1 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 C4345_P -Trade in Print ad copy.pdf 1 2020/09/09 10:32:58

C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

K

2 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 From the beloved country may you have a shana tova and easy fast. May Hashem inscribe all of you for a healthy and prosperous year From the Beloved Country may you have a shana tova and easy fast. May Hashem inscribe all of you for a healthy and prosperous year)

Stan The Good Shabbos Man is a weekly ‘Mishugas’ on the internet www.stantgsm. com …..Which has weathered a GROOOOOT storm along the way, to reach the milestone of 20 years….. What a bobby it has been….It has taken ME AROUND THE WORLD many times, and the 98% positivity towards the letter encourages me to continue, for how long I don’t know….??? It has become such a ‘humungous’ task, to sort through info each week, try and get the most interesting data out that Yidden would like to read, answer the hundreds of personal E-mails a year…..and try and keep everyone happy….

This is the 20th year of the ‘Stan The Good Shabbos Man’ newsletter, which started way back in 2000 when I left Stan & Pete Caterers….It has been a L-O-N-G journey to get here, having written soooooo much over the past 20 years….having passed milestones like the Barmitzvah year and the Chai year ….. When broken down it is a bit ‘Skrikky’….. over 1,000 weekly letters, with an average of 10 pages, which is +/- 10,000 pages, and when broken down into words, not even going there …. Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, that is a lot….and I believe that it has been very well received by Yidden all over, especially Souff Effrikken Yidden, whether they are in Poffadder or New York…….

If I had to gage by replies received every week, I reckon that the ‘Rugger’ has the biggest following, and then the jokes and so on……..The “Vort” each week has proved VERY popular …. I must say that I receive very few ‘Klaps’ , BUT….you cannot please everyone………..

‘ROOTS’ is still a ‘Humungous’ thing on the website, with soooo many Yidden worldwide, ‘Zuching’ (looking) for their Roots, and it is sad how we only start looking when the older generation are already gone, and it makes it harder to trace roots….. I met up with Eli Rabinowitz many years ago, and he has answered many queries on Ancestry, and my regular promoting has got many readers to apply /get their Lithuanian passports, and many other passports…. Lithuania always features on the letter….

The various stories that I write on bring huge responses……I have touched many people seeking all kinds of information, and most I have been able to assist….. Must say that some queries have brought soooo much joy, and the Odd one has brought tears…..

I would like to thank my sponsors (Chavers) for their support, which allows me to print the Yearly Shabbos Newspaper ….. Unfortunately, due to the ‘Gazershe’ Corona Virus, I was not going to do a Yomtov paper, BUT….. I was persuaded to do one, although it is only available ONLINE, as the advertising has dropped immensely…. To Rabbi Yossy Goldman, Sydenham Shul, C/O ‘Beloved Country’ for his weekly inspirational ‘Vort’ which is well received by thousands each week…..and I must say that come ‘hell or high’ water, he gets the ‘Meisa’ to me every week….. Adank Rabbi…..

Looking forward TO MORE ‘Meisa’s’ in the next few years G-D willing…..

Gezunte un Freilache Yom Tov…. (Enjoy and have a GR8888888 Yomtov and well over the fast….)

Stan The Good Shabbos Man www.stantgsm.com / [email protected] It’s so simple to be wise…. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it …….

3 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Wishing all our clients and the Jewish community a safe, healthy, sweet New Year and well over the fast.

Securing Safety and Peace of Mind 24/7 CALL CENTRE: 0861 101 000 www.mantissecurity.co.za

4 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 From the Rabbi ……

By Rabbi David Shaw, Sandton Shul.

Right now, in the prelude to Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, we find ourselves inching our way towards the the end of the book of Deuteronomy. This is the Fifth and final book of the Torah. It consists in the main, of Moshe Rabbeinu’s last words to his beloved people.

It stresses some known Mitzvot, teaches some new ones and reminisces about our ancestors mistakes and failings during the course of the last 40 years while on their way to the promised land.

He basically tells them off, sometimes subtly and sometime quite frankly, quite bluntly. However with all the recounting of our ancestors Rabbi David Shaw misdeeds, the highs and the lows and all the deleterious consequences of their choices, one word in its variant forms appears over and over again.

That word is LOVE! 23 times in Devarim. While looking back, or looking forward, speaking about good times and bad, the overarching theme of the book is love and the message is so clear.

Whatever comes from G d comes in a package wrapped with love. I wish you a sweet, healthy and safe New Year filled with overflowing blessing and of course love. Purim…Rabbi David Shaw with Frans Kekane ,Selwyn Trakman & Doc Pinky Sirelli.

KONICA MINOLTA

Wishing you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR and a meaningful fast. Wishing all our clients and the Jewish community a May your name be printed in the book of life. safe, healthy, sweet New Year and well over the fast.

Securing Safety and Peace of Mind 24/7 CALL CENTRE: 0861 101 000 www.mantissecurity.co.za

www.kmgauteng.co.za konicaminoltagauteng [email protected] 011 312 1155

5 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Looking back on the past 20 years…..

What started out as a exercise to learn how to use a Komputta 20 years ago, I My “ Purim Shpiel” disaster was huge, and I actually got some started sending a weekly Shabbos letter to my family & friends overseas…..For the Seriaaaaaaaas threats…BUT…. I did it, and I learnt that some first 8 years, it was virtually only overseas people reading the letter….. It grew like Souff Effrikken Yidden are very ‘Old fashion’, and this Shpiel did wildfire, as the Politics were Tukka ‘U get what I see” and the Jokes were a ‘Bietjie’ not appeal to a few, which caused huge ‘Garotiss’….. ‘Vuil’ (Rough…). …and each week, more and more people were asking to join the letter….

It became a hobby, and it was very easy to do, as I wrote the weekly Meisa, which was 2/3 pages, and got replies which I did reply to….. Then one day I sat next to a ‘Nudnick’ Hilly at a concert at Linksfield Shul and he got me involved in starting the website and the joke book….. The Hobby had turn 360 degrees, into a very ‘Lebbedikke’ hobby, with me posting up to 10,000 Pichaaaaa’s each year, and the subscribers grew and before I knew it I was getting soooo much correspondence, and I must say that 98% of all personal E-mails were replied to, and the news I receive each week, keeps the stories rolling…..The replies I get these days, are

When I first started my Nephew Ari (Chaim Der Arbeiter) Lyons was 11, and he can draw very well and he created many different sketches for me over the years….. His original thought was that I looked like Stan from South Park, and that was his first creation, and he went on to do many, and they have helped lift the articles and letters…. I have dotted a few here….. When the Bokke were Moered into the turf at Twickenham, I put this article in the Star Death Column.( 26th. November,2002 )

SPRINGBOKS Passed away peacefully, on Saturday, 23rd. November at Twickenham. mainly roots, and info required of long lost Chavers & relatives, and the amount Will be remembered for past GREAT deeds. of people united has been phenomenal….. BUT…..the work load is immense, and The loss of Labuschagnewas a blow ,but should NOT have I sometimes wonder if this is still a hobby, there is soooo much to do….. When caused such a painful ending. you get a query, and don’t answer same day, I get follow up after follow up….. My Our sincerest condolences. first Hobby was stamp collecting while at school, and it also started to turn into a labour intensive hobby, BUT…..I got married and that was that hobby gone……. How long will the letter still goes….??? I have no idea, BUT…..I am nearly at my real STAN’S MANNE. senior years….! ! ! ! ! ! ! I got Ari to do a sketch…..Got a bit of Flack, BUT….it was a sad period in Bok history…. A year after starting, we had 9/11 which was a ‘Moerse‘ learning curve with huge traffic during the event ……. Various Sport World Cups really bring in huge traffic The Corona Virus has Tukka been the biggest Event since I and keep it ‘Lebbedik’……. Have done quite a few fun promotions, like giving out started writing, and has drawn a lot of traffic…. Hopefully on the theatre tickets in Joburg for the best joke of the week sent….. Got a humungous 21st Anniversary please G-D, we will be in a better space…… amount of good jokes…… The Minyan created to send a King David student on a The 20 years has flown and been a ‘Meichel’ with my hobby…. Rugger tour…etc.…..

6 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 A Meisa from ‘Amolikke Yoren’………………

embrace. Tears spilling over each other’s shoulders, the reunion was a Rabbi Tzvi Ashkenazi (“The Chacham Tzvi,” 1658–1718) was known for catharsis of all their pent up despair.Surrounded by miles of foreign land going to extreme lengths to verify that missing men were indeed dead and men who would be all too keen to unsheathe their swords, they before permitting their wives, known as agunot, to remarry. agreed that an escape to Vilna seemed virtually impossible. Instead, the Some point to this story as a reason for his approach: two friends spent their time calculating the Jewish calendar: Shabbats, fast days, and holidays, for the months to come. Reb Yaakov and Reb Moshe spent their days deep in Torah study. Both had married into affluent families, and both possessed the tenacity It was time for Reb Yaakov to head back. He looked around, counted his to bury their heads in their books for hours on end.The thunderous flock, and felt his heart slowly sinking—a few of the sheep were missing, pounding of horses and whoops of cruel delight suddenly spilled into probably gone to explore the hills. Reb Yaakov fought back tears. The Vilna. Tatars, a tribe of nomadic warriors, overran the streets, driving chieftain had warned him long ago that if he ever returned the flock with everyone into hiding. This wasn’t their first encounter with the ruthless fewer numbers, he would pay with his life. warriors; they knew what to expect. By the time the Tatars finished their raid, a great trail of blood and destruction would be left in their wake. Knowing full well the fate that awaited him, Reb Yaakov made Reb Before repairing their property and resuming their lives, the Jews would Moshe swear to ensure he’d be buried jewishly. Though if Reb Yaakov account for their numbers. This time, however, they made a frightening made it out alive by some miracle, the two would return to this very place discovery: two men, Reb Yaakov and Reb Moshe, were nowhere to be and escape to Vilna together. Regarding his friend for what might be the seen. last time, Reb Moshe agreed. Reb Yaakov headed back, dread swelling in his chest with every step. He stood quietly to the side as the chieftain Far away, hands and feet tied, Reb Yaakov and Reb Moshe were brought counted the sheep, wanting nothing more than to disappear into the to the mountainous homeland of their captors and quickly sold to ground. He saw the chieftain’s eyes flash darkly when he discovered the chieftains from neighbouring tribes. They had little hope of ever seeing omission. each other again, much less their families back in Vilna. His large frame moving swiftly, the chieftain advanced on Reb Yaakov, Years passed. Reb Yaakov, now a shepherd, wore a tunic that easily hand on the hilt of his sword. In a sudden, unexpected motion, an identified him as a slave. The words of Torah he had committed to outstretched hand halted the chieftain’s stride. It was another member of memory became his only source of comfort and inspiration.It was a day the tribe, who wanted Reb Yaakov to remain alive. An argument ensued, like any other when he grabbed his walking stick and led his sheep up the which quickly devolved into a scuffle. Swords were drawn, and with a grassy hills. He noticed another shepherd, somewhat familiar-looking, calculated thrust the tribesman felled his chieftain. Reb Yaakov watched with his flock nearby. In a dizzying rush of emotions, Reb Yaakov realized with wide eyes as his ticket to freedom materialized before him. When it was his friend Reb Moshe, and tripped over his feet in his hurry to the other tribesman exited the tent, leaving the body on the floor, Reb

