You’re Not Alone You’re Not Alone

No Matter What You Hear, No Matter How Things Seem, You Are Not Alone. FUNDED BY : AIDS TRUST OF AUSTRALIA, FRUITS IN SUITS, LOTTERYWEST, COMMONWEALTH DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND AGED CARE

Growing up in a world that seems to revolve around being attracted to the opposite sex can be tough when you are thinking about liking people of the same sex. No wonder when people start to identify their feelings for the same sex, life can become rather confusing and complicated. Who do you turn to? What information do you need? Where can you go? Are these feelings OK?

All of us involved with It takes time to know who this book have gone you are. It is OK to "I suppose I see the people around me in two through these feelings question your sexuality, groups, those who can and experiences. It can it’s OK to be unsure and understand and cherish be overwhelming when its OK to take your time. who I am and my sexuality, you start to realise that Many young people have and those that are not yet you might be attracted to similar feelings to you, it that lucky." Trish, 18 people who are the same is all part of finding out about yourself. sex as you. And in a "I always felt different, it world where almost In this book we have was not until later I found everything is geared gathered together the a name for how I felt. For towards people who are most common questions me, being gay is being attracted to the opposite asked about being 100% me, not just 50% sex, finding information attracted to someone of me." David, 19 can be difficult. We hope the same sex, or about this book helps clarify gay, lesbian and bisexual "I felt really alone and your feelings and provides people and attempted to afraid for so long. I tried you with some provide some answers. to ignore my feelings and You’re Not Alone information and support. You have taken a big pretend to be someone else. Then I met other When reading through step just by choosing to gays and lesbians who this book, there are three read this book. Feel were happy, successful, Special thanks to all the Produced by the ‘Here for Life’ proud of yourself and Copyright: ‘Here for Life’ things to consider : and were achieving their young people who shared Youth Sexuality Project Team: trust your feelings. Youth Sexuality Project It’s OK to be attracted dreams. I knew I could themselves through the Graham Brown, Pia Coates and 1997, WA AIDS Council. to someone of the same too!" Peter, 20 comments and photographs Melissa Gillett. Not to be reprinted or sex. Being attracted to If you’d like to talk to in this book. reproduced without people of the same sex is someone about your "I didn’t know who I was permission. a natural and healthy way feelings, get more or what I was about. I to be. information about sexuality didn’t think there was any A joint project of the Gay Thanks to all the young Revised and Reprinted by or gender expression or point to my life. Then I and Lesbian Counselling people at the Freedom Freedom Centre staff and You’re not alone. There would like to meet other found some info, and met Service (WA) and the WA Centre, Breakaway, Groovy volunteers 2003 are thousands of young young people who feel the other lesbians and gay AIDS Council. Funded by the Girls, Other Voices, 1526, people who have been Photography by Nadine same, you can call (08) guys who felt good about Commonwealth Department Parents and Friends of through this and many 9482 0000 or write to Toussaint – ph: 0412 866 658 themselves. I could talk of Health and Family Lesbians and Gays (WA), the more wondering about The Freedom Centre, PO about my feelings and my [email protected] Services ‘Here for Life’ youth workers and their sexuality and Box 1510, West Perth questions with other Youth Suicide Prevention counsellors and everyone else Design by Lauren Willhelm, whether they are the only 6872 or email young people who felt the Initiative. who assisted with this book. Designmine Pty Ltd one. [email protected]. same." Angela, 17 Am I The Only One With These Feelings? There are thousands of other people who feel attracted to people of the same sex as themselves. They live across the nation and worldwide and are a part of every culture’s history.You are not the only one. I Think I Might Be

