Understanding the Emotional Impact of Domestic Violence on Young Children Victoria Thornton

Understanding the emotional impact of domestic violence on young children Victoria Thornton

Young children who live with domestic violence represent a significantly disempowered group. Developmentally, young children have relatively limited verbal skills and emotional literacy. In addition, the context created by domestic violence frequently involves an atmosphere of secrecy and intimidation, as well as reduced emotional availability from children’s main caregivers. Taken together, these factors severely restrict these young children’s capacity and opportunities to make their voices and needs heard. This qualitative study gave children who had lived with domestic violence, the opportunity to share their emotional worlds through projective play and drawing assessments. Eight children aged between 5 and 9-years-old, took part together with their mothers. Transcripts of semi-structured interviews with the mothers and projective play assessments with the children were analysed using abbreviated, social constructionist grounded theory. Interpretations from the children’s drawings served to elaborate and validate themes found in the transcript data. Themes were then linked and mapped into an initial theoretical model of how domestic violence impacts emotionally on young children. The data gathered shows that domestic violence generates a range of negative and overwhelming emotions for young children. There is also a concurrent disrupting impact on the dynamics in the family which undermines the security and containment young children need to manage and process their emotions. The presence of an attuned adult and age-appropriate means to communicate is argued to be important in supporting young and traumatised children to share their emotions. Implications for service planning, clinical practice and educational professionals are discussed. Keywords: Domestic violence; young children; emotional impact.

OMESTIC VIOLENCE remains wide - A recent large-scale study, found that 12 spread in the UK, accounting for 14 per cent of under-11s had been exposed to Dper cent of all violent crime (Office for domestic abuse between adults in their National Statistics, 2013). Whilst domestic homes (NSPCC, 2011). Suggestions that violence can and does occur in all varieties of children can remain oblivious to domestic intimate and familial relationships, the focus violence taking place in their home, have of the present study was on women and long since been replaced by a recognition children who had experienced violence or that children are very much aware of both abuse by male perpetrators. Data suggest incidents of violence and their aftermath. In that between 25 to 30 per cent of women a study of 246 children living with mothers experience domestic abuse over their life - who had been physically assaulted by their time with a common onset being at the time partners, Abrahams (1994) reported 73 per of pregnancy, birth or when children are cent of the children as having directly small (Council of Europe, 2002; Snyder, witnessed assaults on their mothers and 52 1998). In almost half of reported cases, per cent as having seen the resulting injuries. victims have been abused more than once, Overall, 92 per cent of the children were with the average length of an abusive rela - found to have been in the same or next tionship being five years (Chaplin et al., room whilst their mothers were assaulted. 2011; Co-ordinated Action Against Domestic Abuse (CAADA), 2013). Domestic violence Research review occurs in all ethnic, social, religious and Appreciating the high prevalence of educational groups (Martin, 2002). domestic violence in UK homes and recog -

