River of Fear
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River of fear Item Type Thesis Authors Taylor, Natalie Elise Download date 30/09/2021 22:30:34 Link to Item http://hdl.handle.net/11122/5774 RIVER OF FEAR By Natalie Elise Taylor RECOMMENDED: Leonard Kamerling, MFA JXS % Richard Carr, PhD Chair, Department of English APPROVED: RIVER OF FEAR A THESIS Presented to the Faculty of the University of Alaska Fairbanks in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of MASTER OF FINE ARTS By Natalie Elise Taylor, B.A. Fairbanks, Alaska May 2015 Abstract River of Fear is a literary nonfiction memoir in which the author, Natalie Taylor, leaves the only home she’s ever known in small town east Texas to move to Sabie, South Africa with her parents for her father’s new position as COO of a wood products company. Taylor and her parents find home in a house with a tin roof, looking out on hazy green mountains and a carefully groomed garden. In Sabie, Taylor discovers a world that challenges her ideas about safety, control, and fear. The Sabie River overflows with crocodiles, while at school, as the only American, Taylor quietly struggles to find her place in her classmates’ insulated world. At home on the banks of the “river of fear,” she strives to find herself in a place where AIDS, racism, poverty, and forest fires encroach on paradise, and where her parents each cope with fear in their own way. River of Fear is Taylor’s coming-of-age memoir in post-apartheid South Africa in which Taylor attempts to make sense of her relationship to the world, her parents, and herself. v Table of Contents Page Signature Page ............................................................................................................................................ i Title Page................................................................................................................................................... iii Abstract ...................................................................................................................................................... v Table of Contents .....................................................................................................................................vii Acknowledgments .................................................................................................................................... ix Prologue....................................................................................................................................................... 1 Lufkin, Texas............................................................................................................................................ 11 Sabie, South Africa..................................................................................................................................29 G lory..........................................................................................................................................................41 Mom’s Back .............................................................................................................................................. 51 Topaz .......................................................................................................................................................... 57 Penryn........................................................................................................................................................65 Round Two................................................................................................................................................ 73 English Lesson ..........................................................................................................................................83 In the Silence ............................................................................................................................................. 87 The Only American................................................................................................................................. 93 Glory’s Sister..........................................................................................................................................105 The Tuck Shop........................................................................................................................................107 The Exposed Posterior ...........................................................................................................................115 Control Freak ..........................................................................................................................................123 Intruders...................................................................................................................................................137 Grade 11 Growth Camp .........................................................................................................................141 Obstacle Course......................................................................................................................................159 Friends ...................................................................................................................................................... 163 The Deputy President.............................................................................................................................173 N ick.......................................................................................................................................................... 179 L ouis........................................................................................................................................................ 191 D anya....................................................................................................................................................... 197 The Penryn Guard................................................................................................................................. 203 Spring ..................................................................................................................................................... 207 Boundary Lines...................................................................................................................................... 209 vii Where Are We?...................................................................................................................................... 217 Debbie......................................................................................................................................................223 Sindy ...................................................................................................................................................... 229 I See You................................................................................................................................................. 233 Vultures.................................................................................................................................................. 249 Fire .......................................................................................................................................................... 255 viii Acknowledgments River of Fear would not have been possible without the help and support of many people. Megan Bush was my accountability partner throughout this process as, together, we learned how to write books. She was always willing to be my first reader, even when the writing was at its worst, and I’m fully convinced this manuscript wouldn’t exist without her. Derek Hinckley was also a fantastic and willing reader when needed. I’m grateful to Daryl Farmer, my mentor and committee chair, for helping me realize that creative nonfiction was where I belonged, and for being supportive of this project. Thanks, also, to Rich Carr for all his help, despite the possibility of paper cuts, and to Len Kamerling for his support. As for my family, well, I wouldn’t have been able to write this if they hadn’t agreed— however grudgingly in some cases—to be in it. I hope they find that what I’ve written isn’t too far from their own version of reality. Thanks, especially to my mom and dad, to whom I am always grateful for their encouragement, even when they have no idea what to expect out of their writer-daughter who moved to Alaska. To Olivia, the honorary member of the family, thanks for sticking out the long distances all these years and continuing to be my best and oldest friend. Finally, thanks to Craig Sanders for being my go-to listener through all the complaining and crying and last-minute escape ideas of quitting the project to become a chef. ix Prologue When Mom and I point Dad’s company car south towards Bushbuckridge, storm clouds billow in the southern sky, painting blotchy gray swirls across the tops of blue mountains. The Canadians have told us many things about how to survive in South Africa. The men are Dad’s coworkers, and their wives are some of Mom’s only friends. The Canadians have lived here longer than we have. They are our survival guide. Before we ever went there, the Canadians warned us not to stop in Bushbuckridge. They told us to watch for speed traps—the cops prey on foreigners. Don’t get pulled over, they said; the policemen want bribes. Always get petrol before you go through Bushbuckridge, they said. Don’t stop for a bathroom. You must hold it, cross