Newsletter of the U.S.S. Chesapeake Star Trek Club April, 2004 Deep Space Nine beams into Spike TV line-up Star Trek: Deep Space work before it was purchased by Paramount, Nine journeyed from the Spike TV has shown reruns of The Next Gen- edge of the final frontier to a eration for several years and will continue to Odo is featured in one cable television channel near you when it air that show each weekday at 1 p.m., 2 p.m. of Spike TV’s promos joined the regular slate of programs on Spike and 8 p.m. for Deep Space Nine. TV on Monday, April 5. Deep Space Nine premiered in January of To celebrate the arrival of DS9, the net- 1993 in the highest-rated series debut in work aired nine consecutive episodes of the syndication history and earned four Emmy series every day that week before moving the Awards during its seven-year run, which is show to its regular time slot of 7 p.m. Monday now available on DVD. Voyager is expected to through Friday. join its fellow Star Trek programs on Spike TV Also on Fridays, Spike TV will air a two- in late 2006. part episode of Deep Space Nine, uncut from  Scott Bakula (Captain Jonathan its original broadcast, beginning at 9 p.m. with Archer) is doing the rounds of the talk shows no black bar at the bottom of the screen and this week to promote the final installments of limited commercial interruptions. Enterprise’s third season. Fans of the third Trek series can also mark On Thursday, April 15, Bakula will be the occasion by entering to win a four-day/ setting his alarm early to appear on The Early three night trip for two to Las Vegas, where Show on the CBS network. The newsmagazine they can enjoy the Borg Invasion 4D and runs from 7 to 9 a.m. each morning. Klingon Encounter rides at Star Trek: The Live with Regis & Kelly is scheduled to Experience. have Bakula as a guest on the following day, Those wishing to take part in Spike TV’s Friday, April 16. Live with Regis & Kelly is Deep Space Nine Sweepstakes must complete syndicated, so be sure to check your local the registration form at www.spiketv.com listings to see it in your area. before May 1. Winners will be chosen on May Enterprise returns from reruns on April 21 15 at random from all entries received, and the with “Damage,” which will pick up where grand prize winner will be notified by email “Azati Prime” left off. New episodes will be IN THIS ISSUE: within one week after the drawing. shown every week through to the season Art Credits 3 Book Review 2 Originally known as The Nashville Net- finale, “Zero Hour,” on May 26. Club Members Insert front Coming Events 6 Don’t miss the April club meeting! Directions to Meeting The next meeting of the U.S.S. Chesapeake upcoming Trek and sci-fi conventions, find Insert front Holodictation 6 will be held on Saturday, April 17, the first day out what fellow club members are up to and Meeting Minutes of spring, at the Montgomery Village, Mary- get the latest on Star Trek news, as well as an Insert back land, home of First Officer Abby Lindstrom. update on other areas of science fiction. Rantings 5 Reflections 4 We’ll gather around 6 p.m. at a nearby Do you need directions to this month’s Science Trek 3 restaurant for dinner, then head to Abby’s meeting? Then please be sure to check out the home for the meeting by 8 p.m. insert that is included with this month’s During the club meeting, we’ll discuss newsletter. Volume 13, Issue 4 Captain Randy Hall’s column will return in BOOK REVIEW: Avatar by S. D. Perry this space next “Return to the Edge of the Final Frontier. incredibly biased when it comes to DS9, so month! A bold new beginning for one of the most don’t listen to me. I nitpick and need to be compelling Star Trek sagas of all.” taken with a grain of salt where Deep Space This is the blurb on the back of Book One Nine is concerned. of Avatar, the first story in the much-antici- You can believe this: If you’re a fan of the pated “Deep Space Nine Relaunch” paperback show, you WILL be a fan of these books! series from Pocket Yes, the pacing and plotting are definitely Books. This novel like the series, and for most of us, that’s a picks up right where blessing. Even when some questions are “What You Leave answered, the answers only serve as spring- Behind ...” ended, boards for more questions. and I do mean There are lots of new characters, and I’ll PICKS UP! tell you this: They don’t all survive. I believe On an archeolog- you have to have that threat in any type of ical dig, Jake un- storytelling, if just to keep your reader honest. earths an ancient Not to mention that it also keeps your stories Bajoran artifact with fresh and unpredictable. Granted, there are an inscription that some who wallow in the