7 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 A Meisa from ‘Amolikke Yoren’cont………………

Yaakov dropped to his knees and began to disentangle the chieftain from eve of the wedding. Gaunt and disheveled, he blended in with the city’s his clothing. Working quickly lest his attempt to escape be discovered, poor who had arrived for the customary meal. His father-in-law, clearly Reb Yaakov donned the chieftain’s robe and covered the body with his in good spirits, began making the rounds with a purse, handing each own tunic. From a distance, it would be hard to identify him as a slave. impoverished guest one coin. When he came to Reb Yaakov—who was He slipped into the pitch-black darkness and disappeared into the unrecognizable due to his skeletal figure and ragged clothes—Reb Yaakov now-familiar mountains. Reb Moshe waited for his friend for three returned the coin and shook his head. days, and with painful realization concluded that Reb Yaakov must have Relationships been killed. After a short trip to Reb Yaakov’s tribe, he found the body “Is it because you’re a Torah scholar and a coin is unbecoming? I meant succumbing to rot under a mound of dirt, wrapped in the tunic he knew no disrespect,” said the father-in-law. to be his friend’s. Per his Reb Yaakov’s last wishes, Reb Moshe reburied Reb Yaakov nodded. him in a proper Jewish fashion. “Tell me, please, a Torah novelty then,” asked the father-in-law. Reb Yaakov nodded again and proceeded to share a Torah piece he had On his way back, a carriage passed Reb Moshe, and in the window he authored and said at his own wedding many years prior. spotted a face he recognized from long ago—a relative of his father. Spurring his legs to run faster, Reb Moshe waved his hands madly, The father-in-law felt a shiver go right up his spine. “Tell me more…” shouting for the driver to stop. He panted out an introduction, and, Reb Yaakov obliged and shared the Torah thought he prepared on the looking like he’d seen a ghost, the relative helped him into the carriage, night of his engagement. Eyes bulging, the father-in-law looked deeply quickly whisking him away. Reb Moshe felt certain that fulfilling Reb into the strange guest’s eyes and recognized his long-lost son-in-law. Yaakov’s last request had merited him his safe escape. His return to Vilna In tears, the two collapsed into each other’s arms, united after so was bittersweet. While everyone celebrated seeing Reb Moshe alive many years. The wedding was cancelled and the feast became one of after so many years, the news of Reb Yaakov’s death dampened the joy. thanksgiving—a seudat hodaah. Reb Yaakov and his wife bore a child, To further clear any halachic complications, Vilna’s greatest rabbis grilled Tzvi, who later gained renown as the Chacham Tzvi—bold and upstanding REnEwal Reb Moshe about his friend’s death and he answered every question to rabbi of several European communities. their satisfaction. “Farmer Berger” in Lichtenberg, went up to his shepherd and asked His testimony finally freed Reb Yaakov’s wife from the status ofan him if he counted the sheep when he put them into the Kraaaal for the Everywhere in the world, people are agunah and she was allowed to remarry. After traversing thousands of night…??? miles, haggard by travel’s hardships, Reb Yaakov felt a bounce in his step re-evaluating what it means to have as he began to place the scenery around him. He wasn’t far from Vilna He answered, yes there were 40 .Impossible said “Farmer Berger”, we now. The relief, however, didn’t last long. Disturbing rumors that his wife only had 37 to start with …. I know said the herdsman, BUT…..I rounded relationships that are trusting and was about to remarry shook him to the core. He arrived in Vilna on the it o’ff…….

.supportive, in good times and bad ב״ה The same too of businesses like ours. We go into a future with a renewed understanding of the value of human connections, of real friendship and the capacity for caring. To our clients, friends and colleagues we wish you Shanah Tova. MISSING SHUL? DON’T MISS THIS CALL.

If you or anyone you know can’t get to shul on Rosh Hashanah due to age or illness, we will send a volunteer to blow for you/them.

Scan the above QR Code using your cellphone camera or WhatsApp us on 066 023 3121. Tony & Karmen chabadsouthafrica.org My Barber for 48 years!

8 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Relationships

REnEwal

Everywhere in the world, people are re-evaluating what it means to have relationships that are trusting and supportive, in good times and bad. The same too of businesses like ours. We go into a future with a renewed understanding of the value of human connections, of real friendship and the capacity for caring. To our clients, friends and colleagues we wish you Shanah Tova.

9 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 YOU CAN’T TAKE OUT OF THE HEART OF AN EX-PAT

The Chevrah Kadisha is appealing to our SA expat friends for help The good news is that we are registered in the USA, UK, Canada and during these unprecedented times. We know South Africa has Australia with tax-deductible donation conduits, which will make this always remained close to your hearts. We see it in the connections a more viable option for you: you maintain with us and the support with which you sustain us. It seems true that you can take a person out of South Africa, but you USA: Visit ChaiSouthAfrica & select Chevrah Kadisha can never take South Africa out of a person who once lived here. (www.chaisouthafrica.com/donate-now) UK: Visit Eurochai (www.eurochai.com) & select Chevrah Kadisha or We are fully aware that Covid-19 has impacted communities visit Achisomach (https://bit.ly/31zjumh) throughout the world and that many are struggling. While we don’t Canada: Contact CAFSACK ([email protected]) want to detract from your local responsibilities we wish to point out Australia: Visit The Chai Foundation (https://chai.org.au/product/ that the situation in SA is unique for the following five reasons: chev/)

1. State funding for the Jewish community is insignificant, especially For those who may not be familiar with the work of the as it applies to the elderly, frail and disabled. Unlike other Western Chevrah Kadisha, we have been taking care of the welfare and burial countries where governments have stepped up to supplement and needs of Jews in Johannesburg since 1888. With humble beginnings support NGOs, this is not the case here. as a burial society, today over 95% of our activities are directed 2. Ours is an ageing community and many of our largest donors have toward the living. As the largest Jewish welfare organisation on the emigrated, making local fundraising increasingly challenging. At the African continent we offer assistance to almost a quarter of the same time we are the community safety net. Without us, people Jewish community. have nowhere else to turn. 3. We have a hugely disproportionate number of people who are We rely on donations to meet 70% of our annual budget of R300 welfare-dependent, compared with Jewish communities elsewhere million (US$16.6 million) and distribute funds to the poor for food, in the world. rent, education and healthcare. In addition we house close to 1,000 4. Many amongst our aged residents and welfare recipients have no residents in our aged homes, disabilities centres and child care family in this country and while the local community does its best to facilities - www.jhbchev.co.za. Please spread the word amongst assist, the needs are growing and the problems are increasing. your friends and families overseas who may be able to find space 5. Your foreign currency exchange rate has an enormous impact on in their hearts and capacity in their wallets to help our small Jewish us. If every expat would consider making even a small monthly or community on the tip of Africa. Thank you and may you and your annual contribution, that would translate into significant funds for us. families be blessed with a good and sweet new year! fruit jweish report 198 (w) x 300 (h) food add copy.pdf 1 8/17/2020 10:59:42 AM

BLESS THE NEW YEAR WITH LIQUID GOLD

This is your opportunity to C make a difference that M

Y matters. There are over CM 660 Jewish families in MY

CY our community who do CMY not have the means to K celebrate the New Year without your help. Together we can provide them with a rich and plentiful Rosh Hashanah.

DONATE TOWARDS YOM TOV FOOD PARCELS

EVERYONE DESERVES A SWEET NEW YEAR

DONATE NOW

Banking Details: Yad Aharon & Michael, Nedbank, Call: 011 485-2076 or 011 640-2106 Branch Code: 151105, Account Number: 1911087363,

Ref: Your full name/RHYK Danlee 08/13/01020 10 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 SUPPORTING THE CHEVRAH KADISHA FROM AFAR

Now more than ever, South African Jewry need your support

To make a tax deductible donation in:

USA: Visit ChaiSouthAfrica and select Chevrah Kadisha (https://www.chaisouthafrica.com/donate-now)

UK: Visit Eurochai (https://www.eurochai.com) and select Chevrah Kadisha or visit Achisomach (https://bit.ly/31zjumh)

Canada: Contact CAFSACK ([email protected])

Australia: Visit The Chai Foundation (https://chai.org.au/product/chev/)

Account Name: Johannesburg Jewish Helping Hand/ JJHH – MAIN | Bank: Standard Bank JHB MAXI DISCOUNT KOSHER Branch Code: 000 205 I Account Number: 000 154 253 | Swift Code: SBZAZAJJ | Use your full Butchery, Sandringham name and surname as a reference & kindly notify us at [email protected] *Please note there is no IBAN in South Africa* ‘Kosher’ Strip.... Now also the best ‘Chix’ in town

Tel: (011) 485-1485 www.jhbchev.co.za GR888888888888 ‘Biltong + Boeries’, Dry Wors…

11 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Die “LIG VAN LICHTENBURG” ……….