Gay, Lesbian Or Many people think of try to change a person’s Bisexual; But sexuality as a range of sexual orientation (USA the same sex may not mean sexual orientations. At one Psychiatric Association; Before we get started we’d like to clarify What If I Don’t you’re gay, lesbian or bisexual end of the range are USA Psychological the meaning of some of the words used in either – just as one or two people who are attracted Association; British Know For Sure? only to the same sex, at Psychiatric Association) this book. sexual experiences with someone of the opposite sex the other end of the range You’ll know when you know. are people who are Heterosexual : People whose sexual and romantic may not mean you’re Why Do I Feel Attracted It could take a while, and attracted only to the feelings are primarily for the opposite sex. exclusively heterosexual. there’s no need to rush. opposite sex, and at To People Of My Own You do not need to be various stages in between Sex? Homosexual : People whose sexual and romantic feelings Some gay, lesbian or bisexual are primarily for the same sex. People who feel this way sexually active with other are people who are people say that from the Young people often ask, often identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual. people to recognise or attracted to both sexes. time they were very young "Why am I attracted to understand your sexuality. So, wherever you are on they "felt different". They had people of the same sex?" Gay : People whose sexual and romantic feelings are Your feelings and your that continuum, you are crushes on friends of their It’s interesting that not primarily for the same sex. In Australia this can mean emotional and physical clearly not alone. Some men or women, though tends to be used mainly for men own gender – and no one many people ask, "Why attractions will help tell you estimates say that one in who identify themselves as gay. seemed to be talking about am I attracted to people who you are. every ten people is gay, that. Often it took a while to lesbian or bisexual. of the opposite sex?" The Lesbian : Women whose sexual and romantic feelings put a name to their feelings Your sexuality will become Estimates vary depending answer is the same to are primarily for other women. – to begin to think of clearer over time. Don’t on how comfortable people both of these questions worry if you aren’t sure. are in reporting their Bisexual or Bi : Refers to people whose sexual and themselves as gay, lesbian or Our society is often looking Being young is a time of feelings in a survey. romantic feelings are for both men and women. bisexual. But when they for a cause for something started thinking in those figuring out what works for that is different so that it Homophobia : An individual’s or society’s words, it made sense – it you and strong feelings and “There are gay, lesbian or can be "fixed". Being misunderstanding, ignorance or fear of gay, lesbian or fitted in with the feelings they experimentation are often bisexual people all around attracted to people of the bisexual people. had growing up. part of that. In time, you’ll you – you just can’t always same sex is not find that you’re drawn mostly tell who they are.There are something that needs to Transgender : People who do not identify with the sex or Many people don’t begin to to men or to women or to so many gay people who be fixed, in the same way gender with which they were born with. This has to do discover their sexual with the feeling of not being born into the right physical both – and you’ll know then. are not "obvious" that it is that being attracted to attraction until much later body. You don’t have to label easy to forget they are someone of the opposite into adulthood and it can be yourself today or ever. there. Being gay is natural sex is not something that just as confusing then. Coming Out : A phrase that can mean something because you are following needs to be fixed. different to everyone. It has to do with developing an At some point, almost the instincts nature gave awareness that you are gay, lesbian or bisexual. This We live in a world that everybody gets a "crush" on you." Adam, 21 often leads to being more open with others about sexual "I guess it is hard to know. often fears and questions identity. someone of the same sex difference. This is the like a great teacher or a You’ve just got to go with your gut feeling – it’s Is It Natural To Be Gay, reason for racism, sexism Sexual Orientation and Sexuality : The direction of sexual friend’s older sister or generally right." Leah, 18 Lesbian Or Bisexual? and other forms of and romantic attractions. For some this is mainly brother. Your closest discrimination. Being towards people of the opposite sex, for some it is mainly relationship may be your best Being gay, lesbian or young and different can be towards people of the same sex and for some it is "Be very honest with friend of the same sex. But bisexual is as natural, hard, but everyone is towards either sex. yourself – who do you love? none of that means you’re normal and healthy as different in some way. Who could you love? I did a gay, lesbian or bisexual. being heterosexual.The vast Queer : A term encompassing many different alternative lot of reading before I majority psychologists and Being attracted to people sexualities and gender indentities: bisexual, lesbian, gay, One or two sexual realised it about myself." psychiatrists