Sandra Bernhard, Who Has Excused Herself Beenmissing from Bernhard'soeuvre for Years
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CONTRIBUTORS TOM 0'NEILL is a contributingeditor at Us magazine,where he has profiledAnthony Hopkins, Garry Shandling, and Rupert Everett, among others.O'Neillgarnered an ExceptionalMerit Media Award from the National Women'sPolitical Caucus and Radcliffe College for his1995 profile of Lily m Tomlin,"The Incredible Shrinking Woman of SaturdayNight Live." pAT CAL|f lA joinsOUT as a veterancommentator on gay and lesbian culture.She is a columnistfor Girlfriends,a contributing writer at POZ,and the authorof manybooks, most recently Sex Changes: The Politics of Trans- genderismand DieselFuel. "Provocafive is an overusedword," Califia notes, W butthat's exactly what she plans to bein hermonthly column. ERIC pRYOR is a creativedirector and stylist who has been creating "storiesand atmospheres" for magazines since 1987, when he moved to New Yorkfrom a farmin Missouri.Pryor says "people should wear whatever makes themfeel sexy and comfortable," although that doesn't excuse colored high- W topsneakers on menor blackballet shoes on women. LISA KENNEDY comesto OUTfrom Us, where she was managing editor for two years.Prior to that, shewas the featureseditor at TheVillage Voice. Kennedyis "intriguedby the new OUT" and enjoys "the stir it is causing." Butshe is mostexcited about bringing quality reporting and feature stories to rca lesbianand gay audience. She is alsoat workon a bookabout adoption. JASPER TAMEg learnedhis craft "here, there, and everywhere," and the - resultsof thiseducation can be seen in numerouspublications, including - .ffiRaygunand The lndependent. The London- and New York-based photographer triesto followhis "instincts but stay open to themoment" and is at workon a collectionof imagestentatively titled Ihe UnitedStates of Generica. - CRIST;NA RATHBOTn is a journalistwhose work has appeared in numerouspublications, including New York's Daily Newsandthe Miami Herald. Sheis the authorof Onthe OutsideLooking ln: A Yearln an lnner-CityHigh - Schoot,published last February by Grove Atlaniic Press. Rathbone was raised M in Englandand currently calls, with a Britishlilt, Brooklynhome. OneHot Mama Witha Broadwayshoq an upcomingnovel, and a newwoman in herlife {her daughter}, $andraBernhard proves she's still here,damn it-and as fiery as ever. Wfittenby Tom 0'Neill Thesix-week-old infant sits in a swingingrocker mixof pop-cultureassassination-she goes after in the livingroom of the modestSan Fernando everyonefrom Courtney Love ("What plastic sur- Valleyhome, attended by hernanny, a surpris- geonis goingto fix all the scarsin yourheart, inglyyoung and beautiful dark-skinned woman baby?")to superficialsupermodels ("When asked 'lt's withan expressionlessgaze fixed entirely on her laboutVersace's murderl, Naomi said, beena charge.Except for the gentle rocking motion of teniblething...for me."')-and scathing commen- theswing, they nearly resemble a Gauguin, so still tary(she locates the demise of mankindin the in- andpeaceful on this hot afternoon. And then all ventionof *69),Damn /f/, which opens this month at hell breaksloose from somewhere else in the Broadway'sBooth Theatre, is the kindof workthat's house.Sandra Bernhard, who has excused herself beenmissing from Bernhard'soeuvre for years. to clearher throat in the bathroom,has appar- entlyencountered some resistance with a stub- Sinceher lacerating 1983 screen debut in Martin bornpiece of humanmatter in herlarynx. "Don't Scorsese'sThe King of Comedy,Bernhard's ca- youhate that?1" she shouts, in betweenexcava- reerhas experienced occasional highs (the suc- tionattemots that sound like the Three Tenors cessfulstage run of WithoutYou) followed by in a spittingcompetition. "When it getscaught invariablelows (its off-the-markfilm adaptation betweenyour nose and your throat and you can't two years later). Despitenumerous W roles getit out?"Finally emerging triumphant, Bernhard (Roseanne,Chicago Hope, Ally McBeal) and films runsher fingers through her uncombed tresses (the recentlyreleased Somewhere in the City), (sheis wearingno makeup,a wrinkledtie-dyed Bernhard'sbest work has always been culled T-shirt,shorts, and sneakers) and plops down into fromher own life. Her cynical monologues and a chair."Please do talk about that," she says, eye- thinlyveiled autobiographical tomes (her third, ingthe tape recorder, "me hawking up a loogie'" MayI KissYou on the Lips,Miss Sandra?, is due in November,from RobWeisbach Books) have Whilethere's no needto worryabout Bernhard alwayspushed boundaries as well as buttons. becominga conventional mom anytime soon, one thingis certainlygleaned from an afternoonin Sofor many,it cameas no surprisewhen the hercompany. After a longrun of fabulousparties, comedianannounced