mundane and the convinces him he will obvious, but it’s really hard to believe that This collage features enter the wormhole and “come back with the these people were ever fans of the show. the covers of Book One and Book Two Herald, the lost messenger who communed The introductions of the new characters of Avatar. with the Prophets—and in time to witness the are deftly handled by the author, making them spiritually significant birth of an alien child.” real and not just expenditures. You bleed for Ro Laren is the new chief of security on the the new guys, and one new character is certain station. Kasidy Sisko’s baby is getting ready to to raise the hair on the back of your neck, at beam aboard. The U.S.S. Aldebaran, assigned least at first. Overall, Avatar is very well done, to guard DS9, is destroyed by three Jem‘Hadar due to a good grasp of the regular characters Copyright 2004 strike ships. And the Enterprise makes an and a nicely told story–though I am bothered U.S.S. Chesapeake appearance, but not where you think. Several by everyone calling Kasidy Sisko “Kas.” Only NCC-9102, a not-for-profit other storylines are going on as well, and Jake actually called her that, and that was at organization. that’s just Book One! the end of the last episode. Other than that, All rights reserved, Book Two opens with the after- the story is perfect. including reproducing parts of math of a devastating Jem‘Hadar These books are this document. attack on the station and a enough to make a would- series of random killings. be novelist turn in his Check out our club website: www. A rogue Jem‘Hadar word processor. They usschesapeake.org soldier is running loose, are that GOOD. Every

“Star Trek,” “Star killing several people time I finished a chap- Trek: The Next and putting Doctor ter, I had to resist the Generation,” “Star Bashir in critical condi- temptation to re-read it, Trek: Deep Space Nine” and “Star tion. Kira, Ro and the newly but I knew if I did, I’d never Trek: Voyager,” arrived Commander Elias finish the story. And once I fin- as well as the terms Vaughn race the clock to find him ished Book One, I had to fight the temptation “starship” and “starship Enterprise,” before he can carry out his directive: the de- to read all 284 pages again. are registered struction of Deep Space Nine! But if you think that once you’re through trademarks of I consider this story to be the start of the with Avatar, all your questions and aspirations Paramount Pictures Corporation. much-wanted eighth season of Deep Space will be fulfilled, think again. You’ll be waiting All rights reserved. Nine. It has everything I could ask for. with bated breath for the follow-up books, Absolutely no Author S. D. Perry has a good grasp of the which in my opinion, take too long to come infringement on these rights is characters we already know, and she takes out, but then, I’m impatient. intended. them into new and exciting territory. I do Ratings: Book One—-1/2; think that Quark occasionally lapses into un- Book Two—. COMSTAR, page 2 Quark-like behavior, but I’m a purist and Conn Officer Lorenzo Heard SCIENCE TREK: The sky is falling! More precisely, rocks from the sky are meteorite striking the moon and caught it on falling to Earth; maybe not today, but they did videotape. in yesteryear, and they will again in the future. Risky business More scientifically, meteoroids and asteroids The solar system is less cluttered today, orbiting the sun find their orbit modified by but perhaps just as threatening. NASA’s Near the gravitational forces of other bodies in the Earth Object Program has observed nearly 54 solar system (e.g., Jupiter) and within a few percent of the estimated 1,100 potentially million years cross Earth’s orbit when our hazardous (see the definition on the first planet is in the way. Pretty spectacular to see, NASA page in Web Notes) near Earth. The if you’re not on Earth when it hits. estimate, though, has varied in recent years Blasts in the past both up and down, and that’s just the “small” Not as spectacular, perhaps, as those blasts stuff. One bad wallop from a boulder the size in the past. Way back when the Earth was of D.C., and goodbye, Western and Eastern hotter than the hottest buffalo wings Loren- civilization. Don’t sweat the small stuff, zo’s ever eaten, a would-be planetoid the size though, because the program is on its way to of Mars slammed into the Earth and kicked finding and plotting the orbits of the remain- into orbit enough material to form the ing 500 or so objects. moon—or so one theory goes. Back then, the We’ve come close a couple times in recent solar system was littered with far more con- years to seeing how movies such as Armaged- struction