consider it of the same sex is just transgendered, straight etc. experiences with someone of Adam, 21 unethical and unrealistic to one part of who you are. Famous Lesbian, Rev. Troy Perry, founder of the Metropolitan Community Churches Transgender, Bisexual Sandra Bernhard, comedian or Gay People Christopher Smith, member of the British Parliament Patrick White, Australian author Gertrude Stein, writer Robyn Archer, Australian singer I Thought Gay, Lesbian Or Bisexual Christopher Ciccone, artist and set Ian Roberts, Australian rugby player with designer; brother of Madonna, Super League People Acted In Certain Ways. Craig Claiborne, food writer Giz Watson, Western Australian Member Karen Clark, Minnesota state legislator If I Don’t Fit A Stereotype, Am I Still Gay, of Parliament Things You Hear About Gay, John Corigliano, classical composer Lesbian Or Bisexual? Dr Bob Brown, Australian Federal Lesbian and Bisexual People Senator Michelle Crone, comedian Monique Brumby, Australian Singer Gasparino Damata, Brazilian writer MYTH : Gay men and MYTH : Bisexuals just can’t "I don’t seem to fit into are about sexuality and K.D. Lang, singer Justin Fashanu, British pro soccer star lesbians do not have long make up their mind. any stereotypes, but that sex. We often hear that term relationships. Kerryn Phelps, Australian Medical Jean-Paul Gaultier, French fashion FACT : The point is they is okay. If people don’t gay men want to be Association President designer FACT : Gay, lesbian and have! Sexuality is a range approve of me not fitting women and lesbians want Hon. Justice Michael Kirby, Supreme Sir John Gielgud, award-winning actor bisexual relationships do between exclusively gay and in, it is their problem. And to be men. This is Court Judge Bruce Hayes, Olympic gold medallist in work. Long term exclusively heterosexual, and confusing sexuality with if people think I’m not gay Sir Robert Helpmann, dancer and swimming partnerships are not rare many people are naturally in issues about gender. because I don’t fit a choreographer Nona Hendryx, pop singer at all. Many long term between. Everyone has a stereotype, well I guess Transgender (or Julie McCrossin, ABC TV presenter Bob and Rod Jackson-Paris, pro same sex couples may not right to be who they are. I’ll have to start a new transexual) people do not Molly Meldrum, rock music commentator models/bodybuilders access gay venues or stereotype all for myself!" frequent "the scene" and identify with the sex or Michaelangelo, artist Marc Jacobs, fashion designer MYTH : Lesbians do not Leah, 18 gender they were born therefore are not as visible Billie Jean King, pro tennis champion Judi Conelli, Singer/Actor get Sexually Transmissible with. This has to do with to the community. Paul Capsis, Performer Infections ( STIs). the feeling of not being Elton John, pop star “I was amazed at the Jimmy Somerville, Singer/songwriter Melissa Ethridge, singer FACT : Lesbians are diversity of gay people.” born into the right MYTH : Gay, lesbian and Freddy Mercury, singer diverse, practice a wide physical body. Confusion Rock Hudson, actor bisexual people grow up to Adam, 21 range of sexual activities about one’s gender is a Liberace, pianist and entertainer be lonely old people. Martina Navratalova, pro tennis and can get STIs. very real issue, but does champion Peter Wherret, Australian racing driver FACT : Lesbians, gay men not necessarily have and TV personality Gay, lesbian or bisexual Vita Sackville-West, author and bisexuals do develop anything to do with Peter Allan, Australian MYTH : All gay men get people, like all people are Roddy Bottum, keyboardist of long lasting relationships sexuality or sexual singer/songwriter/entertainer AIDS. diverse. Gay, lesbian or Faith No More and friendships. Many gay, orientation. Being gay, David Marr, Australian journalist FACT : AIDS is not a gay bisexual people are young Janis Joplin, singer lesbian and bisexual people lesbian or bisexual Rita May Brown, writer men’s disease. No virus is and old, Asian, David Bowie, rock star and actor do have children. Also, doesn’t make you smart enough to be able to Aboriginal, European, Portia De Rosia, actor many gay lesbian & bisexual transexual or Isabel Miller, author tell what a person’s sexuality African and from every John Hyde, politician people have good transgender, and being Boy George, pop star is. It is the safety of the other nationality, religion Brian Greig, politician relationships with their activities that a person and culture. They may be transexual or Amanda Bearse, actress families. Bob Downe, actor practises that places him or deaf, or use a wheel transgender doesn’t Indigo Girls, musicians make you gay, lesbian or Rupert Everett, actor her at risk of HIV infection. chair. They are Cole Porter, songwriter MYTH : Gay men are more bisexual. If you are Alan Turing, computer inventor