Lichtenburg is a small “dorpie” in the ‘OU’ Western Transvaal, now known and Ezra & Lel are between Lichtenberg & Joburg…. as North West province….. It is between Mafeking and Ventersdorp. (Not that anyone knows where it is). The Jewellers were the Kopel brothers, Chick & Hymie. ‘Chick’ passed on a few years ago, and Hymie is in America…. Chick has 3 Kinderlach , and Whenever someone meets a Lichtenburger, the first thing they usually his Zunnelle Roland sits next to me in Sandton Shul, with one daughter say is NOT where is it ??? BUT ...... Oh, you are the “Lig Van in Oz and the other in London …. Lichtenburg”.(the light of Lichtenburg). Most Lichtenburgers reply, Yes, better than being from Kakamas or Kokstad. Yes there is a real dorp The Bioscope/movies/ flic house was run by Cyrli Pastoll and they had called Kakamas, and the Rev Allan Boesak comes from there (Oy vy). a daughter Rhonda who passed away a few Years ago. The flour mills were owned by the Connell & Isabel Shawinsky …..They had 2 daughters Soooooooo, now you know all there is to know about Lichtenburg. Chantal & Arlene was at school with me….. The General dealers were Not quite At the turn of the century (1900’s) there was rumoured to be run by the ‘Goldberg ‘ family. ‘Hilka’ and Freda and Issy & Monica…. They about a 1,000 diamond prospectors searching the surrounding diggings both had a 2 kids boy/girl…. Aubrey is in Australia and his Schvester like Bakerville...... etc. who were Jewish. The town was booming and Andrea passed away a few months ago….Alan & Dianne stay in Joburg….. that led to the settlement of a lot of Jewish families in Lichtenburg. In Lichtenburg timbers was run by the late Meyer Altshuler & Kallie Plehn, the early sixties, there must have been 70 families, and the “dorp” was Meyer passed away many years ago, and his wife Rae moved to Joburg, run by Yidlach. where she passed away….They had two Kinderlach, Merle & Brian…. Brian passed away a few years ago, and was in my Class at school…. The Shul was the focal point of the Jewish congregation, and I remember the Rabbi was Rabbi (Robbie) Abrahamson. The Shull attracted Yidlach Late Kallie & Sarah Plehn made Aliyah many years ago, and Sarah turns from surrounding ‘dorps’ like Sannieshof, Coligny etc. It was thriving…. 100 soon. They had two girls Roche & Ruth….Ruth passed away a few BUT...... like in most country towns, it dwindled to very little, and years ago, and Roche stays with her Mom in Ranananafontein. today the Shul is gone and an era is slowly being forgotten. Instead of boring you with “Amolikke Yoren” (historical) data, which I am not The clothes shop was run by the Kotzen “Broers”. ‘Uppie’ & Max….Both 100% clear on, here is a look at the families I remember and a few of the have passed on….Nita Stays in Joburg and they had 4 Kinderlach….. siblings……There were OTHERS, BUT….These are the ones I remember…… Howard in Oz, Larry Joburg and 2 daughters, Caron & Lana …Max & Zelda had 3 kids, Barbara, Clive & Gary…. Barbara is in Seattle, married The Doctor was ‘Oooom’ Solly Shapiro, who passed away a few years to Lester Cohen, my Chaver Dennis’s brother The butcher, Mannie ago. He really gave a mean injection but was dearly loved by all,’ boer Smookler, my late dad, supplied all the kosher meat for the area….and en jood’.. .He was married to Mickey and they had 3 Kinderlach…Toby my Mom ran the Welkom bottle store…. I stay in Joburg, and my ‘Boetie’ (Serman) , Reeve & Naomi….Tobi & Reeve have passed on…Solly & Reeve were Head Boys @ Potch Boys High….. His sister Sarah Sher was also Hilton passed away in Joburg 4 months ago …. there and her late husband Louis and ran a general dealers near the The Kletz and Cowan families owned the Volkswagen agency. All the township….. They had two Zunnelle’s, Mike & Cecil…..Mike passed away parents have passed away, and Bertram and Ruth Cowan’s son , Malcolm a year ago, and Cecil lives in Slaaaaaaapstad…. still works at the Molopo river, as a developer, and their other Zunnelle Lennie stays in Joburg…... Jack & Francis Kletz passed on many years The Chemist was Sonny Cooper and his wife Marlene, who have passed ago, and had 3 Kinderlach, Paul in London, Mavis in Oz & Selwyn in away in the last few years…..They had 5 Kinderlach…….Ingrid, Beverley Canada……. , Clifford & Robyn stay in Joburg and Glenn is a dentist in London… Marlene’s Parents Late Sonny Bregr & Dolly were also there for a while Issy & Millie Kletz had 3 Kinderlach Basil, Mike & Shelley….. Shelly & Mike The farmer was the Late Rubin Berger, who was a man of the earth. His have passed on and Basil is in Joburg…Has his Bok colours for Ironman/ son Ezra, one of my good friends, still farms in Lichtenburg. Rubin’s wife Triathlete Phil & Ruby Kletz had 3 kids…Stephen, Peter & Shani…The Sarah made Aliyah in her 90’s and passed away a year ago….The had 3 Cohen family owned the garage, Mealie Belt motors, Jerry & Helen, and Kinderlach, Ezra, Beile & Hilary….Hilary stays in Israel and Beile in Joburg, they had two Kinderlach….Lynne and Ivor and they have all passed on…..

Back; Back ; Ruth Plehn, Paul Kletz, Hilton Smookler, Ivor Cohen, Mike Kletz, Ezra Berger ??, Phyllis Nochumowitz Middle; Lynn Cohen ,Beile Berger , Naomi Shapiro , Dianne Goldberg, Rhonda Pastoll , Stan Smookler Front; Alan Goldberg , Beverley & Ingrid Cooper, Brian Altshuler, Malcolm Cowan, Bobby Heilbrunn??

12 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 The Nafte family. Isaac & Abe also had various businesses in the area. Percy & Rhoda Friedberg had two daughters, Miriam & XXXXX … Miriam is in Joburg and Reeva has passed on …. D Joe Noche and his Boet Harry Nocumowitz…. Harry in later years married Hennie Berkowitz, John Berk’s Mom …..Harry had 2 kids Late Rolley and Phyllis ….. Harry Zevin was the fishmonger …What a Lovely man Morris & Molly Kanerak had 3 Zunnelle’s David & Keith is high specialized Drs in the USofA …Robert is a lawyer in Joburg…. Benny Datt had Western Garage and had 3 kids Charlie, David & Zoe…. All 3 have passed on…. Had an E-mazing house… Abe Melman owned the Langrish Hotel……. Victor & Maureen Brust, had a son Jack….in Krugersdorp now…. Quite a few families were in and out…The Rozowsky’s, Kangisser’s, Bands, Katz, Gilinsky etc…..

Lichtenburg had no English High School, and most of the kids ended up at Potch Boys & Girls High. Quite a few went on to be Head prefects. A few of the kids went to the High school in Lichtenburg. The achievements of this small town’s Jewish community is endless..... andI hope a few will write in and add to the “Lig of Lichtenburg” story.

In later years, Lichtenburg became known, as gamblers from Joburg wouldTravel through to get to the Mmbatho Sun, near Mafeking. Besides the diamonds in the early days, it is well known for the Whites Cement factory, which was one of the biggest, and for the Cheese factory. The cemetery was desecrated and the culprits caught. The Country districts Rabbi, Moshe Silberhaft did a re dedication….. I was there 6 months ago for Ruby Kletz’s funeral and it was in good condition….. BUT….Lichtenberg itself has deteriorated terribly…. I have included two pictures from our Cheder days in Lichtenberg +/- 1960…… Eishhhhhhhhh, that’s 60 years ago, and a lot of the names mentioned are in the photo’s….I have written a lot on Lichtenberg in the past 20 years, as it was ‘Der Heim’ for me and I have fond memories…

WE LEAD, OTHERS FOLLOW. WWW.LAZ.CO.ZA 012 678 0000 [email protected]

13 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 SHANA TOVA May the shofar signal a new year of health and prosperity

The DEGREE of Difference [email protected] 36one.co.za

14 15 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 16 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Jokes……

The board of the synagogue was having a meeting With a fatherly smile, the synagogue on the holidays and about the Rabbi’s new contract. salesman said, took care of my family.”St. Peter The president finally came out and said, “Rabbi, we “One of the best ways tells her to step to the right. can give you the new house, the new car and the to protect a wedding She immediately asks him, “ $20,000 raise, but we can’t give you the new Tallis.” ring is to soak it in Why did you tell me to go The Rabbi said, “What--you give me all those other dishwater three to the right and you told things and can’t give me a new Tallis-- why?” times a day. the other two women “Because,” replied the President, “those fringe to go to the left?” St. benefits will kill us!” ( Oy………..) If you love Peter replies, “Well, something, set it don’t you want to go Cohen: “How are you feeling today?” free. to the beauty salon Levy : “Oy vey! I tell you ... I’ve got so many aches If it comes back, first?” and pains, if I get a new one today, it will have to it was and always wait two weeks before I can even worry about it!” will be yours. Back in the 1950’s, If it never returns, on one of those days Van der Merwe’s wife came home just in time to find it was never yours to when the temperature her husband Koos in bed with another woman. begin with. was way below zero, an With super-human strength, borne of fury, and If, however, it just sits in announcement was made cutting calves, she dragged him down the stairs,out your living room, messes in a small USSR village, of the the back door, and into the tool shed out back of up your stuff, eats your food, arrival of a fresh supply of meat. the house. uses your telephone, takes your The inhabitants, bundled from toe to She put his manhood in a vice, and then secured it money,and never appears to have head with heavy coats and blankets, ran tightly and removed the handle. noticed that you actually set it free in the first as fast as they could to stand in line in front of the Next she picked up an old carpenter’s saw. The place, you either married it or gave birth to it! market. banged up Koos was terrified, and hollered, “Stop! Stop! You’re not going to cut it off with that A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face After a long hour, they finally saw a man coming out rusty damn saw, are you?” all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the of the shop, with the following announcement: The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all “Comrades, I regret to advise you, that there is not saw in her husband’s hand and said, the other bats smelled the blood & began hassling enough meat for everybody. All the Jews in line “Nope. I’m going to set this old shed on fire, and go to him about where he got it. must leave.” Unhappy, a group of Jews left the line. town for a cold beer. He told them to bugger off off & let him get some Another hour passed, and the same man came out You do whatever you want!!!” ( Eishhhhhhhhhhh….) sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in. again: “Comrades,” he says,“I regret to advise you “OK, follow me”, he said & flew out of the cave that there isn’t enough meat for everybody. Those While ferrying workers back and forth from an with hundreds of Excited bats behind him. Down who are not members of the Communist Party must offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power and went through a valley they went, across a river & into a leave.” down. Fortunately, it landed safely in the water. huge forest. Some more people left the line, disgustedly. Struggling to get out, one man tore off his seat belt, Finally he slowed down & all the other bats excitedly Another hour passed, and the man came out again: inflated his life vest, and jerked open the exit door. milled around him, tongues hanging out for blood. “Comrades,” he says, “I regret to advise you that “Don’t jump!” the pilot yelled. “This thing is supposed “Do you see that large oak tree over there?” he there is not enough meat for everybody in line. to float!” asked. Those who were not members of the Party prior to As the man leapt from the helicopter into the “YES, YES, YES!!!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy. 1956 must leave the line.” water, he yelled back, “Yeah, and the damn thing is “Good for you!” said the bat, “Because I didn’t!!!.” ( A group of young people left the line, disgruntled. supposed to FLY too!” Ag Neeeeeeeeeee……) Now, there were only a few old people left in the line. My Yiddisher Mamma says we must give back All A Catholic woman, a Protestant woman and a Jewish Another hour passed, with the temperature occupied territories, BUT….we will never give back woman die and go to heaven. dropping lower and the day getting darker. The man New York…… St. Peter meets them at the gate to heaven. came out again: The Catholic woman says,” I’ve been a good wife and A young bride and groom to be had just selected mother, I took good care of my family and I want to “Comrades,” he says, “I’m sorry to advise you that their wedding rings. go to heaven. St. Peter tells her to go to the left. we have no meat at all. All of you can go home.” As the young lady admired the plain platinum and The Protestant woman says,” I’ve been a good One old woman then turns to the one behind her: diamond band she had chosen for woman. I kept my house clean and cooked and took “See that”? she says, herself, she suddenly looked concerned. care of myfamily, and went to church every Sunday.” “The Jews, they always get preferential treatment.” “Tell me,” she asked the rather elderly salesman, St. Peter tells her to step to the left. ( Mmmmmmmm not sure the Kaylikka’s will get “is there anything special I’ll have to do to take care The Jewish woman tells St. Peter,” I’ve been a good it…???) of this ring?” woman, I made Shabbat every Friday, I went to the

17 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 I Remember……….

