editor ([email protected]) Saturday, December 11 Jeff Calcara Layout and Design 1:00-4:00 p.m. Officers Richard Attiyeh President Ann Craig Vice President/President Elect Holiday Party Phyllis Mirsky Secretary-Treasurer ($25 per person) Jacqueline Hanson Past President Executive Committee Members at Large: Matthew Chen, Peter Farrell, Charles Kennel, Carmel Myers, Percy Russell, John Wheeler; Wednesday, February 9, 4:00-5:30 Ex-Officio: Robert Hamburger, Historian; William Gris- Associate Professor John Evans wold, Liaison to Retirement Association, Sandy Lakoff, edi- Department of Sociology tor, Chronicles, Suzan Cioffi, Director, Retirement Resource “The Real Conflict Between Religion Center; Mary McIlwain, Liaison to Oceanids and Science” Forward queries, changes in mailing/e-mail address to Suzan Cioffi, Executive Director, UCSD Retirement Resource Center, 0020, UCSD, 9500 Gilman Drive, 92093-0020; telephone (858) 534-4724 • [email protected] Green Faculty Club