construction workers, William S. Burroughs, novelist likely to sexually abuse teachers, doctors, dealing with confusion Prince Heinrich of Prussia children. MYTH : All gay men have Sophie B Hawkins, singer students, secretaries, about your gender, this Frederick the Great anal sex. can be a very confronting Joan Baez, singer FACT : The vast majority of business people, police Pjotr Iljitch Tchaikovsky, composer FACT : Gay men are time. There are many child sexual abuse occurs officers, politicians and Midge Costanza, White House aid to Alexander the Great, ancient conqueror diverse, and have services you can contact USA President Carter, heterosexually and is usually athletes. E.M. Forster, writer preferences like anyone to help you with these William Yang, Australian photographer associated with the home Stereotypes and myths Sappho, ancient poet environment. else. Some practice anal feelings. The information Dorothy Allison, novelist sex, some do not. exist because of in this book may also James Baldwin, writer Quentin Crisp, writer, actor and humorist ignorance and assist you. For further Rudolf Nureyev, dancer MYTH : Homosexuality is There is no such thing as assumptions. Some Ellen DeGeneres, comedian gay, lesbian or bisexual hair, support, information and Marlene Dietrich, actress contagious. people fit stereotypes, other contacts, call your Greg Louganis, actor & three-time shoes, clothes or jobs. Olympic gold medallist in diving Mykal Judge, priest FACT : People cannot some don’t. Trust your local Gay and Lesbian feelings and be yourself. George Michael, singer "catch" a sexuality. People Community Services (see Susan Love, breast-cancer surgeon Cary Grant, actor cannot be "recruited" to be Many of the stereotypes contacts list at the back Oscar Wilde, writer gay, lesbian, bisexual or and misunderstandings of this booklet). Virginia Woolf, writer AND MANY, MANY MORE… heterosexual. What About The Law? What About Religion? As the law stands now, the following applies : "No matter what people In Western Australia: say, you are normal. it is legal for couples of the same sex to show God created you, and affection in public, in the same way as it is legal for you were made in this heterosexual couples to show affection in public; image. You have a it is illegal to have sexual intercourse in public purpose, and being gay, places, regardless of whether it is between a man and lesbian or bisexual is woman, or between people of the same sex. only part of it." The age of consent Nathan, 19. is 16 years for any person engaging in sexual intercourse, in private. Regardless of their gender or Gay, lesbian and bisexual sexuality. people have a wide varies in different states, so it is important to check range of spiritual and out what the laws are in your local area. religious beliefs. Some religious Equal Opportunity institutions are coming to accept the idea that Sexual orientation is grounds for protection under lesbian, gay and bisexual the Equal Opportunity Act. This means that you cannot people are part of their be discriminated against for being gay or lesbian. congregation and The following resources can provide you with more therefore should be information: allowed to worship. Equal Opportunity Commission If this is an important (08) 9216 3900 / 1800 198 149 issue to you or your www.equalopportunity.wa.gov.au family, there is a list of books at the end of this Gay & Lesbian Equality booklet you may wish to ww.galewa.asn.au read to assist in Will I Ever Have Sex? Sexually contact list at the end of this You may wish to contact one of the following groups in Perth to exploring and developing Will I Ever Have A Transmissible booklet. For an up to date guide get more information and to the law relating to gay, your beliefs and Relationship? Infections (STIs) Remember : resources. Information for other lesbian and bisexual understandings. states is at the back of this If you choose to have sex you cannot tell by looking at people in Western You may have a lot of mixed booklet. Your local Gay and someone if they have a STI; and feelings about having sex with someone, regardless Australia check out: Lesbian Community of whether they are the WA AIDS Council www.equalityrules.info.au and/or having a relationship always use protection, such Services can help you same sex or opposite sex (08) 9482 0000 with someone else. This is as a condom, dam (square to you, you should think find faith communities normal for everyone. Lesbian, piece of latex) or latex gloves Gay and Lesbian Community Youth Legal Service about STIs, including HIV who welcome gay, gay and bisexual people do with water based lubricant to Services (08) 9420 7201 08 9202 1688 / have positive sexual / AIDS. 1800 199 006 lesbian and bisexual keep both you and your partner Freedom Centre people. relationships and experiences Same sex couples who safe. (08) 