When growing up ‘Amolikke Yoren” I stayed in Lichtenburg, Western Transvaal, and it was My Boet Hilton and I…. We had our 3 favourite ‘Cuzzies’ in Joburg…. Sarge (Norman ) ,Sheila & Irvine Weitzman….. We were always together with the ‘Weitzman’s’ making that L-O-N-G trip all the way to Lichtenburg for holidays and Jewish holidays…..

My Late Dad had the butcher, and when Sarge was in his late Teens, he used to catch the train from Joburg which was an 8 hour trip, and come AN EXTENSIVE RANGE OF PASTURE, spend the holidays with us, and used to get up at 5.00am to go and work in the butchery….The Meisa’s were many about hanging the ice FORAGE & FIELD CROP SEEDS cold biltong up early in the morning….The Merino Butchery was the first to help support your farming operation to vacuum pack Biltong and they used to produce it by the ton….. ® Improve your yield with Agricote - coated seeds that offers better seed-to-soil contact and Sarge made many friends in Lichtenburg, and he used to always go and improved survival of seedlings through added nutrition. ‘hunt’ in the ‘Vlei’ with Dickie Pretorius and other Chavers……. He loved My Boet and I watched /played soooo much sport over the years, and Lichtenburg, and when I started Stan & Pete Caterers he joined me as a we went 3 seasons without missing a Highlands Park game at Balfour partner in 1978, the day after I got married….and we worked together Park…… We would travel to Potch for the opening of many Rugger tours, for the next 25 years…… Sarge then moved with his family to Oekland, as you could always get tickets, Loftus, many, many times and in 2000 New Zealand, where he lived until he passed away just on a year ago we went on a Tri Nations Rugger Tour to NZ & OZ….. The many week- (76) ….. It was very sad as I could not get there, and was hoping to go for ends we spent at the Wanderers with the family & Cuzzies was E-maz- the Unveiling, BUT….along came the Virus, soooo I was going to watch ing, and my Boet became a Cricket statistician supreme, and could rattle on Zoom and that week then re-introduced new restrictions, with Covid off Gary Kirsten’s who career and Kallis was not far behind….. Will miss coming Back….. him when watching sport….In the Old Days we used to get up at 4.00am to watch the All Black tests, and polish off a large crate of Naartjies We spent MANY holidays together and 3 years ago we were all in Toron- and baie Biltong & Droe wors….. The two of us were Tukka experts on to for his Nephew Kevin’s Chasene and we spent two weeks together….. ‘Naaaaartjies’…….. Rest well ‘Boetie’ …Miss him like Crazy……. Sarge was a CA SA and in later years, took up Golf in ‘Oekland’ and be- came the Seniors Nomad champ He was known all over as ‘Sarge’ and my Late Mom always said he got the name from the Sad Sack comics, as the Sarge had a ‘Boep’, BUT…..his Chavers say they named him Sarge, as he was their Hero & saviour….. He ruled in Observatory/Cyrildene in the 50/60’s…… It has been a sad Farewell to someone I grew up with and worked with for soooo years ….So long my Good Chaver & Cuzzie…..

When my Boet was 14 he developed Rheumatic Fever (Hole in Heart) and in those days he lay at the Lady Dudley hospital in Hillbrow, for 6 months on his back and was not allowed to move….That was the treat- ment for it 55 years ago, and our Dr Norman Leiman treated him for many years afterwards…. He battled with his heart for most of his life, and 15 years ago had an Aorta & Pulmonary valve replacement, which was a massive op, and had to have the first of many Pacemakers put in….. At the start of Covid he was admitted to Hospital and for 3 weeks I could not see him, came out and passed away 2 days later ( 69), and we had a Covid Funeral with few people there…. He Tukka suffered for most of his life, and is now at peace …. To lose two of my closest in a AVAILABLE SEED: Teff • Babala • Forage Sorghum • White Buffalo Grass* year has been very difficult, BUT….we must carry on…. • Blue Buffalo Grass* • Bristle Grass* • Smuts Finger Grass* • Rhodes Grass* • Eragrostis* • Bermuda* • Kikuyu* • Paspalum* • Cowpea • Dolichos Bean • Lucerne* • Vetch • Clover • Cocksfoot • Rye Grass • Rye • Oats • Japanese Radish • Open Pollinated Maize • Ground Nut • Dry Bean • Grain Sorghum • Sunhemp *Agricote treated seeds

Johannesburg: 8 Jacobs Street, Chamdor, Krugersdorp, South Africa, 1740 Tel: +27 11 762 5261 • Fax: +27 11 762 4111

Hatzolah Medical Rescue JHB @HatzolahSA @hatzolahsa : Tel: +27 21 552 0456 • KwaZulu-Natal: Tel: +27 33 346 0639

29 Durham Street, Raedene Tel (Office): 0860 100 101, [email protected], www.hatzolah.co.za [email protected] • www.agtfoods.co.za Stan & my Late ‘Cuzzie’ Sarge (Norman) Weitzman & ‘Boetie’ Hilton

18 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Generic ad (2020) SA GRAIN (285x210mm).indd 1 2020/02/06 17:01 AN EXTENSIVE RANGE OF PASTURE, FORAGE & FIELD CROP SEEDS to help support your farming operation ® Improve your yield with Agricote - coated seeds that offers better seed-to-soil contact and improved survival of seedlings through added nutrition.

AVAILABLE SEED: Teff • Babala • Forage Sorghum • White Buffalo Grass* • Blue Buffalo Grass* • Bristle Grass* • Smuts Finger Grass* • Rhodes Grass* • Eragrostis* • Bermuda* • Kikuyu* • Paspalum* • Cowpea • Dolichos Bean • Lucerne* • Vetch • Clover • Cocksfoot • Rye Grass • Rye • Oats • Japanese Radish • Open Pollinated Maize • Ground Nut • Dry Bean • Grain Sorghum • Sunhemp *Agricote treated seeds

Johannesburg: 8 Jacobs Street, Chamdor, Krugersdorp, South Africa, 1740 Tel: +27 11 762 5261 • Fax: +27 11 762 4111

Cape Town: Tel: +27 21 552 0456 • KwaZulu-Natal: Tel: +27 33 346 0639 [email protected] • www.agtfoods.co.za

19 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Generic ad (2020) SA GRAIN (285x210mm).indd 1 2020/02/06 17:01 2021/5780: A Year of Ups and Downs

A new Board For A New Chapter We also selected a competitive dance team to compete in our Following a constitutional review in order to optimise our services, a Memorandum inaugural Jewish Community Centres (JCC) Games for teens, of Incorporation was adopted in 2019 and a new Board of Directors was elected taking place in San Diego, USA in July 2020. at the November AGM: Clifford Garrun (Chairman), Leslie Cohen (Treasurer), Ros Goldin, Desmond Hyman, Brad Kaftel, Ashley Kotzin, Lawrence Sacke and David In February, Maccabi SA Rugby once again delivered an Silverman (WP). impressive performance at the Cape Town 10s, with a “I am confident we have achieved the best structure, together with a talented resounding victory in the quarter final, winning 26-5. They then group of leaders whose credibility, knowledge and experience can provide the narrowly lost in the Plate Semi-Final, 10-7. The young squad, strategic direction to deliver a commercially viable and sustainable community sponsored by Forwardzone, was managed and coached by our sports organisation into the future,’’ said Garrun. Rugby Convenor Brad Berger, assisted by Jon Biderman-Pam. Mervyn Tankelowitz, who served as Maccabi SA President from 2010-2019, The Maccabi Player of the Tournament was UCT’s Tom Walker, moved into a new consultancy role as emissary to Maccabi World Union (MWU), whose father Brett was in the powerful SA team that won gold where his network of friendships will be very valuable. at the 1989 Maccabi Games.