90 Educational & Child Psychology Vol. 31 No. 1 © The British Psychological Society, 2014 Understanding the emotional impact of domestic violence on young children nising that children are inextricably caught children’s perspective is identical to that of up in these abusive relationships, brings with adults. Hearing children’s own perspectives it a need to consider what impact such expe - on their experience has been recognised riences have on our children. A body of more recently as essential both for research research, starting in the 1980s, began to and practice in the area of domestic violence address this question. These early studies (Goddard & Bedi, 2010). generally used quantitative methodologies, Studies using a more qualitative method - asking mothers to complete questionnaire ology have directly involved children and measures about violence that had occurred young people as research participants and in their homes and symptoms that they had used their own words from interviews to observed in their children. Reviews and describe and begin to understand their meta-analyses of these studies (see Kitzmann experience. Some consistent themes reoccur et al., 2003) conclude that living with across a number of these studies. Children domestic violence is related to a significant describe domestic violence not as discrete negative effect on children’s functioning, violent episodes interspersed with times of with rates of psychopathology being up to calm, but rather as an ever-present atmos - four times higher among children who have phere, created by controlling behaviour and lived with domestic violence than among intimidation. In addition, there is the children from non-violent homes. Reported ongoing threat of actual physical violence symptoms include externalising problems and harm (Goldblatt, 2003) forcing children such as aggression and hyperactivity, inter - to be constantly alert and hyper-vigilant nalising problems such as anxiety and (Epstein & Keep, 1995). Since the atmos - depression, reduced social competencies phere between violent assaults is described and higher rates of physical symptoms such by children as equally part of their difficult as bedwetting, disturbed sleep and failure to experience as the actual violent attacks, it thrive, particularly among younger children. seems appropriate for research to allow Children who have been exposed to children to tell us about their everyday domestic violence were found to have lower family life, beyond specific incidents of IQs than children from non-violent homes, violence. Children living with domestic contributing to lower levels of attainment in violence have described feeling isolated and the classroom. In all of these areas of diffi - ignored (Ericksen & Henderson, 1992) or culty, a significant positive correlation was struggling to share their concerns due to found between the duration of the domestic restrictions on their peer relationships violence experienced and the levels of prob - (Epstein & Keep, 1995) or through fears of lems reported. not being believed by professionals (McGee, These quantitative studies made an 2000). These children clearly need help to important contribution in demonstrating a share their experiences and to feel clear association between childhood experi - supported in making sense of their ence of domestic violence and higher rates emotional responses which have been docu - of psychological distress. However, the focus mented to include fear, helplessness, frustra - of the methodology on statistical analyses of tion, guilt, shame and confusion (Abrahams, large samples has been criticised for failing 1994; Epstein & Keep, 1995; Ericksen & to capture the unique experience of indi - Henderson, 1992; Mullender et al., 2002). vidual children and for offering little insight Research data reporting children’s own into the processes through which experi - perspectives and their views on how profes - encing domestic violence leads to later diffi - sionals could help them is invaluable to culties. In addition, collecting data from service designers and providers. However, parents, rather than directly from children the majority of research participants from themselves, incorrectly assumes that whom this data has been gathered are aged

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8 and above. Opportunities have remained children, by hearing directly from them extremely limited for younger children who about their experiences within their families. have lived with domestic violence to share Using drawing and projective play allowed aspects of their experience that feel signifi - these children to share their expectations cant to them and using methods of commu - and perceptions of family life and relation - nication that facilitate their self-expression. ships, just as older children and adolescents have done in previous qualitative studies Play and drawing with young children who have through interviews and recorded conversa - experienced domestic violence tions. It is well documented in the childhood trauma literature that children who have Method experienced trauma are likely to struggle to Participants put their experiences into words. Van der Mother and child pairs or groups were Kolk (2005) writes: recruited via voluntary sector agencies ‘These children rarely spontaneously working with survivors of domestic violence. discuss their fears and traumas… They Support workers provided written informa - tend to communicate the nature of their tion about the study to mothers who were traumatic past by repeating it in the form asked to discuss the study with their child or of interpersonal enactments, in their play children and to contact the researcher to and their fantasy lives.’ opt-in. Eight children, from five families, Young children who have lived with domestic took part in the study, together with their violence are a particularly suitable popula - mothers. The children, four boys and four tion for creative methods of data collection girls, were aged between 5 and 9-years-old. such as play and art. Their developmental All of the children had at least one sibling stage leaves them less able to verbally convey living in the same house. For two of the fami - their experiences, particularly since memo - lies, several siblings fell within the age range ries of traumatic events at any age are of the study and all took part. Mothers were commonly stored in affective, non-declara - aged between 24 and 42-years-old. Their tive memory making them less accessible for relationships with their violent partners had verbal recall (Moore, 1994). all ended between six months and two years Whilst there are several books that report prior to the study. All participants were white on clinical work using art with children who British. have experienced domestic violence, docu - mented research using art with this popula - Ethical considerations tion is extremely limited. Similarly, although The study aimed to truly hear children’s own there are a number of published research perspectives on their experiences and treat studies that have used the structured play them as active participants in the research scenarios of story-stems to collect data with process. Researching with young children children who have experienced domestic who have already lived through distressing violence, the overall research designs have life experiences raises issues of possible been quantitative, using predefined scoring exploitation or harm caused by insensitive procedures to code story stem responses and research methods. However, denying young compare these with scores on questionnaire children the opportunity to make their measures such as children’s well-being or voices and needs heard has the potential to maternal psychopathology (see Grych et al., lead to harm of a different kind. Over- 2002; Huetteman, 2005; Shamir et al., 2001). protecting children from research means The present study had a different aim; to that they do not have the opportunity to build an understanding about the emotional inform and shape the services and interven - impact of domestic violence on young tions created by adults and intended to be