9228 0354 that include genuine feelings of have safe sex are at no affection and pride in their greater risk of STIs than If you think you may have FPWA (08) 9227 6871 sexual identity. The more you heterosexual couples who contracted an STI or HIV, there AIDSline (08) 9429 9944 are able to value yourself, take have safe sex. To find out are places you can go (if you do Quarry Youth Health Centre your time, and use your best about safe sex practises not feel comfortable seeing your (08) 9430 4544 judgement, the more satisfying for same sex couples family doctor) for testing, your sexual experiences are conatact your local treatment, counselling and Or your nearest Sexual Health likely to be. STI/AIDS council (see support. Clinic Do I Have To Be friendship with every gay, bisexual people are involved, Part Of The Gay, lesbian or bisexual person from bootscooting, outdoor you meet. Nor do you activities and art events to Lesbian Or Bisexual have to abandon non-gay, "clubbing". It is often best to Community Or lesbian or bisexual friends, join in with the activities "Scene"? your existing lifestyle and that you think you will enjoy. interests or anything else. "I see the community as a It is up to you how much Interacting with other smorgasbord of activities. I you get involved in the people dealing with similar pick things I want to do and activities that are part of feelings may help to clarify gay, lesbian and bisexual your experiences and leave things on the table communities. You don’t thoughts. There is a wide for others to enjoy. I don’t have to expect that you variety of activities in like everything on offer." will form deep bonds of which gay, lesbian and Sally, 20

courageous does not hurting ourselves. We and their lives. The truth mean you aren’t scared. may feel very isolated, is that you are a special, fearful, and depressed, unique and valuable How Can I Deal to make things better for call the W.A. Gay and Even when you are comfortable with your especially if we have not person and deserve to be everyone. Lesbian Community With People Who same sex attractions and talked to anyone about our treated – and treat Services (08) 9420 7201 Hassle Me Because No matter the reason, feelings, life may continue feelings. yourself – with respect They Think I Am whether you are at school, call the W.A. Police to present problems and If you are feeling and tenderness. challenges. Don’t judge Gay, Lesbian Or work, TAFE, University, Diversity Unit depressed, afraid or movies, shopping or just (08) 9356 0510 yourself for feeling thinking of hurting Bisexual? depressed or scared. hanging out, harassment yourself, talk to a trusted What Do and abuse should not be Everyone needs to think Many young people dealing person about your feelings Some people in society tolerated. However this about their safety. with their sexuality have can sometimes or call one of these Sometimes it is easier to joined groups, participated discriminate and is even does not mean you have numbers ignore people who try to in courses or called the violent towards people to take it on by yourself. Kids Helpline hassle you. However, Gay and Lesbian who are seen to be There are factors like your always remember, you 1800 55 1800 different. However, own safety and well being Community Services. They have a right to feel and be found that meeting or attitudes about sexuality to consider. Crisis Care have been, over time, safe. Nobody deserves talking to other young (08) 9325 1111 Some suggestions include: violence or harassment, people with the same changing for the better Samaritans tell friends you trust, you are not responsible experiences helped them and are more positive in YouthLine many places. There are report it to someone in for other people’s to feel less alone. Having (08) 9388 2500 / also many groups working authority, attitudes. the support of people who understand can help you 1800 198 313 feel better about yourself. Gay and Lesbian I Get Really Depressed Sometimes… feelings. We all tend to Community fear or hate what we don’t "Things that work for me Services (08) "When I am depressed my It's not easy to realise that understand. when I am feeling down: 9420 7201 mind is like a prison you may be or are gay, The majority of people who going for a walk; spending decorated with lesbian or bisexual. We all You don’t have have accepted their time doing something I disappointment, hear the terrible jokes, the enjoy; ringing or visiting a to work through frustration, pain, boredom sexuality and themselves hurtful stereotypes and good friend; seeking out it alone. Many and sadness. But it is also are happy and would not the wrong ideas that counselling if I need to gay, lesbian and positive as it gets me to want to be any other way. circulate about gay, talk." Rachael,19 bisexual people question whether I want to lesbian or bisexual