Fast Out The Blocks… … But Covid-19 Moved the Goalposts

Maccabi SA began the year on a high with a series of youth events. Our Youth Covid-19 changed our lives immeasurably - all our events were Committee then attended the Habonim and Bnei Akivah camps where we once cancelled, sponsorships frozen and the world was put on hold. again sponsored sports equipment and organised tournaments, which have However, we used the lockdown period productively to digitally become a popular feature of the machanot. connect with our community and reach new audiences. Maccabi SA’s Sports Director, Jarred Gronemann then attended the Maccabi CEO Forum in Israel, which serves to connect Maccabi professionals from all over the We started with a weekly PowerBrain Quiz, in association world to share best practices and build strong relationships across the territories. with mentalist Michael Abrahamson, and then launched a very In January, we launched our commercial partnership programme via a campaign competitive Maccabi FIFA20 eSports Championship, with the in the SA Jewish Report (SAJR). It has always been our goal to attract commercial two finalists invited to participate in an intercontinental Maccabi investment and our planning has paid off, as we have created an appealing tournament. Our thanks to Kappa for sponsoring prizes for both environment for sponsors to partner with us. We warmly welcome Action Sports, events. Bidvest, DJ Coaching, Forwardzone, Garrun Group, Hatfield Motor Group and Kappa to the Maccabi family and look forward to sharing our sporting journey We took part in various webinars and panels, including MWU’s with them. Yom HaShoah service and then Yom Ha’atzmaut celebrations. Cliff Garrun took part in a sports panel hosted by SAJR and In January we also began the 18 month countdown to the 2021 Maccabi Games. in July we were part of a worldwide Maccabi service that We were thrilled to see the interest and excitement in the community and were commemorated those Jews that have lost their lives to Covid- planning on entering 22 sports, with possibly one of our biggest delegations to 19. For Mandela Day, we collected sports equipment for date. underprivileged sports teams, and Maccabi Western Province donated face shields to CSO in support of the valuable work The Board appointed a Games Committee whose mandate is to ensure we take they do. a competitive and well prepared team to Israel. We are delighted that Farrell Cohen was elected as Team Maccabi SA’s Head of Delegation. A respected Maccabiah 2022 – Are You Game? physiotherapist, Cohen has served on the medical team at four Maccabiah and we are very fortunate to have a person of his calibre lead the delegation. ‘’I am The postponement of the Summer Olympics to July 2020, overjoyed and deeply honoured. I am looking forward to a productive, fun and which would have been at the same time as the Maccabiah, exciting journey ahead. One that will make Team Maccabi SA, our community and resulted in the wise decision to reschedule the Games. This country proud,’’ said Cohen. allows countries to compete alongside Israeli Olympic athletes but also, as the pandemic continues, is more feasible in terms Maccabiah team trials kicked off in Jo’burg and Cape Town in February, and the of preparation. excellent turnout, enthusiasm and level of competition were all positive indicators of the potential strength of Team SA. The 21st Maccabiah will now take place in 2022 and we look

Maccabi SA Board of Directors: (L-R) David Silverman, Lawrence Sacke, Des Hyman, Les Cohen (right, 2017 HoD) hands over the baton to Farrell Les Cohen, Cliff Garrun, Ros Goldin (absent: Brad Kaftel, Ashley Kotzin) Cohen, 2022 Team Maccabi SA Head of Delegation.

20 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 forward to marching into the Opening Ceremony on 14th July, flying our SA flag with pride. We are #TeamMaccabiSA22.

85th Anniversary of Maccabi SA – Kol Ha Kavod

The difficult economic climate is a challenge but as we emerge from lockdown and find our feet, we are optimistic that we will be able to kick off planning for the Maccabiah as well as return to our regular programme of events as soon as legislation allows. In 2021, we celebrate our 85th anniversary. Since our small team of 19 athletes first marched into the stadium for the 2nd Maccabiah, we have been proudly South African, proudly Jewish and proudly Zionist. Maccabi SA has been deeply rooted in the community for over eight decades and we look forward to continuing to deliver a valuable service to the community with purpose and passion.

We wish you a Shanah Tovah Umetukah.

DOMESTIC • Car & Home • General Liability • Asset All Risk

AGRICULTURE • Crop • Assets • Vine • Weather Bnei Akivah soccer tourno, organised by Maccabi SA Youth Committee, Dec 2019 COMMERCIAL • Marine • Body Corporate • Sectional Title • Contract Works • Professional Indemnity • Cyber Risk Insurance

SPECIALISED • Specialised Liability • Travel Maccabi SA Rugby team at Cape Town 10’s, Feb 2020 • ProCycle Insurance • Film Producers • Indemnity & Weather Day

CYBER SECURITY SOLUTIONS The rapid pace of technological advancements means digital platforms are the lifeblood of many businesses. But every organisation that has an online presence is vulnerable to the severe consequences of a cyber incident.

www.garrun-group.co.za Herzlia’s Grade 9 soccer girls have taken up futsal, with the ultimate goal of competing in the Maccabiah. Authorised Financial Services Providers 21 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Corona Virus- Covid 18-The Never Ending ‘Meisa’

The past year will be remembered forever……Not because we had the World Cup, and the ‘Bokke’ won ‘Nogall’…BUT….. The Coronavirus, which The Chevra Kadisha and their staff at West Park must be commended changed every single person on earth’s way of living….What a disaster it for the way they handled funerals under some VERY tough conditions has been…… …. During some stages, funerals went up four fold, and they handled the situation very well….. I was unfortunate to bury my ‘Boetie’ during April, Who would ever have thought that World travel would stop, and people and they were beyond helpful, and you don’t get the care/service like would be confined to their living quarters for long stretches of time…???? our ‘Manne’ give anywhere in the world….. With the Pandemic the Chev In The ‘Beloved Country’ we were a ‘Bissel’ lucky, as we only received moved quickly to isolate the elderly in all the homes, BUT…..the virus still the first few cases well after some countries and the result was that we got in, and was very well handled, and they have really tried to keep the were not hit as hard as some of the European/Eastern bloc countries….. older folk as comfortable as possible……

There have been soooo many Experts giving their views on the For the first 5 months of the Virus, things have been a ‘Tummel’ with Pandemic worldwide and as many of those that there were, there were nothing being what we normally do….and the closing of Shul’s was lifted an equal amount of conspiracy theories…. And it has been very difficult BUT…..on expert advice, the openings were held back a while and have to determine what is the best way to avoid getting the Chasershe virus…. started opening gradually with only 50 people at a time…. Methinks that Some said gloves, others said Absoluuuuuuuuuutly not, and with every Yidden must be careful, and Tukka research before getting involved in statement came 10 counter statements and in the end, Methinks that Minyanim… Older members should not rush into going, as the danger is those with ‘Shiechel’ came out the best….. There have been many ups greater, and as the schools start with limited access, more care must be and downs, and of course among the Yiddisher community, things like taken by US Bobba’s & Zaida’ s, as the thought is that it does not really Funerals, visiting family in far off places, not going to Shul were major effect the Kinderlach, BUT…..They become carriers….. This pandemic is factors….. far from over, and Methinks that the Beloved Country has done quite well in their handling of the pandemic, that is besides the ‘Gunovim’ who The Yiddisher community in Souff Effrikka is a very close community, plundered a lot of the relief funds, and got involved in Tender fraud……. although shrinking each year and there definitely was guidance for the Its work in progress and will continue for quite some time Methinks….. community…. The Chief Rabbi, Warren Goldstein set up a few Medical E-fundi’s and they gave weekly advice on what they believed to be the JOKES best way forward on the pandemic….Dr Schoub. Friedlander and a few others were right there advising the community, and Dr Myburgh who 2019: Stay away from negative people. appeared on Howard Feldman’s weekly Sunday round up were very 2020: Stay away from positive people. helpful Ontario has banned groups larger than 5. If you’re a family of 6, you’re Not enough can be said to praise the work done by Hatzolah & The all about to find out who’s the least favourite! CSO……. Once Yidden had the Virus, Hatzolah took over soooo many tasks, like visiting infected patients at home every day for the 14 day The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to return to a society where period and just helping everywhere, with everything ….They even took pants and bras are required! a few mourners to the cemetery in ambulances to be at loved ones funerals….. As I say, not enough praise can be given to those volunteers Happy hour is starting earlier and earlier. for the sterling work they have done and still continue to do……

22 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 If this keeps up, I’ll be pouring wine in my cereal!

Today’s Weather? Room temperature

30 Days Hath September, April, June and November. All the rest have 31 … except March, April and May which hath 8000

Smoking pot and skipping school had me in trouble constantly. Now weed’s legal and schools closed … damn kids are livin’ the dream!

This is stupid. I just tried to make my own hand sanitizer and it came out as a rum & coke!

If you get an email with the subject “Knock Knock”, don’t open it. It’s a Jehovah Witness working from home

After a few days of not going out, I saw someone I knew walking by on the sidewalk outside. I immediately ran to the window and started yelling to them. Now I understand dogs.

Day 40 of social isolation and it’s looking like Vegas in my house: We’re losing money by the minute. Cocktails are acceptable at any hour. Nobody knows what time it is.

Ireland on lock down due to the virus!! Paddy and Murphy have just been signed up by the army. They are given a rifle each and told...‘ Martial law has been declared! Anyone caught out after 6 pm it’s SHOOT TO KILL!!! On their first day, they are sitting on a rooftop when Paddy lets off 3 Never mind the VIRUS BUG, rounds and kills a man who is walking along the pavement! Brian answered his front door and found a giant beetle standing on the Murphy shouts JESUS PADDY WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT’S ONLY porch. 5.45! Paddy replies: The beetle punched him in his nose and ran off . I Know where he lives...... He would never have made it home by 6 !!!!!! Brian shouted to his wife. “ Our doctor was right. There is a nasty bug going around. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors! Oy vy ….. When I was young I always used to boast about my statistics. You think it’s bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people My one Chaver also used to detail all his own achievements and one home schooled by day drinkers… day he finally asked me. This virus has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!! “ Now can you beat that. ? “ Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighbourhood! I replied. “ Easy. I will do it with one example. Those are your neighbours without makeup and hair extensions! I got out of bed one morning , last week and with this Gashershe Virus, Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and I Had to order from Takealot stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Wearing only my pyjama pants I went down the flight stairs in my house Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – to answer the front door bell. I say we use them! There was a two cartons of goods ordered from Takealot left by the Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I front door. chew the furniture!” Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep I picked up each carton in each hand and went back upstairs again. “ washing our hands??? “ What is so remarkable about that.? “ He asked, I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6 foot I replied “ There is no belt on my pyjamas.” ( Otazay……………) pole” would become a national policy, but here we are! Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend? Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere. Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this coronavirus and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions. I swear my fridge just said “what the hell do you want now?” When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA? Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.

23 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 E-Mazing Pictures!