last spring that shewas glamorousglobe-trotting, and turbulentrela- pregnantand refusedto revealthe identityof tionships(she's broken off with,among others, thefather or the method of conception.Appear- clubczar lngrid Casares, Sports lllustratedswim- ing in a truncatedHB0 versionof Damnlt! this suit modelPatricia Velasquez, and, of course, summerin a full-lengthsee-through dress that Madonna),the 43-year-oldBernhard has, with clungto herotherwise naked (and seven-months thearrival of herdaughter, Cicely Yasin (on the pregnant)body like SaranWrap, Bernhard Fourthof July,no less),found in motherhood madeii clearthat her comfortzone wasn't whatshe hadn't been able to graspin theworld aboutto be compromisedby hernew role as ex- at large:a mooring."lt justso happens I've raised pectantmother. Much of this shecredits to her a lot of childrenwho happento be in adult's studyof cabala,a medievalform of .Jewishmysti- clothing,"she explains, "So I figured,well, why cismthat has largely overtaken her personal and notgive something to mybaby that I've given to spirituallife and which accounts for herability a lot of otherpeople who really haven't ended to cleanseherself of past transgressions,she up beingin mylife anymore?" says,providing an honest,open space to haveher baby-andreturn to goodwork. Thebirth of Cicely,shortly after what amounted to a careercomeback for Bernhardlast spring, It'sa topicshe'll revisit throughout the afternoon. marksthe dawnof a new era in the singer- Butfirst she veers back to hernew favorite sub- comedian-writer-actress'slife. She receivedher ject:the child in the nextroom, "You know," says bestreviews in yearsfor l'm StillHere...Damn lt!, thenew mom, "the thing I likebest is burpingher, herfirst off-Broadwayappearance since 1988's givingher the littlerubs and taps on the back. similarlyexplosive Without You l'm Nothing.A SometimesI end up burpingbefore her, but she Photographedbyt{ick 0tley Styledby Pau[ Stura 69 burpsas loud as I do."Bernhard smiles proudly. "She OUT:Some well-known single moms have opted for burps,she farts, she laughs, she eats, she sleeps, and spermbanks so they don't have to worryabout the fa- she'sthe prettiest girl I've ever had in mybed." therturning up in fiveyears seeking custody. Do you andthe father have some type of contractualagreement 0UT:Cicely Yasin. Where'd Yasin come from? protectingyou from that? SANDRABERNHARD: lt'sMoroccan. lt means "messenger BERNHARD:No,no, this was a divinepresence. lGiggles) of goodnews" and "girl with a beautifulsmile." 'Nufsaid. OUT:And Cicely? 0UTrWho does Cicely look more like, you or herfather? BERNHARD:lLaughs) Actually, my ex-girlfriend and I BERi{HARD:lGrinning widelyl She looks exactly like mel werewatching a documentaryon orangutans,and Herfeet look like her father's. therewere these two babies who'd been mauled and 0UT:Was it easyto conceive? weresaved in thissanctuary in Borneo.These orang- BERNHARD:Uh-huh, very. utanswere just the cutestthings in the world,and 0UT:Like, first time? they namedthem Cicely and Gwendolyn.I always BERNHARD:Yeah. Well, when things are spiritually likedthe name Cicely; it's just so English and proper. aligned,you know... 0UT:I wonderhow Cicely's going to reactwhen she OUT:You mean the planets? growsup and learns she was named after an orangutan. BERNHARD:No,not at all.Within myself. I havedone BERNHARD:0h,she'll love it. They're beautiful animals. a lotof intensespiritual cleansing and cleared out a 0UT:ls beinga momeverything you expected? lot of negativityand bullshit. il actuallyconceivedl BERNHARD:I didn't really have any expectations. There's theday after Yom Kippur, which you fast on. So I did reallyno way to knowhow it's going to feeluntil you have a majorfast and just really looked inside myself and thebaby, You have to seewhat the baby's like, because decidedthere were certain things I wantedto clear sometimesyou jive with your kid andsometimes you outof my life,certain behaviors, certain ways of relat- don't.I completelyjive with her. She's a hoot. ingto people.Relationships, indulgences, weaknesses, OUT:How'd the delivery go? thingsthat holdyou back from success on all levels. BERNHARDTWell, I hada C-section.There were some OUT:What would hold you back from success? complicationsafterward, so it waskind of intense. BERNHARD:Being in destructiverelationships and also Forme, not for her. justhaving uncertainty about things. You always have OUT:Were you in gravedanger? to havetotal certainty that whatever's happening isthe BERNHARDTKind of. lCarefully)There was a tension, rightthing. Once you get there, things really begin to kindof a dangerousmoment. For the doctors, not for me. revealthemselves. I wasconscious ona higherplane and I knewI was0K. OUTrBesides your study of cabala,did anythingelse 0UT:Was anyone with you? helpyou reach this place? Therapy for