Statue to Honor Student Affairs Vice-Pres
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ASUSF Senate Votes to Double in Size — More Representation Needed FOGHORSan Francisco N UNIVERSITY OF SAN FRANCISCO Volume 92, Issue 17 April I, 1996 Statue to Honor Student Affairs Vice-Pres. Likeness of Carmen Jordan-Cox to Be Built in New Library Atrium Wedding Bells for Schlegel, KENT GERMAN a student meeting place. Editor-in-Chief Sven Svenson, director of Library Academy of Planning, said that the atrium and Plant Services announced last week statue are a fitting combination. Art President that Vice President of Student Affairs "We want the atrium to be a place Carmen Jordan-Cox will be honored of thought and reflection. We needed CARMEN OGDEN with a topiary statue currently being a likeness of someone students cared Foghorn Staff constructed behind the plywood wall for and admired, someone who in surrounding Gleeson Library. spired awe and homage. Dr. In a press release earlier today, Elisa The statue will be over 20 feet tall Jordan-Cox certainly fits the bill," Stephens, President ofthe Academy and will consist of a metal frame Svenson said. of Art College, and the Rev. John covered with a hedge, resembling the At press time, Jordan-Cox was away Schlegel, S.J., University president, "Chia Don" currently located in with the women's basketball team in announced their impending wedding. Harney Plaza. Chicago and could not be reached for It is a move that critics are calling a "It will be a great work of art," said comment. total union of mind, body and school. SETH KALMAN Ronald Schnittzleburger, Plant Ser The decision to create a likeness of This Gleeson Library construction zone will soon feature a 20-foot statue Their pro vices director of Lawn Jordan-Cox came after a campus wide posal resulted Ornamentation. "It will be quite an search. Hundreds of nominations ASUSF Vice President of Statuary Cox with a statue because of her from a meeting addition to the new library wing." were received, ranging from Campus Affairs and committee chair said that tremendous devotion to students. of tax, law, ac The statue will tower over the Ministry staff to Marriott employees. the choice for the statue was difficult There is hardly anyone else on cam creditation and planned atrium of the library which The nominations were then for but the final decision was unani pus who works so hard to represent loophole ex has been designed as a dramatic point warded to a student and faculty mous. student concerns. She was perfect." perts brought "We wanted to honor Dr. Jordan- Please see "Statue," page two of entrance to the building as well as committee who made the decision. together at the Elisa Stephens request of the Stephens and Schlegel. They hired a Alambo Resigns, Chuck Takes Over group of lawyers to formulate a plan that could accredit both schools with TIFFANY MALESHEFSKI president of ASUSF. I'm sure mommy and daddy pay for, "I deserve a big bender," Gallagher out forcing either school to improve Foghorn Staff "It was bound to happen," Gallagher he was out there protesting the tuition explained. "I tried to buy offthe stu their services for the students. explained. "Do you realize how many hike last year." dents last year, now it is their turn to The wedding would dissolve the Yesterday ASUSF President George asses I've kissed since I've been here? Gallagher also aims to take the funds try and buy off me." lines that separate the schools. In a Alambo resigned from office, handing I'm the only real politician on this that have been set aside for next year's USF will also see the birth of a new Please see "Leaders Form Union," page two over the position to Vice President of campus." proposed "Superfund" and have a big publication on-campus, "The Daily Public Relations Chuck Gallagher. Already plans have been made to party for his graduating class. Please see "Chuck's Luck," page two USFVPs to "I just couldn't assume a role that reconstruct the current format ofthe would be better filled by a man of such senate. Take Pay Cut dignity and stature," Alambo said. Currently, the senate operates on a $3 Billion Grant Pushes "Eversince last April when I was elected democratic system in which each sena- Page nine to the office of president I carried so tor is allowed a voice; however, for Germ-Free Tomorrow much guilt with me knowing Chuck Gallagher soon hopes to replace this system with a dicta VIVA CHAN press conference in the McLaren Marriott torship style of News Editor Complex. 