Rabbi Masinter & Gavin Katz Rabbi Michael Katz Rabbi Raiport & Ronnie Kaplan

Rhona & Eric Ellerine The Kangisser’s The Girnun’s ,Barney & Trevor

Two Chavers ..Rabbi Michael Katz & Robbie The Urdangs The ‘Smoekies’ Brozin

Sushi by ‘Jackie Chan’ Stan with Suikerbossie ‘Balabos’ Mikki Smith Stan with ‘Tasha’ @ new store in Waterfront

24 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Jokes……

A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. “Will Power” eyes, “shoot me first!” (Ja Neeeeeeeeeeee…) After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man Chaim arrives home from work and as soon as he a pill big enough to choke a horse. sets foot in the house, Sarah is on to him, telling him A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette “I’ll be right back with some water,” the doctor tells that their friend Yossy has finally quit smoking. convertible out of the dealership. him. The doctor has been gone a while and the man “Imagine that, Chaim,” she says, “Someone who Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, loses patience. smoked 3 packs a day for 20 years has stopped enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the smoking all of a sudden. had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-75, pill down his throat and gobbles down water until Now that’s what I call will power - something that pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the you definitely don’t have.” But Sarah hadn’t finished. view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, blue examining room. Just then the doctor comes back “And that’s not all. I hear that Yankel, that drunken lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 with a bucket of warm water, friend of yours, is finally giving up drinking – Another mph...then 110... then 120. “Okay, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for example of the kind of will power that you don’t Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old about 20 minutes.” ( Oy…vy) o have.” “OK, Sarah,” said Chaim, “you want to see will for this,” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival. power, do you? Well here’s will power. I am going to Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to A blonde girl goes to the council to register for child sleep in the spare room from now on. the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my benefit. I am going to prove to you that I won’t be affected at shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can “How many children?” asks the council worker. all by not sleeping with a woman.” give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard “10” replies the blonde girl. Chaim keeps to his word. One night, when he had before, I’ll let you go.” “10???” says the council worker. “What are their been sleeping alone for a week, there is a knock on The old gentleman paused, then said, “Years ago, my names?” his bedroom door.Chaim shouts out, “What do you wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought “Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, want?”Sarah replies, “Er... Yossy has started smoking you were bringing her back.” “Have a good day, sir,” Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne” again.” replied the trooper. (Otazay…………) “Doesn’t that get confusing?” “Naah...” says the blonde girl “it’s great because if On an Electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts” they are out playing in the street I just have to shout In a Non-smoking area: “If we see you smoking we WAAYNE, YER DINNER’S READY or WAAYNE GO will assume you are on fire and take appropriate TO BED NOW and they all do it...” action.” On a Front Door: “Everyone on the premises “What if you want to speak to one individually?” is a vegetarian except the dog.” says the perturbed council worker. “That’s easy,” says the girl... “I just use their At an Optometrist’s Office: “If you don’t see what surnames” (Einaaaaaaaah….) you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.” On a Scientist’s door: “Gone Fission” Today I am very depressed . My doctor refused Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed to write to give me a prescription for Viagra. of cheques Half of being smart is knowing what He said that it would be like putting a new flag you’re dumb at. on a condemned building. Two Mexican detectives were investigating the I never told you this. I used to be a bottle baby murder of Juan Gonzalez. but when I reached the ageof one I pushed the “How was he killed?” asked one detective. cork out and insisted I want a new breast of life. ! “With a golf gun,” the other detective replied What breaks when you speak.? Silence. “A golf gun? What is a golf gun?” What is a doughnut.? …. Someone who is crazy “I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.” about money. My wife and I have a joint banking account. ….I deposit money and she withdraws it. ROSH HASHANA - Using a credit card is a convenient way to spend THE TIME TO LIGHTEN OUR LOADS money you wish you had . The heaviest thing that we will ever carry, In South Africa how do you join the police….. Melvyn Katz converts and becomes a priest. and the thing that we have the most difficulty Handcuff them together, Lenin`s tomb is a He give his first Mass in front of a number of high in putting down, is when we carry a grudge. communist plot. ranking priests who came for the occasion. Can someone teach me to watch TV by candlelight . At the end of the new priest’s sermon, a cardinal “My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or Eihhhhhhkom is raising its price.? goes up to congratulate him. have a child. What do prisoners use to call each other.? …. Cell “Pastor Katz ,” he said, “That was very well done, you We can’t decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.” phones. were just perfect. But next time, please don’t start your sermon with, Airman Cohen was assigned to advise new recruits For those of you who don’t speak Yiddish, Chazir “Fellow Goyim...” (Einaaaaaaaaaaah…) about GI Insurance. means pig and Fresser (or Freser) means glutton Captain Smith noticed that he had almost a 100% (Grazer….). THE WISH record for sales. Amazed, the captain stood in the One day Yankel succumbed to eating a small piece Just before Rosh Hashanah, a team of terrorists back of the room and listened to Cohen’s pitch. bacon. He felt so remorseful that he had nightmares invades the shul and takes the rabbi, the cantor and and couldn’t sleep at all for a whole week. the shul president hostage. Cohen explained the basics of GI Insurance, then In the end Yankel became quite depressed about it. Hours later, the governor stands tough, he won’t said, “If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and So he decided to go and see the rabbi. give them a million dollars, nor a getaway car, nor a are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to “Hmm..., a small piece of bacon” said the Rabbi, Jumbo Jet. The terrorists gather the three hostages your beneficiaries. If you don’t have GI Insurance “you must start regularly attending shul, and after in a corner and inform them that things look bad and and you go into battle and get killed, the government each prayer during the day you must say three they’re going to have to shoot them. only has to pay a maximum of $6,000.” chapters of tehillim.” Yankel agreed. Nevertheless, to show that they’re not really a bad As soon as he could he went to shul and joined in bunch, they’ll grant each hostage one wish. “So you tell me,” he concluded, the Mincha prayers. Then he sat down on a bench, “Please,” says the rabbi, “for the last two months I’ve “who do you think they’re going to send into battle picked up a Sefer and started to read his three been working on my Rosh Hashanah Sermon. first?” chapters of tehillim. What a waste to die now without having delivered Yankel couldn’t help noticing a Chassid sitting next to it before an audience. I’ll go happily if you let me Mrs. Levy is having her house painted, and her him, with the full garb - black hat, payot, long beard, recite my sermon. It’s an hour-ninety minutes long husband comes home from work and leans against dressed in a black frock coat. tops.” They promise to grant him the wish. “Please,” the freshly painted wall. The Chassid was also reading from the sefer tehillim, says the cantor, “after 50 years I’ve finally gotten the The next day, she says to the painter, but not three chapters --- it looked like 20 or even ‘Hinneni’ prayer just right. “You wanna see where my husband put his hand last more the way he was whizzing through them... What a waste to die and not sing it to an audience. night?” He sighs and says, “Look lady, I got a tough No! It was forty chapters! It’s only about 45 minutes long - then I’ll go happily.” day’s work head of me. Yankel was shocked. He thought to himself, “Such a The terrorists promise to grant the cantor his wish Could I just have a cup of coffee instead?” pious Jew, with his black hat, payot and beard - and too and they turn to the shul president. What is your ( Einaaaaaah…) he would eat so much Treif!” ( Oy………..) wish? “Please,” says the president with tears in his

25 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 E-Mazing Pictures!

‘Cocky Feldman’ -Deputy Mayor J(M)uizenberg ‘Long’ John Berks & Schvester Sanette Levy Alan Lunz & Oshy Tugendtaft with Stan

Annie Nomis & Denise Kroeser At Kotel 2014 Ava & Stan Smookler with OUR 10 Einingklach

Ava, Stan & Seth Clyman-Eishhhh Basil Lashanky & Howard Sackstein Benny Postan & Stan Matthews

Bolel & Zimmerman Cecil & Beryl Lewus Chaim Ehrlich & Stan in Hermanus

26 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 E-Mazing Pictures!

Clive & Callan Kotzen-Lichtenbergers Clive Blechman & Rabbi Shaw Colin Biddle & Gabriel Moritz

Colin Datnow & Selwyn Feinblum Darryl & Tanya Joss Dave & Rosalie Serebro

David & Dilyce Abelman David & Gila Orkin Dean Kay,Martin Smookler & Greg Levitan

Dennis Cohen & Charles Shapiro Dennis Zetler-Mooiberge Balabos. Frank Davidson & Stan Gordon

27 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 28 29 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 E-Mazing Pictures!

Gabi, Alexa & Zaida, eating watermelon.... Gary Kaplan, Steven Blend & Zev Krengel Glyn Ismay,Aubrey Girnun & Les Rubin

Gordon & Lara Kretzmer Herman Mashaba & Avi Kievman Hymie & Linda Drue

Ilan Ossendryver, Stan Smookler & Rabbi David Jared & Myron Berzack Jeff Livingstone & Motti Sacks Masinter

Jerry & Adele Abrams Keith & Gail Benjamin Larry, Berry & Selwyn Noik

30 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 E-Mazing Pictures!

Late Cyril Green & Howard Berkowitz Marcia & Rabbi Avraham Tanzer Mayor of J(M)uizenberg Late Mannie and Reeva Rubinstein -67 seasons (one missed)

Mayor of Melbourne , Stan Gordon & Stan Mervyn Genede & Steven Emdin Michael Dennill & Stan Smookler Smookler

Michael Dennill, Joel Katz, Phillip Ephron & Michael Smookler & Sandy VD Zanden Norman & Late Cecily Mindel with Leonie Martin Krok Myers

Norman Leibowitz & Stan Smookler -Highlanders Ooooom Solly & Martin Krok with Rabbi Yossy Rabbi & Rebbetzin Shlomo Wainer -Chabad of Goldman Umhlanga

31 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 The Simcha Guide!

Your comprehensive guide to all the best wedding suppliers in the business

32 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 RH//5015E

MONKEY SHOULDER 750ML

HERRADURA REPOSADO 750ML

GLENMORANGIE 10YR750ML

EL JIMADOR REPOSADO 750ML

BELVEDERE 750ML

SPIRITS OF FESTIVITY. Quench your thirst this Rosh Hashanah with great Kosher deals on our wide selection of premium spirits.

Not For Persons Under The Age of 18. Drink Responsibly.

33 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020

5015_NGF_Rosh_Hashana_Ad(A4).indd 1 2020/08/31 10:33 A Paradigm shift in culinary tastes from conventional to Avnate Garde..

Only for the contemporary palate not for the ordinary or mundane Tel: 011 786 7948 Email: [email protected]

34 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Food ,Glorious food……………

Very few industries have been hit in most days…. Maxis also started as hard as the Food industry, and I producing Meals to go, Perogen wonder if it will ever recover to what and all kinds of Fleishik Gerichten….. it was….. It is one of the most difficult The Pie Works always seems to labour industries around, and be busy selling pies, but has also many of the ‘Wekkers’ experience expanded…… Must say they have all totally crazy hours and working worked very hard during this difficult conditions….. period….