debris, and space rocks hit the Earth don would mesh with reality (what, no com- (and its lunar shield) more often. ment?), but each time, the observers spotted Not many Big Ones™ recently, but the object after it had passed over or refined Meteor Crater in Arizona—the first impact their calculations to find that nope, that crater identified on Earth—was blasted into meteoroid ain’t gonna hit on March 21, 2014. existence only 50,000 years ago. That’s a lot of The future’s end? years ago by our day-to-day standards, but What if the Big One™ does hit? And, consider the Earth is about 90,000 times older perhaps more importantly if you’re into than that. More recently, there is the contro- gambling, when? versial lunar strike of 1168 when a quintuple Second question first: The good news is, group of British monks may have witnessed it didn’t happen as of 9:42 p.m. EDT April 8, the creation of the newest crater on the moon, 2004. The bad news is, it could happen though recent studies indicate they may just tomorrow. Given that most near-Earth have seen a coincidental meteor burning up in objects are found after they’ve made their Earth’s atmosphere. closest pass by our world, we might not see the Don’t forget Tunguska in 1908, when an one that gets us. Of course, on the plus side, asteroid/meteorite/black hole/UFO blasted an the last close one we spotted a day or two area four times the size of D.C., as spec’d out ahead of time. We just need practice. in 1791. Even more recently, several astrono- The more astronomers observe (and mers in 1999 may have witnessed a Leonid they’re before Congress now telling them what I’m telling you), the more likely they are to spot those pesky PHAs—potentially haz- ardous asteroids—earlier, 30 years or more, preferably. All the better to deflect them, since moving the planet would be a bit ART CREDITS: harder to do. spiketv.com 1 psiphi.org 2 First question second: Look on the msnbc.com 3 bright side—the latest evidence regarding startrek.com 4, the Chicxulub crater off the Yucatan penin- Insert back NVTech 6 sula indicates that the strike was about desktop starships.com 300,000 years before the dinosaurs died off. Insert front Still, it likely did contribute to their demise. Anyway, we’ll likely see something that big Continued on page 6 COMSTAR, page 3 REFLECTIONS: Voyager, UPN’s foundation On Monday night, January 16, 1995, the Piller left. Jeri Taylor became the show United Paramount Network signed on with runner, and nothing would be the same. the newest installment of the Star Trek series, Taylor figured that since The Next Generation Voyager. The fledgling UPN chose the familiar was so loved, making Voyager more like Next Trek name as the flagship of its programming Gen would ensure that Voyager would also be to entice stations across the country to carry loved. In doing so, she removed all conflict what was intended to become the sixth major from the show because there was NO conflict television network. Likewise, Voyager chose on TNG. She made sure each episode was a UPN to be the first network to carry the his- stand-alone show, a sharp contrast from the toric series since the original Star Trek ran on first eight airings that had a distinct arc going NBC. Its immediate predecessors, The Next through them, which she did not like. To her, Generation and Deep Space Nine, initially aired that was DS9’s fatal problem, and she felt story in first-run syndication. arcs just got in the way of storytelling. No Voyager sought to stand apart from the story arcs and no continuity because there other Treks by using a different stage for were none in Next Generation. Sadly, this did storytelling. Not wanting to set yet another NOT work for Voyager. show on board yet another starship in the Next Generation was definitely a sign of its Alpha Quadrant, co-creators Rick Berman, time. It was intelligent, and it leaned toward a Michael Piller and Jeri Taylor met the chal- philosophical attitude of existence. The look lenge head-on by sending the crew farther of the show was like nothing ever seen on than any other Federation starship had television, and the production values were explored—to the uncharted regions of the groundbreaking. But, as were the 1980s, Next Delta Quadrant. This premise would allow Gen was arrogant, egotistical and extremely them to explore new territory, charting new self-important, but back in the day, these was worlds, meeting new races and keeping them considered GOOD things. It was also very away from the Klingons, Romulans and all the non-aggressive, sometimes downright passive, other familiar nuances that come with the a typical ‘80s mentality. Alpha Quadrant. Voyager adopted most