'Today the ASUSF government. "As we move into the 21 st century, Lowers Prices senate, tomorrow "What the hell Plant Services will soon install state- we are making progress in providing Page seventeen the world!' do I care what ev of-the-art toilet seat covers in a safer, cleaner environment on cam eryone thinks?" bathroom stalls throughout campus pus. We need to stay vigilant about — Chuck Gallagher asked. "I as part of the Building a Aerial Tramway Gallagher, have all the power Germ-Free Tomorrow cam New ASUSF President now. All of it! Do paign. to Lone Mtn. you hear me? Noth- The prestigious Page forty-five ing can stop me Lipooeyama Foundational as was the better man." now.' recently awarded USF with Gallagher hasn't wasted anytime in Students across the campus were a $3 billion grant to assist Are You utilizing his new world-wielding pleasedwithAlambo'sdecisiontotake with the first phase of the power. over as president ofthe senate. project. Ready for "Today the ASUSF senate, tomor- "I admire Chuck's down to earth "Two years ago, I had a row the world!" Gallagher exclaimed, personality," said astrology major vision — a seat cover for every toi the silent threat lurking in the micro Ever since his freshman year, Kerry da Keg. "Even though he has a let," the Rev. John Schlegel, S.J. scopic crevices ofour basins." Football? Gallagher has dreamed of being the BMW and a gorgeous apartment that University president, said in today's Please see "Designer Toilets," page two Page sixty NEWS FOGHORN Thumbs Up for Designer Toilets 92ND YEAR SLAVES Continued from front page ogy major Shi-Shi Fairbanks III said. "Every chemists work around the clock just to find the 'That's almost a fact. Meanwhile, there was a peaceful demon time I gotta go, I run all the way to my studio perfect blend," Plant Services Director Glen Viva Chan stration outside the press conference. Fifteen across the street on Golden Gate. Not any Loomis said. "We're not talking pinto beans student protesters lining up along McLaren more." here. We're talking science at its best." KENT S. GERMAN were chanting, "End the discrimination. Mi The new permanent seat covers de Minister of Propaganda crobes are our friends." signed with a yellow pattern of daisies JAMES TEDFORD Reactions toward the permanent toilet seat are made of polyurethane rubber with Muddling Editor fixtures at USF were a mixed bag. Some didn't heat sensors implanted onto them. mind the minor inconveniences ofthe regular When activated, tiny vessels on the JEFFREY COLEMAN toilets and preferred keeping them. seats spray amortized baking soda onto He's in Chicago "That's a pity. My quads were getting a the surface. Gallons of'Pleasures,' Estee BORED EDITORS good work out from squatting," said Bif Lauder's new perfume, were added into Cassup, a psychology lecturer. "Do you know the solution for fragrance. Hot air at VIVA CHAN how empowering that is?" Cassup is teaching tachments blow the surface dry when The Diva the user flushes the toilet. Seven months ago, Schlegel FENNY OLSON Anal-retentives can now sit in confidence had created a task force, Sani Flies the Foghorn Jet tary and Anal-retentive for a Fresher With the coveted Lipooeyama Grant se TIFFANY MALESHEFSKI Environment (S.A.F.E.), to look cured, the President has given the green light Don't Piss Her Off into the feasibility of the project. for the project by awarding San Francisco- The task force found that a major based Tidy Bowl Inc. the contract. HEATHER WHITAKER ity of students and staff members The company is currently negotiating with Let Her Go Home were fed up with fishing out keys, the S.A.F.E. task force on another proposal. A NIALL ADLER pencils and books that accidentally spokesperson for Tidy Bowl Inc. said that the Pres. Tedford Fan Club fell into toilet bowls whenever they University can earn 20 percent of all revenue struggled to rip tufts of tissue from generated from carrying advertisement on the SUZANNE GOLTZ Schematics of the super pooper RollMastr® dispensers to use as seat new seat covers. Staff Legal Expert covers. Sliding Plexiglas would be attached to the Some critics complained that the new sys KIMBERLY DELMORE the new course offered this semester, 'Playing new seat covers where rotating ads would be JASON MCGRATH Patty Cake with the Inner Child.' tem costed too much. A maintenance official displayed. KATIE MIHARA Others said the high-cost installments were defended the price. As for now, the current contract is secured. CARMEN OGDEN long overdue. "Considering the amount of perfume we "What a relief," President of Tidy Bowl Inc. JAIME STARLING "What a fabulous idea," junior cosmetol have to pump into the septic system and having Dookie Filkins said. Crappy Editors LAST AND LEAST Schools, Leaders Form Union BENJAMIN BARSOTTI Bald Continued from front page the way for a bold new tomorrow. My ex telephone interview earlier this week, Stephens ample will bring the rest ofmy order into the PAT BHOOLSUWAN said, "This is going to be a great move for the 21st century.