92 Educational & Child Psychology Vol. 31 No. 1 Understanding the emotional impact of domestic violence on young children supportive (Mullender et al., 2002). With for the specific purpose of measuring this dilemma in mind, the present research children’s internal mental representations of study gave particular consideration to ethical attachment figures. There is a manual to issues in order to ensure that young children guide the use of a numerical coding system could provide research data, whilst (Hodges et al., 2004). However, for the remaining protected from potential harm. current study the story stems were used only Consent was sought independently from to provide structured play prompts that each mother and child. Information packs could be replicated with each of the about the study were produced for mothers children. The task provided an engaging and and separately for children. The children’s non-threatening means through which packs used age appropriate language and children could express their expectations, pictures to explain why the study was being feelings and perceptions in displaced form done and what participation would involve. and using both verbal and non-verbal Consent from a mother did not assume communication. consent from her child. It was made clear Each child also completed two drawing that the decision to participate would have assessments; the Kinetic Family Drawing no influence on service provision. Both (Burns & Kaufman, 1972) and the Human mothers and children were given the option Figure Drawing (Koppitz, 1968). Both of to withdraw from the study at any time. Time these tasks allow children to depict issues or was taken at the beginning of each child’s feelings that feel most important to them, meeting with the researcher to build trust without feeling pressurised to respond to through free play, drawing or talking. The particular direct questions. The KFD refers boundaries of confidentiality were made directly to the child’s own family and could, clear, as were procedures that would be therefore, potentially inhibit expression for followed in the event of ongoing harm being children who find their family situation disclosed. Consent was checked again at the confusing or traumatic. However, when beginning of each child’s session. The children are asked to draw as well as talk impact of the session was continuously moni - about emotional experiences, they have tored using a pictorial rating scale to help been found to report more than twice as children express how they were feeling. much information than those who are asked Frequent opportunities to stop the sessions just to talk (Gross & Harlene, 1998). Further - were offered. Time was made at the end of more, as with play assessments, drawing each session for further free play or drawing allows children to express non-declarative and monitoring of each child’s emotional memories which may have been stored pre- state. All of the families were linked into verbally or following trauma (Moore, 1994). support services. Agreement was made to Each of the mothers completed a semi- call on staff known to the families should this structured interview. Interview prompts be necessary, although this was not in fact guided each mother to talk about her child, needed. their relationship and the child’s character - istic responses over time. Some interview Data collection prompts also sought contextual information In deciding the methods of data collection, about the family and the domestic violence priority was given to supporting children to that had occurred. This information facili - express their experiences in a way that was tated interpretation of the data from the familiar and meaningful given their develop - children’s projective assessments. mental stage and traumatic experiences. Each child completed eight stories, selected Data analysis from the Story Stem Assessment Profile Transcripts of the children’s stories, together (SSAP). The SSAP was originally developed with the interview data from the mothers,