The Coronavirus has Tukka smashed Going forward one hopes for the Kosher food industry to pieces Simcha’s to return, which will take and quite a few places have closed, a long time…… and once they do or on the verge…… The only way start, it helps lift the general ‘Ruach’ they can survive, so that when the among the community…..There have Pandemic clears, there is still an been some novel Covid Simcha’s, Industry going is to get support from like the Chasene that took place on the public…. the Torah Academy sports fields and Chavers all parked on the field and We have seen the shrinking of Food watched the Chuppa….. Drive thru outlets over the past two years Barmy’s & Batti’s have been good, already, and Methinks we will see with guests driving past wishing more…..BUT…..the lure is there and Mazeltov and picking up a ‘Peckel’ as one closes another opens, which of goodies……We had two ‘Zoom in normal circumstances would be Brisses’ in our family, which was not GR888888 for the public, BUT…. the same, but worked out well……… unfortunately many have lost a lot of money…… Hoping that not too many Shopkella’s will have to close due to the chaos On the positive side, the ‘Kosher’ caused by the Virus…..which has left outlets Tukka did the community soooo many in the Industry jobless, proud during the lockdown, by with prospects of finding work very many staying open to service the slim…. Public….. I know that Income was a big factor, but when one looks at the It is not only the Food side that danger they put themselves in….??? has suffered, but the Music, Decor, Wow, that far outweighs the Income Hiring, waiters etc have been even aspect….. Never seem soooo much worse affected, with some having on offer in the way of Kosher Dinner NO business and as things are going, meals on offer, and delivered to your there is a good chance that they doorsteps….. We even saw a novella will have to hold on for a few more idea by Corner Café to open a “ months…. Dolls House” type takeaway, where Some have managed to do other you sat in your car and ate….. The work, or tailor their current offering Variety of Meals available at Fresh and the Marathon Man, Johnny fellows was vast and has proved very Birin has been doing quite a few popular, and Gary Friedman Caterers Zooooom Simcha and they have have kept up a good standard, and been exceptional, and the beauty the other Kosher Caterer, Riva Flax about Zoooom is that you can play at has also come to the party, offering a Simcha anywhere in the World….. ‘special’ meals on certain days…The Chinese days were the best and very I have included a few pictures of popular…..Basically ALL the Kosher Stan & Pete Catering “Amolikke outlets had meals on offer, and Yoren” (+/- 40 years ago) …. Yidden will remember the two Hallmarks of Tiberius Tukka started many new Stan & Pete….The Swan with fruit items, and their ‘Cinnabons’ are to on virtually every buffet between die for….and there Cuppachino Bar 1975/85 and the World Famous was open virtually throughout the Sausage & Salami Bar…… May the lockdown……… Moishes have a wide Simcha’s start again in GR88888888 range of ‘Alles’….. They try anything, style L ‘Chaim… and the people were queuing to get

35 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 BRS_FULL_PAGE_AD.pdf 1 2015/08/14 01:47:24 PM

C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

K

36 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Simcha Guide 2020

37 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 38 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Contact us 011-907-7882 We deliver nationwide [email protected]

PROUD MEMBER OF www.dspress.co.za Est NATIONAL OFFICE The Braids, Block D Ground Floor 1983 113 Bowling Avenue Gallo Manor 2191 P O Box 1396 39A 5th Avenue, Alberton North Gallo Manor 2052 Telephone: (011) 287 1160 Fax: (011) 287 1179

• posters • programs • banners 3695•/ S.37 envelopes 5th February 2014 To : Chamber Directors / Managers • desk pads • calendars • header cards Dear• Sir/Madam, manuals School Calendar for Learners in Public Schools for the year 2015 • catalogues • diaries • colour brochures Coastal• Provinces: magazines Eastern Cape, KwaZulu-Natal, Northern Cape and Western Cape Term Duration Number Number of Number of Actual no. of • pamphlets • invitations • computer forms • letterheadsof weeks days Public Holidays school days 1 (19) 21 Jan. - 1 April 11 (53) 51 0 (53) 51 2 13 April - 26 June 11 55 3+1 51 • brochures • certificates • business cards 3 ...20 Julyand - 2 Oct. more11 55 2+1 52 4 12 Oct. – (11) 9 Dec. 09 (45) 43 0 (45) 43 • folders • newsletters • pads Total 42 (208) 204 5 + 2 (201) 197 Inland Provinces: Free State, Gauteng, Limpopo, and North West • posters • invoice books • packaging Term Duration Number Number of Number of Actual no. of of weeks days Public Holidays school days 1 (12) 14 Jan. - 25 March 11 (53) 51 0 (53) 51 2 13 April - 26 June 11 55 3+1 51 www.benchingcards.com 3 20 July - 2 Oct. 11 55 2+1 52 4 12 Oct. – (11) 9 Dec. 09 (45) 43 0 (45) 43 Total 42 (208) 204 5+2 (201) 197

N.B: Dates in brackets ( ) are for Educators. The information has been compiled from the official source (Government Gazette), and whilst every effort is made in ensuring that the information supplied to us is correct, PIFSA (PRINTING SA) cannot be held responsible for any changes or inaccuracies by the Department. FOR ALL YOUR - LITHO - DIGITAL - WIDE FORMATThe dates above- havePRINTING been extracted from the Government Gazette No.36841 Notice No.941. Yours sincerely,

Maria Silveiro PIFSA Administrator

Printing Industries Federation of South Africa NPC (Reg No. 1990/001772/08) E-mail: [email protected]

Chief Executive Officer: P Lacy Non-Executive Directors: DH Joubert (President), FV Tshiqi (Past President) Executive Directors: CS de Jager, P Lacy (CEO), KA Leid (British), GN Warren Company Secretary: DL Garz www.pifsa.org PRINTING SA is a trademark of PIFSA NPC www.printingsa.org Page 1 of 1

Barmis|Batis|Weddings|Corporate Functions Nothing too big or too small Lee Tobin 073 022 8133 Event Coordinater 39 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Beverage Control/ Barman Services Beverage control at Weddings, Barmitzvah’s, Hotels and Corporate functions.I also do Barman services for all functions. No function is to big or to small. 20 Years experience My duties/role are as follow: • Take stock on arrival of all liquor and control for duration of function • Control stock for client, if client brought stock in • Determine Corkage at end of function if client brought stock in • Add stock and take closing stock at closing of function • Determine bill at end of function on actual stock used, to compare it with Tills/ Computers for payment

40 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 The best fresh secret in the heart of Glenhazel.

Gary Friedman Caterers now have a wide variety of delicious, kosher meals available at Freshfellas (on the Glenhazel strip).

And while you’re there, Gary don’t forget to pick up all Friedman CATERERS your fresh produce and HOD, 58 Oaklands Rd, Orchards Telephone: (011) 485 1960 dried fruit goodies Email: [email protected] Website: www.garyfriedman.co.za for Yomtov.

Find us on 3 Long Avenue, Glenhazel Telephone: (011) 440 8352 Email: [email protected] DAVID PERL DESIGN

41 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 When ‘Rugger’ was ‘Rugger’………….

By Stan The Good Shabbos Man…….

When I think back to the early Sixties, when I got hooked up on Rugger, it makes me sad to see what has happened to the Glorious game of Rugger in the past 50 years…. In the old days, it was seen as a game for men, played by real men….. I would not describe the average Shpieler as a well-tuned athlete in those days, BUT…..they had the ‘Shiechel’ that unfortunately is missing in the current game of Rugger………Its much more technical…..

Saturday’s were Rugger days, and even though there was no TV, the Radio was in fact the olden days TV….. Gerhard Viviers was the most unbelievable commentator around, and you felt you were at the ground when you listened to him commentate. In those days the L-O-N-G tours were the order of the day, and when a country visited there were usually at least 10 games, and tours were a few months at a time, and the ‘Manne’ were playing for their Country, and not for $$$$$ which is the case at present…..

Players like Frik Du Preez, Mof Myburgh, Gys Pitzer, Piet Greyling, Tommy Bedford, play…… WWW….. What Was, Was Piet Uys, Syd Nomis etc , etc……These names will remind you of the type of Shpielers we had…..When one looks at the Hype of the forthcoming British Lions Players in those days played for the Love of the Game….Since tour of the Beloved Country, you can understand what we had ‘Amolikke Yoren’….. it became professional, it is not the same……We have obviously The ability to play the team in over a few games, brings such Geeeeeeeeeees to got some good games to watch, but the game itself has evolved, the actual tests…………. The 1970 Tour by the All Blacks is a good example of a where every Shpieler has to be in TOP prime condition …..Gym a long tour….The First Test played at Loftus Versveld, was played in front of 70,000 ‘Zillion’ times a week etc, etc……and of course due to pressure , Mishugoyim going berserk….It looked as if the AB’s would take control and Syd drug use comes into play….. One of the best Rugger experiences Nomis intercepted and went in to score, with Gerhard shouting Sydie, Syddie, I have had was when my old Chaver, Aubrey Girnun (Syd Nomis’s Syddie over and over again, which became a treasured saying in Rugger…..Must brother in Law) contacted me as he was arranging a Rugger have been the best Test My Boet and I attended…… Gosh, those scaffolded stands Sports dinner in aid of the Yiddisher Maccabi Shpielers that were Skrikky….the series went on with the second test won by the All Blacks after were going to the Maccabi Games (1997)…. Had many meetings Fergie Mc Cormick took Syd out….The Boks won the 3rd and 4th Test to beat the with the committee and eventually the Transvaal Rugger Union, Invincible’ s 3-1…… These types of tours have been replaced by one off games under Ironman Jannie Le Roux gave permission for a Kosher between countries …Just not the same…. Caterer to come and Cater at Ellis Park in the New Conference room under the popular side stands….It was a major victory for When I think back, for me the best loose forward combination was Jan Ellis, Yidden….. Tommy Bedford & Piet Greyling….. Jan was from South West Africa, Tommy played for Natal….and Piet was our Captain courageous in the ‘Ou Transvaal’…… Players They ended having 500 guests and at each table, sat a BOK….. like Frik, Moaner, Thys Lourens, Rob Louw, Louis Moolman were unstoppable….. Was such a special Rugger evening…..Remember taking my Very few would make the cut in modern Rugger, as they are now all VERY fit, and Zunnelle Martin & some of his chavers, and they had Hannes streamlined, and with a 100 camera’s on the field, the old ‘Klap’ in the scrum has Strydom at their table ….. During that Dinner preparation, they all but vanished…..You see a little bit of Hand Bag stuff, but very little in the actual put together the Painting of the Springbok Rugger Minyan…. which was painted by Richie Ryall, a Bok Cricketer and that picture has been used a ‘Zillion’ times in the last 25 years ….. At the auction on the night, the Late Mendel Kaplan bought the original for R155,000, which was massive 25 years ago, and permission was given to reprint copies, and for it to be used …..Those were Tukka the good days….

Jan Ellis Piet Greyling

42 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 What does the future hold for Rugger…..???