of the good things This was a good thing. It kept them from Next Gen had to offer. Its production values wallowing in the too-familiar territory most were incredible, making it not only the best- fans seem to covet. Unfortunately, it didn’t looking show Trek ever produced, but also the completely work out the way they wanted. best-looking show “The Caretaker” was a great beginning, maybe on television, Star Trek’s best pilot, followed by eight very period. The staff good first episodes. Unfortunately, the also adopted TNG’s departure of Michael Piller changed things, general approach to and with him went the semi-story arcs and storytelling. Unfor- crew conflict, leaving Voyager with a great tunately, this didn’t premise but bland and trite execution. work terribly well Technically, Voyager was a well-written in the ‘90s. Viewers show. For the most part, its characters—with had gotten used to the exception of Tuvok—were well defined. their emotions and As in most Trek, with the exception of the intelligence being Original Series, the writers were at a loss about challenged and what to do with Vulcans. Its dialogue was taxed. The absence of conflict made the crisp and never “on the nose,” a common characters seem boring. The avoidance of problem most writers have. Its fatal flaw was controversy and the unwillingness to take in its stories. After the first eight episodes, the chances made for ordinary viewing. These writers were determined to mire themselves things made Voyager seem out of step with the in parables that really only had one way to times, and ordinary is anathema to Star Trek. develop, thus making the shows quite obvious Next month: Voyager gets help from an and predictable. unlikely source. Until then, peace. The series changed dramatically when Conn Officer Lorenzo Heard COMSTAR, page 4 RANTINGS: And who, disguised as a normal person ... The tribe has spoken. The votes are in. Trek movies. The first would be about a civil Well, six anyway. According to the poll, 50 war, the second would be about a galactic percent want to see no changes in the Rant- switchover from fission to fusion, and in the ings column, 33.33 percent want it a lot less third film, Ensign James T. Kirk would show political, and 16.67 percent want it discontin- up in the last 20 minutes. ued and me run out of the club. To para- The good news is that these films do not phrase Benjamin Bradlee, “I knew I had ene- involve Berman and Braga. The bad news is mies, but I didn’t know I was THIS popular.” that these films involve the guys who made Well, guess what? The column WILL go Spy Kids, Inspector Gadget and the Mighty on as it is. But as Rumsfeld says: “I don’t Ducks II and III. # know where, I don’t know when,” but changes YUCK!!!! What the hell are these Para- 50! are inevitable. It will still be political. Some- mount schmucks thinking? Didn’t they learn times I will tone it down; sometimes I will anything from George Lucas’ ultra-lame pre- ratchet it up, but I’ll still be writing the quels Episode I: The Phantom Pain in My Ass column until the PTB in this club stop it or I and Episode II: Attack of the Stoned? What the don’t enjoy doing it anymore. So much for hell do they think we want, Kirk and Spock: the 50th Rantings poll. Stick around for the The Early Years? You want to fork over $10 to next 50. see Star Trek: Jimbo Gets Laid? I sure don’t. Now to refute “the scurrilous lies that If Paramount is hell-bent on pursuing a were written and printed about me” in last dubious concept like this, they should use the month’s Officer Profile … I can’t. There crew from Star Trek: Enterprise. At least we’re aren’t any. I did inhale. Iraq never had WMDs. familiar with them. I did have … . Oh, sorry; wrong platform. And meanwhile, over at the trektoday.com Thanks to the late, great David Brewer for the website, a story has been posted that Enterprise time and effort he took in writing the article. may only get renewed for a 12-episode season. I was amazed that he was able to write two That’s right, now the story comes out that pages about me. I would have thought I’d UPN/CBS may only commit to half a season. given him enough answers for three times that That’s what happened with Boomtown, and many pages. BWAH-HA-HA-HA. that show was gone two weeks into the season. I recently watched the Star Trek: New I have been accused of not being fair to the Voyages episode “Come What May.” Techni- Democratic Party by labeling it no different cally, it’s BRILLIANT. They’ve recreated the than the Republican Party. I wish to amend environs of the original starship Enterprise this. There is a difference between the two perfectly. Some of the actors even resemble parties: The Democrats are incompetent. The their Original Series cast counterparts. One Republicans are evil. Hope that clears it up. notable exception is James Cawley playing And while we’re on the subject, if the James T. Kirk. Sporting hair that makes him Democrats want John Kerry to be taken seri- resemble a bargain-basement Lt. Commander ously as a presidential candidate, then he Kal-El, Cawley underacts his way through the needs to stop letting himself be defined by the role that made an international furniture- Bush/Cheney attack dog machine and go after chewing star out of William (pause, grumble) this bunch, hammer and tongs. This adminis- SHATner. The outer space effects outshine tration has certainly provided its opponents the live-action footage. The script uses with enough ammunition of fraud, waste, warmed-over bits from previous Original corruption, abuse, outright fascism, racism, Series episodes. class warfare, etc. All you have to do is open But even with all these flaws, it still points your eyes and ears and call them on it. Let me up rather dramatically what’s been missing in put it this way: Are YOU better off than you all succeeding Trek series: a strong sense of were four years ago? camaraderie among the characters. Though this be madness, yet there is According to Ain’t It Cool News, Para- method in ’t. COMSTAR, page 5 mount is considering a prequel series of three Officer Peter Chewning CLCLCLUB BIRBIRUB THDTHDTHDAAAYYYS:S:S: For upcoming club COMING EVENTS member birthdays, check out the Cal- APRIL endar section in our April 17 ...... Warmer weather is on the way at last! Don’t miss this month’s Yahoo! Group. meeting! For directions to First Officer Abby Lindstrom’s home in Montgomery Village, Maryland, be sure to check out the insert that is included with this newsletter. And check your e-mail to find out where we’ll be eating dinner before the meeting!

MAY May 22 ...... The May sweeps are almost here! So is the May meeting! Mark your calendar and be there! Check out next month’s newsletter for more details!

JUNE June 19 ...... After a cold spring, it’s great that the summer is nearly here! Let’s enjoy our first meeting of the season! Watch this space for more information in the next few months!

SCIENCE TREK: The sky is falling! continued Continued from page 3 08/space.collision.reut/index.html (CNN’s before it gets here, so maybe we can be some- take); where else, or at least have the chance to do • http://www.planetary.org/html/news/ something. articlearchive/headlines/2001/1178noimpact. So what do we do? Being humans, of html (The Planetary Society’s look at Moon- course, we can’t just sit back and let the thing Monk-gate); wipe some large segment of 5 billion carbon • http://neo.jpl.nasa.gov/neo/pha.html (The units off the face of this small blue-green Program) home of ours, can we? We’d do something • http://impact.arc.nasa.gov/ (Asteroid and about it, damn it! Tune in next month to see comet impact hazards); and just what. • http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4423060/ Web Notes: (The asteroid didn’t do it, film at 11). • http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/space/04/ Second Officer Phil Margolies

HOLODICTATION: Are you being served? “Are you being served?” is a question we good to take it out on everyone else. The only hear from time to time when looking at new thing it accomplishes is to make me look furniture or shopping for clothes or a car. But unprofessional and may even get someone else are we really being served? angry with me. When we call a company for help, are Customer service should not be an oxymo- we really being served? When we have to ron, but instead the number one goal of us all. listen to endless phone menus, are we All of us are in the customer service business, being served? When we have to deal whether we like it or not. We deal with co- with people who don’t know, or don’t workers, customers, friends and family. care, and won’t even try to find someone Wouldn’t it be nice to encounter a pleasant to help us, are we being served? I’m disposition at the drive-thru instead of the always told that my call is being recorded voice of boredom we hear so often? for training and customer service. Don’t I hope we all think of this as we venture they have anyone listening to these calls? through our daily routine, and hopefully, “Are As consumers, we pay these people’s you being served?” will mean more to everyone. salaries. I sometimes think these people don’t Thank you for shopping at Woolworth’s. believe that. If I’m having a lousy day and am Have a nice day. COMSTAR, page 6 angry with a friend or coworker, it does me no Weapons Officer Patrick McBee