Educational & Child Psychology Vol. 31 No. 1 93 Victoria Thornton were all analysed using grounded theory. which Dan had called the police, had taken A brief summary interpretation of each of place the previous April. Similarly Gemma, the children’s drawings was also produced, aged six, drew a tiny female figure with a noting features that were highlighted in the break in the line drawn for her right arm. literature as potentially significant (e.g. Gemma’s mother spoke during her interview Malchiodi, 1997; Wohl & Kaufman, 1985). of an incident when her violent partner had All interpretations were made cautiously, picked Gemma up and thrown her across the with no single feature used as a sole indi - room, causing injury to her right arm. cator of a child’s emotional experience and For all of the children, the content and no fixed meanings applied to any images. style of their drawings and stories evidenced These summaries were then used to further both emotional distress and negative expec - elaborate and validate the themes found tations of family relationships. All of the through the grounded theory analysis. mothers were felt by the researcher to be Conceptual links were made between the impressively open in describing the domestic themes, grouping them into categories and violence experienced within their family. leading to an initial theoretical model, as However, the views offered by mothers about shown in Figure 1. The model was shared the emotional impact of these experiences with four of the participant mothers, all of on their children frequently underestimated whom felt that it was a valid representation or missed aspects of the children’s difficul - of their family’s experience. ties as represented in their play and art. In attempting to explore and map this Results emotional impact for the current study, All of the children spent an hour with the precedence was given to the children’s data researcher and willingly engaged in the play with information gathered from the mothers and drawing tasks. Many of the children serving primarily to aid interpretation. The asked to continue with further stories and model generated is illustrated in Figure 1. drawings of their own choice and several of the children asked whether they would be Qualities of domestic violence able to meet with the researcher again. The Interview data from the mothers confirmed way in which these children presented even that all of the children within this small-scale within a single meeting, conveyed a sense of study had witnessed physical and verbal their need to connect with someone who aggression directed at their mother, either would listen to and contain their experi - from within the same room or overheard ences. In the examples that follow, all names from another room in the house. During have been changed to preserve anonymity. their play and drawing assessments, the The validity of the play and drawing children frequently represented violence assessments as a means to facilitate the and aggression, depicting it as powerful, as children to share their experiences was causing pain and as being beyond control. supported. Several of the children included When asked to draw a person, Aaron, age 7, in their play and drawing, aspects of the chose to draw a wrestler, filling the entire domestic violence that were separately and page (Figure 2). This powerful image is in independently reported by their mothers. contrast to the tiny stick figures Aaron drew For example, Dan, aged 8, told the story of a when he was asked to draw his family (Figure boy, complaining that he gets, ‘a pain in my 3), as well as being at odds with the timid and head, every April and nothing can sort it withdrawn presentation of Aaron himself, out’. His mother separately reported within both within the research interview and her interview that the worst incident of phys - reported by his mother. ical violence from her ex-partner, during

94 Educational & Child Psychology Vol. 31 No. 1 Understanding the emotional impact of domestic violence on young children

Figure 1: Theoretical model of the emotional impact of domestic violence on young children.

Qualities of domestic violence l Powerful l Causes pain l Beyond control

Impact on children’s feelings Impact on family dynamics l Unhappiness l Care available for children l Anxiety l Communication and l Anger collaboration l Confusion l Divided loyalties l Routine and predictability l Containment and security

Children’s coping responses l Keeping adults close l Acceptance and self-reliance l Taking responsibility

Children’s capacity to process emotions

Impact on children’s feelings Impact on family dynamics Feelings ranging from unhappiness and As well as creating a range of distressing anxiety to anger and confusion were evident emotions for young children, this study in the children’s data. Many of the children’s found that domestic violence also has a drawings included excessive heavy shading concurrent disrupting impact on relation - in selective areas or figures, indicating feel - ships and dynamics within the whole family. ings of anxiety (Koppitz, 1968). Five-year-old The children’s representations of family Jane scribbled heavily over the arms, legs showed a number of perceived impacts of and body of (only) the male figure in her domestic violence including; a disruption to KFD. Jane’s older sister Jessica, aged 7, the care available for children; reducing heavily coloured-in just the faces of all the opportunities for communication and family members in her KFD, meaning that collaboration in decision making; forcing she depicted all of her figures without eyes, divided loyalties; disrupting routines and ears or mouths. As she drew she said, ‘I don’t predictability and; reducing parents’ want to put my eyes on’ thus allowing her to capacity to provide containment and security disconnect from perceiving or feeling the for children. traumatic experiences around her.

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Figure 2: Aaron’s Human Figure Drawing. Figure 3: Aaron’s Kinetic Family Drawing.

Children from all five families in the police arriving following an argument study portrayed parents’ capacity to notice between two parents. Dan was keen to point and attune to children’s distress as low. Nine- out that the son in the story had not tele - year-old Andrew completed a story stem phoned the police and was not to blame for about a child crying outside on his own with, them coming. Andrew (age 9) managed to ‘Lewis (a sibling) and daddy get up, cause avoid aligning himself with either parent by they don’t hear the crying and they walk off’. omitting both his mother and his father Gemma (age 6) goes further in her comple - from his KFD. After drawing himself and his tion of the same story, to suggest that the two brothers Andrew told me, ‘I’m going to limited care available to children is directly do two more people and that’s um, my related to mothers investing this time in cousin Dean and then I’ll do… daddy or their partners instead. This was a theme that mummy… That’s a bit unfair. Maybe, maybe was repeatedly raised in many of the our uncle’. mothers’ interviews. The crying child in Several children represented in their Gemma’s story finds her own way home stories their sense that the containment unnoticed. The child’s distress and her usually provided by parents, was missing. arrival home are both ignored by her mother Parental figures were often depicted as who ‘gets up and she (mum) goes to walk in lacking influence, as failing to provide the kitchen. She gets a cup of tea, makes boundaries or as behaving in child-like ways. some to dad and he drinks it all up’. Jane (age 5) depicted a very chaotic scene Children’s confusion over which parent when completing a story stem about a child to remain loyal to, was repeatedly played out spilling her drink. None of the adults in the in their stories and drawings. Dan (age 8) story commented on the child’s behaviour or alternately put the mother and then the found a practical solution to the spilled father into jail when he told a story about the drink. Instead, all of the characters, both