What does the future hold for BOK Rugger…??? And for that mat- ter World Rugger ….???? With this Gashershe Virus comes turmoil in the game of Rugger…

Due to the Virus stopping travel, the current Super 15 was called off, and while in the process of calling it off, NZ & OZ decided to run a shorter version, and finally came the news that they are thinking of going it alone and the Bokke are out of the Super tournament….???? No mention has been made about the old Tri Nations tournament, which was Tukka an E-mazing Cup……After the huge surprise in winning the World Cup in Japan, less than a year ago, it is all but forgotten, as Rugger struggles to survive with the Virus around… Tommy Bedford Gerhard Viviers

The Super 1,000 (??) was in trouble a few years ago, with the tampering with the set up …. Adding in more teams and wreak- ing the standard was the first upheaval, and then followed the drop in attendances at games due to toooo many games, and the standard dropping all the time….. They then decided to do away with home and away games and there were more local derby’s…. They then cut out a few teams and so on….. They managed to kill an E-mazing tournament in search of bigger $$$$$ rewards. SANZAR was warned many times, BUT…..just went on killing the ‘Goose that laid the Golden Egg’……. Barney Girnun

Going forward, if the Bokke lose the All Blacks and there Super teams, to play regularly, they may as well give up Rugger, for in the Pro 14 etc, up North they not going to find the same experi- ence, and if you cannot play regularly against the best, your game will slide….. Methinks if we join the Northern Hemisphere games, our Rugger would suffer, and it would be a shame, after over 100 year history being wiped out…. RUGGER has always been the Battle of the All Blacks V the Bokke….???

Will our best Shpielers still stick around in the Beloved country to play in mediocre leagues, or will they leave on mass, to join over- seas clubs, and at least earn bigger pay-packets….. ???? Obviously everything is still in the air, so no one knows what the final result will be….. One big positive would be that they are talking about the Boks joining the Six Nations, which I reckon is a GR8888888 competition, BUT……time will tell…… For the moment Methinks Bok Rugger is walking on Ice, and hopefully we are not left with crumbs in the end….

SA Rugger must jack up its Admin, and start getting the going strongly again, with better Shpielers playing in the Cup, and not preserving the Prima Donna’s for Test Rugger…. Make no mistake the ‘Mighty’ All Blacks will also suffer, without regular games against the Bokke…..A lot of their Shpielers have been saying so….. Hopefully, whatever comes through is good for all, as World Rugger is in danger at the moment, with the Virus, and the game not growing….. GROOOOOT GEVAAAAR ……………..

43 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 CSA – Cricket Souff Effrikka in turmoil…

“The allegation that the investigation deliberately targeted black players must be rejected,” Judge Ngoepe said in a statement released by CSA. “Both white and black players were investigated and charged, based on the evidence that was collected and presented.”…. On the allegation made by Tsolekile that he was not presented with any evidence and did not receive any charges, Judge Ngoepe said: “This is not the truth. Mr Tsolekile received a formal charge sheet as is required under the code. He was also presented with extensive evidence in the presence of his lawyer.” …Thami then went on to criticize Graeme Smith for not picking him in England a few years ago, and going for ‘Abe’ de Villiers….. Smith has stated that he had nothing to do with the selections……. This unfortunately is what CSA are dealing with….Thami was banned for 12 years, and after a few years have already past, has the Chutzpah to accuse….No Embarrassment for Match fixing scandal…??? Niks …….

In my Pesach newspaper I wrote about the sad state of Cricket in the On the allegation made by Tsolekile that he was not presented with any ‘Beloved Country’, and since then it has deteriorated beyond repair evidence and did not receive any charges, Judge Ngoepe said: “This is methinks. …. not the truth. Mr Tsolekile received a formal charge sheet as is required With the ‘Balabos’ Monroe finally fired last month, and a few of the under the code. He was also presented with extensive evidence in the Manne brought in to help resigning …… presence of his lawyer.”

Can it be fixed…????? Is there any support for the Manne in charge CSA has committed itself to ONLY appointing Black Consultants ???? Unfortunately every few weeks there is another story, resignation, going forward, to help transform cricket in being representative of the skandaaaaal, and tahts how its being going for the past few years, with population …although they have black/coloured consultants, they want not one person at the top putting up his hand and TUKKA TAKING ALL to be black…. Jacque Kallis who was recently appointed will not be CHARGE….. from what one hears is that money is a big number, and able to coach, unless it can be proved that there is no person of colour although CSA is all but ‘Bankrot’, and people are still jostling to get for the position…… even after Jacque has just been entered into the into the running of Cricket, and besides the few newly appointed ex World ICC Hall of Fame……. Cricketers they are VERY few cricket people involved … At this delicate stage of Cricket in The Beloved Country, they have hired When Graeme Joffee (Joffers my Boy) ran away under a cloud, and wrote a Lady to be acting CEO, Kugandrie Govender, who in consultation with how bad things were, very few listened, which is now coming back to the Minister of Sport will run Cricket….. The same Minister of Sport who haunt them….. The latest drama was the Squad & management taking a wanted to know why Souff Effrikken Rugger Shpielers playing for Sale in Knee for the ‘BLM’ movement, and methinks that was the final starw…… the UK did not take the Knee for the all of a sudden thereafter a lot of moaning/rumblings were heard about ‘BLM’ bow before a game……When how badly black Shpielers were treated, and claims against Graeme Smth, you talk about a compensation fund which he took apart, and it was ugly….. The amount of total negativity being started to assist past players among Cricket fans has really shocked me…..Cricket fans are usually less who were prejudiced, when the CSA aggressive than Rugger ones, BUT…..the real Cricket fans are fuming….. money is gone is not on……….. Trust me, the game of Cricket as we knew it in Souff Effrikka is finished…… The rot has crept in to Cricket in Souff Effrikka, when former Protea’s wicketkeeper Thami Tsolekile on a local radio station said that only Right black players were targeted in an investigation into match fixing……. Lungi Ngidi-Promising future player

44 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 Like apples and honey. Some partnerships are written in the books. Here’s to a year of good health and continued growth together.

Shanah Tovah U’metukah.

Bank | Capital | Wealth

sasfin.com | 0861 SASFIN

Sasfin Bank Ltd. Reg. no. 1951/002280/06. An authorised financial service provider licence no. 23833. A registered credit provider NCRCP22 and a member of the Sasfin Group.

45 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 SASFIN’s Financial ‘Guru’ David Shapiro……….

Rosh Hashanah is judgment day for me. Like clockwork, after two nights of Seders, clients customarily phone me in a bit of a huff, demanding to know why I didn’t buy them Sibanye or Apple or some other high-flying security like their cousin, Milton’s broker. ]

In friendly get-togethers, investors always brag about their winners; they never bemoan their losses. In private meetings, though, the talk is quite different. Clients will go on and on about their losses and pay zero attention to their winners. It’s a tough world handling other people’s money where Benjamin Graham’s two rules of investment reign supreme. Rule number one, the patriarch of security analysis said, was never to lose. Rule number two was not to forget rule number one.

When I joined the Johannesburg Stock Exchange over 48 years ago, a veteran stock broker called me aside and handed me my first lesson in managing money. Selecting good shares, he lectured, was easy: managing gives rise to a structure that is uneven, disjointed and ungainly. Invariably client expectations was not. Remember one thing, he continued, you can the performance of these unwieldly portfolios hinge on the influence fool around with a man’s wife, but not with his money. of a handful of shares, the balance of the holdings contributing little or nothing to the bottom line. In the age of fast moving news and even faster moving capital, looking after your savings requires as much work and energy as running a small My personal preference is to buy between 20 and 25 counters, linked to business. To be successful, you should devote as much effort to your themes that are likely to dominate future spending in the global economy, financial health as you do to your spiritual, mental and physical wellbeing. and to invest at least 4% of the value of the portfolio in each company. Simply put, you cannot deal with your monetary matters on a part-time My argument being that you either believe in a business or not. There are basis. And, if you haven’t the inclination to apply your mind industriously, no half measures. And if the security no longer fulfills the original purpose employ a professional. for which you bought it, then don’t hang around for disappointment. Get out. Even if the value is below your entry cost. Don’t let your ego get in But, that’s where the trouble starts. When I was growing up, the clever the way of an incorrect decision. George Soros said it’s not a matter of students in my form became the doctors, lawyers and engineers. The whether you are right or wrong. It’s how much you make when you are battlers knew their limitations and were comfortable finding employment right and how much you lose when you are wrong. with an insurance company or on the stock exchange. So, you can understand why the financial well-off seem reluctant to hand over their Observing investing habits for so long, one trait that has always mystified hard-earned wealth to the guys who finished in the bottom half of the me, is how usually sensible and level-headed people – the kind who class. do extensive product research before they buy a new motor car or fridge – lose all sense of reasoning making investment decisions. The Warren Buffett expresses it more eloquently: Wall Street is the only more incomprehensible, the more dangerous, the more uncertain, the place where people who arrive in a Rolls Royce seek advice from those more they are prepared to flutter, in the hope the promise of big returns who catch the subway. will lift them above what I call the “great unrich”. While investors are willing to stake their pensions on a venture, the moral hazard is that the Irrespective, having been an investment advisor for over four decades, salesperson has little at stake other than his or her reputation. I have identified some elementary errors which investors make that impacts the underperformance of their portfolios. Many build their In the same way that it’s risky choosing a life-partner on a whim by ticking wealth without an overriding plan. As the years pass, they keep adding boxes on a dating app, selecting a company in which to invest requires whatever new shares and products catch their fancy. Their list of fostering that same special harmony that draws two people together. holdings gets longer and Although there might be an attraction on first meeting, it takes time for longer until the portfolio the relationship to really flourish. The more you learn about each other, resembles a small the more you strengthen your bond. unit trust. It’s the equivalent of Before you invest in a company, it’s critical to know how the business attaching a makes its money, how its operations have evolved and in which markets series of it operates. You have to understand the sustainable competitive rooms advantages of its products and services and the intensity of the to an competition. The most crucial element, though, in a number of additional questions that you have to explore, is the integrity of management. The deciding factor being whether the executive directors are self-promoting and love money more than the business.

There is no special formula for being successful on the stock market. It can’t be learnt in text books or by reading charts. It comes from hours and hours of dedication and devotion. As Warren Buffett illuminates in existing one of his more humourous lines: Some things just take time. You can’t house. It produce a baby in one month, by getting nine woman pregnant.

46 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 A partnership.sound

To the people that drive us - wishing our clients, associates and team a Shanah Tova and well over the fast.

Our partner-led firm specialises in providing high quality audit, accounting, tax, and business advisory solutions.

47 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020 United together, even as we celebrate apart. Shana Tova!

www.discovery.co.za @Discovery_SA discoverysouthafrica Discovery_SA youtube/DiscoverySA

Discovery is an authorised fi nancial services provider.

RCK_75200DSY_20/08/2020_V5

48 STAN ROSH HASHANA 2020