Acknowledging a part of have thought about be alone and fearful. It people.. Wes may worry yourself that goes against suicide, but through gives me the courage to that we are not normal. what most people feel When we feel like we have seeking assistance reach out for what I really We may worry that people comfortable with is a to hide who we really are, and support are now want from life." Owen, 19 will find out about our brave thing to do. Being it can make us feel like happy with their sexuality "I think coming out is a I Think I have Something to Tell You... combination of admitting to yourself and confiding Questions To Consider Before Telling Someone About Your Feelings And Sexuality in friends or family that you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or just feel Many people involved in this 4. Are you knowledgeable aggressive and defensive 10. Is it your decision to attracted to people of book have decided to tell about homosexuality? moment. tell someone? someone significant about the same sex as you." People’s response will Yes. The decision should be their feelings. Others have 7. Can you be patient? Leah, 18 generally be based on yours, however this is not had a loved one share their stereotypes and myths about People often require time always the case. Try not to feelings with them. From all to deal with this "To me, coming out is gay, lesbian or bisexual feel pressured by people their experiences we have information if they haven’t about discovering and people. Doing some reading who think that "everyone gathered some suggested considered it prior to your must come out" or by accepting your real self, on the subject will increase questions and points you sharing. If you decide to snooping people who ask and then maybe sharing your ability to share more may want to consider before accurate information. There tell someone close to you, unwelcome questions. the discovery with others telling someone close to is a list of books on page 19 be prepared to give them later. It’s never ending, you. that you may be interested in time to adjust and to frightening, exciting and Remember, everyone’s reading. Many of these comprehend the new ultimately rewarding situation is unique, and books can be accessed from information about you. Try "I only tell other people that because you are being everyone’s family is different. your local library or at the to hang in there while they I'm gay if I've known them true to yourself and the You need to think about these Freedom Centre. get over the initial shock for a long time and if they people you care for." suggestions in light of your of finding out they did not are accepting and tolerant. I Adam, 21 own personal situation. 5. Do you have available know everything about think it's important that they resources? you. know about this special part 1. How sure are you about Being attracted to the same of me." Jake, 18 your sexual attractions and sex is a subject most people 8. Are you financially sexuality? dependent on the people People Mean When They Talk know little about. One of the "You shouldn't feel you want to tell? About "Coming Out"? "Are you sure?" is one of the following may be useful: pressured to tell anyone at most common questions you a book addressed to If you suspect they are all until you are comfortable will be asked. Whether the parents (A free book called capable of withdrawing with the idea of being a The term "coming out" is You may want to tell answer is yes, no or maybe, Someone You Love is any financial support or lesbian yourself. Be someone else – someone used by many people, you need to be able to available from the forcing you out of where prepared that people's you trust to be and means something respond with confidence to organisations listed at the you live, you may choose reactions will vary." understanding and different to everyone. the question. back of this book), to wait until they do not Tammi, 18 supportive. You might It has to do with realising have this pressure to hold choose a friend or an 2. How comfortable are you the contact number for you are attracted to over you. You need to adult. You will probably with your sexuality? your nearest Parents, "Only tell someone if you feel people of the same sex, think about the want to meet other gay, Families and Friends of you have enough support to perhaps calling yourself If you are having feelings of advantages and lesbian or bisexual people Lesbians and Gays group. face what may happen. Try gay, lesbian or bisexual guilt or depression, seek disadvantages. for friendship or a more to tell someone if you think and perhaps deciding to some help in understanding the name of a counsellor intimate relationship. 