96 Educational & Child Psychology Vol. 31 No. 1 Understanding the emotional impact of domestic violence on young children children and adults, responded by repeat - nFiegvuere r4es: uMlteadn diyn’ so Hveurmpoawne Friignug reth Der a wneinvegr. edly throwing their own drinks and knocking over furniture until the entire house fell down around them.

Children’s coping responses The range of impacts on family dynamics both intensify the difficult and distressing emotions experienced by children and concurrently reduce the support available to them to process their feelings. Children represented in their play and drawing, a number of strategies to manage and cope with this reality. These include attempts to keep adults close; acceptance of the never resulted in overpowering the aggressor domestic violence and developing skills in in the stories. Many of the children also self-reliance; and taking responsibility for demonstrated a very independent attitude to the violence and for their mothers. problem solving in their stories, possibly Many of the children depicted in their reflecting their expectation that adults would stories and drawings children with huge not come to their aid. However, whilst these smiles, who were endlessly forgiving or who approaches may serve children in the short- worked hard to gain praise, making them - term, the long-term reality is that separating selves as easy as possible to love. Whilst this themselves from the support of their care - inclination to please in some cases led to givers is not an option. Not only do children children being very hard-working in school, rely on their parents and want to keep them in over half of the families mothers talked close, but many children also feel responsible about their children asking to stay home for the safety of their mothers, which again, from school or faking illness in efforts to stay draws them back into the family. close to their mothers. Mandy (age 8) indi - All of the children portrayed in their cated her strong desire to keep her mother story stem responses, children intervening close to her by ending the majority of her and stopping arguments between adults. stories with the mother and daughter charac - Dan (age 8) even created extra characters ters spending time alone together and all of such as policemen and lifeguards in his the other story characters disappearing. stories who waited near to the adults whilst Mandy also, very unusually drew two figures children were away at school or in bed. Some in her HFD, rather than a drawing of a single children also took the idea of responsibility human figure as requested (see Figure 4). further to depict their perception that the She told me that the figures were herself and children were to blame for arguments her mother and she filled the rest of the happening in the first place. Seb (age 5) page with numerous large clouds, suggesting continued this theme through several of his anxiety, perhaps about her mother, or about stories, with ‘mummy’ and ‘daddy’ being her own capacity to feel complete without angry with their son for causing arguments her mother (Wohl & Kaufman, 1985). and difficulties. All of the children represented violence in their stories indicating their perception Children’s capacity to process emotions that it was part of family life. Several of the The model suggests that while domestic boys went further by portraying child charac - violence is ongoing, children experience ters making weapons or forming alliances to repeated emotional distress and family protect themselves, although these attempts dynamics continue to be disrupted, meaning

Educational & Child Psychology Vol. 31 No. 1 97 Victoria Thornton that children are left with inadequate coping adolescents who have experienced domestic strategies and ultimately therefore become violence. This finding further refutes any overwhelmed. For some children, their lingering suggestions that children do not internal chaos was represented vividly in the notice or remember domestic violence style of their story-telling and drawing. taking place in their homes. A key theme Others had managed to distance themselves from this study was that living with domestic from their overwhelming feelings, but their violence is emotionally overwhelming for underlying anxieties were evident in their young children. How this emotional experi - drawings and play. All of the mothers ence can be recognised and alleviated by reported changes in their children’s presen - professionals is of key importance. Early tation since they had separated from their quantitative studies highlighted physical violent partners, with children becoming problems such as bedwetting and failure to more expressive in their emotions. The thrive as being prevalent amongst younger increased feelings of stability and security children who have experienced domestic within the family overall were cited by several violence. It seems likely that these ostensibly mothers as creating the window of possibility physical presentations are the route through for this change. However, many of the which emotional turmoil shows itself in mothers acknowledged still feeling over - children who lack the words to voice it or whelmed themselves at times. It is to be who feel compelled to keep the domestic expected, therefore, that children’s own violence they are experiencing a secret. Simi - journeys towards emotional security were larly, a child’s behavioural presentation can still far from complete. provide a useful indicator of their under - lying emotional distress, although emotions Discussion and evaluation such as anxiety or unhappiness may be The data for the present study was drawn displayed through very different behaviours from a small, non-representative sample of depending on the age, gender and person - children. Further exploration is necessary to ality of the child. Play and art offer a further validate the theoretical model and to extend window into the internal emotional world of its utility. The model as it stands has limited a young child, with the potential to signal to capacity to explain individual differences in professionals that a child is struggling with children’s responses to domestic violence, emotional experiences that they are unable with the only mediating factor suggested to name or process alone. being family dynamics. Further research using a larger sample size could also explore Implications for clinical and the impact of other variables, including educational professionals gender and age, on emotional responses to The current study has shown that even a domestic violence. Despite these points for non-clinical sample of children evidence a development, the findings of the present negative emotional impact following study make an interesting contribution to domestic violence. However, younger our understanding of the emotional impact children’s relative lack of cognitive and of domestic violence on younger children. In linguistic skills together with the secrecy and addition, the methodology and the wealth of isolation that often accompanies domestic information gathered through it, clearly violence means that child victims of show that young children can and should be domestic violence are very unlikely to spon - valued and enabled to participate in taneously talk about their experiences. It research. therefore remains for professionals to be Overall the themes found here resonate aware of important indicators of emotional with many of those reported in previous distress in children’s presentation and qualitative research with older children and behaviour. Educational professionals are well

98 Educational & Child Psychology Vol. 31 No. 1 Understanding the emotional impact of domestic violence on young children placed to notice these signs given their strategy being introduced in schools to help extended contact with children and their all children manage their stress and anxiety ability to repeatedly observe young levels is the inclusion of mindfulness prac - children’s behaviour, play and art work. tices within the school day. Mindfulness can Training and consultation to schools be of use to all children, with particular regarding the prevalence of domestic benefits possible for those who are strug - violence and signs to look out for in children gling with high levels of emotional distress. would increase the skills set and confidence Some children will require more inten - of staff to effectively notice and support sive support following domestic violence in these children, and refer on to clinical the form of individual or group therapy from services for those most in need. clinical services. Where appropriate, thera - The model generated suggests that peutic support could also be offered for young children become overwhelmed family groups and mother-child dyads. following domestic violence due to a combi - Boosting the resilience of the family unit and nation of direct trauma combined with indi - the relationships between children and their rect influences on the family support system, mothers is a key part of the healing process. which together leave the child with inade - Family members can be supported to quate coping strategies to effectively process acknowledge and shift away from the nega - their emotions. This process is in line with tive changes that domestic violence has descriptions of ‘complex developmental inflicted on family dynamics, as well as trauma’ which refers to a collection of symp - bringing the role of emotional containment toms resulting from ongoing unmanageable and connection back within the parent-child stress during childhood. Van der Kolk writes relationship. that, without the availability of a caregiver to However help is offered, we need to start modulate the child’s arousal levels, the child by listening to the communications of young is left ‘unable to organise and categorise its children who have lived with domestic experiences in a coherent fashion’. When violence, about their emotional worlds. They these traumatised children present in school are able to show us, using their own perhaps with high levels of emotional methods, if we can tune in and listen. arousal or conversely with extreme anxious withdrawal, their primary need is for an Address for correspondence attuned adult to notice, understand and co- Dr Victoria Thornton regulate their emotional distress. If schools CAMHS, Seaside View, can take this approach there will be benefits Brighton General Hospital, both for children’s emotional well-being and Elm Grove, for their behaviour and capacity to learn in Brighton, BN2 3EW. school. An increasingly popular pro-active Email: [email protected]

Educational & Child Psychology Vol. 31 No. 1 99 Victoria Thornton

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