9. What is their general you can't deal with these tell others about your those feelings before coming who will be unbiased. Your views about gay, lesbian feelings alone anymore. If feelings. Some young people are out to family. There are nearest Gay and Lesbian or bisexual people? you think your family might able to tell families and contact numbers at the end Community Service As you start to listen to friends. A later section in of this book. flip out, tell someone who your deepest feelings and organisation can make some Depending on your this booklet provides some might be more impartial." learn more about what it suggestions. relationship with someone, things to consider before 3. Do you have support? Sarah, 19 means to have these you may already have a sharing your feelings with 6. What is the mood at feelings you will begin to If your family’s reaction may good idea about their someone. home? be comfortable with your devastate you, you need to views and feelings on "When I told a couple of my sexuality. There are young people find someone or a group that If you have the choice of sexuality and its diversity. friends, I told them I was no who live in situations you can confidently turn to when to tell, consider the Use this knowledge to different now than I was five For some this process is where reality means that for emotional support and timing. Try not to tell people consider how much minutes before I told them, simple and their sexuality must be strength. You may want to during an argument or use information and support except that now I wasn't straightforward; for others kept a secret. The contact your nearest Gay and the issue as a weapon. This you may need if you decide keeping a big secret from it is difficult. For all of us it important thing is to be Lesbian Community Services will only distance people and to tell them about your them." Terryle, 16. is a learning experience. honest with yourself. for some suggestions. catch them during an feelings. New York : Harper Collins WA AIDS Council [email protected] Book List Publishers, c1997. (08) 9482 0000 www.glcssa.org.au [email protected] All of these books are Miller, Isabel (1985). Patience Gay Men’s Health www.waaids.com available in Western And Sarah. New York: Random (AIDS Council of SA) House. Australian libraries and The Samaritans Youthline (08) 8362 1617 can be located online at Reactions Salat, Cristina (1993). Living In (08) 9388 2500 / 1800 198 313 or 1800 888 559, www.liswa.wa.gov.au Secret. New York: Bantam. [email protected] [email protected] The following may help you Many books and other resources are available Sinclair, April (1994). Coffee www.thesamaritans.org.au www.aidscouncil.org.au understand and respond to Rejection Will Make You Black. New York: at your nearest gay & Bfriend (Peer support for newly people’s reactions. Hyperion. Australian Capital Some young people are Acceptance lesbian organisation, P- identifying gay, lesbian, bisexual FLAG, or through your Winterson Jeanette Oranges Territory Just as you are unique, so is rejected by the people they and transgender people and/or Self acceptance and local queer bookshop. Are Not the Only Fruit London : their parents: (08) 8202 5192 or everyone around you, and so tell. This is a difficult Pandora Press, 1985. Gay Information and acceptance of others is (08) 8202 5802, they will all react differently. situation to be part of. Counselling Service something everyone would For Gay, Lesbian and [email protected] Some people will have no Remember you are sharing For Family and Friends (02) 6247 2726 like. Many people love others Bisexual Youth problem with your sexuality an important part of The Care & Prevention without finally accepting their Bernstein, Robert A Straight AIDS Action Council of the and be happy for you, some yourself. If people choose to Parents, Gay Children: Keeping ACT (02) 6257 2855 Programme (integrated life. Many more reach the Non-Fiction multidisciplinary primary health may have already suspected ignore this they are missing Families Together Thunder’s [email protected] and were just waiting for you point where they can also Bauer, Marion Dane, (ed) Am I Mouth Press, New York, 1995 www.aidsaction.org.au care for gay and bisexual men), out on knowing who you Blue? Coming Out From The 8231 4026, to tell them, while for others celebrate everyone’s Marcus, Eric Is It A Choice: are. Hold onto the fact that Silence. New York: Harper Collins, [email protected] it will challenge their feelings uniqueness. 1994. Answers To 300 Of The Most New South Wales you are special. Reach out Frequently Asked Questions towards you. They may feel for support. Brash., Alan A. Facing Our About Gays And Lesbians. San 2010 Tasmania "I’ve often thought about what (02) 9552 6130 / 1800 65 2010 angry, responsible or worried. Differences: The Churches And Francisco: Harper Collins. 1993 Gender & Sexuality Support If your family do ask you to has transpired since then; I’ve Their Gay And Lesbian Members [email protected] Allow them time and space. Someone You Love, ‘Here for Line leave home please contact looked upon it as an Geneva WCC Publications, c1995. www.rainbow.net.au/~twenty10/ Shock, denial and feelings of Life’ Youth Sexuality Project. 1800 633 900 one of the services on the unplanned journey. It was Dillon, Michele Catholic Identity : (1997) Contact P-FLAG WA. Gay and Lesbian Counselling guilt are often experienced by Gay Information Line next page. Balancing Reason, Faith, And Service of NSW people when they are told thrust upon us; we’d hardly Power. Cambridge ; New York : (03) 6234 8179 have signed up for it if given Cambridge University Press, 1999. (02) 9207 2800 / 1800 18 4527 someone close to them is gay, Contact www.glcsnsw.org.au Gay & Lesbian Community the option of choosing lesbian or bisexual. They may Gilbert Herdt (ed) Gay And Centre Lesbian Youth, New York: AIDS Council of NSW have experienced the same something else. Unplanned, Numbers 0500 808 031 Harrington Park Press, 1989. (02) 9206 2000 however, does not mean environment as you but and Details [email protected] [email protected] possibly with very different unwelcomed. Today we can Gray, Mary L. In Your Face: www.gaytas.org Stories From The Lives Of Queer www.acon.org.au feelings. You have probably say "We’re glad we know." Youth New York: Harrington Park, National Tasmanian Council on AIDS given your sexuality a lot of We’ve been able to support c1999. Kids Help Line Northern Territory and Related Diseases thought, but it may be all new (TASCARD) our son on his journey. We Macleod, Mark Ready or Not, 1800 55 1800 Gay & Bisexual Mens Line (03) 6234 1242 to them. Although the feelings hope that he can say, Random House, 1996 www.kidshelp.com.au Telephone Service 1800 181 they may work through are 1800 005 900 "Unplanned, but not Pausacker Jenny (ed) Hide And Lifeline 888 similar to those you’ve dealt Seek: Stories About Being Young [email protected] unwelcome." 13 11 14 / 1300 13 11 14 Northern Territory AIDS with, the difference is that And Gay/Lesbian. Port Melbourne: www.tascard.org.au Father of a gay man Mandarin, 1996. www.lifeline.org.au Council you’re ahead of them in the (08) 8941 1711 / 1800 880 899 Working It Out – North West Reach Out! process. Signorile, Michelangelo Outing [email protected] (03) 6434 6474 Yourself Abacus, 1995 [email protected] www.ntac.org.au/ntac/ [email protected] You may want them to Congratulations ! www.reachout.asn.au Scanzoni, Letha and Mollenkott, Working It Out – South understand and grasp this Virginia R Is the Homosexual my We have just presented you AFAO Queensland (03) 6234 6122 important part of your life Neighbour? A Positive Christian with an enormous amount of (02) 9281 1999 [email protected] Response,. Harper San Fransisco, Gay and Lesbian Welfare right away and give you information, some may be http://www.afao.org.au 1994 Assoc support. However, you may useful to you now and some Victoria need to allow people time to Shale, Erin (ed) Inside Out : An Western Australia (02) 9207 2800 / 1800 184 527 may be more useful to you Australian Collection Of Coming www.glwa.org.au Gay & Lesbian Switchboard express their own feelings. Be later. Well done for getting Out Stories Melbourne: Bookman Freedom Centre (03) 9827 8544 Queensland AIDS Council patient. this far. Press, c1999. 08 9228 0354 1800 184 527 [email protected] (07) 3017 1777 You may also need to explain Fiction [email protected] [email protected] Understanding your sexuality www.freedom.org.au www.vicnet.net.au/~glswitch things a few times. Just is just one more step to Baldwin, James (1988). www.quac.org.au Gay and Lesbian because you’ve said understanding who you are. Giovanni's Room. New York: Dell Also Foundation Publishing. Community Services South Australia (03) 9827 4999 something once does not Sometimes this can be really (08) 9420 7201 [email protected] mean they heard it. Later they difficult but you are not Brown, Rita Mae (1988). Inside Out (Second Story Youth Rubyfruit Jungle. New York: [email protected] Health Service) www.also.org.au may be ready to ask alone. Reach out for support Bantam. www.glcs.org.au (08) 8232 0233, questions, listen to answers when you need it and trust Victorian AIDS Council: The Grima, Tony (ed) Not The Only PFLAG – Perth [email protected] Peter Knight Centre and acknowledge their your feelings. One: Lesbian And Gay Fiction For (08) 9228 1005 Gay & Lesbian Counselling (03) 9865 6700 / 1800 134 840 feelings. Teens Alyson Publications, 1995. [email protected] Services [email protected] Kerr, M. E. "Hello," I lied: A Novel www.pflag.org.au (08) 8362 3223 / 1800 182 233 www.vicaids.asn.au You’re Not Alone

FUNDED BY : AIDS TRUST OF AUSTRALIA, FRUITS IN SUITS, LOTTERYWEST, COMMONWEALTH DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND AGED CARE

AN INITIATIVE OF THE ‘HERE FOR LIFE’ YOUTH SEXUALITY PROJECT 1997, WA AIDS COUNCIL.